10 Communication Secrets of Great Leaders

4/24/2015
10CommunicationSecretsofGreatLeaders
Dr.TravisBradberry
CoauthorEmotionalIntelligence2.0&Presidentat
TalentSmart
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10CommunicationSecretsofGreat
Leaders
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Nooneeverbecameagreatleaderwithoutfirstbecomingagreatcommunicator.
Greatleadersconnectwithpeopleonanemotionalleveleverytimetheyspeak.
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/10communicationsecretsgreatleadersdrtravisbradberry
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Theirwordsinspireotherstoachievemorethantheyeverthoughtpossible.
Greatcommunicatorsareintentionalaboutit,andthereare10secretstheyrelyon
todeliverapowerfulmessage.Putthesesecretstoworkinyourcommunication
andwatchyourinfluencesoar.
1.TheyKnowTheirAudience
Greatcommunicatorsdontworryaboutsoundingimportant,showingofftheir
expertise,orboostingtheirownegos.Instead,theythinkaboutwhatpeopleneed
tohear,andhowtheycandeliverthismessagesothatpeoplewillbeabletohear
it.Thisdoesntmeanthatleaderstellpeoplewhattheywanttohear.Quitethe
opposite
theytellpeoplewhatsimportantforthemtoknow,evenifitsbadnews.
2.TheyAreExpertsInBodyLanguage
Greatcommunicatorsareconstantlytrackingpeoplesreactionstotheirmessage.
Theyarequicktopickuponcueslikefacialexpressionsandbodylanguage
becausetheyknowthisistheonlyfeedbackmanypeoplewillgivethem.Great
communicatorsusethisexpertisetotailortheirmessageontheflyandadjusttheir
communicationstyleasneeded.
3.TheyAreHonest
Thebestleadersknowthatforcommunicationtobeeffectiveithastobereal.They
canthavepeopleparsingeverywordtryingtoseparatefactfromspin.Whengreat
communicatorscantsharecertaininformation,theycomerightoutandsayit
becausemakeshift,halftruthanswersbreeddistrustandanxiety.Ingoodtimes
andbad,honestybuildstrust.
4.TheyAreAuthentic
Greatcommunicatorsdonttrytobesomeonetheyrenotjustbecausetheyve
steppedbehindapodium.TheresareasonMarkZuckerbergpresentedFacebook
toinvestorsinahoodieandjeans.Greatleadersknowthatwhentheystaytrueto
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whotheyare,peoplegravitatetotheirmessage.Theyalsoknowtheopposite
happenswhenleadersputonanact.
5.TheySpeakWithAuthority
Greatcommunicatorsdonttrytocovertheirbacksbybeingambiguous,wishy
washy,orunassertive.Instead,theysticktheirnecksoutandspeakverydirectly
abouthowthingsareandhowtheyneedtobe.
6.TheySpeakToGroupsAsIndividuals
Leadersrarelyhavetheluxuryofspeakingtoonepersonatatime.Whetheritsa
huddlearoundaconferencetableoranoverflowingauditorium,greatleadersknow
howtoworktheroomandmakeeverysinglepersonfeelasifheorsheisbeing
spokentodirectly.
7.TheyHaveEars(AndTheyUseThem)
Greatleadersknowthatcommunicationisatwowaystreetandwhattheyhearis
oftenmoreimportantthanwhattheysay.Whensomeoneelseisspeaking,great
communicatorsarentthinkingaheadandplanningwhattheyllsaynext.Instead,
theyreactivelylistening,fullyfocusedonunderstandingtheotherpersons
perspective.
8.TheyUsePhrasesLikeItsMyFault,IWasWrong,andImSorry
Whengreatleadersmakeamistake,theyadmititrightaway.Theydontwaitfor
someoneelsetofindandpointouttheirblunder.Theymodelaccountabilityfortheir
wordsandactions,evenwhentheycouldhaveeasilygottenawaywiththe
mistake.Andtheydoitmatteroffactly,withoutdramaorfalsehumility.
9.TheySolicitFeedback
Thebestcommunicatorsneverassumethatthemessagepeopleheardistheexact
sameonetheyintendedtodeliver.Theycheckintoverifythattheirmessagewas
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understoodcorrectly,and,ifitwasnot,theydontblametheaudience.Instead,they
changethingsupandtryagain.
10.TheyreProactive
Leaderswiththebestcommunicationskillsdontwastetimeplayingcatchup.
