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FEATURES
Celebrate 45 Years as the Communitys
Center with a look back at the Kickoff
Reception:
Pictures from the 45th Anniversary

Kickoff Reception
pg. 5
50 Ideas for Self-Care
pg. 15
MENTAL HEALTH: HOW TO

HEAL THE QUEER SOUL
BY ARLENE LEV
The healing of the queer soul is a
process of coming home to ourselves. Recognizing our own human
suffering anxiety, depression, addiction and committing ourselves
to the heros journey of finding solutions that work for us
pg. 16
Home Healthcare
pg. 18
Meet 6 of the New Leaders in

our Community
The Pride Center seats a new board
and welcomes 6 new leaders to

it.
pg. 22
A Letter from the New President
pg. 23
On the Cover (l to r):

Board Secretary Gretchel Hathaway,
President Pat Wood, Vice President Jeff
Baltes, and Treasurer Jeffrey Dyber
Cover photographs and opposite page
Jay Zhang / Jay Zhang Photography
March 2015
Volume 3, Issue 2
CONTENTS
COLUMNS
The Fashionable and the Frivolous
Trapped Like the Devil
by
Alan Bennet Ilagan pg. 10
Gay Mans Musings
Letters to a Fabulous 8 Year Old...
by
Nyvek Moshier pg. 12
To Be a Blessing
Reclaiming God, Faith& Community
by
Deborah Reyome pg. 17
Trans View
Whos in the Circle?
by
Moonhawk Riverstone pg. 20
Ask the Lawyer
Protecting Parent Child Relationships
by
Geri Pomerantz pg. 26
Ask Mark Your Tax Questions
by
Mark D. Witecki pg. 24
Michael Cooks and You Can Too
Happy St. Patricks Day
by
Michael Meade pg. 29
Out in the Garden
How Sweet It Is
by
Heres Guffman
Waiting in Albany
by
Judith Fetterley pg. 31

Patrick White pg. 32
Vintage Pride: Who We Are

The Many Aspects of Joe:: Reminiscing Joe Norton
by
Chuck Zimmerman pg. 38
NEWS,UPDATES & INFORMATION
Directors Note
pg. 7
From the Editors Desk
pg. 7
Quick Clips
pg. 9
The Pride Center is No Longer Offering Case
Management Services
pg. 23
Affiliates Calendar
Advertisers Index
Weekly Events Calendar
Special Events Calendar
CommUNITY Calendar
pg. 25
pg. 30
pg. 34
pg. 35
pg. 36
45th Anniversary Kickoff Reception
On February 5th, at the gorgeous Linda Norris Auditorium

in the heart of Albany, the Pride Center of the Capital Region
kicked off its 45th anniversary celebration with over 100 community members, notable elected officials like Albany Mayor
Kathy Sheehan, Albany County Executive Dan McCoy, Assemblyman John McDonald, Common Councilwomen Dorcey
Applyrs and former Assemblyman Ron Canestrari, and our
honorary co-chairs Gloria DeSole, Norman Rea and University at Albany President Robert Jones. The evening was filled
with smiles, laughter and some tears as we looked back over
45 years and celebrated our victories, rejoiced in our accomplishments and remembered those we have lost that made the
Center what it is today.
photographs: Jay Zhang Photography
45th Anniversary Kickoff Reception
and transform our community. And without the courage

and vision of the many early
members, we wouldnt have
had the political presence at
the capitol that has been vital
to our many victories since
then.
DIRECTORS
NOTE
As we are celebrating our
45th anniversary as the communitys center, it is important to take pause and acknowledge the significance of
the moment.
It is equally important for me
to thank you, who have been
an integral part of the Pride
Center and our local LGBTQ
community. Today, in 2015,
the landscape of 1970 seems
unimaginable. It was a time
that homosexuality was a
mental diagnosis. When some
of our founders Ron Alheim
and Ernie Reaugh could only
post flyers at midnight when
they wouldnt be assaulted
and the flyers wouldnt be defaced. Joe Norton fought hard
to get the Centers name in the
phonebook- to even publish
the word gay was a fight - but
he knew it would save lives
FROM THE
EDITORS DESK
by
M i c h a e l We idr ic h
In preparation for a recent

interview I was in on Homo
Radio, I was asked How long
have you been involved with
the Center?. I had to think
for a moment and count back
We are at an amazing point in

our communitys history. We
have generations in our community that are straddling a
vast difference in what life as
an LGBTQ person looks like.
We have people in our programs who lived through McCarthyism, and who remember the days of electroshock
therapy as treatment for being gay. We have young people in our community who
will not remember life with
DOMA or even know what
SONDA is. When our founders were teenagers, our current reality was a wild fantasy.
Our advancements have been
remarkable, and we certainly
do have a lot to celebrate as
an organization and as a community.
But it also presents some interesting challenges. As many
of us reach unprecedented
levels of acceptance, we all
have to continue to work towards equality for our entire
community. This means our
allies speaking up as often
the years. It feels like Ive always been affiliated with the
Center from a volunteer, to
a Board member, now as
a Staff member. It dawned
on me that Im going on my
10th year! In that time, I have
worked with 3 Executive Directors (Keith Hornbrook,
Nora Yates and now Curran
Streett), 6 Board Presidents
(Mike Mcardle, Paul Leyden,
Judy Disco, Gwen Wright,
Ken Mortensen, and now
Pat Wood) and several other
Board members and staff.
And as we now welcome 6
new Board members during
this anniversary year, Ive become very conscious of us be-
and vocally as possible. This

means LGBTQ people banding together as a community
- and operating as a community - outside of each letter of
our acronym. Recommitting
ourselves to our community
and our cause because our
work is far from over. Until
our older adults can age with
dignity, until our youth are
not at an increased risk of
homelessness, and until our
trans community members
are safe and affirmed in our
society, and until people of
color in our community can
exist as their whole selves in
all of our society, we all have
to keep fighting, with the
same voracity and tenaciousness that characterized some
of our most fierce and bold
founders.
The need for our community
to be all in, to invest in our
community, is as strong as
ever, and in fact it is vital if we
are to survive as a community, and for the Pride Center to
last another 45 years. We have
so much to be proud of, and
so much more to do, I hope
you will dig your heels in with
me, and be ALL IN for our
community.
Curran Streett, Executive Director
ing the current torch bearers

of a proud legacy. Weve looking back at old photos and
video, weve seen the people
that came before us that kept
this Center running for 45
years. Weve heard stories of
what the Center means to so
many people and how much
it means to them and how it
impacted their lives. By the
end of the evening of our 45th
kick-off, I felt the full weight
of the enormous legacy we all
proudly serve to maintain and
hope to continue for another
45 years.
These Presbyterian Churches Welcome You

Where you can find a place ~ come as you are!
Albany
First Presbyterian
362 State Street (at Willett)
www.firstpresalbany.org
Sunday Worship 8:30 am & 10:45 am
Hudson Falls
First Presbyterian Church
5 River Street
www.fpchudsonfalls.org
Sunday Worship 10:00 am
Stephentown
Stephentown Federated Church
1513 Garfield Road
StephentownFederatedChurch.org
Albany
Westminster Presbyterian
262 State Street / 85 Chestnut Street
www.WPCalbany.org
Putnam Station
Putnam United Presbyterian Church
365 County Route 2
518-547-8378
Stillwater
Stillwater United Church
747 Hudson Avenue
StillwaterUnitedChurch.org
Sunday Worship 9:00 & 10:30 am
Amsterdam
United Presbyterian Church
25 Church Street
www.upchurch25.org
Rensselaerville
Rensselaerville Presbyterian Church
Main Street at Methodist Hill Road
rvillepres.org
Sunday Worship 11:00 am (Summer Only)
Troy (Lansingburgh)
Cornerstone Community Church
570 3rd Avenue
www.cornerstoneccl.org
Colonie
Roessleville Presbyterian Church
Elmhurst and Central Avenue
518-459-2816
Saratoga Springs
Presbyterian-New England Congregational
24 Circular Street
www.pnecchurch.org
Troy
First United
1915 Fifth Avenue (downtown)
www.UnitedPresTroy.org
Delmar
Delmar Presbyterian Church
585 Delaware Avenue
www.delmarpres.org
Schenectady
Union Presbyterian Church
8 North Church Street
www.UnionPres.org
Valatie
3212 Church Street
518-758-9658
Guilderland
Hamilton Union Presbyterian Church
2291 Western Avenue
Scotia-Glenville
Trinity Presbyterian Church
185 Swaggertown Rd.
HamiltonUnionPresbyterianChurch.org
www.ScotiaTrinity.org
Sunday Worship 8:30 am & 10:00 am Sunday Worship 10:00 am
Hudson
369 Warren Street
FirstPresHudson.org
Spencertown
St. Peters Presbyterian Church
5219 County Route 7
SaintPetersPC.org
West Charlton
West Charlton United Presbyterian
1331 Sacandaga Road
www.westcharltonUPC.org
More information at
www.presrainbow.org
age ad for March 2015 CommUnity

For any questions regarding this ad, please
contact Judy Moyer (518) 283-7663 or
Moyer.Judith@gmail.com.
Presbyterian Rainbow contract(?) for 2015
We are all Gods children ~ Come as you are!
The Pride Center is no longer

offering case management services.
During the 2 years that the Pride Center offered Case Management Services we
learned a lot about what groups in our community are most in need of support
and services.
QUICK CLIPS
If you or someone you know is in need of Case Management contact

In Our Own Voices or Be Clear at the numbers below.
Heres a brief look back at those most served...
Take care of yourself
(There are 50 ideas on how to on pg 15)
% of clients
identified as people of color
% of clients
identified as living in poverty
You can heal your queer soul

(find out how on pg. 16)
% of clients
identified along the Trans*
spectrum
All LGBTQ folks seeking
assistance with goal setting and

finding LGBTQ friendly providers
can also contact
Alyssa Hackett at the
Alliance for Positive
Health:
ahackett@alliancefph.org;
If you are Trans*
(518) 434-4686
identified, and in need of
Case Management support, please
contact
Gabby Santos at
In Our Own Voices:
gsantos@inourownvoices.org,
(518) 432-4188
Spring is coming and before you know it

youll be out in the garden!
(Get some help on making it the best season yet

on pg. 31)
FIND SOMETHING TO DO
IN OUR COMMUNITY
(Expanded calendars begin on pg. 34)
STAY IN TOUCH! EMAIL USmweidrich@capitalpridecenter.org
(be sure to include your name and a phone #)
THE FASHIONABLE AND THE FRIVOLOUS by ALAN BENNET ILAGAN
Lifestyle Photography is... Your Everyday, Your Important Moments, Your

Once In A Lifetimes, Your Loved Ones.
Lifestyle Photography
for a Lifetime of Moments
www.Facebook.com/ZhangPhotography
www.JayZhangPhotography.com
JZPhotographicServices@gmail.com
TRAPPED LIKE
THE DEVIL

that you looked extra-slim in a

black turtleneck, and before you
realize it your closet is filled with
the basic one-note palette. Maybe
your college crush admired your
cashmere cable knit sweater and
now your dresser is stacked with
cashmere softness in every shade
and hue. Perhaps your best friend,
normally reluctant to give praise of any
kind, mentioned that she loved your navy
pea coat and you end up wearing it year
round until one day it all but disintegrates
in a sad heap of wear and tear.
She sits in the back

seat of a Mercedes Benz
S550. The skyscrapers
of New York reflect in
the windows, looking
like a cage, imprisoning
their pretty prey. Inside,
fashionable and feared
Miranda Priestley looks
out at the young woman
whos just left her
employment, and gives
the slightest of smiles.
She watches the woman
walking freely along
the crowded streets,
then impatiently directs
her driver to go before
putting her sunglasses
on and barricading
herself against the
world.
Theres a fine line between signature style

and stagnation, and too often we allow
laziness to substitute for a trademark look.
Its always safer to embrace the tried and
true rather than the experimental and
different, and on certain days, when Im
feeling fragile or simply unsure of myself,
Ill revert to wearing what I feel works best.
Its easier that way.
In this final scene of The

Devil Wears Prada we
witness an interesting
role-reversal in that the
woman who already
seems to have it all is
the one whos trapped
by her image, by her
power, by her veneer
of polished perfection.
That moment, save
for the all-too-brief
and elusive smile, has
always terrified me. The
idea of being trapped
and caught is torturous
to many of us, yet how
often it happens without
us even realizing it.
We get comfortable.
We get stagnant. We get
stuck. In its most flagrant
form, it exhibits itself
through our clothing
we favor a certain
style, or a certain color,
and suddenly its our
signature thing. Maybe
someone once told you
10
But on those days when Im feeling

good, when Im feeling adventurous
and confident, I like to break out of my
comfort zone. Its good to periodically jolt
the status quo, to surprise the universe that
wants only to peg us down with labels and
categories. The world is always going to
want to put you into a box and keep you
there, and the day you try to break free is
the day all hell will seem to break loose.
Its so much easier to break down that
box from the beginning and defy those
expectations, living as youd like to live.
Sometimes its something as simple as
changing up your socks or underwear,
switching out your black bag for
something brighter, or making the shift
from pleated to plain front pants. Greater
risks, and greater glories, can be found
with grander makeovers dying your dark
hair platinum blonde, drastically retooling
your wardrobe, or trading in your sneakers
for stilettos. The point is not to be afraid.
We all get trapped from time to time. In
this month that comes in like a lion and
goes out like a lamb, take a chance and see
what transformations you can accomplish.
Alan Bennett Ilagan is a

freelance writer and amateur
photographer who resides in upstate New York with his husband
Andy. He created the website
www.ALANILAGAN.COM.
He was the manager of the Romaine Brooks Gallery from 2008
to 2012. His writing has appeared in Instinct, xy
magazine, Capitalmen, Q Northeast, the Windy
City Times, and the Boston Phoenix. Notable
artistic collaborations have been created with the
likes of Steven Underhill, Paul Richmond, Dennis Dean, and Michael Breyette.
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The Living Balance Sheet and the Living Balance Sheet Logo are registered service marks of The Guardian Life Insurance Company of America (Guardian), New York, NY.
The graphics and text used herein are the exclusive property of Guardian and protected under U.S. and International copyright laws.
Copyright 2005 2013, The Guardian Life Insurance Company of America.
Registered Representative of Park Avenue Securities LLC (PAS) , . Securities products and services are offered through PAS. Financial Representative, The Guardian Life Insurance Company of
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11
GAY MANS MUSINGS by NYVEK MOSHIER
Letters to a Fabulous 8 Year Old

