Moon 1

Jessa Moon
Cosmin Ritivoiu
English 102
10 March 2015
Relating the Eighth Commandment to Courtship
The fifth commandment in, Exodus 20, states, Honor your father and your mother, that
your days may be long upon the land which the LORD you God is giving you (12). This
commandment is very important and when it is observed it can save many young people a lot of
potential heartache. Obedience to parents in all areas of life will result in a life with less regret.
This is what Ellen White says about the fifth commandment in her book The Adventist Home:
Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which
the Lord thy God giveth thee. This is the first commandment with promise. It is
binding upon childhood and youth, upon the middle-aged and the aged. There is
no period in life when children are excused from honoring their parents. This
solemn obligation is binding upon every son and daughter and is one of the
conditions to their prolonging their lives upon the land which the Lord will give
the faithful. This is not a subject unworthy of notice, but a matter of vital
importance. (White 292)
Here, Ellen White discusses the importance of honoring your parents. She does not say that it is
something which is optional, but instead she uses the word vital to describe its importance. She
says it is something which must be done during all phases of life, not just when children are
young but also as they are growing up and moving into adulthood. Although there are differing

Moon 2
levels of dependency on parents during different stages of life, children should always maintain a
respect for their parents.
In her book Testimonies to the Church volume one Ellen White writes:
Children who dishonor and disobey their parents, and disregard their advice and
instructions, can have no part in the earth made new. The purified new earth will
be no place for the rebellious, the disobedient, the ungrateful, son or daughter.
Unless such learn obedience and submission here, they will never learn it; the
peace of the ransomed will not be marred by disobedient, unruly, unsubmissive
children. No commandment breaker can inherit the kingdom of heaven. Will all
the youth please read the fifth commandment of the law spoken by Jehovah from
Sinai and engraven with His own finger upon tables of stone? (White 497)
This is why obedience to parents is such a vital issue. It will bring benefits to the lives of those
who obey this commandment on earth, but the most important reason to obey this commandment
is because heaven is not a place for those who do not have genuinely submissive hearts. One of
the best ways to attain a submissive heart is to practice obedience in our relationships here on
earth. When we demonstrate obedience and submission in our human relationships this will
naturally flow into our relationship with God and fit us for a life in heaven.
Honoring your parents is not something that is popular to do. Today it might even be
viewed as strange to honor your parents, but it is something that God sees as important. The
eighth commandment in Exodus says, Honor your father and your mother, that your days may
be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you (20:12). This commandment
applies to life in general, but it also applies to courtship. At times young people do not want to

Moon 3
honor their parents in this area of life. They think they know what is best and what will make
them happy, but for their own happiness and wellbeing they should seek and honor the counsel
of godly parents.
The commandment to honor your parents is a commandment that comes with a promise.
This commandment will not make life more miserable. Like all of the Ten Commandments; if
followed, it will ultimately lead to happiness. Ellen White writes in her book, Letters to Young
Lovers, If you are blessed with God-fearing parents, seek counsel of them. Open to them your
hopes and plans; learn the lessons which their life experiences have taught (White 45). To many
young people who are considering a relationship, seeking counsel from their parents might be the
last thing they feel like doing, however, it is for their ultimate good. If their parents are people
who fear God then they are able to counsel their children in the right way to live and their
children will be able to learn valuable lessons from their experiences so as not to make the same
mistakes.
It is important that children know their parents well before they reach their teenage years.
Ellen White writes, If children would be more familiar with their parents, if they would confide
in them, and unburden to them their joys and sorrows, they would save themselves many a future
heartache (45). If children are not comfortable with their parents then they will not feel
comfortable sharing their courtship with them. Parents should make an effort to capture the
hearts of their children at a young age so when the children reach the teenage years they will
already have a trusting relationship with them. It is even good to have a friendship between
parents and children so they are able to relate, trust each other and have fun together. This will
result in the children being open to parental advice and being willing to share their courtship with
their parents.

Moon 4
Respect to elders is something that has become somewhat taboo in the culture today, but
respect to parents is very vital when considering courting. When both of the people who are
considering a relationship respect their parents it is evidence that they will respect their future
family as well. If, however, they do not respect their parents and their siblings as well, then they
cannot expect to have a happy relationship when they get married. Their habits will follow them
over into their other relationships. It is important for one who is considering a relationship to first
realize this in their own life and practice cooperation and respect in their current family. And
second, they must evaluate whether or not their potential spouse demonstrates respect in their
current family. If they both learn to respect their families this will carry on into their future
relationships.
In Ephesians 6:1-3 it says, Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise: that it may be
well with you and you may live long on the earth. Although honoring and obeying their parents
may be the very last thing young people want to do at times, it is so important because it will
ultimately lead to their own joy. Perhaps their parents have told them something they did not
want to hear. Maybe they do not think it is a good idea to marry the person they are courting or
perhaps they think they should take their relationship slower. Although this might not be what the
young person wants to hear and it may be very difficult to obey their parents it is what is best for
them.
If both the parents and the children are seeking the Lord and surrendering their will to
Him the children will be able to obey their parents even it is very difficult in the moment. Their
parents at times can see things that the people who are courting cannot see. They might not be
well suited for each other, or they may be making hasty decisions. Their parents are in a much

Moon 5
better position to see this. While when their children have grown older the parents are not able to
make decisions for their children or force them to do anything, but if they have established a
relationship with them at a young age they will be able to still talk to them and their children will
value their opinions because they trust and respect them. It is a trust and a respect that has been
built over a long period of time.
It is best for young people to look at parents, or other godly role models in their lives, as
teammates when courting rather than looking at them as opponents. If they establish a positive
and heathy relationship with their parents at a young age, and look at their parents as teammates,
this will lead them to a healthier and happier relationship. Their parents, who are the people who
know them best and truly have their best interest in mind, will be able to guide them and share
their wisdom. When children honor their parents in everything, including courting, they will be
able to have a relationship closer to Gods ideal.

Moon 6
Works Cited
The Remnant Study Bible: With E.G. White Comments. New King James Version. ed. Coldwater, Mich.:
Remnant Publications, 2009. Print.
White, Ellen Gould Harmon. Letters to Young Lovers. Mountain View, Calif.: Pacific Pub. Association,
1983. Print.
-- Testimonies for the Church. 4th ed. Mountain View, Calif.: Pacific Pub. Assn., 1948. Print.
-- The Adventist Home: Counsels to Seventh-Day Adventist Families. Washington, DC: Review and
Herald Pub. Association, 2001. Print.