Theyrequicktoheadofftherumormillbysharingbadnewsinatimelymanner.
Theyalsogiveclear,concisegoalsanddirectionssopeopledontwastetheirtime
headinginthewrongdirection.
BringingItAllTogether
Greatcommunicatorsstandoutfromthecrowd.Theyrehonest.Theyreauthentic.
Theylisten.Theyexcelincommunicationbecausetheyvalueit,andthatsthe
criticalfirststeptobecomingagreatleader.
Whatotherstrategiesmakeforgreatcommunication?Pleaseshareyourthoughts
onleadershipandcommunicationinthecommentssectionbelow,asIlearnjustas
muchfromyouasyoudofromme.
ABOUTTHEAUTHOR:
Dr.TravisBradberryistheawardwinningcoauthorofthe#1bestsellingbook,
EmotionalIntelligence2.0,andthecofounderofTalentSmart,theworld'sleading
providerofemotionalintelligencetestsandtraining,servingmorethan75%of
Fortune500companies.Hisbestsellingbookshavebeentranslatedinto25
languagesandareavailableinmorethan150countries.Dr.Bradberryhaswritten
for,orbeencoveredby,Newsweek,BusinessWeek,Fortune,Forbes,Fast
Company,Inc.,USAToday,TheWallStreetJournal,TheWashingtonPost,and
TheHarvardBusinessReview.
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Ifyou'dliketolearnhowtoincreaseyouremotionalintelligence(EQ),consider
takingtheonlineEmotionalIntelligenceAppraisaltestthat'sincludedwiththe
EmotionalIntelligence2.0book.Yourtestresultswillpinpointwhichofthebook's
66emotionalintelligencestrategieswillincreaseyourEQthemost.
management
leadership
communication
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Dr.TravisBradberry
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BriandeHaaff
HowtoDelightAnyAudience
BruceKasanoff
NikitaSkuratov
ExpertSAPPM
andonemore:
3ThingsYouShouldNever
11.Beyourself.
SaytoYourBoss
Trueintegrityrequireslearningtobeyourselfthesameselfatalltimesandwith
BriandeHaaff
allpeople.Weveallseenthepeoplewhoshiftlikeachameleontobetheperson
theyconsiderfittingforeveryoccasion.Thesuaveandentertainingpersonwhois
WhyBigDataMattersTo
lifeofthepartyandthengoeshometoyellataspouse.Thebosswhoshineslikea
EveryBusiness
starfromthepodiumandaftertheprogramisovershoutsabuseathisstaff.The
BernardMarrpersonwhofeignsreligiouspietyorpoliticalconservatisminfrontoftheparentor
bossandthenbecomesadifferentpersonentirelyfortherestoftheweek.Great
communicationrequiresthatyoulosetheattitudesyouputonlikeacoatfrom
TheWorld'sSuperWealthyin
yourclosetandlearntoexistasthesameauthenticandintegratedpersoninthe
5Stats
IanBremmerpresenceofeveryoneelseinyourlife.Whoisthatperson?Ifyouarentsureorthe
questionissuddenlygivingyoupause,youhaveworktodo.
ThatSoundYouHearisthe
Like (7) Reply 1dayago
ComcastDealCollapsing:
TopStoriesforThursday
JohnCAbell
LisaLand,TanvirAhmed[PMP,ITIL,PRINCE2],EmmanouelaGavala,+4
StepOne:ReadTheJob
EvelineBrownstein,MSHRMSPHRSHRMSCP
Brief
DirectorHRandComplianceatTwoRiversTitleCompany,LLC
JamesCaanCBE
Greatleadersdonotpromotehierarchy,butrathershowthattheyareasmucha
partoftheteamaseventhemostjuniorteammemberandtheytreateveryonewith
ToSucceed,Don'tJustPlan
respect,regardlessoftheirpositioninthecompany,orinthecommunity.
PlanRight
DanielBurrus
Like (5)
Reply(1)
1dayago
LisaLand,TanvirAhmed[PMP,ITIL,PRINCE2],Vasanthamugi.,+2
6/46
4/24/2015
mamadoudiarra
salemanagerroadleersarl
greatEvelineBrownstein,MSHRMSPHRSHRMSCP
Like
1dayago
HarryMcduffee
FormorInternationalIndependentDistributor
TheyUsePhrasesLikeItsMyFault,IWasWrong,andImSorryNeverever
beafraidofbeinginthewrong."Toerrishuman,ToforgiveisDivine."
