An Evolution of Leadership

A Spoken Word Piece by: Andrea De Leon

De Leon Express
Project Audio (1).m4a

Click for audio

I used to think leadership was a line on a resume or a plaque on the wall

My parents and teachers and mentors kept saying
Colleges want leaders
If youre not one, they wont want you at all
So I subscribed to the system and I racked up the hours
I was president, and co-chair, and the one with the power
The resume grew longer and the pride spiked higher
Society was selling, and I was the buyer
OSU was a dream, but I saw all the flaws
Student leaders were royalty making the laws
Positional leadership flooded the campus
Elitist leaders were faces of the school on a canvas
It all felt like high school
All over again
Run for an e-board position, they said
But I didnt have time to become the elite
I worked two jobs and just couldnt compete
So I decided to study leadership
I would take a class, or possibly six
Maybe then I could claim all the leadership tricks
But instead I learned to put myself into a box
I was extroverted, and futuristic, a true gold
I felt locked

First the MBTI, then LPI, then EIL and Strengths

I swam in alphabet soup and, again,
My listed skills and talents extended in length
It didnt feel right
It didnt make sense
Leaders shouldnt be locked in by a fence
But then I took capstone
And changed my point of view
It was real, and authentic
And my ideas of leadership were new
Now I saw leaders as vulnerable beings
People who were humble, and risked being seen
I aspired to be a leader of this kind
And sought to develop the leadership thoughts in my mind
Graduate school was where this learning would occur
In Leadership in Higher Ed
A class Id love, I was sure
I read Heifetz and Northouse
And Dugan et. al.
I learned theory and practice
And tore down my walls
I learned that leaders are efficacious and courageous
Selfless and serving
They are learners and seekers
Listening and observing

I learned about bravery, and friendship, and uncensored love

I saw everyday leadership
In the peers Im proud of
And now I see leadership in a new light
Its not a title or role
But a way to ignite
Ignite in ourselves and in others we know
A passion for justice and love
And planting seeds that will grow
It is naming identity
And sharing our souls
It is listening to stories
And eliminating roles
Leadership is having the hard conversations
And expressing our fears
It is fighting together
And embracing our tears
It is saying yes to what is right
And no to what is not
It is challenging humanity
To question all weve been taught
Leadership is the practice of love
And the pursuit of connection
It is critical hope
And creating direction

I love words. I have this thing about them that I cannot quite explain, but I know that
when I write or when I speak; when I listen or when I think, I feel fulfilled. So, I knew that words
would be involved in this project. It would have been easiest for me to write a traditional paper, or
to even write this poem and just leave it at that, but this semester, Ive been courageous and I knew
that speaking aloud would be just that.
I wanted to detail my understanding of leadership as it has evolved over my lifetime, and
not just in this course. I think that communicating how I understood leadership before I began this
course adds weight to the true impact that this course had. It is clear that I used to see leadership
as positional and elitist. Now, I see it as relational and progressive. It is learned and not born. It
is hard and not easy. Leadership is practicing courage, and vulnerability. It is being authentic and
feeling your feelings.
The readings and the projects throughout the course of this semester have influenced my
new thoughts. Grace Lee Boggss work was probably the most influential. The fact that I
simultaneously read texts for Critical Social Theory provided an added lens through which I began
to see leadership. I now see it as love for humanity and creating direction so that we can get to a
place in which that love truly exists. Aside from the readings and projects, though, I learned most
about leadership from my peers. The community that we developed in our class was real. There
were no walls up, no blinders on. Each week, every single one of us showed up, ready and willing
to be seen. We told our stories and we heard them too. We grew together and learned together,
and thats what leaders do.
So, as I walk away from this class, I know that I need to do. I need to continue to allow
myself to be seen, and to hear others stories. I need to both name and embrace the realistic
struggle, and I need to hold on to the critical hope that I have. I will continue to fight for the love
that we all deserve. I will be the leader Ive been looking for.