"If A nation can RISE no higher than its WOMAN, then who RAISES that WOMAN?!

" a l
ittle debate between me and a couple of sisters
January 5, 2010 at 7:11pm
The Following is a response to a very good debate between me and a couple of sis
ters! Because of the topic's importance I decided to address the question and co
mments in a note form. I invite you into the conversation in order to get your i
nput. We are all TRYING to do and be better... but it starts with deliberative d
ialogue! Feel free to re-read all the posts in there entirety on my wall.
lol...very
funny! I had to relocate, my beautiful black sisters, I am a traveling man...so
this comment will actually be posted from a different time zone that the origina
l one was posted. Believe me when I say that nothing has been said by SISTER TANI
SHA that I have not heard before (smile)! Therefore there is no reason why I must
run, for I am not a cowardly LION.
Now...after the thought provoking comment made
by sis Tanisha let me say this...I will answer "who should" teach the black woma
n in a moment. But first I will attack the fundamental flaw of your argument sis
Tanisha. Allow me to post the original question--"If A nation can RISE no higher
than its WOMAN, then who RAISES that WOMAN?! any thoughts on that one?"
Now if you
notice...I have not asked whose to blame for our fall, I have not asked who cau
sed her to fall, and I did not blame her for the fall of our NATION...did I?!! N
OPE I did not...AGAIN...I asked--"If A nation can RISE no higher than its WOMAN,
then who RAISES that WOMAN?! any thoughts on that one?"
You my sister Virginia sa
id Allah (God). NOW at this point of the discussion, is there ANY controversy?...NO,
I dont think so! A seemingly simple question about the Black Woman, has a seeming
ly simple answercorrect? Now, since there are a lot of Muslims and so-called Musl
ims that like to use the word ALLAH, especially in a spooky form. I chose to ADVA
NCE the question to you sister VIRGINIA by making this following statement to yo
ur initial answer. I said who is GOD? and please remember that when the MINISTER sat
the LABORERS down...he instructed us to do two very telling and powerful things
...FIRST: reread and study the 1st FIVE chapters of The Message to the Blackman!
SECOND: He instructed us to memorize the first seven questions and answers of L
OST FOUND MUSLIM LESSON NO. ONE! SoI will ask you...who is GOD?!
Now Sister Virginia
and sis Tanishawas there anything controversial in my comment, or response to si
s Virginia? No, I dont think so? When sis Virginia said that Allah (God) is respo
nsible for teaching the black woman I wanted to hear from the sister what ALLAH G
OD is she talking about! Very simpleright! Of course notWHY?! Because here comes s
ister Tanisha not paying attention to the original question, and finding a chanc
e for her to teach meA BLACKMAN! Now the majority of her post was correctbut sis Tan
isha through me off when she stated this. We are taught that NO MAN is to enter in
to that class and teach the Women the course He/Allah set us on, which was Gene
ral Civilization. Now, I dont know, but I pride myself in the ability to pay attent
ion to words and there meaning! AND I understand what the sister is TRYING to sa
ybut this is the EXACT POINT where the original question is beginning to be graft
ed! NOW follow along sisters because you might be able to get this point if your
desire is NOT to WIN an argumentbut your and OUR desire is to settle on truth an
d understanding!
The Course that He/ALLAH set you, the black woman on is WHAT? It
is the MGT and GCC correct? Of COURSE it is (pun intended lol)! Now.according to o
ur Lessons from which we get our INSTRUCTIONS, you know sister Tanisha, the inst
ructions that we are NOT SUPPOSED to MIX.actually this is what YOU said: It is onl
y when we do not see the value in that which Allah, in the Person of Master Fard
Muhammad brought to place us back on top, that we begin to take on mixed instru
ction, causing the further degeneration of our Nation. SOOOby keeping in mind your o
wn wordslets now ask this QUESTION: What is the meaning of M.G.T. and G.C.C.? ANS
WER: Muslim Girls Training and General Civilization Class. IT CONTINUES: This was
the name given to the Training of women and girls in North Americahow to keep ho
use, how to rear their children, how to take care of their husbands, sew, cook a
nd, in general, how to act at home and abroad.
