Rules of Attraction - Why White Men Marry Asian Women and Asian Men Don't Marry White Women - Vesko Cholakov

12/15/2014
Rulesofattraction:WhywhitemenmarryAsianwomenandAsianmendon'tmarrywhitewomen|VeskoCholakov
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29 JUL RULES OF ATTRACTION: WHY WHITE MEN MARRY

ASIAN WOMEN AND ASIAN MEN DONT MARRY WHITE
WOMEN
Posted at 06:47h in Long reads by Vesko Cholakov 235 Comments Share
I studied abroad at the National University of Singapore for a semester my sophomore

year. I couldnt help but notice a peculiar trend: My white male friends were fascinated
with the idea of hitting on Asian girls. This yellow fever wasnt shared by my female
friends though.
Why these different attitudes?
The skew is not just anecdotal. In the United States, there are 529,000 white male
Asian female married couples and just 219,000 Asian male white female married
couples, according to the 2010 U.S. census. Similarly, the number of black male white
female marriages is 2.3 times bigger than the number of white male black female
pairs. With African Americans and Asian Americans, the ratios are even further
imbalanced, with roughly five times more Asian female African male marriages than
Asian male African female marriages.

The phenomenon is not even confined to the U.S. In 2013, cognitive psychologist
Michael Lewis at the University of Cardiff in Wales in the U.K. asked 20 females and 20
males to rate 600 Facebook pictures of British, sub-Saharan Africans, and East Asians.
The participants consistently voted black men and Asian women as the most
attractive representatives of each gender; Asian men and black women were seen as
the least desirable partners.
Darker skin is always associated with more masculine faces, Lewis told me in a phone
conversation. Difference in height can also partially explain the observed results, he
said. Society imposes a male-superior norm that a man should be taller than his
partner; and blacks are on average taller than whites, who are taller than Asians, he says.
http://cholakovv.com/en/blog/2450
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I thought there must be more to the picture. I set off to answer the question, What
informs our perception of beauty? Is there really something profound about face
shape, height and body features that defines attraction? Or, is beauty merely a social
construct amplified by popular culture?
After more than a dozen interviews, I found some fascinating answers that go back two
centuries of history. This post is long overdue (two years after I returned from
Singapore) but I want to share my findings with you.
THREE OVERARCHING STEREOTYPES

Three major stereotypes that have come into being in history and have since been
reinforced by popular culture inform the perceptions of beauty in Western culture
today, says Nitasha Sharma, an anthropology professor at Northwestern University who
researches difference, inequality and racism in Asian-black relations.
The first stereotype is that black men are aggressive and hyper-masculine walking
penises and Asian women are the perfect wives docile, submissive, obedient, shy
and waiting to be saved, Sharma says. Second, Asian men have been de-sexualized as
small and weak brainiacs excelling at math but unable to get the girl, while black
women have been seen as too aggressive, independent and outspoken to be proper
wives. The third stereotype portrays whites in a position of power and globally
desired, a key to gaining a higher social status.
Love is not colorblind, Sharma admits. However, to claim that height and shape or
symmetries of the face make some races more desirable than others is a complete
baloney, she says.
If you think of Asian men or black women as less attractive than other races, it is
because of you, not because of them, Sharma says. Since the day you were born,
different influences on your mind the bedtime stories your Mom read, the cartoons
you saw as kid, the school you went to and the wallpaper on your computer have
come together to create a cohesive image of the world.
HOW THE ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY PRIMES US

Popular culture movies, TV, cartoons, books aim to reflect reality and end up
reinforcing it as well. This is not a matter of brainwashing, Sharma says. Its how
people make sense of their position in society. Stereotyping puts people in categories
and helps us explain a complex world with oversimplification.
PERCENT OF TIME ACTORS USE PROFANITY ON SCREEN
89
BLACK
17
WHITE
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WHITE
Look at those figures: On screen, black characters use profanity 89 percent of the time,
versus white characters who use profanity 17 percent of the time. Blacks are depicted
in physical violence 56 percent of the time, while whites play violent roles just 11
percent of the time, according to Robert Entman and Andrew Rojeckis 2000 book The
Black Image in the White Mind.
Blacks are further shown as either lazy or hypersexual, while Asian men, to the extent
that they are portrayed at all, are either mommas boys or effeminate computer dorks
with no social skills, Entman says.
If you can come up with an example [in movies] where an Asian man is shown in a
sexual role with a white woman, Id be shocked. Shocked! Sharma says.
Asian men normally do not take the romantic lead. During its 15-year run, the NBC
show ER did not star a single Asian in a leading male role. Greys Anatomy showed
the romances of six white characters exclusively with other white people and
between a black male, Dr. Preston Burke, and an Asian female, Dr. Cristina Yang. An
iPhone 4 FaceTime commercial features three couples all of them white men video
calling either white or Asian female mates. There are countless more examples.
Some notable big-screen exceptions include Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan and Jet Li. Even so,
if Asians are portrayed as heroes, they are mostly martial arts masters and not
necessarily a magnet for women, says James Berardinelli, a film critic at Reelviews
Movie Reviews.
The 2000 blockbuster Romeo Must Die features Jet Lis character who falls for Trish
ODay, the daughter of a money-dealer. In the final scene of the original cut, Jet Lis
character kisses ODay, played by the late hip-hop star Aaliyah. However, test screenings
showed that viewers did not approve of the kiss; the final cut saw the kiss changed to a
hug and a fourth-grade-style holding of hands. This interaction between an Asian male
and black female may have been unappealing, or too daring, to viewers.
The 1984 American coming-ofage comedy film Sixteen
Candles, which drew box office
sales three times its budget and
received mostly positive critical
acclaim, portrays the quirky
Asian Long Duk Dong who has a
fascination with white girls
who find him unattractive. He
is horny yet emasculated by his
obvious foreignness (he doesnt
LongDuckDong,aforeignexchangestudents,playsthe
roleofatotaldorkwhowithsophomoricinnuendokeeps
proposingtosuburbanteenagerSamantha,whileshe
cravesromanticattentionfromthehighschoolshunk
Jake.This1984UniversalPicturesfilmhas86percent
approvalratingbycriticsonRottenTomatoes.
know what quiche is and uses a

