Building the Dungeon

Dungeon Aesthetic
d12
1. Designed to accommodate alien/giant body plan
2. Meticulously-crafted, smooth stonework, unadorned, impeccably clean
3. Vertical design around central crevasse w/shafts, landings, platforms for ancient
public levitation system no longer in service
4. Architect: H. R. Giger on an acid-fueled bender with unlimited budget and
massive slave labor force of highly skilled artisans
5. Dark whimsy: a Disneyland of fear and death
6. Slopped together w/minimal outlay and effort, functionality compromised, doors
barely work
7. Natural beauty of cavern system preserved and subtly enhanced, chambers
linked by faux-natural causeways
8. Mind-bending baroque design: countless sculptures, tapestries, bas reliefs,
mosaics depict events of terror and bloodshed
9. Interconnected system of cones, spheres and cylinders, cold and clinical, origin
unknown
10. Original masonry eroded and dotted with fossilized coral from long-ago period of
flooding
11. Jarring tilts and trapezoidal chambers, angled ceilings and floors, a mad-house
12. Rough-hewn functionality dangerously askew after major earthquake, strong
chances of collapse, inter-level breakthroughs.
Just Getting in the Dungeon is Brutal
d12
1. Must drain chalice of hot poison for magical entry, saving throw required
2. Via the Queen's magic mirror which leads to the dragon's magic mirror, wherever
he's keeping it these days
3. Teleported in by anointing head with the blood of the Ogre Czar
4. Pass through permanent dimension door at the top of a 1000 meter tree

5. Locate dungeon door only in dream state induced by exceedingly rare cave
fungus that grows on hell hound droppings
6. Leap through the top floor window in the Spider-lich's spire
7. Mega-swarm of moon moths provide lift to cloud door if first charmed by series of
elaborate rituals w/plenty of dancing and blood sacrifice
8. Navigate reeking sewer-maze beneath the city of extinct titans
9. Only known entrance at the base of inverted pyramid on the moon
10. An arch-devil must agree to show you the way
11. Unlocked door in the wall of cavern thousands of feet beneath the ocean
surface, ancestral burial ground of the intelligent cephalopods
12. Monumental excavation effort requiring huge labor force toiling night and day
for months, all the while terror-mummies claw their way up from the deep sands
Interdungeon Connectivity
d12
1. Maze-like tunnels in constant state of flux burrowed by giant stone-ants cursed
with perpetual gold fever by the earth gods, smell gold w/in 100', relentlessly
pursue treasure laden adventurers, constantly loading random dungeon rooms
w/debris in lieu of ant-hill
2. Sorcerer w/bio-mechanical mole machine and array of detection spells made trips
from one juicy treasury to the next, leaving 10'round passages in wake, huge
scorched zone where mech-mole finally blew up
3. Wicked iron-dwarfs tunnel up from below, install magma pipeline, extort tribute
from dungeon powers-that-be with threats of molten doom, deep hub accesses
several dungeons
4. Everyone knows colossal chthonic worms, compelled by the gods to forever circle
the earth in subterranean orbit, often inadvertently chew connections between
disparate dungeons, can't be stopped, worm-prediction sorcery, constant repairs
just the cost of doing business
5. UFO materialized in evil wizard's lair on deep level instead of expected demon,
used disintegration field to bore its way to freedom, but not before intersecting with
nearby complex, disintegrating the Dungeon Overlord in the process, creating
frantic power vacuum situation w/much backstabbery and preemptive striking
among the factions

6. No one knows why the migratory laser-trolls blast their why from dungeon to
dungeon, probably something to do with their complex reproductive cycle, too gross
to contemplate
7. Very friendly giant sentient fish in mythic underground river willing to swallow
adventurers, transport to adjacent dungeon, regurgitate, no payment required, they
just love to do it
8. System of totally automatic superconductor-propelled subway cars link many
known underworld sites, left over from earlier civilization, 65% of routes still in
perfect working order, 35% lead to catastrophic plunge to earth's core or some such
lethal end
9. Roots of mythic world tree penetrate several underground locales in their
meanderings, retreat from sources of evil/eldritch unpleasantness, spiraling
passages left behind
10. Looks like a 10' deep pit, false bottom opens into corkscrew chute that launches
any who enter into an hours-long amusement park thrill ride terminating in
neighboring dungeon's prison level, multiple saving throws required to avoid dizzy
discombobulation w/severe vomiting
11. Monstrous Dungeon Overlord maintains permanent arcane gate between private
chamber and well-appointed trysting place in other complex for hook-ups w/foxy
gynosphynx
12. Adventurers encysted in adamant sphere, loaded into lava tube, outflow in
lowest level of next-dungeon-over, evil dwarf pit crew at destination stand by to
extract, collect other half of exorbitant fee
Random Dungeon Overlord
d12
1. Marooned outer being established as object of worship, amasses resources
needed to activate trans-cosmic distress signal device
2. World's smartest giant engineers scenario to ignite and maintain world's most
continuous debauched revelry
3. Demigod of unspeakable evil and malice brought to lowly state by various earthly
addictions
4. Failed war leader from remote alien sphere gathering power to give it another go
in campaign world, hubris matched only by general incompetence (except in cruelty
and combat)
5. Satan himself, visits campaign universe in spare time, just a relaxing hobby

6. Chrononaut from distant past: dinosaur monarch reincarnated as human-type,

uniting powers of darkness to topple nauseating reign of mammals
7. Megalomaniac artist/sorcerer w/sensibilities of Hieronymus Bosch/H. R. Giger,
plans to use entirety of campaign world as grand living canvas
8. Champion of Law gone rogue/undercover to sow seeds of Charles Mansonian
helter-skelter amongst the surface kingdoms, triggering at last perpetually delayed
final conflict
9. Just the standard bitter evil royal from surface kingdom fomenting the darkest
possible revenge upon righteous usurpers until contracting lycanthropy and
grotesquely disfigured by mind-enhancing fungal infection
10. Eldest god, diminished by laws of thermodynamics, attempts to undermine
current reality and set new big bang in motion, builds containment module to
sustain essence for special guest appearance in rebooted universe
11. Ascendant deity of Moral Relativism in super-impressive mortal guise, maintains
terrible dungeon environment as proving ground for philosophical principles,
adventurers and monsters mere lab animals in pitiless doctoral dissertation
12. Dead sorcerer's psyche inhabits incredibly muscular new body to resume
interrupted unholy schemes and research, bash a few heads for good measure
A Rumor of Dungeons
d12
1. Vast, yeti ghost-haunted cavern covered in obscene cave paintings allows access
to Underworld via mystic doorway that must be constructed of enshrined cave bear
skulls
2. Active ooze hive festers under the city, empties into nearby river/lake/sea, visited
by famous sorcerer who departed atop perfectly obedient colossal pudding-steed
3. Death row convicts attempting escape tunnelled into unknown chamber, their
dessicated corpses appeared on the courthouse steps at daybreak
4. Reasonably sane captain of the watch insists silver hatch appears beneath city
wall only when in direct light of full moon, swears invisible things come out
5. Cult membership of the God of Plenty make fortnightly journey to underground
complex in adjacent wilderness under the cover of night, never speak of it to
outsiders
6. Unpleasant music emanates from farmer's recently dug well

7. Prince's pyramid project halted by lack of shipments from new quarry, trusted
captain dispatched to investigate w/soldiery, not a peep
8. Sorcerer's griffin-borne aerial survey detects huge, ornately camouflaged
mountain top chimney spewing forth weird gases
9. Rocket-shaped wizard's tower takes off, sub-surface floors left unattended,
someone should at least strip the plumbing
10. Dragon moved in to proximate cavern not to plague the land in fulfillment of
dire prophecy as is the prevailing wisdom, but rather to jealously guard secret
entrance to antediluvian culture's treasure vaults
11. The Fetid Sewers of the Ancients drain into another world
12. War-gangs of ogres and mixed-humanoid lackeys loot frontier towns seemingly
emboldened by smart attire, beautifully crafted garments/armor, chaotic evil chic,
shields emblazoned with device of the Tailor Below

Dungeon Levels
Highlights of Dungeon Level One
d12
1. Wicked master of mind control accumulates riches by sending his ensorceled
hoard of berserkers on raids of nearby settlements, trade routes and wealthy
dungeon neighbors
2. Chain gang of escapees from the Mad Jailer on level two, unwilling to explain the
unoccupied set of bloodstained manacles
3. Dead end stair leading down, terminates in illusion-concealed pit filled with green
slime
4. Berserker crew assigned to rid the level of giant spider infestation: employ
predictably straight-forward approach, heavy casualties
5. Network of passageways and rooms impassably webbed: filled with loot-bearing
victims and rather large black widows
6. Conspiracy of neophyte thieves practicing moving silently from shadow to
shadow, picking no fights but on the watch for opportunities to improve backstabbing skills
7. Subhumans driven toward the surface by forces below cling ferociously to their
lightless culture and meager territory while simultaneously being exploited by said
forces

8. Vast and ancient chamber originally accessible only from below: cruder more
recent renovations broke through from level one, access to level two, haunted by
spirits of extinct prehumans
9. No man's land between subhuman and berserker areas w/improvised barricades,
shallow trenches, arrows shooting back and forth: littered with bodies, home to
single opportunistic ghoul
10. Skeleton-manned arms production facility, overseen by subhuman thugs
11. Chamber of automatic will annihilation and secret control booth
12. Ogre formerly employed on level two walking out in disgust, muttering about
back pay
The Cool Parts of Dungeon Level Two
d12
1. Necromancer's HQ w/secret stair access to surface: uses subhumans as buffer
against forces from below, serves as their occasional arcane savior
2. Seemingly bottomless and literally howling chasm separates factions, subhumans
have built up shrine on their side, offer sacrifices to the presumed howling deity
below, access to levels three and four, mountaineering required
3. Warlock and squad of bloodthirsty henchmen make full study of prehuman ruins,
have amassed significant hoard of relics
4. Dripping wet and humid natural caverns descend gradually to the lake on level
four, subhumans haul shipments of arms this way, simultaneously disposing of their
dead (and the necromancer's failed experiments) to appease predatory cave
monsters
5. Incredibly elaborate series of frescoes in vast hall depict in some detail the extraterrestrial origin of humankind
6. Partially looted royal catacombs of the extinct prehumans, signs of necromantic
tampering, access denied by massed skeleton warriors
7. Neutral slug folk protected by small private force of ogre mercenaries
(disgruntled): losses incurred in trade war prevent the slug folk from making their
payroll
8. Roving miasma of living gasses: stupefies upon inhalation, pursued by subhuman
addicts
9. A giant snake with eight insect-like legs roams the corridors, exhaling choking
black smoke

10. Herd of elusive dungeon deer on perpetual feeding migration through environs
to scattered moss and lichen beds, led by intelligent stag
11. Defensible and out-of-the-way room: automatic party ejector, one-way elevator
to surface
12. Gaming halls of slug folk: open to all and sundry, must buy at least 100gp worth
of tokens at well-guarded gates
Memorable Features of Dungeon Level Three
d12
1. Grand promenade of the prehuman city: cave tenements, former domain of the
subhumans, now housing for cult fanatics awaiting the arrival of their terrible deity
2. Ambient whirring from below as of a great engine pushed to its maximum
exertion
3. Anti-subhuman traps around perimeter: tripwire activated catapults loaded
w/nails and glass
4. Forum of the prehumans now used by cultists' for public execution of heretics,
captured enemies (especially numerous: albino mermen)
5. Deep dwarfs under contract to excavate new vaulted chamber to house cult
deity, will disallow any attempt to observe their work in progress
6. Scientific installation of the prehumans, refitted for sorcery by the cult high
priests: perpetual contact with deity established via huge half-magic communication
device
7. Howling chasm houses large hive of chaos flies, rapidly multiplying and growing
more bold in their choice of prey
8. Witch subsect of cult finds current leadership sub par, schemes dubious: planning
assassinations, looking to hire
9. Foulflow River enters several sections of level, currently alive with aggressive
giant phagocytes, harvested as protein source by subhumans, cultists, and several
species of subterranean monster
10. Natural caverns gradually descend to level four, former game preserve of the
prehuman civilization, still haunted by myriad horrors from the unguessed past
11. Giant river monster like a fetal bird that projects beams of terror from its
unopened eyes

12. Deep dwarfs carving out new underworld byway breach gas filled chamber,
releasing from stasis horde of headless naked man-creatures with two-handed
swords and little regard for their own safety
The Vital Bits of Dungeon Level Four
d12
1. Vast self-luminous lake of clear green water in incredibly huge cavern, partially
flooding numerous smaller caves: home to amphibious spiral shelled kraken and
their albino merman allies
2. Party of subhumans led by necromancer's chief associate w/shipment of arms
and secret communique for the merman theocrat
3. Giant jellyfish that hunt orca-style, beaching themselves to take terrestrial prey
4. Deep dwarfs nearing completion of centuries-long project to divert subterranean
river, massive pumping station ready to go online, will instantly alter ecosystem,
guarded by ogre and troll mercenaries
5. Half-flooded prehuman undercity, amphibious kraken oversee archaeological
study by cult hierophants
6. Waterspouts that seem to target and relentlessly pursue individuals until giving a
damn good thrashing or somehow dispersed
7. Mermen training in preparation for amphibious assault on deep dwarf river
project
8. Slug folk traders await shipment of subtlest liquors brewed by the mermen, a
chatty bunch
9. Domesticated lake monsters provide merman mass transit
10. Merman concierge station administers water breathing potions to underworld
traders and dispenses valuable hints on merman etiquette
11. Many-spired city of the mermen and their terrible secret: as a result of curse
females savage and terrifying flesh-eaters that must be kept imprisoned in sub-lake
breeding dome
12. Wandering deity: towering ebon figure hand fishes with mystically baited line
(catch and release), moving slowly about the lake and environs surrounded by
fawning merman fanatics incessantly pleading for removal of curse