My dear little one, please do not fret
over these simple things. That soft voice
will one day project such passion. One
day that posture of yours will allow you
to withstand a hurricane of social change.
That skip in your step will give you the
power to march for something far greater
than yourself. And I can testify to the fact
that that limp wrist will produce pages
of emotions. Do not fret my child; everything that makes you different now
will one day make you a man who is surrounded by love, kindness and a desire to
live each day to its fullest. This, my dear
child, I promise you.
Hey you. Why arent you playing with the
other kids? I know you have just discovered something about yourself that scares
you. I know you are beginning to realize
that this inner truth sets you apart from
the other children. I fully understand that
the truth you have realized is something
you know will create challenges for you
in the future. I know your first memory
of feeling this was when you were 4. And
I know you would give anything to feel
about it now as you did then, because
at the age of 4 you had no understanding of just how it made you different. But
take heart hun. Everything you are feeling now, while frightening, will lead to
a world beyond your imagination. Everything you are feeling now will drive
you to seek more than the small town in
which you currently ride your bike, go to
school and play in could ever offer. One
day, the very thing you fear at this moment will place you in the arms of an
amazingly beautiful person with a smile
that will warm your heart for the rest of
your days. What you fear about yourself
now, is something you will unapologetically fight to protect in the future.
Oh hun, I know you are upset. You wanted to go to Staceys sleep over and you
do not understand why you cant. You
cannot conceive as to why no boys are
allowed. Yes, you have been invited to
Marks camp out in the yard, but there is
no connection there. Mark is cute, but he
and his friends play the dumbest tricks on
each other and the fact that these sometimes involve boogers just does not excite
you the same way it does the other boys. I
know the boundaries set for you by adults
at this point in your life make you feel so
very alone. You feel denied the
12
kids who make you smile and forced to

interact with the ones that go out of their
way to tease you. But cheer up my darling boy. One day you will break through
those boundaries and never look back.
One day you will fight to make sure such
ridiculous presumptions as to the proper
roles of girls and boys become a thing of
the past. One day you will do everything
in your power to make sure that no future
child will have to feel the way you do now.
I know its difficult, but one day you will
be the change you wish you could have in
your current world.
Hey you. I see you standing there with
those hearts and not thrilled as to whats
expected of you. All the boys and girls in
class are taking joy in giving their valentines to each other. I know you want to
give yours to Josh. I know it frustrates
you to have to walk by his desk and put
one of your hearts on Staceys desk instead. Stacey is sweet and you adore her,
but she is not Josh. I know why you tease
Josh, its the only way you can show him
affection without anyone becoming suspicious of whats in your heart. I know
this saddens you deeply hun. But you
just wait. One day you will do more than
give a paper heart to a boy you like. One
day you will give not just your heart, but
also your soul to an amazing man. You
will proudly hold his hand as you walk
down the street poking into shops to see
whats on sale. One day his head will rest
on your chest as you watch a movie and
proceed to run your fingers through his
hair. One day you will be nerved wracked
because in a few months you will be committing your life to loving the most amazingly kind and gentle soul. So hold onto
to those hearts hun, Josh is not meant to
have your heart anyways. Your heart my
boy, is meant forWell, I have to leave
you with some mystery.
I see you closing your fists and clenching your jaw. I see those droplets forming
in those baby blues, which will become
more hazel with time. I know someone
you loved just used a word that has caused
you pain. I know it breaks your heart that
you are too afraid to tell them that what
they said cut you deeper than any blade
that could ever be forged by the hand of
man, or woman. I know you feel betrayed
by them. After all, families should love
each other unconditionally. I know you
want to scream the truth at them, but will

instead retreat to your room to hide and
seek comfort in the embrace of your Barney blanket. But cheer up hun. One day
you will find more strength than you ever
thought you could possibly possess. One
day you will tell that loved one exactly
how they made you feel. One day you will
reveal to your whole family the secret that
you currently protect with such conviction. Now some of those close to you will
let you down, but many more will embrace you for everything that makes you
beautiful. You will also one day come to
define family very differently than you do
now. One day you will have a family large
enough to fill a dozen of those cornfields
outside your bedroom window. You will
have a family so diverse it will put Sesame Street to shame. And one day, you
and your soul mate will sit browsing baby
name books, in preparation for a family
of your own. And that word that was just
used against you will have no sway over
you. You will play a role in stripping that
word of its power. One day, the power
inside you will give you the strength to
withstand anything an ignorant world
could ever hope to throw at you. One
day, you and those like you will seize this
world and make it truly beautiful.
Hey you. I see you staring at me with
wonder in those baby blues. When I look
into your eyes, I see everything you want
me to be. I see everything that you hope
I will be. Your eyes tell me so much, such
specific and traditional plans for the future. Well, Im going to have to disappoint
you hun. No, I am not what you wanted
me to be. The standard normal that currently surrounds you will never be reflected in my heart. It is true that I will
never be a carbon copy of those who you
currently look up to and try so desperately to please. But please try and hold off
from being too disappointed in what I am
telling you. Please take comfort in knowing that, while I am not who you wanted
me to be, I have become exactly who you
will one day need me to be.
One day that
posture of
yours will
allow you to
withstand a
hurricane of
social change.
Nyvek is a local college
student who has been
volunteering with the
Pride Center since 2008. It
was Nyveks passion for
weddings that first got him
involved in the fight for
marriage equality and the
community as a whole.
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Learn more, and get your kit by going to CSPofAlbandRen.com
or call (518) 525-8680 for details.
Have you put yourself at risk?
Need PrEP or
HIV testing?
Albany Medical
Center offers free
assesment for PrEP
and free HIV testing.
www.amc.edu/HIV
14
Call 518.262.6923
for more information.
50 IDEAS FOR
SELF-CARE
Read
Volunteer
Wash dishes
Get a haircut
Laugh at yourself
Knit or crochet
Play video games
Stay in your PJs

Make art
Watch TV
Dress in drag
Hang with pets
Rearrange a room
Pleasure yourself
Make lunches for work

Take daily vitamins
Drink lost of water
Host a potluck
Eat chocolate
Drink tea
Put together puzzles
Blast music
Dance in your underwear
Sing in the shower or car
Color in coloring books

Build unstructured time into weekly plans
Deep breathing
Morning stretches
Wake up at sunrise
Hot packs
Meditation
Moisturizer
Acupuncture
Running Showers
Reiki
Yoga
2015 Lyndon Cudlitz / Pride Center of the Capital Region
Write poetry (and speak it aloud to the air)

Listen to podcasts or audiobooks
15
Traditional
& Holistic
Psychotherapies
Traditional & Holistic
PsychotherapiesHow
Traditional
Traditional
&
Holistic
& Holistic
Psychotherapies
Psychotherapies
Traditional
& Holistic Psyc
Mental
Health:
to
Heal
the
Queer
Soul
for Healing
for Healing
&Lev
Growth
& Growth for Healing & Growth
for Healing & Grow
By Arlene
I spend
a lot
of time&thinking
about
Sexual
Orientation
Gender Identity
mental health,
probably
more
Relationship & Parenting Issues than
most people. Healing
For nearly
years I have
Trauma30
& Abuse
been teaching Depression
social work,
which in& Anxiety
hoices
cludes a C
courseRelationship
on psychopathology.
I
Violence
have also been a therapist, specializing
Recovery
in the mentalAddictions
health &care
of LGBTQ
Living
With
HIV
people and their families.& Illness
And, to be
Image
& Eating
Disordersbeing
transparent,Body
I am
also
a human
Homestudies
& Adoption Services
and had my
own challenges
with the
vagaries of human pain and suffering.
Anyone who
is Orientation
suffering
wants
relief.
Indeed,
they
lived
inOrientation
emotional
Sexual
Orientation
& Gender
Identity
Sexual
Sexual &Orientation
Gender Identity
& Gender logical.
Identity
Sexual
& Gender Id
But if we have
no
definition
of
mental
pain
because
they
saw
themselves
as
Issues
Relationship Relationship
& Parenting Issues
& Parenting Issues Relationship & ParentingRelationship
& Parenting
Iss
health, how do Healing
we know
how
to
attain
psychologically
ill.
This
is
something
Healing Trauma & AbuseHealing Trauma & Abuse
Trauma
Healing
& Abuse
Trauma & Abuse
relief? Is it enough
to just &Depression
stop
the pain hard for aDepression
younger& Anxiety
generation
to unDepression
Anxiety & Anxiety
hoices
hoices
C
C
(alcohol can
sometimes
numb
pain;
exderstand
the
problem
was
often
not
Relationship Violence Relationship Violence
Relationship Relationship
Violence
Violence
cessive pornography might lower stress; homophobia from the outside, but a
Addictions & Recovery Addictions & Recovery
Addictions &Addictions
Recovery & Recovery
avoidance of intimate
relationships
can hollow unending
pain on the inside
Living
With of
HIVyour
& Illness
Living
With
HIV
Living
&
Illness
With
HIV
&
Illness
quickly solve most interpersonal is- that assured you
worthlessness
Body Image
& Eating Disorders
Bodysome
Image Body
&
Eating
Image
& Eating Disorders
Body Image & Eating Disord
sues)? Is there
way
toDisorders
measure
as a human
being.
Services
Homestudies
Homestudies
& Adoption
Services
& Adoption
& Adoption Ser
happiness, joy,
satisfaction
in our
lives ServicesHomestudies & AdoptionHomestudies
to know that we are on the right path to Before homosexuality was officially rea state of mental health?
moved from the DSM it was replaced
with a slightly
less&noxious
diagno-& Consu
Counseling
Consulting Counseling
Counseling &
Counseling
Consulting& Consulting
Often following the518-438-2222
suicide or
excessive
sis:
Ego-Dystonic
Homosexuality.
In
518-438-2222
518-438-2222
518-438-2222
drinking/drugging Fax
binge
of
a
promithe
psych-speak
of
the
profession
this
Fax 438-7777
438-7777
Fax 438-7777
Fax 438-7777
nent entertainer exposed on social me- meant Homosexuals were very un523
Western
floor) Avenue,
Albany, Suite
NY 12203
523 Western Avenue,
523 Western
Suite 2AAvenue,
(secondSuite
floor)2A
Albany,
(secondNY
floor)
12203
Albany,
NY Avenue,
12203 Suite 2A (second
523 Western
2A (second floor) A
dia, there
is a barrage
of www.choicesconsulting.com
public service
comfortable with info@choicesconsulting.com
their sexuality
and
info@choicesconsulting.com
info@choicesconsulting.com
www.choicesconsulting.com
www.choicesc
messages saying Seek help. As I am felt bad about themselves. This pain and
sitting at home watching television or discomfort is also a mental illness, even
on the Internet, I find myself thinking if it is technically okay to have feelings
3.75 x 5 for someone of
3.75 xI5 am the
3.75 x help
5
3.75 the
x 5
that
they are encoursame sex. This too
aging people to seek, as if therapy is a was later removed because it became
panacea for human suffering, as if go- clear that living in a homophobic and
ing to therapy, could replace doing the heterosexist culture left few happy
work that happens in therapy. If only well-adjusted homosexuals.
therapy (or medication) was powerful enough to eradicate human pain.
There have been seismographic changes
in the social and political world for LGB
Psychology is the study not just of the people changes that have generated
mind or the brain, but of the soul an increase in legal protections, marpsyche comes from the word for soul riage equality, and a freedom to live our
-- breath, life, spirit. Maintaining qual- lives that a previous generation could
ity mental health requires us to think not have imagined. It is worth ponderabout how we care for our souls. We are ing whether these social changes would
all in a process of daily decision-mak- have happened if homosexuality had
ing about how we live, the choices we remained in the DSM. Throwing off the
make, that ultimately point us towards yoke and stigma of pathology allowed
increased health and well-being, or a not only for the coming out of gay, lesstate of mental dis-ease. Yes, therapy can bian, and bisexual people, but also alhelp (and medication). As can yoga, or lowed for legal and political transformeditation, or finding a spiritual path. mations that could never have been
But, in truth there is no quick fix. Get- granted a mentally ill population. As
ting sober is certainly better than active Richard Green has said, On that fateaddiction; but that doesnt mean it will ful day in 1973, in America alone, sevfeel good, at least not immediately. eral million mentally ill persons were
Climbing out of depression, takes work, cured.
and its hard to work hard when you feel
depressed.
The cure produced the possibility of
legal changes, but also a slow but steady
For queer folk there are added compli- healing of the LGB soul, a glimpse, and
cations. When homosexuality was first later a watershed experience, of comremoved from the DSM, it was very ing into wholeness. Many young people
controversial, not just for the psychia- will never grow up thinking they are
trists who voted to remove it, but for sick, or bad, or dirty, in the way an
gay and lesbian people most of who older generation did.
had been raised to believe homosexuality was a mental illness and actually This process is currently mirrored in
saw their own desires as sick and patho- the ongoing struggle to remove Gender
T
raditional & Holistic Psychotherapies
T
raditional & Holistic Psychotherapies T
raditional & Holistic Psychotherapies
Traditional & Holistic Psychotherapies Traditional & Holistic PsychotherTradipiteisonal & Holistic Psychotherapies
for Healing & Growth for Healing & Growth
Addictions & Recover y
Homestudies & Adoption Ser vices
& Consulting
518-438-2222
Counseling
Fa x
438-7777

i n fo @ c h o i ce s co n s u l t i n g. co m w w w. c h o i ce s co n s u l t i n g. co m
3.75
Choices
Mental health problems,

mental illCounseling i.e.,
& Consulting
ness, are defined518-438-2222
by the Diagnostic and
Statistical Manual
Mental Health
Fax of
438-7777
Disorders (DSM-5) which outlines all
defining
characteristics of mental illinfo@choicesconsulting.com www.choicesconsulting.com
nesses; it was recently updated in 2013.
The book weighs nearly 5 pounds, and
is almost 1000 pages long. It covers over
3.75
x 5diagnostic categories and cost ap300
proximately $25 million to produce; it
is the primary funding source for the
American Psychiatric Association. Researchers estimate that approximately
25% of the adult U.S. population suffers from one or more mental illnesses
listed in the DSM. That is one in four
adults. Approximately 20% of children
are diagnosed with a mental health issue every year. Given the extensive and
detailed knowledge about mental illness described in the DSM, you might
be surprised to learn it does not define
mental health at all!

