Genesis 50:15-21

How Do I Forgive?
Sermon preached March 15, 2015
Introduction to Genesis reading
Let me give you some background to our reading from Genesis. Joseph was the favorite
son of father Jacob. And this over-indulged child turned into a spoiled brat. His brothers
hated him, were going to kill him, but instead, sold him into slavery. He ended up in
Egypt. He was imprisoned for years and years, but eventually was freed and became the
Pharaohs Chief of Staff.
But his family doesnt know any of this, and his father even thinks Joseph is dead.
Theyre up in Israel when a famine hits. Josephs brothers come down to buy food, and
meet up with Joseph whom they dont recognize. Joseph plays with them for a while, but
then reveals himself and they all cry and embrace. And Jacob and Josephs brothers
move down to Egypt where Joseph takes care of them. And when our story opens, Jacob
has just died. Hear now Gods word:
Introduction
One of the most interesting aspects of growing up in the North and then living and
ministering in the South for 23 years was the very different perceptions of the Civil War.
Some years back, the Dallas Morning News had an article about a man named Henry
Ingram, Jr. Mr. Ingram is from Hardeeville, South Carolina.
One day he went down to the county courthouse and filed a deed. And this deed had a
restriction on it. The deed barred the sale of any part of his 1,688 acre plantation to
anyone north of the Mason-Dixon line, and anyone at all with the last name, Sherman.
It turns out that during the War of Northern Aggression Shermans troops had marched
through town and burned every building on Ingrams property. And Mr. Ingram has
vowed never to let his plantation fall into Yankee hands again!
Today Im preaching about forgiveness.
Three reasons: Forgiveness is at the heart of the gospel. Jesus said, as our
heavenly Father has forgiven us, so we are to forgive one another.
Second reason: the questions and statements written on the What Would You Ask
God board about people struggling to forgive.
Third reason: Probably 90% of us here this morning, or more, are struggling to
forgive someone who has hurt us, wronged us, betrayed us. God wants us to
1

forgive for our freedom, and to open up the possibility of reconciliation and new
life. So here we go.
Joseph and his brothers
Our scripture reading is the end of the story of Joseph. And the story of Joseph is one of
the longest narratives about a single person in the whole Bible. So the Lord intended us
to know a whole lot about Joseph.
And one reason is that here, in this story, we see an amazing example of faith-fueled
forgiveness. I told you some of the background about Joseph and his brothers. As our
reading begins, father Jacob has just died. Josephs brothers still feel guilty for what they
did to Joseph, and are still afraid of him. I mean, hes Pharaohs right-hand-man - he can
hang them upside down by his heels and feed them to the crocodiles, whatever he wants.
So they sent a message to Joseph: Dad said, Be nice to us.
But did you notice what Joseph did when he got that message? Look back at vs. 17.
When he heard that, Joseph broke down and wept. Why did he weep? Because even
though Joseph had forgiven his brothers previous to our reading, they are still afraid of
him. There is still no trust between them, still no real reconciliation.
So Joseph reaches out to those who have wronged him to complete the reconciliation.
And he does three things that one writer says are pinnacles of Biblical faith. Three
things:
1. He leaves all the righting of wrongs in Gods hands.
2. He sees Gods benevolent purposes even in the malicious actions of others.
3. And finally, Joseph chooses to repay evil not only with forgiveness, but with
practical affection.
Were going to look at these three actions one by one.
First, leaving the righting of wrongs to God.
Josephs brothers throw themselves face down in front of Joseph, afraid that Joseph is
going to get them back for what they did to him. But look at what Joseph says in vs. 19:
Dont be afraid. Am I in the place of God?
What does Joseph mean by that? Well, in the context of this story, he means that its not
his place - its the place of God alone - to take vengeance. So, when we seek revenge
against someone whos done us wrong, we are putting ourselves in the place of God.
2

