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The Ring Report TV Update 3/19/95 Vol. 1, No. 108

("Get it right -- it's Coors Light!" -- Hack Myers)
WARNING: This is the LARGEST Ring Report in the history of Ring
Reports. If long reports about House Shows and the like are not
your forte, please come back next week and try us again. Do not
read on because you'll be PO'd . . . seriously, do not read on!
Find something else to do -- go bake cookies or dig out your couch
change for the Chris Yetman Memorial couch change fund -- but don't
read on! You'll hate what you see -- lots of people having fun!
And *worse* lots of people who LOVE TO WRITE LONG REPORTS having
fun! You have been warned! -- The Management
WCW NEWS: [Note: This is being written at 1 PM on March 19,
before WCW Uncensored has taken place.] . . . The
DUSTIN RHODES/BLACKTOP BULLY match was pre-taped for WCW Uncensored.
WCW was worried about having a match which took place in the back of
a moving truck on live TV. The match, was or is, complete with a
hovering helicopter and the production was managed by MIKE GRAHAM.
Things got a little out of hand during the match, and Both Rhodes
and Bully began bleeding. WCW officials had a fit, and as of now,
Graham, Bully and Rhodes have all apparently been fired. If you saw
the match at all, it was probably edited. WCW Uncensored became
WCW Censored . . .
In other WCW news: things are in a apparent total state of
chaos in the WCW front office. There is a lot of bickering over the
direction of WCW and the booking. Things got so bad that RIC FLAIR
threatened to quit the promotion earlier this week. Flair is now
saying he will continue to mange, but he doesn't want to set
foot in the ring for WCW. Many WCW wrestlers are also unhappy
with the amount of attention which is being given to THAT HH GUY
. . . THE ROAD WARRIORS were supposed to be HH's ultimate surprise
for VADER. However, HAWK is booked in Japan and it will probably be
June before the Warriors come to WCW . . . GENE OKERLUND underwent a
kidney transplant . . .
WWF News: Rumors are running wild about who OWEN HART'S
mystery partner at WrestleMania will be. Rumored possibilities are:
YOKOZUNA, one of TED DIBIASE'S corporation most likely Tatanka, and
even BRET HART . . . The most interesting name to come up was CHRIS
BENNOIT, who the WWF has been interested in for quite some time.
Bennoit and Hart would be a world class tagteam with both men having
similar backgrounds. Another possibility, although highly unlikely,
is STEVE WILLIAMS . . . Apparently, there will not be a LEX
LUGER/TATANKA strap match at WrestleMania . . . IRS's shoulder
injury may force him into retirement . . . THE 123 KID will probably
be in RAZOR RAMON'S corner at WrestleMania, after the Kid and the
Roadie had an altercation. Ramon and Kid will be forming a tag
team after WrestleMania . . .
NWA NJ NEWS: DAN SEVERN, who has a belt with NWA written on it,
will apparently be in the upcoming Ultimate Fighting Championship on
April 7 . . .
USWA NEWS: The USWA will begin having subtitles while MISS
TEXAS is being interviewed. This is being done, in the hopes that
people will understand her better . . . <g>
New Zealand Heavyweight boxer James THUNDER has improved his chances
of a try at the World heavy weight Boxing title with a unanimous

points win over former Heavy weight Champion Trevor Berbich in

Minnesota, USA.
They were fighting for the Continental America's Title as
sanctioned by the lightly regarded World Boxing Commission.
This is a review of the NWA card (non-TV taping) held this last
Saturday, March 11, 1995, at the Sportatorium in Dallas, Texas. In
attendance were Jesse Money, Gary Pearce, Tom Hyatt, and myself.
- I see no sign of Torch Boy, so that leaves one dork I have to
deal with.
- Upcoming NWA house shows: Corsicana, TX, 3/24; Seagoville, TX,
4/14. There is also an upcoming date in Abilene, but I missed the
- The "attendance is improving-no it isn't" see-saw is back down.
Maybe 300 in the building, probably closer to 250.
- Next week will finally be a new TV taping.
1) Mike Davis v. "Ravishing" Ray Evans
Miss Charlotte has known Ray for years, and says he's a nice guy. He
sure as h3ll isn't a wrestler. I've never given negative stars
before. I don't believe in it. I have now. This was the worst thing
I've ever seen. Davis with the DDT (the only wrestling move of the
match), in 16:40.
- Brandon Baxter comes out (Nulty has been hyping this for me all
week). He re-iterates his challenge to Akbar, talking about how
Akbar used to be a great wrestler and manager, but the time for the
new has come. Akbar comes down to see what's going on. Baxter has
so much respect for Akbar that he's gone over to Iraq to get someone
who knows as much. At this point, a figure in headdress and robes
comes down the heel aisle, robes draped over and head down.
Baxter: "I'd like to introduce, from Baghdad, Iraq, Sgt. Snackbar!"
The robes are removed to reveal Dusty Wolfe as Doink, a huge cigar
in his mouth (borrowed from Akbar pre-card), and grin on his face.
Brandon proceeds to lead Doink through a wonderfully Akbaresque
Brandon: Listen and listen good, you stupid Americans. Sgt.
Snackbar, are you going to eat any more of those greasy American
hot dogs?
Doink: No.
Brandon: Are you going to dine on the finest caviar?
Doink: Yes.
Brandon: And are you going to bite the hand that feeds you?
Doink: No.

And a bunch more of Ak's favorite lines. Akbar is visibly

furious, and I guess from reactions after the show, it wasn't all
a work.
2) Sicilian Studs w/Brandon Baxter v. The Colossal Kongs
The Kongs are a last-minute replacement for High Voltage, who are
gone (thank God). The crowd cheers more for the Studs during this
one, basically because of what Brandon had just done to embarrass
Akbar. The match itself was brutally bad, and once again, because
we just have five matches on a non-TV taping, it gets dragged out.
Mussolini covers Awesome Kong after Baxter interferes at 17:40.
- First intermission.
3) Black Bart v. Killer Tim Brooks w/Skandor Akbar
Taped fist match, where the rules are: no pinfalls, when a man is
knocked down, he has a 10-count to get to his feet. Collar and
elbow, to the corner, Bart blocks a right hand, Brooks blocks
Bart's counter. Collar and elbow, to the corner, Brooks blocks a
right, Bart blocks Tim's counter. Collar and elbow, they exchange
right hands, Bart comes out on top, Brooks backs away into the
corner. Collar and elbow, side headlock by Brooks, elbow to the
head, arm bar. Akbar distracts referee James Beard, Brooks chokes
away. To the corner, Bart comes back with knees to Brooks's gut,
then goes after Akbar. While Bart's back is turned, Brooks jumps
him, lands some roundhouse rights. Bart goes down hard, knee drop
by Brooks, who then interrupts the referee's count at 5 to drop a
leg on Bart's head. Bart rolls out of the ring, Brooks follows.
Bart gets rammed to the ringside table twice, knocking it over and
sending everyone over there (Nulty, the timekeeper, and a
cameraman), scattering. Tim dumps the table on top of Bart, and
Bart is bleeding. Akbar comes over, hits Bart with his nightstick
twice while Brooks is distracting the referee. I think Akbar is so
worried about hurting someone (after Sam Houston got clobbered a few
weeks ago) that his stick shots look f^cking feeble. Yeah, that
couldn't kill a bug with a flyswatter.
Anyway, back in the right, Brooks lands some more punches, Bart's up
at the count of 6. Rakes his fingers in the cut, whip to the ropes,
jumping knee. Bart comes back with a series of right hands, tosses
Brooks into the ringpost, and Brooks juices as well. Bart chokes Tim
on the second rope, more right hands are thrown. Brooks chokes Bart
back, Akbar with another stick shot sends the offense back to the
heel. Whip to the ropes, they both take roundhouse right swings,
both connect. First man to his feet wins after both men are counted
down for the 10-count. Akbar distracts the referee, Brooks makes it
to his feet first. Bart comes up from behind him with the branding
iron, clobbers him. Brooks is down, the referee turns around, Bart
wins. The ending is formula, but the match was paced OK and brutal
enough to be believable. 9:00, Me: *3/4, Jesse: *1/4, Tom: *1/4,
Gary: **. Muta rating: Black Bart, 0.5; Tim Brooks, 0.4
4) Tony Norris v. John Hawk w/Skandor Akbar
For Hawk's North American title. There's a long delay, as the entire
song for Norris's entrance plays with no sign of him. Hawk comes out