knife and fork like chopsticks).
Only recently has Hollywood
deviated a bit from the clich
with characters like Detective Lieutenant Chin Ho Kelly of Hawaii Five-O. Walter Hills
2013 action film Bullet to the Head stars Sylvester Stallone whose characters daughter
initiates a romantic relationship with Asian actor Sung Kang. The Fast and Furious
franchise also breaks the stereotype in movies three to six, in which Taiwanese-born
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franchise also breaks the stereotype in movies three to six, in which Taiwanese-born
American director Justin Lin hired Sung Kang to play the role of the macho Han SeoulOh.
ORIGINS OF THE FEMINIZATION OF ASIANS

The stigma of Asians femininity began with the first wave of Chinese immigrants to
America in the late 19th century, says Ji-Yeon Yuh, an Asian-American history professor
at Northwestern University. Few of the immigrants were women. As Asian men went in
great numbers to seek white wives, white American men saw the invasion as a peril
and started branding the Asian bachelors as asexual and homosexual.
In 1850, the Chinese community of San Francisco consisted of 4018 men and only seven
women. In 1855, women made up only 2 percent of the Chinese population in the U.S.,
and even in 1890 they increased to just 4.8 percent.
The political cartoons of that time in Harpers Magazine ridiculed Chinese bachelors
for taking on girly work cooking in restaurants and doing the laundry when in
fact those were the only jobs available.
One of the most popular fictional characters
of the early 20th century is an Asian
called Fu Manchu, the archetype of an evil
criminal genius. He appeared in film,
television, music, radio and comic strips as
powerful, yet exotic and somewhat erotic,
feminine with long fingernails and a long
flowing robe, Yuh says. He is everything but
masculine.
ThefaceofDr.FuManchu,anAsianvillain
keenoncommittingmurderswitharcane
methods.Firstintroducedinbookseries,Fu
Manchu,hassincebeendepictedinfilm,TV
andcomicstrips.Albeitwicked,hisdepiction
ishardlymasculine.
Another problem is that East and West

cultures think of manliness differently. In
Confucian societies China, Korea and
Japan the masculine man is intelligent,
wise, respectful, abiding by the rules of society and caring for his parents and
extended family; he is a filial son, good husband and a good brother, Yuh says.
Americas epitome of masculinity is the cowboy riding a horse with a gun, a father
protecting his family with a gun or a soldier doing his nations duty with a gun, Yuh
says. American masculine men need not be charming, talkative or emotional, as long as
they are tall, dark and handsome. Thats not necessarily true in Asia.
The closest translation of the word masculine to Korean would be namja-daeun,
which literally means characteristics of a man and connotes someone who has
integrity and loyalty, keeps his promises; he does what he says he does, and achieves it,
Yuh says.
America encourages extrovert personality traits like speaking up and selling yourself
out. But in China people usually value the strength within oneself, says Xun Wang, 26,
a native of Nanjing city in Jiangsu province in China, who came to America to complete
a PhD degree in civil engineering at Cornell University. I contacted him after reading
some of his comments on Quora. American girls are attracted to confident machos, he
says, while most Asians esteem knowledgeable and insightful men and dont mind softspoken and timid boys.
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ORIGINS OF THE MASCULINIZATION OF BLACKS

