Question 1: Written Assignment

TITLE OF SPEECH: WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO BE A GOOD PARENT

A very good morning to Beloved Headmaster Sekolah Kebangsaan Terusan Tengah,

Mr Abd. Rauf Bin Mohd Nuh, Senior assistant Curriculum Puan Normah Binti Hingga,
teachers and all students parent. On this glorious morning, Thank you for inviting me in this
Parents dayss of parents and teachers association organized, I, Mrs Sitti Nahirah Binti
Zulkanain as a senior assistant student affairs am going to give a talk on What does it take to
be a good parent?.
What does it take to be a good parent? Being a parent is one of the most fulfilling
experiences a person can have. There is a natural instinct that seems to come to a new parent,
but there are bits of advice that can help when you are challenged in the growing up years.
The most important thing however, that any parent can give their child, is a sense of being
loved. A gentle cuddle, a little encouragement, appreciation, approval or even a smile can go a
long way to boost the confidence and well-being of your children. Respect their privacy as
you would want them to respect yours; for example, if you teach your child that your room is
out of boundaries to them, respect the same with their room. Allow them to feel that once they
enter their room they can know that no one will look through their drawers, or read their diary.
Don't argue with your spouse in front of the children. If they are sleeping, argue
quietly. Modern divorce rates have children feeling insecure and fearful when they hear
parents bickering. It will lead an emotional disturbance and it can make your children
experience depression, sadness, and guilt moreover can interfere with their learning process at
school or in home. In addition, children will learn to argue with each other the same way they
hear their parents argue with each other. Show them that when people disagree, they can
discuss their differences peacefully, Give up your vices: gambling, alcohol and drugs can
jeopardize your child's financial security. Smoking almost always introduces health hazards to
your child's environment. Second-hand smoke has been linked to several respiratory ailments
in children. It could also contribute to the early death of a parent. Alcohol and drugs might
also introduce health hazards or violence to your child's environment. With a little patience
and self-motivation you can be a great parent to your child.

Another quality making a good parent is being able to provide for the family with
safety. This encompasses physical safety of the shelter, the financial safety of being able to
meet the familys financial needs and other forms of psychological safety. Most families in the
global sense demand high degree of security and safety due to the uncertainties in the world.
Financial security to prepare the family members for their future especially for the kids
education is a crucial role that is a compliment for every parent. It involve Helping families
meet future needs while keeping pace with day-to-day expenses and addressing the basics of
earning, spending, saving, investing, and housing issues. So, then the safety and welfare of the
family can be guaranteed for the days ahead.
On the other hand, being able to listen to the voice of the family members and
reacting effectively to their demands. Considering that nobody is perfect, when parents
makes mistakes, they need to accept and correct their mistakes on good time and in good faith
for the better of the family and society at large. Through this, a parent will be able to be a role
model to the family.Though each social cultural setting has what the qualities of a good
parent, a parent needs to realize that there is no parent who can be exclusively perfect. This
therefore calls for parents to change some approaches while providing the best for the family.
In every society, this list is endless; however, love, security and safety are among the best
amenities that a good parent must provide for the family. By provision of these needs to the
family members, a parent will be respected by the family members and the society while the
parent will be able to control the whole family.
Raising a child can be very difficult. Children learn how to be adults from none other
than adults themselves. Parents need to be willing to teach their children. In my opinion, there
are key things that a parent needs to do to be a "good" parent. Parents need to be good
listeners. They are sometimes too quick to judge their children's actions and words that they
do not hear them cry for love, attention or help. Parents need to listen to their child's feelings
and reactions to things. Also, they need to let them have their own opinions and voice them
too. They should look at their child and show them that they are listening to them. Think that
one of the greatest things that I can do for my kids is to take them seriously and listen to them.
My ten year old boy is constantly showing me everything that he learns and its very easy to
tune him out sometimes, but I think its very important not to. It is important to listen because
if you dont give your kids enough attention they might try and seek it in a negative way. It is
important to listen to your children when they have learned something new or want to tell you

