When I was young, I prided myself as a nonconformist in the conservative U.S.

state I
live in, Kansas. I didn't follow along with the crowd. I wasn't afraid to try weird clothing
trends or hairstyles. I was outspoken and extremely social. Even these pictures and
postcards of my London semester abroad 16 years ago show that I obviously didn't
care if I was perceived as weird or different. (Laughter)
But that same year I was in London, 16 years ago, I realized something about myself
that actually was somewhat unique, and that changed everything. I became the
opposite of who I thought I once was. I stayed in my room instead of socializing. I
stopped engaging in clubs and leadership activities. I didn't want to stand out in the
crowd anymore. I told myself it was because I was growing up and maturing, not that I
was suddenly looking for acceptance. I had always assumed I was immune to needing
acceptance.After all, I was a bit unconventional. But I realize now that the moment I
realized something was different about me was the exact same moment that I began
conforming and hiding.
Hiding is a progressive habit, and once you start hiding, it becomes harder and harder
to step forward and speak out. In fact, even now, when I was talking to people about
what this talk was about, I made up a cover story and I even hid the truth about my
TED Talk. So it is fitting and scary that I have returned to this city 16 years later and I
have chosen this stage to finally stop hiding. What have I been hiding for 16 years? I
am a lesbian.
(Applause)
Thank you.
I've struggled to say those words, because I didn't want to be defined by them. Every
time I would think about coming out in the past, I would think to myself, but I just want
to be known as Morgana, uniquely Morgana, but not "my lesbian friend Morgana," or
"my gay coworker Morgana." Just Morgana.
For those of you from large metropolitan areas, this may not seem like a big deal to
you. It may seem strange that I have suppressed the truth and hidden this for so
long. But I was paralyzed by my fear of not being accepted. And I'm not alone, of
course. A 2013 Deloitte study found that a surprisingly large number of people hide
aspects of their identity. Of all the employees they surveyed, 61 percent reported
changing an aspect of their behavior or their appearance in order to fit in at work. Of all
the gay, lesbian and bisexual employees, 83 percent admitted to changing some
aspects of themselves so they would not appear at work "too gay." The study found
that even in companies with diversity policies and inclusion programs, employees
struggle to be themselves at work because they believe conformity is critical to their
long-term career advancement. And while I was surprised that so many people just like
mewaste so much energy trying to hide themselves, I was scared when I discovered
that my silence has life-or-death consequences and long-term social repercussions.
Twelve years: the length by which life expectancy is shortened for gay, lesbian and
bisexual people in highly anti-gay communities compared to accepting

communities. Twelve years reduced life expectancy.When I read that in The Advocate
magazine this year, I realized I could no longer afford to keep silent.The effects of
personal stress and social stigmas are a deadly combination. The study found that
gays in anti-gay communities had higher rates of heart disease, violence and
suicide. What I once thought was simply a personal matter I realized had a ripple
effect that went into the workplace and out into the community for every story just like
mine. My choice to hide and not share who I really am may have inadvertently
contributed to this exact same environment and atmosphere of discrimination.
I'd always told myself there's no reason to share that I was gay, but the idea that my
silence has social consequences was really driven home this year when I missed an
opportunity to change the atmosphere of discrimination in my own home state of
Kansas.
In February, the Kansas House of Representatives brought up a bill for vote that would
have essentially allowed businesses to use religious freedom as a reason to deny gays
services. A former coworker and friend of mine has a father who serves in the Kansas
House of Representatives. He voted in favor of the bill, in favor of a law that would
allow businesses to not serve me.
How does my friend feel about lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer and
questioning people? How does her father feel? I don't know, because I was never
honest with them about who I am. And that shakes me to the core. What if I had told
her my story years ago? Could she have told her father my experience? Could I have
ultimately helped change his vote? I will never know, and that made me realize I had
done nothing to try to make a difference.
How ironic that I work in human resources, a profession that works to
welcome, connect and encourage the development of employees, a profession that
advocates that the diversity of society should be reflected in the workplace, and yet I
have done nothing to advocate for diversity. When I came to this company one year
ago, I thought to myself, this company has anti-discrimination policies that protect gay,
lesbian, bisexual and transgender people. Their commitment to diversity is evident
through their global inclusion programs. When I walk through the doors of this
company, I will finally come out. But I didn't. Instead of taking advantage of the
opportunity, I did nothing.
(Applause)
When I was looking through my London journal and scrapbook from my London
semester abroad 16 years ago, I came across this modified quote from Toni Morrison's
book, "Paradise." "There are more scary things inside than outside." And then I wrote a
note to myself at the bottom: "Remember this." I'm sure I was trying to encourage
myself to get out and explore London, but the message I missed was the need to start
exploring and embracing myself. What I didn't realize until all these years later is that
the biggest obstacles I will ever have to overcome are my own fears and insecurities. I
believe that by facing my fears inside, I will be able to change reality outside. I made a
choice today to reveal a part of myself that I have hidden for too long. I hope that this
means I will never hide again, and I hope that by coming out today, I can do something

to change the data and also to help others who feel different be more themselves and
more fulfilled in both their professional and personal lives. Thank you. (Applause)