first, gets into it with the crowd. They start Tony's entrance music
again, when he comes from the other side and swings his battle ax
at Hawk, John barely getting out of the way. Norris has a patch
over his eye, gauze pads secured with black tape. Hawk comes after
Norris with his bullrope, but Tony counters with a boot to the gut
and an enziguri. Hawk is lying in the corner, Tony is spinning on
top of him with a series of boots to the head that puts John out of
the ring. Norris goes after Akbar, so Hawk nails him from behind
with a forearm to the head. Back in the ring, Hawk digs at the
covered eye for awhile, then throws the clothesline from h3ll.
Stomps, more work on the eye. While Hawk argues with referee Beard,
Akbar hits Tony with the stick (again, this looks like sh!t). Hawk
chokes Norris down, then pulls off the eye covering, revealing
. . . well, a normal-looking eye. Hawk rakes the eye, drawing a
not-so-enthusiastic, "Oh, my eye. sh!t," from Tony. Head to the
buckles, then Norris gets choked on the top rope. Hawk distracts
the ref. while Tony is draped over the rope, Akbar jabs at Tony's
eye . . . but the wrong one. It's not Akbar's night. Whip to the
buckles, charge, Norris gets a boot up. Hawk gets to his feet
first, since Tony is still holding his eye, stomps, works on the
eye again. 5 minutes gone, 55 remaining. Whip to the ropes, Hawk
with a forearm to the gut. Whip again, Hawk tries a back body
drop, Tony counters with a DDT. Hawk continues on the eye, whip
to the buckles, charge, Tony hits Hawk with an awesome clothesline.
Tony goes after Hawk, but gets a tag rope jammed into his eye.
Forearm to the head, more to the back, gut-wrench into a powerbomb,
1-2 3/4. Tries to force Tony's shoulders down, 1-2. Whip to the
ropes, reversal by Norris, Hawk gets sidewalk slammed like a bitch.
Dragon sleeper into reverse DDT. Double-underhook powerbomb (like
Misawa uses). We are popping like crazy.
Norris asks us if we want another one. Duh! We get another one.
Akbar climbs on the apron, gets in the ring, hits Norris with the
nightstick, causing the DQ. Akbar and Hawk stomp on Tony for a bit,
but he won't stay down. Akbar gets a right hand, rolls out of the
ring. Hawk gets a series of rights and another DDT, gets kicked out.
Tony takes his curtain call. Good luck in Japan, and we'll see you
in a month. 10:18, Me: ****, Jesse: ****, Tom: ****, Gary: ***3/4
- Second intermission. Next week it will be Black Bart v. Dick
Murdock and John Hawk v. Greg Valentine (title v. belt)
5) Rod Price v. Sam Houston
Old-fashioned Texas Death match. Houston charges the ring, Price
meets him with rights, Houston fights back, elbows, whip to the
buckles. Rod's head meets the buckles, then the buckles on the
opposite corner. Price gets elbowed down to his knees, snap mare,
cover, 1-count. Side headlock by Houston, Price gets to the corner.
Price is whipped to the buckles, Houston charges, Rod lands a back
elbow. More elbows, head to the buckle. Price whips Sam to the
corner, charge, nobody home. Houston with the schoolboy rollup,
1-2-3. Price is up right away. It's time for a 30-second rest
period, they wait 25. Price with right hands, uppercuts, whip to
the ropes, back elbow, 1-2. Snap mare, reverse chin lock. Rights
to the temple, 1-2. More reverse chin lock. To feet, a
clothesline by Price takes Sam over the top rope. Houston's back is
rammed into the apron, then Rod picks him up on the apron, drapes
his back over the top rope, forearm to the chest. Rod chokes Sam

with his boot, and Houston falls to the Sportatorium floor (ugh, I
don't even like my shoes touching that floor). Rod goes out, tosses
Houston back in, fist drop, 1-2. Rod sits on Sam's chest, tries to
force his shoulders down. 1-2, 1-2, 1-2, 1-2, 1-2, 1-2. Finally,
Rod gives up, whips Sam to the ropes, stiff clothesline, 1-2 1/2.
Reverse chin lock forces Sam onto his back, 1-2. Houston gets to his
feet, elbows and rights his way out. Whip to the buckles, Price
reverses, charge, good body block. Cover, 1-2. Reverse chin lock.
Houston's shoulders are on the mat, 1-2, 1-2, 1-2, 1-2. Suplex by
Price, 1-2 1/2. Piledriver, 1-2, Sam's feet are in the ropes. Price
hooks the leg, 1-2, 1-2, 1-2. To their feet, Houston blocks a right
hand, one of his own, more drive Price to the corner. Sam goes for
the bulldog, Price holds him up, tries a belly-to-back. Sam flips
completely around, lands on his feet, lariat, 1-2-3. Price gets a
chain out of his trunks during the 30-second rest period, hits
Houston in the gut with it, kicks him in the head, cover, 1-2. More
shots to the gut, 1-2. More, 1-2. Chain to the gut, snap mare,
fist drop with the chain, 1-2-3. After 30 seconds, Houston gets up
at the count of 7. Price elbows Houston in the head, more shots to
the gut, snap mare, reverse chin lock with body scissors. Houston
battles out to his feet, Price hits him with the chain to the head,
1-2-3. Houston juices during the 30 seconds. Price breaks the
referee's count at 6, kicking Sam in the head. Fist drop, 1-2 1/2.
Houston gets a chain out of his tights, decks Price with it, 1-2-3.
Houston goes down during the rest period, Price is bleeding now as
well. After 30 seconds, Sam gets back to his feet during the count,
Price does not. Houston wins one of the lamest Texas Death matches
I've ever seen. With the exception of the chain being allowed, this
was just their normal old match. Nothing brutal, nothing
particularly interesting. Me: 1/2*, Jesse: *1/4, Tom: *, Gary: 3/4*
OVERALL: *. Yeah, Hawk/Norris was a high-spot fest, but other than
that, nothing interesting happened. The digs on Akbar were funny,
but most of them went right over the NWAMutants' heads, and even the
little kid behind me figured out right away that Dusty Wolfe wasn't
the WWF Doink.
- Afterward, drinking at the NWA Clubhouse, then on to my apartment,
where we continued on the beer until about 4:30. Dusty Wolfe has a
million stories from days in the WWF, working for Joe Blanchard, and
on the road with a million different promotions. We were watching
ECW Double Tables, and Dusty came in with a bunch of tales about
Johnny Grunge while they were in Europe. For those of you
Philly-types, ask Johnny about a Greek hooker and the resemblance to
"The Crying Game" . . . :o
Things started early today. Me and two of my friends arrive at the
Arena at 1:30p to pick up our tickets. We spent the rest of the time
before the event going see Demon Night at the $1.50 theater and
feasting on a gourmet Taco Bell lunch. We arrive at the Coliseum at
about 5:30. As we are walking from the parking lot I spot a huge
limousine pulling into the arena. I ran up to the limo to spot
Vader. Not much happened here thanks to hordes of security. After
that we continued the walk to the arena entrance. The local rock
radio station was broadcasting live from the Coliseum. Giving
ticket upgrades to those with a KBPI shirt on. We wait around until
6:30 at this time the doors open. We find our seats which were next
to the entrance way for the wrestlers. I could see Arn Anderson

hanging out in the back. We decide to go take a look at the WCW

merchandise stands. You could see that HH merchandise was selling
well, as was Sting. My friends bought a HH Bandanna, HH tear-away
shirt, another HH T-shirt, and one of those HH posing hand held
things. That totaled about $50.
We make our way back to our seats. On the way to our seats I notice
some fans walking around with "real looking" championship belts.
Where could I get those?? The ring announcer introduced Wildcat
Willie who did some ring stunts. Tonight's ring girls were brought
out and Wille bowed down to them. As we were waiting a spot someone
I know selling snow cones. So tonight we enjoy free snow cones!! At
this point the arena is half full. This means that the WCW drew
more than DOUBLE from the WWF show March 5th. The bell rings and
things get under way . . .
JOHNNY B. BADD vs. ARN ANDERSON (TV TITLE): Badd came in with a
good pop, which surprised me a little. It was a decent match with
Badd doing a lot of air born moves. During the match I found that
the ring girls were going to be standing next to me the entire
night so I was a little distracted. Arn Anderson won somehow . . .
I didn't see the ending because I was paying attention to the ring
ALEX WRIGHT vs. DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE: As Dallas made his way to the
ring me and my friends were leaning over the railing booing him at
the top of our lungs. Dallas looked at us and gave us a nice
version of the middle finger. Alex Wright came out to a nice pop
from the crowd. Alex didn't dance for us. Before the match began
there were a group of Dallas fans in the 3rd row from the ring.
Dallas grabbed the microphone and told us that he didn't need a
bunch of "fa**ots" cheering for him. Then he told an elderly woman
in the front row to kiss his @ss. The woman turned around and gave
Dallas a sight he didn't want to see. The fan next to the woman
raised her arm up in victory getting a huge pop from the crowd. A
"Grandma" chant started. Midway in to the match I started a USA!
USA! chant which drew a few chuckles from the crowd. I also was
yelling every German word I could think of. Alex pinned Dallas with
a cradle. After the match Dallas beat the crap out of Alex and left
him lying there.
DUSTIN RHODES vs. THE BLACKTOP BULLY: I was all for the Bully in
this one. All of my screaming was getting to me as I was beginning
to lose my voice. I am not much of a Dustin fan but he worked the
crowd very well. Both men put a good effort into this match. The
Bully came out on top. As Dustin made his way back to the locker
room area, he was going down the isle giving hi-fives etc. He
approached me and my friends. I was cheering for Dustin for a good
work effort. Then one of my friends yell "You and your dad are
both @ssholes!!" Dustin looked a little surprised. He quickly
walked back into the locker room area. I wasn't happy about my
friend saying that so I punched him in the stomach.
Heat made their way towards the ring they grabbed a pro-heat sign
and destroyed it. After S&S made their entrance they told the Heat
they were in for a "Denver @ss kicking". Sherri got into a argument
with some fans, she was jumping around so much that one of her
breasts popped out to the delight of some. At that point I HAD to
leave for a drink. My throat felt like it was going to fall out.