Now sister These Training Units were
named by our Prophet and Leader of Islam, W.D. FARD. Right? OKAY? NOWin relation
to this special class for the womanyou said THIS: We are taught that NO MAN is to
enter in to that class and teach the Women the course He/Allah set us on, which
was General Civilization. And you completed your thought with the following: The W

omen and Girls of North America must return to the Courses which Master Fard Muh
ammad set up. We must only accept the actual words of the Messenger kept alive t
hrough his Reminder and not lend to any other interpretation of what he brought
as to not be led astray. This is that which will Raise the Woman and in turn the
Nation into its PROPER PLACE
Now sistersthis is what I will show you, follow along
closely! What is the purpose of the MGT AND GCC? According to the ACTUAL WORDS tha
t you sister Tanisha say we should not lend to any other interpretation of what h
e brought as to not be led astray it states that the purpose of the MGT AND GCC is
the Training of women and girls in North Americahow to keep house, how to rear th
eir children, how to take care of their husbands, sew, cook and, in general, how
to act at home and abroad. Sisterisnt it easily apparent that NO man should have the
audacity to try to interfere with that course? Is it not clear that the COURSE
is preparing the WOMAN to be a woman FOR God, a woman OF God? Okay so how in the
world can we as men even think about teaching you how to keep house, how to rear
our children, how to take care of us as your husbands, sew, cook and, in genera
l, how to act at home and abroad; especially, after we as men have been complete
ly destroyed?! SOOOit is THIS COURSE that the MEN should NOT interfere WITH!! The M
GT and GCC COURSE! The COURSE that GOD ALLAH in the person of Master Fard Muhamm
ad set you upon the Blackman should not INTERFERE in that COURSE!! NO WHERE in th
e TEACHINGS does it say that the BLACKMAN CANNOT TEACH his WOMAN! If you are marri
ed to a MANare you TELLING ME, that that MAN is NOT allowed to teach you?! If tha
t is what you are in fact sayingthen how that is interpreted looks like thisNO MAN
CAN TELL (teach) ME WHAT TO DO! And siswhen that is the attitude of the woman she
is then unable to be CONTROLLED! And that would seem to be a major problem with
in the ranks of our NATIONdo you not agree?
But perhaps I misunderstood your wordsOr
perhaps you didnt think about what you stated before hand but lets continue.at any
time if it gets too hot...you can always push delete...and puffIll be gone! Lol NOW
in response to your initial comment sis Tanisha Bro. Khalil Malik said: @Sister Ta
nisha very well said. And then TANISHA said: @Brother Khalil, APIDTA! AND then SIST
ER VIRGINIA STATED THE FOLLOWING: Excellent response Sister Tanisha...Allah in the
person of Master Fard Muhammad. Let s not get it twisted. There is a God living
among us who has all the wisdom of the previous Gods in person and who has contr
ol over the forces of nature. It s true Bro Khalil that we are gods, but we are
gods, children of the Most High. When we are tuning our frequency into the Supre
me Being, He allows us access to the power in which He created us. When the wome
n is submitting to Allah, she gains access into that power that allows her to li
nk with the vibratory frequency of the man where she does not even need to tell
him to raise up because he would do so automatically by his very nature of being
a god. The woman will know how to give birth to this god
Now in the case of both s
is Tanisha and sis VirginiaI agree with brother KHALIL when he said: : @Sister Tan
isha very well said. YESSSS.it is very WELL SAID. BUT is what they SAID the TRUTH??
Perhaps if one is not a true student of The Most Honorable Elijah Muhammad they
would simply be swayed by sounding corrector very NEAR CORRECT but the question i
sDoes what is stated WELL, translate as the TRUTH? If you have the courage, lets
advance and FIND OUT! NOW TANISHA SAID: We must only accept the actual words of the
Messenger kept alive through his Reminder and not lend to any other interpretat
ion of what he brought as to not be led astray. BUT she failed to confront sis Vir
ginia when she blatantly misrepresented what the MESSENGER teaches, maybe becaus
e it is her sister, or maybe it is because she doesnt know what HE teaches like s
he think she does!
Before I prove my point, allow me to say this? What sister Virg
inia stated sounded pretty dang goodbut my question is thisWHERE did SHE get that
from? Because here is A PROBLEM if she is being taught that in her class (MGT and
GCC), then those teachings do not fit within the stated purpose of THAT PARTICU
LAR CLASS! The class is to do WHAT? how to keep house, how to rear their children
, how to take care of their husbands, sew, cook and, in general, how to act at h
ome and abroad. Now is what sis Virginia stated above being taught in her class?
AND IF SOdoes that mean the class has taken on mixed instructions? REMEMBER: this i
s what sis Tanisha said: It is only when we do not see the value in that which Al
lah, in the Person of Master Fard Muhammad brought to place us back on top, that
we begin to take on mixed instruction, causing the further degeneration of our

Nation. NOW if that misrepresentation of the TEACHINGS that sis Virginia Just did
is being taught within the class, then we have a serious problem. AND if a stud
ent of The Most Honorable Elijah Muhammad and Farrakhan cannot correct and teach
the woman...then that problem will be further exacerbatedremember the course tha
t we ARE NOT to interfere with is this how to keep house, how to rear their child
ren, how to take care of their husbands, sew, cook and, in general, how to act a
t home and abroad.. the Blackman has NEVER been told by the MESSENGER OR THE MINIS
TER NOT TO TEACH HIS WOMAN, or the BLACK WOMAN in general. To claim such is a LIE
and MISREPRESENTATION of MASTER FARD MUHAMMAD! If what you claim is true why ar
e the men told to RULE OVER his woman with WISDOM?!
