Kama Sutra of Creative Writing

By Donards Kim A. Taedo, RN

Foreplay:
Kama means love and desire, and Sutra means
thread or line that holds things together.
In this short training cum workshop, you shall learn
how to satisfy your readers desires through different
word porn, intellectual masturbation, and gang bang of
angst.
You shall appreciate the art of creative intercourse, the
styles and positions of feature writing, and fetishes of
poetry.
Before this training cum workshop ends, you shall be
able to have sex with your readers through your slimy
words and make love with them in an extraordinary
sexcapade until they achieve the orgasm that they
wanted.

Why do you write?

Inform
Entertain
Persuade
Express
Evoke Certain Feelings

General rule in Creative Writing:

YOU CAN NOT WRITE WHAT YOU DO NOT KNOW.
IF YOU DO NOT KNOW RESEARCH, EXPLORE,
EXPERIENCE.
Feature Writing
Specific venue where you could pour out your
creative juices in;
Writing in your own kind of style;
Free but still has to abide with certain
technicalities.
Feature Article

Virgins, get ready. Its time to get naked.

First Position: The Strip

Creative Writing
An act of expressing gesture with the advantage
of permanence; Squeezing out juices from your mind
which flows into sensible, artistic, and informative pool
of creativity.

A feature article gives the paper a breather and

sets lighter atmosphere for the readers. Hence, the
feature section serves as an important part of the
publication. Knowing feature articles can vary from
Human Interest Stories, Personality Sketches, and
Travelogues. A reader can have the whole world in a
different kind of feel.
Characteristics of an Effective Feature Writer

Creative
Thinks not only outside the box.Makes boxes.
Wordplayer
Patient
General Rule: BE INTERESTING.
Always ponder on the So what? consideration.

Second Position: The Caress

Types of Features
Creative Non-Fiction
First-person point of view.
It is you whos talking.
Blog-style compositions.
Human Interest Story
Most common type of feature article.
It basically deals with practically anything that
humans find interesting.
Appeals to Humanity.
Travelogue
You take your readers to a certain place.
Your readers must be there.
You should make your readers feel the place.
Personality Sketches
Beyond describing a person.
You should not only describe and introduce, you
should also give justice.
You are your readers eyes.
Let your readers shake hands with your article.
Can be an interview or a narrative.
Reviews

Books, movies, tv shows, plays, etc.

Reviewing never meant narrating.
Point out the highlights, conceal secrets, and
keep your readers hanging.

Third Position: Tongue Action

Feature Article
In choosing a certain topic worthy of a feature
article, the writer must consider:
Relevance What is its connection
to the present time?
Creative Value Why should I read
it?
Significance How will it bring
about positive effects?
Information that helps How will
this be helpful in my activities?
Remember: Always go for the things out of the
box. There may be several articles written about one
topic the technique is to find the different angles
and talking points that have not been given too
much attention.
SITUATION: You are asked to write something about
abortion. Everyone knows what abortion is, the
churchs stand, and the issues concerning morality.
Give three things about abortion that has not been
known to some people.

Naked TITLES
Readers may judge your work by your title. A
poorly thought of TITLE is like naming your child
SHIT. Treat your article as your child. Nourish it and
watch it grow.
Consider these cumshots:

Titles do not always have to be catchy... but

they should make sense!
It should always be connected and relevant with
the content or body of your article.
Choose your words...Be careful and witty.
Be reminded of the Girls Skirt: Not too long to
be boring. Not too short to reveal everything.

The FIRST Kiss

When your title passes your readers standard,
the next thing that you have to work on is your LEAD.
Working with Leads is one of the most crucial and
difficult tasks to do for a writer. It really is hard to
figure out how to start your opening paragraph with a
BANG!
Consider these cumshots:

Your LEAD shall always complement your whole

article.

It should link your title with the content and

conclusion.
If you are not confident with your lead, dont
expect them to read.
Making it long is not necessary.

Make that BODY sweaty

Remember that your content is as essential as
other elements of your articles. Actually, this is the
most important part. Work your body by knowing what
must be in it.
Consider these cumshots:

Familiarize yourself with the topic.

You ought to know firsthand what you are
writing about.
You can always research if you lack other
firsthand resources.
Everything is crucial. A single line can turn the
whole article upside down.
Correct grammar and English. Duh
Observe appropriate length.
Proper sequencing and division of thoughts.
Use transitional devices such as but not limited
to: Furthermore; Generally; In addition...
Dont limit yourself. Dont be too broad and
profound though.
Make flowers bloom.

Wet ENDING

Wrapping it all up can be challenging. Making

your conclusion can be as difficult as starting your
article. Your conclusion will be the turning point of your
article- only in your conclusion, where your reader
would tell himself Yes or No. A good conclusion
must be clear yet hanging. You can make your readers
think with the help of your last lines- the moment
when your reader snaps a finger, smiles, or show signs
of thinking... then you are effective.

Im not ready, bye bye baby

When Canned and Frozen Goods Go Bad
Colons [Subject: What about it]
Catanauan Cove: Paradise Along Shores of Quezon
Amusin: Mga Hikbi sa Kahabaan ng Siyudad ng
Lucena
Twisted [modifications of common and known
maxims]

Consider these cumshots:

Make your conclusion look like a real conclusion.

