28 Day Ultimate Guide

New You, New Life

By
James Dawborn

Edited By
Kymmie Krieger

Copyright 2013 by James Dawborn

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Contents
1- Introduction

2- Chapter 1 - Step 1- Emotional Strength Covering
Topics on:
Body Language
Emotional States
Positive Thinking
Conquering Fear
Building Confidence
Understanding Change

3. Chapter 2 - Step 2- Align Your Blue Print Covering
Topics on:
Depression
Keeping Anger at Bay
Values and Beliefs
Should vs. Must

4. Chapter 3 - Step 3- Progress to Happiness 28 Day
Guide Covering Topics on:
Building Self-esteem
Positive Energy
28 Days to Success- The Walkthrough

5. Chapter 4 - Step 4- Wealth Management Covering
Topics on:
Personal Budget Planner

6. Chapter 5 - Step 5- Final Step to Success - Covering
Topics on:

Treat Yourself
Discover Your Compelling Future
Health and Fitness
Final Words from James Dawborn

Introduction
Hello friend,
My name is James Dawborn, and I am going to be your
inspirational life coach for the next 28 days. Exciting already, isnt
it? Congratulations, and welcome to your new, life-changing 28Day Ultimate Guide: New You, New Life book.
This is definitely the start of something special in your life! Inside
this book, I will provide and equip you with the necessary tools to
begin slaying your fears, creating compelling goals, and
immediately inciting minute yet monumental changes that will grow
you, in mind, body, and soul. I will reveal methods that will give
you the freedom to boost your self-worth, and write your very own
success story!
This is the first of many books that I hope to write, sharing my
knowledge and inspiration along the way. While I am not a world
famous entity, I know my path in life and that it includes helping to
transform the lives of as many people as possible (Including you!).
You could say I am a new contender in the ever-evolving world of
self-development.
I have attained the expert qualifications needed professionally in
life coaching, with most of my knowledge stemming from my ten
years of field experience pertaining to the mental effects of people
from different economic backgrounds. My other experiences have
evolved from being a personal fitness trainer. I have had the
pleasure of training many diverse clients and seeing the positive
impacts that fitness and health have on an individuals life, goals,
and attitude.
The human mind is a fascinating tool. Moreover, it is very
interesting to see how quickly people can spiral out of control,
lacking the emotional strength to pick themselves up. This
downward turn is the reason why we see depression, alcoholism,
drug abuse, and extreme crime plaguing the world around us.
However, there is a positive flip side (Thank goodness, right?). I
have found, throughout all of my experience, that there are key
areas in life that when cultivated and expanded upon provide you
with a fantastic foothold of success in whatever field you desire.

From your emotional strength to your core beliefs, I invite you to

take this journey with me, opening up your mind to the possibility
that change is feasible. Often throughout this book, I will repeat
myself, reiterating core concepts and important lessons. These
must be learned, taken to heart, and remembered if you truly wish
to make the necessary changes in your life.
I want to reassure you that no matter what your background holds
or what internal conflicts you harbor (from depression to phobias),
the common principles, contained in this program, can help soothe
your past.
Now, there are a few items that will be handy when completing
tasks within this 28 day program. Are you ready? First, you will
need a note book/journal, and second, grab a diary. I will explain in
more detail later why these are needed, but I wanted to give you
the heads up now.
Before we begin, the biggest challenge you will face when creating
new emotional strength is being fully ready to grab the bull by the
horns, solidifying your commitment. This guide will present you
with the methods and tasks to create a new life, BUT you have to
be ready to fully engage and actively commit to the change! If
youre not completely focused, you simply cannot give 100%, and
you, therefore, will not fully experience the amazing and lifechanging benefits that this program offers.
Your first task is to ask yourself this important question: Are you
ready to rumble? Just kidding. But, really, are you ready?
In buying this book, I assume that you must play host to some
inner element of unhappiness; however, I am more interested in
your purpose. Im not going to pull any punches here. I, truthfully,
want you to know that its going to take effort, endurance, and
dedication to leap towards success. As any athlete will tell you,
performance is 80% mental and only 20% physical (Dont you wish
you had known that as a kid?).
Make no mistake, success is intentional and to think otherwise is
foolish.

I like to envision life as an art piece; it takes time and effort to

create something that is both visually beautiful and well thought
out. If you can dream it, you can create it (with the right materials,
tools, and ideas). Your vision put into action can capture the hearts
and souls of others, proving memorable to all whom you touch.
*****************
Minute Motivator
You are here for a reason, so make something of your life,
whatever it may be. Have the confidence to see things
through. You will not regret it (believe me).
*****************
I feel its necessary to highlight that in order to grow and develop
as a person, you need to first understand your emotional state,
which includes knowing when to motivate, when to work hard, and
when to persevere.
If you commit to and complete the exercises and steps within this
book, I assure you that life will take a turn in your favor. This world
is similar to a huge magnet and has to eventually balance out.
With a little rewiring of your emotional psychology, you can learn to
use life to your advantage. Your dreams will become reality, and
you will realize that anything is possible (should you choose it to
be)!
Remember, your destiny is in your hands (no one elses)! All that is
needed is FOCUS, DETERMINATION, VISION, and A SMIDGE
OF SELF CONFIDENCE!
With all these tools in your arsenal, anything in life is achievable.
You can attain a rich, fulfilling life, whether career-wise, financially,
spiritually, health-wise, physically, or relationally. Do not saddle
others around you with the responsibility of making you happy.
There will be moments when they let you down, and you will feel
rejected. But, have faith in yourself. Make your own path in life,
and let no one else take away from who you truly are.

Lets take a moment, and think about successful people. Do you

have successful people surrounding you? Think about the big
picture. Success does not necessarily have to be limited to
financial wealth. It can be happiness or achievement in the form of
spirituality, fitness, health, or even a career.
So, how do successful people bring in the dough? Thats the
million dollar question, right? The first step is to take some time to
research and learn about how the successful people you know
actually became successful. If theyre a close friend, its easy! Just
ask them. If they are an idol or a role model of yours, take a look at
what methods helped them transition from idea to reality. I
guarantee that digging into a successful mans (or womans)
journey will bring new inspiration and even give you some unique
ideas to use along your own path.
Now, think about what makes successful people different from you
(aside from their mansions, Ferraris, and private jets)? Okay, I kid,
but seriously, think about it. Some were born into money. Some
were not. Some were instantly given amazing skills and physiques.
Some were not. Some had the luxury of jumping straight into their
dream job or buying their dream house, but again, some did not.
Most successful people increased their knowledge, embraced
change, remained open minded, honed in on their goals, designed
a plan to achieve their vision, and set it in motion to get solid
results. Thoughts took life and became actions! And, you can do
the same.
Now, within this book, there will be exercises for you to work
through. Take as much time as needed to complete each one.
Here is Exercise 1:
*****************

Exercise 1 Conducting research

You are going to research two people, who in your eyes, are
successful. They can be male or female, successful in any

field. In your new notebook, I want you to describe each one,

answering the following:
1) Who is he/she?
2) What he/she do to be successful?
3) Did he/she start off with wealth?
4) What is his/her back ground?
5) How did he/she find his/her success?
For this task, feel free to write quick summaries. Once you
have done this, write down the strengths you think each of
the two possessed. This may take a while, so please, take
whatever time you need to achieve this.
*****************
Right now you may be thinking, Why in the world is he asking me
to do this? And, heres your answer:
I want you to be open minded, remembering that in most cases,
successful people start off with nothing and make significant
changes in their way of thinking. These changes in philosophy
allow them to devote more time to their vision. Your research will
help you see their courses of action and the obstacles they
overcame along the road to success.
Now, here comes the juicy stuff! Are you ready?
There are five main areas of a persons life that everyone can
relate to, no matter the background, situation, or circumstance.
Referring back to these five key areas can help you better
understand yourself and others.
Get ready because this is FACINATING STUFF!!! So, lets jump
right to it.
1. Emotional Strength It just sounds important, doesnt it? I
have mentioned this attribute several times already, as it is by far
the most important factor to success. Stemming from our thoughts
and our actions, emotional strength gives us the ability to respond
to our gut feelings. It gives us the power to seek solutions to our

problems and determine how quickly we can shift from one

emotion to the next. Its our internal regulator and powerhouse!
2. Comfort How many people do you know that refuse to leave
their comfort zone? Are you pointing at yourself? Are you one of
these people? If you are, thats completely okay. However, its
important to understand that a lack of comfort in oneself has a
massive impact on the thought process. Relationships, for
example, rely heavily on both parties feeling comfortable and safe.
If these feelings are not present, the relationship can lose control,
triggering conflicting emotions such as anger, frustration, sadness,
and depression. Comfort is definitely an essential!
3. Control Raise your hand if youre a control freak and proud of
it (I kid, of course)! However, though it sounds like a negative
connotation, most people prefer to be in control of their own lives. I
definitely want to direct my own feelings and actions, so I can
focus on my strengths, achieve my goals, and progress
successfully in life. Control or be controlled, its your choice!
4. Value Who doesnt like to feel important? We all enjoy being
appreciated and valued, whether at work, home, or in a
relationship. Feeling valued is a huge emotional factor, which
affects our thoughts, self-confidence, and self-image. Moreover,
feeling insignificant can cause a loss of our sense of purpose,
which can also trigger other unwanted emotions. A sense of true
value is emotionally invaluable!
5. Love and Growth And of course, I saved the best for last.
Only when you are completely happy, content, and fulfilled yourself
can you truly love others and experience inner growth. You will
experience an unmatched connection with others and gain great
satisfaction from feeling loved. Relationships grant us the certainty
we desire, and with that, we naturally grow individually and in our
relationships as well. Love and growth are a perfect pair (like
peanut butter and jelly)!
Your mindset is pivotal in achieving your goals. Your ability to
focus, determination for achievement, desire for life progress, and
application of the right mindset WILL ultimately steer you in your
desired direction. Its as simple as opening your mind and
accepting some basic truths (regarding who you really are deep

inside and how much effort youre willing to put into achieving your
dreams).
In this ever-changing and unpredictable world, anything can be
thrown in your path, potentially spiraling your life out of control. To
survive the storm, you have to prepare yourself for the potential
emotional fallout.
Have you ever been caught in an uncontrollable, swirling tornado
of emotion (including anger, sadness, fear, and frustration)? Its no
fun now, is it? You jump from one emotion to another, and it is
extremely difficult to break this cycle.
Control and confidence are going to be the keys to your success
during this journey. Once you acquire these (and you will jump for
joy when you do), you will be able to put the past behind you, and
only focus on the future. This can definitely be a rewarding step, if
you allow it to be. Gaining control of our own lives is a major
component of our psychology, essential for our success.
In addition to control and confidence, you need to have respect for
yourself and others around you. We all need core beliefs, most of
which are shaped and developed throughout our adolescent years.
These beliefs steer how we act, how we think, and the decisions
we make.
Wouldnt it be grand to live a life of sheer significance, achieving all
of your dreams? Wouldnt you love to be able to hold your head up
high each day, proud of who you are? Many people believe that
since this isnt an animated Disney movie (with talking animals and
fairytale endings), those kinds of feelings arent attainable. And,
that couldnt be more false!
You CAN have the strength and sheer determination to go out into
this tough world, and grab it by the horns proclaiming, World, get
ready! Here I come!