Rooms
Details For the Otherwise Empty Dungeon Room

d12
1. Hundreds and hundreds of mouse-size holes of indeterminate depth
2. Walls composed of stone with dimly luminous veins of an unknown compound
3. Scything blade trap just inside the doorway, rusted in sprung position
4. Intricate mosaic spells out obscenities in ancient script
5. Blood trail leading to middle of wall (no secret door)
6. Gummy substance on top, bottom and sides of door: hermetically seals room
when closed
7. Some settling has occurred: unusual pitch of floor, walls and ceiling creates
optical illusion, seeming downgrade actually gentle incline
8. Sizable swarm of dungeon gnats forms into patterns that appear to be a
repeating series of runes
9. Heap of funerary ashes w/unidentifiable bone fragments
10. Packet of extremely old hard tack: now really quite hard indeed
11. Mirrored ceiling, clean(er) spots where furniture used to be
12. All-out insect war in progress: huge colonies chewed into opposite walls, floor
strewn with countless tiny casualties, sophisticated troop formations attempting to
outflank one another
In the Dungeon Larder
d12
1. Freshly harvested greens, seeds, roots, tubers, fruits, vegetables: 100% toxic to
humans
2. Giant-size tins of potted humanoid meats (unlabeled), two-handed can opener
3. Food processing/juicing device operated by hand crank, collection of tumblers
w/glass sipping straws, sieves, sinister-looking valves and rubber tubing, impeccably
clean
4. Mothballed full service staff of automatons in formal dress
5. Variety of aquariums/terrariums teeming w/live edible creatures (large juicy
insects, mollusks, small nearly featureless furry things, etc.) w/nearby barbecue pit
and iron skewers standing by

6. Casks and kegs filled with ichors, blood, bile, and other assorted body fluids
7. Heads aging in closet
8. Rather sparse in the food department, booze selection fully stocked and tastefully
chosen
9. Great loaves of dark brown bread cooling on rack, lots of small birds baked in
10. Disturbingly stinky wok, weird mutant fish from unknown depths on ice, not so
fresh
11. Yesterday's paella getting ripe and crusty in unwashed vessel, empty liquor
bottles scattered about
12. Mortar/pestle, tablet-making apparatus, many jars with powders of every hue,
chunks of soft chalky stones, large sacks loaded with coin-sized pills
In the Dungeon Torture Chamber
d12
1. Chatty fire elemental in brazier loaded w/irons
2. Extensive library featuring tedious volume after volume (ex. full and complete
history of the slug men, compiled minutes of the mercantile league's monthly
meetings going back decades, genealogy of hyper-prolific halfling clan), podium,
megaphone
3. Highly trained torture bard w/100% success rating, enchanted Lute of
Excruciation
4. Heap of bodies w/hollowed skulls, brains kept alive in nutrient bath, housed w/in
arcane agonizer units
5. Team of highly specialized dungeon fairies w/surgical approach to extracting
secrets
6. Temporarily abandoned confessor strapped into torture apparatus, unbroken,
much valuable information unrevealed
7. Half-dead giant in huge iron maiden, ready to strike bargain for release and will
abide by any terms set
8. Face and lips stretching device for use upon the vain
9. Spiked pit/adjustable bungee cord arrangement

10. Separate holding chambers each w/gated partition, adjacent rooms filled to gills
w/rats, scorpions, ravenous giant fleas or etc.
11. Walls adorned with stunning variety of hooks, barbed implements, tongs,
pincers, vices, blades of every description, pokers, prodders, whips, bludgeons, an
axe for any occasion, hammers, nails, etc. etc.
12. Torture chamber/gymnasium set-up wherein masked inquisitors use spare
moments to keep their muscles rippling for maximum efficiency

Dressing
Dungeon Audio
d12
1. Ambient grinding of tectonic plates
2. Distant crowd roars in approbation
3. Colossal footfalls draw inexorably nearer
4. Just beyond sight, a chitinous skittering
5. From below: a thunderous collapse
6. A series of staccato reports
7. Echoing voice screams out praise to unknown gods
8. Ahead: the distinctively insane piping of the cube jelly
9. Human-like choir of the highest order
10. Pathetic puppy-like whimper (mating call of the tomb worm)
11. Impossibly, the sound of heavy rain and thunder
12. Unseen orchestra performs selections by Basil Poledouris
Dungeon Corpses
d12
1. Dead thief collapsed half-way through a secret door
2. Eleven dead man-apes covered with sucker marks
3. Three dessicated husks of the dwarfish persuasion
4. Human-type creature blasted to tiny bits

5. The head of a hill giant with a message in his teeth

6. Area filled with reeking/disintegrating horror of ichor and tentacles
7. Five bandits and their leader fallen upon own swords
8. Three ornately armored warriors crushed almost flat
9. Two green halfling bodies still clutching their throats
10. Beheaded dragon (loot free)
11. Spear-impaled berserker with sword thrust through face of adjacent berserk
12. Wizard with smoking neck-stump
Dungeon Statuary (Inanimate)
d12
1. Smashed fragments of classical-type statues wired together into startling
aggregation of body parts
2. Three-dimensional representation of multi-dimensional entity: staring at shadow
causes debilitating sensory bewilderment
3. Megalodon-sized stone jaws of A'chth the All-consuming: heaped with freshly
sacrificed comestibles
4. Huge ancient earthenware bowl of unknown provenance set on grand pedestal
(recent work): filled with green flames that utterly destroy anything placed inside
5. Colossal fertility idols of the extinct giants
6. Totem pole-like column of unknown creatures topped with a human form: yields
disturbing evolutionary facts
7. Incomprehensibly abstract design: magic-enhanced study reveals 3D map of
dungeon
8. Ancient king in primitive garb: facial features dead ringer for one of the PCs
9. Bas relief hewn into dungeon wall portrays titanic god-monster emerging from
underground and smashing surface civilizations Godzilla-like
10. Stone-carved coin of the realm on pedestal, 12 feet in diameter
11. Henge-sized stone slab inscribed with entire history of extinct people in tiny
letters

12. Polished granite dodecahedron surrounded by tiny figures bent in supplication

Even the Doors are Weird
d12
1. Made of semi-permeable tissue: only organic material may pass through
2. Enchanted talking door w/ service-oriented attitude, only knows about things a
door would care about
3. Composed of a living aggregate of insects clinging to one another: strict entrance
policy
4. Fashioned of cast iron and set in solid stone with 3 giant deadbolts on the outside
5. Randomly opens and closes w/ damaging force
6. Unauthorized tampering activates hysterical magic mouth alarm: "They're
touching me! They're trying to open me!"
7. Door made entirely of doorknobs: must turn correct knobs in succession for entry
8. Carved in shape of ogre face with gaping maw: must be fed for entry
9. Coin slot above handle: 10 gold pieces to unlock (each way)
10. Surface of door has 5 hand-shaped indentations: opens when all are occupied
simultaneously
11. Several life-like eyeballs set into door closely scrutinize those in proximity
12. Surface of door inscribed with huge letters reading "You are weak.": combined
strength of 4 men required to turn huge knob
Fluids in the Dungeon Well
d12
1. Single tear of a titan shed in cosmic anguish
2. Clear lubricant 100 times more slippery than oil
3. Dwarf water: magically condensed, one small vial/day to maintain peak hydration
4. Enough deadly virus-laden slough to infect a city or two
5. Black water: potable but temporarily renders skin as pitch
6. Digestive juices of the well-shaped beast

7. Repulsive soup of decomposition

8. Industrial-strength solvent
9. Liquid nitrogen
10. Protoplasmic stew burgeoning with Cambrian explosion-like panoply of novel life
forms
11. Nutritionally complete monster fuel
12. Liquid evil
It's on the Ceiling!
d12
1. d100 Swords of Damocles
2. City of the Intellectual Bats
3. Manhole-like trap door to maintenance level
4. Tapestry of webs depicting events in spider history
5. Stalactite pueblo dwellers: evil dungeon fairies
6. Adventurers impaled on barbed spikes
7. The furniture: nailed up by prankster
8. Alarming amount of dripping water and muddy seepage
9. Pulsating illumination from strange glass tubes in metal fixtures
10. Shriekers!
11. Eyes (d1000)
12. Hand-chiseled diagram of dungeon level
Puzzling Evidence in the Corridor
d12
1. Shallow hole in wall with debris and broken pick lying nearby
2. An unidentifiable green stain on the floor, smells a bit
3. A still-smoldering torch
4. Heaps of recently deceased rats: not a mark on them

5. Loose flagstones in floor leading nowhere

6. Large "X" carved in wall
7. A half-melted sword
8. Abandoned nests of dungeon swallow colony
9. Very large fragments of purple eggshell
10. Clean bones of small animals arranged into incomprehensible patterns on floor
11. Claw-rent and useless steel chest plate
12. A huge earthenware dish half filled with dirty water
More Weird Pools
d12
1. The sacred pool of the cave beetle god: surrounded by millions of the tiny zealots
in droning prayer
2. The Black Soup of Life: coughs up random embryonic magical beasts
3. The cloning pool: any living thing touching the pool is perfectly cloned in 24 hours
*
4. Purple baptismal pond of indelible staining
5. Pool of cold liquid gold: assumes normal state when exposed to sunlight
6. Booze pool: run-off from the deep dwarf distillery
7. Monster oasis: temporary detente between otherwise natural enemies,
adventurers not included
8. Translucent predatory protoplasm doing best impression of a pool
9. The pool of growth: any being or object fully immersed permanently doubles in
size
10. "Bottomless" pool: trans-dimensional portal
11. The waters of enlightenment: drinking imparts 1d6 minutes of god-like
intelligence followed by recuperative coma lasting 1d6 hours
12. Hot Tub of the Gods
This Dungeon Has Weird Floors

d12
1. Translucent material with swirling phantasms beneath
2. Stretched reptile hide
3. Cushy fungi carpet
4. Covered in thick layer of a very fine white powder (instantly airborne)
5. Hot to the touch, protective footwear required
6. Slightly bouncy: enhances jumps once mastered
7. Complex mosaic filled w/ancient coded messages
8. Acid-polished to near-frictionless condition
9. Deep semi-circular groove worn down center
10. Undulates rhythmically
11. Cunning tile arrangement produces optical illusion of tilt
12. Randomly semi-permeable
Weird Dungeon Fog
d12
1. Depilatory fog: released by a deranged sorcerer for an unknown purpose, roams
corridors searching for the hirsute
2. Fog of Sticky Accretion: lengthy exposure reveals adhesive build up on surfaces,
swords stick in their scabbards, the friendly shoulder-pat becomes a drawn out affair
3. Fog bank that is actually a swarm of microscopic winged crustaceans, able to
strip corpses in seconds
4. Hygroscopic fog: sucks the moisture from living beings for dessication damage,
lethal to slugmen
5. Fog Bank of the Impromptu Dance: compels those within to gyrate rhythmically
for 1d6 minutes, if engaged in combat: dance fight!
6. Luxuriant Vapors of Cleanliness: often located in basins, tubs and sealed
chambers, soothes, calms and renders impeccably spic and span
7. Black fog: a roving patch of total darkness (as spell, but can be dispersed by
wind/other disturbances)

8. Swirling Banks of Obfuscation: arcane fog generally invoked to add another layer
of security to hidden treasures and secrets, also employed to further conceal pits
and other deathtraps
9. Vernal Mist of Enlightenment: dungeon secrets enter the brains of those exposed
via osmosis
10. Fog of Amnesia: renders those within its influence utterly clueless until they
escape, wizards lose random spells
11. Fog of Eros: arouses otherwise latent passions, especially efficacious on the
most repressed personalities
12. Hot volcanic fog: looks normal, burns like hell

Encounters
NPC Encounters: Dungeon Level One
d12
1. High level wizard in full regalia, torn, blood-spattered, black-feathered arrows in
back, out of spells, dazed and desperate, clutches still-smoking wand of fireballs
with single charge remaining
2. Mystic levitating in lotus position, zooms through dungeon in search of (presumed
dead) acolyte charmed into joining band of upstart scoundrels, issues brief but
trenchant verbal dressing-down to any adventurers
3. Furious pirate captain w/squad of the vilest sea-dogs conducts brutal search for
pick-pocket who slithered below with enchanted sextant, cutlasses drip with vital
fluids of the last one to refuse questioning
4. Ogre with new found culinary passion has no interest in dispatching surface
dwellers despite extremely ferocious appearance, will trade notched war axe for
wine/spices/cooking equipment, found dead body of acolyte (see entry 2) and wants
to do something really special with it
5. Impaled warrior still on feet despite near-total blood loss thinks he remembers
where he dropped a sack of huge gems
6. Junior thieves hide in shadows while moving silently having stolen the kobold
czar's silver circlet as part of an initiation ritual, unfortunately for them the relic
glows powerfully through any wrapping
7. Mayor of nearby town in false mustache and cloak w/giant bodyguard (hairless
and mute but just rippling with bone-cracking muscles), dismissed from latest

mandatory secret meeting with dungeon overlord, human sacrifice demands

doubled
8. Barbarian w/gore-smeared bastard sword goes to great lengths to get
adventurers to indicate direction of exit while concealing total bewilderment,
suggestions that he might be lost illicit foaming over-reaction
9. Quite powerful witch from across the way (accompanied by pair of towering
headless kung-fu zombies) awaits arrival of local celebrity witch, irritation increases
with each passing minute
10. Knight with crumpled helm and caved-in cuirass crawls toward the exit
muttering about the "fist from below"
11. Thief concealing enchanted sextant (see entry 3) rushes to lower levels to meet
underworld connections, knows secret way through the Corridor of Twenty Traps
12. Swarm of dark elf children tethered together by neck-harnesses scamper about
snake-like having escaped their keeper, a ghastly troll hag now desperate enough to
ask surface folk for assistance
NPC Encounters: Dungeon Level Two
d12
1. Magic-user w/flaming beard howls with mad laughter, barely able to walk,
propped up by several sabre-toothed ape servitors, en route to level ten in great
haste, adventuring rabble quite beneath contempt
2. Ogre field medic carrying black doctor's bag, extensive surface-war experience,
will exchange dicey healing skills for cash, loves to dicker while patients bleed out
3. Underworld ranger moves noiselessly through dungeon on courier mission for
petty boss, cuts down any who even momentarily impede progress, wax-sealed
scroll contains pathetic plea for a couple of days worth of black lotus tar
4. The Masked Pamphleteer: exceedingly nimble, all-concealing ninja-like garb, glass
globes filled with poison gas, flits about distributing latest anti-dungeon-hierarchy
screed, slipping them beneath doors, leaving piles by watering holes, at pit bottom,
etc.
5. Disembodied troll head painstakingly lips and tongues its way back to level three
to rejoin the rest of its body, presumably still locked in combat with teleportation
specialist and armed associates
6. Intelligent cephalopod in tank on litter borne by squad of fishman warriors
discusses alliance with humanoid field marshals planning coup