And for forgiveness to happen, for reconciliation to happen, you cant be seeking
revenge.
Now, when were wronged, the thought of revenge sometimes seems irresistibly sweet.
Our first impulse, the instinctive impulse, the primal impulse, is to strike back. To get
revenge. And the longer the wrong simmers inside us, the more the desire for revenge
grows. And what are we after? We want the person to feel something of the pain we feel.
I am reminded of the story about a mother who ran into the bedroom when she
heard her seven-year-old son scream. She found his two-year-old sister pulling his
hair. She gently released the little girl's grip and said comfortingly to the boy,
There, there. She didn't mean it. She doesn't know that hurts. He nodded his
acknowledgment, and she left the room.
As she started down the hall, the little girl screamed. Rushing back in, she asked,
What happened?
The little boy replied, She knows now.
But it goes beyond inflicting pain. We want to even the score and punish the person for
wronging us. Deep in our hearts, is a cry for justice. That wrong-doers be punished.
And most of the time, wed like to do the punishing. And the longer it simmers inside us,
the more graphic our fantasies of revenge become. This hitting home for anyone here?
But sweet as revenge may seem, we do not have the capacity to administer punishment
fairly and justly. God says, Vengeance is mine, I will repay.
Why? Because only God can judge fairly. That person who wronged you - you dont
know why they did what they did. You dont know the pressures they are under, the hurts
they feel, the evil they have suffered. You may not be able to see your own part in
causing the situation. Yes, they hurt you - but you do not have the capacity to measure
out justice, youre too involved. This is why in our justice system we have an impartial
judge and jury figure out guilt or innocent, and to issue sentence, rather than the victim,
because the victim would have a hard time acting justly.
For example...during a snowstorm, a lot of people do stupid things. At an intersection a
guy in a pickup truck was yacking on his cell phone and trying to steer with one hand and
came through the intersection and lost control and almost hit me. And as it was
happened, a whole scenario flashed through my mind - he broadsides me and after I
recover from the shock I bolt out of my car and rip open his door...and invite him to
church. No, administer some justice!

Because in a fraction of a second, Ive already convicted him of gross stupidity of

harming me and Ive formulated his sentence and Im going to dish out some
payback.
But...I dont have the capacity to judge fairly. I dont know why he was on the
phone. Like George Carlin said, we assume that everyone going faster than you is
an idiot, and everyone going slower than you is a moron...but maybe the guy was
talking to his wife whod just got a bad report from a medical test...or a friend
who just got laid off from work...or something else deeply distracting.
But its even more than not having the capacity for acting justly - you see, when someone
does wrong to you, you are standing on the edge of a cliff.
Because if you pay back evil done to you with more evil, you will become evil
yourself. Because you start to get hard and cold, you start to get self-pitying, selfabsorbed, you plot and scheme. If you repay evil with evil, you become evil.
Joseph is able to put aside seeking revenge. Jesus asks us to do the same.
But forsaking revenge doesnt mean allowing the guilty to go unpunished. We
can forsake revenge because we can leave it to Gods justice. We have to look
forward and trust God that, in one writers words, ...that the matters of truth and
justice will be taken care of, that perpetrators have been named, judged and (one
hopes) transformed, that victims are safe and their wounds healed, a forgetting
that can therefore ultimately take place only together with the creation of all
things new.1
Heres the second thing he does. Joseph is able to see Gods benevolent purposes even in
the malicious actions of his brothers,
When weve been hurt, wounded, violated, its like were down in a narrow valley. One
of the valleys west of town is like that. Only a mile or so wide, mountains on the east and
west, and you cant see very far, down in that valley. But you drive up to the top of one
of the mountains, you can see a long, long ways. Total change of perspective.
When youve been wounded and youre down in the valley of your pain and anger, all
you can see is what the other person did to you, all you can feel is your pain and anger.
And when you are down in the valley and something bad happens, we often think God
doesnt care how weve been hurt.
But Joseph is able to take the mountain-top view, where you can see out into the distance.
He doesnt deny that bad stuff happened to him - he says to his brother, You intended to
harm me... But look on with me at the rest of this verse - its one of the most amazing
4