something that they are proud of. Children seek your approval, and that gives them
confidence.
Nurture Your Child's Self-Esteem, Kids start developing their sense of self as babies
when they see themselves through their parents' eyes. Your tone of voice, your body language,
and your every expression are absorbed by your kids. Your words and actions as a parent
affect their developing self-esteem more than anything else. Praising accomplishments,
however small, will make them feel proud; letting kids do things independently will make
them feel capable and strong. By contrast, belittling comments or comparing a child
unfavorably with another will make kids feel worthless. Avoid making loaded statements or
using words as weapons. Comments like "What a stupid thing to do!" or "You act more like a
baby than your little brother!" cause damage just as physical blows do. Choose your words
carefully and be compassionate. Let your kids know that everyone makes mistakes and that
you still love them, even when you don't love their behavior.
Set Limits and Be Consistent With Your Discipline, Discipline is necessary in every
household. The goal of discipline is to help kids choose acceptable behaviors and learn selfcontrol. They may test the limits you establish for them, but they need those limits to grow
into responsible adults. Establishing house rules helps kids understand your expectations and
develop self-control. Some rules might include: no TV until homework is done, and no
hitting, name-calling, or hurtful teasing allowed.You might want to have a system in place:
one warning, followed by consequences such as a "time out" or loss of privileges. A common
mistake parents make is failure to follow through with the consequences. You can't discipline
kids for talking back one day and ignore it the next. Being consistent teaches what you expect.
The best thing to do is to pick your battles, because if you are constantly saying no your
child will tune it out. You also have to be consistent. For example, you cant let your child eat
candy before dinner one night and then tell them not to the next night, you will be sending
them mixed signals. You have to make sure that they stick to your rules, and pick you battles
wisely. You know the saying Dont cry over spilled milk.
You also might have Make Time for Your Kids, It's often difficult for parents and
kids to get together for a family meal, let alone spend quality time together. But there is
probably nothing kids would like more. Get up 10 minutes earlier in the morning so you can
eat breakfast with your child or leave the dishes in the sink and take a walk after dinner. Kids
who aren't getting the attention they want from their parents often act out or misbehave
because they're sure to be noticed that way. Many parents find it rewarding to schedule

together time with their kids. Create a "special night" each week to be together and let your
kids help decide how to spend the time. Look for other ways to connect put a note or
something special in your kid's lunchbox. Adolescents seem to need less undivided attention
from their parents than younger kids. Because there are fewer windows of opportunity for
parents and teens to get together, parents should do their best to be available when their teen
does express a desire to talk or participate in family activities. Attending concerts, games, and
other events with your teen communicates caring and lets you get to know more about your
child and his or her friends in important ways. Don't feel guilty if you're a working parent. It
is the many little things you do making popcorn, playing cards, window shopping that
kids will remember. True, many parents do have to work a lot to provide their family with the
things they need. Spoiling children does not mean parents don't need to show love and spend
quality time with their kids. Parents should invest time, not money into their children.
Children shouldn't have to ask if they are important to their parents to know. They should just
know. The time a parent puts into their family and the traditions they have will always be
there

Be a Good Role Model, Young kids learn a lot about how to act by watching their
parents. The younger they are, the more cues they take from you. Before you lash out or blow
your top in front of your child, think about this: is that how you want your child to behave
when angry? Be aware that you're constantly being observed by your kids. Studies have
shown that children who hit usually have a role model for aggression at home. Model the
traits you wish to cultivate in your kids: respect, friendliness, honesty, kindness, tolerance.
Exhibit unselfish behavior. Do things for other people without expecting a reward. Express
thanks and offer compliments. Above all, treat your kids the way you expect other people to
treat you. So, you must be careful on your attitudes in how you show your emotion to your
children.
Make Communication a Priority, You can't expect kids to do everything simply
because you, as a parent, "say so." They want and deserve explanations as much as adults do.
If we don't take time to explain, kids will begin to wonder about our values and motives and
whether they have any basis. Parents who reason with their kids allow them to understand and
learn in a nonjudgmental way. Make your expectations clear. If there is a problem, describe it,
express your feelings, and invite your child to work on a solution with you. Be sure to include

consequences. Make suggestions and offer choices. Be open to your child's suggestions as
well. Negotiate. Kids who participate in decisions are more motivated to carry them out.
Be Flexible and Willing to Adjust Your Parenting Style, If you frequently feel "let
down" by your child's behavior, perhaps you have unrealistic expectations. Parents who think
in "shoulds" (for example, "My kid should be potty-trained by now") might find it helpful to
read up on the matter or to talk to other parents or child development specialists. Kids'
environments have an impact on their behavior, so you may be able to modify that behavior
by changing the environment. If you find yourself constantly saying "no" to your 2-year-old,
look for ways to restructure your surroundings so that fewer things are off-limits. This will
cause less frustration for both of you. As your child changes, you'll gradually have to change
your parenting style. Chances are, what works with your child now won't work as well in a
year or two. Teens tend to look less to their parents and more to their peers for role models.
But continue to provide guidance, encouragement, and appropriate discipline while allowing
your teen to earn more independence. And seize every available moment to make a
connection!
Show That Your Love Is Unconditional.

