Child’s name: Date:

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Observation and Encouragement:
What is an area that you have seen effort on their part in this week?:

What is an accomplishment you have seen them make this week?:

What is an area that they have improved in this week?:

What have they contributed to your life, your family, the community, and your household
this week?:

What is a blessing you feel God saying to speak over them?:

How can you make an effort to speak their love language this week: (Gary Chapman The 5 Love
Languages of Children/Teenagers) What is something you enjoy doing with them that is as fun for you
as them? Appointment/Play date- set timer 10-20 minutes and no interruptions (phone,
adult wants, wandering thoughts, etc.)
Words of Affirmation, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, Physical Touch, Quality Time

Loving Obedience William J. Richardson, P.H. D.

 The Discipline Formula Worksheet (once every 4-8 weeks, how long it takes to break the habit)

Child’s Name: Date:

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What specific behavior(s) need to be stopped?

What does the parent feel is the cause of the behavior? What is at the heart of the issue
within the child’s own heart? Manipulation, anger, selfishness, etc. (Lou Priolo, Heart of Anger) (Tedd Tripp,
Sheparding a Child’s Heart)
Get the children to see the heart of the issue, ask them questions that make them face the
heart issue! (Ginger Plowman, Don’t Make Me Count to Three)

What specific behavior(s) is to be started?

What will the parents do to stop the problem behavior and start new behavior?
A. Remove the benefit.
B. Apply Corporal Punishment.
C. Allow Natural/Logical consequence(s). (Lisa Whelchel, Creative Correction + Kevin Lehman, How To Have A New Kid By
Friday)
D. Apply Biblical consequences. (Instruction In Righteousness, Teach them Diligently)

Loving Obedience William J. Richardson, P.H. D.

EXAMPLE
The Discipline Formula Worksheet (once every 4-8 weeks, how long it takes to break the habit)

Child’s Name: AVA Date:

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What specific behavior(s) need to be stopped?
Not being submitted to me as her parent-
• Defiance- lack of cheerful obedience ( in face -Mean looks, In speech-mean words,
in actions- slamming doors, crossed arms
• Willfulness- no obeying, doing something else when I tell her to do something,
ignoring/not listening to me.

What is the heart of the problem? What does the parent feel is the cause of the behavior?

Her lack of attention, me not paying attention/listening to her enough, my own frustration,
anger, mean looks, etc. show up in her attitude…

What specific behavior(s) is to be started?

Obedience all the time, all the way, right way, with a happy heart…

What is at the heart of the issue within the child’s own heart? Manipulation, anger, selfishness, etc. (Lou
Priolo, Heart of Anger) (Tedd Tripp, Sheparding a Child’s Heart)
Get the children to see the heart of the issue, ask them questions that make them face the
heart issue! (Ginger Plowman, Don’t Make Me Count to Three)

Anger, manipulation

Is your attitude showing respect for me and honoring God? Are you obeying or
disobeying? Are your actions showing that you are obeying with a happy heart?

What will the parents do to stop the problem behavior and start new behavior?
1. Remove the benefit.
2. Apply Corporal Punishment.
3. Allow Natural/Logical consequence(s). ((Lisa Whelchel, Creative Correction + Kevin
Lehman, How To Have A New Kid By Friday)
4. Apply Biblical consequences. (Instruction In Righteousness, Teach them Diligently)

Benefit is negative attention. isolate immediately! Send to their room and close the door.
Replace with positive attention. Spend time specifically with her doing things she enjoys.
Don’t let anything or anyone interrupt.

Disobedience is cause for corporal punishment (see Instruction In Righteousness) 3

spanking for 3 years old.