*****************
Minute Motivator
It does not matter how old you are, where you are from, or
how much money you have. What truly matters is that you

wake up each morning, find the positive in your situation, and

focus on achieving your dreams. Whether you want more
from this life or not, we only get one life to live. So, LIVE IT
and LOVE IT!
*****************
Today is your moment to change! Notice, I didnt say next week or
in a few years. Right now is the time to decide what you want from
life, and start accumulating the tools to achieve your goals.
I know you will be glad to hear that I am not going to hold you in
suspense until the end of this book to tell you the key to success.
In fact, Im going to tell you right now.
Awesome, right?
The key to happiness is continually making progress. Its the ability
to make things happen, whether its changing a career, choosing a
healthier lifestyle, reviving spiritual health, or overcoming a fear or
phobia. It is crucial to design and focus on a compelling future,
aligning yourself with this path and growing as an individual. Selfmotivation and determination will inevitably build along your road
to success.
(Happiness + Progress = Success)
Its a simple equation! And, you can make it your own!
But first, you will need to make some important decisions about
what you truly want out of life and how you intend on achieving
your wildest dreams. If you truly desire a fulfilling life, you will be
amazed to hear that with some slight adjustments to your
emotional strength and current actions, you can experience instant
gratification coupled with gradual progress.
I have divided this 28-day guide into five main stepping-stones for
you to utilize along your path to success. From assessing your
financial situation to having a more positive outlook on life, I
promise that after reading and completing the challenges I set out

for you, you will instantly feel self-gratification and see a positive
difference in your life.
Doesnt that sound great? Who doesnt want some positive change
in their life? Right now, hopefully youre thinking, Bring it on,
James! Im ready!
This book is scaled down into easily digestible chunks, which I
believe constitute the core areas that will immediately begin
initiating change within you.
The FIVE STEPS are as follows:
Step 1 Emotional Strength
Step 2 Your Blue Print
Step 3 Happiness = Progress 28 Day Guide
Step 4 Wealth Management
Step 5 Final Step to Success

*****************
Minute Motivator
A sincere chance for happiness is presented within this book.
So, open your mind, and focus on what could be and what is,
rather than what was.
Your past is a mere shadow of who you were. Yes, its true
that sometimes you need to remember to the past (so as not
to repeat mistakes); however, it is best to only focus on the
positive memories.
Be inspirational and creative with your life. You have the
power, motivation, and drive to make the best of every
situation!
*****************

Chapter 1 - Step 1 Emotional Strength

Sounds kind of like an oxymoron doesnt it? But never fear. If it
wasnt key, I wouldnt waste your time with it.
Emotional strength is vital in changing your mentality and in
becoming more focused and energetic about life. It will give you a
new sense of purpose, help you align your wants/needs, and, most
importantly, allow you to handle unexpected events, while attaining
the best possible results.
Grasping this concept shows you are already a winner!
Emotional strength is defined as your ability to control your actions,
thoughts, and feelings to attain the results you seek and desire.
However, first, you may need to rewire your emotions in order to
achieve this. You need to become confidant in who you are,
digging down deep into your core. Think about what really makes
you happy in life.
It might be helpful (at this stage) to write these questions out and
spend some time spelling out your answers.
Self-reflection, here we come with Exercise 2:
*****************

Exercise 2
Rank the following aspects of your life, ranging from 1-10 (1 =
very unhappy / 10 = the best it will ever be). This will help
clarify which areas you wish to improve upon.
1- Career=
2- Money =
3- Health =
4- Family and Friends =

5- Personal Growth =
6- Fitness =
7- Love/Relationships =
8- Time for Yourself =
*****************
Are we having fun, yet?
Remember, there are no right or wrong answers, and there is no
judgment here. This is all about you!
So, try not to be vague with your answers; be as specific as
possible because this will later help you to develop more
achievable and accurate goals. Remember, these changes are
your personal desires, not those of others. You are doing this for
yourself and to ensure your own happiness!
Now, lets dig a little deeper (into our Grand Canyon of emotions).
What is currently stopping you from having the kind of life and
relationships you desire?
If you currently dont know what you want from life or are stuck in a
lightless tunnel, this is the best time to get back to basics. Think
about what you do know and identify the underlying issues related
to your feelings.
Were all in the same boat (metaphorically)! So, here are some
examples that you may relate to or even be experiencing yourself:
1- Are you in a relationship that you know, deep down, isnt
working out? Are you worried about the consequences of leaving
that person, as well as the thought of being alone?
2- Do you have a job that does not provide you with any
satisfaction? Do you believe that youre simply working long hours
for someone elses benefit? Do you feel like no matter how much
effort you put in, there is never any true gratitude or appreciation
on the part of your employer?

3- Are you saddled with debt, such as credit cards balances, bank
loans, student loans, or mortgage payments? Have you possibly
become addicted to gambling? Do you fear you will never be
capable of paying off your debt, and your life is spinning in chaotic
circles, without a shred of hope in sight?
4- Are you overly stressed at work and at home? Is your health
deteriorating due to a poor diet and a lack of physical exercise? Is
your couch your new favorite hiding place?
5- Due to life events, have you lost control, become depressed,
and resorted to a life of addiction to drugs, alcohol, or some other
means? Are you aware that it may give you a short-term fix, but it
will never solve your problems in the long run?
6- Are you intimidated by friends and family and lack the courage
and confidence to stand up to them? Are you afraid of the outcome
of showing others you are an adult, a strong person, and a reliable
friend?
I have found that all of these situations and experiences are
obstacles that many people struggle with in their everyday lives.
Luckily, there are easily identifiable, common factors present in all
of them. However, the most important factor in these situations is
gaining the self-belief and self-confidence to take control of your
own life and your own decisions.
Think about why you chose this book. Hopefully, you are aware
that there are thousands reading right along with you. You are
definitely not alone! For whatever reason you decided to embark
upon this journey, its imperative to remember that others are right
there, paddling side-by-side with you, hoping to reach the shore of
success.
Regardless of circumstance, it all comes down to your emotional
health. The end result will change depending on your values, your
beliefs, and your comfort zone, but your emotional health is the
foundation we must build to withstand any storm.
Now, on to Exercise 3.

Jumping jacks! Ready, set, go! I kid, again; however, answering

the questions below will help you jump start your brain into
pondering some of the key goals you want to accomplish in life.
*****************

Exercise 3
1. What do I want in life?
2. What do I want more of?
3. What areas of my life am I happy with?
4. What areas of my life am I not happy with?
5. How will I know when I have achieved what I want?
6. What is preventing me from having what I desire?
7. How badly do I really want this change?
8. What am I prepared to do to achieve my goals?
Think about it. What really makes you tick (not ticks you off
but makes you tick)? What are you passionate about?
Maybe its your career you want to change. Maybe you want
to spend more time with your family and friends. Maybe
youre sick of being hurt by others. Maybe you want the
courage to be independent and not have to rely on other
people. Whatever your reasons are write them down and
explain why.
*****************
Now that youve identified the areas of your life you are not happy
with, you can begin setting goals that aim to directly rectify specific
situations and areas you need help with.
Everyone needs help with something, right? So, dont be shy!
Level with yourself about your true needs.
Perhaps you wish to increase your confidence so you can
establish better relationships with others. Maybe you desire to
more fully develop your fitness levels so you can lead a healthier
lifestyle, guaranteeing that youll be there when your children need
you.
Once you have the answers to these questions, you can properly

strive to shape your vision, or at the very least, begin taking great
steps in the right direction. You can have as many goals as you
wish, keeping in mind they need to be realistic and attainable.
If you are still unclear as to what it is you want or what your goals
should be, dont panic! They will come to you (maybe not in a
crystal ball but it will happen). Though it may not be right away,
your dreams will present themselves to you at the right time.
Havent you ever noticed you never find your long-lost sock until
you stop looking for it (or for me, until after I throw the matchless
sock-mate away)? Then, BAM, there is it!
It has been my experience that dreams and visions usually arrive
just when you least expect them (sounds magical doesnt it?). You
may be just sitting at home or at work, and your thoughts suddenly
turn to deeper life questions. Then out of nowhere, an idea, dream,
or desire pops into your head, and thus it begins. Its moments like
these that you become more determined and focused than ever.
Remember this saying: Energy flows where focus goes.
Doesnt that make great sense when you really think about it? Our
energies are directed and devoted to those entities that consume
our focus.
Inside your mind lies the key to unlocking the right changes in the
key areas of your life. It all comes down to the way you think and
perceive life. Right now, youre probably reading this thinking,
Thanks for the breakthrough moment, James (definitely
sarcasm), but its true!
What we focus on, we, therefore, attract. I mentioned, in the
beginning of this book, that the world is like a magnet. Well, its the
same for all our thoughts, goals, and dreams. If life hits you with
some hard, negative blows and you let them define you, controlling
your thoughts, you will undoubtedly attract negative responses and
outcomes.
So, how do you make lemonade out of lifes lemons?
By thinking positively (especially through the difficult times in your
life), you will inevitably attract more positive outcomes. Why?

Because you will have put yourself in a stronger position to deal

with the problems that come your way, and you will have the
confidence to solve them. The mind is like a filter system, and you
are in charge of telling it what negative crap to flush out. So, start
flushing!
There is no greater feeling than that of achievement. Whether its
helping another or making a true difference in someones life, it is
a pure sense of significance that will positively overwhelm you.
Achievement is a desire we all have, a basic need for control in our
own lives.
So now, its take charge time!
From this moment on, you need to command certainty in your life.
Be assertive, and create a compelling future for yourself. A helpful
tip is to start interjecting more positive words into your vocabulary,
while going about your day-to-day business. Have you ever
noticed that when you talk to a Negative Nancy, he/she will hardly
ever use a positive word? Dont become that person!
So, the next time you talk to someone (whether its a work
colleague, friend, or family member), try to spot the negative words
they use in a casual conversation. Keep count, if you can. You will
be surprised how often and frequently negative words and
connotations are used when they are consuming someones life.
All these negative words, thoughts, and beliefs directly affect an
individuals day-to-day life.
Interestingly, studies have shown that people who are pessimistic
are more accurate and realistic in their everyday duties. Whereas,
optimists see themselves doing better, being more effective, and
having more potential. So, in essence, optimists have a greater
success rate due to their belief that they can do anything; whereas,
pessimists limit themselves, never pushing their limits.
Definitely something to think about!

Body Language
Body language is always an interesting subject to talk about. Its
your physical state reflecting what youre thinking and feeling, even

when youre unaware of the outward display. Our thoughts literally

become actions. For example, if someone is feeling down,
depressed, upset, or uncomfortable, they would typically have their
head lowered, not wanting to make eye contact with anyone. Their
shoulders would slump, and their arms might be crossed, closing
off their body.
Can you remember a time where this happened to you? How did
you feel? What was your emotional state like? What were you
doing at the time? How did you move on?
On the flip side of the coin, think about someones body language
in a state of happiness, joy, or excitement. Yep, you guessed it. It
would be the exact opposite. Their shoulders would be raised,
head held high, body open, and hand gestures flying in sync with
the conversation. They would make sure their presence was
known, and every action they made would be decisive, oozing with
confidence.
So, how can we utilize body language when we want it? Well, the
best way to do this is to visualize. Think back to a time where you
were engulfed in an excited state. Remember exactly how it made
you feel. This is a fantastic opportunity to relive a blast from the
past. So, close your eyes and relive the moment. Recall the
pleasure and excitement. These states are where you excel and
confidence grows.
Reaffirming your belief and confidence in yourself will renew your
spirit. It will give you a new sense of self that will make a huge
difference in your everyday life and encounters. Be strong in your
lifes desires, affirm your beliefs, and control your mental state.
You, and ONLY YOU, determine your path in life (and your body
language shows it- so throw those shoulders back)!

Emotional States
Having a strong, positive emotional state is ideal for enforcing
commitment to a cause. If you are suffering from too many
negative vibes, this can have quite an impact on your health,
draining away your energy and creating abnormally high levels of
stress. It can also trickle down to the people around you, as
negative energy tends to flow to others with a ripple effect.

The big question is: How do I know what state Im in?

And dont worry, we will answer that question together. Do I ever
leave you hanging? Never.
The best way to identify your emotional state is to write a journal
for seven days. You will note how you feel (good or bad) each
morning, noon, and night. This will then allow you to refer back,
review, and assess what impacted your emotional states, such as
what made you grumpy, sad, angry, happy, confident, or cheerful.
This does not have to be time consuming. Simply jot down your
emotions and what triggered them.
Once you determine what initiates certain emotional states within,
you can implement a reward system for successful tasks. This will
make the process more enjoyable. You dont have to be a kid to
love rewards.
Now, lets dive into Exercise 4:
*****************

Exercise 4
Buy yourself a journal and a diary.
Each day, write down your thoughts and feelings in your
diary. If youre sad, then describe the reason for your
sadness. If youre happy, then explain the reason for your
happiness. It is important to record these entries each day, so
you can build an accurate record of the emotional triggers
that exist in your daily life.
Now, on to the journal. It is good to write significant things
and events down on paper. Jot down your thoughts, plans
you need to make, notes, or even information given to you by
others. This is a helpful resource for you to refer back to later.
The journals purpose is act as an organizational tool. The
diarys purpose is to record and evaluate your emotions.
Okay, lets presume that you currently have a better

understanding of your emotional states. How can we now use

those positive triggers and states (that youve identified) to
influence our daily business and interactions?
*****************
Well, its easy. This can be accomplished by associating previous,
positive experiences with metaphors, sounds, or hand movements,
so that when you wish to access these hidden energies, you can
simply use a recall mechanism to instantly change your emotional
state. It will take some practice, but I am confident you will soon
become skilled at unlocking these pockets of hidden energy.
Think back to a time where you needed to come up with instant
energy. Maybe it was during a sports match or game, which
required you to push yourself to keep up? Try to visualize what it
was that triggered you to push yourself.
You will probably come to the realization that the trigger was
internal, where you said to yourself, I have to do this. I cant let
myself down. I have to push through this. And with that small
burst of momentum, you preserved, and afterwards, you felt a true
sense of self accomplishment.
Now, its time to develop a hand signal, sound, or saying that you
can use to reignite that fiery emotion again. The idea is to create a
connection between the two, an internal response. For example,
when you hear rhythmic, club music, it makes you want to get up
and dance, right? This is the power of association using sounds or
gestures.
You can also do something called incantations, which I want you to
try as well. Ensure that you are in a safe environment, and sit
back, raising your shoulders up and pushing your chest out. I want
you to imagine a surge of flowing energy rushing through your
body. Feel it flow up your legs and then through your back.
Imagine it reaching out across your arms and hands, finally
reaching the top of your head. Feel the rush throughout your body
as this energy takes over.
I want you to now recall a time where you truly achieved success.
It can be from any time period in your life, but pick a specific time
when you felt like you were literally on top of the world.