When I return the crowd was chanting "Sherry's a slut!" even all
the little kids were too! The Heat pulled of the victory.
INTERMISSION: Wildcat Willie and the ring girls gave away T-shirts
got the pop of the night. Both Savage and Sting knew how to work the
crowd very well. The match was very similar to the matches you would
see on TV. I believe that Sting pinned Big Bubba. After the match
Bubba and Avalanche got into an argument. They yelled and screamed
at each other for a while then hugged and made up.
the ring with decent pops. Vader grabbed the mic and yelled "Denver
Colorado, What time is it?!?" The match itself was a wild one.
Duggan and Vader fought in the crowd twice. Duggan used chairs,
ring posts, tables, guard rails an his attack on Vader. Both men
were being very rough with each other. During the match Vader was
working the crowd VERY well and gaining more crowd support. Duggan
would yell "Hooooo!" and the crowd would respond "Booooo!" after
both men finally took the match into the ring, the ref. was KO'D and
Duggan had Vader pinned. Vader came back to pin Duggan after the
ref. woke up.
Overall a very entertaining night. Now where are those sore throat
WHAT YOU MISSED: Things started with a recap of the JERRY
brawled to a double countout . . . comments from LT . . . comments
from STEVE MCMICHAEL . . . comments from BAM BAM BIGELOW and THE
CORPORATION . . . comments from ERNIE LADD . . . JEFF JARRETT came
out and agreed to give BARRY HORROWITZ a shot at the
InterContinental belt before WrestleMania then defeated Horrowitz
in a prelim. match . . . a look at Bret Hart ending Lawler's
attempt at winning a battle royale on WWF Superstars . . . BRET HART
lost to JERRY LAWLER by countout after interference from BULL NAKANO
. . . and things ended with Barry Horrowitz coming down to sign his
contract with Jarrett, only to be cross-faced chicken winged by BOB
BACKLUND -- who then SIGNED THE CONTRACT to face Jarrett . . .!
WHAT YOU MISSED: Highlights of BOB ARMSTRONG being buried under
THE GANGSTAS' flag opened the show . . . AL SNOW and UNABOM beat
ROLL EXPRESS . . . A look at highlights of BOO BRADLEY beating CHRIS
CANDIDO at Sunday Bloody Sunday . . . Highlights of last week's
match in which BILLY BLACK beat Boo Bradley for the SMW TV title
. . . Some very bizarre comments from Boo Bradley which ended with
Bradley telling us to remember to eat out peas . . . Billy Black
beat BRIAN LOGAN and then babbled something at JIM ROSS . . .
Highlights of the Gangstas/Heavenly Bodies match from Sunday Bloody
Sunday . . . Following the match, the Gangstas once again beat the
h3ll out of Bob Armstrong . . . Another look at Bob Armstrong being
buried under the Gangstas flag . . . JIM CORNETTE will manage Bob
Armstrong and TRACY SMOTHERS, and a mystery partner, against the
Gangstas . . . A look at THE DIRTY WHITE BOY being attacked and
injured by BUDDY LANDELL before his match with JERRY LAWLER at SBS
. . . This set up the angle in which BOBBY BLAZE beat JERRY LAWLER,

with Landell's help and then beat Landell, with DWB'S help . . .
An interview with Bobby Blaze . . . Comments from Buddy Landell
. . . The weekly interview with the Gangstas ended the show . . .
Sorry for keeping this waiting so long, but it's tough to file a
report with no computer access. Anyway, here goes, my first attempt
at an ECW house show report.
It's around 4:00 PM when I roll into the Mobil gas station on
Academy Road to pick up Mr. ECW, Tom Misnik. He is equipped with
frying pans and ready for the long haul. We depart soon and are on
the road for Jim Thorpe. The drive was actually less than two
hours, which surprised me (I guess the long journey last time can be
blamed on the bus).
At 5:45, we pull through the gates and park right next to my good
buddy (note: this is sarcasm), Rob Feinstein. Rob and some lackey
are unloading his super-high quality tapes to sell to unsuspecting
mutants. Tom and I head inside and we first find Bob Artese and John
"Jackie" Finnegan. Bob is pissed, we wonder why. We'll find out
Next we see Ed Zohn for a few minutes. He is busy with tickets,
but still finds time to chat with us briefly. What a guy. Anyway,
Hack Myers comes through the door next and some ring boy has a mark
mag for him to sign. I think it was a feature called "Introducing
Hack Myers" or something like that. It says he wants to fight Sabu,
which Hack has a good laugh about. Tommy Dreamer is seen next, and
he gives Mr. ECW the story about how he wanted to fight the Rangers'
Mark Messier once, but the "p*ssy" backed down. If you want more
details on this, talk to Tom.
The doors open at about 7 or 7:30, and we assume our position near
the curtain. I am assigned to be the official door watcher to
prevent unauthorized personnel from entering through the side door.
Neato. Mad Dog and Tim Walker have arrived by this time, and Mad
Dog is telling us the story of the Burger King from H3ll. It seems
this place is filled with Forest Gump type characters. Soon
afterward, Mike Morris, Paul Perdeus, and Rick Scaia show up and sit
with us. The mutant force is strong for the evening.
Picture time! Woman is in the ring, $5. Tom is the money handler
and Tim the very lucky photographer. We drool for a while at Woman,
then the show begins.
1. Raven vs. Hack Myers. Raven trips over the curtain as he makes
his way down the ramp. He is accompanied by Steve Richards. This is
Raven's in-ring debut, so it was interesting to see him. His
movements were similar to Undertaker (the way he took punches), but
he did some nice bumps and he moved quicker. Myers comes out with
his kicking and punching "Shaah!" routine, but it's not as effective
as usual. Raven does a nice plancha over the top on Hack outside.
When the action returns to the ring, Hack puts a sleeper on Raven,
but they take a nice tumble over the top to the floor. Hack even
does a figure-four! Hack Flair, he wants to be called now.
Richards tries to interfere but Hack does his corner-drop finisher
on him. By this time, Raven has loaded the boot. He kicks Hack
with it and applies a DDT for the pin. As Myers walks back to the
dressing room, he signals to us for beer. The fun has begun . . .

2. 911 vs. Johnny Hot Body & Tony Stetson. The Broad Street Bullies
come out and I mark out, screaming, "Go back to Coralluzzo!" I need
to be restrained. Ed is laughing. Next comes 911 and Paul E.
Dangerously. While Stetson is cornered by 911, Hot Body gets a
chair. He hits 911 with it eight times, but only drops him to his
knee. After about a minute of worthless chasing, the big guy
finally gets them both in the chokeslam for the pin. Referee Jim
Molano, who has still not recovered from the chokeslam at North
Catholic, hobbles back to the dressing room. The victim tonight will
be . . . Bob Artese. No wonder he was pissed off before the show.
He takes it twice, and the crowd chants "Bob Is Dead!"
3. Dean Malenko vs. Tazmaniac. Taz has a knee injury which really
held this one back. Dean worked on it the entire time, using some
nice mat holds which the crowd didn't appreciate (though it wasn't
as hostile as the following night with Dean vs. 2 Cold). When they
go outside, Taz throws tables and chairs at Malenko, who flees up
the aisle. When they return, Taz does a nice back suplex followed
by a Northern lights suplex, which is incredible considering his
knee injury. Taz goes up for the slam but falls under Dean's
weight (the knee gives out), for the pin. Dean and Jason continue to
beat on Taz after the match, and all of a sudden, behind me, I hear
"f^ck this sh!t!" It's Paul E. with 911. As soon as they hit the
ring, Jason & The Shooter have hit the showers. No chokeslams
4. Public Enemy vs. Ron Simmons & 2 Cold Scorpio. PE is over, but
Simmons isn't. It's usually the opposite at the spot shows. This
one goes all over the building. A great, great, great brawl.
Unfortunately, your only way of seeing this one is a Feinstein
handheld. Grunge juices in the opening minute courtesy of some
wicked chairshots. Frying pans, tables, chairs, soda cans, you name
it, it was used in this one. They even grabbed some fan's guitar
(a small one, but not as small as a ukulele), and bashed Scorpio
with it. The great thing about this was how the match was booked.
Rocco Rock was paired with Simmons, while Scorpio was with Grunge,
so the two best workers of the teams could show their stuff.
Scorpio did a nice powerbomb on Johnny for a two-count. Simmons hit
Rocco with a DDT for a two. Finally, as Scorpio and Grunge brawl at
ringside, Simmons climbs the top rope for a headbutt attempt. He
dives but Rocco grabs a chair laying near him and puts it in front
of his face. The "All-American" hits hard, 1-2-3, PE wins. Scorpio
hobbled back to the dressing room afterward. Looks like an ankle
injury. As he reaches the curtain, I'm pushed out of the way by two
pre-teen girls who scream at the top of their lungs, "Scorpio,
you're my favorite!" Ugh.
INTERMISSION. We see Tod Gordon helping Bob Artese out to his car.
Hack Myers, who already finished a cup of beer we gave him, gives us
money for a pitcher. In under five minutes, he's done and wants
more. Sheesh! So a second pitcher heads through the curtain.
Cactus Jack is in the ring for pictures next, and there are more
people in line for him than Woman earlier. Weird.
5. Cactus Jack vs. Sandman (falls-count-anywhere). Sandman attacks
Cactus before the bell with a chair. He hits him three times and the
fight heads to the outside. Cactus retaliates with a shot of his
own. They brawl into the crowd and over near us, where Sandman
piledrives Cactus through a table. Awesome! Back to the ring they

