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Contents
Introduction ...5
Understanding and Overcoming the Nature of
Fear ...6
Gratitude As An Antidote To Fear...13
The Story Of My Fearless Daughter...15
Boldness Has Magic, Power And
Genius In It...18
Grow Your Courage Muscles...27
When Nothing Else Works Calm Down...30
Financial Abundance Is A State of Mind...37
Embrace Fear And Choose Change...42
Action Dissolves Fear...49
Introduction
Are you satisfied with your life today? Would you be OK if
you are in the same place one year from now? There is only
one thing that keeps you from moving forward. There is only
one thing that will cause you to settle for less. Fear.
What do you fear?
Fear ofspeaking your truth, changing jobs, changing
locations, flying, commitment, beginning a relationship,
ending a relationship, intimacy, social situations? It doesnt
matter what you fear. This book will give you tools and
techniques and insight and wisdom to improve your ability to
handle what life puts in front of you.
This is your opportunity to move from a place of doubt,
worry, and fear to one of authentic power, self-confidence,
and excitement.
Its not enough to read this book. You must take action. The
amount of growth you experience depends on how much you
are willing to actively participate in doing the exercises and
reinforcing the concepts. This is your opportunity to make
the changes you need in order to fear less and increase your
happiness! Dont let this opportunity slip by.
other tasks will look and feel easy once you ground yourself
in your new beliefs. If I ever got a tattoo, it would be of
these three lines.
Once you believe that you are enough, that you have
enough, and that you do enough, you begin to believe it
about others, as well. You begin to sleep at night. You serve
others without thoughts of what you can get in return. You
smile more. Your fear fades and your days begin to flow.
Growing up on a farm, there was no time for fear. My nine
siblings and I worked on our 80-acre produce farm, three
seasons of every year, until we left home. We worked every
evening, every day we weren't in school, and every
weekend.
School work and time for study was secondary. Academically
I slid by. I didn't fail but I could barely maintain aboveaverage grades. I never thought of myself as smart. There
was no discussion of college with this farm girl. I believe
thats part of the reason I became pregnant and married so
young.
Hubs and I took our family to church every Sunday because
it gave us a two-hour break while the girls attended Sunday
school.
Even though I never played a sport in my life, I joined the
church softball team and felt a part of something outside of
motherhood.
Father Don, the parish priest, was young, attractive, and
helped coach the team. He was also insightful and
philosophical. The experience was fun and enlightening. It
was my only social outlet.
Don (as he liked to be called) suggested that I attend
college part-time when the twins, our youngest, began
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Its not because things are difficult that we dare not venture.
Its because we dare not venture that they are difficult. ~
Seneca
Love life.
Kristy lives with enthusiasm, passion, and a zest for life. Her
energy is contagious. She currently volunteers for Back on
My Feet, a nonprofit organization dedicated to creating
independence and self-sufficiency within the homeless and
other underserved populations by first engaging them in
running as a means to build confidence, strength, and selfesteem.
Don't allow fear, doubt, or worry to hold you back. You can
overcome the obstacles in your way. My daughter taught me
that, and now Im teaching others to do that.
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At the end of the day, write down the love you experienced.
Write down the kindness you witnessed. Write down the love
that youve seen expressed. What you focus on expands.
When you look for love, youll find it.
The most important thing in this world is to learn to give out
love and let it come in. ~ Maurie Schwartz
Give the love you want to experience.
Be the first to offer to help. Hold the door open for
strangers. Look people in the eye and be first to say hello.
Love is a verb. Take action.
Love isnt a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun, like
struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person
exactly the way he or she is, right here and now. ~ Fred
Rogers
Appreciate the ones youre with.
Focus on others' strengths. Refuse to criticize. Be the first
person to declare and demonstrate your love to your friends
and family members. Dont ever hold back or withdraw your
love. Be grateful for all the people in the world who love
you.
Once you have learned to love, you will have learned to live.
~ Unknown
Love yourself.
Begin today. Speak well of yourself. Praise yourself.
Celebrate yourself. Be willing to put yourself first. If its true
that we cant love anyone until we love ourselves, no
wonder theres a dearth of love being expressed in the
world. Meet your own needs. Make it your no.1 priority.