7. Evil faith healer from underworld temple offers services in exchange for oaths of
fealty/monetary sacrifice, cautions all re: highly unreliable new-fangled battlefield
medicine as practiced by ogre (see entry 2)
8. Warrior with face melted by eldritch sorcery staggers to and fro senselessly, has
no mouth but would love to warn adventurers of mind-bending dangers on level
three
9. Intelligent giant lizard capable of speech attempts to convince adventurers to
exterminate nearby colony of giant beetles with taste for intelligent lizard eggs,
beetles keep getting more intelligent with every devoured clutch
10. Evil merchant with two black eyes and blood streaming from nose staggers in a
panic, carrying on about ruination, fleeing confrontation w/extremely dissatisfied
vampire customer, travel sack loaded with concentrated wealth
11. Multi-talented entertainer with cadre of hangers-on dragging trunks full of
costumes, musical instruments, theatrical props, flees toward secret passage to
surface, subject to summary execution following seditious portrayal of dungeon
overlord
12. Gill-man in jellyfish leather togs and fluid-filled glass dome helmet w/wicked
black trident walks razor-tusked walrus on retractable tether while chatting with
star-struck gaggle of humanoid royals about assassinating intelligent cephalopod
from entry 6.
NPC Encounters: Dungeon Level Three
d12
1. Psychic sculptor: telekinetically operates rather fearsome hammer and chisel,
tags dungeon walls w/obscene bas relief
2. Celebrity witch rides headless giant bat at top speed through corridors pursued
by throng of gibbering humanoid fans, clearly delighted with attention
3. Delivery-giant in smart uniform puzzles over location to drop off pallet load of
canned processed human meat product
4. Exhausted but still hyper-competent humanoid gladiator w/bag full of personally
severed heads looks for crooked and currently missing underworld bookie to settle
accounts
5. Official tax collector for the dungeon overlord: massive humanoid with giant
glowing multifaceted eyes, black armor of wrought meteoric iron, posse of heavily
armed leech men, adventurers commanded to instantly remit thief tax calculated on
the spot by quick visual assessment of means

6. Paladin in fire-blackened plate, once-glorious hairdo burned to scalp, eyebrowless,

formerly booming basso voice reduced to choked whisper, smiles crazily and keeps
repeating "it wasn't a dragon!"
7. Typically precocious dark elf children, clad in superb chitin mail, armed to teeth,
scamper about setting experimental man-traps for a school project despite feeble
protestations by local humanoids too terrified to fully assert themselves
8. Teleportation specialist wizard and gaggle of expert cut-throats congratulate one
another on recent victory against troll, squabble about loot division
9. Human mercenary in skin tight action suit w/ rapier, dagger, armor-piercing
specialist of the utmost skill, leads frail bald human in stained hospital gown
w/power to detect gold at 120 feet
10. Dungeon serial killer concealed by magic-enhanced camouflage bides time
waiting for ideal victim, can remain motionless for hours
11.The Sword of Inquiry, intelligent relic w/personality of a chat show host, cruises
the dungeon under its own power of levitation, freed from locked trunk in troll hoard
by adventuring crew (see entry 8), willing to team up with the right warrior but only
after extensive interview process
12. Expert monster wrangler in safari outfit meets w/ghoulish dungeon banker to
discuss security options for proposed branch, site currently infested with entirely
disposable humanoid population
NPC Encounters: Dungeon Level Four
d12
1. Three identical clones of unknown wizard, naked but for bloodstained hands, flee
madly from crime scene, beards still dripping with amniotic fluid, each have terrible
eyes
2. Slender human with horse head, huge flaming glaive, stitches and staples visible
at ragged neckline, totes bale of hay, satchel of sugar cubes, unable to speak but
taps out messages with feet
3. Freelance torturer nervously brandishing official letter from dungeon overlord
heads toward level ten to begin gig, cart load of implements hauled by undead
manservant
4. High priest of heinous underworld cult in tattered vestments on deity-mandated
apology tour after years of mismanagement/malfeasance
5. Gill-man police detective in jellyfish leather uniform and fluid-filled glass helmet
hunts gill-man assassin last seen on level two

6. Giant termite queen of surprising intellect scopes out possible sites for depositing
one zillion eggs
7. Warlock with magic rope and squad of charmed humanoids, tracks movements of
escaped horse-head experiment (entry 2) with extreme caution
8. Victorian gentleman explorer from adjacent dimension seeks blacksmith to repair
mole-tank abandoned on level five, just unloaded revolver into dog-sized miniature
sphinx to excellent effect but currently unarmed
9. Barbarian w/quite impressive mutton-chops, countless arrows and spears
protruding from fur-clad body, left for dead by party, wears ring of regeneration and
will be coming around any moment
10. Former lawful warrior reincarnated as hideous dungeon pixie leaves dungeon in
disgust via secret exit, complains bitterly about fellow dungeoneers, now exploring
level 5
11. Purveyor of fine poisons with case handcuffed to wrist, escorted to celebrity
witch's lair by squad of towering headless zombies
12. Synthetic humanoid, rejected for unanticipated level of hubris, escaped mass
extermination then came across bodies of adventurers killed suddenly by poison
gas, now wears cloak of concealment, carries stiletto enchanted to ignore armor,
2d4 exploding gems, small fortune in gold
NPC Encounters: Dungeon Level Five
d12
1. Tall fellow in high-collared black cloak looks like he wants to parley but then froglike extensible tongue studded with razor-sharp obsidian starts darting about
2. Experimental horse-man (man-head grafted sloppily onto pony-body): escaped
from lab, in search of man-horse last seen on level four and good sorcerer/surgeon
3. Noted sorcerer/surgeon, recently trampled (by entry 2), in state of general
discombobulation, levitating at top speed on iron disk, every death spell available
on the tip of tongue
4. General of recognizable surface force, practically aglow with enchanted
arms/armor, en route to level ten under protection of brother-sister bodyguard
team, each sibling master of complimentary martial art
5. World bodybuilding champion of the cave giants sporting truly staggering
physique, in repose on litter borne by a platoon of ogres, eating elf-heads like
grapes, separate platoon hauls portable workout rig, pretty sure everyone he sees is
a big fan

6. Humanoid in hazmat suit w/insignia of sorcerer (see entry 3) runs about in a

panic opening doors and screaming about "imminent core melt-down in the
humanimal amalgamator"
7. Expert burglar suffering from magical amnesia can't recall where he got the facemelting wand, but doesn't feel at all comfortable about holding on to it
8. Smug warlock major domo leads crew of headless kung-fu zombies bearing
broken body of escaped former paramour of celebrity witch, moving towards level
four
9. Sword master from famous surface duelling school, identity shrouded by magic,
hell bent on proposing marriage to medusa in nearby lair, ritual suicide blade oiled
and ready in the event of rejection
10. Lone barbarian, unarmed after losing battle with pack of sphinx-dogs, lurks in
shadows waiting for someone to amble by w/a huge axe or something
11. Gill-man Homeland Security Chief in dapper jellyfish leather parade dress,
surrounded by personal guard, nervously makes way toward level ten anticipating
assassination attempt at any moment
12. Pre-human king of antediluvian provenance, accidentally freed from stony
imprisonment by interlopers from surface, flexes restored muscles by kicking the
ass of anyone who happens by while mental faculties slowly come back on-line
NPC Encounters: Dungeon Level Six
d12
1. Gibbering warrior w/crazy eyes carries on about "the mouth in the shadows"
while wandering aimlessly dragging 50' rope tied into hangman's noose
2. Powerful sorcerer, stripped of goods, nude but for sigil-inscribed underpants,
huge bruised knot on forehead, still groggy after suffering recent KO at the hands of
fellow adventurers
3. Ghost of former cleric just wants to talk for a minute about the good news, new
revelation: the gods can (and must) be killed
4. Deeply evil but entirely reasonable witch wrapping up spell component gathering
mission to nether corners of level, loaded w/various psychoactive fungi, willing to
trade for interesting eldritchery
5. Radical cave giant in open revolt against dungeon powers-that-be issues rousing
semi-intelligible political speech to any within earshot, will not be exploited again by
dungeon autocracy, will hurl boulders only for the betterment of fellow underworld
terrors

6. Unintentionally summoned demon chews necromancer haunch while taking

leisurely walking tour of interesting dungeon locales
7. Paladin in semi-gleaming mail staggers a bit but looks fine until he raises his visor
and its plain to see he's a walking dungeon plague vector
8. Noble surface-aristocrat-turned-expert-assassin on mission to destroy the radical
cave giant (entry 5), but may actually agree w/rudimentary populism
9. Slight human form seems to be wearing shaggy sweater, no wait, its made of
zillions of living chaos mosquitoes but don't worry, the being assures, they only eat
a little
10. Radiant angelic form nailed to floor by iron spike through foot, bats eyelashes,
politely asks for assistance
11. Wizard w/perhaps the tallest conical hat on record tries to bamboozle last
healing potion from pair of wary fighters with carefully worded rationales, the lot of
them multiply punctured by tiny bites of some kind
12. Warrior w/prehensile mustache, sole survivor of total party kill, willing to share
location of museum loaded w/bejewelled statuary, doesn't mention that its also a
breeding ground for weird chimera
NPC Encounters: Dungeon Level Seven
d12
1. Big game hunter answering call for same issued by resident quasi-lich who feels
proliferation of ropers obscures view of attractive scintillant gas cloud effusing from
paleogean fissure, neanderthal side-kick drags cart loaded with specialized antimonster implements
2. Brewmaster general (half-drunk), muscles like steel bands due to hefting kegs
day and night, mighty war-maul ready to smash any who interfere w/deliveries,
equally mighty brew-apes (drunk) haul twelve varieties of craft beers and ales, each
uniquely horrible
3. Unaccompanied sorcerer in striped raiment: all spells somehow bee-themed (ex:
contact other hive, summon giant bee), bits of honeycomb in beard, likes to discuss
all things apian pretty much exclusively, insufferable, abandoned by party when
caught in web, royal jelly sampler w/variety of magical effects
4. Humanoid executive chef on rampage, tunic spattered w/remnants of deceased
kitchen staff, rants in outrageous accent as great cleaver waves around menacingly,
needs replacement staff instantly to complete dinner service for dungeon overlord
and important guests

5. Necromancer's aide, exceptionally bright humanoid in black lab coat, did a quick
loot of late master's chambers after terrible incident (see level six), laden with
interesting items in large sack, makes bee-line for buyer on level eight
6. Masterful thief w/two broken legs crawling in shadows following unfortunate
dispute with Brewmaster (entry 2), concealed scroll contains partial maps of levels
8-10)
7. Human from surface with fish symbol emblazoned on silk cape, dorsal fin helmet,
elbow length black safety gloves, pushes hand truck with sealed leather bags
containing live giant leeches for quasi-lich's aquarium
8. Evil gentleman of leisure w/armed-to-the-teeth undead manservant (zombie-like
but very spry) makes notes in leather book, working on encyclopedia of underworld
phenomena, seems friendly but dispenses nothing but intentionally misleading
dungeon lore
9. Highly eligible troll maiden towers over throng of suitors pitching their nauseating
woo, most she rebukes with verbal crudities, the more revolting she effortlessly
tears limb from limb
10. Monster dentist brandishes official dungeon pass issued by overlord, terrifying
tool kit, collection of weird monster teeth, needed for emergency extraction on level
10
11. Dungeon census official, tall and gaunt humanoid with pair of luminous ocular
enhancers, takes information of any encountered, notifies tax collector (see level
three) via telepathy of any unauthorized looters, carries rod of summary execution,
squad of bloodthirsty ghoul attendants in war harness
12. Real estate developer for dungeon overlord, human shaped but covered in
glistening ebon scales, blood-red forked tongue waggling provocatively during lulls
in conversation, constant unsettling smile, shows empty rooms to vampire looking
for new digs
NPC Encounters: Dungeon Level Eight
d12
1. Ten foot tall multi-tentacled service creature w/pleasant facial expression
balances 2d4 trays loaded with exotic cocktails, glides toward nearby bacchanal,
marsupial-like pouch stuffed with tips, unleashes stream of toxic bile if agitated
2. Drunk and disorderly demon princeling, fresh from making public ass of self in
front of superiors, could possibly achieve redemption w/particularly tasty human
sacrifice were one to present itself

