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A large and growing body of scientific evidence indicates that the intact, married family is best for children. In particular, the
work of scholars David Popenoe, Linda Waite, Maggie Gallagher, Sara McLanahan, David Blankenhorn, Paul Amato, and Alan
Booth has contributed to this conclusion.
This statement from Sara McLanahan, a sociologist at Princeton University, is representative:
If we were asked to design a system for making sure that children's basic needs were met, we would probably come up with
something quite similar to the two-parent ideal. Such a design, in theory, would not only ensure that children had access to the
time and money of two adults, it also would provide a system of checks and balances that promoted quality parenting. The fact
that both parents have a biological connection to the child would increase the likelihood that the parents would identify with the
child and be willing to sacrifice for that child, and it would reduce the likelihood that either parent would abuse the child.
Sara McLanahan and Gary Sandefur, Growing Up with a Single Parent: What Hurts, What Helps(Boston: Harvard University
Press, 1994) 38.
The following are ten science-based arguments against same-sex "marriage":
1. Children hunger for their biological parents.
Homosexual couples using in vitro fertilization (IVF) or surrogate mothers deliberately create a class of children who will live
apart from their mother or father. Yale Child Study Center psychiatrist Kyle Pruett reports that children of IVF often ask their
single or lesbian mothers about their fathers, asking their mothers questions like the following:"Mommy, what did you do with
my daddy?" "Can I write him a letter?" "Has he ever seen me?" "Didn't you like him? Didn't he like me?" Elizabeth Marquardt
reports that children of divorce often report similar feelings about their non-custodial parent, usually the father.
Kyle Pruett, Fatherneed (Broadway Books, 2001) 204.
Elizabeth Marquardt, The Moral and Spiritual Lives of Children of Divorce. Forthcoming.
2. Children need fathers.
If same-sex civil marriage becomes common, most same-sex couples with children would be lesbian couples. This would mean
that we would have yet more children being raised apart from fathers. Among other things, we know that fathers excel in
reducing antisocial behavior and delinquency in boys and sexual activity in girls.
What is fascinating is that fathers exercise a unique social and biological influence on their children. For instance, a recent study
of father absence on girls found that girls who grew up apart from their biological father were much more likely to experience
early puberty and a teen pregnancy than girls who spent their entire childhood in an intact family. This study, along with David
Popenoe's work, suggests that a father's pheromones influence the biological development of his daughter, that a strong marriage
provides a model for girls of what to look for in a man, and gives them the confidence to resist the sexual entreaties of their
boyfriends.
* Ellis, Bruce J., et al., "Does Father Absence Place Daughters at Special Risk for Early Sexual Activity and Teenage
Pregnancy?" Child Development, 74:801-821.
* David Popenoe, Life Without Father (Boston: Harvard University Press, 1999).
3. Children need mothers.
Although homosexual men are less likely to have children than lesbians, homosexual men are and will be raising children. There
will be even more if homosexual civil marriage is legalized. These households deny children a mother. Among other things,
mothers excel in providing children with emotional security and in reading the physical and emotional cues of infants. Obviously,
they also give their daughters unique counsel as they confront the physical, emotional, and social challenges associated with
puberty and adolescence. Stanford psychologist Eleanor MacCoby summarizes much of this literature in her book, The Two
Sexes. See also Steven Rhoads' book, Taking Sex Differences Seriously.
Eleanor MacCoby, The Two Sexes: Growing Up Apart, Coming Together (Boston: Harvard, 1998).
Steven Rhoads, Taking Sex Differences Seriously (Encounter Books, 2004).
the lowest fertility rates in the world. For instance, the Netherlands, Sweden, and Canada have birthrates that hover around 1.6
children per woman--well below the replacement fertility rate of 2.1.
For national fertility rates, see: http://www.cia.gov/cia/publications/factbook/geos/sw.html
For more on the growing disconnect between marriage and procreation,
see:http://marriage.rutgers.edu/Publications/SOOU/SOOU2003.pdf
8. Same-sex "marriage" would further diminish the expectation of paternal commitment.
The divorce and sexual revolutions of the last four decades have seriously undercut the norm that couples should get and stay
married if they intend to have children, are expecting a child, or already have children. Political scientist James Q. Wilson reports
that the introduction of no-fault divorce further destabilized marriage by weakening the legal and cultural meaning of the
marriage contract. George Akerlof, a Nobel laureate and an economist, found that the widespread availability of contraception
and abortion in the 1960s and 1970s, and the sexual revolution they enabled, made it easier for men to abandon women they got
pregnant, since they could always blame their girlfriends for not using contraception or procuring an abortion.
It is plausible to suspect that legal recognition of homosexual civil marriage would have similar consequences for the institution
of marriage; that is, it would further destabilize the norm that adults should sacrifice to get and stay married for the sake of their
children. Why? Same-sex civil marriage would institutionalize the idea that children do not need both their mother and their
father.
This would be particularly important for men, who are more likely to abandon their children. Homosexual civil marriage would
make it even easier than it already is for men to rationalize their abandonment of their children. After all, they could tell
themselves, our society, which affirms lesbian couples raising children, believes that children do not need a father. So, they might
tell themselves, I do not need to marry or stay married to the mother of my children.
James Q. Wilson, The Marriage Problem. (Perennial, 2003) 175-177.
George A. Akerlof, Janet L. Yellen, and Michael L. Katz, "An Analysis of Out-of-Wedlock Childbearing in the United
States." Quarterly Journal of Economics CXI: 277-317.
9. Marriages thrive when spouses specialize in gender-typical roles.
If same-sex civil marriage is institutionalized, our society would take yet another step down the road of de-gendering marriage.
There would be more use of gender-neutral language like "partners" and--more importantly--more social and cultural pressures to
neuter our thinking and our behaviors in marriage.
But marriages typically thrive when spouses specialize in gender-typical ways and are attentive to the gendered needs and
aspirations of their husband or wife. For instance, women are happier when their husband earns the lion's share of the household
income. Likewise, couples are less likely to divorce when the wife concentrates on childrearing and the husband concentrates on
breadwinning, as University of Virginia psychologist Mavis Hetherington admits.
E. Mavis Hetherington and John Kelly, For Better or For Worse. (W.W. Norton and Co., 2002) 31.
Steven Rhoads, Taking Sex Differences Seriously (Encounter Books, 2004).
10. Women and marriage domesticate men.
Men who are married earn more, work harder, drink less, live longer, spend more time attending religious services, and are more
sexually faithful. They also see their testosterone levels drop, especially when they have children in the home.
If the distinctive sexual patterns of "committed" gay couples are any indication (see above), it is unlikely that homosexual
marriage would domesticate men in the way that heterosexual marriage does. It is also extremely unlikely that the biological
effects of heterosexual marriage on men would also be found in homosexual marriage. Thus, gay activists who argue that samesex civil marriage will domesticate gay men are, in all likelihood, clinging to a foolish hope. This foolish hope does not justify
yet another effort to meddle with marriage.