Can you visualize it? Great! Now, do you remember exactly how
that moment felt? Relive that moment right now. Take it all in,
thinking about where you were, whom you were with, and what it
was that brought you such great joy and excitement.
As you embrace these feelings, you should begin to feel more
assertive and physically refreshed. If not, then move to a more
secluded, quiet, safe place where you can refocus, and try again.
Contemplate your body language, thinking through the differences
between good and bad posture.
Then the next time you are out on the town, be observant of other
peoples body language. You will begin to see for yourself how
body language can truly foreshadow a persons mood or feelings.
Here we go with Exercise 5:
*****************

Exercise 5
Now, I know youre going to think Im crazy, but just trust me
on this one, okay? I promise, this really does work.
For this exercise, I want you to give incantations a try on a
daily basis. Its best to pick a time where you can be
completely alone and uninterrupted. Doing this in the car will
definitely get you some stares (or may even cause an
accident), and doing it in front of your spouse or family may
raise some eyebrows (or cause them to call a shrink).
First, in your journal, you need to write a short, positive,
motivational sentence that you can say quietly to yourself
while doing these incantations (or when you start to feel low).
Use words that promote positive energy such as confidence,
energy, focus, command, and power.
Here is an example:
I now command myself with all the power inside of me to
make a difference in my life and in the lives of others around
me. I will be confident. I will be decisive, and I will not let fear

get in my way.
I want you to do this at least once a day (more if possible), but
I also want you to believe it. Theres no point in saying
something unless you truly believe it. You will not progress
until you have confidence in your own words (This will
become even more apparent when we discuss your values
and standards).
*****************
Feeling confident is a positive emotional state, and with a little
practice, your goal is to be able to put yourself into positive states
whenever you need to.
For instance, think about a job interview. Before you arrive, you
should spend some time alone, moving yourself into a happy
place. You should envision your success in attaining that job, have
confidence in your thoughts, think outside the box, and realize your
own potential. Just as you research a company prior to entering an
interview, you also research your mood and prepare emotionally.
In essence, a positive, inspiring emotional state will win the job.
Something else worth mentioning is the fact that with all the buildup of negative emotions, often you will develop little demons, hell
bent on preventing you from being successful. But, dont worry.
This is not your fault. Its simply your mind trying to rationalize why
you cant possibly achieve a goal and would rather stick to a safe
plan.
Our minds often play the better safe than sorry card.
Sometimes, your mind may tell you that a task can wait until later
or that there are limits to what you are capable of. Whatever your
little demons excuse is, dont allow him to nuzzle his way back into
your positive mindset. Kick that demon to the curb!
The key to destroying your demons is to immediately stomp on
them with your reaffirming shoe of belief. STOMP!
Remember, your purpose and your goals. Are you easily
distracted? Why is that? What kinds of things distract you? Set
small, achievable goals for yourself, and begin targeting them with

conviction. Your journey can be enjoyable and fun.

No one said we had to miserable, right? Now, onward to Exercise
6:
*****************

Exercise 6
What are your strengths and Weaknesses?
Write into your journal a list.
What are you good at? Everything is in play here, like skills,
qualifications, attributes, personality traits, likes, and dislikes.
Be open minded. Do not limit yourself. Express your positivity
in this table.
Then once you have evaluated your strengths, go ahead and
brainstorm some weaknesses you have (or areas you wish to
build
upon).
Remember, no one knows you better than YOU! And, this is
just for you, so fire away!
*****************
So, right now youre wondering, Why do I need to do this? Why
must I write down my strengths and weaknesses when I obviously
know them?
Well, the answer is simple. The best way to truly understand
something is to analyze it after dissecting it into small, identifiable
chunks. By doing this, you can then focus on the positive (and your
strengths) rather than living a life plagued with negative energy.

Positive Thinking
Its all positive from here on out, got it?
What I need you to do is start honing in on the positives and
blocking out the negatives.

Generalizing is part of our nature (and very easy to do), so we tend

to make predictions based on similar past experiences. For
example, if you lose while playing a particular computer game, you
may naturally assume that you are not good at other unrelated
computer games. If you fail a math exam, you may assume that
youre not a good test taker. Generalizing is easy to pick up on, as
you usually hear words such as these used: never, everyone,
always, and typical.
Without clear evidence in front of you, its easy to make
assumptions, and calculate your own endings. In order to combat
this cycle, you have to open up your mind, look at each individual
situation in isolation, and prepare to accept that sometimes things
just go wrong. However, the good news is that just because
something happened once, does not necessarily mean that it will
happen again in the future.
Anxious people have a tendency to allow their imaginations and
fears to run wild, assuming the worst in every situation. This line of
thinking would be an example:
My car broke down, and now, I cant get to work. This is just
typical. I am going to lose my job. Then, I wont be able to pay my
bills. Everyone will hate me, and I wont be able to provide for my
family. We will lose our house, and I will be a failure. Why does
this always happen to me?
People who think in this negative manner will always have a
negative end result (no matter what the true outcome) because
they will find a reason to see the bad in every situation.
Another line of negative thinking is to always believe everything
you hear, such as rumors and gossip. This is very easy to do
because, as humans, we strive for acceptance from both ourselves
and others.
The blame game is another fabulous way to create excuses for
yourself, showing that it couldnt possibly have been your fault (no
matter what the it is). It is a tactical maneuver to strategically push
the blame as far away from yourself as possible. Please know that
when you set your goals so high that anyone who makes a
mistake automatically lets you down, there is a serious flaw in
your belief system.

On the flip side, people who have obsessive-compulsive disorder

(commonly known as OCD), blame themselves all the time, fearing
the very worst in some cases. OCD is defined as a psychiatric
disorder characterized by obsessive thoughts and compulsive
behavior, such as continual washing of the hands prompted by a
feeling of uncleanliness. They are constantly attempting to reduce
their anxiety. The mind plays a huge role in making an OCD
individual feel guilty and responsible in most cases.
Luckily, all of these states mentioned can be maintained through
learning to see your values as a personal choice. It is always best
to ask yourself what someone else might think or feel if put in your
position, giving yourself some better insight into the situation.

Taking on Fear
So, besides spiders and scary monsters, what are your fears? Do
you have any? What scares you most?
Some of the most common fears can be financial worry, lack of
confidence, not believing in yourself, loneliness, and rejection.
Fear can also come from experiencing life-changing moments that
have scarred you, completely knocking your emotions into an
instantaneous, downward spiral. All of these examples have the
power to stop you dead in your tracks, make you turn around, and
head for the hills.
Lets take a look at scary Exercise 7 (kidding, of course):
*****************

Exercise 7
Its time to identify your fears (Sounds more appealing than a
root canal, doesnt it? maybe not).
Grab your journal, and begin writing down your fears. Be
honest! You have to have at least one or two (or ten). Think
big picture.
Think about how pleasant it would be to not have that fear in
your life. Now, answer these questions:

1. Have you already tried to confront this fear?

2. Is there anything you can do to defeat or conquer this fear?
3. How could you accomplish this victory over your fear?
4. Can you research your fear (and possible solutions)
online?
5. Do you need a professionals advice?
*****************
To battle these fears takes a strong combination of inner strength,
focus, determination, courage, and motivation.
But please
remember, if you do not feel strong enough to do this by yourself,
then simply dont. Its not a sign of weakness to ask for help (and
dont let anyone tell you otherwise).
There are countless resources available to aid you in overcoming
your fears. From hypnotherapy to psychotherapy, there are dozens
of affordable options out there. And sometimes, if you look in the
right place, help can even be free (However, please be careful with
this, as often you get what you pay for).
So, dont be afraid. Reach out to someone (a friend or a
professional), and realize youre not alone. Pain is something we
all go through; however, whether you chose to suffer (rather than
seek help) and persevere is what counts!
If you look closely at fear, it is, in fact, a motivator. Sounds crazy,
right? But, its true. It can strike at any time, and when it does, it
possesses the power it to make people do extraordinary things.
Imagine having the confidence to use that fearful energy for
something positive. The results would be electrifying! Fear is
purely mental, and even though it may give you a beneficial sense
of clarity in certain situations, the trick is learning to harness it,
control it, and use it wisely.
Anxiety, a type of fear, is described as a feeling of worry, a strong
desire to do something, or extreme apprehension. When anxious,
people often find the power within themselves to take situations to
extremes, exhibiting signs of instant adrenaline rushes. They also
tend to underestimate their coping and wildly running imaginative

abilities, which often results in mental and physical consequences.

This is where the fight or flight response comes into play.
Some common signs or symptoms of anxiety are:
Sweating
Nausea
Palpitations
Hot flushes
Dizziness
Choking
Shaking
Loss of control
Anxiety attacks can be triggered from a single event such as an
injury, illness, death, divorce or domestic violence. These triggers
are tripped due to fear of change and uncertainty of ones ability to
handle a situation. The body goes into a form of shock, known as
an anxiety or panic attack.
Studies suggest that some anxiety disorders stem from buried
childhood experiences, scars, and fears. For example, someone
who grew up in a family where emotions were not freely expressed
is more likely to be vulnerable to these types of attacks later on in
life.
The affects of drugs can pose a significant threat in regards to the
onset of anxiety episodes. Any drug that suppresses the mind has
the potential to trigger an attack if a sudden or stressful event
occurs and the individuals mind is unable to function on autopilot.
If you sense that someone may be susceptible to a panic attack,
the most beneficial action for you to take is to gradually calm them
down. Have them take several slow, controlled breaths. Try to
encourage the individual to focus on something relaxing or
envision a peaceful environment (such as a beach). It is best to do
anything you can to promote a relaxing, non-stressful atmosphere
for the victim during their stressful episode.

Building Confidence
Confidence is a foundational building block for the new and

improved you!
Therefore, you must understand that confidence is strongly linked
to control. Low levels of confidence indicate a lost connection
within. You may have experienced a hardship in love, a
relationship, or a job. All of these are common arrows to the heart
of confidence.
The problem with confidence is it takes time to build, but only a
second to destroy.
Take relationships, for example. If youre in a controlling
relationship (whether youre male or female), you will find that
everything boils down to control. If one party is harboring
insecurities, they will do their best to make sure they are always in
control, even if it means resorting to psychological manipulation.
If a controlling partner cannot coerce you to be who they want you
to be, they may resort to more drastic measures (which is where a
lot of domestic abuse originates from). Seeing the repercussions of
peoples actions when they fear they are losing control is eye
opening. Some will go to great lengths just to gain a sense of
control. Those who obsess about control become experts at it, and
in little time, it becomes second nature to them. They learn to
manipulate your weaknesses to feed their strengths. Power and
control can be dangerous emotions if not harnessed correctly.
Relying heavily on others is a guaranteed recipe for Let-MeDown-Soup. One of the easiest ways to get hurt is to allow
yourself to trust someone who consistently fails to keep their end
of the bargain. You will lose your faith in them, which in turns
creates a sense of negativity that you will associate with
relationships.
While you cant be overly trusting, I want to point out that not
trusting anyone is NOT the answer either. This will only fuel a
negative projection of your next relationship without dealing with
your inner conflicts. If you enter a new relationship with these
strong, negative feelings, it will cause unnecessary tension.
The key in resolving this kind of problem is to accept what has
happened and understand that everyone experiences pain in their
life. Its a part of being human, but the challenge is deciding to

suffer or not to suffer. Reliving a negative past will only keep you
focused on what happened. It will cloud your judgment, and limit
your future perspective.
If you struggle with thinking about building your own confidence
levels, here are some helpful tips to get you started:
1. Try thinking of a role model that has/does inspire you (famous
athlete, close friend, parent, sibling, or spouse someone who has
touched your life in a truly significant way).
2. Use their passion for success and life to motivate you (gain a
sense of direction from how they inspired and influenced those
around them).
3. Immerse yourself in new directions and new prospects. Create
an everlasting desire to become someone you can be proud of. It
may require all the strength you can muster up on a daily basis to
make these changes, which is why its so very important to have
the right mindset throughout this process.
4. Accept the past, and remember the good times. Use this
renewed strength to push for new ventures; this will provide small
stepping-stones for new creations in your life.
As the saying goes, Greatness is small things done well.
So, confidence and control play a huge part in everyones life. If
you lack these, then rebuilding your core beliefs is your first major
step in this process. You will need to reestablish your love and
respect for yourself. Having self-respect will allow you to stand out
amongst a crowd, and take the stand to control your life. This is
essential because if you let someone else run your life, then pain
and heartache will accompany you throughout your lifelong
journey.
So, have faith, my friend! You have tremendous self-worth, so start
building yourself up. Utilize your strengths, and create a vision for
yourself.
Life coaching involves extensive planning for the future; however, I
want you to understand that your upbringing plays a monumental
factor in the actions and behaviors you exhibit today.