3. Evil dramatist w/transparent skin and leathery wings works frantically on last
minute revisions to short piece for imminent performance, reads out parts to self,
weeping exasperated acid tears, willing to write in parts for adventurers who have
that certain special something
4. Wily expert thief hides in roast catoblepas carcass left to rest before service,
waiting for opportunity to flee the scene w/bejewelled goblet enchanted to
transmute wine into lethal poison
5. Enlarged paladin in black greasepaint w/impala horns glued to head pretends to
be a demon guest but is sweating off his disguise, improvised faux-evil dialogue not
so hot either, ready to create distraction according to plan already abandoned by
cohorts
6. Ten foot tall multi-tentacled service creature relieved of duty after finishing off
countless leftover beverages, bitter, vengeful, loopy, desperately needs new
employers, built up toxic bile ready for discharge at even the slightest provocation
7. Breathless barbarian mouths pithy rebuke to so-called gods, smacking forehead
with flat of gore-streaked two-handed sword, working up quite a froth before rushing
headlong into battle against forces beyond barbarous comprehension
8. Noted surface sorcerer dripping with rings, talismans, charms, tries to look
inconspicuous, whispers instructions to invisible companion, fiddles nervously with
luminous wand topped with tiny human-like skulls
9. Horrified local monarch pales visibly reading over fine print on freshly signed
contract, equally rattled court vizier attempts to get it together enough to read
scroll of teleportation
10. Monster husbandry master attempts emergency surgical intervention on prone
and gasping giant horror, recently hacked by barbarian (see entry 7), demonic
owner looks on helplessly
11. Dealer with the face of a star-nosed mole readies displays of wicked armaments
enchanted to smite the good, lawful, noble
12. High priest of surface temple webbed to corner chants feebly, still unbroken
despite obvious abuse, crudely written sign at feet reads "please punch me in the
face"
NPC Encounters: Dungeon Level Nine
d12
1. Partially stupefied giant, earmarked for cult sacrifice but now making a break for
it, shaved, tattooed, diapered, envenomed darts sticking out of all parts north and
south

2. The All Henchmen Brigade: loose confederation of various former hirelings gone
rogue, opportunistic treasure scavengers, they hate adventurers above all
3. Chained to wall: entire party of adventurers formerly under the command of
enlarged paladin on level eight
4. Iron clad Templar of Evil w/highly opinionated sentient greatsword chortles
mirthlessly having just won a handsome purse in sadistic office wager
5. Purveyor of dark temple goods unpacks cases from payload area of giant pack
ape, in stock: sacrificial blades of every size/shape, wicked skull-emblazoned
raiment in assortment of garish colors, hallucinogenic incense, supersized tins of
shelf-stable chicken blood, etc
6. Cult loremaster, frail, emaciated, head drooping under weight of giant ram's
horns, reads from ambulatory lectern/land squid stacked with exceedingly rare
tomes (of Chaos), automatically surprised, knows several death spells
7. Lava-man monarch, not quite sure about converting to cult despite being wined
and dined, unimpressed with diabolical organization, more than happy to share
opinions with strangers
8. Cult musical director, human shaped w/spider face, decked out in regal finery,
paces on ceiling, hums to self composing strange, discordant fanfare for upcoming
occasion: material advent of unspeakable deity
9. Crack squad of feral humanoid blowgun experts under command of famously
missing surface criminal mastermind, trying to pick up the trial of partially stupefied
giant (entry 1)
10. Former official tax collector for dungeon overlord, massive human form but
whale skull for a head, huge luminous multifaceted eyes, stripped of authority after
accusation of embezzlement, placidly awaits execution
11. Quite powerful sorcerer w/malfunctioning wand of teleportation, was aiming for
subterranean kingdom beneath distant island, tries to get bearings without
revealing utter cluelessness
12. Hulking cult executioner, mighty arm in sling, attended by faithful axe caddy,
seeks out emergency healing in order to complete sacrifices required by ritual
already in progress
NPC Encounters: Dungeon Level Ten
d12
1. Dungeon Overlord's chief of staff, scarred around head where extra brains
surgically crammed in, just called onto carpet for constant security breaches, flop

sweat, offers unregistered guests cash bribe for immediate departure via secret
passage to surface
2. Giant w/sledgehammer hand, sack of huge nails, takes down mummified remains
of adventurers from display wall, cart load of freshies ready to go up
3. Renowned master thief in flowing cape, rumors of death greatly exaggerated,
following mental collapse believes self to be ancient vampire
4. Wizard (out of spells) with nasty leg wound, recently defrocked cleric on the outs
w/deity bleeding from face, drag limp armored form, rather chewed, certain they are
pursued by actual Hounds of Hell
5. Dungeon Overlord's personal trainer in colorful skin-tight singlet, headband,
vestigial bat wings, impeccably muscled body a high-tension wire, highly
aggressive/volatile personality, no appreciable combat skills
6. Eccentric artist from surface, borne aloft by the ever-fluttering silk scarf of
hovering, demonic significant other (jet-black, stunningly beautiful, porcupine quills
instead of hair), lampoon the foibles of second half of D.O.'s super-armor design
team (entry 7)
7. Evil dwarf armorer/engineer stomps around in huff, mutters about contacting
union steward to get him out of the super-armor contract (see entry 6), huge
adamant slide-rule beheads on critical hit
8. Recently revivified genocide-beetle scientist from ten million years in the past,
tech advisor to D.O., oversees disinterment of paleogean death-science laboratory
by devolved service beetles
9. Harem manager, towering androgyne, refugee from alien sphere destroyed in
arcane incident, ninety-nine problems coming to head simultaneously, shredding
documents with curving finger-claws, contemplates options, considering taking job
with vampire lord in neighboring dungeon complex, knows semi-direct underworld
route, needs bodyguards
10. Ghost of noted ancient philosopher/genius, policy advisor to D.O., insists (with
all due politeness) adventurers follow to Overlord's chamber as proof positive of
security issues
11. Surface monarch from nation thought to be bastion of good, full regal finery
including many sparkling gems and luminous circlet of station, unsightly bite marks
on neck (see entry 3), looking for security chief to file complaint
12. D.O.'s deep tissue massage therapist, grotesquely swollen land-kraken w/kindly
human-like face, out-of-control drooling problem, tentacles strong enough to rip a
man in half, simultaneously able to perform the most delicate of tasks

Wandering the Dungeon Self-righteously

d12
1. Lone paladin on one man anti-chaos crusade: scorched, bleeding, half his onceshining plate armor missing, crazed look of maniacal enthusiasm
2. Procession of sun god acolytes loaded down with implements of destruction en
route to desecrate shrine of enemy deity
3. Victim of fantasy psychosis believes self to be messianic fulfilment of prophecy
4. Gaggle of adventurers bearing corpse of honored comrade: easily ticked off
5. Newly christened doom cultists prattle ceaselessly about their tedious conversion
experiences
6. Back from the dead to everyone's surprise, the rightful heir to the dungeon
7. Plague doctor and medical assistants w/deceased specimen on stretcher gleefully
race to laboratory
8. Envoy from underworld civilization makes way to surface w/message of campaign
world-shattering importance
9. United Factions peacekeeping forces
10. Surface world prince w/full retinue & elite troopers on mission to rescue
kidnapped noble
11. Imperial Dungeon Inspectors (actually impostors)
12. Hell-bent unicorn on mission of darkest vengeance against evil
Wandering Dungeon Friendlies
d12
1. Masterless dungeon hound: highly skilled, fond of dwarfs
2. Unguent salesman w/ hulking half-giant bodyguard
3. Extremely charismatic mercenary recruiter w/ sergeant and recent hires
4. Humorless missionaries from the Temple of Neutrality
5. Overfull ogre, picking adventurers from teeth, drunk on stolen wine and quite
jolly
6. Escaped chain gang from subterranean dwarf work camp

7. Young nobles in tattered finery, recently vampirized and released to own devices
8. Contingent of arms dealers transporting stock of cheap weapons and
reconditioned armor, eager to buy and sell
9. Fungus-man monks: unbelievably serene, supremely self-actualized, totally nonviolent and practically unkillable
10. Insufferably pompous paladin and his equally zealous all-sidekick crew
11. A good-natured talking giant snake asking politely for sightings of nearby vermin
12. Dungeon pimp and his foxy stable
Wandering Dungeon Mysteries
d12
1. Slithering animate rope with hangman's noose
2. 1d12 mindless clones of wizard near starvation
3. Flying ink inscriptions: escaped entries from spell book
4. Skeleton dancers giving wandering performance
5. Free-roaming continual light spell
6. Ensorceled thieves giving out gold and gems to passersby
7. Disembodied hand compulsively opening doors
8. The ghost of an intelligent sword (adds bonus to attack of ally)
9. Spirit-eating phantasmal predator
10. Rapidly exiting man-like creature made from gold pieces
11. Phalanx of floating shields and spears
12. Re-animated roast ox on spear-like spit
The Wandering Monsters Encountered Each Other: Dungeon Level One
Table One: Humans and the Like
d12
1. Warpack of puny humanoids, armed to teeth, search for rumored evil hobbit
assassins but minimally enthusiastic due to crappy pay, poor benefits package

2. Noble paladin w/damn good reason for seizing treasures already

captured/coveted by PCs, led by very bossy talking enchanted sword of the utmost
lawful goodness, six jittery men-at-arms
3. Invisible necromancer in a huff about vandalized zombie servitors rushes back to
lair, carries on heated conversation w/self
4. Supremely overconfident surface wizard of means hauled around in palanquin
surrounded by scads of charmed hirelings
5. Berserkers calming down after zombie beheading spree, dripping sweat, gore
spattered, guzzle booze from wine skins
6. Puny humanoid body-builders en route to gymnasium discuss feats of strength
past and future
7. Evil hobbits hired to assassinate necromancer try to remain unseen while
attempting to flee the dungeon
8. Lone troll w/enormous appetite after grueling bit of regeneration slums it on level
one in search of easy chow, sick and tired of combat, seeks parlay where possible
9. Blind sword master w/encyclopedic knowledge of proximate dungeon levels,
returning to extract pay from necromancer after mission to level three, issues
challenge for single combat to any w/sword
10. Intelligent apes from nearby cave system carry great burlap sacks, hunt puny
humanoids
11. Evil priest and squad of action acolytes lead chain gang of surface humans
earmarked for cult sacrifice on level three
12. Warriors of entirely different evil cult roam corridors hoping to ambush, seize
sacrifice candidates from priest in entry 11 for their own unspeakable deity

Table Two: Dungeon Predators/Scavengers/Idiots

d12
1. Weird giant rats
2.Owlsnakes hungry for giant rats, no matter how weird
3. Recently decapitated zombies stagger around at random flailing blindly at
anything
4. Large transparent ooze w/two struggling humans inside busy looking for private
spot to digest cult warriors that took wrong turn

5. Stench beetle shoots first, doesn't bother w/questions, sticky aromatic fluid
accurate up to 30' (see subtable)
6. Huge spiders that travel by casting webs, swinging from ceiling like that comic
book character, venom dissolves troll flesh like acid
7. Intact zombies armed w/heads of decapitated fellows still capable of bite attacks
8. Ceiling-crawling dungeon leeches as long as your arm, several bloated w/caustic
troll blood
9. Giant army ants drag dead cultists to nearby mound
10. Flightless pteradactyls w/massive talons search for carrion
11. Giant cave salamander w/spiked tail like stegosaurus makes beeline for
stagnant pool on level two
12. Skeletons of deceased acrobats w/moves like Jackie Chan on hunt for evil hobbit
assassins
Stench Beetle Aroma Table (characters hit by blast must contend w/overwhelming
malignant odor for 1d12 hours)
d12
1-2. Offensive cologne overdose
3-4. Hot garbage
5-6. Sickly sweet smell of death
7-8. Sizzling bacon (attracts monsters/gluttonous humans)
9-10. Satan's outhouse
11-12. 1000 neglected litter boxes
Unusual Dungeon Pets
d12
1. Giant paramecium in tank (eats goldfish)
2. Moon cat (lives on ceiling)
3. Herd of micro-horses in scenic terrarium
4. Chimp bodyguard in custom plate armor
5. Overweight giant spider, very friendly, likes to nuzzle

6. Collection of living disembodied heads

7. Dentured ocelot on a leash
8. Pet boulder (a lively conversationalist according to owner)
9. Baluchitherium in specially maintained enviro-cave
10. Giant walking catfish
11. Fully-functional miniature pet volcano
12. Chihuahua/hell-hound hybrid
Pesky Dungeon Infestations
d12
1. Alchemy mites: eat gold, excrete lead
2. Scintillating mold: hypnotic effect when viewed, trolls watch it for hours
3. Rock eating bacteria: excavation bio-tool gone feral, undermines walls, floors etc.
4. Stone slime: as green slime but perfectly camouflaged
5. Black widow super colony
6. Cadaver ants: dissect corpses to bring into huge nest, store gold in deep
chambers
7. Primordial fleas (thumb sized): inert until activated by body heat
8. Whimpering toadstools: like shriekers, only merely annoying
9. Necrophagic fungus: consumes soft tissues, adheres to skeleton for locomotion,
keeps adding new skeletons to it's mass until it becomes a vast centipede-like
horror
10. Blink lice: short range teleportation
11. Highly aggressive intestinal worms (rope sized), any host will do
12. Microscopic arcanaphagic flora: enter lungs, eat spells
Now Occupying the Recently Depopulated Dungeon Area
d12
1. Giant tarantula has the place completely enveloped in webs, deposited egg sack
and scampered off before the cannibalistic little buggers hatch