The masculinization of blacks bears a strikingly similar origin to that of the feminization
of Asians. In the days of slavery when white men started having black mistresses, white
women saw black female slaves as a threat to their families and branded them as
masculine and out of control sexuality, says Northwestern Professor Yuh. Because
African-American women did the same kind of hard physical labor as men, the
reputation was easy to establish. As a result, in the marriage market, the value of black
women is highly devalued.
If you ask a man why he is not attracted to a black female, the chances are he will think
of the same stereotypes like someone who likes black females. But the first person will
see the stereotypes with negative connotation, while the second person will see them in
a positive light, says Jovan Campbell, an African-American from Chicago. I chatted with
her on Skype.
We are [stereotypically] loud, obnoxious and severely in debt, Campbell says. Most
men interpret a black womans independence as a be-in-your-face type of arrogance,
deprived of femininity and improper for ladies, she says.
I was quite stricken when I found on the web a thriving community called Asian Men
and Black Women Persuasion (AMBWP). The club is a venue for black females to meet
Asian males. It has a Meetup page, chapters in major American cities and 2,000
members in a closed group on Facebook.
What remains an uncharted territory for most is the secret gold piece of jewelry for
Rabia Abdul, 35, an African-American Sunni Muslim from Newton, Massachusetts. I
found her on Asian Men and Black Women Persuasion. Abdul grew up watching Bruce
Lees martial art movies, had her first crush on him as a teenager and at the age of 25
came out to her friends (she uses come out to mean admitting that she is attracted to
Asian men). Previously married for a Vietnamese man, she is now dating a KoreanAmerican.
Mixing races at schools has most recently also helped remove the stigma on black
females and Asian males. I also spoke with David Lee Chu Sarchet, 24, another member
of Asian Men and Black Women Persuasion. Sarchet went to Colorados Harrison High
School, which enrolls 69 percent minority students 19 percent black, 43 percent
Hispanic and 6 percent Asian. He sees black women just as attractive as whites and
even a bit more. Sarchet says this is because he went to a diverse school where
interracial dating was the norm.
I like their bottle figure, he says. I like how smooth their skin is. He then told me in
detail about the appeal of a black females body curves, lips, fuller figure and skin
color. No matter how old they get, they always look young.
HOW WHITES FIT INTO THE PICTURE

The final perception that informs our perception of beauty is the desirability of white
skin globally, Northwestern anthropologist Sharma says.
I dont think you can find a society where dark skin is praised over white skin, she says.
America as a global force politically, culturally and economically defines whats
desirable. The U.S. was founded and is still ruled predominantly by white men, she
says.
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Some women of color approach white men to get better social status. If a Filipina
marries a westerner, her family sees dollars, says Sheryl Berardinelli, the wife of film
critic Berardinelli, who is ethnically Chinese and grew up in the Philippines. Its a very
desirable match, and the family would pursue it even if the woman isnt excited by the
idea, she says.
The social order with white males on top in this country is alive and well. A white male
can marry anybody he wants and he will never be subject to the same kind of social
and societal disapproval a woman would, says Cheryl Judice, a Northwestern
University sociology professor and an author of the book Interracial Marriages
Between Black Women and White Men.
White mans desire to marry a mystic
creature from a land far away dates
back to the age of colonization when
along with war, sex and marriage
flourished, Sharma says. It was
common for British colonizers to have
relationships even whole families
with Indian concubines. French,
Portuguese, Spanish and Dutch did the
same in Indochina, Africa and South
America. Americans have also brought
home war brides from World War II,
the Korean War and the Vietnam
JohnLennonandYokoOnos1969marriagewas
daringanditsentwavesacrosstheglobe.Onecan
onlyspeculatehowmuchOnosexoticspirithelped
enthrallLennon.
War, Sharma says. The trend became

especially popular in the 1970s, during
the feminist movement in the U.S.,
when American women became
uncontrollable and pamphlets that
Asians were submissive and completely oriented to serve as wives captured American
mens imagination, Yuh says.
Since then men have continued to fetishize Asian women. In fact, filmmaker Debbie
Lums award-winning documentary Seeking Asian Female, which aired on PBS in
2013, follows for five years the life of Steven, an American who exotifies Asians as manpleasing sex kittens. Aging and twice-divorced, he digs into the deep web in search of a
young bride from China; he connects with the much younger Sandy from a rural
village in the Anhui province in China, visits her a few times in China and takes her to
the U.S. on a K-1 engagement visa.
ITS A PROBLEM TO PUT PEOPLE IN CATEGORIES