How can it be that we have such detailed information about mental illness
depression and anxiety, ADD, ODD,
OCD, sleep disorders, and addictive
disorders yet really do not have a
working definition of mental health?
Now in all fairness, the DSM included
homosexuality until 1973 (I was in
high school), and still includes Gender Dysphoria clearly an imperfect
bible. But anyone who has struggled
with depression even a small subclinical depression or found themselves drinking consistently more than
they thought was healthy, but couldnt
stop (or at least didnt stop, even if they
thought they could), knows that there
is something painfully real about human emotional pain. Even if the term
mental illness is a total turn-off, suffering is, however, an indisputable human
experience, whatever we call it.
Living With HIV & Il ness
hoiCounselcinesg Consulting
&
518-438-2222
Counseling & Consulting

518-438-2222
& Consulting
518-438-2222
Counseling
Fa x
Fa x
438-7777
438-7777

3.75
3.75
Choices
Choices ChoicesChoices
&
518-438-2222
&
518-438-2222
Traditional
& Holistic
Psych
Traditional
& Holistic
Psychotherapi
Traditional & Holistic Psychotherapies Traditional
Traditional&
&Holistic
HolisticPsychotherapies
Psychotherapies
16
for
forHealing
Healing&
&Growth
Growth
for Healing
& Grow
for Healing
& Growth
Dysphoria from the DSM, as a proud
Welcoming Congregations
Counseling & Consulting

518-438-2222
Ser vices
Disorders
I llness
Adoption
Anxiety
Violence
Recover y
438-7777
&
HIV
&
Eating
I mage
Living
&
Homestudies
F
ax
&
With
&
&
Depression
Relationship
Addictions
&
Body
Congregation Temple Sinai

(Reform)
509 Broadway, Saratoga
Springs
www.templesinai-saratogasprings.org
(518) 584-8730
Eastern Parkway United

Methodist Church
943 Palmer Avenue,
Schenectady
www.easternparkway.weebly.com
(518)374-4306
St. Georges Episcopal

Church
30 North Ferry St.,
Schenectady
www.stgeorgesschenectady.org
Emmanuel Baptist Church
275 State Street, Albany, NY
www.emmanuelalbany.net
First Lutheran Church

181 Western Avenue, Albany
www.FirstLutheranAlbany.org
(518)463-1326
362 State Street, Albany
www.firstpresalbany.org
(518)449-7332
First Reformed Church
8 North Church Street,
Schenectady
www.1streformed.com
First Unitarian Society of
Schenectady
1221 Wendell Avenue,
Schenectady
www.fussonline.org
(518)374-4446
First Unitarian Universalist
Society of Albany
405 Washington Avenue,
Albany
www.albanyuu.org
(518)463-7135
First United Methodist
Church
603 State Street, Schenectady,
www.gbgm-umc.org/schenectady
(518)374-4403
First United Methodist
Church, East Greenbush
www.fumceg.org
First United Presbyterian
Church
1915 Fifth Avenue, Troy
www.unitedprestroy.org
(518)272-2771
Friends Meeting (Quaker)
727 Madison Avenue, Albany
(518) 436-8812
Presbyterian New England
Congregational Church,
Saratoga
http://pnecchurch.org/
5
Identity
Issues
Abuse
Gender
Parenting
&
Congregation Ohav Shalom

(Conservative)
113 New Krumkill Road,
Albany
www.ohavshalom.org
First Congregational Church

of Albany
UCC & NACCC
405 Quail Street, Albany
www.firstcongregationalalbany.
org
(518)482-4580
Congregation Gates of
Heaven (Reform)
842 Ashmore Avenue,
Schenectady
www.cgoh.org
(518)374-8173
First Church in Albany

110 North Pearl Street,
Albany
www.firstchurchinalbany.org
(518)463-4449
Good Shepherd Lutheran

Church
501 Albany Shaker Road,
Loudonville
3.75
Congregation Beth Emeth

(Reform)
100 Academy Road, Albany
www.bethemethalbany.org
(518)436-9761
523 Wester n
Avenue,
Suite
2A
(second
floor)
Albany,
NY
12203
i n fo @ c h o i c e s c o n s u l t i n g. c o m
w w w. c h o i c e s c o n s u l t i n g . c o m
Founder of Choices Counseling and

Consulting (www.
choicesconsulting.
com), and has
been providing
individual and
family
therapy for
hoices
Counseling
Consulting
the LGBTQ community
of &
the
Capital Region
518-438-2222
since 1986. She isFax
also438-7777
the Clinical Supervisor
for Center Support Counseling, at the Pride
Center. She can be reached at 518-438-2222.
Choices
Arlene Lev LCSWTraditional & Holistic Psychotherapies

R, CASAC, is the
Congregation Berith Sholom

(Reform)
167 Third Street, Troy
www.berithsholom.org
(518)272-8872
Trauma
The healing of the queer soul is a process of coming home to ourselves.

Recognizing our own human suffering anxiety, depression, addiction
and committing ourselves to the heros
journey of finding solutions that work
for us, which might include coming
out, therapy, support groups, medication, meditation, yoga, and combinations of treatments aimed at creating a
holistic and balanced self. Perhaps the
DSM does not define mental health
because it is an individual process,
indeed an ongoing process, without
an endpoint. How do you define your
own mental health, and what do you
do to support the healing of your (very
queer, very fruitful) soul?
Congregation Bnai Shalom

(Reform)
420 Whitehall Road, Albany
www.bnaishalom.albany.ny.us
(518) 482-5283
Orientation
The World Health Organization defines mental health as follows: Mental

health is not just the absence of men3.75 x 5
tal illness. It is a state of well-being in
which every individual realizes his or
her own potential, can cope with the
normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to
make a contribution to his or her community.
Congregation Agudat Achim

(Conservative)
2117 Union Street,
Schenectady
www.agudatachim.org (518)
393-9211
Healing
consulting.com
Community Reformed
Church of Colonie
701 Sand Creek Road,
Colonie
www.coloniereformed.org
(518)869-5589
Relationship
hoices
Church (UCC)
221 Columbia Tpke,
Rensselaer
www.clintonheightsucc.org
Sexual
LGB people there are two levels of

healing, one is healing from the horOrientation & Gender Identity
dentity
rors Sexual
of ongoing
societal oppression
sues
and the other is the internalization of
Trauma
& Abuse
e
negative Healing
messages
about
ones self and
Depression
& Anxiety
ones worth.
The psychological
anguish
Violence gender dysof painfulRelationship
ego-dystonic
phoria causes
soul&dis-ease.
Addictions
Recovery Although I
will neverLiving
believe
that
gender dysphoWith HIV
& Illness
s
ria
is
a
mental
illness,
I
do believe genBody Image & Eating Disorders
ders
der
dysphoria
exists,
and
that healing
rvices
the psyche of gender dysphoria is not
something that can always be solved
by an improved social world, but rathulting
& Consultingrecovery
er requires Counseling
a psychological
518-438-2222
of ones relationship with their body,
438-7777
their soul, asFax
well
as the communities
inWestern
which
weSuite
live.
523
Avenue,
2A (second floor) Albany, NY 12203
Albany, NY 12203
T
raditional & Holistic P
sychotherapies
Traditional
& Holistic
Psychotherapies
chotherapies
trans community
names
themselves, Join Us In Exploring Your Spiritual Side At One Of The Welcoming Congregations Below:
and forges
their own
freedom. Like Community Congregational
for Healing
& Growth
wth
(518)465-5161
www.goodshepherdchurchloudonville.org
(518)458-1562
Holy Trinity National

Catholic Church
405 Washington Avenue,
Albany
www.NCCofA.org/holytrin.html
(518)434-8861
Journey United
Church of Christ
500 Kenwood Blvd, Delmar
www.journeyucc.com
Saratoga Springs United
Methodist Church
175 Fifth Avenue,
Saratoga Springs
www.saratogaspringsumc.org
(518)584-3720
Saint Aelreds Priory and
Retreat House
(National Catholic)
670 Bunker Hill Road,
Northville
staelredpriory@aol.com
(518) 863-8086 / (518) 434-8861
St. Andrews Episcopal Church
Main at Madison Avenue,
Albany
www.standrewsalbany.org
(518)489-4747
St. Johns Lutheran Church
160 Central Avenue, Albany
www.stjohnsalbany.org
(518)465-7545
Unitarian Universalist
Congregation of Saratoga
624 North Broadway,
Saratoga Springs
www.saratoga-uu.org
(518)584-1555
Unity Church in Albany
21 King Avenue, Albany
www.unitychurchinalbany.org
(518)453-3603
Woodstock
Jewish Congregation
(Reconstructionist)
1682 Glasco Turnpike,
Woodstock
www.wjcshul.org
(845)246-1671
Proud To
Be
Open!
Affirming!
Welcoming!
T
& Holistic Psychothe
3.75 x 5
hotherapies
ies Traditional & Holistic Psychotherapies
wth
Joyous!
17
cies
understand
how important it
is to receive the appropriate level of
care for people to
remain safe and independent in their
homes. An RN and
a client service supervisor will oversee care and staff on
each case. Services
are customized to
meet your needs
from 2 hours a day
up to 24 hours a day
7 days a week. A
continuum of care from nonmedical companion right up
to a skilled nursing level can
be provided. So as your needs
change the agency is there to
help identify those needs and
HOME
HEALTHCARE
Show
Your
Pride
Online
There is no place like

home, home care can help
you live a safe, independent
and enriched life. If you want
to stay in your home you are
not alone. Today more than
80% of seniors would prefer
to stay in their homes if they
need help. Not everyone that
needs care at home is a senior. The good news is that
home care can provide that
extra help to keep you living independently. Whether
help is needed short term
due to an injury or surgery
or long care to keep you in
your home, before the next
level of care may be needed.
You are in control of how
much help you need. You
have several different levels
of care to choose from. Help
that can be provided may be
at the companion level which
may include meal preparation, light housekeeping,
doctor appointments, outings, socialization, safety and
much more. Home Health
Aide level of care may include bathing, grooming,
assisting with ambulation,
medication reminders, toileting, meal preparation, light
housekeeping and much
more. Nursing level of care
may include medication
management, client assessments and reassessments and
much more. Home care agen-
provide the appropriate level

of care. If you or your family
are considering hiring someone privately to help with
services in your home, please
make sure you are a fully informed consumer. Knowing
the issues and the facts can
actually save you money and
prevent possible legal problems.
Agency versus private hire, are you making the
right choice? When you hire a
licensed agency you have the
comfort of knowing that each
employee has been carefully
screened, bonded and insured. And since they are employees of the agency, there
is no need to worry about
taxes, social security of liabil-
ity insurance. Employees are

also insured and covered by
workers compensation as required by law. When you hire
privately you are responsible
for knowing what services are
needed for you or your loved
one. There is no RN involved
to be able to make health care
needs assessments. You are
the boss and responsible for
managing performance and
discipline. You are also responsible if there is an injury
in your home. This could result in medical bills or even
a major lawsuit. When you
hire an agency every attempt
is made to skill match.
An example of companion
care is an older golfer who
could no longer drive but
still wanted to golf so the
agency provided a golfing
companion. They played several times a week and were
so good they won awards at
the golf course. Another example of home care, is a man
who lived out the area had to
go through chemo at Albany
Medical Center and was staying at the hotel hired an aide
through an agency. The aide
not only helped daily with his
personal care but went with
him to his chemo treatments.
When you are considering
staying at home and need
support there are licensed
home care agencies to meet
your needs.
HUDSON
LGBTQA YOUTH GROUP
Hudson Opera House | 327 Warren St, Hudson, New York 12534 | THIRD TUESDAY of every month | 4:30-6pm
for lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans*, queer, asexual & allied youth ages 18 & under
18
T O
B E
B L E S S I N G
Reclaiming God, Faith & Community by Deborah Reyome