head, where Sandman suplexes Cactus into the ring from the outside.
He then throws him back out, and here we go again. Sandman bashes
Jack twice with a chair, only to be met by several super-stiff
forearm blows by Jack. When they return to the ring, Cactus hits a
legdrop, 1-2, kick-out. Chairshot to Sandman's back by Jack, but
before he gets any momentum, Sandman hits him with a low blow.
Sandman with a DDT on the chair, 1-2-1/2. He does his kneedrop
followed by a beautiful legdrop off the top rope. Back near us,
some kids are standing near the curtain. They won't buy Hack any
beer. He tells us, "The guy in the green hat, he don't like me. He
won't get me beer, I'm gonna take his hat. He can go f^ck himself."
Hack's the man! Back to the match. Outside the ring, Cactus rakes
a cheese grater across Sandman's face. Ouch! Mikey Whipwreck has
joined Cactus at ringside, and he is soon hip-tossed by Jack into
the Sandman. Cactus grabs a chair and does an elbow off the apron to
the floor, but only a 2-count. Sandman hits a knee to the stomach
followed by a shot to the groin. Sandman is pushed off the apron by
Cactus, who follows up with a sunset flip to the floor for the
1-2-3. Sandman grabs his cane and beats Cactus with it afterward.
Jack gets up and dumps Sandman over the top to the floor. Sandman
and Woman retreat. Cactus gets on the house mic and talks about how
he's not happy because he hasn't kicked Terry Funk's @ss yet.
Sandman shows up again only to get hit with a chair twice by Cactus.
Mikey even gets in a cane shot. Sandman retreats again.
6. Shane Douglas vs. Tommy Dreamer. My question: is this a T-shirt
title match? Tommy was wearing a black ECW shirt, not the con shirt.
A *HUGE* sign is in the crowd saying, "Franchise #1/Flair is Dead!"
This thing is incredibly huge. The crowd starts chanting "HH Sucks!"
but Shane grabs the mic and tells them to have respect for their
elders. The last time he saw a chrome dome like that was on Tales
From The Crypt. The match begins at last after much stalling,
including Shane and a mutant at ringside jawing. Collar-and-elbow,
back to the ropes, Shane gives a clean break. C&E again, Shane
gets behind Dreamer with a hammerlock, Dreamer takes over, to the
ropes they go. Another tie-up, Douglas gives a stiff chop but
Dreamer no-sells. C&E once again to the corner, Shane turns it
around and rips off Tommy's shirt. He hits a chop but another
no-sell. Dreamer hits a chop hard and throws Shane to the corner,
where he does the Flair flip only to be clotheslined on the apron by
Dreamer with the ripped shirt. When it gets back in the ring,
Dreamer applies an armbar but Douglas escapes. Dreamer gets a
hiplock takeover into another armbar. From out of nowhere Hack
Myers tells us, "Let's get it right: Coors Light!" OK, Hack ,
Douglas pushes Dreamer to the corner and delivers a series of knees
to the gut. He stomps on his face, then puts Tommy's leg on the
second rope only to drop his weight on it. Dreamer is hurting.
Shane drops his knee onto Tommy's knee. Douglas applies the
spinning toehold, but Tommy slaps him as he leans over. Shane
responds with more pressure. Tommy to the ropes and break. Douglas
stomps on his kidneys. Return to the spinning toehold. Shane then
gets a half-Boston crab on Dreamer. He releases after a minute,
then punches him in the head twice. Douglas with a scoop and a slam.
Douglas misses the kneedrop, Dreamer gets up and uses a wicked
back-suplex. Dreamer sets up Shane for a figure-four and goes
"Whoo!!" which gets a pop out of the crowd. Dreamer in control with
the move gets several 2-counts on the champion. Douglas gets to the
ropes and the hold is broken. Shane is thrown to the outside and

takes frying pan and cookie sheet shots. Back in the ring, Dreamer
misses an elbow while bounding off the ropes, Douglas uses a
front-facelock to gain control.
To their feet. Dreamer blocks a suplex and does one of his own.
Douglas comes back with a sleeper but the referee is knocked out by
Dreamer's swinging arms. Sandman charges the ring and blasts Shane
with the Singapore cane. Cactus runs in to chase Sandman away.
Dreamer gives a low blow to Shane, followed by a powerbomb. Douglas
grabs a chain from his tights, but Tommy steals it and nails him
with it. Ref. is up, 1-2-3, NEW WORLD CHAMPION, TOMMY DREAMER!! The
place goes nuts! But wait . . . the ref. sees the chain and orders
the match to continue. Another ref. bump. Douglas grabs the
Sandman's cane (he forgot to take it with him when he left), and
nails Dreamer with it. Ref. gets up, 1-2-3, but Dreamer's foot is
on the bottom rope. It's ignored, Douglas retains the belt.
OVERALL: A good show. We had one awesome match (PE vs. Simmons-2
Cold), one very good match (Cactus-Sandman), and some par for the
course stuff. But still an entertaining evening.
Tom and I wait until most of the wrestlers have left, not by choice
but because the sound truck was blocking my car. Dreamer comes by
and gives Tom more details about the Mark Messier incident. He says
Shane may have broken his ankle. Finally, Tom and I, following Ed
Zohn, head to the Turnpike for the drive home. We stop at a Roy
Rogers, where Tom and Ed are treated to watching me eat more food
than any three men could stomach. Soon after, it's back on the road
and I drop Tom off at about 1:30 AM. What an evening. They return
to Jim Thorpe on April 14, and I might just be headed that way.
Until then . . .
for the STEINER BROTHERS . . . Gene ran down the WCW Uncensored
lineup . . . DUSTIN RHODES defeated JAMES EARL WRIGHT . . . A look
back at JOHNNY B. BADD slugging ARN ANDERSON on WCW Saturday Night
lost to HARLEM HEAT . . . A replay of BOBBY EATON'S challenge to
"LORD" STEVEN REGAL on Saturday Night . . . THE PATRIOT pinned BOBBY
EATON in the main event . . .
WHAT YOU MISSED: RAZOR RAMON over MANTAR by countout . . . A
WrestleMania promo . . . JERRY LAWLER beat BRET HART by countout
with the help of BULL NAKANO . . . BAM BAM pinned BOB HOLLY . . .
WHAT YOU MISSED: A replay of MOM turning heel and squashing THE
SMOKIN' NUNS after their match last week . . . ADAM BOMB defeated
DADDY COOL . . . JACOB & ELI BLU beat WELL DUNN . . . Live Event
DQ after TATANKA interfered . . . MAN MOUNTAIN ROCK pinned THE
CHICK DONOVAN . . . WrestleMania press conference clips . . . SHAWN