Biblical consequences- memorize verses below, pray together me for patience, gentleness,
wisdom and teach her to ask for forgiveness from you, and confess her sins to God, and
repent…
 Habits,
Character, and
Discipline
Book

Teach them ,even if they are just repeating your words at first to:
1. Pray to God – confessing their sin i.e. “I’m sorry I was being greedy.”
2. Teach them to ask for forgiveness: I am sorry I ------------, next time I will ----------
instead.
Time out: Time out 1 minute per year old
Special place designated
Don’t allow to come out of time out until quiet
Take time: Readers- send to room to read the verses in their Bible
and pray.
Time out first- for parents to be slow to anger: look up
verses in the bible so the bible can be seen as useful for
everyday, pray, then give spanking when you are calm
Spanking: 1 spanking per year old
Proverbs 22:15
Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod
of discipline will remove it far from him.
Additional duties- Do something to help(clean up)

-
Loss of privileges
Give something up, denial of something wanted,
Loss of privilege.
Restitution: Alone time in their room.
Early bedtime, leave activity(fun)
Apologize!

praise in front of peers, from family and friends, Special

dinner, ceremony, medal, crown, certificate…
Recognition:

Earn reward points, or give special time

*Points can be small stickers for a sticker chart or pennies
into a piggy bank
Give:

Earn points towards activities, crafts, treats, or trips to the

library, children’s museum or park

Reward:
Alertness vs carelessness
Appreciative vs. ungrateful
Attentive vs. distraction
Availability vs. self centeredness
Benevolence vs. selfishness
Boldness vs. fearfulness
Cautiousness vs rashness
Committed vs. wishy washy
Compassion vs. indifference
Concerned vs. carefree
Confident vs. unsure, insecure
Considerate vs. inconsiderate
Consistent vs. irregular
Contentment vs. covetousness
Cooperative vs. contentious
Courage vs. cowardice
Creativity vs. underachievement
Decisiveness vs. procrastination
Deference vs. rudeness
Dependability vs. inconsistency
Determined vs. irresolute
Diligence vs. slothfulness
Discernment vs. shortsightedness
Discretion vs. simplemindedness
Efficient vs. wasteful (poor steward)
Endurance vs. discouragement
Enthusiasm vs. apathy
Equitable vs. unfair
Fair vs. biased
Faith vs. presumption
Faithful vs. disloyal
Fearless vs. cowardly
Flexibility vs. resistance
Forgiveness vs. rejection un-forgiveness
Fortitude vs. weakness
Friendly vs. snobbish, aloof, cold, distant
Generosity vs. stinginess
Gentleness vs. harshness
Gratefulness vs. unappreciative
Honesty vs. lying dishonesty
Honor vs. disrespect
Humility vs. arrogance
Initiative vs. idleness
Joyfulness vs. self pity
Justice vs. corruption
Kindness vs. cruelty
Love vs. hatred
Loyalty vs. unfaithfulness
Meekness vs. anger
Merciful vs. hardhearted
Obedience vs. willfulness
Observant vs. inattentive
Optimistic vs. pessimistic
Orderliness vs. confusion
Patience vs. restlessness
Peaceful vs. violent
Perseverance vs. vacillation
Pleasing vs. unpleasant
Persuasiveness vs. contentiousness
Prudence vs. reckless
Punctuality vs. tardiness
Purposeful vs. indecisive
Resourcefulness vs. wastefulness
Respectful vs. disrespect
Responsibility vs. unreliability
Secure vs. insecure
Self control vs. self indulgence
Sensitivity vs. callousness
Sincerity vs. hypocrisy
Submissive vs. dominating
Tactful vs. inconsiderate
Thoroughness vs. incompleteness shoddy
workmanship
Thriftiness vs. extravagance
Tolerance vs. prejudice
Truthfulness vs. deception
Virtue vs. impurity
Wisdom vs. foolishness
In The Little Book of Christian Character and Manners by William and Colleen Dedrick, there is a
wonderful list in the back that are warning signs for parents who do not have authority in their
home, or a signal that they are loosing control in their home:

1. My child whines, cries, and pouts when I say “no” to him.

2. I find myself reluctant to ask my child to help with any tasks because of his negative
reaction and inability to complete a job. He usually responds to my requests by whining or
answers, “I can’t…or I don’t want to…”
3. There is an excessive amount of noise and confusion in my house: screaming, bickering,
crying, hitting, rough behavior with furniture or toys, etc.
4. I am unable to leave food snacks or anything of personal value within my child's reach.
5. I am unable to leave my child (aged three or above) out of my sight or unattended in
another room for any period of time without being worried about what he is up to.
6. I am embarrassed or afraid to take my child to other homes or the restaurant because he is
so active (boisterous, silly, fidgety; he knocks things over and touches everything).
7. My child is unable to sit quietly for any length of time in a place I specify.
8. Going shopping is a fiasco because my children run through the clothes racks, or touch
everything in the store, or run away from me.
9. My child has a "smart mouth" (yells, uses abusive language, swears at me) or hits me.
10. My child throws tantrums, refuses to eat or do what he is asked to do.
11. My child takes things without asking and rummages through our drawers and cupboards.
12. My child does not come when called or respond to my voice from another room.
13. When I ask my child to do something I always have to explain "why" first.
14. Many of my child's toys are broken and he rarely puts any away—outdoors or indoors.
15. My child avoids doing what I ask by using flattering words, changing the subject, or doing
some other good deed instead.
16. My child gets my attention with loud, disrespectful demands, e.g.,"Hey, Mom! Get the __
for me!" or "I want __ !" or "Mom, come here!"
17. I find myself saying, "I can't do that because Suzy won't let me" or "I can't get Johnny to do
that..."
18. When I spank my child he pouts, responds in anger, screams, throws himself on the floors,
slams doors, prolongs his crying, coughs, or gags (attempts to vomit).
19. As I talk on the phone or chat with others, my child constantly interrupts or acts naughty,
demanding my attention.
20. My child is constantly bored, discontent, and looking for entertainment; wanting to play, he
grumbles at his work.
21. I am ready to pull my hair out. My child drives me crazy. I am so worn out all the time that I
can hardly wait to get a break from him at every opportunity.
Love of money

Love of self

Love of approval

Love of control (power)

Love of pleasure

Love of food

Love of sleep

Love of darkness

Love of simplicity

Love of cursing

Love of evil and falsehood

Love of silver and abundance

Love of one’s own life

Love of this present world

Love of the things of the world

Attentiveness:
inattentive, distracted, busy
listening, not listening,

Listening with your whole being, your hands still, mouth quiet, ears listening, eyes
watching, and heart calm.

Stop what you are doing and quiet yourself

Look at the person who is talking and listen

Wait until the person is finished speaking

repeat what they said back to them and ask questions

Obey
Proverbs 1:8 Listen, my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching.
Proverbs 4:1 Listen, my sons, to a father's instruction; pay attention and gain understanding.
Proverbs 1:33 but whoever listens to me will live in safety and be at ease, without fear of harm.
Proverbs 4:20 My son, pay attention to what I say; listen closely to my words.
Proverbs 8:32-34 Now then, my sons, listen to me; blessed are those who keep my ways. Listen to my instruction and be wise; do not
ignore it. Blessed is the man who listens to me, watching daily at my doors, waiting at my doorway.
Proverbs 22:17-18 Pay attention and listen to the sayings of the wise; apply your heart to what I teach, for it is pleasing when you keep
them in your heart and have all of them ready on your lips.
Proverbs 18:13 He who answers before listening— that is his folly and his shame.
Proverbs 13:1 A wise son heeds his father's instruction, but a mocker does not listen to rebuke.
Sinful Biblical consequences Righteous Bible Blessing
behavior- reproof behavior- put
take off on
Distracted, Proverbs Attentiveness- Proverbs
ignoring, 1:8 Listen, Listen 8:32-34 Now
inattentive my son, to then, my sons,

-
your listen to me;
(may be father's blessed are
disobedience) instruction those who
and do not keep my ways.
forsake Listen to my
your instruction and
mother's be wise; do
teaching. not ignore it.
Blessed is the
man who
listens to me,
watching daily
at my doors,
waiting at my
doorway.
Obedience-
willfulness, defiance.
obey, disobedience,