I grew up ashamed that being Asian I was ugly. I didnt have my first girlfriend until I
was 19 because of that, Sarchet says.
Sarchet is half-white but identifies as Asian. He is an offspring of a white father from the
Air Force and a first-generation Taiwanese immigrant. Sarchet cooks burgers for Sonic
Drive-In in Colorado, studies social services at Pikes Peak Community College and
wants to get a graduate degree, get married and have children.
But if I have daughters, Im gonna only buy them black Barbie dolls or Asian Barbie
dolls. I dont want them growing up thinking that they are not beautiful just because
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dolls. I dont want them growing up thinking that they are not beautiful just because
they are not white, he says.
Sarchet made the decision after seeing a YouTube video that shows how 15 out of 21
black children prefer a white doll when asked to choose between identical white and
black toys. When the interviewer asks why the other toy looks bad, kids
overwhelmingly respond, Because its black.
The video was produced by a New York-based African-American filmmaker Kiri Davis.
Her 2005 documentary A Girl Like Me, which aired on HBO, examines why the
physical appearance of blacks does not conform to societys standards of beauty.
Davis experiment is a remake of the famous 1939 test of psychologist Kenneth Clark
who helped persuade the U.S. Supreme Court in Brown v. Board of Education that
separate public schools for whites and blacks were damaging to society. Clark showed
that children who went to segregated schools were more likely to pick the white doll as
the nicer toy rather than the black doll.
SHAKING THE NORM