Now back to sis VIRGINIA: When
has the Messenger stated that the black man is gods(little g), children of the M
OST HIGH GOD (big G)? HE NEVER SAID THATso to claim that is to claim something th
at the MESSENGER NEVER SAID! NOWthe MINISTER has said that but if you understand a
nd recognize the context of when he uses that expression you would see that he u
tilizes that term when addressing and audience that is comprised heavily of Chri
stians and NON students of The MOST HONORABLE ELIJAH MUHAMMAD! He uses the bibli
cal reference in a way to show those who believe in a SPOOK GOD, that GOD is in
fact a MANdid you here meA MANNOT A SPIRIT or SPOOK! BUT just as recently the MINISTER
told US that the CHILDREN are OUR oppressors, and those children are not necessar
ily our actual children.but are the CHILDREN of the BLACKMAN and WOMANthe white ma
n! The gods, children of the MOST HIGH GOD reference is about the white folks th
at are little gods of their world and if you complete the verse that you choose t
o quote, you would see the eventual fate of those little gods (gs), they will DIE
like what? Like MEN! White people are gods, children of the Most High Godthe Son
of Man, the Supreme Being, the Black man of Asia!
It would seem as if many Muslim
s are trying to CHRISTIANIZE Islam(a point that sis Tanisha made beautifully) sis
Virginia this is why when I asked you WHO IS GOD ALLAH, I told you to consider
that the MINISTER told us to RE-READ the first 5 chapters of the Message to the
Blackman! Never does that little g mess come from the Messenger of GODand what is
the motivation behind trying to introduce that mess into referring to US, the r
eal GODs of the UNIVERSE! Now, of course we like to point to MASTER FARD MUHAMMAD
as GOD, and HE IS.HE is the WISEST of US all! BUT WE the Blackman of AMERICA are
still GODs not with a lil Gbut the BIG ONE! This is what the MESSENGER says and TAN
ISHA, lets make sure that We must only accept the actual words of the Messenger k
ept alive through his Reminder and not lend to any other interpretation of what
he brought as to not be led astray. I only want to tell you the truth of Self. If yo
u are Black, why do you want to be white when white people came after Black? If
you are Black, I say and repeat, you produced white! There was no white nor ligh
t before you. You produced both of them, light and white. You are natural - born
and part of that in which you were created. You are the only man who needed lig
ht to light up Your Universe. You brought forth light. You are walking around lo
oking for a God to bow to and worship. You Are the God! THEM
DID HE say godOR GOD?!
T
k over these things. The Black man, think over that, made so blind, deaf, and du
mb in Africa and America that he seeks now white. He doesn t like his color. Why
? Because the white man doesn t like it. He doesn t like that, he (the Black man
) should have that color because that color will live forever. Praises be to All
ah. I think the white man is wise. You are here today to learn in what direction
you should turn to seek God -- look at yourself! Look at yourself. You certainl
y don t know yourself. But He who has been born to bring you out of darkness now
into the marvelous light of wisdom and understanding of yourself and your kind
( the Black man s kind) knows and understands. THEM When we seek God do we look any
where other than SELF? AND once AGAIN did HE say god.or God?! AND sister Tanisha,
should we interpret thisor make sure that We must only accept the actual words of
the Messenger kept alive through his Reminder and not lend to any other interpr
etation of what he brought as to not be led astray.
I hope your not boredlets contin
ue! Now watch how this happens sisters The Minister has said that WE DONT WORSHIP Ma
ster Fard Muhammad right?! Come on, did He say it or not? Also, he has stated th
at Master Fard Muhammads Birthday is February 26, 1877correct! So therefore we rea
lize that HE (Master Fard Muhammad) is NOT the originator of the Heavens and ear
thcorrect! But we WORSHIP the ALLAH that is in MASTER FARD MUHAMMAD correct? Okayi

s that ALLAH that is IN Master Fard Muhammad a spirit or mysteryor what is it? If
ALLAH is a SPIRIT, and we are to worship ALLAHthen that means we are worshiping
a SPIRITright!? In other words, when Master Fard Muhammad has died in a physical
formwhat will be left!? Do you say ALLAHokay, then what is that ALLAH? Is it a spi
rit?!! And if it is, are the MUSLIM students of The Most Honorable Elijah Muhamm
ad taught to worship a SPIRIT (ALLAH)? EMPHATICALLY NO! AND should we bow to a G
OD that was BORN in 1877?! Well yes and NO!
Should we bow to a God that was just bo
rn 6,000 years ago? Six-thousand years ago? Take that from our deportation from
the Moon 66 trillion years ago. Just deduct now, 6,000 from 66 trillion, not 66
thousand, but trillions! We re not talking in any thousands. We are not talking
into millions nor billions, but trillions! If you don t mind, I will preach. I d
on t know anything but preach. God has made me a preacher. THEM
Now if we are not su
pposed to bow to a God that was born 6,000 years ago how can we bow to a God that
was born 133 years ago?! AND how can we BOW to Master Fard Muhammad.? Because we
are not, we are bowing to that which is IN Master Fard Muhammad, and what is IN
Master Fard Muhammad is Allah! But what IS that ALLAH?!! This is the question t
hat I simply asked Sis Virginia before sister Tanisha began to graft the origina
l question! Look at what the Messenger says in Message to the Blackman:
You are decei
ved in the knowledge of your God. If your God were a mystery, you and I would be
a mystery people. If He were a Spirit and not a man, we would all be spirits an
d not human beings. THEM
Now since we know that we dont bow to Master Fard Muhammads F
lesh, and WE know that WE DO bow down to ALLAH, and ALLAH alone; what is that AL
LAHsince it is not a spirit or mystery? AND if WE say that ALLAH is a MAN then wha
t is MAN!? Do you follow the question? MAN is GOD, and GOD is ALLAH!! So what IS
ALLAH! And WHAT is the MAN that we BOW to sisters?!
