CENTRE FOR MODERN LANGUAGES AND HUMAN SCIENCES

UHL 2412 ENGLISH FOR ACADEMIC COMMUNICATION

SEM 1, 2014/2015

ASSESSMENT 4: FIRST DRAFT

MATRIC NO.

STUDENTS NAME

MARK
OUTLINE

1.

KC13054

2.

KC13058

MUHAMMAD FAIZ BIN

PAPER

/10

/20

/30

MOHAMED AMEEN

TOPIC NO.:

TOPIC 19

DATE:

DRAFT

TOTAL

GHANI @ MOHD ZAHID

SECTION 03G

NAME:

TERM

NORFARIDAH BT ABDUL

SECTION:

LECTURERS

FIRST

MOHD SHAFEIRUL ZAMAN BIN ABD MAJID

14th NOVEMBER 2014

/60

APPENDIX B
FIRST DRAFT 10%

TOPIC: People have become overly dependent on technology

PARAGRAPH 1
GENERAL STATEMENT:
The human civilization undergo many changes and developments with the passage of time. Early
man lived in caves and forests. They lived on the food available in the forests. Science has
blessed mankind with all the basic comforts of life. Nowadays, technology have been improved
our life in innumerable ways which make our life on the earth much more easier. Many people
admit they cannot survive one day without gadgets such as phones, laptops and computers,
tablets and more. We even rely on those gadgets just to entertain us on occasions. Hence,
\technology is ruining the future generations and will spoil the generations after that.

THESIS STATEMENT:
Thus, we are strongly agree that people have become overly dependent on technology because
they are
we are strongly agree that people have become overly dependent on technology because
a) technology is dumbing down society
b) technology is used as a lone source of communication with others, which leads to antisocialism and bad communication skills
c) technology has gradually changed us and made us lazier
PARAGRAPH 2

1. TOPIC SENTENCE:
Improvements in technology have give many negative impacts mainly to society which
rise the social problems.

2. SUPPORTING DETAILS
Technology is slowly taking over our social lives and slowly creeping into our
relationships and everyday activities. Have you ever seen two friends sitting in the same

room exchanging information with each other via chat applications? This is what our
society is turning into which we are have stopped communicating with each other. People
are glued to their iPads and smartphones and spend considerable amount of the day on
networking sites or social sites like Facebook and Twitter.

PARAGRAPH 3

1. TOPIC SENTENCE:
Besides, depend too much on technology has cause the intellectual problems which
causing a serious debate in the worldwide.

2. SUPPORTING DETAILS
As a matter of fact, when we need to know something our brain instantly jumps to
Google. We have never tried to figure out anything by ourselves if we choose not to be.
Mostly, we are using technology just to solve the most simple mathematics calculations
such as addition and subtraction question of small numbers. We just pressed the calculator
and the answer shows in the screen.

PARAGRAPH 4

1. TOPIC SENTENCE:
In addition, health problem is another one of the bad impact for too much reliant on
technology.

2. SUPPORTING DETAILS
Indeed, there was a time when people spent time playing outdoors. This will built their
immunity, increased their stamina and made them ready to face the world in many
aspects. Unfortunately, today we would rather smash away at our gamepads and joysticks
rather than pick up the baseball bat. Playing outdoors exposes us to teamwork and equip
us to handle peer pressure later in life. It is already well proven that resulting from

spending too much time at home, we are often unable to handle ourselves properly in high
school and college.

PARAGRAPH 5
COUNTER ARGUEMENT
On the other hand, we are not too dependent on technology because people use their technology
and gadgets for lots of useful things such as keeping up with news and emailing people for
connecting and working. Besides, technology can be anything because cars and planes are also
technology. But without technology how would we be able to communicate easily, prevent
diseases, make jobs more possible, and to transport items more easily. However, people
nowadays have become overly dependent on technology which lead to the rising of social
problems , intellectual problems and health problem.

PARAGRAPH 6
CONCLUSION
1. REPHRASE THESIS STATEMENT
Thus, we are strongly agree that people have become overly dependent on technology which lead
to the rising of social problems , intellectual problems and health problem.

2. PERSONAL OPINION IF ANY

In a nutshell, we are strongly agree that technology make our life better but depending on
something too much other than ourselves lead to bad impact. Yeah for sure, we totally agree. As
a sophomore in college, we think that if we didnt have a smart phone distracting us at all times,
we would have much better grades. We are constantly checking it for messages or notifications
from social networks.