In June 2014, I took a mini-vacation
and visited friends on the coast of Maine.
Although still a bit cool, the weather was
mostly clear. The views were amazing;
intensely blue skies, a rich green array
of tree varieties, and the majestic ocean,
awe-striking waves crashing up against
Maines notorious rocky shore. Its source,
in the seemingly ominous horizon in the
east, is what consistently draws me to
this place. It is the unknown, and when
I stand on the shore and look out, it is
where I find peace.
I have not always had this perspective; to
welcome that which I cannot see, and believe, spiritually, it is all going to be O.K.
It being what may, indeed, be on the
horizon for me. Although I still contend
with a few lingering demons from my
past, I am no longer immersed in its torment. I am largely at peace with myself
and who I have become regardless of the
world in which we live with all of its preconceived judgments.
I grew up in a traditional Catholic family where not only attending mass on
Sundays was required, but also first Fridays and every day during the summer
months. Additionally, residing in a small
rural community, the Church provided
a range of activities of which my large
extended family was integrally involved.
One can only imagine how a feisty little
tomboy, unwilling to subscribe to gender
roles and play with a Barbie doll (other
than to use it as a prop for rodeos) survived.
God was to be feared. It was drilled into
us that if anything bad happened, it was
because we were being punished. Obviously, the implications for a child to absorb this belief system, in the context of
a sometimes insensitive and cruel world,
are enormous. Suffice it to say the end
result of tragic experiences in my youth

was devastating, complex trauma deeply
ingrained into every essence of my being.
In August of 1990, I began a journey back

in time that enabled me to simultaneously begin a journey forward. I was 29, and
letting go of a heavy nicotine addiction
when I crashed and desperately sought
solace by developing a working relationship with God through a self-help
program. Over the years, God got redefined and captured. Spirit. Creator. No
longer simply restricted to a whimsical
male deity, God became a much greater
Source from which to draw power to not
only heal from the deepest of wounds,
but to also fully realize my own unique
blend of knowledge, skills and creativity
to offer humanity.
Early on, I rigorously read any spiritual
book that I could get my hands on that
challenged my perception of God. The
Seat of the Soul by Gary Zukov totally
changed the way I oriented my responsibility to others. I regularly church
surfed, practicing various religious and
spiritual traditions for months, years at a
time.
Once, in the midst of struggling with
significant medical issues, I diligently
studied the Bhagavad-Gita and practiced
yoga - Karma Yoga (the yoga of Action),
Bhakti Yoga (the yoga of Devotion) and
Jnana Yoga (the yoga of Knowledge). And
a true blessing it all became for in my efforts to sooth, I discovered the reaffirming nature inherent in spiritual seeking.
The truth of my Spirit became honored again and again as I read through
the scriptures and practiced deep guided
meditation, intuitively sensing answers to
the problems in my life. As time passed,
I stopped hating myself and discovered a
self-love that was dependent on my
God was to be feared. It was drilled into us that if anything bad happened, it was because we were being punished.
spiritual relationship with my Creator

and little else.
Last year, I began studying Ignatian Spirituality, took part in an intensive Vipassana training, and regularly attended a
spiritual discernment group. If there was
a single gift that I could give others struggling to find peace and comfort, it would
be spiritual discernment and connection. When your default becomes, Im
good with God, rather than internalized
shame and humiliation from the judgment of others, like-minded or not, there
is no greater blessing to be had.
I have all too often been in the company
of LGBTQ folks and allies who bristle at
the mention of the word, God. And understandably so, given how weve all been
used as fodder for political candidates
and religious leaders alike. But equally
disheartening is the realization that so
many of us in our efforts to protect ourselves have inadvertently made the ultimate sacrifice in falling prey to such
opportunists by denying the existence of
anything greater.
Please note that last months To Be a Blessing
erroneously stated that Do-Re -Mi originates
from Mary Poppins. It is from The Sound of
Music.
God got redefined

and captured.
Deborah Reyome, Ph.D., LMSW is an Assistant Professor of Social Work at the College of St. Rose. She facilitates Reclaiming
God, Faith & Community, a support group
for LGBTQs and allies, that meets every 1st
& 3rd Saturday of the month at the First
Reformed Church in
the Stockade section
of Schenectady from
6-7:30 p.m. Please contact Deborah at ridewthwind@yahoo.com
if you are interested in
attending or would like
more information.
This article is one of a series provided by Advocates for Welcoming Congregations, a Capital Region group that encourages the welcoming of LGBT
persons into the full life and leadership of communities of faith. The group also works to make visible for members of the LGBT community opportunities
for practicing their faith traditions.
19
TR A NS* V IEW
Whos in the circle?

by

Circles are by their nature inclusive, a universal symbol for cycles
of all kinds, particularly those cycles
of Nature. Virtually all indigenous
peoples worshipped the cycles of Nature before we began worshiping other things, before we even created gods
and goddesses we knew the circle of
life and our place in it.
Whos to say what happened that the
circle broke or when the circle broke,
or how it broke, or even to be perfectly none circular, who broke the
circle, and whos to blame. But these
days it seems the circle is in tatters, all
its little degrees scattered like so many
grains of sand before the wind. There
are a lot of conflicting stories about
broken circles. Our whole culture, indeed, our whole world runs on them.
Theres not a successful blockbuster
movie that not about us vs. them/
Maybe, its time to ask--whos in the
circle?
Almost 20 years ago on a sunny
Wednesday morning, April 19, 1995,
the Oklahoma bombing took place
shattering our cultural identity in an
instant. Amid the shock waves that
morning, I called a friend to check in
about a mutual friend whom we knew
was already on a plane to have a key
role in the investigation and the recovery at the site. The friend, whose
name and reputation as a founder of
the lesbian separatist movement in
this country would not be known to
those under 55 said to me, You know,
Hawk, for a brief moment this morning, I wanted to believe in the death
penalty and see that guy suffer and
die. I paused, too long maybe, and
said quietly, Me, too. And, almost
simultaneously we said some version,
but then I felt so horribly ashamed
for thinking that. We talked a bit
more about what might have driven
someone (we didnt know who then)
to do something like that and felt sad
for the terrible loss and what suffering
those directly touched by the bombing would endure and questioned
would they ever fully recover. That
day, we broke the circle, even if for
a moment, and felt deeply ashamed,
20
Moonhawk RiverStone
felt remorse for being fully human

and the inescapable product of our
reptilian brain wanting to lash out
and hurt for having been hurt, even
though we were not the ones bombed
we wanted the blood lust of revenge.
For my friend was also a nationally
known member of the revival of paganism among feminists, and I, too,
traveled that path and we both knew
the violation we committed to that
circle was as ancient as it was modern. We forged a different bond that
day humbled by how fragile our hold
on the circle had been.
Most readers will know this more recent story. On December 28, 2014,
Leelah Alcorn, 17, a transgender girl,
stepped out in front of a semitrailer
and committed suicide. She left a
startling suicide note published post
her death on tumblr creating a firestorm of responses. Like that day in
Oklahoma many of us had that moment, some longer than a moment,
wanting to hurt her parents for what
had happened, wanting to lash out to
a religious belief that encouraged and
sanctioned reparative therapy, wanted
to lash out to a society whose circle
does not include transgender people,
especially transgender children. It felt
at times you could actually smell the
blood lust in the air. I am so incredibly proud that so many in our transgender community rose and spoke of
compassion, of the need to change
things, the need to be nonviolent and
to end violence of all kinds against
transgender people. I am most humbled by those parents of transgender
children like my dear friend and colleague, Shannon Garcia, cofounder
of Trans Youth Family Allies, the
first national organization devoted to
trans kids and their parents. In her
facebook post she spoke powerfully
of the need for compassion toward
Leelahs parents for bringing them
into the circle for surrounding them
with love. Shannon spoke to making
the circle whole. If Leelahs desperate
action does anything, it is my hope
that beyond it being the transformative moment for transgender peoples
inclusion in the circle, it is one of
THE transformative moments for the
rebuilding of the world circle.

It is easy for us to exclude those who
commit acts of violence and cruelty
from the circle, to create an us and
them like those blockbuster movies we are constantly being fed. It is
much easier and more convenient to
put Carla and Doug Alcorn, to put
Timothy McVeigh and Terry Nichols,
to put ISIS (the Islamic State of Iraq
and Syria), to put Adam Lanza and
his mother, Nancy Lanza outside the
circle like some kind of dirty garbage
we dont want to in our homes or in
our heats and spirits. Its the challenge
of a lifetime, to extend our hands and
to open the fragment of our part of
the circle to Carla and Doug, Tim and
Terry, ISIS and Adam and Nancy. As
Doug Wong, in a article (1/25/15)
on www.cracked.com states there are
only two groups in the world: those
who want to dominate Earth and
those who want to coexist or the broken circle or the whole circle.
Whos in the circle? Whos in your
circle? And whos not in your circle?
Indeed, whos in the circle is all that
matters these days. That we rebuild
the circle, gather those grains of sand
and fuse them together to reform the
whole is the arduous work of lifetimes,
but it is our work, the only work we
need do. For it is not our tribe against
your tribe, but it is truly we are all
One Tribe. No matter the diversity in
each grain of sand, each difference is
an integral part of the whole. I have
faith that Leelahs sacrifice has made
our little corner of the circle a whole
lot more whole.
I read recently of this in Spirituality
and Health (1/2/2015). In an article
by Kathryn Medico (pp. 26-27) she
speaks of taking a vow of nonviolence
many years ago and the huge transformation that happened layer by
layer over the ensuing time. Consider
this, consider the making the circle
whole. Consider, maybe taking the
vow. Weve nothing to lose and circle
of wholeness to gain.
So, whos in the circle? Everyone.
Until next time...T
(A special thank you to the person who brought David Wongs article to my attention in just the nick of time!
www.cracked.com/blog/6-ways-to-keep-terrorists-from-ruining-world/#ixzz3RD5fHeHj)
Vow
of
Nonviolence
Like What You See?? Consider Giving a Gift.
Close your eyes.
Serving
10 Center
Counties,of the
the Pride
onlyoldest
LGBTQ
betweencenter
Kingston
the Canadian
The Pride
CapitalCenter
Regionis the
is the
gaycommunity
and lesbiancenter
community
in theand
country
and has
grown
to
be
the
largest
lesbian,
gay,
bisexual,
transgender
and
queer
(LGBTQ)
multi-service
agency
in
Upstate
Border. The Pride Centers mission is to promote the well-being of all gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender
and
NY.
queer identified people and those affected by discrimination based on gender identity and expression.
Take 3 deep, cleansing

breaths.
Put your awareness in
your heart.
Ask yourself honestly
if you are willing
to take the vow of
nonviolence.
State aloud:
I am committed to
bringing about
a world of peace,
harmony, laughter
and love. I take this
vow to be nonviolent
in my thoughts, my
speech and my
actions.
The Pride Center of the Capital Region is the oldest gay and lesbian community center in the country and has
grown to be the largest lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer (LGBTQ) multi-service agency in Upstate
Like What You See?? Consider Giving a Gift.
NY.
Serving 10 Counties, the Pride Center is the only LGBTQ community center between Kingston and the Canadian
Border. The Pride Centers mission is to promote the well-being of all gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and
Because
of you, the Pride Centers core programs and services will continue to benefit the LGBTQ and Capital
queer identified people and those affected by discrimination based on gender identity and expression.
Region community now and in the future. Our programs include the following: CENTER ARTS, CENTER FAMILIES,
Because of you, the Pride Centers core programs and services will continue to benefit the LGBTQ and Capital
CENTER
SUPPORT, CENTER
YOUTH,
TRAINING
EDUCATION,
TRANS
PRIDE,
andFAMILIES,
VINTAGE
Region community
now and
in theCOMMUNITY
future. OurOUTREACH,
programs include
theAND
following:
CENTER
ARTS,
CENTER
CENTERYour
SUPPORT
YOUTH,
COMMUNITY
AND EDUCATION,
TRANS PRIDE,
and VINTAGE
PRIDE.
gifts, CENTER
stay local,
helping
to serveOUTREACH,
the LGBTQTRAINING
community
in Albany, Columbia,
Fulton,
Greene,
PRIDE. Your gifts stay local, helping to serve the LGBTQ community in Albany, Columbia, Fulton, Greene,
Montgomery,
Montgomery, Rensselaer,
Rensselaer, Saratoga,
Saratoga, Schenectady,
Schenectady, Warren
Warren and
and Washington
Washington Counties.
Counties.
Tear Out - Pledge Form
Mail to: 332 Hudson Ave, Albany, NY 12210
Have Questions or NeedTear
Additional
Information?
Out - Pledge
Form Call: (518) 462 - 6138
To help the Pride Center of the CapitalMail

Regionto: 332IHudson
Ave,gift Albany,
NY 12210
will fulfill my
in the following
manner:
I want to make a __ oneHave

time Questions
__ monthly giftorof:Need ______Check
Additional Information?
462 -of6138
made payable Call:
to the (518)
Pride Center
the Capital Region
Rev. Moonhawk River

Stone of
Riverstone
Consulting is
an Interfaith
Minister, transgender activist,
writer, educator, consultant, keynote
speaker and
psychotherapist in private
practice for
over 25 years
with experience
and extensive
expertise in all
aspects of transgender policy and
health.
TRANS
VIEW
#130
$25 $50 $75 $100 $250