The Messenger says this: God is
a man and we just cannot make Him other than man, lest we make Him an inferior o
ne; for mans intelligence has no equal in other than man. His wisdom is infinite;
capable of accomplishing anything that His brain can conceive. THEM
Now this is whe
re we get into the identity of ALLAH! And PAUL said: Let this MIND be in you, the
same MIND that was in CHRIST JESUS! Mans infinite intelligence stems from His Mind i
t is the MIND, or mans intelligence that defines Him Master Fard Muhammad has a Ma
ns Body, and a Mans Mind! But that Mind is the ORIGINAL MIND (MAN). Therefore His
MIND is in fact the ALLAH that WE worshipor submit to! Why cant we worship his bo
dybecause His body is not Original its a made body, and it is comprised of the sin
ful flesh, the grafted flesh! Is this too much for you?! Now to make it CLEARALLA
H is MIND...so its is the MIND that we bow down to, and that MIND is COMPRISED o
f PURE MATHEMATICS! SO the only thing that the BLACKMAN has to SUBMIT to IS MATH
EMATICS. And the Black woman is MADEnot created, but MADE to SUBMIT to the Blackma
n! Once the Blackman aquires the MIND of GOD... HE will only have to bow down to
and worship HIS SELF! Once He finds his RIGHT mind HE FINDS ALLAH in HIMSELF! D
o you disagree? Now once the black MAN submits His MIND, to the Perfect Mind, then
that Blackman is allowed to be worshipped! Yes sister worshipped and when I say
worship, I aint talking about what the devil teaches us about worship! WORSHIP i
s simply how we act and react to GOD, or how we perform OUR DUTY to GODwhich rega
rdless if you like it or not sisters is the BLACKMAN!
Look at this Sister Virginia
, this is why I take exception with that children of the Most High stuff!
We just f
old up our own arms, and sit down, and wait for Time. Allah said, "They just wai
ted They re so glad that the day has come now that they can show you now that th
e Black man is God!"
This is a day and time that you should know God. There are two
on the scene at the present time: An evil God and a good God. When we say "Alla
h," that Name means God and covers all Muslims. All Muslims are Allahs, but we c
all the Supreme Allah the Supreme Being. And He has a Name of His Own. This Name
is "Fard Muhammad." THEM
"Fard" is a Name meaning an independent One and One Who i
s not on the level with the average Gods (Allahs). It is a Name independent to i
tself which actually means One whom we must obey, or else He destroys us. This h
onorable, Majestic, Person comes in the last day. The reason why we call Him the
Supreme Being is because He is Supreme over all beings and or is wiser than all
. The Holy Qur an teaches: He is wiser than them, meaning all the Gods before an
d all who are now present. THEM
Remember, Allah means Gods. Many Muslims go in this
Name. All Muslims go in the Divine Supreme Being of Names from Him. The meaning

of these Names are Himself. THEM

Now sisters you are absolutely made to worship the
BlackmanRemember, we dont worship Master Fard MuhammadWE OBEY HIMlook at the definit
ion and see the difference! And we are TOLD by HIM to worship the BLACKMAN who i
s ALLAH! Now sister are you made or createdand is there a difference! AND in siste
r Virginias post, she even said this:
It s true Bro Khalil that we are gods, but we
are gods, children of the Most High.
First of all sister Virginia NO WHERE in the T
EACHINGS of Master Fard Muhammad does HE teach US that the black woman is god or
A GOD! PERIOD point blank! Check out the Messenger:
"The woman is man s heaven"
"He w
anted a different human being than Himself, so He studied Himself. He made a wom
an by studying Himself. He made a woman secondly so this would solve His problem
of a search for another man."
"A mother by nature loves and admires her son becau
se by nature she was made to honor and worship man" Now Lets deal with this!
This was
my Original post!
--"If A nation can RISE no higher than its WOMAN, then who RAIS
ES that WOMAN?! any thoughts on that one?"
And here is MY ANSWER: On page 59 of The
Message to the Blackman there is a CHAPTER called WHAT?!
PROTECT AND ELEVATE YOUR
WOMAN The Messenger says:
Allah, Himself, has said that we cannot return to our land
until we have a thorough knowledge of our own selves. The first step is the cont
rol and protection of our own women. LISTEN: The FIRST step to have a thorough know
ledge of our own selves is the control and protection of the femalecorrect!? Now do
es not ELEVATE mean raise.so who will raise the BLACKWOMAN?! The ANSWER: THE ONLY
ANSWER IS THE BLACKMAN!! The Nation can RISE no HIGHER than its woman! The Nation
is LOWWHY? Because the Blackman has not STOOD up and LIFTED HIS WOMAN UP!