So, what is a phobia? A phobia is described as an irrational or

powerful fear/dislike. They can be very destructive; from being
scared of flying to the fear of heights, phobias all have the same
negative effects on the mind that evokes instantaneous emotions
which can cripple the body and cause extreme discomfort.
Hypnotherapy is a highly beneficial tool for soothing, if not
completely curing, phobias. It has proven successful for many
people who struggle and feel they cannot stop smoking, lose
weight, or be more confident. If you think hypnotherapy could be a
possible remedy for you, please conduct adequate research, and
find a local hypnotist that will be able to provide you with more
information.
So, what is a productive way to resolve or overcome a fear?
Clearly, that answer lies within understanding your fear.
Lets use flying as an example.
Say you have a fear of flying. The first thing to do is research this
fear. So, you ask yourself:
1. What is it about flying that truly scares me?
2. Is it the thought of going on a plane?
3. The look of the plane?
4. The fear of what might happen to the plane?
5. The unknown feeling of when the plane takes off?
6. The fact I have never been on a plane before?
Each of these factors need to be properly analyzed, so the specific
fear itself can be identified. Use this first step to now examine your
own fear. What is it specifically about your fear that worries you?
Now, its time to use your imagination (everyones favorite, right?).
You are going to forget about the negatives, and focus only on the
experience.
Okay, here we go (time to overcome our fears)!
You are sitting in your nice comfy armchair, and you turn on the TV
only to see yourself on the screen. Take in how you look (Use a
real remote control to make the experience more realistic.).

Now, imagine yourself floating out of your body (which is still really
in your comfy armchair). Can you see yourself in the chair and on
the TV still? Great!
Now, with your remote control, go ahead rewind yourself on TV.
Start at the moment right before you experience the memory you
want to overcome.
Now, play the film through until right after the memory ends. You
are still safe, without fear or incident. Make sure you imagine
yourself throughout the entire film, with full confidence that your
fear is powerless. You are assured that, in the end, nothing will
happen to you, so there is no need to worry.
Now, freeze the film, and float into the TV screen. Replay the film
over and over, starting and ending where you are safe. Keep
replaying it until you are comfortable with the memory and the
experience. When you do finally come face-to-face with your fear
in real life, use this method again beforehand (if possible) and
during the situation to stay focused on your safe outcome.
If youre reading this and wondering how this could possibly work,
hey, thats completely okay.
Fear is all in your mind, and because we control how we think and
feel (which scientists have proven in multiple studies), we can
create our own outcomes. This is why reliving your memory with a
positive end result will allow you to focus on your guaranteed
safety, so when you are actually confronted with your fear, you can
recall this positive outcome as a focal point. The results of this
method will astound you. You can also use this strategy for many
other situations, issues, and worries that you may experience.
Your brain and imagination can be fantastic tools. If your mind can
create negative images so easily, then creating positive ones
should come just as easy. It just takes time and practice. But, I
have unwavering faith in you, and I know that, after reading this
book, you will have the same faith in yourself as well.
In summary, it is best to first understand your fear before
attempting to tackle it. Discover as much as you can about the
fear, and then, create a plan to overcome it. Imagine and relive
your fearful situation with positive outcomes, so you can feel

comfortable when actually confronting it. But most importantly,

have faith in your ability to overcome all your fears and obstacles.
*****************
Minute Motivator
Fear is often the unknown. There are many things in life you
have overcome already, so continue taking a stand. You are
strong, focused, and determined. So, the next time you
encounter a personal fear, do not run and hide. Face it. Grab it
by the horns. Take control.
*****************

Understanding Change
Ever heard, Change is the spice of life? In so many ways, that
statement is so very true.
Change in your life is inevitable. Its bound to happen whether you
want it to or not. Some change is good and some is bad, but as the
old saying goes, You have to take the good with the bad.
Imagine a world where everything remained stagnant, never
changing. What would that be like? Everything would be
predictable. There would be no inspiration. Nothing would be
spontaneous. People would be like robots, performing the exact
same tasks day in and day out.
Our minds would cry out for stimulation and growth, never to be
answered. The human mind needs to be massaged and provided
with new, exciting challenges to keep us on our toes. Without
change and stimulation, we might as well just throw the towel in, sit
back, and watch the world pass us by. Without change, we would
never be capable of truly challenging our minds or putting our best
foot forward. What an uneventful, boring world that would be!
When change does occur, it can affect us in so many ways. Even
now when I experience change, I face fear. Unsure of how it will
affect my life, debating whether or not I made the right decision,
and juggling possible regrets are all part of tackling change (even
for adults).

Quite frankly, when do we ever know 100% that the moments

right? And the answer is, we dont, but we have to have faith in our
own ability to make the best of every situation. We can stack the
deck in our favor because our minds control our actions (and thus
the outcome), and we control our minds.
We must accept that we need change, and let go of the old to
make way for the new. The best cure for acceptance is time. Time
allows change to settle into our lives. Its like when you move into a
new house or accept a new job. Its all daunting and yet exciting at
the same time, but then after a while, it becomes second nature.
The fear fades away as you become more comfortable with the
situation.
I believe comfortable is a key word in this process. Its a word
which implies that in order to accept change, you must first
understand it. The next step is to accept your fear, and take steps
to eliminate it. Lastly, find comfort in your fear, completely
eradicating the actual fear and worry itself.
So, fearlessly, we tackle Exercise 8:
*****************

Exercise 8
When faced with change, it is often useful to ask yourself
these four questions to aid in maintaining your focus (Feel
free to jot your answers down in your journal):
1. What is it that I am seeking from this change?
2. What do I see as the possible outcome(s)?
3. Will I gain or lose from this change?
4. Will anyone get hurt in this process?
These questions are designed to get you to stop and think
about your actions. If you are starting to fear the outcome of a
situation and you go into a panic, how will that affect the
people around you? What if you grow angry and become
frustrated with people because you are uncomfortable with
this new change?
*****************

These are all helpful questions to keep in mind after you freeze
frame the situation, look at it from a better angle, make a wise
decision, and initiate the end result you desire.
And, that concludes Step One (Can you believe it?).
Emotional strength will be mentioned again in Step Two, as you
will need to reevaluate yours when revising your core beliefs (if it is
interfering with your progress).
I hope at this point you understand that confidence and control are
the two main players (or triggers) involved in altering your
emotions. Without these two, you will attract more negatives than
positives, creating false beliefs and limitations. This would not be
advantageous because we do not want more barriers blocking our
path, making it difficult to clear again.

End of Step One Summary

To conclude this first step regarding emotional strength, I am going
to present a short recap for you (just the main points so you can
confirm that you are on the right track).
1. Emotional strength is the main key to making a successful
change in your life.
2. Take some decisive steps towards setting goals in life that you
desire to achieve.
3. Understand that body language has a huge impact on your
physical state and can be seen (and interpreted) by the people you
interact with.
4. Identify your fears. Understand your fears inside and out.
Replay films (in your mind), where you overcome a specific fear
over and over again. Gain a clear and positive mindset.
5. Understand your emotions, so you can begin building
confidence. Courage and focus on the desired change are both
great attributes.
6. Change is inevitable, and it will happen. Sometimes, its forced

upon us, and sometimes, its our own choice. However, either way,
having strong, emotional strength will allow you to create a solid
purpose and meaning behind your change (adapting accordingly to
the circumstances).
Section 2 is titled, Aligning Your Blue Print. In this section, I will
explain how your values and inner conflicts affect your actions
today

Chapter 2 - STEP 2- Align Your Blue Print

Belief

Does it
limit
you?

Shifting
your
focus

Create a
new
belief

So, what is a belief?

It is a feeling of absolute certainty of what something means to
you. Beliefs can change, and sometimes, childhood beliefs must
be completely eradicated (if they are blocking you from achieving
progress in your current situation).
It is very true that often happy people become happier, and sad
people attract more sadness. This is because their mentality
determines their outcomes. Let me ask you, does your blue print
match your current situation? Meaning: Do who you are as a
person and what you believe in truly represent the lifestyle you
have at the moment?

What stops us from having the life we want? Its a good question,
right?
Lets take a deeper look into who you have been brought up to be,
your life experiences, and your current beliefs. This is important in
determining whether or not you have inner conflicts with your
emotional strength.
Your body map consists of who you think you should be: your
deepest desires, your expectations of life, and your state of
happiness. If youre reading this already knowing that youre
unhappy, then this part of the book will unlock some enlightening
answers for you.
You can change your situation, your appearance, your career, and
even your relationships, but until you truly identify your deepest
desires, you wont be happy (especially if your current desires
include trying to make someone else happy).
Many people find themselves in relationships where their partner
wants them to change because they are not happy with who they
are. There is an unhealthy abundance of expectation in the
relationship. Unless two people accept each other for what they
are, there will always be conflict. No matter the circumstances, you
must realize that you should only change if its for you. Never
change for someone else.
First, lets figure out what your body map looks like. Hopefully, the
previous sections have helped with this (or at least made it
clearer), showing you what it is that you truly want and desire in
life. Completely forget about everyone else around you for the
moment.
Close your eyes, if necessary, and sincerely think about what it is
in life that you want (whether its a family, a good career, love,
good health, fitness, or success). Now ask yourself, Does my
current life situation match my body map?
If your answer is no, then you need to make some changes. If
your answer is yes, then great! Im really happy for you, and now
you can set your sights on getting more fulfillment out of life.

So, if your body map doesnt match your life situation, why doesnt
it? Thats the real question, right? What has happened (or not
happened) for this to occur?
Its interesting to know that unhappy people rarely blame
themselves for what happens to them. They are more apt to blame
others for their situation, giving themselves a false sense of control
for a short while.
However, this is not a cure. They often become confused and
desperate to get out of a situation, and then they turn to self-abuse
methods such as alcoholism, drug addiction, depression, or even
self-deprivation. When a person is in this tragic state, their mind
creates a new reality, and all feelings of hope begin to fade away
because they have lost control of their life.
Even if this has never happened to you, you may have seen it
happen to people you know, love, or care about. My goal is to help
you understand the despair that you or someone else may be
living with on a daily basis.
But, the good news is that every problem has a solution! The key
is to either change your body map/blue print, or adjust your current
situation so that it does match your body map. Its as easy as that!

Depression
The mind is such a powerful tool.
However, it can be friend or foe, depending on the situation. If you
regularly experience sadness, guilt, depression, anger, frustration
and resentment, instead of joy, happiness, love, and excitement,
then you need to discover the root of all of your pain.
What has happened in your life that causes you to feel this way?
Again, the great news is where there is a problem, there is always
a solution.
This may specifically relate to you or you may know someone who
it affects. Do you know someone who is very successful and has
everything they could ever possibly want, but they still appear
depressed all the time?

It is imperative to determine which parts of your depression are

within your control. Think about why the feeling is so powerful and
difficult for you to break away from. You must find other things in
your life that are more important and more valuable to you than
this feeling.
Once you do this, you can adjust your thinking, and refocus on
these new, intriguing entities in your life. A common pattern of poor
body language, unhealthy mental state, and repressed
communication skills often exists in depressed individuals.
You will often notice that someone who is sad or depressed will
show signs of a negative body state; they will lower their head,
slouch their shoulders, and change the way they talk. Its truly an
addictive state that engulfs your thinking and your entire life.
People can very easily and quickly switch gears from sad and
depressed to angry and frustrated, which again will be evident
through different body language.
You may also notice that people use their depressed feelings to
satisfy their emotional cravings, which often results from their
original insecurities. This creates a trigger effect, so when they
think about certain past situations in their life, it triggers instant
sadness. When an individual gets caught in this vicious cycle for a
few years, it becomes second nature to them. Their mind then
recreates an alternate reality within itself, so they go round and
round in a never ending circle.
Now the idea is to break this pattern or circle by concentrating on a
positive emotion, such as pure excitement or happiness. Think
back to a time where you experienced joy. Live in that moment
again. Close your eyes, and see what comes into your mind. Now,
focus on how you felt. Think about exactly where you were, and
recreate the positive intensity within yourself.
Realize that depression is usually related to past events, so
choose to remember the happy parts of your past. If you cant put
the past behind you, then relive the good rather than the bad. That
cant hurt, right? Even in the past, you can still focus on the
positive.