To$10
hel
p
the PrideOther
Center$___________
of the Capital Region
$500 $1000
I wil fulfil my gift in the following manner:
________ MasterCard ______ Visa
is:
CVV
_______ Amex
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wantgiftto make a __ one time __ monthly gift of: ______Check made payable to the Pride Center of the Capital Region
___In Memory of ___In Honor of
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$10
$25 $50 $75 $100 $250
________ MasterCard ______ Visa _______ Amex
Honoree _______________________________ Other Ways To Give to the Pride Center:
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$1000 Other $___________
Please give us your name and address below:
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Workplace Giving: SEFA, UNITED WAY, Northern New England CFC
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regarding matching gifts & please
iStreet
s:
___In Memory of ___In Honor of CVV
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natureemployer
________________________________
apply to have your gift matched.
Honoree
Other
WaysGiving:
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to theabout
Prideleaving
Center:a lasting impact on the Pride Center
City _______________________________
State
Zip
Planned
Thinking
of the Capital Region through your will and estate plans? Please contact us
Please give us your name and address below:
Donate
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21
Matching Gifts: Check with your employer regarding matching gifts & please
apply to have your gift matched.
MEET 6 OF THE NEW LEADERS IN OUR COMMUNITY!
It is with great pride that we welcome six new very talented individuals to our leadership. The Pride Center is at an
exciting time and the interest and dedication of people like our new board members is evidence of our growth. As
the chair of the Governance Committee, I am honored to welcome them all aboard! ~ Joe Kerwin, Governance Chair
Kimberly Eck, PhD
Kimberly Eck grew up on a farm in Pennsylvania. She spent six years living in the
Midwest and moved to Albany in 2007. She now lives in the Helderberg neighborhood
of Albany with two Boston Terriers - who are adorable. Kimberly owns a business with her
husband called Classy Body Art. Its a piercing studio dedicated to providing safe, professional piercings, high-quality American-made titanium and gold jewelry, and empowering
clients to demand safe piercings. With a background is in public health, Kimberly is most
excited about the Pride Center's public health-related initiatives, especially clinician education and youth outreach. She believes that Community-based organizations are essential
to connecting marginalized communities with inclusive health care providers. Kimberly is
excited about joining the board because it affords her the opportunity to develop new skills, especially strategic planning.
She, along with the UAlbany students she teaches, are looking
forward to supporting the Pride Center through grant writing.
Joseph Bailey is excited to be joining the Board of Directors. He earned his B.A. in Political Science from SUNY Cortland in 2009, and currently works as an Assistant Vice President of Retail Banking for TD Bank. Joe and his wife Samantha live in Voorheesville with
their new daughter Abigail, and their yellow lab Annabelle.
Linda Richardson grew up in Rye, New York and have
lived in Connecticut, Montana, California, Arkansas and
Joseph Bailey
Maine. Linda is anxious to use what she has learned throughout her career at Siena College, whose mission is to promote
lifelong learning, to make even a small contribution to the Pride Center. She is excited by
the ability to be a part of a community that has struggled to be accepted and respected and
the Pride Center serves as a strong advocate. Linda is addicted
to Law and Order marathons and was recently found to be
stalking ICE -T. She is looking forward to meeting everyone.
Linda Richardson
John Daniels lives in Troy, and is the President of L&P

Media. Joining the board with significant board experience,
John is excited to bring his support of the Pride Center to the next level. Having served on
numerous other boards and dedicating much of his personal
and professional time to dozens of other causes, John has
expertise in marketing and fundraising.
Kisha Santiago-Martinez lives in Delmar with her
wife. Kisha is excited to be planting roots in the Capital
John Daniels
Region, where her wife Michelle grew up. Kisha participated
in the Governors Empire Fellowship program after spending years working in urban
planning between New York City and Albany. She is excited to
bring her talents to the Pride Center, and after serving on the
Scholarship Committee in 2014 believes in the impact of the
organization because she has seen it firsthand.
Kisha Santiago-Martinez
Vincent Lanzone lives in East Greenbush with his husband

Michael and their 2 dogs. Vince was first connected to the Pride Center as a 16 year old in
need of someone to talk to. When Joe Norton answered the phone at the Center, Vince found
the support he was looking for. Since that time, Vince has been a very successful businessman
both on wall street and now in his role as a financial advisor. He has served on the Pride Centers Finance Committee for two years and is excited to serve in the leadership of the organization.
Vincent Lanzone
The Pride Center of the Capital Region (Pride Center) is dedicated to serving the lesbian, gay, bisexual,
transgender and queer (LGBTQ) community in the Capital Region. Based in Albany, the Pride Center has
been meeting the diverse needs of LGBTQ people in a ten county region since 1970. Our programs, both
at the Center (332 Hudson Ave in Albany) as well as held throughout the region, meet the health and
human service needs of the LGBTQ community as well as educate and advocate for those needs in the
broader Capital Region. As the oldest continuously-operating LGBTQ community center in the country,
the Pride Center has worked to build a welcoming and empowering community for all people.
22
Pri
A LETTER FROM
THE NEW PRESIDENT
Dear Friends in
Pride:
What an incredible honor it is for

me to serve as the
President of the
Pride Center for
2015-2017! We have so much to be thankful for and immensely proud of as we enter our
45th year of the Centers existence.
As I begin my new leadership role, I want to pay
tribute to those courageous, dedicated souls who
came together in the early 1970s to establish our
Pride Center. Those were times of tremendous social upheaval and injustice. It is hard for many of
us today to imagine the often brutal, sometimes
horrific treatment and overt discrimination our
LGBT predecessors faced in earlier times. But, despite incredible odds, many brave and truly dedicated community members recognized the need
to have a safe, supportive place where the LGBT
community could come together. And through
hard work and perseverance, the Pride Center
was established and has continued to operate over
these past forty five years. To those many LGBTQ
leaders of the past you have my eternal thanks
and gratitude!
WHAT IS YOUR LEGACY,

YOUR VISION FOR THE FUTURE?
Pride Center Legacy Society
And speaking of thanks as we begin our new

2015 Board year I want to thank several people
who recently ended their Pride Center Board tenure. Laura Gouveia and Mike Mitchell were honored in January for their Board service. And Ken
Mortensen, our distinguished, immediate past
president served on our Board for over a decade!!
In my few years on the Pride Center Board, I was
always inspired by Kens amazing dedication to
the Center, his positive outlook, and his remarkable ability to unite people on behalf of the Pride
Center. Ken Laura Mike please accept my
sincere thanks and appreciation for your service.
The Center is a better place because of you!
HAT IS YOUR LEGACY,

VISION FOR THE FUTURE?

UR VISION FOR THE FUTURE?
Finally I am very happy to introduce the 2015

Board of Directors: Jeffrey Baltes, vice president;
Gretchel Hathaway, secretary; Jeffrey Dyber, treasurer. Joe Bailey; John Daniels, Kimberly Eck, Joseph Kerwin, Vincent Lanzone, Paul Patel, Lesley
Phelan, Linda Richardson, Kisha Santiago-Martinez. I look forward to working with our Board,
and helping move the Center ever forward in
2015.
All the best to you, my Friends in Pride!
Want to know more?

Patricia
K. Wood,
18) 462
6138
forPresident
information.
Want to know more?
Pride
Pride Center
Legacy
Society
Want to know
more?
Planning
for the
can be
CALL
(518) 462
6138future
for information.
difficult. But planning for ourselves
and our families is vitally important.
By preparing now, you can make sure
VISION
FOR
FUTURE?
PYOUR
lanning
for honored
the THE
future
can be
your
wishes
are
by
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youdifficult.
love andBut
trust.
and our families is vitally important.
AND WITH A LITTLE PLANNING TODAY,
By preparing now, you can make sure
YOU CAN MAKE A BIG DIFFERENCE IN THE
your wishes are honored by people
LIVES OF OTHERS TOMORROW.
you love and trust.
Consider
a gift PLANNING
to the Pride
AND leaving
WITH A LITTLE
TODAY,
Center
Trust, or
YOU through
CAN MAKEyour
A BIGWill,
DIFFERENCE
IN THE
other EstateLIVES
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Consider leaving a gift to the Pride
Want toyour
knowWill,
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Center through
Trust, or
CALL (518)
462
6138 for information.
other
Estate
Plan.
23
Pla
diff
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By
you
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YO
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oth
ASK MARK YO U R TA X Q U ESTI O N S
Welcome to the DEAR MARK column where

you can ask a tax question. Of course some
questions might warrant answers that cannot be answered to due to the limited space
in this column or warrant more facts due to
specific circumstances of the taxpayer.
=============================
Dear Mark,
I sold some stock last year that I inherited
but I dont know what the cost was for the
person I inherited from. I just dont know
what to do.
Dear Undecided,
Dear Wondering,
This particular forum is based on questions and answers for taxes. There are
wonderful resources advertised in this
publication that would be relevant to
your situation.
==========================
Mark Witecki,
The first question to ask is if you are in

business at all or just pursuing a hobby.
Perhaps you are an investor. If you truly
are in business, you have to inventory your purchases and deduct the cost
against the selling price when sold. You
dont say if you are using the table in your
business. On the surface it does not look
like your are pursuing a business with a
goal to make a profit. The IRS spells out
several factors that determine whether a
venture is entered into with a reasonable
expectation of a profit. It sounds like you
are pursuing a hobby, or in the alternative, investing in some items. with a distant hope of reselling them at a profit. I
would need more detail on what you are
doing.
=============================
I have heard that there are new rules regarding materials and supplies and some
kind of repair versus capitalizing stuff. I
have done some reading on it and I am
puzzled. Can you help? I know of others
who are just as confused.
VTY,
Confused
Sign me,
Dear Confused,
Dont know what to do.
There has been much discussion about

these topics but there are some safe
harbor rules and well as some De Minimis rules and others. It also involves a
decision to file a Form 3115 with the return. It is somewhat based on facts and
circumstances. Contact me to set up an
appointment and I can review your circumstances.
Dear Dont
In most cases, your cost is what the fair
market value of the stock on the date of
death. If the stock is publicly traded, that
should be easy to find. If not publicly
traded, you may have to get an appraisal
on what the stock is worth.
==========================
Mr. Mark,
My partner and I want to get married but
he wants me to sign a prenuptial. I dont
want to.
He spends lots of money and I am frugal.
We love each other and get along the majority of the time. The worst thing is that
if we get married it looks like we will be
paying higher taxes.
What would be the best course of action
for us?
Undecided
==========================
Mr. Witecki,
I purchased a large sitting table for my
business which I hope someday will be
worth much more than I paid for it, although at present it is just a regular table.
I like to buy things and hang onto them
for a long time and hope to make money
on them. So far that has not worked out
but I am hoping it will. Time will tell. I
plan on purchasing other items that are
ordinary today but some day might be
worth some money. Can I deduct the cost
of these things I am buying?
Wondering
=============================
=============================
Answers that apply to specific taxpayers

may not necessary apply to others. Changes in tax law and rules may affect answers
given at any point. You can write Mark
at Mark Witecki CPA CFP(R) CFE, 3701
State St, Schenectady, NY 12304. Mark
D. Witecki specializes in small businesses
and professional individuals. Mr. Witecki
has a B. S. in Accounting from S. U. N. Y.
Albany and an M. S. in Accounting from
Syracuse University. Mark D. Witecki is a
Certified Public Accountant, CERTIFIED
FINANCIAL PLANNER practitioner,
Certified Fraud Examiner, Certified College Planning Specialist and is admitted
to practice before the United States Tax
Court. Certified Financial Planner Board
of Standards Inc. owns the certification
marks CFP , CERTIFIED FINANCIAL
PLANNER and federally registered
CFP (with flame design) in the U.S., which
it awards to individuals who successfully
complete CFP Boards initial and ongoing
certification requirements. Marks office is
located at 3701 State Street, Schenectady,
New York
=============================
Mark D. Witecki
Certified Public Accountant

Certified Financial Planner
Certified Fraud Examiner
Tax Preparation
3701 State Street, Schenectady, NY 12304
(518) 346-4000 f: (518) 346-5196
Certified Financial Planner Board of Standards, Inc. owns the Certified Marks CFP (c). Certified Financial Planner and federally registered CFP
(with flame design) in the U.S. which it awards to individuals who successfully complete CFPs initial and ongoing certification requirements
24
Affiliate Events
Chorus Rehearsal
The Albany Gay Mens Chorus rehearses on Tuesday evenings
from 6:45 to 9:00pm at the First Lutheran Church.
For more information: www.albanygmc.org, E-mail: albanygmc@yahoo.com, Voice-mail: (518) 459-7563 or join us on
Facebook at: Albany Gay Mens Chorus - AGMC.
Movie Night-Second Tuesday of each month

We will begin at 5PM at Harveys Pub, 14 Phila Street Saratoga
Springs,. From there, we can decide who wants to see what movies and leave accordingly for Bowtie Cinemas.
Lesbian Networking Breakfast
We meet on the third Thursday of each month, at the Country
Corner Caf on Church Street in the upstairs dining room at 7:30
am. Latecomers are welcome.
Monthly GLBTQ Support Group
Second Sunday of the Month
Fallstaff Building, Skidmore College
3-4:30pm.
Contact Caroline with questions: 518.857.9361
QueerEngineer
Get to know us & how you can support
LGBTQ* students in science, technology,
engineering, & mathematics.
/QueerEngineer
agmc
is an affiliate of
AGMC
AGMC
is looking for new members
Albany Gay Mens Chorus
@QueerEngineer
Rehearsals are Tuesdays

6:45 - 9:00 pm at the
First Lutheran Church of Albany.
A Pride Center of the Capital Region affiliate
For more Information