Sisterthi
s has absolutely nothing to do with your SEVEN UNITSand the original purpose of t
he MGT and GCC class. So what you did sister Tanishais you ignored my question, s
o that you could have an opportunity to teach me! That is why you never really a
nswered the question.sister Virginia came closer, but she allowed you to come in
and change the focus. And in doing so you both began to READ into my statements
with your own perception, a perception that was absolutely wrong! THE BLACKMAN i
s warned to STAY out of your CLASS! HE is NEVER told NOT to TEACH YOU! Now.if you
have a man that is unworthy to teach you.then you should get a better man. But d
ont give me the ALLAH is my teacher stuff as if ALLAH is NOT the BLACKMAN! Now WHEN
you focusand I MEAN FOCUS!! On what THE MESSENGER has TOLD you to do in terms of
YOUR MAN.you will then begin to SEE the RESULTS you want! Thats why 75% of the wo
rk is with youbecause once you begin to be you, then HE WILL be ABLE to be himsel
f! It is YOUR nature to worship your man and this is what that worship looks like
! AND this is the basic instructions that are contained within your seven units!
TEND to your MANand watch what happens! The REASON why the Blackman has been destr
oyed THROUGH the Blackwoman...is because the BLACKWOMAN has been taken from her
NATURE, and when that happens the CONTRARY Bahaviours that SHE demonstrates cont
radicts the Blackman s NATURE...and subsequently runs him off! Because the black
woman has been made other than self...then her ways and actions absolutley place
s him in HELL! When this happens....the Blackman runs from HELL, the blackwoman!
In search for peace anywhere he can find it! The problem is simple though.... t
he ONLY peace or HEAVEN that ever EXISTED or EXISTS...is the blackwoman that he
is running from! So what does this MEAN.... it means instead of being worried ab
out the MAN...hurry up and Master YOUR SEVIN UNITS, Learn who GOD is...and WHEN
HE comes SEARCHING for YOU...you will be able to give him the HEAVEN that HE SEE
KS! AND REMEMBER what the MESSENGER SAID ABOUT HEAVEN... "Heaven is not a place
to rest from labor, it is a starting point."
AND the BLACKMAN ABSOLUTELY needs to
get his act together if we are to DESERVE the worship of the BLACK WOMAN, for sh
e was forced from her nature because the blackman failed to protect her from the
whiteman...but remember, this was written...the blackman had to be put to sleep
so that the white man could rule! But now is the time for HIS rise! AND you can
tell he has RISEN when the sisters ALLOW themselves to be LIFTED UP...by who, H
IM, the Son of MAN, the Supreme Being, the Blackman of ASIA!
"The greatest heaven
that you enter into one believing is peace of mind and contentment" "Above all man
s habits peace is the most satisfying of his life."
HOW TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR HUSB
AND : Words from the Messenger!
THIS IS WHAT THE WORSHIP OF THE BLACKMAN LOOKS LIK
E! HOW TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR HUSBAND ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "A wife s mind should be to console her husband

s mind. "
"She is to do something in the way of making you feel good to go out tom
orrow to work. Otherwise, man is outside looking for peace of mind."
"No man wants
a woman home arguing with him. " "Be civilized in asking and telling. "
"Woman must
always submit and recognize man as the head." "The worst hell is an icy spirit be
tween husband and wife in a home where there is no peace, no love. "
"As long as s
he followed this Divine Law, everything she laid her hands to, He made it prospe
r" Words of Messenger Elijah Muhammad
------------------------------------------------------------------------------- COMFORT HIM
The burdens of life weigh heavily upon
the shoulders of men since they are responsible for maintaining and supporting
their families. In fulfilling this responsibility, the man of the household must
confront many problems and obstacles outside of the home. Some of these problem
s may be the pressures of work, the hassles of traffic and commuting from work t
o home, concerns over the issues of the day, and the pressures of trying to impr
ove the living conditions of his family. The amount of pressure upon a responsib
le man is enormous. It is no wonder that the average lifespan of a man is less t
han the woman.
In order for the husband to be able to cope with the burdens of lif
e it is necessary to have someone to listen to and sympathize with him. He may f
eel alone and in need of finding refuge and comfort amidst these pressures. It i
s natural that the man looks towards his wife and family as a source of comfort
and relief. Therefore, anticipate his expectations and needs. Be cordial and war
m when he first returns home after working and have refreshments or let him feel
that you are at his disposal to care for his needs. Try not to overwhelm him wi
th criticizing him the minute you see him. Let him rest and recover his strength
before putting up the demands of the family s personal issues.
When your husband
comes home, have a smile and a warm greeting for him. Attend to his physical nee
ds of fatigue, hunger, and thirst. Then ask him about his problems. If he is wil
ling to talk, be a good listener and sympathize with him. Try to express your ge
nuine concern and then help him realize that the problems are not as impossible
and huge as might think. Give him encouragements of support to help him cope wit
h the issues. You can say something like this: These problems are being faced by
many people. With a strong will-power and patience, it is possible to overcome
the difficulties as long as one does not let the problems get the better of you.
