Below is our sample essay question, which is designed to be as close as possible to an essay

question that might appear on the SAT. Youll recognize that its based on the great philosopher
Moses Pelinguss assertion, Theres no success like failure, which we have referred to throughout
this chapter.
This particular essay topic presents you with a very broad idea and then asks you to explain your
view and back it up with concrete examples. Not every SAT essay topic will take this form, but
every SAT essay question will require you to take a position and defend it with examples.
Heres the sample prompt again:
Consider carefully the following quotation and the assignment below it. Then plan
and write an essay that explains your ideas as persuasively as poss ible. Keep in
mind that the support you provideboth reasons and exampleswill help make
your view convincing to the reader.
Theres no success like failure.
What is your view on the idea that success can begin with failure? In an essay,
support your position using an example (or examples) from literature, the arts,
history, current events, politics, science and technology, or from your personal
experience or observation.
Below are two different versions of responses to our sample essay question. We provide
examples of a 6 essay and a 4 essay, complete with a brief analysis of each essay and how they
differ from each other. We evaluate both essays according to three sets of criteria:

Our four essential essay ingredients

The SAT graders checklist
A checklist based on our Universal SAT Essay Template

As you read both examples, note that we have marked certain sentences and paragraphs to
illustrate where and how the essay does or does not abide by our Universal SAT Essay Template.
A 6 Essay
Learning the lessons taught by failure is a sure route to success. (THESIS
STATEMENT) The United States of America can be seen as a success that emerged
from failure: by learning from the weaknesses of the Articles of Confederation, the
founding fathers were able to create the Constitution, the document on which
America is built. (BEST SUPPORTING EXAMPLE [1]) Google Inc., the popular
Internet search engine, is another example of a success that arose from learning
from failure, though in this case Google learned from the failures of its competitors.
(NEXT BEST SUPPORTING EXAMPLE [2]) Another example that shows how success
can arise from failure is the story of Rod Johnson, who started a recruiting firm that
arose from Johnsons personal experience of being laid off. (NEXT BEST
SUPPORTING EXAMPLE [3])
The United States, the first great de mocracy of the modern world, is also one
of the best examples of a success achieved by studying and learning from earlier
failures. (TOPIC SENTENCE FOR EXAMPLE 1) After just five years of living under
the Articles of Confederation, which established the United States of America as a

single country for the first time, the states realized that they needed a new
document and a new more powerful government. In 1786, the Annapolis convention
was convened. The result, three years later, was the Constitution, which created a
more powerful central government while also maintaining the integrity of the states.
By learning from the failure of the Articles, the founding fathers created the
founding document of a country that has become both the most powerful country in
the world and a beacon of democracy. (FOUR DEVELOPMENT SENTENCES TO
SUPPORT EXAMPLE 1)
Unlike the United States, which had its fair share of ups and downs over the
years, the Internet search engine company, Google Inc., has suffered few setbacks
since it went into business in the late 1990s. (TOPIC SENTENCE FOR EXAMPLE 2)
Google has succeeded by studying the failures of other companies in order to help
it innovate its technology and business model. Google identified and solved the
problem of assessing the quality of search results by using the number of links
pointing to a page as an indicator of the number of people who find the page
valuable. Suddenly, Googles search results became far more accurate and reliable
than those from other companies, and now Googles dominance in the field of
Internet search is almost absolute. (THREE DEVELOPMENT SENTENCES TO
SUPPORT EXAMPLE 2)
The example of Rod Johnsons success as an entrepreneur in the recruiting field
also shows how effective learning from mistakes and failure can be. (TOPIC
SENTENCE FOR EXAMPLE 3) Rather than accept his failure after being laid off,
Johnson decided to study it. After a month of research, Johnson realized that his
failure to find a new job resulted primarily from the inefficienc y of the local job
placement agencies, not from his own deficiencies. A month later, Johnson created
Johnson Staffing to correct this weakness in the job placement sector. Today
Johnson Staffing is the largest job placement agency in South Carolina, and is in
the process of expanding into a national corporation. (FOUR DEVELOPMENT
SENTENCES TO SUPPORT EXAMPLE 3)
Failure is often seen as embarrassing, something to be denied and hidden. But
as the examples of the U.S. Constitution , Google, and Rod Johnson prove, if an
individual, organization, or even a nation is strong enough to face and study its
failure, then that failure can become a powerful teacher. (THESIS STATEMENT
REPHRASED IN BROADER WAY THAT PUSHES IT FURTHER) The examples of
history and business demonstrate that failure can be the best catalyst of success,
but only if people have the courage to face it head on.
Why This Essay Deserves a 6
First, we need to assess whether this essay contains the four essential ingredients of a great SAT
essay. Here they are, just to refresh your memory:
1. Positioning: The strength and clarity of the position on the given topic.
2. Examples: The relevance and development of the examples used to support your
argument.
3. Organization: The organization of each paragraph and of the essay overall.
4. Command of Language: Sentence construction, grammar, and word choice.
This essay serves up all four SAT essay ingredients. It takes a very strong and clear stance on the
topic in the first sentence and sticks to it from start to finish. It uses three examples from a very
diverse array of disciplinesfrom Internet technology to history and politics to a profile of an