Website: www.albanygmc.org
E-mail: albanygmc@yahoo.com
Voice-mail: 518-459-7563
Join us on facebook... Albany Gay Mens Chorus - agmc
25
ASK THE LAWYER

by
Geri Pomerantz
including cost, it is absolutely imperative

that people consult with an attorney
before doing assisted reproduction with
a known donor or third party, even if you
are married.
PROTECTING PARENT
CHILD RELATIONSHIPS
The lawful spouse of a birth parent

is presumed to be the second parent
of a child born during the marriage.
However, that presumption can be
challenged. Please do not rely on the
presumption of legitimacy of a child born
to a marriage to establish parental rights.
First , unless and until our marriages are
recognized in every state, which may be
very soon, the parentage that flows from
the marriage will also not be recognized
in non-recognition states. Moreover,
a recent Monroe County case did not
apply the presumption of legitimacy to
a child born during a lesbian marriage.
This case is dangerous because the judge
emphasized the biological differences
between husbands and wives in terms of
the presumption of legitimacy, and ruled
that the lesbian spouse had no parental
rights.
I have heard from too many parents,

usually lesbians, about the devastating
consequences of having insufficient legal
protection of their relationships with her
children. Lately, this mostly occurs upon
the dissolution of the adult relationship
with the childs legal parent. But there
are other situations too. While we have
made incredible progress with marriage
equality, that struggle has not necessarily
helped many of these parents.
In New York, except for limited
circumstances, only a legal parent has the
right to make decisions about her childs
wellbeing, or to obtain a court order of
custody or visitation of her child. Without
parental rights, if you die without a will
providing for her, your child will not be
able to claim her statutory right to inherit
as your child. She wont be able to get
your social security dependent benefits in
the event of death or disability. You may
not be able to make important decisions
about the child, such as medical care, or
enrolling her in school.
There are limited ways in which one
becomes a legal parent in New York. A
legal parent is the childs biological or
birth parent. You become a legal parent
by adopting a child. New York law has
long allowed for second parent adoptions
by the intimate partner or spouse of a
biological or adoptive parent, and a same
sex couple can adopt a child together.
When a child is conceived using an
unknown sperm donor through a
clinic, the donor has waived his rights
as a potential parent. But when a known
donor is used, or a child is conceived
by way of a third party, there can be
multiple legal complications. The third
party could successfully assert parental
rights, equivalent to the birth mother,
and the birth mothers partner or spouse
may not have any parental rights. While
there are several reasons women or
couples may prefer to use a known donor,
I cannot say this often enough: if it is your

intention to be a parent to a child who
is not biologically related to you, I urge
you to adopt. If your partner or spouse
is the legal parent of the child (by birth
or adoption), she will need to consent to
your second parent adoption.
What if the adoption never happens? Its

expensive, and intrusive, and wed like
to think it unnecessary. Or, it was one
of those things that you just never got
to. My heart is warmed by biological or
adoptive mothers , who, after breaking
up with their long term partner and co
parent, cooperate to obtain an adoption
in order to protect her relationship with
their child. They do this because they
want to act in their childs best interests
and because it is the right thing to do. It
is those days that I am a proud lesbian
lawyer. The collaborative law process,
which focuses on the needs of the family
and uses a holistic approach to conflict
resolution, is ideal for these co-parents to
work out any issues with parenting plans
and support.
There are different considerations about

adoption depending on how your family
was formed. For example, the situation
where a woman has a child and then enters
into a new relationship is quite different
from the situation where a couple decides
together to have and raise a child. In the
first situation, regardless of how fabulous
your partner/spouses relationship is
with your child, when and whether to
allow your partner/ spouse to adopt,
and whether as a partner you want to
adopt the child, are huge decisions with
significant and far reaching implications.
In this situation, it is critically important
that each parent obtain independent
and confidential legal advice as to your
respective rights and obligations, before
entering into a second or step parent
adoption.
And then there are those days when I

am no so proud. Perhaps the adoption
didnt happen because the legal parent
wouldnt consent to it. Maybe there are
issues of domestic abuse, and this is one
way to exercise power and control in the
relationship, regardless of the devastating
consequences for your child. When this
couple breaks up, the child still believes
that both women are her parents. But
if there is no marital presumption to
apply, absent certain limited exceptional
circumstances, the legal mother has a
superior right under the law to raise the
child as she deems appropriate, without
regard for the actual best interests of
the child. If you are not a legal parent,
and your ex doesnt want you to have a
relationship with your child, you may
Do we as a community
want
to embrace the concept that

biology controls who is a
parent?
LAW OFFICE OF GERI POMERANTZ, ESQ.

Proudly serving the LGBT community and our friends
26
In the second situation, a couple decides

to have and raise a child together, with
the intention of creating a family, utilizing
ART or perhaps a foreign adoption by
one parent only because of homophobic
adoption laws in the childs country.
Here, to protect the parent childrelationship, second parent adoption
for the non biological or non adoptive
mother is critical. It is even possible get
a pre-certification before the child is
born, expressing your intentions to co
parent. (If you are married at the time
of ART with an unknown donor using
a clinic, I still wouldnt bet my parental
rights on the application of the marital
presumption.) Adoption of the child
should be important to both parents,
such that both parents can be recognized
as full legal parents to their child.
Practice focused on family and matrimonial law
694 Columbia Turnpike

East Greenbush, NY
12061
Tel: 518-479-3713
http://pomerantzlaw.org/
I often think about the role of community

in the situation where a mom with
parental rights exerts a superior right
to parent over a mom without legal
rights, who is nonetheless clearly a
parent in every sense of the word. Do
we as a community want to embrace the
concept that biology controls who is a
parent? What do we do about domestic
abuse in our community, and how
do we react to abusers who use their
children to control their partners? Do we
want to protect childrens relationships
with adults they believe are their parents,
when those relationships conflict with
the wishes of a legal parent?
Finally, the Child Parent Security Act
(A4319-2015; S2765-2015) has again
been referred to committee (Assembly
Judiciary Committee and Senate
Children and Families committee).
There do not appear to be any capital
district sponsors of this bill. The CPSA
will establish a legal procedure for
a partner of a biological or adoptive
parent to be declared a parent through
an order of parentage, making adoption
unnecessary. The CPSA would also lift
the ban in NY on gestational surrogacy
contracts. If passed, the CPSA would
be an important step in recognizing the
ways in which families are formed and
protect many parent child relationships.
Are you searching for

a Financial Advisor?
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Are you unhappy with your current advisor?
Are your accounts receiving the service they deserve?
Are you struggling to manage your portfolio on your own?
Has your portfolio lived up to your expectations?
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investment advice, a broad range of investment choices, and
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dedicated personal service.
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come and see what makes us different. We offer comprehensive
investment advice, a broad range of investment choices, and
Meleco, DiNallo, Kelleher Wealth Management Group of Wells Fargo Advisors
dedicated personal service.
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Vice President - Investment Officer
30 S Pearl St P-2
Albany, NY 12207
Direct:DiNallo,
(518) 455-7461
Meleco,
Kelleher Wealth Management Group of Wells Fargo Advisors
cw.kelleher@wellsfargoadvisors.com
www.melecodinallokelleher.wfadv.com
CW
Kelleher
Vice President - Investment Officer
30 S Pearl St P-2
Albany,
NYand
12207
Investment
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Direct:
(518)
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Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC, Member SIPC, is a registered broker-dealer and a separate non-bank affiliate of
cw.kelleher@wellsfargoadvisors.com
Wells
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www.melecodinallokelleher.wfadv.com
2013 Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC. All rights reserved.
74034-v5 A1585
not have a right to even see your child or

participate in her life. I urge any parent
who finds herself in this heartbreaking
situation to consult with counsel as soon
as possible.
0214-03393
Investment and Insurance Products: u NOT FDIC Insured u NO Bank Guarantee u MAY Lose Value
The legal rights of LGBTQ
families are an ever-changing

landscape, to be addressed
monthly in this column.
The material in this article is
provided for informational
purposes only and is not
intended to give legal advice,
and should not substitute
for
the independent advice of
counsel. The views expressed
in this column are solely those of Ms. Pomerantz
and do not reflect the opinion of the Pride Center.
Geri Pomerantz is an attorney in the capital district
with a practice focused on family and matrimonial
law, specifically including LGBTQ issues. Geri
conducts continuing legal education training for
other lawyers on issues of importance to the LGBTQ
community. Amongst other things, Geri is a
member of the Collaborative Divorce Association of
the Capital District.
Geri can be reached at
pomerantzlaw@albany.twcbc.com
Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC, Member SIPC, is a registered broker-dealer and a separate non-bank affiliate of
Wells Fargo & Company.
2013 Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC. All rights reserved.
74034-v5 A1585
do not rely on the presumption

of legitimacy of a child born to
a marriage to establish parental
rights
0214-03393
27
28
MICHAEL COOKS AND YOU CAN TOO by MICHAEL MEADE
Happy Saint Patrick's Day!

Beannachta na File Pdraig! Saint
Patricks Day is fast approaching and
even if youre not Irish, youre still
welcome to join the festivities. If it
involves a party, and especially if it involves good food, Im a Cajun on Mardi Gras, Irish on Saint Patricks Day
and German for Oktoberfest.
Irish food (like British food) has gotten
a very bad reputation over the years,
and rightly so. Most of it is bland, dull,
overcooked and just plain awful. But
in recent years, Irish cooking has undergone a remarkable Renaissance. In
homes and restaurants across Ireland,
local foodstuffs and time-honored
recipes are being transformed with improved cooking methods and a wider
variety of ingredients and seasonings.
So forget the corned beef and cabbage.
Instead, for Saint Patricks Day this
year, were going to try some more sophisticated and delicious Irish fare. We
have a recipe for beef stewed in Guinness (please dont try substituting any
other beer, it wont be the same), Irish
potato pancakes known as Boxty (the
word is from the Irish Bacstai and refers to the traditional method of grilling over an open fire) and, to provide
a grand finish, Irish Coffee. A Happy
Saint Patricks Day to one and all!
Mash the cooked potatoes while still

hot and add the grated raw potatoes.
Add the flour, soda and salt. Mix well
and add enough buttermilk to make
a stiff batter. Heat a heavy frying pan
and grease with butter. Drop batter by
spoonfuls onto heated pan and cook
until crispy and golden brown on both
sides. Serves four to six.
Beef Stew with Guinness

1 & 1/2 pounds chuck or round steak, cut
into chunks
1/2 pound carrots, peeled and cut into bitesized pieces
2 medium onions, peeled and chopped
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour, seasoned
with salt and pepper
2-3 tablespoons cooking oil
1/2 tsp fresh basil, minced
2/3 cup Guinness
1 teaspoon honey
1 cup beef stock
Fresh parsley, chopped
Irish Coffee
In a large heavy pot or Dutch oven,

heat the oil and cook the onions until they are soft. Transfer with a slotted
spoon to a large, shallow, oven-proof
dish. Toss the beef in the seasoned
flour and brown quickly in the hot
fat. Remove the beef and place on
top of the onions. Arrange the carrots around the beef. If necessary, add
a little more fat to the pan and stir in
the left-over seasoned flour. Cook for
a minute or two, stirring constantly.
Add the basil and the Guinness. Allow to cook for another minute or
two and then add the honey and the
stock. Again, bring to a boil and then
pour over the beef, carrots and onions.
Cover with a lid or foil and cook in a
325 degree oven for about 1 1/2 hours.
Sprinkle with chopped parsley before
serving. Serves four.
1 cup freshly-brewed hot coffee

1 tablespoon brown sugar
1 jigger Irish whiskey (1 and 1/2 ounces)
Heavy Cream, slightly whipped
Fill a heavy footed glass or a mug with

hot water to preheat it, then empty.
Pour piping hot coffee into warmed
glass until it is about 3/4 full. Add the
brown sugar and stir until completely
dissolved. Blend in Irish whiskey. Top
with a collar of the whipped heavy
cream by pouring gently over back of
spoon. Serve hot.
Michael Meade graduated from the Culinary

Institute of America in
Hyde Park, New York,
worked at Jacks Oyster
House in Albany and
is currently sous-chef
at Thunder Mountain
Curry in Troy.
gs pot.com
r
wrpi.org
PM
22
s
year s
8 ounces freshly-cooked potatoes
8 ounces peeled raw potatoes, grated
2 cups white flour
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1 to 1 & 1/2 cups buttermilk
Salt
Butter (for frying)
Boxty
the
Questions and comments are welcome

at Michaelmeade1215@yahoo.com.
Proudly continuing to serve as the voice

of the LGBT community after 22 years
Live every Sunday 10AM 2 PM
Check us OUT: WRPI 91.5 FM or wrpi.org
518.276.6248 homoradio.blogspot.com
voic
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ng
as
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as
the voice
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as
the
voice
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community
after
22
years
29
of the LGBT community after 22 years
of
the
LGBT
of
the
community
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of
the
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after
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22
community
years
after
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after
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years
unday
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ive
every
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10AM
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2
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every
Sunday
10AM
as
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Sunday
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2
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every
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as
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WRPI
FM
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OUT:
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10AM
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us OUT:
WRPI
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of
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EVENTS THINGS TO DO CONTESTS
Guide to the Capital Region