Forty-five years after the U.S. Supreme Court found anti-miscegenation laws
unconstitutional, just 8 percent of all U.S. marriages are interracial and only 0.3 percent
of all interracial marriages are between an Asian man and a black woman, according to
the 2010 U.S. census. But as new generations do not buy old conventions, the normal
is quickly changing.
Sarchet, who is Asian and likes black girls, remembers the strange looks waiters gave
him five years ago when he went out on a date with a black woman in a Chinese
restaurant in Canon City, Colorado. Kinda the look as if they saw an UFO on a corn
field, he says. His friends also laughed at him. Now, interracial dating is gaining
popularity, especially on the east and west coasts, he says.
I dont care about anybodys approval. People will get accustomed. All my friends are
into interracial relationships now, he says. White women tend to be too clean and
overly emotional, Sarchet says. They [white girls] dont have the curves. Most of them
are really skinny. Im not really into anorexic girls.
Pew Research Centers 2010 report on racial attitudes found that nine out of ten
Millennials (the demographic cohort aged 18-28) will approve if a family member
marries someone of a different racial or ethnic group. In contrast, just 55 percent of
50-to-64-year-old and 38 percent of those 65 and older will support such an union.
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50-to-64-year-old and 38 percent of those 65 and older will support such an union.
I didnt actually start dating Asian guys until Obama was president, says Campbell
from Chicago. Her great grandfather, who fought in World War II in Germany, had
issues with white people, and Campbell stuck to the unspoken family rule she could
date a guy of another race only over his [her granddads] dead body or if a black man
becomes a president (which would signal the country was less racist).
Today, Campbell cherishes seeing peoples eyes bust out of their heads when they
spot her with an Asian. I have an adventurous type of spirit and like the idea of being
with something rare, she says. Im attracted to the fact that its something not very easy
to get. Its rare, and if you work hard to keep it, then its really special. As far as her
preferences go: I dont have very many expectations other than he being taller than
me so I can wear my high heels, she says.
***
Huh, this was a long read. If you liked the story, you can follow me on Twitter. Or, share
the article on Facebook and ask your friends what they think about it.
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Jointhediscussion
H2O2 amonthago
"Ihaveanadventuroustypeofspiritandliketheideaofbeingwithsomethingrare,WTFshe's
referringtoherboyfriendasathing?shejustsoundslikeshe'sdatingatrophyAsianboyfriendforthe
noveltyofitA
281
Reply Share
12Notes>H2O2 amonthago
ManymendateAsianwomenforthesameexactreasonsandevenmoreso.Butthenof
course,therearealotfewerwhitewomendatingAsianmen.Kindoffunnybutthishasbeen
goingonsinceWWIIbutveryfewhaveeverrecognizedit.
66
Reply Share
Peter>H2O2 amonthago
Sheprobablymeans"beinginsomethingrare."The"thing"meaninganinterracialcoupleof
Blackwoman/Asianman,Asianmanaredefinitelynotrarelol
35
Reply Share
gabe223>Peter 25daysago
Yes,Asianguysarenotrare,buttogetanasianguytodateawhiteorblackfemale,
YESITISRARE.
8
Reply Share
PaulKishimoto>H2O2 amonthago
Ifhe'shappywithher,andshewithhim,whyfindfaultwiththereasonstheygiveforseeking
eachotherout?
30
8/15
12/15/2014
30
Reply Share
flora>H2O2 amonthago
YeaI'mnotappreciatinghermotivationsfordatingoutsideofherrace,orherwillingnessto
followsuchahorriblerulesetbyaracistfamilymember.
23
Reply Share
CharlesVise>H2O2 amonthago
Heisathing.Allhumansarethings.getoverit.
12
Reply Share
KyungjunKJPark>CharlesVise amonthago
Thatmeansyou'reathingtoo!
8
Reply Share
MsG>H2O2 amonthago
Itsoundsasthoughherattractionstemsfromafetish
18
Reply Share
Miju>H2O2 amonthago
Kindafellthesame.What"thing"!
15
Reply Share
shirene>H2O2 amonthago
Igetwhatshe'ssaying.I'mAFdatinghalfblackhalfhispanicmale.Ilikeitbecauseit's
somethingIchoosetohave,andit'snotusual.Anyotherroute(whiteorasian)wouldhave
beeneasier.PLus,ithelpsthatIlikehim:).
4
Reply Share
lana>H2O2 17daysago
Itallcomesdowntomoney.Idonotfindwhitewomenasbeingattractive,whymustthegoal
betopairmenwithwhitewomaninalltvshowsandcommercials?Iwouldlovetoseemore
beautifulwomenofotherracesontvcommercialsandshowsontv.Allyouseeontviswhite
girlswithblackswhichtomeisboring.
1
Reply Share
vince amonthago
Greatread!!Yourresearchwasdonewell.Alsoreallylikehowyouhintatfetishizationofracestoo
becausethatisjustaswrongasracehating.Bothservetodehumanizepeople.Iwillsaythat
Sarchet'sovergeneralizationsofwhiteandblackwomen'sbodiesleftaREALLYbadtasteinmy
mouth.
Spellchecknexttimethough,somanytypos!
129
Reply Share
greg>vince amonthago
Thereseachwaswelldone?Bywhatstandards?
Theyseemstohavecherrypickedafewstatementsfromasmallnumberofinterviewsto
backupapreexistingnotionshehadabouttherebeinganunderlyingracisminattraction.