Synthesize.
An effective conclusion must be able to link
itself with the lead or the title- you end where it
all started.
Realization counts.
Dont always go for happy endings. Go for
endings that make you happy even if it means
killing someone in the end.
Your ending will define your article, most
probably.
The BIG BANG!

One Mans Trash, is Another Mans Masterpiece

Dont Judge a Book, Download it
Compound [fusion of two independent titles]
Looking Beyond the Obvious, Stretching Truth Out
From Small Packages
Taking Deep Breaths, Surviving Modern Atlantis
Action Packed [use of active verbs]
Flipping Through Pages from Online Shelves
Digesting the SLSU Students
Snob Appeal [mysterious effect]

Get into my pants: Approaches,

Techniques, Word Pornography.
TITLE
Humorous [making words amusing]

Ang Babae sa Likod ng Hijab

When Cinderella goes solo
Figurative [using different figures of speech]
Soaking with Skin Kissers
Libro sa Umaga, Rebolber sa Gabi

Reality [presenting current trend]

LEAD AND CONCLUSION

One-Liner [one word says it all]
Hungry... Cheers!
Paradise has never been a few drives away- Never,
until now
Think about it

Cyberspace has practically taken over the world as

we know it and consequently even internet cafes,
computer gaming shops, and anywhere with Wi-Fi
access. It has transformed my keyboard into a living
typing-monster and me into a sleepless android
almost rusting to death
Marriage is a sacred ritual. A couple gets married for
love and romance, and the hope of being with
someone for the rest of their lives. Nowadays, this is
clich. Tradition changes and becomes impracticality

Situational [establishing mood and environment]

Quoted [quotations]

Masakit ang tiyan mo. Nakatira sa bundok at malayo

sa mapagpalayang biyayang kalunsuran. Walang
doctor. Walang hospital. At wala kang pera.

Culture is the habit of being pleased with the best

and knowing why- Henry Van Dyke
Most people would rather die than think. Many doBertrand Russel

Youre in an empty classroom, alone. You arrived too

early for your next class. You saw an umbrella on one
of the seats. Its raining outside. You dont have your
own umbrella. What will you do?
Cause-Effect [shows relationship of events]
With the slow yet effective emergence of digital
advancements, various styles and prototypes of
cameras zoomed in and out of fashion
Now that technology has taken its course for as long
as we know, modern modes to get entertained and be
informed have found its way to be informed have
found its way to be more techy and downloadable

Belief [own stand]

I bet, being an elder is an advantage
Im not a miser, Im a wise spender
Probing [questions]
So you really think you have 20/20 vision?
What if you are a sinking ship? Are you going to
depend on your own capabilities and strength to
survive?
Shocker [exclamatory or vulgar]

I had sex with a beach, and yes, it is till virgin

The Earth will soon come to an end and guess what,
it will happen on December 21, 2012. That is what
they say... and I am not simply talking about the
blockbuster flick
Staccato [group of words, cut in lines]
Wi-Fi Spots.
Freedom Walls.
Suggestion Boxes.
English Speaking Zones.
Enrolment lines.
SSC Sponsored concerts.
Year-long intramurals.
Welcome back, dear students
She was sixteen, had a face that launched a thousand
ships.
She was in college, had a bright future ahead of hear.
She got a boyfriend.
She got pregnant.
She does not know what to do

CONTENT

Composite/ Bulleted [subdivided; subtopics]

Narrative [first person of point of view; story
telling]
Interview [verbatim story]
Fusion [fact to fiction to fact]

Fourth Position: Puwetry

Literary Writing
Writing literary pieces is living life.
You can write about anything, anywhere,
anyhow.
In literary writing, it is all about your senses,
spirit, and your heart.
Literary is not limited to poems, essays, short
stories, and scripts... other types may include
letters, typography, picture poems, and the like.

Poetry
In campus journalism, the most common kind of
poetry is FREE VERSE. Other types may include, Haiku,
Tanka, Cinquain, and Sonnets. However, these need
specific kinds of technicalities and expertise [metered,
word-counted, etc]
In writing poems, always consider these cumshots:

Heart
Mind
Spirit
Libido

Short Stories
Creating short stories is a lot different from
creating essays.

Short stories have turning points- the points

where the characters make or break the plot
and answer the readers curiosity.
Consider these cumshots:

Characters
Point of View
Setting
Flow and Phasing
Moral
Tone and Theme

Essays
Unlike short stories, essays do not have turning
points... only realizations.
You write essays to convey your points of view.
Almost similar to writing an opinion/ column.
Essays may have characters and storyline, but
as far as an effective essay is concerned, the
writer can only utilize some elements of a story
to a certain point.
Consider these cumshots:

Relevant Topic.
Knowingness of the writer about the topic being
discussed.
Point of Argument.
Focus of the Essay.
Purpose.

Get tipsy with these tips.

Know the basics. Know your grammar.

Prepositions, know their positions.
Be intelligent. Be average.
If you dont like hardcore, go soft play.
Deception, not only your power... also
your right.
Use your f*cking senses.
Be the king of your emotions.
Make Flowers Bloom, naturally.
If youre not a pro yet, breathe easy.

 Make everyday your training.

Write with your soul, your heart, your
world.

Get the balls for it.

Get dressed.