These problems, as a matter of fact, are tests as well as builders of the true
character of a person. Do not despair. You can solve them through determination
and perseverance. At times of difficulty, your husband is in need of your attentio
n and love. You should come to his aid and nurse him. Do not underestimate your
ability to soothe and strengthen him. There is no one more devoted and concerned
over your husband s well-being other than yourself. He would be able to draw st
rength from your devotions to him and cope with his problems which will relieve
his emotional and mental pressures. Consequently, the mutual bond of respect and
love would also be greater which can only lead towards strengthening your marit
al relationship.
APPRECIATE HIM
Your husband, like everyone else, enjoys being apprec
iated. He is willing to support his family and regards it as a moral and lawful
obligation. When he is thanked and appreciated for doing his duty, those duties
no longer seem to be a burden. Whenever he buys home appliances or something like
clothes and shoes for you and the children, be happy and thank him. Show your gr
atitude for the trivial things he does such as buying groceries, taking the fami
ly on trips and gives you your allowance. By showing your appreciation, you will
make your husband feel good and rewarded for the trouble he has taken. Be caref
ul that you do not take his duties for granted and become indifferent towards hi
s contributions to the family. He may become disheartened about the welfare of t
he family. He may prefer to spend his money elsewhere or on himself.
If a friend o
r relative presented you with a pair of stockings or a bunch of flowers, you wou
ld thank them repeatedly. So it is only natural and fair to show appreciation to
your husband for his consideration and thoughtfulness. Do not think that you wo
uld be belittling yourself by demonstrating your appreciation. On the contrary,
you would be loved and cared for more because you appreciate the efforts of your
husband whereas snobbism and selfishness can only lead towards great misfortune
s.
FORGIVE HIM
A husband and a wife need to be able to forgive each other. If the mem
bers of a family are unforgiving and pursue each other s mistakes, then either t

he family will separate or they will experience an unbearable life.

Your husband p
robably makes mistakes. He may insult you, abuse you, tell lies, he might even h
it you. Such acts might be committed by any man. If your husband, after making a
mistake, regrets it or you feel he is regretful himself for his misconduct, the
n forgive him and do not pursue the matter. If he is regretful but not prepared
to express his apologies, then do not try to prove his mistake. Otherwise, he mi
ght feel humiliated and he may retaliate by picking out your mistakes and conseq
uently start a on-going battle of unforgiveness. So it is better for you to rema
in silent until he condemns himself from his conscience and starts to feel remor
se about it. He would then regard you as wise and devoted wife who is interested
in her husband and family.
RESPECT HIM
Your husband is in contact with many people d
uring the day while away from home. Some may be impolite and insulting to him. A
s his wife, he expects you to show respect and encouragement at home and thereby
boost his trampled ego. When he comes home, greet him with a smile and a happy
expression. To honor and respect your husband does not belittle you, but it provid
es energy and inclination to struggle to make a better life. Be courteous and po
lite when you are talking to him and do not shout at him. Do not interrupt him w
hen he is talking. Praise him in front of others. Make your children respect him
and chastise them if they are discourteous towards him. Be respectful of him in
front of guests and be attentive to his needs, as well as the guests. This smal
l act of happiness has such an effect that it refreshes the man s tired spirits.
Be careful not to humiliate him, do not talk to him harshly, do not abuse him, do
not be inattentive to him, and do not call him by any obscene titles. If you of
fend him, he, in turn, will insult you. Eventually, the spirit of love and trust
will erode. Consequently, you will have constant quarrels and arguments which m
ay lead to a divorce.
BE CLEAN AND BEAUTIFUL
It is customary with most women that wh
enever they go to a party or a gathering, they wear their best dresses and adorn
themselves with the best. However, upon returning home, they take their dresses
off and put on an old and shabby dress. These women are not particular about cl
eanliness at home and do not beautify themselves. They walk around the house wit
h disheveled hair, stained clothes, and torn socks. In fact, the situation must
almost be reverse, that is, a woman should adorn herself at home and charm her h
usband in order to conquer his heart and in order not to leave any gap for other
women to fill. Winning the heart of a man, especially for a long time, is not eas
y. Do not think: "He loves me. I don t need to look beautiful for him or try to
win his heart or entice him." You must always maintain his love towards yourself
. Be sure that your husband would enjoy having a tidy beautiful, and clean wife,
even though he may not express it. If you do not satisfy his inner desires and
do not dress attractively at home, he may see beautiful and attractive women out
of the house. He may then become disheartened in you and might deviate from the
right path. When he sees attractive women, he compares you with them. If you ar
e an untidy, careless, and disheveled woman, do you think he will be attracted t
o you? So try to look attractive at home and be sure that he will not lose inter
est in you.
THINK OF NO OTHER MAN
Do not think of any men except your husband and fi
nd peace with him. If you do otherwise you will place yourself in a strained con
dition. Now that you have agreed to live with your husband, why should you be co
nstantly noticing other man? Why should you compare him with others? What do you
achieve by looking at other men except putting yourself in a permanently misera
ble state and cause mental anguish for yourself? Do not make compliments for oth
er men. Do not think of any man other than your husband. Do not think to yoursel
f: "I wish I had married so and so;" "I wish my husband looked like...;" "I wish
my husband s job was...;" "I wish...," "I wish..." "I wish..." Why should you i
mprison yourself with these thoughts? Why should you upset the foundations of yo
ur marriage? If any of those wishes had come true, how would you know that you w
ould have been more satisfied? Are you sure that the wives of those so-called "f
aultless" men are satisfied with them? If your husband suspects that you show in
terest in other men, he would be disheartened and would lose interest in you. Yo
u must not cut jokes with other men or keep company with them. Men are so sensit
ive that they cannot even tolerate their wives to show an interest in a picture
of another man.