. . . a BOB BACKLUND WrestleMania promo . . . BOB BACKLUND
chicken-winged MAJOR YATES . . . Fan Fest promo . . . WrestleMania
report . . . MANTAUR pinned BOB HAYES . . . Live event news . . .
ROCK, and KAMA . . .!
JACKIE . . . A promo for the NASTIES/HEAT Uncensored match . . . A
look at the BADD/ANDERSON feud . . . An interview with JOHNNY B.
BADD who had his old boxing trainer "Roc Finnigan" with him . . . AL
PHILLIPS jobbed for ARN ANDERSON, "Double A" & the Col. gave an
interview . . . Gene gave a final Uncensored Control Center . . .
court marshaled (he he), KIP ABEE . . . SGT. PITTMAN gave an
interview, telling Gene O to "get a haircut" . . . "LORD" STEVEN
REGAL (who's pompous ego is probably not all a work because I
actually encountered people like him during my two week stay in
England), took on BOBBY EATON but bailed out of the match halfway
through it. REGAL said that he wouldn't mind having EATON as a
partner after all, and the two shook hands forming some sort of
allegiance . . . VADER splattered TRACY BENTON all over the canvas.
After the match, NAVILLUS EVAD tried to save the poor prelim, but
got smacked by FLAIR and tossed into the "Lion's Den" for VADER.
EVAD received a power bomb, Vader bomb, and big splash off the top
before a livid NICK BOCKWINKLE and an equally upset BOBBY HEENAN
broke things up, as FLAIR was beginning to attack EVAD again. The
angle was actually pretty cool and especially convincing since even
Heenan (the heel color man), freaked out . . . The show resumed with
a look at the BIG BUBBA/STING match-up . . . FRANKIE LANCASTER lost
to ALEX WRIGHT . . . A promo for the BULLY/RHODES Uncensored match
. . . BLACKTOP BULLY beat LEROY HOWARD . . . A feature on the
SAVAGE/AVALANCHE saga . . . AVALANCHE destroyed two prelims, and
gave an interview with BIG BUBBA . . . A MENG/DUGGAN plug . . . MENG
over BARRY HOUSTON . . . A final VADER/HH GUY promo . . . JOHNNY B.
flipped PAUL ROMA for the winning pinfall . . . Another look at
S'NAVILLUS EVAD dilemma, including his trip to the hospital . . .
Things ended crazy with FLAIR & VADER storming out, sending Heenan
running, and crashing Tony & Gene's final comments. This brought out
WCW Commish NICK BOCKWINKLE again, who endured a heated argument
with FLAIR. The Commish said he couldn't do "anything about
tomorrow night", but told FLAIR he is "out of the picture" as far a
WCW is concerned. FLAIR responded by saying that he never ever
wants to come back to WCW again, but that "all h3ll will break lose
tomorrow night!" (Note: This program was actually interesting and
exciting for the first time in over a year! :) . . .
I gotta be honest folks, I am drained. I will, again, try to do my
best to describe what happened yesterday. I know I will not do it
justice but will try. I was not even going to do a report, but at
least 10 people at the Arena last night told me I had to. So if you
hate these reports, and are still reading, blame them. And if you
are still reading, and hate these reports, why haven't you hit "n"
I exported Iron Mikes results and will add to them where I can.

We had a major crowd at this show. I lost count at 33. I won't list
everyone because I don't want to leave anyone out. We had a h3lluva
tailgate party beforehand, as usual. All 5 of the Giraffe boys came
to the show, for the first time in lots of months. Dave, of the
Giraffe guys, and Eugie (the Giraffe), had decided to play a trick
on yours truly. They set up this cool plan where they would fight
with Wolverine Alex, who last month did the hilarious That HH
Guy\Beer Bath impression.
They set it up that they would fight with Alex, as a joke. When I
bit on it, and was trying to chill them out, they let me in it. So
the three of us are ripping on Al and the plan was, he and Eugie
would get so pissed, Eugie pulls out a gun and "shoots" him and Alex
and Dave would get shot and douse themselves in fake blood. And
*everyone* bit on it, except Rick Scaia who got lucky and asked me
if it was angle. I told him to shut up as it was classic stuff and
I did not want it to get ruined. So finally Gene pulls out the
(cap), gun and shoots Alex. Except the piece of junk doesn't work!
It was great trick anyway.
Vin, who was not in it, described it as follows:
"It was an absolute classic. The funniest f^cking thing in ECW
history. Other than Alex spilling beer on half the audience last
month. You are some sick f^cking people."
We partied some more and went over to get in line, 30 some strong.
We raised h3ll and had the usual good time, but I am just too d@mned
drained to write about it all today.
Some interesting highlights from the Lot.
*Paul Perdeus brought me a great book of pictures from the
Convention. I love ya brother.
*Sit down. Brian Socha BROUGHT BEER. He's Hardcore now.
*States there: Illinois, NY, PA, NJ, DC, VA, MA, MD, and OH.
A side note to my brother Eugie, my recorder which fell and was
probably broken, miraculously works again today!
While in line, Tommy Dreamer walked by and rubbed Vin's stomach for
luck. I asked Vin what it was like to have his stomach mean so much.
"Very disturbing" he says. "I'm very frightened."
Alex, the Killer of all beer, did another of his spastic moves and
hit my hand holding the beer, but I did not lose the handle like the
wuss last month.
At 6:25, Eugene got his money's worth.
Septic Tank comes up and tells that though he lives in Salem, NJ, he
did not go to the NWA show there because "it was not worth the
Vin asks when it gets good.
The house was packed. We have fun with all of our mutants. It was a

lot of fun.
Bob Artese tried to give away hats, but we got a lot of people to
throw them back. Finally, he gave up.
This was as rabid a crowd as I have seen in a long time.
Onto Iron Mike's post and my comments.
These are the quick and dirty results:
(1) Mikey Whipwreck def. Jason: surprisingly good match
It was pretty good indeed. Jason was OK, but Mikey was very good.
We do a great "Kick his @ss Mikey kick his @ss." Mikey was great.
He did a lot of cool, hot moves. He has gotten SO good in the last
year. Mikey get the pin with a flying FrankenRana off the top for
the pin. Killer Mikey chant.
Bob Artese tried to throw the hat out again. It's thrown back.
Joey Styles comes out. We do a deafening "Oh my God" chant. I see
Joel Gertner joining in. Joey trashes WCW as best I could hear. The
sound was low.
(2) (a) Ron Simmons (Who still really sucks but is working a little)
defeats Hack Myers
We mercilessly do a "you . . . really suck . . . you really suck
. . . you really suck . . . " chant to the Florida State war chant.
Hack was OK, and Ron was a little better than before, but . . . Ugh.
(b) Simmons badmouths on the mic and Paul E. & 911 come down to
the ring; 911 with two chokeslams on Ron
And life was good!
(c) the Young Dragons in street clothes come down to the ring
to help Ron who then demolishes them (Ron to 911: "It's not over
Yes it is. Please! :-) Eugie pops big for the angle. Don E. Allen
had on our con shirt.
(3) Generation X Match - Raven & Co vs. Tommy Dreamer
(a) Tommy Dreamer defeats Tony "Hitman" Stetson
We do a "he's Hardcore" chant.
(b) Tommy Dreamer defeats Johnny HotBody
(c) Tommy Dreamer defeats Steve Richards
All the guys were handcuffed to the ringpost and as Dreamer beat
one, the next guy got set free to fight him. While he was fighting
Richards, Terry Funk came out with bolt cutters and set Raven free.
He acted like he was still cuffed to the post.
(d) Raven Polo Flamingo defeats Dreamer who juices a bucket
and is left hanging, handcuffed from the second ring rope. It will be
interesting to see if this makes it to TV.

He attacked an unaware Dreamer pinning him easily. Raven juiced

Dreamer and went too deep. He was bleeding like a pig and needed, I
heard, 17 stitches to close the cut. We talked to Tommy after the
show, and he looked bad. He was feeling no pain. He's a really cool
(4) Two Cold Scorpio vs. Dean Malenko (w/Jason) TV title match.
Two Cold mails this one in with some assistance from Taz (in
street clothes), and becomes new TV Champ. Malenko pissed at Jason.
I agree with brother Mike. 2 Cold Scorpio took the TV Title from
Dean Malenko in an OK match. Scorpio seems to be in a daze to me
lately. He will wrestle Eddy Guerrero on 4\8.
We did a "Two Cold, N-G-O, Two Cold N-G-O" chant to Scorpio to the
tune of "Bingo was his name-o. There is symbolism.
(5) Strap Match: Axle Rotten defeats Ian Rotten in a Buckets o' Blood
match around the arena.
Axl Rotten beat Ian Rotten in a warped strap match, that's purpose
was to outshine what WCW will show tonight. It was violent and
psychotic. And they bled like pigs. Later they shot an angled
where Ian apologizes and wants to make up, then attacks Axl.
During the match, Ian asked "Who's the man." And Axl does the HH
legdrop and the boot to the face. Too funny.
Bob Artese throws the hat out, and a guy throws it back. Bob pulls
MONEY out of the hat. Too funny!
(6) Public Enemy defeat the Pitbulls (w/Jason) in another Buckets o'
Blood match around the arena.
The Public Enemy beat the Pit Bulls in a match to determine who
would be in the three way tag fight on 4\8. Rocco told me this
morning it was the most physically draining match he ever had. And I
believe it as it was incredibly brutal. Lots of blood too.
(7) (a) Scheduled Match: Sabu vs. Marty Jannetty but Jannetty no-showed
and Mikey Whipwreck comes in as a sub. Sabu defeats Mikey via
submission in a very good match
(b) Unscheduled Match: Sabu vs. The County a.k.a. 212 (w/ manager
The Giraffe and valet Darling Dave Scherer). No contest when 212 is
held back by his manager and valet while Sabu is held back by Paul
E. and 911. I just report them the way I see them. It will be
interesting to see if this makes it to TV.
Since people had NO IDEA what was going on, here is my recap. It
was wild, and crazy. Sabu was supposed to wrestle Marty Jannetty,
but Marty no showed. Tod Gordon announced that Sabu would get the
win, which of course Paul E. would not accept. So he sends 911 to
the back to find a wrestler to fight Sabu. We start chanting 212
for our buddy Big Vin, as that is his new nickname, and we start
pointing to him. Suddenly, the whole d@mned place is chanting 212
and Sabu gives Vin static. Ends up Mikey is brought down, and they
have a fantastic wrestling match, which Sabu wins by submission.
Afterwards, we start up a 212 chant and Sabu and Paul call Vin out.
And he goes down to the ring. Giraffe and I go down and pretend to