Like (3)
Reply(1)
1dayago
IvonneTeoh,LisaLand,andCindyZhang
CindyZhang
StudentatSanMateoHighSchool
Greatadvice!Afterall,wecanalwayslearnfromourmistakes,andif
wedenyanymistakes,wecan'timprove.
Like (1)
1dayago
IvonneTeoh
LisaLand
RegisteredNurse,Telemetry
LOL!Isaidallthewords"I'msorry,""Iwaswrong,"and"Itwasmyfault"today!
Sometimesbeinga"leader"makesmefeellikesuchaloser!Ireallycareaboutmy
traineesandreallywantthemtosucceed.Itrysohardtodothethingsyoulistedin
yourpost.Isometimesfeelliketheworstnurseever!Ididn'tknowthatanswer,orI
gavethewronganswer,ormymessagewasunclearandresultedintotal
miscommunication!!!Ahh!!!Thankyousomuchforyourpost.Thebooklooksvery
appealing.
Like (3)
Reply(1)
1dayago
KarenCreighton,IvonneTeoh,andPhelekwaNyovane
IvonneTeoh
InternationallyRecog.SocialMedia/LinkedInExpert&Coach.Total
Network31Million
LisaLand,sayingyou'resorryshowsyou'rebigenough,strong
enoughtoknow&dotherightthing.Notaloseratall!Changewhat
yousaytoyourself(inside)&alsooutside.Youareagreatnurse,it's
atoughjob&Isaluteyou!
Like (1)
1dayago
7/46
4/24/2015
LisaLand
SanetteSmith
PeerRecoveryWorkeratCommunityFirstInternationalLtd.
Excellentarticle!Ihaveagreatmanagerwhoappliestheabovepointsallthetime.
Whatanamazingwomanandwhataprivilegeformetolearnsomuchfromher.I
feelvaluedandappreciatedandasifwhatIdocontributestotheteam'ssuccess.
Thisisagreatmotivatorforme.Thanksfortakingthetroubletoputthisarticle
together.Regards.
Like (4)
Reply
1dayago
KarenCreighton,IvonneTeoh,LisaLand,+1
VioletaBalhas
Communicationspecialist|LABpractitioner|Wordwrangler|Storyteller|Author|
Purveyorofbrilliantideas
Goodlist,towhichIwouldaddempathy.Youneedempathytotemper#3,being
honest.Honestywithoutempathycanbeahorrible,abused(andabusive)thing.
Like (3)
Reply
1dayago
LisaLand,CindyZhang,andChristopherGarrett
MarkAllen
CEOat3DMedia,MarketingandAdvertising
GreatarticleDrB.One'slevelofeffectivecommunication(verbalandwritten)will
ultimatelydeterminetheirlevelofsuccess.Aninterestingsidenoteisthesameis
truewithinternalcommunication
Like (3)
Reply(1)
1dayago
LisaLand,JamesL.,andJackWagner
LisaLand
RegisteredNurse,Telemetry
Mark,Icannotagreemore!Ihavemadeaconsciousefforttoimprove
mycommunicationskillsbecauseItoobelieveeffective
communicationissovitallyimportant!Seriously,Iamonamission!
Like
1dayago
Dr.TravisBradberry
AUTHOR
CoauthorEmotionalIntelligence2.0&PresidentatTalentSmart
Vera,you'reabsolutelyright!Greatcommunicatorsareoftennotgreatleaders,but
it'sveryraretofindatrulygreatleaderwhoisalsonotagreatcommunicator.
Like (3)
Reply
2daysago
8/46
4/24/2015
LisaLand,JamesL.,andVaroonAkolkar
StevenSchriever
ContactCenterLeader|InsideSalesTeamManager|CustomerExperience
ExcellenceAdvocate|Entrepreneur
Theterm'authenticleader'comestomindwhenIreadthis.
Like (3)
Reply
1dayago
IvonneTeoh,LisaLand,andCindyZhang
MargaritaBuffel,PHR,SHRMCP
HRManageratThomsonReuters
Oneofthemosteyeandearopeningsreadsinquitesometime.Takeamomentto
trulylisten.Youwillsurprisedatwhatyouactuallyhear.