BE WISE IN DEALING WITH IN-LAWS
One of the problems of family life is

the one cause between the wife and her husband s relatives. Some women do not h
ave a good relationship with their husband s mother, sisters, or brothers. On th
e one hand the wife may try to dominate her husband so that he would not be able
to pay any attention even to his mother, or any other relatives and she may try
to sow discord between them. On the other hand, her mother-in-law regards herse
lf as the owner of her son and daughter-in-law. The mother tries hard to hold on
to her son and is watchful that the new woman does not try to possess him fully
. She may fabricate lies about her daughter-in-law or find fault in her. Such an
attitude might be followed by many arguments and even occasional hostilities. T
he situation becomes even worse if they all live in the same house. Even though
a problem may occur between two women, the real anguish and distress remains wit
h the man in the middle.
The husband is trapped in an argument where he cannot tak
e sides. On the one hand is his wife who would like to have an independent life
without any interference from outsiders. He naturally feels that he must support
her and make her happy. But on the other hand, he thinks of his parents who hav
e helped him with his life, education, and have spent their own lives in bringin
g him up. He feels that his parents expect him to help them in their times of ne
ed and that it would not be fair to abandon them. Besides, if he himself was in
need of something, who else, other than his parents, would help him and his fami
ly. As a result, he realizes that his best and most trustworthy friends are his
parents and relatives. So, the dilemma for a sensible man is either to choose th
e wife and abandon the parents or vice versa; but neither of these is possible. Co
nsequently, he has to cope with both sides and keep them satisfied which, itself
, is a difficult task. The only possible way to ease the situation is that the w
ife should be loyal and wise. A man in this situation expects his wife to help s
olve the problem. If the wife respects her mother-in-law, seeks advice from her, a
nd becomes obedient and friendly with her, then the mother-in-law will be her gr
eatest supporter .
For the sake of your husband and for the sake of your own comfo
rt as well as to find many good friends and supporters, put up with your husband
s relatives. Do not be selfish and ignorant; be wise and do not cause your husb
and any distress. Be a good and devoted wife in order to be accepted by both All
ah and the people.
DON T LOOK FOR SHORTCOMINGS
It is the hope of every man and woman
to find a spouse who is perfect but such hopes are unrealistic. It is unlikely t
o find a woman who regards her husband as perfect.
Those women who are in search o
f faults in their husbands will undoubtedly find them. They would find a trivial
shortcoming and exaggerate it by harping on the matter to the point that it bec
omes an unbearable impediment. This defect then replaces all the merits of the h
usband. They always compare their husbands with other men. They have established
a so-called ideal man in their imaginations whose standards do not fit in their
husbands. Therefore, they are always complaining about the shortcomings in thei
r marriage. The women regard themselves as unfortunates and failures which gradu
ally turn them into spiteful women. What does such behaviour in a woman do to her
husband? He may be a very patient person who can tolerate he rudeness but most l
ikely he will become insulted and develop a grudge against her. This would likel
y lead towards mutual arguments and elaborations of the shortcomings in each oth
er. They will both become contemptuous of each other and their life will turn in
to a series of arguments. Thus, they will either live in misery together or go f
or a divorce. In either case, both will lose, especially when there is no guaran
tee that another marriage may prove otherwise.
Your husband is a human being like
you. He is not perfect, but he may have many merits. If you are interested in yo
ur marriage and your family then do not set out to find his weaknesses. Do not r
egard his small defects as important. Do not compare him with an ideal man whom
you have established in your mind. There may be some faults with your husband wh
ich are not present in others. But you should remember that other men may have o
ther defects which are non-existent in yours. Be satisfied with his merits. You
will consequently see that his merits outweigh his faults. Besides why should yo
u expect a perfect husband when you are imperfect yourself. Be wise? Stop being fr
ivolous! Ignore the faults and do not mention them in front of or behind your hu
sband. Try to create a warm atmosphere in your family and enjoy the blessings of
Allah. However, there may be flaws in your husband s character which you may be

able to correct. If so, then you can succeed only by behaving considerately and
with patience. You must not criticize him, but approach him in a friendly manne
r.
The task of a wife is to maintain and take care of a husband. It is not an easy
undertaking. Those women who are unaware of this feature of their role, may find
difficulty in fulfilling the task. It is a job for the woman who is aware that
the job requires a degree of sagacity, style, and ingenuity. For a woman to be a
successful wife, she should win over her husband s heart and be a source of com
fort to him. She should encourage him to do good deeds while dissuading him from
bad ones. She should also provide adequate measures to maintain his health and
well-being. The results of her efforts are directed towards making the man into
a kind and respected husband who would be a proper guardian for his family, and
a good father from whom the children would seek guidance and respect. Allah, the
All-Knowing has endowed woman with extraordinary power. The prosperity and happ
iness as well as the misery of the family are in her hands.