It means that we should carry out the direction or expectation of

those responsible for us

thoroughly(All the way)

quickly (right away)

cheerfully (with a happy heart and face

and attitude).
Deuteronomy 11:1 You must love the LORD your God and obey all his requirements, decrees, regulations,
and commands.
Colossians 3:20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
Ephesians 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
Hebrews 13:17 Obey your leaders and submit to their authority. They keep watch over you as men who must
give an account. Obey them so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no advantage
to you.
 Sinful Biblical consequence Righteous Bible Blessing
Behavior- reproof behavior-
take off put on
disobedience Colossians Honoring Ephesians 6:2-
3:20 3
Children, "Honor your
obey your father and
parents in mother"—
everything, which is the
for this first
pleases the commandment
Lord. with a promise
— "that it may

-
Read story go well with
of Jonah you and that
you may enjoy
long life on the
earth."

Wise Words for Moms- Ginger Plowman

Are you obeying or disobeying?
How did you disobey?
How does God want you to obey? Obedience is immediate, all the time, all the way, right
away, and with a happy heart.

When you disobey me you are disobeying God and it will not go will with you. I love you
too much to allow you to disobey.
Sinful Biblical consequence Righteous Bible Blessing
Behavior- take off reproof behavior-
put on
Disrespectfulness Romans respect Obey those who
13:7 rule over you,
do what they
…give say and be
respect and submissive.
honor to Their work is to
those who watch over your
are in souls, and they
are accountable
authority.
to God. Give
them reason to
do this with joy

-
and not with
sorrow. That
would certainly
not be for your
benefit.
Hebrews 13:17
Sinful Biblical consequence Righteous Bible Blessing
Behavior- take off reproof behavior-
put on
Defiance The submission The wise in
wicked heart will accept
harden and obey
their face commandments
but the if all you do is
virtuous talk, you will
think destroy yourself.
before they Proverbs 10:8
act.
Proverbs

-
21:29

Wise words for Moms- Ginger Plowman

Are you obeying or disobeying with your attitude?

Are you truly obeying when you obey with an unhappy heart?

It is wicked for you to harden your face and foolish for you to despise instruction.
A wise heart accepts commands and a happy heart makes a cheerful face.
Sinful Biblical consequence Righteous Bible Blessing
Behavior- take off reproof behavior-
put on
Not receiving Proverbs Follows Proverbs 13:13
instruction 23:19 instruction He who scorns
My child, instruction will
-Back talk listen and pay for it, but
be wise: he who respects
- arguing and direct a command is
your mind rewarded.
on the way
of the
Lord.

-
From Creative Correction by Lisa Whelchel:
Philippians 2:14-15 “Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may be
blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in
which you shine like stars in the universe.”

“--------------- , you are a child of God and you shine like a star- but when you argue, your
light begins to fade. God and I want you to always shine brightly, so please think about
your attitude.”

To the tune of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star:

Twinkle Twinkle little star

That’s what God says you are
Please don’t argue or complain
So you can shine again and again
Twinkle twinkle little star
That’s what God says you are

Watch 3-2-1 Penguins – The Amazing Carnival

Sinful Biblical consequence Righteous Bible Blessing
Behavior- reproof behavior-
take off put on
Lack of self Proverbs Self-control 2 Timothy 1:7
control 25:28 …[He has
A person Self- given us a
without discipline spirit] of power

-
self-control and of love and
is like a city of a calm and
with well-balanced
broken- mind and
down walls. discipline and
self-control.
Sinful Biblical consequence Righteous Bible Blessing
Behavior- reproof behavior-
take off put on
Hitting, Ephesians gentleness Galatians 5:22-23
kicking, 4:31 But the Holy Spirit
biting, Get rid of produces this kind of
throwing all fruit in our lives:
things
bitterness, love, joy, peace,
rage and patience, kindness,
anger, goodness,
brawling faithfulness,
and gentleness, and self-
slander, control.
along with
every form
of malice.
Matthew 7:12 So then, whatever you desire that others would do to and for you, … do
also to and for them…
Luke 6:31 Do to others as you would like them to do to you.
Sinful Biblical consequence Righteous Bible Blessing
Behavior- reproof behavior- put
take off on
Fighting, 1 Peter 3:11 Peacemaking Proverbs
starting Turn away 12:20
fights from evil and …there is joy
do good. for those who
revenge

-
Search for work to bring
peace, and peace.
work to
maintain it.