Like (3)
Reply
1dayago
DanielMethner,IvonneTeoh,andLisaLand
MichaelKelley
ArmyAviationMissionSurvivabilityProgramManager
Ithinkacrucialaspectofgreatleadersisbeingabletoturnthingstheydidwrongor
didn'tdoatallintoopportunitiestovalidatewhysomethingneedstobedifferentin
thefuture.Thebeliefthatsomeoneelsecanlearnfromthoseinstancesand
becomemoresuccessfulbecauseofthem.
Like (2)
Reply(1)
1dayago
IvonneTeohandLisaLand
IvonneTeoh
InternationallyRecog.SocialMedia/LinkedInExpert&Coach.Total
Network31Million
InNLP,wecallitfeedback,notfailure.Failurehasstrongemotional
chargeformanypeoplewhichtheyresistinadmittingtheydid
somethingwrong.That'swhyapologisingissohardthen.Mistakes
aremadeallthetime,noticethem,admitthemhumbly,moveon&
improvelikeyousayMichaelKelley!
Like (1)
1dayago
MichaelKelley
IvetteK.Caballero
Entrepreneurial&StrategicMarketingCommunicationsProfessional
Notallleadersaregreatcommunicatorsandnotallgreatcommunicatorsare
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4/24/2015
leaders.
Like (3)
Reply
2daysago
MiguelAngelPalma,JamesL.,andMarkMooreGillonPh.D.,ACC
SuzanneDuncan
StrategicSportMarketingExpert/GlobalAcoountDirector/CorporateEvent
Management
IlovedthispostTravis.Itmakessensethatofyourlist,therearemany"good
leaders"thatI'veencounteredthat"almost"fitthebill,butfallshortwhenitcomes
tobeing"accountable"eitherbywayofapologizing,admittingmistakesorby
solicitingfeedbackinordertoimprove.IguessasMichaelBiebersaidsowell"why
thegreatonesaresofondlyremembered"andrevered!
Like (3)
Reply
2daysago
MiguelAngelPalma,JamesL.,andMarkMooreGillonPh.D.,ACC
DeniseR.Myers
ExecutiveCoachforWomanLeaders(CPCC)
Careaboutyourpeople......morethanwhatthey"candonext"foryou!Outstanding
articleandthissubjectcouldnotbecoveredenough........thankyou!
Like (2)
Reply
2daysago
JamesL.andSuzanneDuncan
MichaelBieber
SalesManagerHealthcareTechnology
Greatpost...wowyou'vecompiledatalllistofsecretsthatseemtoevademost
speakers...guessthat'swhythetrulygreatonesaresofondlyremembered!
Like (2)
Reply
2daysago
JamesL.andSuzanneDuncan
PramodKumarSrivastava
CEOIManagementConsultant|Thinker|Writer|Speaker|&CosmosCitizen
Onlyonesecret"DilSe",Imean,fromheart.
Like (2)
Reply
2daysago
JamesL.andMarkMooreGillonPh.D.,ACC
DuncanGrice
DeputyHeadofCollegeatDulwichCollegeSuzhou
Anexcellentarticle,succinctlyput.Ihavealwaysfoundthataskingforpeople's
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4/24/2015
opinions/ideastobeverypositive.Whetheracteduponornot,feedingbacktothem
isthekey.Whenstaff,studentsandparentsknowthattheyhavebeenheardthey
aregenerallyhappy.Youalsogetabankofsomesuperideastohelpdevelopyour
organisation.
Like (2)
Reply
2daysago
DiaRossides
PhDStudent,Leadership
Greatleadershavesituationalawarenessfirstandforemost.Theyunderstandthe
culturetheyareleadingincludingitsunspokennormsandvalues.Greatleaders
influenceothersbyappealingtotheirselfinterests.Thisrequiresadeep
understandingofone'sfollowers.Greatleadersareeffectivecommunicatorswhen
theyassumetheycoach,mentorandsupportoutofagenuinedesiretodevelop
others.Greatleadersareeffectivecommunicatorswhentheyarticulateacompelling
visionwithapositiveemotionaltoneinvitinginputandcooperationfromeveryoneon
theirteam.(Coleman&Boyatzis,2008)
Like (2)
Reply
2daysago
DiaRossides
PhDStudent,Leadership
AsIunderstanditeffectiveleadershipisbuiltonSOCIALintelligencewhichisnot
equivalenttojustmeresocialskills.Assitionally,itgoesbeyondEMOTIONAL
intelligencewhichisgroundedinpsychologytheory.Socialintelligencehasbeen
explainedasasetofinterpersonalcompetenciesbuiltonspecificneuralcircuits
thatinspireotherstobeeffective.ThisdefinitionhasaBIOLOGICALunderpinning
andinvolvesmirrorneurons,spindlecellsandoscillatorsthatcanreinforceneural
linksbetweenleadersandfollowers.