hold him back, and a freaking angle comes out of it! They call Vin
out and he crosses the barrier and doesn't back down. 911 and Taz
pull Sabu away. Paul is loving every minute of it, and all of a
sudden, Vin went from fan to worker. Sabu takes a swipe at Vin and
connects lightly. Vin is stone faced. The scary part about this
wasn't the angle itself, which I was not worried about. It was the
scary freaks on the floor who were urging Vin to get up there in the
I know it was because as ECW fans, they expected it was part of the
show, but it wasn't, at least it wasn't supposed to be. Sabu did
nick Vin when he crossed over the rail, and for a minute or so, it
was kind of a scary situation, more so for the lunatic fans, who were
WAY behind Vin, than anything else. He goes back to the bleachers
to a thunderous ovation and 212 chant. Tod comes out and they call
Vin, who is a BIG man, up to the ring. Tod presents him with hats
and shirts, when Sabu comes running out with 911. Vin, like a
seasoned pro throws the stuff in the air and tells Sabu to "Come
on." 911 holds him back and Vin walks back to the bleachers a hero,
to another thundering ovation and hero of the fans. After the
show, Tod and Paul talk to Vin and want him to work for the company.
I suggested to Tod that he is the perfect manager for the Public
Enemy for the upcoming three way match with them, Taz and Sabu, and
Benoit and Malenko for tag titles. On the America On-Line chat
with the Public Enemy this morning, I asked Rocco Rock about that
and he said he'd love to have Big Vinnie in his corner. Rocco also
tells me that some of us fans are as much an attraction as the
wrestlers, which I hear Big Ed agreeing to in the background. I
sure as h3ll ain't stealing ANY thunder from these hard working
guys, but I appreciate their words. Unbelievable.
(8) Sandman & Terry defeat Cactus Jack & Shane Douglas. Funk
pins Cactus after bringing a flaming branding iron to the ring, uses
it to brand Cactus's chest (while still aflame), and tries to
piledrive Cactus onto the branding iron (while still aflame). It
will be interesting to see if this makes it to TV.
In the main event, Terry Funk and The Sandman beat Shane Douglas
and Cactus Jack when Funk pinned Jack after he ground him in the
chest with a flaming branding iron. After that, he piledrove him
"on" the branding iron and got the pin. This was also a great,
wild match. To me, this show was the outer limit of how far I like
to see psychotic wrestling go. This was the most rabid card in quite
some time, and while I enjoyed it, I want to see them cut back on
the blood a little bit and let their very talented workers do more
in ring stuff. The building is so packed now (maybe the Observer
will say 900 even :-)) that when they go outside and brawl, I can
see a lawsuit in the making and I don't want that to happen.
The 4\8 card has the above two announced matches and is a must see
IMO. They will also be back on 4\15.
We talked to Tod afterward, Vin went in and met with Paul, and Steve
Richards invited us to the bar. My boys wanted to go home
(pussies), so my blood brother Eugie went two hours out of his way
to drive me home. The bar was a freak show man. The Tanks were
there, Sign Guy, Deliverance Boy, Slo Mo Boy, Hawaiian Boy (Who I
said "It didn't shock me to hear you were a postal worker" to)
Sluggo, Bowling Ball Boy, The Brown Nose, and of course, Stanley
who was shot down by ever woman in the place. Almost all of the


were there and pretty cool. Oh, and the Grateful Dead was in
and there were Deadhead freaks everywhere. They made wrestling
look GOOD. Arizona John went up to Sabu and asked if me and
looked familiar. he shook his head. John says they were the
holding the big guy back. Sabu says "You shouldn't have."

There was more, but I'm spent. That's it.

. . . A look at the BOBBY EATON/"LORD" STEVEN REGAL confrontation
. . . Steve Regal over JOEY MAGGS . . . Gene did a Control Center
. . . THE HARLEM HEAT over 2 jobbers . . . A look at THE STEINER
yelled at us . . . STEVE AUSTIN pinned MARCUS BAGWELL . . . Tony S.
talked with RANDY SAVAGE . . .
WHAT YOU MISSED: REGGIE B. FINE comes out and says he was
stabbed in the back by his former friend, SPELLBINDER . . .
SPELLBINDER faces BRIAN CHRISTOPHER while Reggie provides
commentary; Reggie distracts Spellbinder and Christopher rolls him
up for the win . . . flashback to a match between JERRY LAWLER and
AUSTIN IDOL in a steel cage . . . TOMMY RICH, DOUG GILBERT, and
GORGEOUS GEORGE III came out with BIG BUSINESS BROWN to talk about
PG-13; Gilbert said that in he past month, he has faced a lot of
adversity, and PG-13 did not know what that was like . . . GGIII
got into the ring with JC ICE (Jamie Dundee) and Rich jumped in,
then WOLFIE D., the Gilbert . . . clips from the round-robin
matches between Brian Christopher, BILL DUNDEE, and JERRY LAWLER;
the final match was Christopher losing to Dundee when Bill used a
bullwhip to the throat . . . Dundee came out to yell about
Christopher and their upcoming bullwhip match; he showed a clip of
himself vs. DUTCH MANTEL (SP?) from the past . . . DIAMOND MIKE
(manager), came out with JACK HAMMER and his new tag team, BIG
jobbed for Cyrus and Bones . . . MARCUS DUPE came out with David ?
to talk about the Memphis Pharaoh's, an arena football team . . .
David ? beat Jack Hammer by DQ when Cyrus and Bones joined in about
4 seconds into the match . . .
As the BROOKLYN BRAWLER entered the ring for his match, he teased
DOINK, who was being held back by a WWF referee . . . DUKE "THE
DUMPSTER" DROESE trashed the BROOKLYN BRAWLER with the corkscrew
elbow drop. DUKE celebrated with DINK afterwards . . . The
JACOB pinned FATU. A side note to this is that I finally figured out
how to tell the twins apart: JACOB has the lightning bolts tattoo on
his right arm and a head or something on his left arm, while ELI is
the opposite . . . Main Event: LEX LUGER was squashed by KING KONG
BUNDY when the Man Made in the USA failed at a bodyslam . . .
Intermission: I bought 2 packs of Action Packed WWF Trading Cards
(total: $10! It's a long story). Opened them up; the EXACT same
cards were in both packages! Boy, was I pi$$ed! . . . PORTUGUESE
MAN O' WAR ALDO MONTOYA was crushed by MANTAUR with a powerslam
. . . In a Women's Championship Match, Champion BULL NAKANO pinned
Challenger ALUNDRA BLAYZE while using the ropes for leverage. When
WWF official Dave Hebner came down to explain to referee Tim White

what had happened, BLAYZE rolled up NAKANO and Heb counted the
1-2-3. White insisted that BULL was still champ, and Heb was willing
to wrestle about it. This match never took place <sob> . . . THE
BUSHWHACKERS defeated WELL DUNN when TIMOTHY WELL was pinned by
BUTCH . . .
things started with an interview with THAT HH GUY . . . MARK STARR
jobbed for ALEX WRIGHT . . . a promo for that world famous karate
guy, MENG . . . a look at the flatbed truck which will be used in
the DUSTIN RHODES/BLACKTOP BULLY match at Uncensored . . . STEVE
AUSTIN returned to the main event with a win over TIM HORNOR. He
left with COL. ROB PARKER, who hovered by the dressing room during
this match . . . a promo for Uncensored with HH in a lot of steam
introducing his surprise -- "RENEGADE." You never saw Renegade's
face but I thought it was pathetic that was introducing someone
"bigger and stronger" than him to watch his back . . . a clip of
Rhodes and the Bully entering the 18 Wheeler . . . STARS 'N'
STRIPES over DICK SLATER & BUNKHOUSE BUCK; in the grand tradition
of these PPV pre-shows VADER came out and stole the show. He held
up JIMMY HART'S ripped ring jacket and declared that it was all
that was left of Hart . . . and things ended with an interview with
Why, I thought I was watching ECW tonight <G>. Well, I am not
going to get down to my opinions yet. So i will just explain the
Blacktop Bully vs. Dustin Rhodes in a
This was the most interesting match on the
greatest. It was mostly 10 minutes of guys
their balance. The end came when the Bully
and blew the horn for the victory.