2. Massive bioluminescent fungal bloom of every hue speeds decomposition of

deceased former denizens, continuously launching a noxious miasma of spores
3. Cube jelly has oozed through the wall, now making a clean sweep of things
4. Battered bandit leader and remaining body guards in retreat from superior forces,
looking to hole up and lick their wounds
5. Hiding under whatever debris/corpses might be available, an escaped
prisoner/hostage
6. Owlbear meticulously grooming itself after run-in with acid pudding (absorbed in
its work and easily surprised), telegraphed by strong stench of partially digested fur
7. Flock of land vultures doing what they do best
8. A pack of humanoid deserters in hiding from their dark masters and not averse to
temporary alliances
9. Frustrated lesser vampire displaced from lair, seeking the perfect spot for a cryptaway-from-home
10. Swarm of hideous dungeon fairies busily constructing a new hive out of chewed
bones and saliva
11. Party of adventurers taking a break, busting out rations, draining wineskins,
arguing over map, cleric removing spear from dwarf, barbarian loudly expressing his
trust issues re: the wizard
12. Thousands upon thousands of flies
Someone Tipped Off the Humanoids
d12
1. Humanoids staying w/cousins nearby, all portable wealth removed, monster
husbandry expert stays back to release the watch puddings
2. Hired horde of lesser humanoids use guerrilla tactics to harass and deplete party
while still en route to dungeon, paid upfront w/treasures formerly up for grabs on
level one
3. Fake beards distributed, objects of open evil hidden, humanoids pretend to be
clan of industrious dwarfs
4. Entrances festooned with tripwires, pressure plates, hastily covered pits and
holes, barbed projectiles protrude from door slits, precariously balanced buckets
totter over doorways, a huge pain in the ass

5. Main dungeon entrance rigged for lethal collapse, suicide trooper on duty, other
entrances under heavy guard
6. Gas masks distributed (w/strategic exclusions, esp. that owlbear), level magically
flooded with deadly vapors, tribe now permanently in debt to sorcerer from below
7. Wandering sorcerer employed to create hallucinatory terrain, misdirects
adventurers to cave lair of terrible abomination they probably can't handle, sorcerer
does terrific work, slaves haul all humanoid treasures back to tower
8. Sub-overlord notified, trio of medusae from unknown third level take up guard
position formerly occupied by relatively wimpy humanoid watch
9. Dungeon entrance slick w/oil, sentries ordered to apply torches only after
majority of party enters flame zone, 4 in 6 chance of sentry over-excitement
10. Humanoids massed by entrances, worked up into a lather by non-stop chanting
and imbibing of fortifying beverages, ready to encircle and annihilate the party
before they even reach the door
11. Entrance unguarded, rooms empty but for comfy chairs and tables with open
bottles of wine (2 in 6 chance of poison/bottle), humanoids bide time in secret
hidey-holes beneath flooring
12. Humanoids get enormous Chinese New Year-style dragon puppet out of moth
balls, rig smoke bombs/pyrotechnics, prepare to bedazzle, scare hell out of
adventurers while archers do their work from concealment
The Humanoids Seem a bit Weird Today
d12
1. Just been handed the pink slip: numbed and inattentive as they contemplate their
next move
2. Experimental new humanoid chow turns out to have unanticipated psychotropic
properties: urge to kill muted, beginning to think about settling down, perhaps
taking up a craft or developing hobbies (of evil)
3. Just had a huge meal: bloated, drunk and sluggish
4. Wages slashed: howling with rage and thirsty for blood
5. Frenzy of grief and anomie following a firm "request denied" by their cruel deity
6. Wounded, divided and demoralized after rather violent internal squabble
7. Receipt of shocking news from spawning grounds leaves them confused, off their
game

8. Virus going around that causes temporary insanity in most human-like species
9. Heavily ensorcelled to ensure robotic obedience
10. Scrawny, shagged out and partially stupefied by unreasonably long shifts and
shoddy feed
11. Jumpy, paranoid, terror-stricken over dark master's newly promised and very
specific penalties for failure
12. In stitches due to dead-on and highly satirical portrayal of dark master by a
particularly talented member of the crew
Dungeon Geniuses
d12
1. Telepathic giant spider with preternatural charm and persuasiveness: does what
spiders do but with 100% cooperation from all fellow denizens subject to
bamboozlement
2. Caveman who split the atom using only advanced mathematics of his own
invention: hunted by sorcerers seeking to exploit talents
3. Stone giant sculptor of undeniable originality and talent, gallery after gallery of
breathtaking non-representational works hewn from marble and granite
4. Dungeon pixie of exceptional intellect, arcane mastery equal to magic user of the
highest order, has tiny spell book crammed full of unique spells
5. Man-ape with mutant cerebral development: covered vast cavern walls with
incredibly elaborate pictographs of his Rube Goldberg machine-based technological
breakthroughs, exiled from clan for aberrant nerdiness
6. Living vapor, coalesced just after the origin of the universe, currently
incarcerated by wizard: 99% of knowing the answer to any given question, wants its
freedom
7. Slug-man w/magically enhanced intelligence acts as oracle, using superior logic
and reason to predict future outcomes with a high degree of reliability
8. Brilliantly insightful serpent man prophet spreads salvation with the swords of his
disciples
9. Flesh golem with half a brain hemisphere online: now that its creator is dead,
dedicated to elucidating the post-human condition through poetry
10. Giant siliconian worm: consumed crashed alien spacecraft and subsequently
assimilated the knowledge of digested computer banks, loaded with cosmic wisdom

11. Escaped scholar/tutor lich, created by sorcerer as research assistant, now

obsessed its own unfulfilled academic ambitions
12. Ogre that always wanted to be smart found ring w/three wishes, two remaining
Wandering Dungeon Jerks (Who Want to Join the Party)
d12
1. Potent magic user who treats everyone in possession of an even slightly less
magnificent intellect with disdain and open contempt (favorite quip: "Idiots!")
2. Hyper-macho fighting man way over the acceptable hubris limit, absolutely
cannot let stand any perceived slight, will undertake any challenge, preoccupied
with mustachio-maintenance
3. Skillful, brazen thief practices pick-pocketry on party before disappearing into
shadows only to keep reappearing, emits high pitched, tittering laughter
4. Big mouth warrior spews constant stream of braggadocio, reeks of cologne,
wears sleeveless armor to show off rippling muscles (gymnasium rival of 2, above)
5. Treasure sack-laden servitor ape looking for work having just strangled former
employer
6. Deposed monarch w/ever-shrinking cadre of loyalists looking to enhance warchest, stickler for protocol, expects everyone to be constantly genuflecting, etc.
7. Former professional torturer turned dungeon raider, an able warrior who takes
unseemly glee in carnage
8. Kick ass princess with a sword, finally away from oppressive court life, won't
listen to anyone about anything
9. Magnanimous Yotch, dungeon real estate agent, needs fresh bodyguards after
professional mishap
10. Talking unicorn w/mood disorder on suicidal final war against evil
11. Paladin on perpetual crusade against even seemingly trivial transgressions
(perfectly OK with murder hobo lifestyle, so long as the victims are demonstrably
evil)
12. Bard
Freelance Dungeon Security
d12

1. Bored aristocrat, masked, eager to put to use life-long martial training while
escaping arranged marriage, and loyal gang of expert big city cutthroats with
names like Gutshank, Stompo and The Spleener
2. Ool-phla-ah the Slime Wizard and his Oozes for Every Occasion
3. Mr. and Mrs. Sphinx: professional treasure guards, impeccable attention to every
detail, charmingly mated for (preternatural) life, annoying habit of destroying other
dungeon monsters
4. Trantlebon the Necromancer provides precision infestations of warding ghosts
5. Dungeon fairies roam from hive to hive, monitoring dungeon events and calling
forth mighty queen and attack drones from their encystment as needed
6. Tribe of impecunious man-apes aiming to improve the lot of their kind with a little
hard currency, dubious morale in combat, but eager to please employers and
unsurpassed in natural fawning sycophantry
7. Mind-eater and host of armed victims, essentially mindless but alert, fearless,
ferocious thanks to surgical brain-dining
8. Koklar the jolly old demi-god, a relic of bygone days and long since believed
destroyed, and host of loyal ninja-like warriors gifted with supernatural lifespans
9. Brotherhood of ogre monks: a real bargain as they refuse to draw pay and labor
tirelessly, amassing number of kills required to advance in their order, once
achieved they abandon their posts and return to temple
10. The world's stealthiest hill giant martial arts expert, a one-creature army
11. Exceedingly costly arcane system: floating eyeballs link to magic mouths and
decorative enchanted sarcophagi that manufacture and store biomechanical
wardens, released only at need
12. Ancient vampire with impressive resume and good number of half-vamp
underlings give the appearance of competence while draining the wine cellar and
embezzling as much as possible before moving on without giving notice
Living MacGuffins Missing in the Dungeon
d12
1. Narcotics dealer hoping to corner market makes bold move to meet the
subterranean source, addicts, particularly those of high station, frantic
2. Zealot priest of God of the Rosy Outlook and rather large re-consecration crew of
lay members, indispensible VIPs among them, heading down to facilitate salvation
of the denizens with much pomp

3. The whole village woke up one morning in a trance, disappeared into the depths
of the earth
4. Faction of cultists in midst of bitter theological schism set fire to their temple in
town and vanished below with their sacred treasures
5. Children of the noblesse, dressed in improvised dungeoneering get ups, carried
away with make believe
6. The cat that ate the rat that ate the Queen's soul, last seen scampering toward
dungeon entrance
7. Animate disembodied head of wizard containing unknown spells spirited off into
the darkness by cavern apes
8. Royal architect w/full knowledge of secret castle defences disappeared into
dungeon in the company of rabble of thieves and cutthroats
9. Child prophesied to be of the utmost future importance kidnapped by genteel
demon with excellent penmanship
10. Dangerous, seditious holy man of newly popular mystery cult said to be
baptizing converts in underground river
11. Betrothed of local monarch gone to join harem of amorous and exceedingly
charismatic lich
12. Genius brewer, innovator of many new beers and ales, linchpin of local
economy, abducted by deep dwarfs for compulsory servitude in their corporate
beverage production industry
Wandering Panhandlers
d12
1. Emaciated ogre, master of an unknown mystical discipline, levitates in lotus
position over carpet with a few copper coins on it
2. Evil bard busker plays dirty song parodies lampooning surface world mores for
spare change collected in ridiculous many-plumed hat
3. Abandoned dungeon pets (evil hounds w/spiked collars, sabre tooth monkeys in
charming outfits, two-headed cats etc.), their moist, imploring eyes burn holes
through the hearts of sympathetic characters
4. Ousted dungeon boss and surviving cronies wander miserably, pleading for aid
and arms with which to exact revenge upon the new hierarchy

5. Humanoid victims of a weird dungeon plague look to any and all for assistance,
even if it is only the release of oblivion
6. Surviving clergy from a sacked dungeon temple, their raiment torn, stripped of
valuable icons, faces streaked with bitter tears, shamefully question their god's
omnipotence while self-flagellating, ask only for hard tack
7. Clinically depressed leprechaun, naked but for once-glorious pantaloons, tells sad
tale of ruination and would gladly accept anything that might add sparkle to his
otherwise empty pot
8. Master thief and assassin who lost both hands in botched attempt at disabling
green slime trap will hide in shadows for food
9. Fledgling adventurer, the sole survivor of a doomed expedition, is about to die of
thirst
10. Impecunious man apes unable to obtain employment lie around in a stinky heap
surrounded by empty bottles calling out to passersby for aid in keeping their bender
going
11. Vampire initiate of ascetic cult asks for only a few drops of blood to sustain itself
while closing in on full enlightenment
12. Vagabond kobolds camp in the middle of the corridor so you can't avoid their
incessant pleas
Dungeon Relocations
d12
1. Medusa secretly flees befouled relationship with duplicitous demigod, bringing
only what she could cram in her overnight bag
2. Vampire couple and coterie of half-vampire minions hauling wagon w/coffins, pots
of native soil
3. Horde of subhumans displaced by spike in subterranean dinosaur population: roll
hideous stone idols on greased logs
4. Dragon's real estate agent scouts for luxury lair-away-from-home
5. Brood of recently-hatched giant spiders: egg-sack mates or no, cannibalize one
another as they seek lairs of their own
6. Necromancer w/train of zombies overburdened by eldritch collectibles
7. Troupe of ogre musicians skipping out on the rent

8. Company of evil mercenaries w/new customer: taking sweet time, 50% chance of
drunken bivouac
9. Witch followed by magically animated worldly possessions
10. Caravan of slug-men and team of headless lizards (under psychic control)
transport vats of vital ichors, carefully packed crates of slug-man eggs
11. Forlorn god-like abomination leads remaining flock of cultists, equally downcast,
after losing out to wildly popular new deity in former locale
12. Unlikely mix of dungeon creatures evacuate en mass as from Warner Bros.
Tasmanian Devil (tm).
Tiny Dungeon Menaces
d12
1. Immortal Queen of All Ants and her army of 1000 demi-god offspring
2. Miniature UFOs on exploratory mission: based on early findings, invasion
postponed indefinitely
3. Armor-eating microorganisms: spread via contact with strangely tarnished
enchanted chest plate
4. Hell's own airborne virus: outrageous perspiration and evil thoughts mark onset
of infection followed swiftly by black vomit and development of demonic features
5. Ration stealing pocket-apes: non-aggressive, but bite like hell to avoid capture
6. Alarm crickets: bred by intelligent dungeon monsters to chirp loudly when
approached by strangers
7. Micro-pudding: slips into boot and starts digesting foot, exudes anaesthetic ichor
to mask operations
8. Stealth pixies: sneak into adventurers' packs, uncork potions, defecate on rations,
chew scrolls, etc.
9. Ear canal-seeking demons of mimicry: use voices of fellow adventurers to
promote paranoiac mayhem
10. Rat lords: palm size humanoids command normal rats to acquire food and
treasure, ride out in force astride rodent mounts
11. Archery bugs: defend castle-like hive on dungeon wall with hails of toothpicksize projectiles