Ratherthanjustthemoreexplainablegeneticimperative.
Theideabonestructureandskincolourandotherphysicalattributes(aboutkahowpeople
look)isn'tafactorandit's"onyou"isludicrousasappearanceclearlyasignificantfactor.
Thefacttheremightbeaboutageneticimperativethattendstomakecertainmatchesmore
orlesslikelyisnotevenconsideredasafactor.
33
Reply Share
haploid>greg amonthago
Becausethegeneticimperativeistodiversify.Diversificationisthebasisonhowour
geneticswork,itiswhywepropagatesexuallyin.thefirstplace.Geneticrobustness
ismeasuredbytheabilityapopulationcanadapttostress,i.e.variationiskey.Thisis
whymixedracedindividualsarelesstargetableforgenetailoreddeseases,whileon
theotherendofthespectrum,inbredchildrenoftenhavedifficultyjustsurviving.The
preservationof'race'ispurelyasocio~culturalphenomenon.
21
Reply Share
PaulKishimoto>greg amonthago
Thefacttheremightbe
9/15
12/15/2014
preexistingnotion
Whereareyourcitations?
26
Reply Share
ChouKung>greg amonthago
Agreed.Itisfilledwithracistattitudes.WhydidhecallYokoOno'sspirit"exotic."It
wasinkeepingwithalotofavantgardeartatthetime.Factis,Ono'sspiritismore
like"richprincess,"asshecomesfromanextremelywealthyfamilyandcould(and
did)dowhatevershewanted.
16
Reply Share
TokyoMommy>ChouKung amonthago
Agreed!MostJapanesepeoplefindherextremelybizarre.
6
Reply Share
MynkaMirnoff>greg amonthago
Youdon'tknowthefirstthingaboutgenetics,doyou?
6
Reply Share
Scruggs>MynkaMirnoff amonthago
Ohmygod,withtheevolutionarybiology.Giveitarestalready,people.
DespiteLOTSofinterestinstudyingthis,wehavecompletelyfailedto
produceanyconvincingEmpiricalevidenceforsomesortofsignificantgenetic
imperativeinattractionorhumanreproduction.
4
Reply Share
FreedomMushaw>greg 25daysago
IactuallydidresearchonthistopicforpopulationandHdiTheinformationinthis
article(otherthantheindividualscommentingabouttheirpersonalrelationships)is
easilyfoundinmanybooks.Itwouldtakeinternationaleconomics,world
history,anthropology,Asiancultureandliteratureclasses,AfricanAmericanstudies,
AsianAmericanhistory,Law(someofthestuffcitedcamefromtheresultsoflaws)
andthetruedevelopmentoftheUnitedStates.
2
Reply Share
Guest>greg 25daysago
Umactuallysometimesitisracism.Whenyourfamilyorapersonseesaraceasa
typeofstatusitisnotbasedontheirfeatures.Whentheydisownyoubecauseyou
arewithaxpersonitisnotbecauseoffeaturesandwhenyoudoastheysayyouare
aidingthedevelopmentofit.WhenapersonsaystomeIdon'tdatesuchandsuch
becauseoftheirfeaturesitisdiscriminationorpickinesswhentheymentionstereo
typesorracialcharactermyths(hostile,eatsdogs,thieves,criminals,greasyhair,
monkeylikeorsmellsbad)that'sracism...Racismisbasedonbehaviorandraceit
canbediscriminationcombinedwithadisgustorhatredbasedonfalseorfactual
information
1
Reply Share
peepsie>Guest 24daysago
wait.soforsoneonetosaytheyareattractedtothesmallerwaist,curvier
hips,rounderbehind,andfullerlipsthatAfricanAmericanwomentend
statisticallytohaveisfetishization....
buttoNOTbeattractedtoitisracist??
talkaboutwtf.there'snowaytonotoffendyouthere...nomatterwho
someoneisattractedto,you'vefoundwaystomakeitevilanddisingenuous.
idobelievetbatracismcaninfluenceattractions,butidoalsobelievethat
peoplehavecharacteristicstheyareattractedtothstjustare.....anditsnot
somefaultoftheirbrainorthinking...iforonehaveaspecificsetoffeaturesi
gravatatetoward.always.
I'vewatchedmy14yroldandthegirlshewasdrawntoandmentilnedwere
prettyhisentirelofe.he'llhaveinterracialrelationships.it'swhathe'sdrawnto
andhasfoundprettyeversincehelayedeyesonthosetwoyroldchinese
twinsinthegasstationorthe1stgradeclassmatewiththe"beautifulbrown
skin,mama.likechocolateandherbigbrowneyeslikemine."
10/15
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he'sstillgotthefeatureshefindsattractiveandhassincehewasatoddler
ablwtovocalize"pretty."attwo,at7,at12,hewasn'tfetishizinganything.he
justknewwhat,inhiseyes,ispretty....
1
Reply Share
Kert>peepsie 24daysago
Idon'tthinkyouunderstoodwhattheywrote.Theyspecificallysaidthatbeing
attractedtoornotattractedtocertainfeaturesispersonalpreference.
Reply Share
juniper>vince amonthago
Agreed.Nicelydone.
1
Reply Share
disqus_g amonthago
Reverseracismisstillracism.Tiredofthesetypeofarticles.I'mfullAsianit'sdisgustinghow
hypocriticalminoritiesarewhenitcomestorace.
"They[whitegirls]donthavethecurves.Mostofthemarereallyskinny.Imnotreallyintoanorexic
girls."
Reverseracismatitsfinest.
I'magoodlookingAsianguybutwasthemostsociallyawkwardkidgrowingup.Butforsome
reasonAsianguyswantedtobemyfriendswhileAsiangirlslikedme.Changemyskincolortosay
blackorbrownbutkeepthepersonalityandinstantlythesepeoplewon'teventalktome.Just
saying...
SonowIexclusivelydatenonAsiangirlsbecauseIcanneverknowifAsiangirlslikemebecauseof
myskincolororforwhoIam.Thatdistrustwillalwaysbethere.Nodifferentfromablackgirl
questioningifawhiteguyjustlikeschocolate.SeewhatI'msaying.It'sanissueprevalentthroughout
allracessononeedtosingleoutwhitesjustbecausetheyhappenedtobehistoricallymore
dominant.It'shumannaturebirdsofthesamefeatherflocktogether.Birdsofdifferentfeathersare
