By Kim Michaels

Rising above relationships that are based on sexual attraction

TOPICS: People will use even a spiritual teaching to justify the desire for sex
- marriage a voluntary commitment to pure relationship - private ceremony - reas
ons to have sex only in a committed relationship - why sex can be purely mechani
cal - why intentions are important - avoid attachment in relationship - reasons
to marry - testing your attachment to sexual desire - do not let sexual attracti
on prevent you from finding your spiritual partner Question 1: The Bible condemns sex outside of marriage. Is this correct in your
eyes? I am not saying that it is right to sleep around. I am talking about two p
eople who love each other and want to commit their bodies to each other.
The Bible says that two people should be married before God - but since God is e
verywhere, including within us, why can the fact that two people who have made a
commitment to each other not be enough to be viewed as a marriage?
Question 2: I have read the answer on sex outside marriage and the understanding
I get seems to relate to breaking the marriage vow. How about sex with one part
ner without being married? In search of Truth and Higher Understanding,
Answer from ascended master Jesus through Kim Michaels:
If you study the teachings I have given concerning sex and marriage, you will se
e that I have already answered this question. Nevertheless, let me give a few th
oughts to ponder.
Thought 1
Let us begin by recognizing that sex is one of the strongest drives in the human
desire body. There is almost no limit to how far people will go in order to jus
tify their desire for sex. Unfortunately, this is equally true of many religious
and spiritually aware people. They are quick to use even a spiritual teaching t
o justify their desire for sex.
This has indeed led some people to use the beautiful discourse by my Mother, in
which she explains that I was conceived out of wedlock, in their attempts to sed
uce others. They do this by arguing that if Mother Mary and Joseph could have se
x outside of marriage, so can they. Such misuse of a spiritual teaching demonstr
ates that these people are strongly influenced by or possessed by dark spirits.
My point is that almost no matter what I could say about sex outside of marriage
, some people would misuse it.
Nevertheless, let me give some thoughts that are tailored specifically for peopl
e who consider themselves to be on the spiritual path and are dedicated to makin
g maximum spiritual progress.
Thought 2
Let us begin by considering how to define marriage? The official definition woul
d be that people have been married by an outer institution, such as a church or
civil authority. Yet as the current state of affairs in most western nations dem
onstrate, such a marriage often is no better than the piece of paper upon which
it is written.
Therefore, I would like to propose a spiritual definition of marriage, namely as
a voluntary commitment into which a man and a woman engage in order to keep the
ir relationship, including their sexual relationship, as pure and as spiritual a
s possible. This means that the two people make a commitment to keeping their re
lationship pure according to their current understanding and spiritual awareness
. And at the same time, they make a commitment to continually help each other ex

pand their spiritual awareness.

According to this definition, I was not conceived or born out of wedlock because
my parents had indeed made such a spiritual commitment. I strongly encourage al
l people who are on the spiritual path to make such a commitment before they eng
age in sexual activity. You can do this in a private ceremony, in which you prom
ise God, in the form that you can currently recognize as God, to be faithful to
each other both sexually and spiritually, to keep your relationship pure and to
help each other grow in spiritual awareness. You might use any marriage ritual y
ou find appealing, or you may make a simple promise in your own words. You may d
o any ceremony you wish, but make it a sincere commitment.
Thought 3
Am I hereby saying that I encourage people to abstain from sex until they are re
ady to make a commitment to each other and to the ongoing nature of their relati
onship? That is exactly what I am saying, and I do so with good reason.
There is a very unfortunate attitude in much of the western world today that sex
is an activity that can be engaged in without any negative consequences whatsoe
ver (as long as pregnancy is avoided). Many people look at sex as being no more
serious than having dinner or watching a movie. This is not true, even though gi
ven the current state of movies and the type of food eaten by many people, dinne
r and a movie can also be risky activities.
As I have explained in other comments, sex is an activity that inevitably opens
up your energy field to receiving energy from your partner and even from outside
forces. Let me tell you that in western civilization there is an entire horde o
f dark forces who are constantly seeking to inflate people's desire for sex. The
y have managed to use advertising, the media, the educational systems and the en
tertainment industry to grossly over inflate people's desire bodies. Many people
have the impression that there is something wrong with them if they are not con
stantly having sex or if they are not having as much sex as their peers. This ha
s created an enormous pressure upon many people that causes them to engage in se
xual activities without having any kind of commitment.
The all-important factor here is the intent with which you engage in sex. If it
is done purely to satisfy your physical or emotional desires, meaning that it is
done purely for egotistical reasons, then sex will inevitably open you up to im
perfect energies and even dark spirits. They will invade your energy field durin
g sexual intercourse, and they will bring with them various types of energies, f
eelings and desires that will set you up for giving them their next fix.
By only engaging in sex in a committed relationship, you can greatly reduce the
risk of having your sexual relationship polluted by such forces (especially if y
ou also invoke spiritual protection). However, making a commitment once is not e
nough. You must have a firm commitment to keeping your relationship pure, and yo
u must understand that in order to do so, you must resist the programming that s
eeks to inflate your sexual desires beyond what is spiritually healthy. In other
words, you must decide whether spiritual growth or sexual pleasure is more impo
rtant to you and to your relationship.
Thought 4
Before the fall of human beings, human lifestreams inhabited bodies that were no
t as dense as the physical bodies you wear today. These light bodies, or energy
bodies, did not have sexual organs. They were androgynous, although with some di
fferences depending on whether the lifestream was mainly male or female. How did
such bodies procreate? Lifestreams did so by entering into a spiritual union th
at is far more gratifying than the highest sexual pleasure known on earth. Throu
gh this spiritual union, two lifestreams that were in perfect harmony, and vibra
ted in perfect resonance, could indeed create another light body that would appe

ar in the form of a young child.