entrepreneurand it never veers from using these examples to support the thesis statements
position. The organization of the essay follows our Universal SAT Essay Template perfectly, both
at the paragraph level (topic sentences and development sentences) and at the overall essay
level (intro, three meaty example paragraphs, a strong conclusion). The command of language
remains solid throughout. The writer does not take risks with unfamiliar vocabulary but instead
chooses a few out of the ordinary words like beacon, deficiencies, and innovate that sprinkle just
the right amount of special sauce throughout the essay. Sentence structure varies often, making the
entire essay more interesting and engaging to the grader. Finally, no significant grammar errors
disrupt the overall excellence of this SAT essay.
Heres a quick-reference chart that takes a closer look at this 6 essay based on the actual SATs
evaluation criteria for graders and based on our Universal SAT Essay Template.
SAT CRITERIA FOR 6 ESSAYS

YES OR
NO?

Consistently excellent, with at most a few minor errors.

YES

Takes a clear position on the topic and uses insightful relevant

examples to back it up.

YES

Shows strong overall organization and paragraph development.

YES

Demonstrates a superior command of language, as shown by varied

sentence structure and word choice.

YES

OUR UNIVERSAL SAT ESSAY TEMPLATE CRITERIA

YES OR
NO?

Thesis statement in first sentence of paragraph 1.

YES

Three examples listed in paragraph 1 in order from best to worst.

YES

Topic sentence for example in paragraph 2.

YES

34 development sentences to support paragraph 2s example.

YES

Topic sentence for example in paragraph 3.

YES

34 development sentences to support paragraph 3s example.

YES

Topic sentence for example in paragraph 4.

YES

34 development sentences to support paragraph 4s examp le.

YES

Conclusion paragraph contains rephrased thesis statement.

YES

Number of sentences is sufficient.

YES

A 4 Essay
Failure can sometimes lead to success. (THESIS STATEMENT) Many Internet
commerce businesses have learned from the terrible failures of the dot -com boom
and bust, and today are in much stronger more successful positions than they were
just a few years ago. (SUPPORTING EXAMPLE [1]). Another example proving that
failure sometimes leads to success is that of Arnold Arnie Wagner, a heavy metal
drummer who learned to play the drums in a better different style after a crippling
car accident almost killed him and his band. (SUPPORTING EXAMPLE [2])
Not all Internet businesses vanished when the dot-com boom went bustsome
picked up the pieces, learned from their mistakes, and moved on. The Internet boom
was good to online shoppers but not so great to online businesses. Shoppers
reaped the benefits of all kinds of great deals and online promotions, while ecommerce businesses did themselves in. Some Internet companies realized the
mistakes others were making, such as offering too deep discounts and not charging
for shipping, and they now have benefited by not sufferin g the same pitfalls. Only
the failure of other business made this happen. (FOUR DEVELOPMENT SENTENCES
TO SUPPORT EXAMPLE 1)
Arnold Arnie Wagner is one of the best drummers alive today. (NO TOPIC
SENTENCE TO SUPPORT EXAMPLE 2) Hes sure lucky to be alive! Arnie lost his
right arm in a car crash just as his band Darkness Falls was beginning to establish
success. Rather than give up and fail with his one arm, Wagner took the problem on
courageously and decides to view it as an opportunity to change his drumming
style. He has a special drum kit designed for him, complete with electronic pedals
controlled by foot, which leads him to a new style and his band to even greater
heights of success. (FIVE DEVELOPMENT SENTENCES TO SUPPORT EXAMPLE 2)
Failure doesnt have to end there. Often people and businesses use others
failures or even their own to learn from mistakes and try not to repeat them. Proof?
Today Arnie Wagner is still on top of the drumming world, and many online
businesses continue to thrive. (THESIS STATEMENT TOUCHED ON, BUT NOT
REPHRASED IN BROADER WAY THAT PUSHES IT FURTHER) The examples of
history and business demonstrate that failure can be the best catalyst of success,
but only if people have the courage to face it head on.
Why This Essay Deserves a 4
This essay does an adequate job serving up all four SAT essay ingredients. Its competent overall
but not exceptional. Thats the key difference between 4 essays and 6 essays. The 4s are like
average students: They do the work the night before, turn it in, and get back a passing grade
that keeps their parents off their back. The 6s are above excellent students: They do their
homework days in advance, turn it in early, and impress teachers with the superior quality of their
work.