DINING NIGHTLIFE DIRECTORY & MORE!
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Law Office of Geri Pomerantz....26
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out
in
the
garden
How Sweet It Is
by
I dont try to put myself out of business, but sometimes I encounter a

book so good I want to give it to my
customers and say, Here, read this and
then you can fix your problems yourself! Of course, no book is quite that
good; there is always a need for the interpreter and implementer. But Rebecca Sweets Refresh Your Garden Design
with Color, Texture, and Form (2013)
comes close to making the ordinary
designer unnecessary.
I have been a Rebecca Sweet fan since
I first encountered her column, Harmony in the Garden, in Horticulture,
a magazine I read religiously. My appreciation of her work went up a notch
when I discovered Garden Up (2010),
a book she wrote with Susan Morrison.
Gardeners work in four dimensions,
but it is often the third dimension, the
vertical, that gives us the most difficulty. I had a customer whose garden
needed vertical elements to make it
more dynamic and dramatic. Sweet
expanded my repertory for solving
my immediate problem, but she also
opened my eyes to the possibilities of
the living wall and growing vegetables
vertically.
In Refresh Your Garden Design, Sweet
works with already existing gardens,
the situation that most of us face. She
provides tools for identifying design
problems and she offers do-able solutions to these problems, solutions
that the home gardener or small-scale
designer can implement. Sweet provides ample before and after photos
with sidebar texts that clearly indicate
what changes have been made and to
what effect. She emphasizes and explains basic design concepts such as
flow, connection, repetition, balance
throughout the book and shows us
how to realize these concepts in our
gardens. She provides easy to grasp
and useful tips in every chapter and
Judith Fetterley
lots of them. For example, in the chapter on color she tells us how to use the
color wheel to determine the mood
and temperature of our garden hot
and happy, cool and serene; how to use
color to make a garden seem larger or
more intimate; how to use color to create balance when a walkway garden is
larger on one side of the path than the
other; how to use color to direct the eye
away from an eyesore.
Author Rebecca Sweet
Sweet addresses what is perhaps the

primary problem for the ordinary gardener how to see our gardens with
fresh eyes. If we cannot identify a
problem, we cannot solve it. Often we
sense that something is not quite right
with our garden, but we have become
so familiar with our gardens look that
we cannot actually see the forest or the
trees. Sweet suggests that we take photographs, lots and lots and lots of them.
When we look at our garden in a photograph it is as if we were seeing it for
the first time and we can suddenly realize, Oh, wow, theres a big hole in the
middle where the Baptisia used to be!
Or, Yikes, that pink and orange combo
I fell for at Hewitts really doesnt work.
Or, Holy, moly, that shrub I planted
in front of the air conditioner actually
draws attention to it! Sweet also suggests that we switch our photos to black
and white mode for a different kind of
seeing afresh. When we strip away the
distracting element of color, the bones
of the garden emerge more clearly and
we can clearly see if our garden lacks

contrast, is filled with shapeless forms
repeated way too often, lacks winter interest, is filled with disappearing plants
or unconnected dots.
Following Rebecca Sweets advice, I
turned my eye onto black and white
mode and before the snow came and
buried the garden I made some major
redesign changes in my head to the
long perennial border. I could suddenly see lack of contrast and shapeless
forms and dots not connected and, seeing the problem, could then imagine
how to fix it. As I evaluate my gardens and those of my customers this
coming season, I will also be invoking
a concept Sweet has given me a name
for layering. Layering refers to
how plants relate in space in terms of
color, texture, form and shape. It involves, for example, the repetition of
a particular color at different heights
and depths or the way a branch of dark
purple Physocarpus (Ninebark) cuts
into the space occupied by a golden
Chamacypaeris. According to Sweet,
Its the artful combination of these different elements that help to transform
an ordinary garden into one that is
memorable, meaningful and magical.
We all need help. It is sweet to give and
receive help. I am grateful to Rebecca
Sweet for the help she has given me.
And I am grateful to be able to help
others in the work Sweet and I both
love best -- identifying and solving garden design problems.
Judith Fetterley lives and
gardens in Glenmont, New
York. She also runs
Perennial Wisdom, a garden
design business for new and
existing gardens.
Reach Judith at
f etterleyj@gmail.com
31
HERES GUFFMAN by PATRICK WHITE
WAITING IN ALBANY
For me the waiting is over because Ive

been waiting to work with Linda Shirey
since I auditioned for her production of
(my then boyfriend) Joe Nortons Coffee Box over two decades ago when we
were both nascent theatre artists running around with mutual friends. Four
people auditioned for three roles and I
didnt get it but I still remember her rejection. She told me I was too good to
work with the others and I would have
thrown off the balance of the play. 25
years later, shes directing me in Confetti Stages production of Waiting For
Godot at the Albany Masonic Hall,
2/27-3/8. I sat down with her before a
rehearsal and caught up with her.
We knew a lot of the same people. I

saw your production of My Sister in
this House with Dee Hanbury and Johanna Day. What else were you doing
in the city? I was very involved in an
after school program for inner city kids
called Brooklyn Kids Onstage. I was involved in the music theatre program. I
did that for a couple of years while we
had funding but eventually the city just
destroyed it which was too bad because
these kids had nowhere to go and they
just loved it and they were super, super
talented-kids who could sing and dance
and act. My favorite was we did a production of Oklahoma! and we had 10
kids, all between the ages of 10 and 14
and these little black kids playing cowboys and country girls. They were probably the best cast I ever worked with in
my life. I did that for 4 years until they
lost their funding.

What drove you upstate? The last year
that I stayed in New York (pause) was
the worst year in my life. We had just
done a show. There was a little theatre
on 18th street and the people we rented
from loved us. We had all these wonderful people working with us and they
had offered us to stay as their resident
company but during that year the person I had staying in my apartment, I
had gone away to visit my family, got
followed home and kept her there for
two days and raped her. And I couldnt
go back to my apartment because every time Id go back-shes gone on with
her life, I dont know how you get thru
32
something like that. I couldnt stay in

my apartment and I didnt know what
to do.
Also it was a high point of a very big

group of friends, my male friends had
gone thru the AIDS epidemic and I had
lost a lot of my male friends that way.
Actually my friend who lived upstairs, I
experienced a really horrific event with
him and he passed away. Ummm and
I think that was the year where I said I
just dont want to be here. I was drinking heavily and doing drugs and doing
all this stuff I knew was self-destructive.
I knew I just couldnt stay in New York
right now cuz I knew where this is going. Even though theatre was this big
draw, this outlet, theres the community
draw, thats what I really wanted to do.
I just thought: I cant stay here. I know
where Im going. Im going to be dead
in five years if I dont get out of New
York.
Why Godot? Its always been on my
back burner and Ive never felt mature

enough to take it on and and Im not
sure Im mature enough now but I think
it takes a great deal of skill to make it
work as a director, it takes a great deal
of maturity to understand the simplicity without getting bogged down in the
intellectual qualities.
I look at it like its still so timely. I think
it will always be timely. Youre talking
about the basic elements of life. Living
each day, trying to get through each day
when the burdens are difficult. They are
no more difficult or maybe they are
more difficult than in the 50s but were
still trying to figure out who we are and
how we fit into the universe and whats
out there and whats out beyond the
walls were safely comforted in. Whats
beyond life? I still feel mesmerized by
it. I still feel its timely for an audience
whos patient enough to sit through it
and listen to the poetry of it, listen to
the simplicity of it, listen to the life story being told here, the companionship,
the humorIm very passionate about
it.
What do you say to people who say
Beckett is bleak, dreary. Nothing happens. Nobody comes, nobody goes. Its
awful. Theres always a banana peel in

this play. Theres nothing funnier than
peoples unhappiness. Their fascination
with meaningless detail. Their fascination with the tree that bears no leaves.
They show hop. They show happiness.
They show interest. They show fear.
They show everything about human
life.
People who say they dont like Beckett,
I challenge an audience to come and Ill
say to them What did you really hate
about this? Come see it and open your
minds. How often do you open an Albany paper and see a Beckett play?
Do you think Godot has anything

to say to the LGBTQ community, in
particular? Its funny you asked me
that question because he couldve written about a man and a woman and he
didnt. He wrote a story about two men.
He wrote about two men in a bondage state. He wrote about a young boy.
A lot of women asked me if I was going to cast women in this play and I
said no, its not a female play. This is a
story about men. This is a story about
men and mens perspective on life
and the world and its sexual. I think
theres a lot of sexuality between Vladimir and Estragon. I think maybe you
know, theres nothing else out there and
theyre dependent on each other but
they dont resist each other. They bond,
they hide, they show compassion and
love for one another, they bicker with
each other as if they had been married
fifty years so is there an underlying homosexual theme in this play? Yeah. Is
there a sexual theme in this play? Yeah,
of course there is. They show love for
each other. They show hatred for each
other. They show anger for each other.
They complete each others sentences
theyre a couple.
$64,000 question. who is Godot? Im

not so sure I think Godot is a person.
I dont know. Ill go through the rest of
my life like everybody trying to figure it
out. I really dont think it was answered
for a reason. I do follow his train of
thoughtif he knew he would have
answered it. If Godot was meant to be
there, he would have been in the
This is a story about men and

mens perspective on life and
the world and its sexual.
Members
cast list. We dont know who God is up
there anymore than we know who Godot is down here. If I were to answer it,
part of me would say Godot is death.
Were waiting to die. We go from this
moment to the next moment to the
next moment waiting for the moment
when the moments stop. Thats what
I think Godot is, waiting for our final
moments.
Play that changed your life:
Samuel
Becketts Endgame. Theres a ticking
in my head. Hamm. That is my favorite
play of all plays. In my silence I hear
that dripping and it reminded me that
in our life, it is fading away every day
and those moments of hearing that silence, and I guess I hear the silences
in Godot and I hear the silences in
Endgame and theyre just always riveting to me because when you hear the
silences, you hear the ticking and I love
Hamm for that.
That was the play that made me understand that theatre can be nothing more
than an actor onstage. Im not fond of
props. Im not fond of fancy costumes.
Im not fond of set changes. All you
need to do a play is to listen to the
voice of an actor and what he or she is
doing in that particular moment is the
most fascinating part of seeing a show.
Handling a prop or moving a chair, it
all becomes cumbersome and it takes
away from what I like best about theatre which is the storytelling of the actor, so all that stuff Im not interested
in. Im really interested in what you as
an actor do with a moment youve been
given onstage and hearing that tickingtick, tick, tick-that makes me excited.
Patrick White is an actor, director and teacher

who will be performing in Waiting For Godot
2/27-3/8. He teaches an Adult Acting class open
to all levels and is an adjunct instructor of acting at the University at Albany.
white.patrick1963@gmail.com
Alliance for Positive Health

Albany.com
Albany Renaissance BBL Hospitality
Aras Performance Group, Inc
Bank of America/ Merrill Lynch
Buenau's Opticians
Capital District YMCA
Canterbury Animal Hospital
Central Avenue BID
Charles F. Lucas Confectionery / The Grocery
Classy Body Art
Corey Jamison Consulting, LLC.
Connections Psychotherapy
Consumer Optical
Deb Best Practices
Deja Vu
Experience and Creative Design, Ltd.
Geri Pomerantz, Esq
Homo Radio / WRPI
Interim Healthcare
Janet Stein / Arbonne International
Jay Zhang Photography
Joseph Roche, Accountant
Journey United Church of Christ
Key Bank
L&P Media
Mazzone Hospitality / Aperitivo Bistro
Mexican Radio Schenectady
Montgomery County Office for Aging
Northeast Acura
Rain Modern Chinese
Ronnie Mangione / Wealth Advisory Group
RBC Wealth Management
Scofield Access Solutions LLC
Security Plumbing & Heating Supply
Skylands Services, INC
Spectrum 8 Theatre
Sunrise Management and Consulting
Tri City Rentals
Wells Fargo
Mark D. Witecki, CPA
Wolffs Biergarten, Schenectady
2015
LGBTQA
Professionals
Networking
Event
TUESDAY
MARCH 3rd
6-8PM
PECKS
ARCADE
217 Broadway
Troy
$10 Suggested
Donation
1883
PECK'S
ARCADE
- JOIN THE BUSINESS ALLIANCE TODAY! -
www.capitalpridecenter.org/resources/business-alliance
33
34
Special Events
Tuesday 3/3
Saturday 3/7
Leadership Development Council Meet and Greet The Gay Soiree!
The Leadership Development Council is a diverse group
of LGBTQ professionals and allies dedicated to the preservation and future growth of the Pride Center of the
Capital Region. The Councils mission is to develop and
empower young LGBTQ and allied professionals and
develop a new generation of leaders within our community.
This event is for anyone who is looking to:
Obtain more information about the council
Join the council or
Network with other professionals seeking professional
development opportunities
Tuesday, March 3
Pecks Arcade
217 Broadway, Troy
5-6 pm
FREE!
The Pride Center and Honorary Co-Chairs John Daniels (The

Wizard) & Kate Otis (Dorothy) cordially invite you to join us and
dress like youre in the Merry Old Land of Oz!
Lions and Tigers and Bears! Oh My!
THE funky formal (Tin Man), gender bender (Scarecrow), high
fashion (Cowardly Lion)
The Gay Soiree attracts a wide variety of people for a night filled
with dancing and fun. Held at the new and improved State Room
in downtown Albany!
Please note, this event is for AGES 18+ ONLY
Eat! Drink! Dance! And be Merry!
Gay Soiree!
Hors Doeuvres & Lite Fare
Cash Bar
Complimentary Virgin Drink Bar
Dance Music by
Oz, The Great & Powerful
Tuesday 3/3
LGBTQA Professionals Networking Event
Presented by
Dont miss the biggest monthly LGBTQA event in the

Capital Region. This month the Business Alliance
brings its Professionals Networking Event to Pecks
Arcade in Troy for another great evening of food, drink
and connecting with other lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer and allied professionals.
Tuesday, March 3
Pecks Arcade
217 Broadway, Troy
6-8 pm
$10 Suggested Donation
1883
PECK'S
ARCADE
for your convenience, you can donate online in advance:
www.capitalpridecenter.org/events/marchnetworking
Friday 3/6
Opening Reception: Young Artist Showcase
Join us for a very special 1st Friday opening reception
in celebration of the talents of over a dozen young LGGBTQA visual artists and musicians!
Friday, February 6
Romaine Brooks Gallery
332 Hudson Ave, Albany
5-9 pm
Free!
Saturday, February 7
The State Room
100 State St., Albany
7-11pm
Soiree Ticket: $45 per person/$65 per couple,
Student & Discount Ticket: $25 in advance
Emerald Honorary Committee + ticket:
$145 per person/$215 per couple
tickets may also be purchased online at www.capitalpridecenter.
org or by calling the Pride Center at 518.462.6138.
LOOKING AHEAD :
April LGBTQA Professionals Networking Event
Thursday 4/16: Circus Cafe, 392 Broadway, Saratoga Springs,

