Article appeared Friday, May 22nd, 2015 in The News Today, Bangladesh

The Revelation (379)

yousuf mahbubul Islam, PhD

As we grow older, at some point in our lives, we may want a definition for love. Movies and
plays portray love stories of various kinds. Facebook and other social media fill our heads with
skewed or projected definitions of love. Looking through websites on the Internet we would also
find a variety of definitions. Sometimes, in an effort to define love, adjectives such as selfish or
selfless are attached, i.e., attempts are made to define selfish love and selfless love. Before we
attempt to look for definitions, let us ask some questions and decide what love cannot be.
Should love be temporary, i.e., something that lasts a few hours, a few days or just a few years?
Should love be dependent on others, e.g., if a loved one dies, should love also die with the
person? If not, what then is love? And whom should love depend on? A couple of quotes may
help point us in the right direction. The American author H. Jackson Brown, Jr. (b.1940) gives us
a clue when he is quoted as saying,
Love is when the other person's happiness is more important than your own. {1}
So, what part can a person play in another persons happiness or how can a person ensure
another person is happy? Can sincerely listening to the heart of the other person, doing things
for the other person, giving value to the other person, being sensitive to the feelings of the other
person, helping the other person be successful, or even doing things that pleases or could
please the other person be classified as love? If so, love isnt about ourselves it is about
others; going outside oneself to do things to make others happy. To bring this point home,
Stephen R. Covey writes in his highly acclaimed book, The 7 habits of Highly Effective People:
Powerful Lessons in Personal Change,
Love is a verb. Love the feeling is the fruit of love the verb, or our loving actions. So
love her. Sacrifice. Listen to her. Empathize. Appreciate. Affirm her. {2}
So, it is an effective man who demonstrates love by repeatedly carrying out activities for the
woman he loves this is what builds confidence in love and peace. Can love be one-way? If the
woman appreciates the love being received and demonstrates her gratitude by loving back, a
strong love-bond is created which should then give each companion pleasure, satisfaction and
peace. What do the Holy Scriptures say about love? The Quran directs men,
Also (prohibited are) women already married... Thus has Allah ordained (prohibitions)
against you: except for these all others are lawful provided you seek them with gifts from
your property desiring chastity not lust [4.24]
The demonstration of love, i.e., the giving of gifts should not be for desiring lust; it should be in
appreciation of the person, seeking human companionship. This demonstration of love is an
intellectual activity that has been given as a blessing to humans.
And among His Signs is this that He created for you mates from among yourselves that
you may dwell in tranquility with them and He has put love and mercy between your
(hearts); verily in that are Signs for those who reflect. [30.21]
If we reflect, we will realize that the physical activities of love are similar to that of animals; it is
the intellectual activities that make humans unique individuals. It is for humans that Holy
Scriptures have been revealed to guide on what gives the best outcomes. The Holy Scriptures
include stories of the prophets to take lesson from. The story of Joseph or Prophet Yusuf
includes a part about love. It shows the kind of love that does not work and gets humans into
trouble. The ladies of the city had come to know that the wife of the Aziz, in whose house

Joseph worked as a slave, had wanted to seduce him physically. So, the wife became a talk of
the town.

12.30 Ladies said in the city, "The wife of the (great) Aziz is seeking to seduce
her slave from his (true) self: truly has he inspired her with a violent love: we see
she is evidently going astray."
She had locked herself with Joseph in the room and asked him to come to her.
But she, in whose house he was, sought to seduce him from his (true) self: she
fastened the doors and said: "Now come dear one!" He said: "Allah forbid! Truly (your
husband) is my lord! He made my sojourn agreeable (in this house)! Truly to no good
come those who do wrong!" [12.23]
Later, she found out about the rumors in the town the ladies of the town were talking about
her.

12.31 When (Zulaikha) heard of their malicious talk she sent for them and
prepared a banquet for them: she gave each of them a knife; and she said (to
Joseph) "Come out before them. When they saw him they did extol him and (in
their amazement) cut their hands; they said, "Allah preserve us! No mortal is this!
This is none other than a noble angel!"
The ladies of the town were attracted by Josephs appearance. Displaying Joseph made the
situation worse it was as if he was a piece of flesh worth having. It was a demonstration of
beauty and not of intellect.

12.32 She said, "There, before you, is the man about whom you did blame me! I
did seek to seduce him from his (true) self but he did firmly save himself
guiltless! And now if he does not do my bidding he shall certainly be cast into
prison and (what is more) he would be in the company of the vilest!"
She cleared Joseph of being guilty and acknowledged the fact that it was she who had desired
him. She declared that if he did not do her bidding, she would get him thrown into prison.

12.33 He said: "O my Lord! The prison is more to my liking than that to which
they invite me: unless YOU turn away their snare from me I should (in my youthful
folly) feel inclined towards them and join the ranks of the ignorant."
Joseph, being intelligent, understood this attraction to be wrong, as she was married and that
her husband was the owner of the house in which he was employed as a slave.

12.34 So his Lord heard him (in his prayer) and turned away from him their
snare: verily He hears and knows (all things).
Our Creator helped Joseph avoid temptation. However, the men in the city became concerned
and worried at the feelings that Joseph had aroused in women. So, in fact, prison was the safest
place for Joseph for the time being.

12.35 Then it occurred to the men after they had seen the signs (that it was best)
to imprison him for a time.
-----{Notes}:
{1} http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/h/hjacksonb384402
{2} http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/1538.Stephen_R_Covey?page=2