More specifically, this 4 essay takes a stance on the topic in the first sentence and sticks to it, but
the stance is not resoundingly clear from the start: Failure can sometimes lead to success. The
thesis statement is vague and makes the essays positioning wishy-washy, which makes it weaker
overall than the 6 essays unwavering stance. It does use examples to support its position, but its
examples are not as sophisticated or as varied as the examples in the 6 essay. Theyre also not
linked together with transitions and occasionally veer slightly off topic. The organization of the
essay follows our Universal SAT Essay Template closely, but not perfectly. For starters, it contains
only two examples. Though not disastrous, including only two examples limits the breadth of your
support. It also makes the strength and quality of your examples all the more crucial, since having
only two will make the grader scrutinize them more closely than if your support were spread over
three examples.
At the sentence level, this essay does include a thesis statement and a topic sentence in the first
example paragraph, but the structure begins to derail at the beginning of the second example
paragraph. The writer introduces the drummer Arnie Wagner, but not in a way that is directly
related to proving the thesis statement. The paragraph meanders toward a topic sentence, but
never regains a sure footing. The conclusion refers back to the thesis statement in broad terms
(Failure doesnt have to end there), but it does not tie the essay together as well as the
broadening conclusion found in the 6 essay. The command of language remains acceptable
throughout. Compared to the 6 essay, this 4 essay contains significantly more spelling and
grammar errors, most notably the jarring tense shift in paragraph 3. The entire passage is written
in the past tense, but suddenly shifts into the present tense with the sentence that begins, He has
a special drum kit. . . . This essay also features repetitive sentence structure that makes it a much
duller read than the 6. The 4 contains no special sauce whatsoever, another contributing factor to
its average quality overall.
Heres a closer look at this 4 essay based on the SATs evaluation criteria for graders and based
on our Universal SAT Essay Template. Pay special attention to the difference in criteria for 4
essays and 6 essays, and to the deficiencies in the 4 essay as compared to the 6 (the NOs in the
YES/NO column). The 4 essays NOs pinpoint its weaknesses, which we just discussed.
SAT CRITERIA FOR 4 ESSAYS

YES OR
NO?

Consistently solid, with at least several minor errors and a few more
serious weaknesses or mistakes.

YES

Addresses the topic presented adequately.

YES

Uses examples to support a position on the topic.

YES

Shows acceptable organization and development throughout.

YES

Competent but not consistent command of language, with several errors

in grammar and usage and only slight sentence variation.

YES

OUR UNIVERSAL SAT ESSAY TEMPLATE CRITERIA

YES OR
NO?

Thesis statement in first sentence of paragraph 1.

YES

Three examples listed in paragraph 1 in order from best to worst.

NO

Topic sentence for example in paragraph 2.

YES

34 development sentences to support paragraph 2s example.

YES

Topic sentence for example in paragraph 3.

NO

34 development sentences to support paragraph 3s example.

NO

Topic sentence for example in paragraph 4.

NO

34 development sentences to support paragraph 4s example.

NO

Conclusion paragraph contains rephrased thesis statement.

YES

Number of sentences is sufficient.

YES