Unit2

RELATIONSHIPBELIEFSINVENTORY
Thestatementsbelowdescribewaysinwhichapersonmightfeelaboutarelationship
withanotherperson.Pleasemarkthespacenexttoeachstatementaccordingtohow
strongly
youbelievethatitistrueorfalseforyou.Pleasemarkeveryone.Writein5,4,3,2,or1,
tostandforthefollowinganswers:
5:Istronglybelievethatthestatementistrue.
4:Ibelievethatthestatementistrue.
3:Ibelievethatthestatementisprobablytrue,ormoretruethanfalse.
2:Ibelievethatthestatementisfalse.
1:Istronglybelievethatthestatementisfalse.
_____1.Ifyourpartnerexpressesdisagreementwithyourideas,s/heprobablydoesnotthink
highlyofyou.
_____2.Idonotexpectmypartnertosenseallmymoods.
_____3.Damagesdoneearlyinarelationshipprobablycannotbereversed.
_____4.IgetupsetifIthinkIhavenotcompletelysatisfiedmypartnersexually.
_____5.Menandwomenhavethesamebasicemotionalneeds.
_____6.Icannotacceptitwhenmypartnerdisagreeswithme.
_____7.IfIhavetotellmypartnerthatsomethingisimportanttome,itdoesnotmeans/he
isinsensitivetome.
_____8.Mypartnerdoesnotseemcapableofbehavingotherthans/hedoesnow.
_____9.IfImnotinthemoodforsexwhenmypartneris,Idontgetupsetaboutit.
_____10.Misunderstandingsbetweenpartnersgenerallyareduetoinborndifferencesin
psychologicalmakeupsofmenandwomen.
_____11.Itakeitasapersonalinsultwhenmypartnerdisagreeswithanimportantideaof
mine.
_____12.IgetveryupsetifmypartnerdoesnotrecognizehowIamfeelingandIhaveto
tellhim/her.
_____13.Apartnercanlearntobecomemoreresponsivetohis/herpartnersneeds.

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_____14.Agoodsexualpartnercangethimself/herselfarousedforsexwhenevernecessary.
_____15.Menandwomenprobablywillneverunderstandtheoppositesexverywell.
_____16.Ilikeitwhenmypartnerpresentsviewsdifferentfrommine.
_____17.Peoplewhohaveacloserelationshipcansenseeachothersneedsasiftheycould
readeachothersminds.
_____18.Justbecausemypartnershasactedinwaysthatupsetmedoesnotmeanthats/he
willdosointhefuture.
_____19.IfIcannotperformwellsexuallyeverytimemypartnerisinthemood,Iwould
considerthatIhaveaproblem.
_____20.Menandwomenneedthesamebasicthingsoutofarelationship.
_____21.IgetveryupsetwhenmypartnerandIcannotseethingsthesameway.
_____22.Itisimportanttomeformypartnertoanticipatemyneedsbysensingchangesin
mymoods.
_____23.Apartnerwhohurtsyoubadlyonceprobablywillhurtyouagain.
_____24.IcanfeelOKaboutmylovemakingevenifmypartnerdoesnotachieveorgasm.
_____25.Biologicaldifferencesbetweenmenandwomenarenotmajorcausesofcouples
problems.
_____26.Icannottolerateitwhenmypartnerargueswithme.
_____27.Apartnershouldknowwhatyouarethinkingorfeelingwithoutyouhavingtotell.
_____28.Ifmypartnerwantstochange,Ibelievethats/hecandoit.
_____29.Ifmysexualpartnerdoesnotgetsatisfiedcompletely,itdoesnotmeanthatIhave
failed.
_____30.Oneofthemajorcausesofmaritalproblemsisthatmenandwomenhavedifferent
emotionalneeds.
_____31.WhenmypartnerandIdisagree,Ifeellikeourrelationshipisfallingapart.

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_____32.Peoplewholoveeachotherknowexactlywhateachothersthoughtsarewithouta
wordeverbeingsaid.
_____33.Ifyoudonotlikethewayarelationshipisgoing,youcanmakeitbetter.
_____34.Somedifficultiesinmysexualperformancedonotmeanpersonalfailuretome.
_____35.Youcantreallyunderstandsomeoneoftheoppositesex.
_____36.Idonotdoubtmypartnersfeelingsformewhenweargue.
_____37.Ifyouhavetoaskyourpartnerforsomething,itshowsthats/hewasnottuned
intoyourneeds.
_____38.Idonotexpectmypartnertobeabletochange.
_____39.WhenIdonotseemtobeperformingwellsexually,Igetupset.
_____40.Menandwomenwillalwaysbemysteriestoeachother.

Unit2
RBIScaleScoringInstructions
1) Reversescoretheappropriateitems(markedwithR)sothat1=5,2=4,3=3,4
=2,and5=1.
2) Sumthescoresforeachsubscale.
3) Divideeachsumbythenumberofitemsonthatsubscale.
DisagreementisDestructive:1,6,11,16R,21,26,31,36R
MindreadingisExpected:2R,7R,12,17,22,27,32,37
PartnersCannotChange:3,8,13R,18R,23,28R,33R,38
SexualPerfectionism:4,9R,14,19,24R,29R,34R,39
SexesAreDifferent:5R,10,15,20R,25R,30,35,40
Note:Thisisnotaclinicalscale,sotherearenocutoffs;accordingtotheanchorsonthe
scale,however,ifanyofyoursubscalescoresareabove3,thenyoudohavesome
irrationalbeliefsaboutrelationships.