Like (2)
Reply
2daysago
DanielSjgren
ManagingDirectoratCarlsbergGroup
Greatarticledemonstratingthatleadershipisnotdifficultbutitneedstobe
deliberatewiththeaudienceinfocus.WhenIcoachpeopleindifficultsituationsI
alwaysaskthemhowtheythinktheotherpartyfeels.Itisstrikinghowweoften
forgettothinkaboutthemostimportantpersoninanycommunication...theother
person.
Like (2)
Reply
2daysago
11/46
4/24/2015
ShowMore
JeffHaden
Ghostwriter,Speaker,Inc.MagazineContributing
Editor
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There'sOnlyOneGuaranteedWay
toBeMoreConfident,andThisIsIt
Apr23,2015
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Confidenceisnotsomethingyoueitherhaveoryoudon't.
Takeme.StickmeonabicycleatalocalgrouprideandI'mconfident.I'mself
assured.IfeellikeIbelong(which,ifyouthinkaboutit,isanicedefinitionof
confidence.)
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Butstickmeonabicycleatagranfondosurroundedbythefastguysandsuddenly
everythingchanges.I'minstantlyshyandinsecure.Ifeellikeaverysmallfishway
outofhiswater.
Unfortunatelyformeandmaybeforyouconfidenceismuchmoresituational
thanabsolute.Insomesettingwe'reselfassuredinothers,notsomuch.
That'sprobablynatural...andthat'sprobablywhymanytipsforhowtofeel
confidentoftenfallshort.Muchofthatadvicecanbeboileddownto,"Youcanbe
confidentallyouhavetodoisdecidetobeconfident."
Evidentlyit'seasy:suppressnegativethoughtsandrepeatsomereallycoolself
affirmingstatementsandvoila!I'mlikeDonaldTrump.
Ornot.
ABetterWaytoThinkAboutConfidence
AccordingtoDr.TomasChamorroPremuzic,aprofessorofbusinesspsychologyat
UniversityCollegeLondonandauthoroftheoutstandingbookConfidence:
OvercomingLowSelfEsteem,Insecurity,andDoubt,thereisanotherwaytolook
atsupposedlyconfidencebuildingselftalk:
Forexample,ifyouarefeelingworthlessandtrytosuppressthosefeelings,youwill
neverbeabletodowhatittakestoimprove.If,ontheotherhand,youcometo
termswithyournegativeselfviewsandacceptthefactthatyouarenotasgoodas
youwouldliketobeand,especially,thatyouareunhappywithyourself,youwillbe
abletofocusonwhatyouneedtodotoimprove.
Dissatisfactionisthemotherofchange,andonlychangecandriveimprovement.
Thechoicebetweenthetwooptionsisanobrainer.Deliberateattemptstoincrease
yourconfidenceareboundtoresultinfailureanddemoralizeyou,whereas
attemptstoimproveyourperformancecanresultinnotjustcompetencegainsbut
alsoagenuineboosttoyourconfidence.Theanswertothequestion,"Whatshould
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Idoaboutmylowconfidence?"canhardlybesimpler:
Embraceit.
Thinkaboutit.Lackofconfidenceisn'ttheproblemlackofconfidenceisactually
themeanstoasolution.Whenyouactuallyacceptyourweakpoints,yourflaws,
andyourimperfections,thenyoucanmotivateyourselftomakechangesand
improve.
Inshort,hidefromyourweaknessesandyou'llalwaysbeweak.Acceptyour
weaknessesandthenworktoimprovethemandyou'lleventuallybestrongerand
moreconfident.
Sowhatistheonlyrecipeforfeelingmoreconfident?
Success.
Improvementbreedsconfidence.Competencebreedsconfidence.Successin
yourfield,orsometimesinanypursuitbreedsconfidence.
Takemeagain.YearsagoIwasinvitedtospeaktoanaudienceofarounda
thousandpeople.Awesome,right?Well,maybenot.Ihadneverspokentoan
audiencelargerthanabout150peoplebefore.PlusIwasaskedtospeakonatopic
Ididn'tknowthatmuchabout.
Evenso,theopportunitywastoogoodtopassup...
...andIbombed.
Badly.
