Running head: Final Paper: Communication Skills

The Study of Communication Skills

Tonja Johnson
COM 321: Communication Theory
Instructor: Duvan Arsola
January 27, 2014

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Communication Skills

In my paper, I will be discussing communication skills, why it is important to study, and the
proper use these skills. I plan to assess my concept of self and my communication skill, strengths
and weaknesses, challenges, as well as opportunities for growth. Communication is a very
important skill and is very relevant in everyday life, which motivates me to take part in the
studies. Communication is important in every relationship whether it be personal, business or
intimate.
The term interpersonal communication, however, is generally reserved for two-person, face-toface interaction and is often used interchangeably with the term dyadic communication.
Compared to other forms of communication, dyadic communication has several unique
characteristics. It is direct, personal, immediate, spontaneous, and informal. (Trenholm, 2008,
pg. 134). I think that studying communication is something that everyone should take part.
Communication is a way of conveying messages from one person to another. When you think
about it, communication has been in our existence since the day we were born. When mothers
give birth to their children, there is usually eye contact, talking, holding of the hands or fingers,
and even kissing on the forehead. Communication can be in the form of talking, use of body
language and even listening. Listening is one of the most important aspects of effective
communication. Successful listening means not just understanding the words or the information
being communicated, but also understanding how the speaker feels about what they are
communicating. (Robinson, Segal, 2013, para. 4). I cannot begin to imagine what the world
would be like without communication. Without communication, there would probably be a lot of
confusion and misunderstandings amongst people. According to Trenholm, 2008,

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No society has existed, or ever could exist, without a well-ordered system of

communication, and no individual could survive for long without knowing how that
system operates. Without the ability to communicate, we could not form relationships
with others, nor could we understand the world around us, for it is in the constant
interplay between communications and experience that our world is shaped. (pg. 1)
According to Millar, 2013:
As simple as communication seems, a lot of what we try to say to others and what they
try to say to us gets misunderstood. Often this causes frustration, conflict and distance in
our relationships, both personal and professional. But good and effective communication
is essential to the working and cohesiveness of any team, group or partnership.
I agree that most times people misinterpret what we are trying to say simply because of the way
they take in the message. Trenholm, (2008), states communication is most successful when
individuals are of the same mind, when the meanings they assign to messages are similar or
identical. Also, communication is unsuccessful whenever the meanings intended by the source
differ from the meanings interpreted by the receiver. In order for communication to be
effective, one must be able to deliver the message well and one must be able to listen in order to
receive the message. For example, we elect officials in our towns. They serve as communicators
or speakers to us. Whenever something serious and very important happens within our
communities, we lean to them for answers. It is up to them to inform us on what is going on. I
think that communicators today should be very confident and compassionate and have much
knowledge about whatever it is that they are delivering. A person should be knowledgeable
about what they are thinking before they convey it in a message. I think that if what goes through
a persons head is conveyed in a message correctly, one may receive positive feedback. If the

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message were conveyed incorrectly, you would probably end up with negative feedback due to
miscommunication. This is known as the psychological perspective. (Trenholm, 2008, pg 25).
According to our text, Aristotle believed that a speaker could sway the audience in three
different ways. Ethos, which is through personal character, pathos, which is through the ability
to arouse emotions, and lastly, through the wording and the logic of the message, which is
logos. (Trenholm, 2008, pg. 5).
Communication is very important. However, what is also important is the language used when
communicating. Trenholm, 2008, states, There are many kinds of languages. Spoken
language, which may also be called natural language, is the most commonly used. (pg 68).
What better way to express yourself, than with words. In addition, it seems that in this day, and
age, people communicate more via computer. Most times people feel more comfortable this way
because they have low self-esteem about their physical appearance.
Today in society, stereotyping has become such a common thing. I do think that it enters my
judgment process. Many people are stereotyped simply because of how they look and dress.
According to ABC News, 2006, Psychologists say we categorize or stereotype by age and race
and gender, because our brains are wired to do so automatically. (para. 1). Personally, I do not
think that I have a relatively stable set of constructs about people all the time. I may say
something about someone but cannot produce the evidence to show cause to why I feel that way
about him or her. I do believe my constructs vary widely depending on whom it is that I am
judging. If it is, a person that I do not care for much, my opinions of them will probably be allnegative. I believe that I have some good characteristics such as being elegant, friendly
forgiving, beautiful and trustworthy. My opinion is that if we as people take out the time to
communicate and get to know one another rather than make assumptions from what someone

