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Received
6
May
2015;
accepted
7
May
2015
A
primate
with
an
appetence
for
soluble
carbohydrates
(SC)
presented
to
our
department
for
banana
therapy.
The
treatment
plan
was
a
banana
a
day
helps
a
monkey
feel
happier
in
a
really
yummy
way.
All
bananas
were
just
ripe.
The
response
to
Banana
Therapy
Treatment
(BTT)
was
evaluated
by
observing
the
size
of
the
smiles
the
primate
visibly
expressed.
J
Pretreatment
dose
assessment
included
calculations
with
a
Berry
Treatment
Planning
System,
MUSA
data
analysis,
and
JOY
estimations
by
measuring
the
angle
of
the
zygomaticus
major
muscle,
which
raises
the
corners
of
the
mouth
when
the
primate
smiles.
J
During
the
first
primate
treatment,
bananas
were
placed
on
tables
in
an
otherwise
empty,
white-walled
room.
No
additional
fruit
was
present.
BTT
was
considered
by
the
team
to
be
a
great
idea.
Bananas
for
all,
was
the
teams
motto.
Banana
dosage
increased
cumulatively,
up
to
three
(3)
bananas
over
a
24-hour
period.
Additional
banana
increases
were
suggested,
but
Dr.
Laughing
remarked
that
giving
primates
more
than
three
bananas
over
a
24-hour
period
would
raise
their
high
sugar
high
fat
(HSHF)
levels,
which
is
unhealthy.
The
primate
in
this
study
exhibited
no
adverse
response
to
being
limited
to
three
bananas
daily.
Our
results
are
based
on
one
fictitious
case
study
and
further
applause
is
encouraged
for
the
author.
JI.
Introduction
A
5-year
old
male
primate
presented
to
our
department
with
an
appetence
for
soluble
carbohydrates
(SC)
requiring
banana
therapy
treatment.
In
other
words
he
had
a
sweet
tooth.
The
sweet
tooth
was
discovered
during
a
prior
experimental
time
travel
study
to
which
the
primate
was
subject.
Traveling
back
to
1968
said
primate
was
directed
to
attend
a
concert
performed
by
the
American
pop/rock
band,
The
Monkees.
According
to
study
notes
the
lead
scientist
spearheading
the
study
considered
sending
a
monkey
back
in
time
to
attend
a
Monkees
concert
ironic,
and
thus
funny.
Additional
study
notes
included
by
his
colleagues
indicated
that
they
did
not
share
his
sense
of
humor.
Ironically
the
primate
returned
with
an
appetence
for
bananas
and
pop
art,
but
with
no
knowledge
of
the
following
songs:
Im
a
Believer,
Day
Dream
Believer,
or
(the
theme
song
from)
The
Monkees.
The
resulting
sweet
tooth
was
discovered
when
the
primate
broke
into
the
scientists
mini-
frig,
absconding
only
with
bananas,
leaving
behind
yoghurt,
coconut
milk,
and
5
large
strawberries.
The
primate
underwent
initial
treatments
in
which
said
scientists
offered
him
other
pastries
and
treats,
but
he
refused.
Since
the
primate
only
wanted
bananas,
and
since
the
primates
mood
improved
after
eating
bananas,
and
since
the
primate
stopped
smoking
after
eating
bananas
(a
nasty
habit
the
primate
picked
up
from
a
nicotine
addiction
study),
the
scientists
eventually
questioned
whether
or
not
the
increased
consumption
of
bananas
was
aiding
the
primate
with
mood
regulation
as
well
as
assisting
the
primate
in
mitigating
the
effects
of
nicotine
withdrawal.
They
thus
sent
the
primate
to
Dr.
Laughing
for
further
evaluation
at
the
Department
of
Banana
Ology
at
the
California
Banana
Center.
http://sophlylaughing.blogspot.com/
http://sophlylaughing.blogspot.com/
Fig.
1.
This
is
Andy
Warhols
cover
art
for
the
album
The
Velvet
Underground
&
Nico
by
the
artist
The
Velvet
Underground.
JIII.
Results
The
BTT
results
over
the
entire
banana
therapy
treatment
course
are
displayed
in
Fig.
2.
The
more
bananas
the
primate
received
during
a
24-hour
period,
the
larger
was
the
primates
smile.
The
primates
smile
muscles
were
measured
electromyographically.
Further
testing
should
include
magnetic
resonance
imaging
to
measure
cerebral
blood
flow
to
measure
happiness.
Number
of
Bananas
Primate
Size
of
Primate
Smile
Consumed
(Not
to
scale)
J
1
2
3
Fig. 2. Relative size difference (RSD) of the primates response to banana dosage increases.
http://sophlylaughing.blogspot.com/
JIV.
Conclusions
Primates
with
an
appetence
for
sweets
who
are
not
otherwise
psychologically
distressed
(bored),
who
enjoy
playing
Super
Mario
Kart,
who
respond
favorably
to
chilling
out
in
oversized
beanbags,
who
dont
mind
yellow
shag
carpet,
who
respond
favorably
to
kooky
60s
music,
and
who
can
operate
a
banana
peeling
assist
(BPA)
device,
smile
bigger
when
allowed
to
eat
up
to
three
bananas
during
a
24-hour
period.
Bananas,
which
are
high
in
tryptophan,
which
is
converted
into
serotonin
the
happy-mood
brain
neurotransmitter
are
suspected
to
improve
primate
moods
and
stimulate
positive
behavior
patterns
such
as
laughing,
hugging,
and
bouncing
off
the
walls,
though
it
is
possible
that
the
bouncing
off
the
walls
effect
was
due,
at
least
in
part,
to
the
primate
having
gotten
ahold
of
Dr.
Laughings
Red
Bull.
It
was
thus
notated
that
primate
should
be
tested
for
an
appetence
to
energy
drinks
prior
to
drawing
conclusions.
Our
results
are
based
on
one
fictitious
case
study
and
further
applause
is
encouraged
for
the
author.
References
1.
2.
3.
4.
Richard
DM,
Dawes
MA,
Mathias
CW,
Acheson
A,
Hill-Kapturczak
N,
Dougherty
DM.
L-
Tryptophan:
Basic
Metabolic
Functions,
Behavioral
Research
and
Therapeutic
Indications.
International
Journal
of
Tryptophan
Research:
IJTR.
2009;2:45-60.
Nora
Philbin,
BA.
Institute
of
Neurology,
Queen
Square,
London
WCIN
3BG.
Towards
an
understanding
of
stereotypic
behavior
in
laboratory
macaques.
Christian
B,
Fox
A,
Oler
J,
et
al.
Serotonin
Transporter
Binding
and
Genotype
in
the
Nonhuman
Primate
Brain
using
[C-11]DASB
PET.
NeuroImage.
2009;47(4):1230-1236.
doi:10.1016/j.neuroimage.2009.05.090.
Mubiru
JN,
Garcia-Forey
M,
Higgins
PB,
et
al.
A
preliminary
report
on
the
feeding
of
cynomolgus
monkeys
(Macaca
fascicularis)
with
a
high
sugar
high
fat
diet
for
33
weeks.
Journal
of
Medical
Primatology.
2011;40(5):335-341.
doi:10.1111/j.1600-
0684.2011.00495.x.
*
This
paper
was
presented
for
entertainment
purposes.
The
author
makes
no
claims
and
is
not
responsible
for
reader
interpretation
or
subsequent
thoughts
or
actions
taken
on
account
of
reading
said
fictitious
case
study.
http://sophlylaughing.blogspot.com/