There is no reason to feel alone and unloved. There is no
excuse not to be more loving. Make your choice for love
today. Take a stand. Give love. Express love. Be love,
loving. A whole new world awaits you.
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Take Responsibility.
Its up to you to change everything youre unhappy about in
your life. If you dont like something, change it.
Recognize your projections.
Your problems are never about someone else. If you spot it,
you got it. Recognize what you need to heal and move on.
Motivate yourself.
I have been feeling low lately. I decided to change things up
and run a marathon. I paid my entrance fee. Im
committed.
Hire a coach.
Life is short. You dont have to struggle. Get the help you
need, move forward and do great things.
Change your story. Let the past go. Let your fear go.
Youre the author of your life. Create a new story. Make it
amazing and beautiful.
Laugh at your fear.
Tell fear youll get back to it next Tuesday. Go do something
worthwhile.
Dont take things personally.
What other people do is about them. How you react is about
you. Its not necessary to cause yourself pain.
Make a choice to be a loving and kind person today.
Check in with yourself to see how youre doing throughout
your day. Notice your thoughts and mood. Take a time out
and regroup when you need to. Choose to make deliberate,
loving choices.
Drop the drama.
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What is on my mind?
Am I making this issue, fear, or worry something
bigger than it really is?
Can I prove myself wrong?
Will it matter a year, six months, 3 months or even one
month from now?
How can I see this differently?
Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky. Conscious
breathing is my anchor. ~ Thich Nhat Hanh
Inhale Peace. Exhale Love.
All the thoughts we think are about the pain of the past or
the fear of the future. Learn to take life one present
moment at a time. Learn to pause throughout your day.
Slowly inhale through your nose and silently repeat the word
"peace." Pause for a few seconds. Exhale through your
mouth and silently repeat the world love. Do this for five
minutes. Repeat as needed.
Its not the load that breaks you down; its the way you
carry it. ~ Lena Horne
11. Again, seek professional help.
It takes deep self-love and courage to seek out help when
you can't cope alone. If you could do it alone, you would
have by now. Most people seek help when they are sick and
tired of being sick and tired.
My daughter's school counselor had a sign in her office that
said, "Yougottawanna."
Its up to you to attract success, prosperity, opportunities
and love, achieve dreams and goals, and take control of
your life! How badly do you want a better life for yourself?
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With the proper action your life can get better. You owe it to
yourself. You are worthy. I am here to support you.
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Financial Abundance:
Its A State Of Mind
We live in a cultural vortex of scarcity. It's hard to escape it.
Everyone gets sucked into "not enoughness" some of the
time. Everyone runs scared once in a while.
However, if you are in a constant state of worry and fear
about your finances and your future, your core belief is in
scarcity. If you believe in lack, no matter what you own or
how much money you have, it will never be enough.
Sufficiency isn't two steps up from poverty or one step short
of abundance. It isn't a measure of barely enough or more
than enough. Sufficiency isn't an amount at all. It is an
experience, a context we generate, a declaration, a knowing
that there is enough, and that we are enough. ~ Brene
Brown
I was 17 and pregnant when I got married in 1972. I didnt
have a dime in my pocket. Hubs had one dollar in his wallet.
We had a big Polish wedding and most of our guests gifted
us with money. It's tradition. We knew we would do well and
we did. That was the extent of our plan!
In a recession you can still succeed.
There was a recession in the U.S. from 1973-1975. We were
too blinded by love to notice or care. Hubs worked in a
factory and I planted flowers on two acres of land and sold
them at the farmers market. We both had a lot of energy
and we inherited strong work ethics.
We were clueless, in-love, and crazy-busy. Without a real
plan, we became parents to four girls by the time I was 22.
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Let go.
What bad habit holds you back? Where do you waste time?
Where do you lose ground? Turn off your TV, games and
porn. Stop drinking, drugging and procrastinating. Let go of
bitterness, resentment and anger. Get help if you have to.
Put your new found energy into your dream.
Prepare.
Begin your day with quiet time, meditation or journaling.
