Please provide constructive comments on how the author could improve their work

against the marking criteria.

LO1: adapt the methodologies to describe your project design or system
Grade Excellent
Comment
There is a reasonably good flow within the report, however the scope of the project isnt 100
% clear to me. Is the main scope of the project to just collect the data, or is it the quality and
accuracy of the data collected? Understanding the scope of the project affects the system
boundaries and therefore the design requirements. Make this scope clear in both the abstract
and introduction, and then the following problem scoping topics would flow better. You have
started off by highlighting the monitoring aspect of the project in the introduction, but
continue in the body of the ETS, in particular the system boundairies, to focus on what kind
of results you will obtain.
LO2: provide evidence or rationales for design decisions and trade-offs
Grade Excellent
Comment
Some great considerations made in defining the system boundaries. As mentioned above,
when defining the system boundaries, be clear on what it is you are defining. Make sure this
is clear to the reader before delving into decisions about the system. Add a sentence or two on
why you have decided to characterise each boundary as inside, outside or excluded. From the
system boundaries outlined the design requirements make sense. Do these coincide with what
the client wants? What requirements were given by the client? List these in the introduction
to back up your decisions within the design requirements.
Aspect 3
LO3: use technical knowledge alongside systems approaches to improve outcomes
Grade Good
Comment
What other considerations is the client concerned about? Expand on the clients problem
statement to make sure you understand what the design requirements are. Develop a clearer
understanding of what the client actually wants. How is the client handling the data after
capture? This could affect the method chosen for monitoring and recording data.
At this stage, possible methods can be acknowledged for further investigation. Is it feasible to
take the project from pen and paper method to an electronic system? Can telemetry and
automated systems be applied? Is there enough budget to be able to place permanent
monitoring sites in the hotspot areas?
Aspect 4
LO4: construct clear and insightful arguments and analysis for your design
Grade Good to Excellent
Comment
Great use of tables, make sure to correctly label them as stated in the Engineering Report
Formatting document available in Wattle.
As mentioned above, make the introduction a little clearer as well, some of the sentences in
the introduction do not read very smoothly. I suggest handing in your ETS to the Academic

Skills & Learning Centre to help with grammar, language and sentence construction, this is a
very useful service.
In the introduction, talk more about what the problem is. What method is the client using at
the moment? What is limiting in the current method? Why has monitoring been so ineffective
to date?
Aspect 5
LO5: research and defend arguments about your project design or system
Grade Adequate
Comment
ANU is a big campus with many students and workers, conduct some research and further
define what this project will be covering. How many entrances are there by road, bike paths
and walkways.
Conduct some research into other simular such projects to get an idea on methods to use, what
problems they faced and how they dealt with it. Compare this to your own project. What can be used
to make the collection of data more efficient and accurate.
It would be good to have some references as well to support your considerations into the project. Here
are some broad ideas to get you started.
http://ieeexplore.ieee.org/xpls/abs_all.jsp?arnumber=6099921&tag=1
http://ieeexplore.ieee.org/xpls/abs_all.jsp?arnumber=5533215