So, what element would you say you focus on the most? The past,
present or future? I ask because each one has a very different
impact.
The past is often where depression, regret, and sadness lives. It is
here where you relive previous experiences, and dwell on them.
They consume your thoughts, and you spend precious time
wishing that you could change the past.
So, what if you are constantly focused on the present? Well, this
is, indeed, better than the past but still has its drawbacks. You are
probably the kind of person that is well equipped to deal with
situations and problems in everyday life. You live one day at a
time, not wanting to think about the future.
Lastly, do you focus purely on the future? If so, you are most likely
a great anticipator because you have dreams, visions, and desires
which keep you focused. You have designated a path to your
success and have a plan to get there. You use the present to fulfill
your needs.
Which one of the three do you think is the best category to be in?
Well, its clearly not the past. The past wont solve your problems.
Reliving your fears and experiences will only bring you down. And,
the present will give you fulfillment, but you will be limited in your
desires. You need to set your sights higher, have a clear vision,
and strive to achieve your deepest needs and desires. So, start
focusing on the future today!
If you know someone who is depressed and needs help, approach
them, and try to help them establish the root of their unhappiness.
Depression and sadness almost always relates to insecurities and
past experiences that one had no control over. Unfortunately,
these feelings of helplessness often manifest into negative
thoughts and emotions. We all have the power to help others heal,
and its truly a great feeling of accomplishment when youre a part
of that process.
Essentially, you need to take a real long good look at your current
situation, your home life, your relationships, your career, your
health, and your financial situation. You need to closely evaluate
each one to find the triggering cause for your unhappiness. Once

you identify the trigger, you must determine what about that area
of your life makes you unhappy. Is it the people, the environment,
or the circumstances surrounding that situation that cause you
such discontentment? Whatever the cause, you need to fully
understand the root of your unhappiness in order to work through
it.
The key to understanding others is actually knowing yourself inside
and out. Trust me on this one. Once you know your triggers, you
can use them to your advantage. People can be very different, but
they can also be very similar. Knowing yourself will help you to
plan your success, focus on your goals, and muster up the
determination to see things through. SIMPLE.
Emotions are very tricky to handle. From previous experiences to
internal beliefs, the way you interpret situations directly affects how
you feel and how you deal with problems. Having a healthy
mindset gives you the best chance to take positive steps along
your road to success.
However, in order to achieve this, you must recognize your
strengths, and be aware of your weaknesses. It would be foolish to
ignore your weaknesses, as you would then not know them when
you saw them. Its crucial to be honest and realistic with yourself.
Its interesting to find that most people have never been properly
taught how to handle their emotions. Therefore, its so easy to feel
as if youre losing control of your life - hence why people fall into a
depressed state and become frustrated. They go through a spiral
of uncontrollable emotions including sadness, anger, pain, and
aggression. All of these are a direct result of losing focus, as well
as losing control of your thoughts.
So, ask yourself these questions (to see how well you know
yourself):
1. How well do you know yourself?
2. Do you know what makes you tick?
3. What angers you?
4. What makes you happy?
5. Do you know how to resist temptation?
6. Do you know how to pick yourself up when you get emotionally
knocked down?
7. Are you pessimistic?

8. Do you generalize every situation?

So, howd you do? Are you truly in touch with your own thoughts
and feelings?
Now, lets look at some examples. Someone who generalizes
every situation would normally say something like, Someone
down the street was burglarized the other night, so now no one is
safe anymore, or, Things always go wrong for me. Is this you?
Having these thoughts means you need some convincing when
making assumptions about life and what goes on around you. The
downside to this way of thinking is that its often extremely
negative. And, we dont want to attract more negativity, do we? So,
in order to break this cycle, you need to revaluate your views of the
world, and focus on more positive outcomes. Its easy. Just open
your mind to other positive possibilities.
Are you someone who has a black and white approach to the
world (where theres no gray area)? Do you feel that life will either
work out or it wont? People with this line of thinking are usually
defensive and are not open to compromise. They can, at times,
forcefully impose their own beliefs on other people. A good way to
combat this way of thinking is to freeze frame situations, opening
yourself up to the possibility that other avenues to explore may
exist.
In order to have a natural and healthy love for yourself, you need
to realize that the past is in the past (and thats where it stays). It
may define who you are today, but it doesnt have to decide who
you will be in the future. You cant turn back the hands of time
(though that would be an awesome experience). You must realize
that we live and learn for a reason. Its merely one of lifes crazy
little tests to see just how much you can juggle.

Keeping Anger at Bay

Are you an Angry Amy (Yes, she is Negative Nancys sister)?
The main issue angry people have is that they believe they are
mind readers and assume that everything is directed at them. They
take everything personally.

When anger strikes, it can be both physical and mental. Anger is a

form of build-up resentment towards others. Many angry people
make the assumption that people are out to get them. They feel
that in order to regain control, they have to be hurtful,
manipulative, and selfish.
Anger is instantaneous and sends quick adrenaline rushes
throughout your body unexpectedly. When people are angry they
often force the same conversations to be had over and over again,
until they feel they have proven their point. This kind of behavior
relates directly to an element of situational control (or lack of
thereof).
Anger sits at the opposite end of the spectrum from sadness. This
emotional spectrum affects the body in many different ways. Anger
usually causes the body to tense and seize up. An angry
individuals blood pressure may shoot through the roof, lending a
hand to vision impairment as well (red mist syndrome). Anger
takes an extreme toll on the body, both mentally and physically.
Other symptoms of anger include:
Red Mist syndrome
Tight muscles
Change in body language (a more aggressive stance)
Headaches
Take a moment to think about what other symptoms you exhibit
when you get angry. Can you add to this list?
Go ahead and jot down your anger symptoms in your journal.
It is a good idea to identify what might trigger your anger or others
anger. So, ask yourself the following (you can add these answers
to your journal entry as well):
1. When do I get angry?
2. Do I get angry when I make a mistake?
3. Do I get angry when no one listens to me?
4. Do I get angry at certain people? If so why?
Some great tips for nipping the angry monster in the rear are:

1. Completely remove yourself from the situation. Walking away

will prompt you to calm down.
2. Imagine, in your mind, what could happen (including
consequences) if you carried out your angry actions and threats.
This should be done in any hostile situation.
3. Take some slow, deep breaths to relax and settle down. This
will begin to soothe and calm your body, but it will not work
immediately. Continue this process for a few minutes.
4. Consider the possible outcomes and whether theyre beneficial
to you or not. Will you end up being even more upset if this
situation does not go your way? Will you lose self-respect or the
respect of others?
5. Be prepared with a focus trigger. Have something peaceful and
calming (a good memory or thought) handy in your mind, and
when you feel the early stages of your anger building, use this
trigger to refocus yourself in a positive manner.
Ultimately, the best way to deal with anger is to resolve the tension
lurking within you. Usually there is built up resentment and anguish
causing you to want to move into the angry zone. Try to talk and
communicate your feeling with others whom you trust. Share your
problems, and search for a feasible solution that will yield a
positive outcome rather than a fit of rage.
Most of the anger we harbor is just a smoke-screen, hiding past
experiences that elicit negative emotions when certain triggers are
set off. If you grew up around people, who you deemed as role
models, that displayed anger as one of their primary emotions, it is
only natural that these reactions would be passed on to you.
If this is not the case, perhaps the anger actually belongs to
someone else, and they are emitting their frustrations onto you.
For example, an unhappy partner who exhibits anger regularly can
make you feel confused and frustrated. When you are unable to
understand what is going on, this causes frustration to build within
you, and you will eventually release or vent this anger back
towards them or towards others.

So, in this type of situation, it would be best to resolve the anger

issues with the person who is passing these addictive emotions on
to you. However, this may not always be immediately possible.
Please note that sometimes forgiveness is not necessarily always
the answer.
If the person is not ready to forgive and forget just yet, the best
thing to do is direct the energy and power of their anger towards a
positive outcome. Maybe focus on and aim your partners angry
energy towards progress in a career, hobby, or relationship. Pull
the good out of the bad.
The important thing to remember is that every human being is
driven to do what they feel is best for themselves at that particular
moment, given the information known. Humans prioritize their
values and beliefs, and upon making a decision, they sometimes
cause pain to others around them because their decision directly
conflicts with someone elses priorities.
I think the best example for this is relationships. When two people
have different values and needs in life, they slowly begin to drift
apart. This results in one of them struggling to make the
relationship work (because family is most important to them), while
the other party is more focused on their own career and
professional progression. Instant friction and frustration ignites,
and when we do not have control, we are suddenly thrown into an
emotional cycle of sadness, depression, frustration, and anger.
This cycle can have a significant impact on children as well.
The best way to combat these types of situations is to not only
understand your own values and needs but also those of your
partner. You must truly decide together, through open and honest
communication, what you both want to achieve together. You will
find sharing together will lead to the creation of new, joint beliefs
and needs. Then, you both will be on the same path, feel
connected, and remain anger free (at least most of the time).
Anger really can be replaced with happiness.

Values and beliefs

What are your values? Have you ever really thought about them?

What is important to you right now? How do you value your life,
your family, your friends, your career, your wealth, your opinions,
and your beliefs? How is your relationship or marriage? Is family
important to you, or are you more career driven?
Your values and beliefs guide your thinking for the future. Have
you ever had a gut feeling that something was wrong? Well, those
kinds of feelings are linked to your subconscious. Theyre often
telling you to slow down, and think about all the options you have
available before making any rash decisions.
So, what do you do? Should you ignore your gut? What if it turns
out to be a bad decision? You could be left wishing you had gone
with your gut. In most cases, your gut doesnt steer you wrong.
How you were brought up is also very crucial in understanding
your value system. How were you raised? Did you take on any of
your parents beliefs or views? Did you grow up as an only child, or
did you have a large family? Did your mom or dad raise you raise
you as a single parent?
All these things factor into understanding who you really are and
what you believe. For example, if you were raised in poverty,
providing for your family may be a top priority for you. On the flip
side, you may have grown up in the lap of luxury, which may have
made you less appreciative of the good things in life, taking
everything and everyone for granted.
I want you to also think about the habits you may have picked up
while growing up. Are there any that have affected your life in a
negative way? If so, how can you shift that focus and change your
habits?
This book will encourage you to concentrate on your strengths;
however, you do need to also be aware of your weaknesses. At
some point in time, you will realize that many weaknesses can
simply be erased from your life as you gain emotional strength.
I like to think of it as a game of inches. Each positive thing that
happens to you (or that you do) equals a gained inch. As you start
collecting inches, they collectively become something even
greater. As the months pass by, you will start to notice the physical
changes that are taking place. Why? Because you are changing

the course of your life! Its almost like a boat trip. If you change the
coordinates of your destination, you will begin to head in a different
(positive) direction.
So, whats holding you back? Have you ever said or heard others
make comments like:
I Cant.
Im no good at that.
I get easily distracted.
I wont try that.
Why cant I do that?
Its because you have created a sense of self-doubt that hinders
your actions and thoughts of success.
So, what can you do to instantly eradicate these negative beliefs
and replace them with better values? Well again, you have to
analyze each belief separately.
What is it that makes you feel like you cant do that particular
thing? Have you actually tried to do it and failed? Did you put
enough time and effort into learning about it? Sometimes, its just
not that important to you, and some things in life wont be (and
thats okay). However, life is about working around the obstacles in
your way, realizing why they were placed in your life, and learning
how to shift them in your favor.
Imagine accepting a new belief. Imagine the results that could be
possible if you put time and effort into your endeavor. For example,
maybe youve always said, I cant do math! First, identify why you
cant complete the task. Is it a lack of understanding? If so, then
you have your first step. You need to LEARN math. You can adopt
a learning method that suits you to improve your understanding,
focus your efforts, and achieve success. Problem solved.
You will notice, as I have mentioned before, that youre on an
exciting road to building your solid foundation. If you have spent
the last few months allowing negativity into your life, it will take
some time and effort to now shift your focus to the positives.
However, with some effort, you will quickly train your mind to think
more positively and clearly.

Your feelings and thoughts play a major role in this equation.

Whether you feel anxious, stressed, angry, or sad, all these
feelings will affect your actions and how you handle the situations
you are in. Your thoughts often translate into actions.
If an event occurs that brings you happiness, you will have an
instant surge of confidence, and luckily, positive vibes bounce off
other people. So, your friends and family will naturally take on your
positive or negative energies.
Try visualizing these positive feelings, and experiment with how it
makes you feel. Now, think of a time when you were sad, and
recall the feelings you had. Then, switch back to thinking about a
time that made you happy, excited, and confident again. Do you
feel the difference? Feelings translate into actions, and you can
control your feelings with your thoughts. So, now you can turn your
negative feelings and outcomes into positive ones.
Your mind is like a filter, taking in the information it needs and
disregarding the information it doesnt need. Its a lot like
summarizing events. You pick the out the good bits to hold onto,
while flushing out the unnecessary pieces. Because your brain is
constantly sorting through so many memories, feelings, and
thoughts, sometimes you will not remember all the little details,
good and bad.
This leads me to the topic of freeze framing a situation and
looking at it from different perspectives. Lets now think of a
positive memory, something that made you happy. Take that
image or situation, and freeze it inside your head. Got it? Now,
think about what made it a good memory. What was your mental
state at that time? Were you happy or sad? Id bet money on the
fact that you were happy. Am I right?
You put yourself into that positive state, and you encouraged
positive outcomes. I want you to realize that this positive, happy
state was 100% in your control. You put yourself in that specific
mood, and you allowed things to make you happy.
On the flip side, have you noticed that if you are unhappy, nothing
else seems to have the power to change your negative thoughts,
mood, or emotions? This is because you created your negative
mood, not anyone else. So, only YOU can change it!

I hope you are starting to understand that before progress can take
place you must discover and fully understand who you truly are,
how you were raised, and what values and beliefs you hold dear.
Your experiences all reflect your current day to day living. So, if
youre not happy with your current situation, its clear that you have
a conflicting belief system that doesnt align with your current
lifestyle. But, the good news is, you, and ONLY YOU, have the
power to make a change, and choose happiness!

Should vs. Must

Each time an event occurs, we create an emotional link from that
event to either pleasure or pain. If you accidently burn yourself,
nerve receptors send a message of instant pain to the brain telling
you, Ouch! Dont do that! Its the same with the chocoholics,
people who associate eating chocolate with pleasure (Yes, I admit
I am one of them, and proud of it). With every event, we make
associations. Its the same when deciding whether something in
our life is a must or a should. And, yes, there is definitely a
difference.
Here are some should statements:
I should go to the gym.
I should clean the house.
I should get a job.
I should go on a diet.
All of these should statements are said without conviction. Its
basically like saying, Yeah, I would love to do that, but I have
better things to do. The chances are you will never get round to
doing the should stuff because you will always find other things
more important to do and get side tracked.
Now, compare them to the must statements:
I must become dedicated to my work.
I must ensure that my family has what they need.
I must create my own success story.
I must go to the gym at least three times a week.