DON T BE SUSPICIOUS
It is
not wrong if a woman is watchful of her husband, but only if it does not exceed
to a state of suspicion and mistrust.
A woman of suspicion imagines that her husb
and is, disloyal to her. She suspects him of having an affair with another woman
. She loses trust in him because he comes home late or he was seen talking to a
woman. If he helps a widow and her children, the wife may think that he has an i
nterest in her, other than a charitable one. If any woman gives her husband a co
mpliment, saying that he is handsome or well-mannered, she concludes that he is
interested in that woman. Upon finding a strand of hair in his car, she thinks t
here is another woman in his life. Such women with these thoughts and inconclusive
proof gradually assume certainty regarding their husbands unfaithfulness. They
think about it every day and night. They also tell others, friends and foes abo
ut it, who, in the name of sympathy, reinforce the allegations and in turn tell
the concerned women about other unfaithful men.
Arguments result. Then the woman b
egins to ignore the affairs of the house and the children and might even go to h
er parents. She would monitor him and search his pockets. She would read his let
ters and would explain any trivial matter as due to his unfaithfulness.
With this
attitude, she would make the family s life hard and turn the house into a burnin
g hell in which she would also suffer. If her husband brought proof of his innoc
ence, or swore that he had not been committing any thing wrong, she would not be
satisfied. The family atmosphere changes into an environment of pessimism, susp
icion, and constant arguing. The children would suffer and the mental effects ar
e grave.
HELP HIM AVOID PITFALLS
Wise and experienced men know both their friends and
their foes. However, there are men who are simple; they can easily be deceived
and would easily be influenced by others.
There are people who are impostors and a
re lying in wait for simple men. The impostor, though pretending to be a good-do
er, traps the man and draws him towards corruption. The simple man may not reali
ze his situation for a while, but one day he wakes up and finds himself deep in
a trap from which there is not any escape.
If you look around yourself, you see te
ns of such unfortunate people. Perhaps none of them intended to fall in the trap
or become corrupt, but through their own simplicity, ignorance, and unthoughtfu
lness, they are now preyed upon by the corrupt in society.
On this account, the si
mple men need to be taken care of. A wise and watchful wife would would monitor
her husband s activities and watch his associates indirectly without his knowled
ge, remembering not to directly interfere with the affairs of her husband, or to
tell them the "do s" and the "don ts". The reason for this is because men mostl
y do not like to be treated as tool in the hands of others; otherwise they may r
eact sharply. Some men, some times, come back home later than usual. If this is th
e case and the number of the late arrivals to home are within an acceptable limi
t, then there is no need to worry, because men are sometimes engaged in certain
unexpected events which they try to pursue after their work. However, if the num
ber of late arrivals exceeds the accepted limit, then his wife should make an ef
fort to investigate. But investigation is not easy; it requires patience and wis
dom; one must avoid anger or protest. The wife should first of all talk to him s
oftly and kindly. She should ask him why he came home later than the day before
and where he had been. She should pursue the matter wisely and patiently at diff
erent times and on different occasions. If she finds out that he comes back home

late because of his work or attends scientific, religious, and moral meetings,
then she should leave him alone. If she feels that he has found a new friend, sh
e should find out who he is. If his new friend is a well-mannered person with a
clean record, then she should not worry. It is even recommended that she encoura
ges him in his new friendship, because a good friend is a great blessing.
If you f
eel that your husband is going astray or that he associated with corrupt and unw
orthy people, then you should stop him immediately. A woman in this situation ha
s a great responsibility. The slightest mishandling of the situation, through ca
relessness. may shatter their family life. This is a situation where the wisdom
and cleverness of some women can become useful and apparent. One should remember
that arguments are not the solution and they may result in the exact opposite.
A woman, who experiences this event, has two tasks to achieve:
First she should as
sess the situation at home; and should examine herself and her attitude. She mus
t find out the reason for her husband s behavior. She should fairly judge why he
has grown cold towards his family and gone astray. She may find that her own at
titude had been the cause; or perhaps she had been indifferent to his desires fo
r food, her looks or the affairs of the house. Such matters draw men away from h
ome. They may then pursue outside deviant activities in order to forget their pr
oblems. Secondly, she should show him as much kindness as possible. She should adv
ise him and remind him of the grim consequences of his deeds. She should even cr
y and beg him to give up his bad companions. She must say to him: "I love you fr
om the bottom of my heart. I am proud of you. I prefer you to all things and I a
m ready to devote myself to you. But I am saddened by one thing; why should a ma
n, like you, have these kinds of friends; or attend that kind of a party? Such d
eeds are not suitable for you. Please give them up". The wife must continue this
attitude until she conquers the heart of her husband. It is possible that the h
usband is used to unworthy habits and that he would not be influenced easily, bu
t the wife should not become disappointed. She should pursue her goal with great
er strength and patience.
Women have great power and influence over men. She is ab
le to do whatever she wills if she puts her mind to it. If a woman decides to he
lp save her husband from the filth of corruption, she can do it, provided she ac
ts wisely.
Much Much More To Come