strange.Onlytheadventuroustypedaretotrythemoutandfranklybirdsofadifferentfeather
seemore
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MannyJenkins>disqus_g amonthago
IthinkyouneedtoconsultyourlocalcommunitycollegepoliticalscienceprofessorbecauseI
thinkyoumayhavethewrong.Thetermracismisapoliticalconstructofsystematic
oppressionofanotherbasedonhisorherrace.Whathappensonthedatingismoreakinto
prejudicewhichhappenswitheverypreferencenotjustracethatapersonmayhave.
Mysisteralthough5feetherselfdoesn'tdateanyoneunder6feet.Peoplehaveveryfine
tunedpreferenceswhenitcomestodating.Sheshortpeoplepicketoutsideherhouse?
Socializationwillbetheonlywaytochangesomeone'smind.
102
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disqus_g>MannyJenkins amonthago
Ok,maybeIdon'tunderstandthewordracism.Basedonyourdefinition,Idon'tthink
racismagainstAsiansreallyexistsinAmericatoday.ButwhatIamtalkingaboutare
theracialprejudiceandstereotypes,whichiswhatmostminoritiescomplainabout
anyways.
12
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ScrumpDlicious>disqus_g amonthago
Ohmy.Yes,systematicracism,asafunctionofwhitesupremacy,doesexist
againstAsiansandAsianAmericansintheUnitedStates.Itexistswithina
largerframeworkofantiBlackracism,butitispresent.Justpayabitmore
attentionthosestereotypes,theracialprejudice,etc.,arestructuraland
symptomatic,againstAsiansandAsianAmericanstoo.
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RaoulDuke>ScrumpDlicious amonthago
Claimsof"whitesupremacy"arerisible.Whitesupremacistsarerareasthe
dodo.Usingthetermin2014isanexerciseofpropaganda.
1
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11/15
12/15/2014
pleasemakesense>disqus_g amonthago
Iam100%asian.Ifyoudon'tthinkracismtowardsasiansexistinamericayou
aresorelymisinformed.Pleasebringactualfactstothetablebeforetalkingas
ifyouknowsomething.Otherwisekeepyouropinionatedandmostlyuntrue
notationstoyourself.
115
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disqus_g>pleasemakesense amonthago
Nottotheextentthatyouthinkitdoes.MinoritiesincludingAsianshavea
tendencytofindracismwherethereisn't.
11
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FreedomMushaw>disqus_g 25daysago
Umactuallysometimesitisracism.Whenyourfamilyorapersonseesarace
asatypeofstatusitisnotbasedontheirfeatures.Whentheydisownyou
becauseyouarewithaxpersonitisnotbecauseoffeaturesandwhenyou
doastheysayyouareaidingthedevelopmentofit.Whenapersonsaysto
meIdon'tdatesuchandsuchbecauseoftheirfeaturesitisdiscriminationor
pickinesswhentheymentionstereotypesorracialcharactermyths(hostile,
eatsdogs,thieves,criminals,greasyhair,monkeylikeorsmellsbad)that's
racism...Racismisbasedonbehaviorandraceitcanbediscrimination
combinedwithadiscussedorhatredbasedonfalseorfactualinformation.It
willjustdependoneachindividualcircumstance.Iwishpeoplewouldstop
generalizingasiftherewerethesecheckmarksthathavetobedone.Some
peopledon'tdatebecausetheyareracistothersbecausetheyarepicky.
3
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Jbelmont>MannyJenkins amonthago
Andapoliticalscienceprofessorwillprobablytellyouracismisprejudice,
discrimination,andhatebasedonsomeone'srace.Thedefinitionyou'retalkingabout
isanunfalsifiable,andthereforeinherentlyinvalid,definitionthat'sonlyusedwithin
antisciencesociologycircles.
10
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SamuEL>Jbelmont amonthago
Puttingasideyourincorrectusageofthewordinvalid,yourantiquated,
communitycollegephilosophyofscienceclassneedstoemergefromthe
Popperiandarkagesandlearnthatfalsificationintheformyouaretryingto
useitisn'teventakenseriouslyasacriterionforestablishingvalidityof
scientificclaims,letalonetryingtoestablishtheinternalvalidityofadefinition.
3
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NikolayUspenskiy>MannyJenkins amonthago
andyoumaywanttoconsultadictionary...polisciisawasteoftime
http://www.oxforddictionaries....
3
Reply Share
bongo>MannyJenkins amonthago
racism
rsizm/
noun
thebeliefthatallmembersofeachracepossesscharacteristicsorabilitiesspecificto
thatrace,especiallysoastodistinguishitasinferiororsuperiortoanotherraceor
races.
prejudice,discrimination,orantagonismdirectedagainstsomeoneofadifferentrace
basedonthebeliefthatone'sownraceissuperior.
"aprogramtocombatracism"
synonyms:racialdiscrimination,racialism,racialprejudice,xenophobia,chauvinism,
bigotry,casteism
"AboriginesarethemainvictimsofracisminAustralia"
Whatyou'retalkingaboutisactuallyCulturalCriticism,aneoMarxistideologythat
seekstoredistributepowerandinfluence.Mostofthe"racism"envelopedbythis
definitioncan'tbedifferentiatedfromsimpleMarjoritarianism,whichisafacetofall
democraticsocieties.Asthedemographicsofthiscountrychange,sowillprevailing
attitudes,slowlyovertime,regardlessofexhortationsbythefringe.
Reply Share
RaoulDuke>MannyJenkins amonthago
12/15
12/15/2014
RaoulDuke>MannyJenkins amonthago
Theredefinitionof"racism"you'vegivenisarecentdevelopmentandwasdonefor
politicalreasons.Thejuniorcollegetypeslatchedontoitasafunctionmofpoliticsnot
intellectualoracademicreasons
Reply Share