I must has more punch to it, dont you agree? If you were hanging
off the edge of a cliff (holding on for dear life) would you rather
your friend say, Hey, we should save him/her or Hey, we MUST
save him/her! I dont know about you, but I would go with the
must.
In your next conversation, throw a few must statements into the
mix, and gauge the response you receive from others around you.
You will find people respond positively to this line of thinking, and
they will be saying to themselves, Wow, he actually means what
he says.
So, identify and define what it is you want in life. Make your goals
into must statements, and put them into action. This is the very
reason why right from the start of this book, I have encouraged you
to start thinking about what it is you want out of life. Keep these
goals fresh in your mind on a daily basis. Your aim is to create a
definitive list of actions that become must statements for you
(rather than should statements).
Now, we must hop right into Exercise 9:
*****************

Exercise 9
Now, after talking extensively about core values and beliefs, I
want you to try this. In your journal, write down all of your
core values (things you truly believe in). What is important to
you?
Following that, I want you to write down words that you
associate with these values (see examples below):
Energy Children and being active
Power Confidence and significance
Teamwork Progress at work and better relationships
Achievement Success and recognition
The purpose of this exercise is for you to not only discover
whats important to you, but its also helpful to see what you
associate with these values.

I will talk more about should vs. must in a bit, when we

discuss rituals and standards.
*****************

Minute Motivator
Do not let time get the better of you. Seize the moment, and
enjoy life with every chance you get. Always aim to improve
your situation. Make tiny changes every day, and earn your
own self-respect. Write your own success story.
Show the people around you that you have the heart,
conviction, and sheer determination to break down any
emotional door, and smash your way through to success.
Make yourself better, my friend. I believe in you!
*****************

End of Step Two Summary

The main point I wanted to make in Step 2 is that once you
understand the concepts of how important emotional strength
works, its time to truly discover the roots of who you really are
inside. So, heres a quick review of Step 2 (Dont you just love
when things rhyme?):
1. A belief is having absolute certainty in something that guides
you along your chosen path.
2. Understand your upbringing, and use the exercises available to
identify your beliefs and values. It is possible to change your belief
system, creating new beliefs that align with your blue print (and do
not cause any internal conflicts).
3. Depression can be linked to past, internal issues that have not
been fully resolved that can lead to anger. Therefore, its even
more important to identify your values, change beliefs that arent in
alignment with your life, and seek happiness.
4. Define what it is you want in life. Understand the difference
between a must and a should statement, and create a new set of
new standards for yourself. If life is not working for you, then

change the game. Move the goal posts until you can score a
touchdown.

Chapter 3 - Step 3- PROGRESS = HAPPINESS 28-Day

Guide

Goal

Happiness

Progress

Find your
purpose

Create a
vision

As you have probably guessed already, I am a big believer in two

things: (1) Making progress in life that results in happiness, and (2)
doing the right thing at the wrong time can cause significant pain. If
you plant flowers just before winter hits, what do you think is going
to happen? Not the best results you could hope for, I can assure
you.
So, knowing when to make the right decision at the right time is
key. Having the right frame of mind and your body map (or blue
print) aligned with who you are is a recipe for success. These are
both steps in the right direction which will help you in formulating
educated guesses, making good decisions, and getting fabulous
results. If and when the result is not what you wanted, you simply
pick yourself up, and try again and again and again, until you get
the desired result.
It is okay to wish for a new life, but progress is the mechanism
which will get you there. Progress is such a fun concept. Its ever-

changing, never stagnant, and will always produce results

(whether good or bad).
You decide the outcome, and you must realize things change
constantly. Its almost automatic. Our bodies change. The
environment changes. Your friends change. And, all this happens
whether you move a muscle or not. So, you have to take control of
your life, and ensure that when change happens, its in a positive
manner and in your favor.
Taking tiny steps will eventually make a huge, ever-lasting impact
on your life, while also affecting the people around you. Now you
have the fun and inspiring challenge of keeping yourself motivated
and focused on what you want to accomplish. Keep your eye on
the prize!
For example, lets take a look at New Years resolutions. Why do
people have to wait until the 1st of January to start a new change
or challenge? Every month can be a new month for change. Dont
wait until the end of the year to achieve your goals and dreams.
The calendar seems to serve as a concrete guide for many people.
You will hear people say, Ahh, I will start the diet in January, or I
will get these next few months out of the way, and Ill start fresh
then.
People who plan to achieve things in the distant future have less
chance of following through. Do you know why? Its simple.
Procrastination allows you time to come up with various reasons to
put things off, and soon, it just becomes wishful thinking.
Think back to people you know who have talked about their New
Years resolutions and made promises to themselves like:
Im going to quit smoking!
Im going to lose weight, and join a gym!
Im going to run a marathon!
The problem with these statements is that they all consist of what
you are going to do and have no true meaning, timeline, or
inspiration behind them.
Look at the difference:

Im going to join the gym today, and be healthy!

Im going to start enjoying life and the people around me, so I will
quit smoking now, and be happy!
You need to have positive visions, and more importantly, you
should have positive reasons for wanting these changes. You
need to create something meaningful to you. Make it compelling
and attractive, so youll want to immerse yourself in the process of
reaching it. Make it a change that you must do rather than just one
you should do (must vs. should see how I snuck it in there
again?).
Look back at those people you knew that came to mind when we
were talking about New Years resolutions. Have they achieved
their goals? If they have, thats fantastic! It may help you to ask
them about their journey, what motivated them, how difficult the
changes they made were, and how they stayed dedicated and
determined to see their goal through.
If those people didnt quite achieve their goals or resolutions (and
ended up calling it quits at the gym after 2 months), it may help
you to take a look at why. What made them give up? Why did they
throw in towel? You can learn from others mistakes.
You will often find that people who do not reach their goals come
up with a whole laundry list of negative excuses like:
I didnt have enough time.
Something else got in the way.
I have a very stressful job.
Im not happy in my relationship.
Nobody would help me.
I had to do it all by myself, and I just got worn out.
I dont feel loved like I used to.
No matter what the reason, every excuse serves as an inner
barrier or obstacle that they have created to reassure themselves
that they did not really fail. People make excuses because they
didnt go out and make a difference in their own life, and they dont
want to shoulder the blame. Its always easier to pass the side dish
of blame around the table. However, if you are serious about
creating a fulfilling life for yourself, you must wrestle with these
inner conflicts.

You need to raise your standards and your beliefs! You need to
make these everlasting changes a must rather than a should.
Find the reason, and create the hunger behind it. You need to
immerse yourself in the change, breathing it in every day.
Look at your body! Go ahead. Right now, look at your body. This
defines who you are. If you are muscular and athletic, then you
have already created your world and an environment that revolves
around good health and fitness. You must go to the gym. You
found a burning desire within yourself, and you feel great every
time you leave the gym or finish exercising.
If youre over weight, then again, this mirrors your standards. You
value food and comfort more than anything else, and this figures
into your blue print. In order to change, you need to have strong
reasons and a real vision. Now, this is only an example. Some
people who are overweight are more than happy with themselves.
This is because they understand who they are and are confident in
themselves, and thats great! Its up to you to decide what makes
you happy (and if youre not happy - why not?).
You need rituals and standards! Ive said it already, but I really
want to drum this in because it is so important for progress. Look
at what you do every day, your daily routine. What are your rituals?
Grab your journal, and write them down! You will find after reading
this book, you will be programed to write more than you have ever
done before.
I cannot stress this enough - who you are today is a direct result of
your childhood, your upbringing, your experiences, your
relationships, and your financial background. Despite what your
circumstances were, you are now in a position to look back,
review, and analyze your beliefs, and assess if they match your
current lifestyle.
Discover why you are who you are and why you do what you do.
This is especially important if you know you are not happy and that
something inside of you is holding you back. Find the issue, and
resolve it. This will put you on your way to making good progress.
Merely having great focus is still not enough to establish everlasting change; you will need the tools as well. The right mentor,

the right environment, and the right mindset are all still key factors
in your equation for success.
If you desire to be healthy but eat pizza every day, youre not
going to end up with the desired results. You may be focused, but
it is on the wrong thing. ALIGN YOURSELF with the right path. If
you want to be healthy, then gather the right tools (i.e. a diet plan,
a trainer, an exercise routine, etc.). Use professionals around you.
Go to the local gym and ask for help. Make sure you have clear,
established goals in mind, and research how you are going to
achieve them. Immerse yourself completely in your journey, and
you will begin to truly feel your results (rather than just imagining
about them).
So, what small, simple things can you do to maintain a strong,
peak mental state? The very best thing is to have some alone time
each day. A moment to yourself without noise, confusion, or
pressures from the outside world. Its a fantastic way to recharge
your battery in a short period of time. So, here are some
recharging suggestions:
1. Join a gym - This is a great way to unwind and release tension.
When you exercise, your body releases endorphins, which will
relax you, keep you alert, and put you in a good frame of mind.
Youre sure to be ready for whatever comes next!
2. Road running - If the gym is too expensive but you enjoy
exercising, just go for a run and listen to some music. This is more
than sufficient personal, thinking time.
3. Beauty treatments Yes, guys, I am talking to you as well. You
do not have to paint your nails pink, but having a 30-minute neck
and shoulder massage is the perfect way to unwind after a hard
day in the office or at home.
4. Coffee break - What better way to relax than to take a nice little
coffee break? Just visualize sitting down, closing your eyes for a
few seconds, and taking a deep breath, while soaking in the
peaceful moment. Sounds relaxing, doesnt it?
5. Sleep your way to success - How much sleep are you getting at
the moment? Could you squeeze in more? Even an extra 30

minutes to an hour per day will pay huge dividends in the long run.
After a few weeks, you will feel revitalized, and ready to go!
6. Introduce a healthy diet - When change hits home, sometimes
people eat because they are anxious and psychologically find
comfort in the food they eat. The problem with this behavior is,
after a few months, the pounds begin to pack on, and it negatively
affects your health. Keep a healthy balanced diet. Try to eat fresh
fruit, vegetables, and good carbs. You will soon find that your diet
keeps you in great shape and gives you a proactive mind. NO
CHOCOLATE or junk food stashing. Save the good sweets for
treats!
1. Pay for life coaching sessions - Having open, arranged
sessions can give you the opportunity to blow off some steam,
and talk to a professional about any burning issues in your life.
A problem solved is a problem shared.
2. Keep a diary/journal - Writing can be therapeutic. Just by
spending five minutes a day openly writing about how you feel
(or noting challenges), you can create a greater sense of vision,
and keep a steady focus on the future.
3. Expand your creative side - Start a new hobby, or pick up where
you left off on your last one. Doing this will keep your mind
sharp, keep you focused, and provide some fun.
Small incentives will keep you focused and on track. You will soon
apply these to your daily life without thinking, and it will become
second nature.

Boosting Self-esteem
Now, lets talk about self-esteem.
There are many things you can do to not only understand the
concept of self-esteem but to also build it back up or revive it (if
yours has been stomped on). People with low self-esteem often
show signs of shame and fear. They create core beliefs that make
them feel comfortable about themselves. However, when their core
beliefs conflict (or break down), they often feel let down, ashamed,

or hurt. The main cause of all this is creating standards that are
unrealistic and unachievable, which quickly leads to failure.
In order to improve your self-esteem, it is best to make sure you
have three fundamental beliefs at the core of your thinking
process. They are growth, freedom, and personal development.
Any belief that conflicts with these three fundamentals can cause
trouble in paradise.
An example of this would be living by the belief that, I should
always put others first. You might then create the rule, I must
avoid saying no to people. These beliefs or assumptions can be
limiting, harmful to self-esteem development, and inherited from
your childhood.
Lets take a look at Exercise 10:
*****************

Exercise 10
Think about your values and the assumptions you make
about life. Then apply the rules you have associated with
them. Are your rules limiting? Are they inherited? Do they
work with your beliefs, or are you on the road to failure?
Grab your journal, and write out, in a simple list, your values.
Then, next to each one, write the rules you associate with it as
well.
*****************
People with low self-esteem have been programmed, since
childhood, through negative messages which have been
permanently imprinted on their minds. If your parents repeatedly
told you, You cant do that, or Youre useless, you would begin
to believe it at some point. It is these negative words that create
an unhealthy lack of self-worth in individuals.
Children need warmth, affection, and certainty. If these core needs
are not met, their future can be affected in many ways. On the flip
side, when parents expect too much from their children, it can lead
to a lingering sense of failure because the tasks presented are
unachievable or the bar is set too high. When these unrealistic

standards are not met, the child is left feeling worthless and
unfulfilled.
Even worse than this is being a victim of abuse, whether physically
or mentally. When something bad happens, an abuse victims
immediate thought is, I am being punished for this. Trauma
leaves a heavy burden of feeling powerless and unable to deal
with lifes obstacles effectively.
Aside from childhood, there are also the effects of peer pressure
from the people you associate with. In many instances, when their
expectations are not met, you may be made to feel ashamed or
worthless.
A lot of people with poor self-esteem sit on their dreams and goals
for years due to a constant, negative thought process, which tells
them they are not good enough to make their dreams a reality.
They truly believe their dreams will never come true or work, so
they ask themselves, Whats really the point in trying? These
feelings can attribute to constant anger directed at life or at other
people.
*****************
Minute Motivator
A friend who puts you down is not a friend at all. Surround
yourself with people who bring the best out in you. You will
definitely see the change in your energy levels and attitude
immediately when you are around positive influences. They
will also help you develop your interpersonal skills which will
make you a more versatile individual.
*****************
So, what can you do to repair or rebuild your self-respect or selfesteem? Many people who do not respect themselves often let
their appearances go, not keeping up with personal hygiene or
basic cleanliness. Therefore, the first step is always to begin with
yourself.
1. Start a new diet, and join a gym to begin building a new you.