This will give you clarity. Choose three of your most
important tasks. This is your to-do list. Dont check email or
surf the net. Dont allow for interruptions. Be 100% focused
on your work.
Create a support network.
Find people who are doing what you want to do and
befriend them. Get a mentor. Hang out with positive people.
Build a community. Become a giver and a go-to person.
Take care of yourself.
Keep up your energy. Eat healthy and exercise. Take
scheduled breaks. Always make room for fun and play. Dont
dwell on your mistakes. Spend time with your family and
friends.
Don't ever give up. Don't ever give in. Don't ever stop
trying. Don't ever sell out.
And if you find yourself succumbing to one of the above for
a brief moment, pick yourself up, brush yourself off, whisper
a prayer, and start where you left off. But never, ever, ever
give up. ~ Richelle E. Goodrich
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Its been said before you cant keep doing the same things
and expect different results. Small steps are always a good
way to begin. For example, get up and go to bed an hour
earlier, eliminate bread and eat more fruit. Save $5 daily.
Take a new route to work. Change the way you wear your
hair. Its the small changes you make 365 days a year that
will add up to big changes.
Introduce yourself to someone bold, someone you
admire.
Choose someone who has bold qualities (daring,
spontaneous, outrageous, brave, and confidence). You will
that notice bold, live-out-loud people, think, talk and do
things differently.
Watch how they never miss an opportunity to introduce
themselves to someone or offer compliments.
I guarantee you they also have a strong hand shake and a
big smile. Bold people are inspiring. They are guilty of being
outrageous, gutsy, and daring. They participate in unique
things. They believe in themselves and they believe in their
dreams.
Bold people can be friends, family, authors, artists,
infopreneurs, bloggers, inventors and engineers. You find
them on TV, the internet, advertisements, books, movies
and videos.
Dont hold back.
Its so easy to pass up opportunities out of fear of rejection.
Ask for the date, give an apology, lend a hand or volunteer.
If you want a referral, ask. If you want help ask. If you want
the job, ask.
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Life Is A Process
Sometimes its the smallest decisions that can change your
life forever. ~ Keri Russell
Fear is a wellspring for growth. If the thought of quitting a
job, meeting new people, or speaking in public makes you
shake in your shoes, you have found a treasure trove.
These bold living activities are opportunities to change your
life and expand your comfort zone. When you do the things
you fear to do, you send a message to the world that says,
Im ready!
As you act, the universe responds and matches your actions
with support, opportunity and serendipity. The decision to
take action becomes a turning point.
Turning points are the moments you decide to make change
happen. Its the moment you quit your job, join AA, end a
relationship, get married, move to a new location, or get a
degree. Turning points are major transitions that take you
into a new way of life.
One of the biggest turning points in my life was when I
decided to get counseling. I was 27 years old. I was
miserable. I was failing as a wife and mother. I was tired of
being miserable. I knew there had to be a better way.
At the time, I didnt know that one choice would lead to my
own masters degree in counseling psychology and a private
practice. At the time, I didnt realize that the personal
growth I committed to would change my life in every way
imaginable. I only knew I was ready.
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Dont allow fear to hold you back from the life that you
deserve. Dont allow fear to rob you of your happiness,
passion, and purpose.
Dont fear failure. Youll live through it. If you mess up you
can try again. If you lose your house you can get an
apartment. If you lose your money, you can earn more. If
you lose your friend, you can make another. Its never the
end of the world!
We have resources. We have each other. Remember that
you are brilliant, talented, and worthy. Remember your
purpose and your commitment. Remember that you
are strong and capable.
Life is a miracle from the first breath until the last. Live it.
Life is painful and thrilling and beautiful all at the same
time. Feel it.
Life is precious and challenging and maddening and
wild. Allow it flow.
Life is a risk-filled adventure with no guarantees. Do what
scares you.
Life is swinging emotions and continuous change. Breathe
deeply.
Life is difficult and fleeting and without guarantee. Love
openly.
Life is abundant and expansive. Create a masterpiece.
Life is simple and messy and chaotic and blurred. Don't quit.
Life is lightness and meaning and harmoniously
delightful. Be free.
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Tess Marshall
The Bold Life
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