King of the Rhodes match.

card. But not the
eating hay and losing
pushed Dustin of the cage

Jim Duggan vs. Meng in a Martial Arts Match. This had a guy
named Sonny Bono as a ref. He was a M Arts champion or something.
This was boring and obviously Meng won with a foot to the mush.
Johnny B Badd vs. Arn Anderson in a Boxer vs. Wrestler match.
Badd had a trainer with him. This was also scheduled in 10 three
minute rounds. This was pretty bad. It was made interesting at
the end though with a lot of interference on both parts. The trainer
interfered and put a bucket on Arn's head to help Badd get the win.
Randy Savage vs. Avalanche in a no gimmick match. This was good
considering what we had before it. But that is not saying much. The
interesting part came when a "women" jumped from the crowd and beat
the sh!t out of Savage; that women was Ric Flair in drag. Savage won
by DQ in what I thought was a no rules PPV.
Sting vs. Big Bubba Rogers in a no gimmick match. This was
actually a decent match. It had some pretty good stuff in it. I just
could not believe that Bubba pinned Sting. I found that really hard
to believe. Don't think I loved the match. It case you have not
realized I have trouble committing to enjoying a WCW match.
Harlem Heat vs. The Nasty Boys in a Texas Tornado Match. Not the
Texas Tornado match in which the loser must shot themselves in the

head (I know I'm sorry), but the other one. This may have been the
best match on the card "Uncensored wise" it had a lot of funny stuff
at the refreshment stands. It should have been much longer though.
The boys won.
It is important to note that the Renegade was unveiled and he
IS NOT the Warrior. And they were saying that Jimmy Hart was missing.
HH vs. Vader in a strap match. I won't go into details until my
follow up next week but will say it was crazy. Apparently everyone
forgot the straps were supposed to stay on. The ending was a disgrace
which had Flair being drug around the ring for the victory. Also there
was an appearance by the masked man. This ending completely erased
and good feelings I had for the this PPV. Flair was retired and he
was the one who lost the match? I am sorry but if WCW thinks we
are this stupid they have been smelling the Disney air for too long.
Tune in next week for another exciting edition of "The Slow Painful
Death of Chris Yetman" or "My WCW Uncensored Reactions" . . . :P
This week's WWF MNR was definitely one of the best ever. The
wrestlers were working well, the angles were planned and executed to
perfection. Everything went just as planned and it became a classic
show. Only one thing wasn't planned. As Vince and Cornette were
talking to the cameras a fan held up a sign. The sign said in bold,
clearly visible letters, "WCW SUCKS". For three or four seconds it
was in clear view until the camera operator blocked the sign with
Cornette's head.
I have watched wrestling for 10 years and cannot remember ever
seeing a anti-WCW sign at a WWF show. The reason was that only a
"hardcore" fan would think of making that kind of sign. The kids who
don't understand the behind the scenes competition just make "Bret
Rules" signs and leave it at that. Now up until recently the
"hardcore" fans wouldn't have made that sign because it wasn't
really true. It definitely wasn't true in comparison to the WWF.
Well times have changed and no amount of WCW propaganda can change
the minds of the fans. I expect WCW will plant people with "WWF
Sucks" signs at upcoming events. In true WCW style the people with
the signs will be in front of the barricades. Just like the "big"
WunderNazi fans who "mob" him at shows.
Well I'm sure by the time you are reading this you will have
just witnessed the no-blading, no-risk "Uncensored" WCW PPV. If you
had any sense you would have avoided the temptation to order. I am
in an interesting situation. I don't have to pay. But if I order it
will be saying "I like HH and the angles you promote." I'd like to
see the fans boo when HH appears. I want to see the look of
disappointment when Reo - Lord of the Jungle comes out when the fans
were expecting the Warrior. I want to see what WCW does about the
Rhodes match. If the rumors are true the match was taped recently
for the PPV and he bladed against orders. The reason is he wants to
be released from his contract to go to the WWF. Will they edit? Show
the match? Say one of them is injured or missed his flight? But I
won't order, I cannot support this wrestling. So it has actually
come to the point where I am not going to watch WCW even when I
don't have to pay for it.
Once again I am going to comment on a rumor. Shane Douglas, is
he in the WWF?? From what I heard the ECW Hotline said he was. Now I
read posts from people who have a tendency to be reliable that he
refused Vince's' offer. I'm sure that somewhere else in this Ring
Report the rumor has been addressed. If it is true then I'm in

support of Douglas. He deserves the money for the hard work he

displays in ECW. My understanding is he will still wrestle in ECW at
the Bingo Hall shows. It is likely I am wrong but I felt the need to
Next week . . . The official WrestleMania 11 predictions. The
results of the poll on who should be champion according to RSPW and
what the greatest match in history was according to RSPW. Voting will
close on Friday.
Until then I remind you to put a note on any post that contains
info on a TV show taping that hasn't appeared on TV yet. First line
should say that the post is a spoiler and contains info on whatever
show it is. Then the information should be written about 10 lines
down. People who want the info can scroll down and people who prefer
to wait to see it on TV can do exactly that.
March Madness is here, and Arizona is gone. Nothing new there.
But in the WWF they are turning their TV product around. Most of the
jobbers are gone, and the matches with jobbers are much better. It's
great, and makes viewing more worthwhile. Last Monday's Raw was
great, and I hope it is just a start of things to come.
The Backlund/JJ match may not take place Monday, because all
weekend they kept referring to it as a match "before WM". Never once
did they say this Monday, so the taped match that ends with run ins
by Hart and Ramon, maybe retaped, probably giving Backlund the title.
Still no clue on Owen Hart's partner at WM. Wish I could say the
same for what is going on in WCW. Although the Flair-Vader/HH
angles are getting better, there is nothing.
Today on Zone, Ross said a ML Baseball player is coming in to do
broadcasting. Does anyone have a clue to who it is? He also stated
two former football players are coming in as a tag team. Could it be
the Furneses, or Watts and Fortune?
The LT thing really is working, as for the first time in memory,
I've heard people talk about wrestling in public. I'm not joking. I
was out eating the other night and the next day walking into a
store, and in both cases I heard people talk about LT and his All
Pro Team. Good things I might add. Go ASU and UCLA! Thanks Weber
If we're to be honest, all the troubles of the wrestling world
can't be laid at the feet of That HH Guy. Wrestling was here before
him. It will be here after him. Long before there was HH, there were
other showmen in wrestling.
The problem with HH is the tag "immortal". He's been labeled as
invincible. All the greats of the sport over the last decade have
jobbed for the mighty HH. Roddy Piper, Andre the Giant, Rick Rude,
Curt Hennig, Ted DiBiase, Ric Flair, Randy Savage . . . at one point
or another all have taken a fall at the hands of HH. When HH has
fallen, it was so that he could run off to make another lousy
No, the problem with wrestling is not HH. The problem with HH
is HH.
A cure? that's a bit tougher. Even the diligent have been
giving HH the thumbs down lately. If it weren't for the miracle of
post-production "the ego that wouldn't die" would have, long ago.
If he's going to stay around, HH needs to shake things up a
bit. He needs to lose cleanly once in a while. His current feud with
Vader would be the perfect opportunity. No one expects Vader to win.
But no one believes that in an on-the-level contest that HH could