2. Adopt the philosophy that small rewards should be obtained

after achieving success in tiny steps. Reward yourself when you
achieve something, whether big or small. This will give you some
self-pride and satisfaction, allowing you to focus on promoting selfdevelopment.
3. Improve your communication skills. Giving yourself the time and
strength to convey your feelings to the people close to you will
allow for self-reflection. Give people the opportunity to help you if
youre struggling. Be more assertive during conversations. Say you
will do something instead of saying that you might.
4. Change your body language. Making eye contact is a positive
sign of confidence. Walk with your head held high.
5. Go ahead, and welcome mistakes. This will allow some room for
criticism, and reinforce the reality that no one is perfect.
Sometimes, you can only do your best and nothing more. Beating
yourself up over a mistake is not healthy or worthwhile.
6. Make mini, achievable goals. This will give you satisfaction, and
reinforce the reality that progress is being made. You can then
celebrate your successes, and learn to appreciate yourself more.
7. In an effort to boost your confidence and self-esteem, create a
list of skills and past achievements in your journal, so you can
revisit these when you need a little pick-me-up. These reminders
will reaffirm the belief that you are a great achiever.
8. Learn to accept that sometimes things wont go your way.
Unfortunately, things will go wrong, and you will feel pain. This is a
part of life, but you cannot let it bring you down or cause you to
suffer. Accept the situation, and find a way to learn and grow from
it.

Attracting Positive Energy

Wow! Positive energy, even the word itself sound motivating,
doesnt it?

Do you believe its possible for things to happen in your life that
you attract or bring on? I personally believe that this definitely
happens and can totally work for you.
The best example I can give (which I know most people can relate
to) is think of a time when you were running extremely late for
something, maybe work. You rushed to your car, and while driving,
you notice that you are hitting every single red light on the planet.
This makes you even more frustrated, and on top of that, the car in
front of you literally could not drive any slower. Your temper flares,
and you end up shouting like a madman in your car at everything
that gets in your way. Sound familiar?
Well, it all has to do with what youre focus on. Had you not been
in a hurry or a frustrated state, your mind would not have
processed each red light as a painful dilemma, and the car in front
of you would not have been such a nuisance. It all has to do with
your perception.
Most likely after this kind of morning, it would be followed with a
lousy day. So, one bad feeling has the potential to ruin your entire
day (all because you were running late). That is the law of
attraction in action. You focus on one bad thing that happened and
allow it to affect your whole day. Thus, a ripple effect takes place.
On the flip side, I am sure you can think of days where you have
woken up, the sun is shining, and you feel like youre on top of the
world. You leave your house on time and are in a great mood.
Other drivers do not bother you. In fact, you barely even notice
them. You even decide to be generous, allowing others to go
ahead of you. Every red light you stop at is no hassle. You just
enjoy what is going on in the world outside, listen to your music,
and get to work in a timely fashion. Thus, a great beginning
equates to a great day. Does that sound familiar to you as well?
Again, all of this is mental. What you focus on, you attract. Where
focus goes energy will flow. Remember that?
Can you see where I am going with all of these examples? My
intention is for you to see that if you start with your internal roots,
rewire your conflicts, create a purpose, find meaning in life, and
make positive steps towards change, you will be successful.

Immerse yourself in the new you. With dedication, motivation, and

focus, you will soon forget the old you.

28 Days to Success- The Walkthrough

I decided to not reveal the actual 28-day walkthrough section until
now because I wanted to equip you first with the fundamentals of
building your understanding about your inner self. You have now
identified your values, core beliefs, and standards, and you
discovered how to overcome issues such as fear and anger before
moving into the actual goal-setting stage.
This is where I hand the baton over to you, and you begin to take
action, starting with tiny steps that will lead to a better life. By now,
you should certainly know what you want to get out of life. Now,
comes the moment to put your words and thoughts into action.
I want you to split a calendar into separate, achievable chunks. Do
not set any unrealistic goals for yourself. This will only cause you
frustration. Start small, and build up your confidence first. As your
confidence grows so, too, will your achievements!
Okay, hang on because here we go!
Days 1- 7
The first week will be used to research, collect your tools, and
digest this e-book. If you havent already (and can), buy a diary
and a journal. This will help you to record your thoughts and
feelings throughout the upcoming weeks.
Your first goal is to create a list of your wants and desires. Write
these out along with the reasons why you want to make each
change. These are contained within the first few exercises of Step
1 (feel free to refer back). Identify your strengths and weaknesses,
and have a clear plan in place.
Take small steps where you build confidence through daily tasks.
These steps may be as simple as communicating with a family
member or loved one, spending some time with someone, or
letting a friend know you care. No matter how small, take a new
step confidently that you would not have had the courage to take
the week before.

Days 8-14
This week and the next should include Steps 2 and 3, which is
going to be difficult. You have now been introduced to the idea that
emotional strength needs to be mastered. This means you must
understand your past and identify your values and beliefs to see if
they align with your current situation and lifestyle.
Take time to rediscover your inner beliefs and core values. The
exercises inside this book are perfect for this. Inside your diary,
make sure to have your daily incantations written out, so you can
verbalize them to keep you focused throughout the week.
Keep your steps and actions small and achievable.
If you have a fear that you want to overcome, now is the time!
Identify it (or them), and design a clear strategy for confronting it
(or them).
If confidence is an issue, make small plans over the next week or
so, and identify days where you can complete minute tasks to
increase your confidence.
Days 15 21
This week should ideally be deemed plan of attack week. You
must have a plan in place. You are now open to what needs to be
done, and you have a clear vision of your path.
You know your beliefs, your values, and your standards. You
should understand if any conflicts exist. You should be focused on
making progress and changing your rituals so that they match your
goals in life. If you are still struggling, then revisit the book again,
and complete the steps and exercises until you are satisfied with
your progress.
1. Ensure that you are using your diary to record emotions.
2. Remember to use your journal to record daily actions, and keep
yourself organized.

3. Recite daily incantations! Say strong, powerful, positive words

before leaving for work or before you start your day. Pretend that
you are telling the world how you are going to take control and
really be someone.
Please note that if your conflicts are an issue, you may need
professional help. Take this opportunity to ask for help, and book
an appointment with a professional therapist. You can also open
up your heart and soul to someone you really trust (a close friend,
spouse, parent, or sibling).
Days 22-28
Its ACTION week!! Every day should be a positive thinking day.
Every morning, you should wake up happy and determined to
make the day yours. Own it, my friend, with all you heart, and be
passionate about what is to come.
Spend the week making yourself happy, overcoming your fears,
and tackling small challenges. If you lack self-esteem, then this is
your week to try new things. Immerse yourself in new pleasures,
so you can let the past flutter away.
Help other people; make this week the week where you help as
many people as possible. Do things for others, but do them for
yourself not for praise. Make solid decisions, and be proactive.
At the end of each week, look back and reflect to see what you
have done. Compose a plan for the next week. Everyone loves a
man with a plan, right?
Once you have completed your goals, go ahead, and move on to
the next area of your life that you feel needs improvement.
Remember, this is ALL ABOUT YOU!
Now, plan your next 28 days, and take your life to the next level!
Here are some action plan examples for key areas of life that most
people can relate to or want to change:
Career- First, identify what it is you dislike about your job. What
skills do you have or want to have that could make it better? If you
desire a complete career move, then start making changes and

updates to your CV or resume. Go to your local job agency, and

upload your CV or resume with them. Start to actively search for
your new dream job, or begin a new part time course to sharpen
your skills.
Health and Fitness Visit your local gym or fitness center, and
ask for an introduction or tour. Research online or speak to a
nutritionist about your diet, and create a new, healthier eating
regiment. Make sure your next meal is a healthy one. Bite the
bullet, and cut out fried foods, chocolate, fats, and bad
carbohydrates. Measure your body weight, and record it each day.
Measuring your progress will allow you to reward yourself, and
take pride in your progress.
Relationships Whether youre in a relationship or not, allocating
enough time for others can be difficult. Using your calendar,
establish certain days to spend with your loved ones, as well as
days where you can be productive, getting chores and work done.
There must be a healthy life balance. More importantly TALK to
your partner/family. Help them understand that you want to spend
more quality time with them and how you intend to do so.
If you are single, maybe try a dating site. Load up some flattering
pictures of your gorgeous self, and create a clear, concise
description of who you are and all your qualities (Try to avoid any
negatives, but be honest).
If dating sites are a no-go for you, its okay. Do not panic! Have
patience, and enjoy your time. Immerse yourself into meeting new
people and friends. You never know who might be around the
corner, just waiting to sweep you off your feet.

End of Step 3 Summary

Start your engines!
Step 3 is all about putting thought into action; it is making things
move with actual goals in place. The calendar provided is an
example for you to edit however you see fit, adding in your own
thoughts and targets.

In addition to the calendar, it is important to continually build your

self-esteem. This way when you do make progress and something
unexpected happens, you wont take several steps backwards and
become demoralized, but rather, you will have the confidence to
carry on.
This links back in with Step 2. Again, its important to understand
how you were raised as a child and how you can become more
open with your thoughts and feelings. This way, when a negative
thought, feeling, or situation does hit you, you can shrug it off, and
bounce back quickly!
Lastly, positive thinking will most definitely put you in good stride
for success. Attracting the good energy surrounding you will
improve your life. Simply having good thoughts from the moment
you wake up can affect your whole day, and keep you focused on
bigger and better things.

Chapter 4 - Step 4 Wealth Management

A wise man will desire no more than what he may get justly, use
soberly, distribute cheerfully, and leave contentedly
-Benjamin Franklin
Along with having the right frame of mind, its a great idea to get
your finances on track. The pressures associated with debt and
financial problems are a major source of stress and one of the
main reasons many people want to make a change in their life.
Your finances reflect you as a person. If you earn a lot of money,
your lifestyle will reflect that. If your funds are limited, again, this
will be reflected by your current circumstances. Its essential to find
a clear direction in which to steer your wealth.
For most of us, money is a major part of our lives. Debt influences
how we spend our remaining money once we have paid off our
monthly debts. Debt causes bankruptcy; debt subdued and
minimized creates financial freedom.
As our world fights to survive the current financial crisis, each of us
faces a similar personal balancing act. We must ask ourselves:

1. Are we confident enough in the economy and our own personal

abilities to risk more debt?
2. Can we be content with what we have accumulated and not
have to fake abundance for the sake of keeping up with the
Jones?
In the midst of all this confusion, the media continues to bombard
us with credit card offers, refinancing deals, reverse mortgages,
and debt consolidation scams.
Suze Orman, author of Nine Steps to Financial Freedom, says:
You will never have financial freedom if you have credit card debt.
It is impossible. Debt of any kind is bondage.
I intend to map out a strategy for surviving and overcoming debt
and achieving financial independence and freedom.
Youll
discover the psychology behind why people fall into debt, stay in
debt, and never achieve true financial freedom.
Then well explore the abundance mindset and how to transform a
debt mentality into a prosperity program. For the sake of this book,
I am going to use America as my example. Forty to sixty million
people are on the brink or over their credit limits. Twenty-five
percent of the adult U.S. population has problem credit. There
has been a 19% increase per year of bankruptcies with the current
rate being 1.5 million per year. The debt to income ratio is 2.5 to 1,
meaning the average person would have to allocate thirty months
of their income solely to pay their debt (with no other expenses
paid or figured into the equation).
Our economy is built upon debt. Many of us live under the
assumption that debt is a necessary part of life that drives the
economy (so not true). Many households would be broke if they
operated like a business, trapped beneath piling bills and interest.
Debt does not fuel the economy; it only suffocates it. It does not
nurture growth; it stunts and poisons it. Extreme debt is not a
fundamental organ in the body of commerce; it is an aberration, a
spreading of cancer, which disrupts the circulation of healthy trade.
Debt, in large, is unnecessary.