As a parent, you're responsible for

correcting and guiding your kids. But how you express your corrective guidance makes all the
difference in how a child receives it.When you have to confront your child, avoid blaming,
criticizing, or fault-finding, which undermine self-esteem and can lead to resentment. Instead,
strive to nurture and encourage, even when disciplining your kids. Make sure they know that
although you want and expect better next time, your love is there no matter what.
Know Your Own Needs and Limitations as a Parent Face it you are an imperfect
parent. You have strengths and weaknesses as a family leader. Recognize your abilities "I
am loving and dedicated." Vow to work on your weaknesses "I need to be more consistent
with discipline." Try to have realistic expectations for yourself, your spouse, and your kids.
You don't have to have all the answers be forgiving of yourself. And try to make parenting
a manageable job. Focus on the areas that need the most attention rather than trying to address
everything all at once. Admit it when you're burned out. Take time out from parenting to do
things that will make you happy as a person (or as a couple). Focusing on your needs does not
make you selfish. It simply means you care about your own well-being, which is another
important value to model for your children.

Thus, I find myself troubled when trying to explain to someone what a good parent
consist of. I think parenting is one of, if not the hardest job an individual can take on. Being a
parent doesnt come with any instructions, a blueprint, or guidelines written out for you. Like
any socially constructed concept, theres a vague and contradicting definition of what one
could consider what a good parent is. The definition varies by culture, time, place and gender
greatly. Newman and Grauerholz Sociology of Families states that a good parent raises a
well rounded individual who will become a successful adult. A good parent should provide
their children with their earliest forms of attachment, morality and help them become good
adults in their particular society. The bear necessities of child rearing would be to provide a
safe environment, food and clothes. If these things are provided does that constitute one as a
good parent? We live in a world with huge expectations of parents. Based on what society
portrays as a good parent, they expect people to make enough money, put their kids in good
schools, find good child care services, read and play music with their kids, monitor the kids
media intake, as well as making sure they know their extended family and watch everything
they do. These expectations are not accessible to several different parents who are in different
situations which are why parenting differs across culture and social class. Childhood is really
not carefree innocence. Parents train their children to fit into the cultures expectations of how
someone of their race, gender, and class would be. This is not something that parents do
consciously but subconsciously. In most cases you are a product of your own environment. It
would be rare that a poor person raise their kid like a wealthy kid, because for one they only
have a mere assumption of how they believe a wealthy kid is raised and
Parents have many characteristics, when they are being defined. Being a good parent
overrules them all. A childs behavior is determined by their home training. Some parents fail
to take responsibility for their child and their actions, unlike good parents. Good parents bond
with their children, to let the child know they care and are there for them at any time. Good
parents show affection and love their child unconditionally. A good parent is a role model. A
good parent is emotionally, physically, and mentally there for their child. The parent takes
time to be with the child, does not rush them, takes responsibility, and understands the child.
A good parent does not spoil their child. A spoiled child becomes disrespectful, bitter, and
hard to tame. The parent establishes ground rules, so the child can take ownership of their
actions. Children tend to get into a mode as they become teenagers. A good parent listens to
their child. A parent can have different point of views rather than looking at the child
perspective of things. The parent shows affection and concern while they listen. The child

absorbs good characteristics from their parents. Good parents are role models for their
children. The child learns what to say, how to say it, what to do, and how to do it from their
parents. The child learns how to respect others, be responsible, and be a hard-worker. When a
parent spends a lot of time with their child, they become close. If the child feels neglected,
they are most likely to become a problem. When parents take their children out or have some
type of family tradition, the child becomes excited and vulnerable. A good parent does not buy
their children, they invest themselves with time. Good parents motivate their children to do
better and encourage them. A child becomes successful in life more than others, because they
have confidence in themselves.

References

Anonymous .(2013, 07). A Good Parent. StudyMode.com. Retrieved 06, 2014, from
http://www.studymode.com/essays/a-Good-Parent-1853473.html
Anonymous. (2014, 06). Being a Good Parent. Retrieved 06, 2014, from
http://www.123HelpMe.com/view.asp?id=174452