NY 12866
GET EVENT
UPDATES:
35
Calendar
AUDITIONS / CALL FOR ENTRIES
Open Auditions for All Performers
Friday 3/20 & Tuesday 3/24: Be
a part of the show at this years Say It
Loud: Black & Latino Gay Pride! Open
auditions and coaching for all types of
acts, all are welcome! Coaching is available. Contact Gabby for more information, questions. 6pm
In Our Own Voices
245 Lark St., Albany
(518) 432-4188
FUN & GAMES / ETCETERA
Gay Skate
Tuesdays: An open skate for the LGBTQ Community! $9.50 w. Skate Rental
/ $6.50 w. your own skates. For more
info contact David at DB40@AOL.com
or (518) 573-3962 - 7-9:30pm
Rollarama Skating Center
2710 Hamburg St., Schenectady
Saturday 3/28 - Open Skate with the
Albany Bombers Hockey Team
5:30-6:30 pm
Knickerbacker Ice Arena
191 103rd St., Troy
KARAOKE
Mondays: Waterworks Pub - 10pm 2am, No Cover
76 Central Ave, Albany, (518) 465-9079
Thursdays: Oh Bar - 10pm - 1am,
21+, No Cover
304 Lark St., Albany, (518) 463-9004
Fridays: Waterworks Pub - 10pm
18+ (w. cover)
Rocks - 9pm-12am
Saturdays: Circus Cafe - 10pm - 2am,
21+
392 Broadway, Saratoga, (518) 583-1106
OPEN MIC / LITERARY
Wednesday, 3/11: Live from the
Livingroom open mic w. featured poet
Robert Eaton - 7pm
The Pride Center, Garden Level
332 Hudson Ave, Albany, (518) 462-6138
Thursday 3/05 & 3/19: Open Minded Mic & Talent Showcase (for all
performers)- 8-10pm
Rocks
77 Central Ave., Albany
(518) 472-3588
SOCIAL / SUPPORT GROUPS
Out of the Closet I Am (for women
who have sex with women): 1st & 3rd
Wednesdays- 6:30pm-8pm
Mens Empowerment Group: 1st &
3rd Thursdays -6-7:30pm
36
Voices of Unity (for Transgender

people of color): 2nd & 4th Wednesday
of each month from 6pm-7:30pm
Groups listed above meet at
In Our Own Voices
(518) 432-4188
YouthPride! A student led meeting that
centers around helping LGBTQ students
and allied students discuss matters in
our community, schools, and in their
Gay Straight Alliances (GSAs) that they
have in their schools. YouthPride provides leadership development and an opportunity to help plan activities around
GLSENs Days of Action and Days of
Support. 1st Friday of the month 6-9pm
Professor Javas Coffee Sanctuary
217 Wolf Rd., Colonie
Trans Partners Group: provides support for people to discuss and explore
their relationships with trans-identified
or gender non-conforming individuals.
Open to people currently in partnerships
with trans-people or people exploring
their gender identities. Monthly on
Tuesdays at 5pm. Contact Faith Hoffman at faith@choicesconsulting.com for
more information.
Choices Counseling and Consulting
523 Western Ave. Suite 2A
Albany, NY 12203-1617
(518)438-2222
SPECIAL EVENTS
Friday 3/06 - Sunday 3/08 - Bear Albany & Ego Parties: Best in Show!
After this Ruff winter season, Bear Albany is teaming up with EGO Parties to
thaw off our paws, shake off the cold of
winter, and party hard at our BEST IN
SHOW party (March 06-08). This special freak show of an evening will feature
big furry beefcakes, performances by
the EGO Parties, and dancing till everyone is barking like a dog. Attendees are
welcome to participate, but by no means
required to do anything other than gawk
at the crazy visual and audio circus! EGO
Parties, hosted by Isis Vermouth feature
some of the most unique shows in the
Albany and Hudson Valley regions. Acts
range from classic camp, to performance
art, hard core trash, and everything inbetween. Whatever form they take, the
demented divas of EGO are sure to leave
a fabulous permanent scar.
For full schedule & hotel information:
www.bearalbany.com
Friday, 3/06- Albany Empire Soccer
Club 5th Anniversary Celebration
This is an all-Inclusive event so bring
your friends and significant other -all
you spectators out there! Please come

out, eat some food, ride a bull, and hang
out with us for a couple of hours. Beer
and cocktails will be available at the cash
bar. We will most likely head over to
Waterworks Pub to celebrate some more!
Come out Come out!
8:30-10:30 2015 Member: $0, All Others: $10, City Beer Hall, 42 Howard St.,
Albany
Friday 03/13- Sexversations for
Women who love Women
Join us for a night of sexversations
around orgasms, consent, power play,
kink and overall sexual health. Bring
your appetite for self-love, mental stimulation and sharing in community.
Rocks
77 Central Ave, Albany
(518) 472-3588
Joy Families Weekend Conference
Friday 3/20-Sunday 3/22: At the
Holiday Inn Arena and University
Downtown Center in Binghamton,
NY. PLEASE NOTE REGISTRATION
DEADLINES:
Deadline to register children and youth:
Friday, February 27
Deadline to register adults: Friday,
March 6
SPORTS
Albany Bombers Hockey
Saturday, 3/07: vs. Lucky Bs - 7:00pm
191 103rd St., Troy
Saturday 3/28 : Blue vs White fundraiser game for GLSEN - 7:00pm
191 103rd St., Troy
Albany All-Stars Roller Derby
Sunday, 3/01 - Double header vs. MidHudson Misfits & The Quadfathers 1:00pm
Washington Avenue Armory
195 Washington Ave, Albany
Hellions of Troy Roller Derby
Saturday 3/07 vs. Royal City Roller Girls
- 7:00 pm
2710 Hamburg St., Rotterdam
TRIVIA
Live Trivia with Frieda
Tuesdays, 8-10pm
Rocks
77 Central Ave, Albany
(518) 472-3588
Wednesdays: Oh Bar - 9pm-12am
(518) 463-9004
To have your event listed email the details to info@capitalpridecenter.org by the 15th of the month
BEFORE the event. See more events at www.capitalpridecenter.org/upcoming-events
37
V I N TA GE PR ID E: W h o W e Are ! inte rvie we d b y Chuck Z imme r man

The Many Aspects of Joe:
Reminiscing Joe Norton
Carolyn
Beeker
interviewed
Joe at his
Loudonville
home.
He opened
the
garden
gate,
bare-butt
naked, and
asked her if
this venue
would
suffice
during the
question
and
answers.
My relocation to Albany from the Catskills

in 2004 opened the floodgates for my acquiring new and additional first and secondhand knowledge of this peculiar little
short and fragile looking elderly man as I
first perceived him [CommUNITY, December 2014]. During my initial interview
with Norton for the purpose of a potential
news article involving vintage-aged Capital District GLBT movers and shakers for
the cause , Joe provided me with a folder
which contained several personally written
memoirs that were all undated. Twentyfive Years of CDLGCC - A Personal View
summarizes in less than two pages his
thoughts regarding the founding and evolution of the Capital District Lesbian And
Gay Community Center. Since we are presently celebrating the 45th anniversary of the
our renamed Pride Center the article was
probably written in or about 1995.
Joe Norton, in the memoir, credits the center with providing him twenty-five years of
something to do! The Center, he also indicated, had been the catalyst for the spawning of many diverse groups, some no longer
functioning [the Hudson-Mohawk Business and Professional Association] and others continuing and developing in strength
38
[AIDS Task Force of the Capital District, to

become the AIDS Council of North Eastern
New York]. Only the basement of the building which now houses the Pride Center of
the Capital Region [322 Hudson Street] was
originally rented and was the Crisis Center
called Refer, according to Joes writings. A
group of nine individuals made the decision to purchase the entire structure, and
Norton emphatically stated to me.let
the record show that I did not provide the
funds to purchase the Community Center
building, but instead, my name was used for
the necessary legal purposes. Joe Nortons
prime satisfaction, according to the memoir
summary, follows ..And now the greatest
event: the hiring of an Executive Director.
At last the organization has full-time leadership.
Everyone who knew Joe Norton has a story.
Some are rift with humor. Carolyn Beeker
, studying for her Doctorate while heading
up the Mens Project for HIV studies involving area men, interviewed Joe at his Loudonville home. He opened the garden gate,
bare-butt naked, and asked her if this venue
would suffice during the question and answers.she declined and he covered. Joe
invited several friends and me for dinner
one evening at his Elk Street home. Follow-
ing dessert he informed us,

his guests, that the roast we
had consumed was retrieved
from four or five year old
foods secured from the bottom of his freezer following
an over-due cleaning. Mentioned that evening was Joes
chagrin on not receiving a
proper acknowledgement
from the mid-west S&M
museum that had recently
been the recipient of a majority of his personal sexually oriented equipment. He
often utilized and or demonstrated this paraphernalia at courses he conducted
during his retired years. Ask
Joe Nortons former Loudonville neighbors what they
thought of his notorious
parties; all responses many
not be total humor. And
not everyone enjoys having their nipples tweaked to
pain-level.
I attended Joe Nortons memorial service at the First Unitarian Universalist Society of Albany. Joe was an active
participant there and often acted as a greeter to members and guests for Sunday services. The memorial service was not a somber affair! I spoke about Joes involvement
with S.T.A.R.S [mens fraternal group] and
of my being the last member to be accepted
into S.T.A.R.S a mere month or two before
its demise. A woman praised Norton for
his benevolence in assisting her through
her college years. Others spoke of their first
hand experiences and recollections, ranging from a multitude of Pride Center activities over years, kink experiences, his ministry of prison inmates, student experiences
at SUNY Albany where Joe was professor
of psychology, and his being instrumental
in having the definition of homosexuality
redefined, excluding it as mental illness.
How man aspects of Joes multifaceted life
have become and will become recorded history? Reminiscing Joe Norton may answer
that question.
Mentioned that evening was

Joes chagrin on not receiving
a proper acknowledgement
from the mid-west S&M museum
[to be continued]
A free program addressing legal issues in the

lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender communities
FrEE ANd opEN to All

SAturdAy, MArCH 21
10:00 a.m. 3:00 p.m.
Offering legal assistance
on issues such as:
Name changes
Advance registration
is appreciated.
For more information,
or to volunteer to participate,
contact 518-445-2304 or
pbarn@albanylaw.edu or
psautterwalker@albanylaw.edu
SPONSORED BY:
GE POWER & WATER
LEXIS NEXIS
Adoptions
Child custody
Immigration
Employment discrimination
Civil rights
COMMUNITY PARTNERS:
Empire State Pride Agenda
Herzog Law Firm
Human Rights Campaign
In Our Own Voices
Latimer Law Firm, pllc
NYCLU
Pride Center of the Capital Region
Project Hope
Sullivan Keenan Oliver & Violando, llp
Trevor Project
80 new scotland avenue, albany, new york 12208

tel:
518-445-2326
www.albanylaw.edu
39
NON-PROFIT
US POSTAGE
P
AID
PERMIT #798
ALBANY, NY
332 Hudson Avenue

Albany, NY 12210
Distinguished Living...Successful Living...Gay Living

Tri City Rentals is a Proud Supporter of the LGBT Community
Visit one of our

24 Fine Capital District
Apartment Communities
www.TriCityRentals.com
518.862.6600

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l hcare

MARCH 12-13, 2015

IDENTIFYING & ADDRESSING HEALTH DISPARITIES

Reunion Latina provides an opportunity to bring experiences

Pictures from the 45th Anniversary

MENTAL HEALTH: HOW TO

Meet 6 of the New Leaders in

The Pride Center seats a new board

and welcomes 6 new leaders to

On the Cover (l to r):

Judith Fetterley pg. 31

Vintage Pride: Who We Are

NEWS,UPDATES & INFORMATION

45th Anniversary Kickoff Reception

On February 5th, at the gorgeous Linda Norris Auditorium

45th Anniversary Kickoff Reception

and transform our community. And without the courage

In preparation for a recent

We are at an amazing point in

and vocally as possible. This

Curran Streett, Executive Director

ing the current torch bearers

These Presbyterian Churches Welcome You

age ad for March 2015 CommUnity

We are all Gods children ~ Come as you are!

The Pride Center is no longer

If you or someone you know is in need of Case Management contact

Take care of yourself

(There are 50 ideas on how to on pg 15)

You can heal your queer soul

All LGBTQ folks seeking

assistance with goal setting and

Spring is coming and before you know it

(Get some help on making it the best season yet

STAY IN TOUCH! EMAIL USmweidrich@capitalpridecenter.org

(be sure to include your name and a phone #)

THE FASHIONABLE AND THE FRIVOLOUS by ALAN BENNET ILAGAN

Lifestyle Photography is... Your Everyday, Your Important Moments, Your

that you looked extra-slim in a

She sits in the back

Theres a fine line between signature style

In this final scene of The

But on those days when Im feeling

Alan Bennett Ilagan is a

Traditional & Holistic Psychotherapies

Sexual Orientation & Gender Identity

Get more out of both.

Body Image & Eating Disorders

The Living Balance Sheet can help you find

Homestudies & Adoption Services

how to protect and grow your business and

This revolutionary financial model lets you

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see the big picture of your finances both

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GAY MANS MUSINGS by NYVEK MOSHIER

Letters to a Fabulous 8 Year Old

kids who make you smile and forced to

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One day that

Brian Brosen & Reginald Monroe

Call today (518) 452-3655