12. The Littlest Apparition

Fleeing the Dungeon
d12
1. Exhausted swordsman w/multiple arrows in back drags unconscious wizard,
bleeding profusely and moaning piteously
2. Cyclops clutching superficially wounded eye, doesn't yet realize he's not blind
3. Gaggle of diminutive humanoids evacuating in a big hurry with whatever
personal effects they could grab or stuff in a sack
4. Duo of warriors in mad sprint, currently on fire
5. Thief, barely able to contain glee, with sack full of gems and magical trinkets
6. Vampire in wolf form, cursing venomously
7. Dragon w/one horribly mangled wing in state of shock
8. Pale, sweaty, and trembling fledgling wizard with bag of gold in one hand, blood
dripping dagger in the other
9. Stampeding herd of torch bearers and men-at-arms, report former employers
dead or captured
10. Large cube jelly making off with dead giant whose head is embedded within
after fortuitous critical hit
11. Necromancer disguised as escaped prisoner following coup d'tat by underlings
12. All the rats as if from a sinking ship

Search Results:
At the Bottom of the Pit
d12
1. Insect-size Oracle of the Pit answers queries on any subject, demands payment in
fresh nectar
2. Elaborate headdress w/magic feather of levitation among detritus
3. Swamp of slow digestive enzymes seeping from walls
4. Heap of crumbling bones provides chance of falling damage reduction, airborne
cloud of decomposing flesh provides chance of lethal infection upon impact

5. Useless but friendly ghost of previous pit victim

6. Fist-size tunnel to bustling City State of the Rats
7. Hibernating saber tooth badger clogs tunnel to surface
8. Living victim of trap: wizard with broken legs, half-nuts, currently eating pages
from spell book
9. Mystical gate to random campaign world
10. Soul-eating astral predator bides time while humming pleasant little tune
11. Victim-eating ant colony commanded by quite chatty psychic queen
12. Extensive adventuring notes carved into wall, final act of mortally wounded
rogue
Cheap Dungeon Gross-outs
d12
1. The rotting pantry of the deceased hoarder-gourmet
2. Orc lavatory (as in battle, they frequently miss)
3. The Vampire Lady's champagne fountain of blood
4. The bulimic otyugh
5. Count Sadisto's skin collection showroom
6. Blood-vomiting devil children
7. The compulsory banquet of heads
8. Offal that walks like a man
9. The Inside-outers
10. Colossal turd w/ human bones in
11. Cursed folk whose organs explode forth upon the slightest touch
12. Pit trap filled with...

d12
1-2. decomposing bodies

3-4. bacterial soup

5-6. leeches
7-8. raw sewage
9-10. hungry ticks
11-12. semi-coagulated monster blood
Choice Items in the Dungeon Garbage Pit
d12
1. One boot of speed
2. Partially melted and re-hardened enchanted sword, attack bonus negated, still
good against creatures only affected by magic weapons
3. Fossilized skull of primordial lich: still crackling w/arcane potency
4. Dented cans of high protein deep dwarf chow
5. Torn trousers w/vial of poison carelessly left in pocket
6. Whale ivory leg prosthetic, magically warded against sea-mammals
7. Half-eaten fruit of the Forbidden Bush of Enlightenment
8. Charred scroll case w/slightly damaged scroll inside (roll once on Unknown Spells)
9. Water damaged ledger partially reveals strained financial situation of nearby
dragon
10. Miniature flying saucer, systems deactivated, tiny crew turned to stone after
chance encounter
11. Perfectly good false mustache
12. Smashed robot head w/single operational laser-eye
Results of Successfully Listening at Door to Empty Room
d12
1. Peal of a distant church bell
2. Gnawing, crunching sounds from within the door itself
3. Gentle patter like soft rain

4. Barely audible voice whispers "Come in"

5. Sound of your mother's increasingly hysterical voice calling your name
6. Sort of think you heard something, but probably not
7. Noises from entirely different but nearby room vibrating through dungeon walls
8. Chirping of birds, rustling of dry leaves
9. Echo of the party's most recent conversation
10. Ringing of sword against sword in a pitched melee
11. Implausibly slow and deep drawing of breath, followed by equally outsize
exhalation
12. All you hear is the blood pounding in your ears and you wonder if this dungeon
is giving you a heart attack
On a Successful Check for a Nonexistent Secret Door
d12
1. Notice tiny, highly insulting graffiti where wall meets floor
2. Discover concealed mouse-hole leading to network of mouse-tunnels that
ultimately intersect in vault containing fabulous Lint-Palace of the Demi-Mouse
3. Barely perceptible crack in wall contains perpetual illusion of steamy gymnasium
shower room scene
4. Beneath loose flagstone: wicked humanoid's secret collection of prurient
engravings of evil
5. Thumb-size hole contains flying leech eggs, explosive hatching triggered by
proximate body heat
6. Sliding panel reveals secret booze-stash of besotted wandering monster w/secret
shame
7. Behind rock: sickening, overwrought love letter from aristocratic teenybopper to
unknown vampire hottie, vial of virgin blood reeking of perfume
8. Section of wall swivels in slightly, stench pours out, must be where the local serial
killer hides his victims until dried up and ready for unholy mummification ritual
9. Stuffed in a crack: wandering monster's spare set of dungeon keys

10. Find smashed, abandoned dungeon fairy hive, many wee corpses, dusted in
golden pollen, adds up to weight of single coin if somehow collected but of
considerable magical potency
11. Hidden camera, cutting-edge 1960's technology
12. Upon close inspection stone walls turn out to be painstakingly molded, painted
polystyrene
Unexpected Dungeon Boons
d12
1. Map indicating dungeon traps found at bottom of 20' pit filled with poisoned
spikes
2. Near-mutinous guardian creatures offer bribe to adventurers to avoid
unnecessary unpleasantness
3. Blood-sucking cave bats transmit benign virus that permanently enhances lowlight vision
4. High-powered gold magnet dropped by hastily evacuating alchemist
5. Dungeon overlord's passkey carelessly left in lock after extended revelry
6. Pack of relatively wimpy humanoids laden with disproportionate amounts of cash,
attempt to make night deposit for some successful dungeon enterprise
7. Managing to survive death ray trap triggers propagation of tissues enhancing
strength and endurance upon full healing
8. Dungeon fleas that sense danger to their host, bite like hell when monsters near
9. Dragon contemplating relocation w/fiery hatred for every other dungeon
inhabitant, more than happy to point out vulnerabilities
10. Adventurers injured by chaos jelly find upon healing their once-wounded tissues
temporarily invulnerable to physical harm
11. Demon, swollen with pride over recent victory, happy to cheer on and indirectly
aid adventurers' efforts for entertainment value
12. Dungeon armistice after vicious territorial conflict leaves denizens unprepared,
inebriated or otherwise off their guard
Unexpected Sarcophagus Contents
d12

1. Staked vampire spouses in necrotic embrace

2. Six imp-sized mummies
3. Fully animate mold-man
4. Temporarily torpid crypt ooze
5. Ash and scorching indicates fire from within
6. Ancient king's body dipped in gold
7. Extremely patient ghost awaiting transition
8. Breaking seal releases centuries-old death howl
9. A lush bed of purple night blossoms (wilts immediately)
10. Note in archaic script: "Subject 13 removed to lab"
11. Human-type skeleton with dinosaur's skull
12. Fully equipped adventurer in stasis

Items:
Enchanted Dungeon Equipment
d12
1. Fifty foot rope, smart: obeys simple commands, slithers along with party like
friendly snake
2. Backpack of effortlessness: renders items placed within weightless
3. Pitons of security: single blow drives them, giant strength required to remove
4. Flint and steel, eldritch sparking: throws mighty spark ten feet, capable of
blinding/causing minor burns/igniting oil
5. Flask of oil, extradimensional: holds up to a gallon of fuel
6. Ten foot pole, extensible: up to twenty feet, also collapses to one foot rod at need
7. Caltrops, fecund: once placed, double in number every ten minutes for one hour
8. Wineskin of inexplicable upgrading: turns water into wine, wine into brandy,
brandy into spirits
9. Torch of fiery vengeance: hurls flame up to ten feet, expands/diminishes on
command

10. Grappling hook, self-guided: can serve as improvised magic weapon in a pinch
11. Animate sponge of automatic personal hygiene: every armor-wearing character
should have one, at least
12. Rations, Epicurean: utterly austere, rock hard tack imparts illusion of lavish,
soul-restoring meal
Over-the-Counter Dungeon Unguents
d12
1. Dragon balm: temporarily (like 10 minutes) reduces damage from heat/flame
2. Giant bug repellent: 75% effective against giant beetles, centipedes, and spiders
3. Gill wax: stuffed in nostrils, temporarily allows water breathing
4. Oil of command: temporarily improves charisma and smells awesome
5. Ol' Fashioned exercise ointment : loosens muscles for temporary dexterity bonus,
reeks offensively, burns like hell
6. Bite lather: rubbed into poisoned wounds, arrests progress of most toxins
7. War wax: applied to full body, hardens on skin temporarily reducing combat
damage
8. Barbarian's balm: temporarily reduces damage from cold/ice
9. Oil of invincibility: increases morale for all allies within smelling distance of the
anointed
10. Skull wax: applied to freshly shaved head, offers short-term protection from
psycho-spiritual attack
11. Salve of silence: often applied to shoes, noisy armor
12. Berserk's butter: slathered on before combat, acts as analgesic, allowing subject
to fight 3 rounds after "death"
Random Items: Dungeon Level One
d12
1. Near mint collectible humanoid figurine set, each figure engaged in different
unspeakable act of evil, wrapped in lamb's wool and packed in special crate from
the wicked manufacturer

2. Scuffed brass dungeon compass with stylized dragon embossed on cover, needle
always points to the nearest exit
3. Stitched giant's bladder with adjustable metal nozzle, filled with hot pepper mash
that sprays forth if squeezed
4. Ancient cube of gold, quite encumbering, 50% chance of being lead with thinnest
veneer of gold foil
5. Semi-reliable Blindfold of Trap Awareness, sends shivers down the wearer's spine
when traps are near or at random
6. Gems encased in blobs of lead for safe keeping (a troll practice)
7. Trained rat in wooden cage: sniffs out gold in exchange for treats
8. Poorly smelted iron badge with unknown rune: signifies allegiance with specific
humanoid tribe
9. Unusual potion imparts unpleasant side effects unless saving throw succeeds
10. Damage-proof scroll case carved of leviathan ivory, bejewelled, decorated with
skulls and devils, crumbling scroll inside contains enough fragments of unknown
spell for relatively easy restoration
11. Animate disembodied hand on leash, able to follow simple commands
12. Enchanted crystal sword that hits automatically for maximum damage once
then shatters into semi-precious shards
Random Items: Dungeon Level Two
d12
1. Leather scroll case, two tickets to the ogre war chiefs' biannual bacchanal inside
w/directions
2. Beautifully crafted false devil horns w/gum adhesive, bat wings, tail, array of
straps, one application of purple body paint, still in package
3. Ornate ceramic vessel with cork stopper, decorated w/scenes considered quite
erotic by certain kinds of underworld humanoids, contains one gallon refined
mineral oil, extra slippery
4. Half-full flask of nightmare juice: tiny sip imparts stimulating chills down spine,
sense of dread, full measure incapacitates with mind-bending horrors for 1d4 hours,
saving throw vs. early retirement to quiet life in the country upon awakening

5. Shiv of shanking: razor-sharp obsidian shard with leather wrapped grip,

enchanted for bonus to backstabbery
6. Six extra-large gold coins in black purse, appear to have been minted in Hell,
hideous devil face, unholy sigils, inscribed with dire curse, always warm to the
touch, hard to spend
7. Discarded corner of sorcerer's mind-enhancing vegan sandwich: boosts IQ a bit
but mostly jacks up self-confidence and causes the lips to curl involuntarily into
sardonic smirk
8. Humanoid medic's field surgical kit: gnarly scalpels, retractors, pincers,
spreaders, variety of toxic powders that may or may not induce unconsciousness,
great curved needle and thread, strip of leather w/ bite marks, tubing and
tourniquets made from tanned monster arteries, menacingly large scissors
9. Stylish multi-pronged helmet, of the kind practically irresistible to warriors of
inflated self-importance, currently infested w/ benevolent parasite
10. Small leather bag with embroidered mushroom insignia: weird loam within
produces a new super-nutritious fungal lobe each day if kept moist, stinks though
11. The silent mallet: ensorceled to drive pitons (etc) noiselessly
12. Exploding rations: erupt into ten foot ball of blue flame when bitten
Random Items: Dungeon Level Three
d12
1. Stone tablet inscribed with cuneiform calendar of 100% accuracy, suppressed for
religious reasons, could fetch major sum from right buyer or possibly summary
execution for sedition if discovered by powers-that-be
2. Bedazzled keepsake box containing sacred bones, locks of humanoid hair, set of
pointy baby teeth dipped in gold, swarm of aggressive body lice
3. Notarized document presenting semi-irrefutable evidence of regional monarch's
collusion in various crimes against humanity
4. Sword of armor-cleaving: ancient blade enchanted to sheer off opponent's
protective gear in single swipe once per day
5. Pages 117-198 of Forbidden Manual of Future Lore, contested translation into
common tongue, contains many terrible revelations of events yet to be with direst
ramifications for current ruling classes
6. Huge unbreakable leaf from the legendary Tree of Adamant