Baakus>disqus_g amonthago
IagreethatthehalfAsianguy'sstatementsaboutthecurvinessofBlackgirlswere
misguided.
Butseriously,youthinkthatminoritiesareresponsibleforracismtoday?YouthinkthatAsian
girlsaretheonesbeingracistforlikingyou,soyouwanttoavoidthem?
Myinitialimpressionofyouisthatyou'retryingwaytoohardtonotbethat"ThatAsianGuy."
Justthinkaboutit:whydoyouthinkminorities"travelintheirownclusters/packs?"Doyou
thinktherearelegionsofWhitepeoplejustbeggingfortheseminoritiestojointheircircles,but
theseminoritiesarejustthumbingtheirnosesatthem?Haveyoueverbeentoafratparty?
Who'sselfsegregatingthere?Andifminoritiesabandonedtheirculturalgroups,doyou
honestlythinkthatthey'dbewelcomedastrueequalsinpredominantlyWhitecircles?
ThequestionisnotwhydominoritiessegregatesomuchthequestioniswhydoWhitesnot
acceptthemastrueequals.
Hey,I'manAsianguytooandIknowthevalueofreachingoutbeyondallAsiancircles,
especiallyinordertobreakstereotypes.ButIalsoknowthevalueofhavingAsianfriends
andtryingtodeveloptheanemicAsianAmericancultureintheU.S.today.
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AnthonyHuang>Baakus amonthago
Possiblymostintelligentcommentofall.
8
Reply Share
shirene>Baakus amonthago
Agree!Ilikebranchingout,butI"mnotditchingmyAsianclique.haha!Ithinkit'sfun
andit'satrueasianamericanexperiencetoalwayskeepagroupofAsianfriendsto
mockeachother'sasianess:P,eventhoughnoneofusspeakChinese/Korean/vietto
eachother.
2
Reply Share
T.G>disqus_g amonthago
@disqus
Itotallyagreewithyou.Reverseracismisstillracism.
IamanAsiantoo(SouthAsian)whoismarriedtoawhiteguyandIcouldnotbelievehow
racistsmyownpeoplewerewhenIwantedtomarryhim(notmyimmediatefamilybutfamily
friendsandrelativeswholikestoputtheirbuttinotherpeople'slife).Whitesgetdivorcedalot,
whitesareselfish,whitesdon'tcareabouttheirfamily,etcetc.Nowtheywillsayitsnot
racismbecauseifyouareaminoritywhoimmigratedtoWestthenyoucantberacist,you're
just"narrowminded".
I'mnotsayingracismdoesn'thappenfromwhitesanymore,yestherearestillsomeracist
whitesouttherebutracismoccursfromotherracestoo.
46
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Bordergeist>T.G amonthago
Theproblemisthatwhatyou'retalkingaboutisnotthemajorityof"racism".Racism
isn'tabouthowonepersonfeelsaboutoractstowardsanotherit'sprimarilyabout
systemicproblemsthatcausepeopleofoneracetobesignificantlydisadvantaged
comparedtoanother.AndthesimplefactisthatintheUS,whitepeopleare
unbelievablyprivilegedtheymakemoremoneyfordoingthesamejobs,theyfindit
muchmucheasiertogethomeandbusinessloans,theyaremorelikely(duetoopen,
directdiscriminationinthe50s70s)tohavegrownupincommunitieswithbetter
schoolsandothersupportservices,and,possiblymostimportantly,aretreatedfarfar
betterbytheUSjusticesystem.Untilthosefactschange,theUS(aswithbasicallyall
countries)isracist,andneedstobechanged.
27
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disqus_g>Bordergeist amonthago
AlotofwhatIsaycomesfromanAsianperspectiveIrealizethatotherraces
mayfacedifferentissueswhenitcomestoracism.
3
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Share
13/15
12/15/2014
3
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AnthonyHuang>disqus_g amonthago
Noitdoesnt.IamfullAsianandhavenoideawhatyouvebeenspwing.
Asianswouldnttalktoyouifyouwerentgoodlooking...okbuddyyoukeep
tellingyourselfthat.Youaredefinitelynotcomingfromanasianperspective.
Dontevenknowwhatperspectiveyourecomingfrom.
6
Reply Share
disqus_g>AnthonyHuang 25daysago
What?AsianstalktomebecauseI'mAsian.
Reply Share
disqus_g>T.G amonthago
Exactly,it'satwowaystreet.Thereareracistsapartofeveryrace.Ijustdon'tlikethe
hypocriticalattitudethatalotofminoritieshave.
19
Reply Share
eglantier>disqus_g amonthago
Peoplearereactingpoorlytoyourcommentsbecauseyouhaveinaccurately
conveyedyourargument,butIunderstandwhatyouhavebeentryingtosay
andIagreewithmuchofyourpoint:thatwhileracisminourcountryis
systematicallyoppressiveanddictatedbythemarginalizationofpeopleof
colorbywhitepeopleitdoesnotmeanminoritiesaren'tparticipatinginracism
also,towardswhitepeople,otherraces,andeventhemselves,whichis
internalizedracism.
28
Reply Share
Diddle>disqus_g amonthago
Butyoudidn'treallymakethatpoint.Whatinflamedmesomuchisthatyou
actuallysuggestthatwhitepeoplearelessracistandthatweactuallylivein
theopenmindedandfreesociety.Wedon't.That'sacon.BUT,Idoagree
withthespiritofyourcomment:prejudiceisnottheprovinceofwhitepeople.
7
Reply Share
disqus_g>Diddle 25daysago
Notnecessarilylessracist,butlessatcreatingracialtensionsandfurthering
racismintoday'sworld.
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Rules of Attraction - Why White Men Marry Asian Women and Asian Men Don't Marry White Women - Vesko Cholakov

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29 JUL RULES OF ATTRACTION: WHY WHITE MEN MARRY

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passion. I study journalism and

and finance. I'm fascinated by

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and technology and branch out

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