When human lifestreams fell, they were no longer able to enter into this higher
spiritual union. Instead, they entered into denser physical bodies that could pr
ocreate only through physical intercourse. This has reduced procreation to a pur
ely mechanical process that can be engaged in with no deeper spiritual union wha
tsoever. This has made it possible that the union between a male and female life
stream can be reduced to the animal level and be exploited for commercial gain o
r be exploited by dark forces to steal people s spiritual light.
Thought 5
The intent with which you engage in sexual intercourse is in direct proportion t
o the degree of spiritual protection that you can establish around your union. G
od the Creator is the only being that can create new life out of itself. God fir
st created two beings, Alpha and Omega, and in order to create other lifestreams
, Alpha and Omega must engage in spiritual union. So must all beings in the spir
itual realm. The fact that new life on earth can be created only through a physi
cal union is a reminder of the spiritual law that for new life to be created, tw
o lifestreams of the opposite sex must come together.
The higher the degree of selflessness with which both parties engage in the phys
ical union, the higher the degree of spiritual protection. I am not hereby sayin
g that sexual intercourse should only be engaged in to create children. It is le
gitimate, at least at the lower stages of a lifestream s spiritual path, that peop
le have intercourse for the purpose of establishing a greater spiritual union be
tween a man and woman. If done for selfless purposes, this can indeed further th
e spiritual growth of both parties.
One can engage in protected sex only by exercising self-discipline and walking t
he spiritual path. One must purify the desire body and emotional body of all art
ificial sexual desires. One must be committed to spiritual growth and see person
al Christhood as far more important than temporary sexual pleasure. If these goa
ls are met, it is possible for two people to reach a much higher degree of spiri
tual union than most people on earth could even dream about.
Thought 6
That being said, let me caution that any activity on earth, and I mean any activ
ity, can become a trap that at some point begins to hinder, rather than help, yo
ur spiritual growth. There are those who believe that sex, such as tantric sex,
can be a shortcut to spiritual growth. First of all, there are no shortcuts to s
piritual growth. There are those who seek to take heaven by force, but they will
not be successful, as described in my parable about the person who entered the
wedding feast without a wedding garment.
As I said, sexual intercourse done for purely selfless purposes can help your sp
iritual progress. By attaining spiritual union with another person, you can make
it easier to reach beyond the lower self and obtain union with your Christ self
. Yet there will inevitably come a point where you need to realize that no matte
r how gratifying a sexual relationship might be, you need to move beyond the poi
nt where you need another person in order to have spiritual experiences.
You need to go to the kingdom of God that is within you and become spiritually s
elf-sufficient instead of relying on anything or anyone on earth, be it your sex
ual partner or a religion. If you do become attached to a partner or religion, t
hen that relationship will take you away from your Christhood. In other words, a
t a certain level of your personal path a pure sexual relationship can help your
growth, but when you reach a certain level, you must overcome all attachment to
that relationship in order to climb higher. If you do become attached, you will
either stay at that level or begin to slide backward. I am not saying that you
necessarily need to abandon the relationship. I am saying you need to abandon an

y attachments.
Thought 7
If you have the intention of engaging in a committed relationship with your part
ner, and if you do live in a religious culture, why not go through the outer rit
ual of marriage? It serves the practical function of letting other people in you
r community know that both of you are off the market. In my Sermon on the Mount, I
made it clear that it was not enough to abstain from sleeping with another pers
on's spouse; you also need to overcome the desire to do so. The reason is that b
y desiring another person's spouse, you will indeed send psychic energy at that
person, and this can negatively affect the relationship.
Therefore, by making a commitment in front of your community, you are reducing t
he amount of energy directed at your relationship from other people. Finally, if
you are fortunate enough to be married by a priest who has some degree of the H
oly Spirit, his or her blessing may indeed place a sphere of protective energy a
round your relationship. Obviously, such protection will not last forever unless
it is maintained by you and your spouse.
Thought 8
What about people who are already living together and have engaged in sex but ha
ve not yet made a commitment? Well, if you are committed to spiritual growth, pe
rform the following exercise of prayer and fasting. Abstain from sex for 33 days
while daily giving a spiritual ritual together, such as Archangel Michael s Rosar
y and /or one of Mother Mary s rosaries. Then perform a marriage ceremony.
What about people wondering if their relationship is pure and not driven by sexu
al desires? The test is simple. Attachment to sex shows an impure desire body. T
o put this to the test, decide to do the exercise I just described.
Thought 9
If you are a truly spiritual person, you will have planned your life before comi
ng into embodiment. This most likely included planning which spouse to marry, an
d the spouse was selected to give you maximum spiritual growth.
When you come into embodiment, you forget this plan, and in the West many people
even forget about the spiritual path. The dark forces will often seek to derail
your spiritual plan, and one way is to prevent you from finding the planned spo
use. This can be done by tempting you, as I was tempted after my time in the wil
derness and on many other occasions. Dark forces can do this by sending you a pe
rson to whom you feel a strong sexual attraction. If you engage in a relationshi
p, it can easily prevent you from meeting your spiritual partner perhaps for a lif
etime.
Therefore, if you know you are a spiritual seeker, you should consider never hav
ing any relationship that is based exclusively or primarily on sexual attraction
. To achieve this, make it a personal rule that you never engage in sex before m
arriage, be it a formal or private marriage. Also consider that when you meet a
person who seems sexually attractive, it it good to take time to wait for the sp
iritual partner who is hidden around the corner. You will be amazed at how resis
ting sexual temptation can open the door that brings your spiritual partner into
your life. Prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open y
ou the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be r
oom enough to receive it.