hope to beat Vader. So why not let him lose. No more invincibility.
No more immortality. Just a bigger-than-life guy who has to fight
and scrap just like everybody else.
Drop the "whatcha gonna do" garbage and pick up a new shtick.
Every interview has been nearly the same over the last ten years.
True, when he's tried to alter course it hasn't worked. Mainly
because he always goes to far and tries to act (he does not have a
penchant for acting). Steer away from the standard, keep the
intensity, keep the charisma, just alter the work (and the script),
a bit.
Finally, call up one those Hollywood film buddies and have them
cast him as a bad guy. If the film works, he adds dimension to his
persona without adversely altering his wrestling image. I would
advocate a heel turn in the ring, but his legion of eight year old
fans would be crying through every telecast. Then again, at least
then some of the WWFjr fans would seem interested.
Is it too late for a change? I really don't think so. Yes,
there are many of us who have been alienated by HH's general
pomposity. But if he really seems to be trying, I'd give him
another chance. Until then, if that time ever comes, HH is just
another jobber. Unfortunately, his job is to be the Immortal HH.
And what a week it was . . .
Most of you know that I currently hold the position of
Wrestling Board Leader on a major on-line service. Well, if you
don't already know, the sports area for that service has been in
negotiation with Extreme Championship Wrestling On-Line and I have
been working feverishly with both TOM MISNIK and ED ZOHN to sign
the deal and to go ahead with plans to bring the ECW to that
Last Sunday we followed up our announcement of live chats with
ECW wrestlers on that service with the same announcement of the
live chats over Pete Barlow's free Internet news e-mail service.
The next two days were a blur.
I literally spent Monday and Tuesday on my computer from 8 AM
until well into the afternoon both days trying to handle the e-mail
response from the announcement. I shudder to think what would have
happened if we made the announcement on the Internet! :o
Wednesday was spent trying to catch up on all the personal
e-mail from the past weekend, and then it hit me -- I didn't check
in with the Ring Report account.
Ryan Cunningham, if you're out there -- welcome home and NEVER
make me do that again! <g> Apparently we have the best fans on any
on-line newsletter in the world -- seriously. Your comments on the
"size" issue were greatly appreciated and while I'll probably never
have time to personally respond to everyone I want to say thanks.
We can't please all of you but on the "size" issue we will be
looking into ways to warn you when our next HUGE issue will come
Wednesday also made me realize that I'm going to have to make
changes to my e-mail setup now that I have all sorts of things
flooding my MADDOGJMF@aol.com account. From now on I ask that all
reports MUST go to the RINGREPORT@aol.com account or else I
probably won't FIND them in all the mail I get at this address in
order to print them. I've also setup an account just for my
personal mail which or for emergencies and "top priority" issues.
That account is MDOGMAIL@aol.com. Hopefully the flood of e-mail
will recede one of these days and I can get control of things, but
until then please respect my wishes and send the mail to the

appropriate accounts.
Thursday. Thursdays are horrible days. I realized that I had
a post-mid-term mid-term (or MID-TERM 2: the test from h3ll!), in
my Spanish class. Ignored e-mail for a day and tried to cram. Of
course Thursday is also the day we had confirmation that PUBLIC
ENEMY would be the first guest for our ECW ON-LINE Q&A Sessions and
I spent a good amount of time on-line getting the word out instead
of studying. Test went, well, how all tests go in that class. No
offense to anyone, but I see no purpose to a test where the major
portion was devoted to writing a job application cover sheet in
Spanish. Especially for a college in the middle of Central PA
where more people speak Pennsylvania Dutch than Spanish as their
native tongue.
Friday. Drove up to Jim Thorpe, PA, with freelance PWI
photographer Tim "the Terrible" Walker. Tim's a nice guy and he
actually drove us through the backroads without much of a fuss.
One of the most bizarre moments came when we were approaching Jim
Thorpe on a sparsely populated with houses. Out of nowhere we came
across a house with a huge sign advertising "Live Cage Dancin',"
which, of course, prompted me into my secret identity of
MADDOGGUMP ("Tim, we are going to see the nudie show if you cant
a-find the rasslin' show!"), a character I broke in and out of for
most of the weekend.
That led to a Burger King of intellectually challenged people
(Actual conversation I overheard while standing in line: "Sir, you
must order *two* burgers in order to get two toys." "But, ma'am,
alls I want is the toys!"), and Tim and I stared at our food in
order to avoid making eye contact with anyone in the place. Of
course, I was half tempted to announce to the place that Tim was a
big time PWI 'Rasslin' Photographer, but I wanted to get out of
there to make the show. But then again, we probably could have
scarfed some free food out of it . . .
This led to the Flagstaff bar. My mind is pretty fuzzy on
everything. All I know is that I made the idiotic decision to stay
at the table and hang out instead of helping Tim by taking money
for Polaroids he was taking of the crowd and Woman. It was my ONE
chance to meet Nancy Sullivan and I passed it up! Maybe it was
MADDOGGUMP coming out, but I'm now ashamed of myself.
Great time at the Flagstaff -- and I did find myself at
ringside at intermission taking money while Tim took Polaroids of
the crowd and Cactus Jack. Cactus was *very cool* with the fans
and made the day -- and probably the lives -- of some of the kids
who came into the ring to get a picture taken with him. Great guy.
After the Dreamer/Douglas main event I went over to get the
huge "Dick Flair Sucks" sign from the guys in the front row so I
could take it to Philly when all of a sudden Tommy Dreamer appears
and is looking me in the eye. He says that this is YOUR belt and
that all the other organizations can kiss ECW'S butt. I was in
shock, and happy as h3ll that he didn't see that I was holding that
huge sign for Douglas . . . :)
Got home from Jim Thorpe well after midnight and was out the
door again by 8 AM yesterday to get Tim and I to the American
Commonwealth Wrestling show at the University of Maryland Eastern
Shore Campus. We took Tim's car, but like the sadist I am, I
decided I'd do ALL the driving this weekend. Remind me to take a
break one of these days -- my hair is turning gray again because I
forget to do things like, oh, listen to COMMON SENSE and get some
sleep before over committing myself to 4 hour drives . . .
Beautiful day, great card, and had a fun time hanging out with
Rob Hoffman and the mighty Dark Cheetah. Unfortunately, I left my

notebook in the back of Tim's car so you'll get my show report next
week. Don't worry, I was in a daze so it'll be basic results.
Again, it was a pity that the crowd was so small because the guys
worked their butts off and gave *everyone* a great time.
That show led to the LOOOONG drive up to Philly. Tim and I
took two of the ECW guys up to Philly with us and got to the arena
at 6:45 or so only to find that the parking lot was totally filled
and the lines went on for THREE BLOCKS from the arena.
Immediately found out that the laptop I had hoped to borrow
for the ECW On-Line Q&A with Public Enemy would not be available.
What does this mean? Well, after being on the road for a good 7
hours that day, I'd have to end the day by going BACK home (2 hour
trip), that night.
The card made up for it and I didn't even get to heckle Marty
Jannetty to annoy the little girls in the crowd (at the Flagstaff
show one of the Shannettes went on and on about Marty so whenever
we saw her we'd all do falsetto "Marty! Marty!" Chants), as Marty
did what Marty does best and no-showed. This led to us trying to
restrain 212 from getting in the ring with Sabu, but everything
turned out okay.
Somewhere along the line Public Enemy and the Pitbulls brawled
near me and I looked down to find the huge DICK FLAIR SUCKS sign
from Jim Thorpe in pieces and covered in blood. While I HAD
promised to take it back to the guys in Jim Thorpe who made it, I
wasn't touching it after that. Call me squeamish, but blood isn't
my forte.
After the card I was so incredibly tired that I didn't realize
I was driving home until oh, somewhere outside of Philly. Then I
only became aware of the fact that I was 90 MPH oh, about five
seconds away from our exit. Life gets weird when you've been on the
road all day . . .
Got home and actually found myself walking to my computer room
in order to log on and check my e-mail. It was well after 2 AM and
I had been on the road all day, and for some stupid reason instinct
took me to the computer room. Oh man, I need help or a life but I
will admit that for once I stopped myself and went to bed. The
last thing I need is to log on and FALL ASLEEP at the keyboard,
only to be billed for all that time on line . . .
This morning I woke up at 8 AM and basically answered e-mail
until our 10 AM chat session with Public Enemy in the first ECW
On-Line Q&A session. It went well and I was TOTALLY surprised at
how responsive and friendly Ted Petty of Public Enemy turned out to
be (Johnny didn't talk much as he was pretty much out of it from
the match with the Pitbulls Saturday night). They're nice guys and
I'm glad that we had them on-line for our first session and I'm
eternally in their debt for getting up so early especially AFTER
the brutal match they had with the Pitbulls.
Thanks go out to everyone involved in ECW On-Line and to the
fans who came to ask questions, and an even bigger thanks goes out
to DAVE SCHERER who came through for everyone when technical
difficulties threatened to cancel the Q&A session. Dave, I owe you
a case of Molson Ice beer, but you KNEW that . . .
And now, here I am, it's 11:10 PM and while I promised
everyone I'd get some sleep and delay the Ring Report until Monday
morning, here I am putting the finishing touches on another issue.
I've got to get a clue one of these days -- sleep is the top
priority -- then work! Well, maybe after I add that WCW Uncensored
report and go spellcheck and reformat this and . . .

MADDOGJMF & Company!

DENNIS MILLER, NEWS, ECW & SMW Reporter: 73633,1651 on CSERVE
"CRUNGE" CRAIG UTLEY, USWA Reporter: cdutley@iglou.com
CHRIS YETMAN, WWF SPOTLIGHT Reporter: Chryetman@aol.com
DAVID TAUB, WCW ON PRIME Reporter: g-man@bbs.tsoft.net
DAVE SCHERER as the Beaver!
JESS MCGRATH as "the New Jersey Butthead" and partner to Beavis!

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