Oh,everyonetoldmeIdidfine.(Toaspeaker,beingtoldyouwere"fine"islikea
teenagerbeingtoldyouhaveagoodpersonality.)Iwantedtobelievethem.I
wantedtoignoremyfeelingsofincompetence,disappointment,andfailure.
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AndthenIrealizedIwouldnevergetbetterifIdidn't1)acceptthefactIhadfailed
and2)workhardtoimprove.SoIwentbacktothedrawingboard.Iwrangled
invitationstolocalcivicgroups.Ispoketostudentsatlocalcolleges.Iforcedmyself
tospeakontopicsoutsidemywheelhousesoIcouldlearnthemechanicsof
craftingagreathookandagreatstory.SometimesIdidwell,sometimesIdidbadly
butovertimeIgainedskillandcompetence.
Andconfidence.
AmIstillnervousbeforeIstepoutinfrontofbigcrowds?Ohhellyeah.I'mahot
messofinsecurity.ButIcanworkthroughthosefeelingsnotbecauseIengagein
alotofhappyhorse(manure)selftalkbutbecauseIknowI'vebeenthere,done
that,andcandoitagain.
I'mconfident,becauseIhavesuccessinmypocket.
YetI'malsoinsecureenoughtoalwayswanttogetbetter.
EvenUnrelatedSuccessHelps
Oddlyenough,successinonepursuityieldsgreaterconfidenceinotherareasof
life.
Backtomybicycleexample:ThefirstmajorgranfondoIrodewas100mileslong
andincludedover11,000feetofclimbingoverfourmountains(twoofthoseclimbs
ondirt/gravelroads.)Itwaslong.Itwasendless.Itwasphysically(andwillpowery)
harderthananythingIhadeverdone.ButIfinishedit.
AndevenweeksafterwardIgenerallyfeltmoreconfident.Iworriedlessaboutwhat
peoplethoughtofme.Ihaddonesomethinghuge,atleastformeanditliftedme
foralongtime.
That'sbecausewhileconfidencemaybesituational,somedegreeofconfidence
canalsospillover.Whenyoufeelgoodaboutyourselfinonewaywhenyou
achievesomedegreeofsuccessinoneaspectofyourlifeyoutendtofeelbetter
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aboutotherpartsofyourlifeaswell.Afterall,ifyoucandoonethingwell,youcan
dolotsofthingswell.
Allyouhavetodoisworkatit.
HowtoBeMoreCompetentandThereforeMoreConfident
Soforgettheselftalkandpsychoanalysis.It'sallaboutaction.Here'sTomasagain:
Mostpeopleliketheideaofbeingexceptional,butnotenoughtodowhatittakesto
getthere...everybodysaystheywanttobeslim,healthy,attractive,andrich,but
fewpeoplearewillingtodowhatittakestoattainthosethings,whichsuggeststhey
don'treallywantthosethingsasmuchastheysayorthink.
PaulArden,formercreativedirectorofSaatchi&Saatchi,sumsthisupnicelyby
explainingthattypicallywhenwesaywe"want"something,weactuallyjustmean
wewanttohaveit,butwithnoimplicitassumptionthatwe'rewillingtodoanywork
togetthere.Inreality,wantingsomethingshouldequatewithbeingpreparedto
takethenecessarystepstoachieveit.Ifyouareseriousaboutyourgoals,thenyou
willdowhateverittakestoattainthemyourconfidenceissecondary.
Whatmattersisthedesireyouhavetoattempttoachieveyourgoals.
Sodon'tsayyoulackconfidence.Allofuslackconfidence.Allofushave
insecurities,doubts,fears...allofus.
Justpickagoal,agoalyoutrulywanttoachieve,andtakeacleareyedlookat
yourweaknessesnotsoyou'llfeellessconfident,butsoyoucandetermine
exactlywhatyouneedtoworkon.
Thengettowork.Celebratesmallsuccesses.Analyzeyourweaknesses.Keep
going.
Asyougainskillyou'llalsogainafeelingofgenuineconfidence,onethatcannever
betakenawaybecauseyou'veearnedit.
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IalsowriteforInc.com:
10OrdinaryBeliefsofExtraordinarilySuccessfulPeople
HowtoBeMoreCharismatic:10Tips
10BodyLanguageSecretsofHighlySuccessfulPeople
9EssentialHabitsofExtremelyEffectivePeople
7ThingsRemarkablyHappyPeopleDoMoreOften
Checkoutmybookofpersonaland
professionaladvice,TransForm:
DramaticallyImproveYourCareer,
Business,Relationships,andLifeOne
SimpleStepAtaTime.(PDFversion
here,Kindleversionhere,Nookversion
here.)