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else says or believes, we can look beyond stereotypes. Just because one person forms, an opinion
about someone does not mean you should. Sometimes we share the same values as other. Does
that mean that we should be stereotyped? Values may be defined as a person's principles or
standards of behavior or even one's judgment of what is important in life. Sometimes what we
see in others, they do not see in themselves. Communication is an important factor that governs
our everyday lives. It can sometimes be misinterpreted. It is important that we are
communicating at the level of constructs. People are encouraged to develop rich and complex
personal constructs in order to better understand one another.
Communication, as I said earlier, is important in every relationship. Not communicating can
cause many problems in our everyday relationships, whether it is in the community, on our jobs
or with our families. Our communication skills differ depending on the persons you are
communicating with. For example, when I first meet a stranger, I do not talk as much or act my
normal self, how I would act with people I know and people that I am use to talking to. I guess I
can say that I do have a personal space bubble. I never give out to much personal information
about my family and me. Usually, I have to get to know you before I can really hold deep
conversations with you. When I get to know a person and find something in common, I feel a
little more comfortable and I am able to communicate better and usually can hold a pretty
descent conversation. When I become real good friends with a person, I feel like the
communication deepens more. When you are intimate with someone, communication becomes
necessary. You are likely to share your most, deepest feelings about things. When you are in an
intimate relationship, you can talk about things that you cannot talk about with anyone else. That
is what makes the relationship so special. I feel like I am territorial when it comes to my mate.
Whenever we are out and another female gets too close, I usually grab him to let her know that

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he is indeed taken. In order to maintain a healthy relationship, we have to express our feelings
with words and talk things out. A relationship will not last long without proper communication,
both verbally and nonverbally.
Understanding communication gives me insight on how to hold conversation with my
coworkers, parents as well as my students as a Teacher. Therefore, it is very important to me.
Communication is important in every relationship whether it be personal, business or intimate.
Understanding communication benefits me greatly in my personal and professional life. Without
communication at home, there would probably be many problems in my relationship with my
male friend as well as my children. Without communication in my professional life, there would
probably be mess, confusion, and a lot of negative energy. Although we communicate every
day, we are not always effective. Communication is a complex process, made even more
complex by the challenges of new technologies. (Sarah Trenholm, 2008, para. 1, Thinking
Through Communication for Ashford University. Pearson Learning Solutions, Bookshelf.)
In conclusion, Communication is indeed a very important skill and is very relevant in everyday
life. Being a good communicator will help us all become successful in life. I do not think that
there is anyone out there with perfect communication skills; however, I think that my overall
communication skills are fine. Some of my strengths are, whenever I am in conversations with
others, I try to equalize my participation in the conversation. In addition, when I have a negative
opinion or comment, I lead in with a positive comment first. Weaknesses that I have found when
communicating is I usually avoid starting the conversations and lack of eye contact. I think that I
need to start initiating conversations more and I have to get better with looking at people while
we are talking.

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References:
Kendall, K., Stossel, J. (2006). abc news: The Psychology of Stereotypes
http://abcnews.go.com/2020/story?id=2442521
Millar, G. (2013). The art of communication. Training Journal, 20-23. Retrieved from
http://search.proquest.com/docview/1469703964?accountid=32521
Trenholm, S. (2008) Thinking through communication: An introduction to the study of human
communication (6th ed.). Boston: Pearson Education
Segal, J., Robinson, L. (2013) Effective communication; Improving Communication Skills in
Business and Relationships
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/effective_communication_skills.htm