Matthew 5:43
Love your
enemies. Pray
for those who
hurt you.
Sinful Biblical consequence Righteous Bible Blessing
Behavior- take reproof behavior-
off put on
foolishness Philippians wisdom Proverbs
2:14 13:1
Temper tantrum Do A WISE
manipulation everything child heeds
Crying, without their parent’s
arguing, complaining instruction
grumbling, or arguing… and
complaining- correction.

-
Holding a grudge/ Unforgiveness/ pouting

Proverbs 17:9
He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates
close friends.

Proverbs 19:11
A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.

Luke 6:37-42

Matthew 18:23-35
Sinful Biblical reproof consequence Righteous Bible Blessing
Behavior- behavior-
take off put on
Lying Proverbs 12:19 Honesty Proverbs
Truthful words 12:22
stand the test of The Lord
time, but lies detests lying
are soon lips, but he
exposed. delights in
those who tell
the truth.
Tell story of
King David

-
Sinful Biblical reproof consequence Righteous Bible Blessing
Behavior- behavior-
take off put on
Sneakiness Proverbs 28:13 Honesty Proverbs
He who 12:22
deceitfulness conceals his The Lord
sins does not detests lying
prosper, but lips, but he
whoever delights in
confesses and those who tell
renounces them the truth.
finds mercy.

-
Tell story of
King David
Sinful Biblical consequence Righteous Bible Blessing
Behavior- reproof behavior-
take off put on
“mine”- Luke 12:1 Contentment Philippians
Greed …a man's life 4:11
does not …for I have
consist in the learned to be

-
abundance of content
his whatever the
possessions… circumstances…
Sinful Biblical consequence Righteous Bible Blessing
Behavior- reproof behavior-
take off put on
Selfishness- 1 Timothy generosity 2 Corinthians
6:18 9:7b
Not sharing …be rich in For God loves a
good works person who

-
and generous gives
to those in cheerfully.
need, always
being ready to Luke 6:35
share with …lend,
others. expecting
nothing in
return, and your
reward will be
great
Sinful Biblical consequence Righteous Bible Blessing
Behavior- reproof behavior- put
take off on
Not saying 2 Timothy Gratitude Ephesians
thank you: 3:2 5:20
For people Thankfulness …give
Rude, will love thanks for
only everything
un – themselves to God the
appreciative and their Father in

-
money. the name
ungrateful
They will of our Lord
be boastful Jesus
and proud, Christ.
scoffing at
God,
disobedient
to their
parents,
and
ungrateful.
They will
consider
nothing
sacred.
more work 14:40 12:10
for mommy But Honor one
everything another

-
should be above
done in a yourselves.
fitting and
orderly way.
Sinful Biblical reproof consequence Righteous Bible Blessing
Behavior- behavior-
take off put on
Vandalism Proverbs 21:20 Stewardship Matthew
-Breaking …fools waste 25:29
things, not everything they To those who
taking care have. use well what
of things
they are
1 Corinthians given, even
4:2 more will be
… those who are given, and

-
trusted with they will
something have an
valuable must abundance.
show they are
worthy of that
trust.
Discernment-

So any person who knows what is right to do but does not do it, to him
it is sin. James 4:17

Susanna Wesley example:

One day one of her daughters wished to do something which was not
altogether bad, but which was not right. When she was told not to do it, she
was not convinced.
It was late and she and her mother were sitting beside a dead fire. Her
mother said to her: “Pick up that bit of coal.” “I don’t want to,” said the girl. “Go
on,” said her mother. “The fire is out, it won’t burn you.” “I know that,” said the
girl. “I know it won’t burn me but it will blacken my hands.” “Exactly,” said
Susannah Wesley. “That thing which you wish to do won’t burn, but it will blacken.
Leave it alone.”

http://www.the-mothers-heart.com/SusannaWesleyRules.pdf