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Nikka Therese P.

Pallado BSCS IV MGT 101

Social Comparison: Struggling Stages Leading to


Success
All my life has been full of comparisons. Since birth, almost everything
about me is being compared to someone else by my family; my looks, my
course of action, my virtues, my education, my choices, my creations, my
skills, my grades. I despise the fact that I cannot depart from this concept
and the pressure it brings disturbs me even in my sleep. Adding to this
dilemma of mine is the reality that I already have the tendency to selfevaluate myself by comparing me to others, which started the very minute
after I graduated from high school. The frustration comes in due to the effect
on me of the yield of the evaluation. I hated it because its very difficult for
me to assess myself positively. But after some time, even though how much I
abhor the idea of social comparison, Ive learned to credit the thought of it.
How? Through overcoming its negative stages, learning from it and taking it
as an advantage to achieve success.
First stage: Sensing. When I entered UP, Id like to think of it like I was
put into a jungle. I can sense a lot of competition. Youd be asked from what
school you are from and sometimes, the honors youve received will be
asked as well. Hearing the answers of my schoolmates and comparing mine
to them made me reduce my self-confidence given the fact that I came from
an ordinary science high school and I wasnt able to bring home the bacon of
being a graduate with honors. I am confused by how I can survive from this
university. I even questioned myself, Do I have what it takes to be a Iskolar
ng Bayan?.
Second stage: Pressure. Sensing the competition between yourself and
other students within the university is a lot of pressure for me. I pressure
myself to be ahead of them all and I pressure myself every time I compare
my work or progress from them. Like for example, whenever there will be
projects, I heavily push myself to create something that will be unique and

more importantly, that will be more perfect than any projects. Pressuring
myself can be very exhausting and leads only stress on my part. Even
though that is the case, I still strive for perfection despite the reality that I
already am incapable.
Thrid stage: Fear of Failure. Everything should be perfect, this is
whats been ringing in my head over and over again. If I cant make it perfect
the way I want it, I tend to lose myself and if I think Ive accomplished
something that is perfect and Ive realized that every time I compare mine to
those of the others theirs are more adequate, it becomes worse. I always
conclude that I failed. I hate the feeling of being a failure just like how I feel if
I recite and my answer is wrong. At some point of being a perfectionist, I had
already grown to fear failure.
Fourth stage: Loosing Self Confidence. Recitation in class is very
essential. Even if the instructor is reminding us that there are no right or
wrong answers, I cant seem to share my point of view. I even try to prepare
my thoughts about the lecture to be discussed before class so that I can
contribute to the discussion, but my shyness overpowers my will to recite.
What if its wrong? What will people think of me? Are they going to judge
me? Oh no, heir answers are better than mine!
Fifth stage: Insecurity. Now it comes to focusing on a small of group of
people to compare yourself with. When we were having our OJT at a firm, the
project leader of their Software Development team was so pleased to have
trainees coming from UPV. During that time, her satisfaction with our projects
is the worth of all our effort. My classmates, which are also trainees there,
were already claiming a lot of gratification from her while I was having less.
She also shows favoritism of one of us or should I say, the prettiest among us
all. Almost all of the employees near our area admires her so much, even I
do. They prefer her more than us. During that time, I am starting to doubt my
abilities of being a programmer. I also came to a point where I am not
comfortable being with them because I feel that I cant fit in.
Sixth stage: Depression. After feeling that I cant be with people and
that I cant fit in, my feeling came to an eruption. I already am blaming

myself for being so pressured, so cowardly, so hesitant and finally, so


insecure.
I did not let myself be trapped in the depression stage. I hated feeling
so down. Ive been suggested to watch inspiring success stories thats here I
realized that we should come from being nothing for us to be able to
succeed. The last stage, the depression stage, is the first stage for me to
achieve my long term goals. That is because I grew to be strong and to be
positive.
Professor Lozada answered during the Bottomline with the Deans, You
should not compare ourselves with others because each and every one of us
is unique. Yes, were all are unique, but we have to compare ourselves,
because it drives us to achieve more and improve ourselves over time.