Ifafter10minutesyoudon'tfindatleast5
thingsyoucandotomakeyourlifebetterI'll
refundyourmoney.
Thatwayyouhavenothingtolose...and
everythingtogain.
confidencebuilding
leadership
Writtenby
JeffHaden
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Careers:TheNextLevel
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JamesAltucher
Entrepreneur,Started&soldseveralcos,Author
11books(latest"ThePowerofNo"),AngelInv
JamesAltucher.com
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It'sOKIfYouDon't
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Ifeelinadequate.Andthere'snotmuchIcandoaboutit.Orevenwanttodoabout
it.Iactuallylikethefeeling.
IhadalunchtodaywithaguywhoworkedinthemailroomatHannahBarbera
whichmadeallmycartoonfavoritesfromthe70s:TheFlintstones,ScoobyDoo,
TheJetsons,andsoon.
HeusedtopitchideaseverydaytoJoeBarbera."Iwasworkinginthemailroom
butIkeptcomingupwithideasforcartoons.IwouldsendthemuptoJoeBarbera
andIhadnoideaifhewouldlikethemornot.Theneventuallyhepulledmeover
andIstartedhelpingonallthescripts."
Imentionedsomeofmyfavoritecartoonsfromthe70s."Youknowthatonewith
ScoobyDooandtheHarlemGlobetrotters?"Isaid."Iwroteallofthose,"hesaid.
"WhataboutSpaceGhost?"
"Iwrotethat.
"WhatabouttheJetsons?""Wroteit."
Andsoon.Impressiveguy.Hekilledhimselfatonethingfor30yearsandwroteall
theseclassicsIgrewupon.
I'vemetorinterviewedsomanypeopleinthelastyear.Inthelastfiveyears.Inthe
last25years.Peoplewhohaveamazedme.Itrytolearnfromthemand
sometimesIcanlearnalittlebit.
WhenImeetsomeoneItrytolearnonethingthatIwillneverforget.Itaddsup.
Likehowsomeonegotinspiredbyapenciltobuildahundredschoolsinthirdworld
countries(AdamBraun)oraboutsomeonewhowrotelyricseverydaywhile97%of
hisfriendswerekilledbythetimehischildhoodwasoverandthenhemadethe
bestsellingsongof1995(Coolio).
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OrtheCongressmanobsessedwithmeditationOrtheothercongressmanwhois
nowrunningforPresident.Orthe72yearoldwhorunsthelargestbeercompanyin
thecountry.
Orpeoplewhowork90hoursaweekchasingtheirdreams.
Iadmit:I'mnotreallythatdriven.Iliketoread.Iliketowrite.Iliketotellmystory.
Youknowwhatmybasicstoryis?Fear.
IwasdesperatelyafraidIcouldn'tfeedmyfamily.Imadealotofmoney.IthoughtI
wouldneverhavetoworryforever.ThenIfellinlovewithsomeone.ThenIlostit
all.Madeitback.Lost.Made.Lost.Made.
Whatarollercoaster!Iwasn'tmakingdreams.Ijustwantedtofeedmyfamily.
IthinkIcameupwithastrategytokeepmebalanced.Toallowmetogrowand
flourishinsteadofjustworry.Butreally,pastthat,Idon'tcare.
I'mhappyIfeedmyfamilynowaftersucharollercoaster.Idon'twanttoowna
basketballteam.Orendaging.Orgotothemoon.
AtsomepointIgavemyselfpermission:
It'sokifyoudon'tknowwhatyouwanttodonext
.
It'sokifyou'rescared.Scaredshitless.
It'soktonotwriteabestsellingnovel.
It'soktoleaveearly
.
It'soktonotbeabillionaire.
It'soktonotstartacharitythatendsmalaria.
It'soktogetfiredortofail.Orevenworse,tolosesomeone'smoney.That
happenssometimes.
ItryhardateverythingIlove.WhenIlovesomethingIwanttoobsessonevery
partofit.ThishascausedmeproblemsinrelationshipswhenIobsess.
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It'soktobeinhardsituationsthatyoucan'tsolve.
ThisiswhyIhavetoremindmyselfeverydaytofocusonhealth.Bearoundgood
people.Becreative.Begrateful.OnceadayIsavemylifebyremindingmyselfof
that.