Of course, debt can be very useful if you need to buy a home or

finance a business. The good news is that over the last year or so,
people have made more of a concerted effort to save and reduce
credit card debt. Due to this trend, consumers will also be
affected, through mortgages, car loans, credit cards, and student
loans. This will cause slower economic growth and potentially
weaken the job market.
Your relationship with money dates back to some of your earliest
relationships formed. Family dynamics play a huge part in the way
you interpret money and finances.
What were the money messages you received growing up? How
did your parents handle or talk about money? Did they have
enough money? Were they constantly comparing their money with
wealthier people in the community? Did they argue over money?
Did they try to buy your love and respect with things instead of
touch and empathy? What you learned about money as a child
influences your attitudes and actions around money today, and
you may need to free yourself of this negativity toward having
money mentality.
Many people obsess and strive excessively to be wealthy and
instead become emotionally poor. Their relationships suffer
because they dwell on becoming rich rather than working on their
relationships. This stems from a power struggle over control. On
one hand, the person craves money to equalize a power
relationship where he might have often been told, As long as you
live in this house, you wont! The attention to accumulating wealth,
attention to the price and value of possessions, and the obsession
with the wealth of others sits at one end of the spectrum.
On the other hand, a person may stick his head in the sand,
pretending money issues dont concern him. This obsession to
accumulate more and more money, possessions, prestige, control,
and honor puts his relationships, health, and other interests at risk.
These kinds of people expect money to bring them happiness.
Children and spouses become distractions on the way to the
Promise Land of Wealth and Prestige. Relationships become
power struggles, where money becomes their idol and creates a
disease of isolation. All decisions, discussions, and relationships
revolve around money, which yields power and control.

Being in debt, as I mentioned earlier can lead to depression.

People work so hard to achieve their dreams, and when their
expectations are not met, they turn to debt, spending, gambling,
and sometimes unsafe deal-making to recuse themselves. This will
only make their financial situation much worse. There are people
who have a profound feeling of shame around money. They live in
fear and despair of ever being able to turn their life around and
become debt free. These people most likely grew up in families
where there was not enough to go around.
When losing control financially, it affects our relationships, jobs,
health, and money. Some people incur more debt despite
negative, emotional, financial consequences. Losing control can
spur anxiety related issues and cause further debt problems if the
person is pushed into making hasty decisions while trying to
resolve a situation.
With compulsive spenders, they, too, always end up in debt unless
they have a magical money tree (Havent you just always wanted
one of those?). They feel that they have to have something now,
even though they have lived without it for years. This is linked to
an inability to accept limits from others or self-imposed limits. Even
when they buy what they desire, they still do not feel satisfied, and
the cycle of craving repeats.
The advantages of reducing debt include that you will have more
savings and expendable income at your disposal (instead of
wasting most of your hard earned cash paying off interest and
credit). The object is to become financially free to save money, and
create your own wealth. When reducing debt, you can also reduce
the emotional scars which money sometimes represents. Some
people use money to gain respect, which will only create false
expectations.
Being in control of your financial situation affords you the luxury of
also controlling your emotions regarding debt. Controlling your
finances feels like freedom itself and will give you added
confidence and determination to improve other areas of your life. It
will also give you more expendable income to spend on your family
and yourself.
The best ways to reduce debt NOW are:

1. Complete the attached personal budget form. This will help you
consolidate onto one document how much you spend and how
much you owe, allowing you to see exactly where you are
spending money and where you can save.
2. Make a list of loans and debt separately to identify how much
you owe in total. You can include your mortgage if you wish, as
technically this is still a debt.
3. Speak with your bank for free financial advice. They are
professionals, and they may provide you with the answers you
have been struggling to find.
4. Create a money plan to start saving. Whatever money you can
save in accordance to your budget, place into a separate high
interest savings account, and do not touch it. Hold yourself
accountable.
What you focus on, you will attract. The road to freedom starts
inside your mind, so you need to focus on saving money and
spending less than you earn. I know that seems like common
sense, but believe me, a lot of people live way beyond their means
daily.
Here is the secret; the key to creating abundant wealth is to have
multiple income funds, separate pots containing enough money for
you to survive off the interest. Having a higher standard will give
you the edge, so raise your standards. It is the same principle for
losing weight. Setting a high standard for yourself, in regards to
your eating habits, will give you the momentum to stay strong, and
see your goals through.
It is a case of must vs. should statements. You decide in life what
becomes a must and what stays a should. You can say, I should
save my money, but in truth, are you really going to do it? When
you say, I must save my money, then, you are making a
statement with more conviction and setting a high standard behind
it. You will unleash significant determination when you fully commit
to live and breathe your beliefs.

Here are some helpful tips in creating a positive and realistic

mindset for financial wealth:
1. Define: Identify a purpose for your life, which includes an ideal
or value you cherish and want to contribute to society.
2. Desire: What do you intensely desire?
deepest desires, so you can keep them close.

Write down your

3. Self-reliance: Believe in your abilities. Despite your childhood

and societal messages, it is ultimately up to you to decide to live in
abundance. We are all endowed with unique abilities. Find yours.
Trust your own intuition. Be persistent.
4. Organize: A sloppy plan just leads to more chaos, clutter, and
weakened motivation. So, put together a well-organized plan, my
friend!
5. Knowledge: Once you design a plan, insert the knowledge
youll need to acquire to be the best you can be. Be consistent in
learning. Research and experience will give you the confidence to
move forward with your dreams.
6. Cooperation: Cooperate with others. Show empathy and
understanding of others plights in life.
Otherwise, building
resentments and living off the opinions of others simply destroys
persistence to want to rise above the crowd.

Personal Budget Planner

I want you to have a clear idea of what your financial situation is
and look at what areas you can save money in.
Please feel free to fill in your details, or copy this out into your
journal.
Mortgage/Rent:
Council tax:
Gas, Electricity, Oil:
All personal property insurance:
Food:

Expenses:
Clothing:
Telephone:
Internet and TV:
Car tax and insurance:
Car running costs:
Car service:
Childrens expenditure:
Loans:
Credit cards:
Savings:
Holidays:
Total Expenditure =
Personal Income:
Any Additional Family Income =
Net Total Survival Budget =
Once you have filled this out, you will be able to see roughly what
your outgoing expenses are per month, and how much money you
have left over. Now, you can easily identify what areas (if any) you
can save money on, and use that spare money to start your
honey pot, which you can build upon.
Please be aware that if you are in significant amounts of debt, it
may be worth seeking professional help and weighing your
options. If you are finding yourself in a hole you cannot climb out
of, do not suffer alone in silence.

End of Step 4 Summary

Step 4 is a basic understanding of what wealth can do for you. I
did not want to get too detailed as this guide is simply for the first
28 days of making primary changes in your life.
Wealth is very important and should not be over looked (hence
why I included a personal budget planner). So, get yourself and
your finances organized, and start thinking of some great ways to

save on your expenses. Get started on creating multiple income

pots of wealth.

Chapter 5 - Step 5 The Final Step to Success

I hope the last 4 steps have been beneficial, and you are in good
shape for taking decisive action to create a better life for yourself.
In this section, I am going to talk about health and diet, while also
covering some of the topics you may have already read. I want to
make sure, by the end of this book, you have done all the
exercises and are committed to start making some small changes
in your life.
I am often asked during coaching, how is it possible to have
certainty when all these events and changes occur? Well the
answer is simple.
The secret to life is to find meaning behind each event.
Sometimes in your life, there will be instances when you think
things are not going your way, even though you are making
progress. This, my friend, is life, and you can either chose to suffer
or persevere. You can allow it to affect you, or you can simply see
the meaning and purpose behind it, and rely on your emotional
strength.
As long as you stick to the main principles, which are: have a
vision, find the meaning, gain momentum, and take action, you will
fully enjoy the fruits of your labor. You simply cannot go wrong.
You cannot just fall into success. It needs to be worked for and
earned.
*****************
Minute Motivator
You are the only one who can push for success. Do not let
other people write your destiny for you. It is in your hands so
be confident. Be wise, and learn as much as you can.
Knowledge is power to those who know how to use it.
*****************

Treat Yourself
A crucial part of change is to reward yourself through every step.
Progress deserves to be recognized, and what is better than
treating yourself at the end of each week or month?
For example, if you are intending to change your health and
fitness, you embark on your road to transformation. Lets say, you
start by designing your nutrition plan, which includes how many
days a week you intend to hit the gym and what to eat for each
day. This is where you plan or build in a naughty/cheat day.
Maybe on Saturday or Sunday, you designate that day to be where
you can eat whatever you want. Your treat could be your favorite
meal, dessert, or take away. Whatever it is, make sure its a
fulfilling reward for all the hard work you have put in during the
week.
The method behind this madness allows you to gradually ease into
a pattern of working hard during the week and having something to
look forward to at the end of it. If you completely cut out all
rewards, there is a good chance that your mind will start to find the
task boring, and you wont be stimulated or motivated to continue.
This will eventually cause you to give up.
So, dont be afraid to treat yourself to a reward when you work
hard. This can be applied to any challenge. If you are wanting a
new car, work your money plan out to achieve the financial goal,
and when it happens, your brand new car will be waiting!
I want to remind you that the main focus here is to stimulate your
mind with progress. After several weeks and months of adapting,
your mind will love the new you, and the old you will feel like a
distant memory.

Find The Compelling Future

In order to grow we need hope. We need that light at the end of
the tunnel to head for, and with your new vision, its paramount
that you ensure you have hope firmly grasped within your reach.
A compelling future will ensure you stay motivated and focused.
You must find reason behind your actions and the decisions you

make. It will also give you an amazing flow of confidence because

you know what it is you want, and you have a plan to achieve it.
This, my friend, is the secret to success.
As I have been saying throughout this book, come up with the
idea, mold it, put the work in, sweat for the cause, and reach for
results. You will have your moment to shine!

Health and Fitness

Talking as a qualified fitness instructor, it would be foolish of me
not to include a small section in this book about health and fitness.
I would personally recommend taking a serious look at your diet
and health patterns. Do you have a good diet? Do you feel
energetic?
Having a bad diet will inevitably cause an increase in weight; this
will then cause strain to the back and other major joints and
muscles, which will affect the bodys mobility.
Even if your plan only includes walking three times a week for
thirty minutes a session, that will still make a huge difference to
your life. It will give you a great feeling of accomplishment.
I have mentioned this already, but your physical appearance
matches your lifestyle. This is very true. If you go to the gym times
times a week, your body will show it. It has to! So, hit the gym!
Your body will love you for it.
For me, its the psychology behind being healthy and active that
excites me. When you decide that its a must to go to the gym,
then you discover a new purpose and goal to get in shape. Maybe
you want to lose some weight or have bigger muscles. Either way,
good fitness is a very attainable goal to have. You will start to
enjoy seeing your results as they come and basking in the
elevated feelings of phenomenal self-worth.
Your self-worth and self-esteem will provide you with a reason to
keep reaching for your dreams and goals, and when you have
been on your journey for a year or two, it will become second
nature.

So, if fitness and being in good physical health is one of your

goals, thats great! Spend some time figuring out what it is you like
to do because it has to be enjoyable, or you wont stick with it.
Make a plan, and schedule to get started. You should also track
results in your journal or diary, including your current weight, your
targeted weight, and a record of each session. This will give you a
great reference to look back on to see your improvement.
Along with fitness you should also implement a good diet. So, if
you are wanting to lose weight, do some research online, and look
for healthy diets that might suit your needs. Consult with a
physician, and try one out. Simply cutting down on carbs and
eating more fruit and vegetables is a great start.
You can do it! I know you can!
###

Final words from James Dawborn

I just want to personally thank you for reading this book. I hope it
brings new meaning to your life and sets you on a course that will
be both rewarding and satisfying. Your emotional needs are
essential for understanding your current situation and why you are
who you are.
There are so many topics I could write about, in so much detail,
but then, this guide would be over 1000 pages (and it would take
you forever to read). I want you to read, and get started! So, I kept
it short and sweet.
Please feel free to revisit any part of this e-book, and redo any of
the tasks or exercises again. Your destiny is in your hands. Do not
let someone else tell you who or what you should be. Youre here
for a purpose, so identify that purpose, find a path that best suits
you, and start making the necessary changes to make great
progress. If you do all of this, you will definitely experience
success.
Once you have achieved your goals, you will naturally want to
improve other areas of your life, which is perfectly natural because
our life is constantly changing. However, the main purpose of this

book is to show you the emotional tools that will allow you to adapt
to ever-changing situations.
You must be able to accept that, yes, pain will happen. It is a
significant part of life, but it is how we choose to interpret this pain
that truly makes a big difference. Goals will always be set, and
dreams and desires will always exist. But, its your emotional
strength that will decide whether or not they come true for you. I
sincerely hope they do!
Do remember if you find that you are still not strong enough to do
this by yourself, then DONT. Ask for help. There is no shame
seeking guidance, and there are professional therapists out there
waiting to help you. Communicate with your friends and family. A
problem shared is a problem solved, and it is most definitely a
strength to admit a weakness. So, please do not ever suffer alone.
Please keep a look out for my next book, and let me know how
your transformation is coming along.
In the meantime, you can find me on Twitter:
http://twitter.com/Oraclewellbeing
I would love to have you along for the journey.
All the very best,
James Dawborn
*****************
Minute Motivator
Do not let pain cause you to suffer. Find the meaning behind
each action, and allow it work in your favor. Your life will be
amazing, and you will inspire not only your loved ones but
also the people around you. Live with passion, my friend, and
live with pride.

*****************