7. Crate containing sets of parade dress for entire humanoid royal clan for upcoming
event, multiple sizes, all stunning in their over-the-top flamboyance, lots of shiny
bits, weird juxtapositions of color, maker's mark indicates work of celebrity designer
from nearest metropolis
8. Not-quite-colossal stone head, persistently levitates three feet above any surface,
holds one thousand pounds before sinking
9. Single plate shoulder piece of missile deflection, enchanted to send missiles
astray (2 in 6 chance), negligible effect on overall protection, needs new straps
10. Bone-crushing mace, ensorcelled to render random limb useless on critical hit,
must be used two-handed by any creature smaller than ogre-size, great strength
required
11. Musical instrument of shining brass, obviously designed to be played by
creature with multiple mouths, scads of digits
12. Giant-size coat of exquisite chinchilla-like fur, marred slightly by smear of
indelible ink on massive sleeve
Random Items: Dungeon Level Four
d12
1. Severed hand with ducal signet ring clutching a Wand of Regeneration, single
charge remaining
2. Package wrapped in black paper, undelivered gift for wicked youngling contains
set of fully articulated action figures of evil, crafted of wood and tin, masterfully
painted, tiny implements of war and mayhem included, coupon to send away for
ultra rare anti-paladin figure
3. Luminous crystal shard contains single massive electrical charge released by
smashing against sufficiently hard object, discharges in thirty foot radius, damage
as per lightning bolt
4. Exquisite suit of plate armor on standing display, currently inhabited by colony of
hideous dungeon fairies like tiny bat-winged hairless monkeys, swarm attack if
disturbed, sabaton articulations seep toxic guano
5. Tremendous meat pie left to cool on industrial-size rack, contents unknown but
smells alright, huge golden ring baked in
6. Fabled Adamant Crowbar of Unsolicited Entry, enchanted to pry like nobody's
business

7. Corpse copiously hacked and arrowed, obvious false eye sees gold through walls,
etc, if in contact with optic nerve
8. The Gong Resounding, hand-size with dainty mallet, devil face painted on,
magically amplified, loud as a nearby thunderclap
9. Conical wizard's hat w/decorative skull motif, blood-spattered, ransom gems sewn
into apex, pocket also occupied by tiny viper
10. Hermetically sealed box containing chunk of rubbery troll flesh eager to remake
itself once exposed to air
11. Toothy segment of dragon jawbone w/sculpted hand grip, enchanted to emit
terrifying roar as per dragon when wielded in battle, combat bonus against
mammals
12. Glass globe w/highly compressed and positively furious air elemental trapped
within
Random Items: Dungeon Level Five
d12
1. Stoppered vial contains balm that causes thick, lustrous hair to sprout abundantly
from skin wherever applied
2. Leather bag held down by heap of stones conceals levitating ingot of extradimensional metal of astonishing tensile strength and malleability, will ascend into
the heavens if left untethered
3. Life size mannequin magically animates upon command and replicates several
popular fighting styles for martial training, armed with array of kendo-style
weaponry
4. Scroll of Instantaneous Mass Transport, designed for use when things get
extremely bad, teleports any within fifteen feet of caster to distant star/campaign
world of the game master's choosing
5. Single lens that allows remote viewing of extremely grim and brutal alternate
reality wherein, perhaps unbelievably, the PCs are even more horrible people
6. Skull w/enchanted stone spike driven through, if embedded into skull of living
subject at precisely the same angle it stimulates and augments latent telekinetic
abilities
7. Crate contains carefully packed three foot long scale model of dirigible, fully
functional, w/circlet of remote control included, designer's notes indicate payload
capacity of up to ten pounds

8. Hand truck loaded w/unmarked barrels

9. Nearly depleted spool of semi-unbreakable magic thread w/needle tucked in,
enchanted small scissors of snipping stuck in the top
10. Lock box containing receipts for massive deposits issued by royal bank of
nearest metropolis, ledger, signet ring, enough personal information to pull off
identity theft of quasi-lich
11. Scroll scribbled in haste after research breakthrough seems to contain a variant
of the disintegrate spell but is actually the arcane equivalent of a cyanide tablet
12. Golden idol of vulgar deity screams obscenities if touched or moved, carries on
until dispel magic or equivalent applied

Random Items: Dungeon Level Six

d12
1. Miniature scale model of recent dungeon construction in extraordinary detail,
placement of some death traps subsequently revised
2. Bag full of feathers from angel wings, razor sharp, stronger than steel, exude
palpable aura of goodness repellent to soulless/undead, make for awesome magic
arrows
3. Cursed fifty foot rope of treachery: to all appearances of the finest quality,
ties/unties self at worst possible moment
4. Smart putty, ensorcelled to adhere to face and alter features to desired
arrangement at whim, if attempted more than once/day user must make saving
throw or face becomes writhing oozing out-of-control mask of unpleasantness
5. Dust and cobweb obscured solid gold trophy for competitive eating championship
awarded to Dungeon Overlord earlier in career
6. Severed head of a fellow with terrible hairdo of chaos and ornate earrings of evil,
partial dental appliance contains authentic demon fangs, soul-freezing bite attack
paralyzes as ghoul, extractions required for use in most healthy PCs
7. Glass globe w/sentient gas being on elegant pedestal, telepathic, bitter, hateful,
eats oxygen, famished, if released will instantly suck the air out of the room
8. Former enemies of the Dungeon Overlord, bodies preserved by dip in liquid gold,
removed from public display years ago

9. Still-warm crock of giant centipede gumbo, quite nourishing, diabolically spicy,

save vs. gastro-intestinal distress 1d4 hours after consumption
10. Shaman's medicine bag, straps hacked through, spattered with gore, contents
interesting (tiny skulls of unknown origin, ancient coins no one collects anymore,
new and unusual fungi, a shrunken human foot, stinky resins, assorted dried berries,
etc.), seem like they should have some kind of mystic function but add up to a hill of
beans
11. Gleaming helm w/large frilly moth-like antennae that sense movement/subtlest
shifts in air current to a range of 120 feet
12. Palm size diamond, sentient, telepathic, awakened when cut by forgotten god at
the dawn of time, has seen it all, knows it all, starving for attention after long
isolation, exceedingly clingy and needy but good with numbers, volunteers to
become financial advisor to adventurers

Random Items: Dungeon Level Seven

d12
1. Scroll of Holding: created by now-senile godling before totally losing it, stores
unlimited amounts of information, spells, maps, other documents, contents from farflung paleogean epochs right up to last Tuesday, no index
2. Small herd of stampeding treasure chests, fully loaded, ambulating upon
clockwork horse legs, dispatched to secret summer house of the quasi-lich in
adjacent dungeon complex
3. Wand of Transmission: fires bolt of information unerringly, decoded by brain of
target who must make a saving throw or forget own name, other vital bits, for 1d12
hours
4. Gentleman's formal attire of Hell, bat-wing bow tie, fiendish spats, freshly cleaned
and pressed, sized for twelve foot tall being of robust build, wing holes, smart lines,
black-on-red design, fabric woven from wondrous alien metals, weighs a ton
5. Precise ink diagram on good vellum w/notations in thieves' code, burned a bit,
trodden on, crumpled, indicates exact locations of 1d4 treasures on level 8
6. Pumpkin-size Golden Apple of the Gods, a single bite instantly increases the
intellect if saving throw vs. death succeeds, then roll HERE for good measure
7. Enchanted steel snail shell w/tiny door, magic phrase allows owner and carried
equipment to shrink down and take shelter within should that ever seem like a good
idea

8. Gong of Supplication (Humanoid): tone precisely mimics signature fanfare of

wicked deity, when sounded brings single type of humanoid to knees, wailing and
grovelling as one might until ruse discovered
9. Cast iron Codpiece of Protection: gruesome bat-face design, prodigious magical
bonus to armor rating but cannot be worn with anything else other than boots and
helmet, maybe a cape, or enchantment negated
10. Vial w/1d12 blue and red capsules, if taken causes toxic gas to gush forth
prodigiously from mouth as per cloudkill
11. Large, relatively slow-moving bats w/four wings, bellies stuffed with gems,
winging their way to quasi-lich's summer house in adjacent dungeon complex
12. Trained all-weather gelatinous cube: follows commands played on tin whistle,
master can be encysted within for effortless transport over land or sea, great
storage capacity, secretes acid as desired
Random Items: Dungeon Level Eight
d12
1. Huge enchanted syringe crafted for soul-extraction, assembly required,
components packed in padded box
2. Floating storage locker, borne aloft by Tenser wave, currently loaded w/relatively
valueless tchotchkes from Hell
3. Leviathan ivory scrimshaw depicting pivotal turning points in history of
alternative reality
4. Full helm shaped as vulture's head, imparts ability to sense bloodshed, death,
decay up to one mile distant
5. Dress jacket with eight decorative tentacles where epaulets should be, obey
mental commands of wearer
6. Crate wrapped by tamper-resistant chain of security containing scads of dubious
underworld currency, surrounded by recently slain bodies of delivery-humanoids
7. Large glass bottle filled with fist-sized capsules each containing inert ooze, just
add copious amounts of water
8. Lock box full of crude medals festooned with skulls (gold, electrum, silver) for
various events in upcoming Underworld Games
9. Lead-lined barrel, sealed and ensorcelled, holy symbols of every stripe stored
within, awaiting pickup by hazmat disposal humanoids

10. Platinum idol of rearing diplodocus-god, jewel eyes, only half-excavated from
stone wall
11. Package marked for delivery to Science Commander of adjacent dungeon
complex, peer-reviewed treatise on detecting evil at cellular level, litmus test kit,
specimen samples from various underworld horrors
12. Soul-fueled power generator, valve fits syringe (entry 1), several hundred feet of
coiled cable w/metal clamps
Random Items: Dungeon Level Nine
d12
1. Just back from the cleaners: wardrobe's worth of human size cult raiment,
outrageous, multiply spiked and pronged, towering headgear like baroque
cathedrals, in all the most evil colors, hateful devil face masks included
2. Huge, perfectly cut jewels with self-generating spider legs, scamper to avoid
capture, bite with gem fangs loaded with virus-like mineral venom, transmutes
great swaths of living cells into crystalline slough
3. Skin-bound tourist's phrasebook of Hell, covers many dialects of the Abyss, also
includes instructions for producing weird tones and ululations perceptible to Elder
Gods using common household items
4. In huge lead box, melted shut: bust of current Chaos Bishop cast in gold, diamond
and blue sapphire eyes, neck and shoulders covered in gemstones simulating mail,
crafted back when he only had a few facial tentacles
5. Sometimes a giant cigar is just a giant cigar
6. Sorcerer with look of supreme confidence and enviable array of gear turned to
stone, subsequently smashed to chunks, dropped scroll amongst the rubble intact,
inscribed w/potent chaos-dampening spell
7. Spiked mallet of soul-extinguishing: critical hit indicates direct shot to pineal
gland, annihilates soul leaving behind greying remnant, lacking all joie de vivre,
looking forward only to oblivion
8. Large black medical bag: huge tube of high potency anti-fungal cream, one dose
ointment of regeneration, jar w/rather menacing giant leech that cures disease,
sealed envelope containing one inert colony body lice of healing
9. Bejewelled sofa with wicked clawed feet carved from devil bones, upholstered
with fabrics woven from precious metals, worth a fortune on secondary market of
evil, would look fantastic in wealthy vampire's lair, too bad its on level nine

10. Massive enchanted sacrificial dagger (as short sword), unerringly seeks the
heart of opponent once daily but only after time-consuming/embarrassing ritual
11. Soul-powered dungeon hovercraft, seats five w/one more in the automatic
ballista turret, not very fuel-efficient
12. Crown of Hell, minor: cloven in two by vorpal sword (shattered, shards
everywhere) wielded by mighty paladin (broken, pulverized body nearby), devoid of
terrible powers but made from priceless/incredibly rare infernal metals
Random Items: Dungeon Level Ten
d12
1. Enchanted photo-real 3-D portrait of the Dungeon Overlord as a young
man/woman/entity, demon-sculpted black frame of evil alone worth small fortune,
but would look great over mantle @ adventurer's HQ
2. Parked outside treasure sorting room: large wheeled bin full of clothing, armor,
gear stripped from startling number of dead adventurers, highlights include:
exciting footwear, unusual equipment, interesting helmets
3.One-third bottle of sour mash whiskey of monster control: works great but
unbelievably potent
4. Silver whistle creates imperceptible sound wave that destroys bond between
artificially installed animus and flesh/other matter, renders much necromancy null
and void, terminally disrupts corporeal undead, single charge remaining
5. Brain-shaped crystal formation, enhances intellect to super-human level when in
physical contact, weighs one thousand pounds, floods brain w/crazy ideas
6. Bat-winged jumpsuit w/horned space helmet from member of Hell's Courier
Service killed by Dungeon Overlord for delivering bad news, affords excellent
protection from weapons, fire & infernal weather, transporter belt w/single button
takes wearer to Hell and back, impervious satchel of holding attached
7. Phalanx of inert robo-hoplites w/Corinthian helm of remote control, instruction
manual, in gift-wrapped shipping container
8. Gag gift for Dungeon Overlord from subsequently assassinated member of inner
circle: aerosol can of paladin repellent, actually sort of works, renders only the pure
and noble green around the gills
9. Locked coffer filled with scrolls detailing accumulated research/elaborate plan to
import elder being from adjacent dimension, install in the heavens to create
permanent eclipse, creatures of the night take over

10. Soul-powered bio-mechanical dungeon excavator, like small rail car on multitude
of stubby legs, business end a riot of shovels and picks, hacks out standard 10'
dungeon corridor/minute, extrudes rubble as usable masonry, very thirsty for souls
indeed
11. Rod of Dungeon Mastery: projects rays that reduce the weak-willed to minion
status, compel spirits of the Underworld to reveal mysteries of dungeon ecology,
deactivate traps/automated tricks, open doors as per knock spell, multi-horned skull
topper gives directions w/gentle voice, warns of self destruct mechanism should the
object be taken from the dungeon
12. Dungeon Overlord's experimental super-armor, unfinished but still rather
awesome, emits waves of fear, induces supplication, enhances
strength/endurance/speed, impervious to anything short of an exploding shell, when
out of soul-fuel consumes that of occupant

Freelance Dungeon Missions:

Freelance Dungeon Missions: First Level
d12
1. Monitor, trap stirges to obtain fresh blood sample from troll in nearby chamber for
sorcerer's use
2. Retrieve one particular zombie from necromancer's entourage, an ex-VIP, for
possible resurrection
3. Locate, subdue dungeon rats (powder of stupefaction provided), release following
installation of enchanted seeing-eye devices
4. Procure certain tome for Imperial Historical Society from excellent library of
illiterate ogre partial to brandy, preposterous faux-intellectual discourse
5. Sneak in, introduce powerful psychedelic agent into dungeon well used by
humanoids to loosen them up for arrival of prominent high priest w/company of
acolytes on heavily-armed evangelical tour
6. Pose as warlock's new personal stylist, hangers-on from Imperial Capitol City,
gain access to sanctum, make off with research notes, ruin hairdo
7. Seek, destroy weird dungeon unicorn of versatile fecundity, blamed for profusion
of hybrid monsters in nearby wilderness, before it can propagate again
8. Make way to location of talking statue, pose series of carefully worded questions
from sealed scroll provided by patron, collect riches in subsequently revealed secret
treasury, patron just wants any rings

9. Provide stealthy reconnaissance of dungeon level, mark doors w/various colors of

invisible paint to indicate contents (monster, monster & treasure, etc.), prepare way
for band of more experienced delvers
10. Plant evidence of recent spate of political assassinations in doppelganger lair (as
noted by prior expedition) get out before notable hero's staged discovery
11. Pacify, secure secondary entrance for use as escape route by more experienced,
painfully superior group of adventurers embroiled in lucrative dungeon crawl
12. Scatter shrieker spores around complex, administer quick-grow potion, trigger
shrieker chain reaction, several units of Imperial archers, infantry standing by
outside dungeon entrance to annihilate evacuees
Freelance Dungeon Missions: Mid-Level
d12
1. Locate, bargain w/uniquely colossal troll, believed sessile, fills entirety of
chamber, for specimen of living flesh
2. Assassinate arms dealer in trade partnership w/Underworld forces while en route
to subterranean shipping company HQ
3. Exchange tiny abomination incarcerated in enchanted vessel, captured familiar of
dungeon sorcerer, for living brain of court vizier, embodied in earth golem's mass,
currently under mental control
4. Spike shut all three doors leading to level four, monitor, do not release other
adventurers trapped w/in no matter what they say
5. Release plague-infested fleas on dungeon level five, anti-flea garments provided
6. Enter crypts, festoon w/holy symbols of every conceivable stripe until its like
Christmas morning in there, anoint w/variety of blessed oils, ignite plethora of
incenses, re-seal until further notice
7. Enter crypts, introduce experimental new undead-eating predatory ape species,
re-seal until further notice, must see to care and gruesome feeding of caged
creatures until deployment
8. Make full study of dimensional anomaly detected on dungeon level four, one
daring PC secret "volunteer" to cross inter-dimensional barrier and return, outcome
to be determined THUSLY
9. Scatter lair w/items implicating undesirable cult/nation/organization, awaken
ancient dragon, get the hell out

10. PCs made Imperial Notaries, proceed to vampire lair, obtain signature for
divorce papers from unnamed aristocrat
11. Hew giant cables w/loaned enchanted ax, shut down power to evil dwarf
foundry, steal specimen of new alloy
12. Annual Imperial Dungeon Graffiti Challenge
Freelance Dungeon Missions: Higher Level
d12
1. Impersonate summoned zombie horde, stagger into depths, gain access to semiindestructible necromancer's sanctum, exterminate unholy offspring, inject villain
w/sterilizing serum to prevent future abominations
2. Seal chaos-breech detected on level 8, scroll containing Zzanzz's Hermetic Hypercube included, material component required: life-essences of 100 enemies of
humankind, man-portable essence-extractor unit provided
3. Conquer deathtrap-filled hallway connecting dungeon level to unknown
subterranean wilderness, 10,000 gp budget for project
4. Administer eldritch/chemical agent to dormant caldera on lava level, get the hell
out, but not before locating and warning double agent lich, possibly polymorphed
somewhere in the dungeon
5. Escort testy Imperial specialist VIPs to site of recent archaeological discovery on
level 7, set up/maintain defensible perimeter for duration of dig, orders dictate they
must not be stopped no matter how stupid their schemes appear
6. Serve notice to dragon of inheritance and noble title in Imperial Capitol City due
to puzzling proviso in deceased aristocrat's final orders
7. Return cursed treasure stolen by previous adventurers to cache of gleeful
underworld deity all set to begin new curse-free phase of existence
8. Find and secure subterranean route between known dungeons for strategic use,
Imperial cartographer provided
9. Infiltrate Underworld cult as faux-lay members (arcane prophylactics against
mind-control provided), determine threat level, gather intelligence for coming
military intervention, discretely assassinate traitorous surface folk
10. Ambush and destroy dungeon expedition of regional hero now believed to be
enemy of the state, en route to site of powerful relic on level 9
11. Deliver NPC, body loaded w/arcane explosives, transcosmic toxins, for sacrifice
to The Famished God

12. Oversee/provide security for top secret corridor-widening project to free neutral
dragon no longer able to leave chamber after decades-long growth spurt

Other:
Dungeon Conspiracy Theories
d12
1. Dragons beholden to unknown being from another sphere: hoards just not the
same anymore
2. So-called "adventurers" actually death squads of underworld junta
3. The coming apocalypse will destroy the surface world only sending underworld
real estate through the roof
4. Strings pulled by cabal of mind-eaters who now know everything
5. The one true god lives at the center of the earth: the path to wisdom runs deep
6. Humans created in vats of ancient underworld sorcerer to usher in age of terror
7. Cube jelly: the secretly sentient masters of the dungeon
8. The surface world is actually hell: adventurers = demons
9. Our small gods war amongst themselves to win approval of the unknown gods
above them: after that all bets are off
10. Undead eyes transmit information to secret overlords from an adjacent plane
11. The sky god judges the surface-worlders but cannot see underground
12. All the seemingly mindless monsters of the dungeon actually controlled by a
subtle intelligence keen for amusement
Dungeon Kickstarters
d12
1. Squad of freelance ogre mercenaries looking to go upscale: need custom armor
and equipment of highest quality, gigs already lined up, a sure thing
2. Evil high priest seeks aid to establish unholy gambling operation: security
paramount, offers up to 5% of net in perpetuity for major backers
3. Vampire archaeologist, having obtained and translated ancient bas relief map,
needs to hire contractors and obtain large slave force to excavate buried vault laden
with treasures, shares available

4. Hopeful entrepreneur and fully qualified troll chef have found perfect location on
level four for monster saloon/eatery, under capitalized and looking for partners
5. Ambitious clan of kobolds looking to set up currency exchange/loan
establishment: offer females and children as collateral for start-up loans
6. Sorcerer and master assassin associate need coin for spell research/components
to make their magic-assisted murder scheme really pay off
7. Deep dwarf team has laid diplomatic groundwork for construction of dungeon
water and sewer system, a sound long-term investment opportunity
8. Bribe money needed to gain access to contested area of ruined subterranean
city: newly discovered sub-section expected to yield copious golden treasures
9. Cure for dungeon plague discovered by consortium of sorcerers eager to
blackmail disparate factions, need funds to produce samples, delivery system
10. Dungeon escort service w/sterling reputation in temporary cash-flow situation:
small amount to tide them over shall be repaid three-fold
11. Talented evil armorer looking to establish shop: offers gratis enchanted arms
and armor to investors
12. Mad but brilliant wizard anxious to publish and distribute grimoire of astonishing
new spells, but will not unless aesthetic requirements are met: gold inlays, exotic
inks, intricately embossed man-leather covers, etc.
Dungeon Love Connections
Table One
d12
1. Blind old troll with walker made of bones
2. Poverty-stricken Dragon needing sugar-parent
3. Doppelganger that got in too deep
4. Exceptionally intelligent subhuman poet
5. Dinosaur man: fugitive from menagerie
6. Melancholy Templar of Chaos
7. Exceedingly amorous intelligent ooze
8. Sorcerer's ghost: post-auto-disintegration

9. Half giant with heart of gold

10. The cutest kobold on record
11. Young surface aristocrat looking for thrills
12. Insomniac vampire: bored and clingy
Table Two
d12
1. Disembodied wizard head
2. Otherwise 100% belligerent physical fitness-obsessed ogre (attacks with barbells)
3. Age-withered high priest of chaos unable to contain urges
4. Evil warrior with tragic B.O.
5. Religious zealot slipping away from values
6. Saber tooth dungeon hound
7. Axe-wielding homicidal maniac w/mostly hidden soft side
8. Cyclops w/monocle and delusional social ambitions putting on airs
9. Agent of Law distracted from mission of assassination
10. Polyamorous dwarf: loves deeply and sincerely but needs to spread it around
11. Psychic for whom love remains a major blind spot
12. Wandering dungeon sage with the hormones of a 16 year old
Love Condition Table
d12
1-2. Exciting and new
3-4. All-consuming passion
5-6. Hit the doldrums: comfortable like an old shoe
7-8. Spats of increasing intensity, jealousy, recriminations
9-10. On the skids: ugly break up imminent
11-12. Unrequited

Dungeon Plagues
Table One: Pathogen
d12
1. Rot pox: too hideous a fate to describe
2. Exploding fever: temperature spikes then keeps on cooking until extremely
unpleasant eruption
3. Zombie itch: turns host into mindless self-scratching machine
4. Brain virus: before roasting the brain w/high fever inverts personality/skews
cognition
5. Face-eating bacteria: it ain't pretty
6. Suicide chills: eventually lethal but more frequently ended by victim
7. Death shakes: tremors come on almost instantly after exposure, escalate to
grotesque parody of ecstatic dance, followed swiftly by death
8. Wraith germ: attacks point of contact between spirit and body, creating ghost
(death)
9. Dysentery of Abject Misery: immobilizes and kills by dehydration/humiliation
10. Blue anguish: subject turns blue and writhes in agony for 1-6 days until
deceased
11. Bone Melter: turns skeleton into so much jelly followed by suffocation
12. Shriveling wastes: victim becomes more hideous than the most ancient lich,
then snuffs it unceremoniously
Table Two: Vector
d12
1. Dungeon ooze
2. Anything handled by filthy kobolds
3. Vampire blood
4. Kraken excrement
5. Sewer monsters

6. Bat vomit
7. Monster latrine
8. Subterranean pools
9. Bugbear lice
10. Ancient gold coins leftover from plague-eradicated civilization
11. Draconic cerebrospinal fluid
12. Troll mucus
Table Three: Cures (other than Cure Disease spell)
d12
1-2. Huge monetary sacrifice to the god of the wretched
3-4. 24-hour ritual involving free-form dance and large amounts of chicken blood
5-6. Victim must be bled to within inch of life
7-8. Cup of hot poison (50% chance of instant death anyway)
9-10. Subject must be roasted over open flame until half-dead
11-12. Incurable!
Symbiosis in the Dungeon
d12
1. Charlatan evil high priest delivers sacrifices of flock to hovering eye in exchange
for timely use of ray powers
2. Ghouls hide in giant snake's belly until prey cornered, emerge suddenly and
paralyze extra victim for snake
3. Giant beetles dispose of bodies for assassins' guild who lavish them with TLC
4. Subhumans employ giant ape for erecting monoliths in exchange for fresh
maidens
5. Orcs gain near-invulnerability from aggressive and disfiguring body fungi
infestation
6. Dragon sustains jellies with waste/leftovers in exchange for cash horde cleansing
and protection

7. Pudding lives in gut of land kraken as digestive aid

8. Ogres feed flightless cave vultures, benefit from their heightened senses and
squawks of alarm
9. Manticore serves as mount of devil for protection/choice victims
10. Sorcerer feeds sphinx magic for service as research aid
11. Hydra and chimera enjoy strange multi-headed kinship and mutual protection
12. Dungeon fairies lead bamboozled prey to giant spiders in exchange for bolts of
spider silk building material
What's on the Guard Monster's Mind
d12
1. Literally waiting on other side of door for interlopers to smite, total job
satisfaction
2. Complete devotion to aims of master, dog-like obedience
3. Blinding urge for wanton destruction barely held in check by training
4. Searing hatred for all that lives spurred on by frequent torture at master's hands
5. Immeasurable hunger for flesh occludes all other concerns
6. Dedicated only to its own mission of annihilation
7. Pain from unhealed wound propels mad frenzy
8. Normal thoughts and behavior confused due to malnutrition
9. Addled by never-ending duty, looking to take it easy
10. Disgruntled with job, willing to bargain w/powerful opponents
11. Looking for bribes, doesn't want trouble, more than happy to betray anybody for
profit
12. No longer cares one whit about it's duty, merely showing up until something
better comes along
When You're Starving in the Dungeon
d12
1. Rumor has it amber dungeon mold is edible, delicious even

2. Moderately edible dungeon lichens, once washed, chopped, pulverized, sieved,

fried
3. Leather armor (used), soaked in wine for a long time
4. Gathering an accumulation of semi-fresh dead bats will do for a while
5. Herds of extremely alert tiny deer are rumored to roam the deeps, some kind of
blind and great patience required
6. Goblin cheese, a euphemism for some unmentionable aspect of their biology,
edible but only just, reeks with an unparalleled potency, pretty good spread on
black bread with lots of onion and mustard seed
7. Giant beetle grubs can be found underneath loose flagstones
8. Rats work, but often carry weird parasites, sometimes benevolent
9. Bocanite, a semi digestible element in many dungeon walls, visible only to some
dwarfs
10. Notable delvers claim giant centipede legs are a delicacy fit for a king's banquet
hall
11. The excrement of elusive dungeon ungulates (basically just processed moss and
lichens) provides a good bit of fiber
12. Sometimes it comes down to whether you hired that extra torchbearer