statement in the Bible - but God intended it for good. You did terrible things to me but God did something good even through your worst.
When we understand this, its an incredible resource. God works through even the sin of
others, even the wrong they do us. God works even through our sin as well. The power
of God to bless is not confined to the good people do; God finds a way to bless us even
through the worst things people to do us.
This is flabbergastingly amazing. This means that other people cant mess up Gods
loving plan for you. The view from the valley is that someone is doing something bad to
you. The view from the mountain is that God will use even the harm done to you, as a
way to bless you and use you to bless others. You cant be sunk. You cant be defeated.
Because God takes even the worst people to do us, and incorporates it into Gods perfect
plan. Gods will to bless and to save will not be defeated, not by what others do to you.
Let me tell you a personal story. After college, Susan and I got married and I went
to work for a large insurance company in Newark, New Jersey. I had an
administrative job. Did well. I was promoted to a group supervisor, and when
promoted was by far the youngest person in that job in the whole company.
Seemed like I was on the rise. Then the companys board decided to move my
division out to Kansas City. Just like that, my job was eliminated. I got shunted
over to a make-work kind of job while they tried to figure out if they were going
to keep me. That was painful. And it was scary - our son Peter had come along,
we were worried about my job, the economy was really bad.
But then I was offered a transfer to Kansas City, and to be trained in computer
systems design and programming. I said No at first. Didnt want to move to the
Midwest, we didnt know anyone, plus wasnt confident Id be any good at
computer work.
But after a couple of weeks, felt God saying we should go. So we did. Was
trained and did well at the job. But that wasnt the purpose of God getting us out
there. When we moved we joined a large Presbyterian church. And while in that
church, the pastor there got me to pray about going into the ministry, an idea I had
previously resisted. I prayed. Got an overwhelming call to ministry. We went.
Got a lot of support from that church. And thats why Im doing this today. Out
of the pain of my job being eliminated, I ended up in the ministry, where God
wanted me.
No matter what others do, no matter what happens to you, God will use it for good. What
a resource!
And that cross was the ultimate example of God bringing good out of evil. That ought to
5

humble us. That ought to give us confidence that God is working for our good in the
midst of pain.
And we have a choice here - when bad stuff happens, you can choose to be a victim,
choose to feel sorry for yourself, to be bitter and resentful - or you can choose something
better - you can find hope by trusting that even in the midst of lifes worst, God is
working for your good.
All we can do in some situations is choose our response. So whats it going to
be? Bitterness, or faith?
Okay, last point. Joseph is able to love those who had been his enemies, and he treats his
brothers and their families with kindness. Joseph provides for them, gives them land to farm,
and protects them.
Now, we may be tempted to dismiss Josephs example by saying, Hes a hero of the
faith, his story made it into the Bible - Im just me.
Wrong. We have resources beyond what Joseph had. Once, Jesus was asked what he
thought of John the Baptist - and Jesus said, Hes the greatest - no one born of a woman
is greater than John. But the least person in the Kingdom of God is greater than John.
John was the last of the prophets. And Jesus said that the least, or weakest, person in the
Kingdom of God, is greater than John. Why - because we have the example and spirit of
Jesus Christ. Who was betrayed and killed; he was the One who legitimately deserved to
be in the place of God - but chose not to - chose his place on a cross for our sakes. And
forgave his executioners, and God used his death to give us eternal life. And the gift of
living in the power of the Holy Spirit.
It took Joseph years and years to get to this point - and no doubt he fumed and stewed
about what his brothers did to him, no doubt he fantasized about revenge, but over time,
he got to the point where he could not only forgive his brothers, but treat them with
compassion and kindness.
That may seem - impossible. Wrong. The very idea of it may make you angry. Well, it
takes years sometimes. But healing is possible.
Conclusion
When I began ministry back in 1990, was invited to join a group of Pres. pastors who
gathered every week to share sermon ideas. One of those pastors was J Hammet. After a
year or so, I learned the story of what had happened to Js family.
When J was a boy, he and his family were at a park, and J and his father Jerry, a minster
6

who was then the campus pastor at the University of South Carolina, were hitting balls
back and forth on a tennis court. Js little sister was there, who was about five or six, and
just for a few seconds, she wandered off. A man hiding in the bushes grabbed the little
girl, took her into the woods, assaulted her, and murdered her.
The man was arrested, convicted, and sent to prison for life. Hell never get out. Maybe
you can imagine what this did to the family. The pain, anger, grief - and the smoldering
desire for revenge.
But Jerry Hammet did something unbelievable. He went to visit that man in jail and told
him, You took my little girl from me...and shes never coming back. But I forgive you,
in the name of Jesus.
Over time, not right away, the man asked Jerry to forgive him, asked God to forgive him and every year, Jerry Hammet goes back to that prison, and visits the man who took away
his little girl.
Only Jesus Christ could give a man the power to do that. His power can work in our lives
too. Amen.
Endnotes
Some of the good stuff in this sermon was inspired by a sermon by Tim Keller of Redeemer
Presbyterian on the same scripture passage.
1. Books and Culture, September 1996, p. 12.