Leah Davies M.Ed.

Author, Kelly Bear Resources, Past Instructor, Auburn University, teacher, counselor, mental
health professional
Since the list is so short, I decided to post the first five ideas here:
Obey their demands. Give in to their tantrums. Deny them nothing. If they want it, indulge
them. Make sure they know you will always be there to get them out of trouble. If they break
a toy or wreck a car, replace it.
Overlook, defend, or rescue them from the consequences of their negative behavior. Accept
their excuses or blame others by saying things such as, "My child would never do that!", "It
can't be her fault; it must be the school's fault!", or "The other child made him do it."
Disregard moral principles. Be dishonest. Involve your children in lying or cheating others
and taking pleasure in the misfortune of others. Encourage insecurity by telling them to
keep secrets from other family members or family secrets from others.
Avoid touching, hugging, and taking time to interact with your children. Deny the existence
of their emotional and social needs. Discourage them from expressing feelings and isolate
them from friends, organizations, and activities. Disregard their physical needs.
Ignore their worthwhile and constructive habits. Avoid complimenting or praising their
efforts. When they have done something well, make fun of it. Belittle their ideas, interests,
and accomplishments. Dwell on their weaknesses. Expect them to fail. Express hopelessness
in their ability to succeed or to cope positively with life's stresses

ABC-UL PARINTELUI

The ABC's of Parenting

By Leah Davies, M.Ed.

A.

Accept and value yourself and your child.

B.

Be consistent, honest, fair, and firm as you relate to your child.

C.

Concentrate on what you like about your child and comment on it.

D.

Develop interests of your own.

E.

Encourage your child to discuss ideas and goals, expressing the belief that he or she can do many things well.

F.

Forgive your child's mistakes, which are a natural part of learning.

G.

Gladly share your time, affection, and support.

H.

Help your child feel safe and secure.

I.

Interest your child in work by complimenting his or her efforts.

J.

Joyfully take pleasure in life.

K.

Keep harsh criticisms to yourself; avoid using "should" and "ought."

L.

Let your child experience the results of his or her behavior.

M.

Model by example those qualities you want your child to have.

N.

Negotiate privileges and responsibilities, avoid overindulgence.

O.

Offer some choices, allowing your child to make decisions.

P.

Problem-solve with your child, listening carefully to his or her thoughts and feelings.

Q.

Quit blaming, shaming, and threatening.

R.

Respect your child's right to grow at his or her own rate without being pushed or compared to others.

S.

Share household tasks among all family members so that your child makes a contribution and feels a sense of
belonging.

T.

Take time to read with your child, thus instilling a love of books and learning.

U.

Use a photo album to record pleasant family memories.

V.

Value honesty, kindness, dependability, truthfulness and caring.

W. Weather trials together as a family.

Z.

X.

eXamine your attitude toward your child.

Y.

Yield to professional advice concerning healthy living habits.

Zestfully participate in a variety of family traditions and activities.

10 Ways to Raise Children to USE Drugs

By Leah Davies, M.Ed.
1.

Obey their demands. Give in to their tantrums. Deny them nothing. If they want it, indulge them. Make sure they know
you will always be there to get them out of trouble. If they break a toy or wreck a car, replace it.

2.

Overlook, defend, or rescue them from the consequences of their negative behavior. Accept their excuses or blame
others by saying things such as, "My child would never do that!", "It can't be her fault; it must be the school's fault!", or
"The other child made him do it."

3.

Disregard moral principles. Be dishonest. Involve your children in lying or cheating others and taking pleasure in the
misfortune of others. Encourage insecurity by telling them to keep secrets from other family members or family secrets
from others.

4.

Avoid touching, hugging, and taking time to interact with your children. Deny the existence of their emotional and social
needs. Discourage them from expressing feelings and isolate them from friends, organizations, and activities.
Disregard their physical needs.

5.

Ignore their worthwhile and constructive habits. Avoid complimenting or praising their efforts. When they have done
something well, make fun of it. Belittle their ideas, interests, and accomplishments. Dwell on their weaknesses. Expect

them to fail. Express hopelessness in their ability to succeed or to cope positively with life's stresses.

6.

Pretend you never make mistakes or have problems. Expect perfection from your children. Judge them harshly if they
make a mistake or misbehave. Never forgive, but instead hurt and degrade them by yelling, blaming, shaming,
whipping, humiliating, or threatening to abandon them.

7.

Establish and enforce tough, rigid rules. Discourage thought and questions by demanding that they do what you want,
when you want it done. Never help them think of ways to work through their own problems. Demonstrate your distrust
of them by questioning everything they do, and discount their right to privacy and independence as they mature.

8.

Keep children constantly on guard by being unpredictable. Become angry at an action one day and laugh at it the next.
Avoid any kind of routine. Let them decide when to eat and sleep. Allow them to watch television continually without
your supervision or guidance. Avoid traditions. Rarely eat dinner as a family. Treat them differently. Have a "favorite"
child who can do no wrong and a "bad" child who can do no right.

9.

Remain uninformed about drugs and drug use. If you smoke, drink alcohol excessively, or use other drugs, make
excuses and deny your own use. Never discuss your attitudes or feelings about drugs. Disregard the facts concerning
the negative effects drugs have on the mind and body.

10. Above all else, discount your own value as a human being. Communicate anger and resentment toward life. Engage in
self-indulgent, self-destructive behaviors

Mommy, Can You See Me? A Poem that Advocates Positive Parenting!
Mommy mommy can you see me? I am playing nicely with my toys.
Mommy can you hear me? Im trying not to make a lot of noise.
Mommy, did you notice? I shared my candy with my brother.
Mommy are you proud? I said please may I have another?
I thought thats what you wanted but you didnt even smile
Learning how to make you happy might just take a while
You noticed when I threw my toys. You yelled at me that day.
You noticed when I was playing loud. You took my toys away.
You put me in the corner because I didnt share.
When I didnt use my manners, you gave me an evil stare.
Please help me understand how Im supposed to act.
When I do the wrong things, thats when you react.
I just want you to see me, and I know how to make you look.
When I act like a good boy, all you do is stare at Facebook.

Mommy cant you see? I just want you to notice.

I will be a good boy when you learn to shift your focus.