That'sokthatIhavetoremindmyselfofthatorloseeverything.Again.
It'sokifnoteveryonelikesme.Sometimesitsurprisesmewhodoesn'tlikeme.I
thinkIgetsurprisedlikethatatleastonceaday.Igotsurprisedlikethatyesterday.
It'soktobe"stuck"sometimes.Toknowthatyouhavetalentsbuttohavenoidea
howorwhenorwhytoapplythem.Beingstuckisahugesignalit'stotimeto
change.That'snotabadthing.It'sagoodthing.
It'soktotaketimeordering.
It'soktonothaveopinions.
Wheneveryouargue,peoplearealwaysreadywithpointysharpfacts.Ifone
personhasthefactsforX,thenanotherhasthefactsforX.
There'slotsofintelligencetestsoutthere.Like:Googleasksthesequestionsat
interviews.Howmarbleswouldfitinallofouterspace?Ilookatthosequestions.I
can'tansweranyofthem.That'soktoo.
SometimesIforgettoreturnanemail.Ireallylikedapersonandtheysentan
emailandthenIforgettoreply.IlookbackmonthslaterandseeImadeadraftbut
neverhitsend.Sometimesthat'sok.Butsometimesitpreventsmefrombeing
friendswithpeopleIlike.
Ilikebeatingmy13yearolddaughterattennis!Butguesswhat?Weplayedforthe
firsttimeinmonthsthispastweekendandshewashittingstrongerandfaster.
Prettysoonshewillbeatme.Iguessthat'sokalso.Childrenshouldgetbetterthan
theirparents.
Afriendofmineisasupergenius.Hestoppedbyyesterdaytoshowmehislatest
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invention.Hecameupwithanewmoleculetoputintoa"vaping"device(an
electronicdevicethatletsyousmokewithouttheactualsmoke.)
Hemadeaspecialconcoctionsoinsteadofsmokingnicotinehe'sthefirstperson
toeversmokevitamins.WeloadeditupwithvitaminB12andeachtookabout
10,000timestherecommendeddailyallowance.
Hetookhisbloodbeforeandafter.Sureenough,10,000timesmoreb12wasinhis
bloodthanbefore.
Hesaid,"thisgoesrightintothebloodstream.Asopposedtotakingitinpillform
wherenoneofitgoesintothebloodstream.Thatwhole$28billionvitaminindustry
isascam."
WevapedVitaminB12foraboutanhourandthenIwenttomycartoonistlunch
andthenovertodoapodcastwithStephenDubnerwhowroteFreakonomics.
Iwasthinkingtomyself,"I'mthesecondpersoninhistorytosmokeVitaminB12.
I'mliketheBuzzAldrinofthatvitamin.
Claudiaincidentally,wasnumberthree.We'revitanauts.
DubnerandIweretalkingaboutwhatthesaddesttruthinlifewas.Hesaid,asifit
wereobvious,"youmeanotherthandying?".
Isaiddyingtomesoundedlikethehappiesttruthaboutliving.Thatbeingbornwas
aprettysadtruth.
Onceyourbornyouhavetoexcretefoodfortherestofyourlife.That'slikeGod's
punishmentforeatingthatapple.Oncewewereeatingappleswehadtoshitthem
out.
IsaidIwouldn'tmindifIdiedtomorrow.I'mnotdepressedoranything.Butlifehas
beenprettygoodtomesoIdon'treallysweatdying.
It'sokifIwanttodieoccasionallywithoutbeingdepressed.Whocares?Weall
havetodiesometime.
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DubnerandIdidsixstraightpodcastsinarow.We'reprobablygoingtoreleasethe
podcastsinamonthorso.Ihadalotoffun.Notbecauseofthepodcastsbut
becausewe'vebeenfriendsfor15yearsalmost.I'mvaguelyaheadina
backgammonmatchthatwestartedin2003.
Whatareyouuptonext?hesaidwhenwewereleavingthestudio
Isaid,Idon'tknow.Probablygohomeandgotosleep.I'mprettytired.It'sokifIgo
tosleepat7pmifI'mtired.
Andthat'sexactlywhatIdid.
Adayinthelife.
(Inphoto:ChooseYourselfvsFreakonomicsauthorStephenDubner)
Writtenby
JamesAltucher
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10 Communication Secrets of Great Leaders

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10 Communication Secrets of Great Leaders

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4/24/2015

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