Copyright 2000 Des Moines Register

May 13, 2000 Saturday

SECTION: METRO IOWA; Pg. 6B
HEADLINE: To acquire understanding, take time to listen
By STEVE BUTTRY
Register Religion Writer
The Rev. Dave Nerdig offered some wise advice when he was starting a class on
what the Bible says about homosexuality: Listen and seek to understand the
opposing view so that you can state it clearly to the opposition's satisfaction.
That was in October 1998. I was starting work on a project on how churches
dealt with homosexuality and how the issue was dividing Christianity. The class
at Bethesda Lutheran Church in Ames seemed like a good place to start my work.
Evangelical Lutherans with wide-ranging viewpoints discussed whether
homosexual relations were a sin, whether the church should ordain noncelibate
gays and lesbians, whether the church should bless unions between couples of the
same sex.
People in the class didn't agree, but most listened. I didn't know at the
time how rare was that feat.
I spent the next 19 months working on and off on the three-part series
published earlier this week. In interviews, speeches, articles, books and
debates, I heard and read the views of hundreds of people from many different
denominations and groups.
Rarely, if ever, did I hear anyone state the opposing view clearly and
accurately. It seems that both sides, when they listen at all, do not listen in
a genuine effort to understand. Many listen only seeking ammunition for their
own arguments.
Sincere people on both sides state their own views articulately but
invariably caricaturize, misstate or oversimplify the opposing view.
Those who see homosexual relations as sinful base their own position on their
understanding of several passages in the Bible. They almost reflexively depict
the opposition as dismissing the Bible's teaching.
Some people calling for church affirmation of gays and lesbians do dismiss
the Bible. Many, though, value and study the Bible as much as those defending
the church's traditional position. They look to other Scripture passages to help
them understand a Bible verse. They study the historical context. They examine
the original Hebrew and Greek texts.

Earnest Christians can disagree about the meaning and application of Bible
passages without dismissing the opposition as not believing in God's word.
Gay-rights advocates speak passionately about their own belief that Jesus
would reach out to gays and lesbians today just as he showed love to lepers and
other outcasts 2,000 years ago. They almost reflexively dismiss their opposition
as showing hate.
Indeed, some opponents of gay rights are hateful. Fred Phelps, a Kansas
minister, has demonstrated that extreme in his repeated demonstrations in Iowa
and around the nation. I listened for more than an hour this week as an
unabashedly hateful man shouted vulgarities at gay rights demonstrators, telling
them again and again that the Bible says they should be killed. My voice mail
and e-mail after this week's series was published confirmed that some Iowans
share this hatred.
However, it is as unfair and inaccurate to brand all opponents of gay rights
with this hatred as it is to brand all gays as promiscuous based on the behavior
of another extreme.
In most of my interviews with opponents of gay rights, they voiced strong and
disgusted disapproval of these voices of hatred. With evident sincerity, they
expressed love for gays and lesbians.
Gay-rights activists thwart their own efforts to achieve understanding when
they equate disagreement with hate.
Since the series ran, some readers have written to me, asking what I think
about this issue. I could not offer any wisdom more valuable than Nerdig's plea:
Listen and seek to understand.
*
This is my final column for the Register. I have accepted a job with the
Omaha World-Herald and begin work there next week.
In leaving, I thank my editors for the opportunity to write about faith and
values for Iowa readers. I especially thank the many readers who have
encouraged, criticized and invigorated me with calls, letters, e-mails, personal
comments and prayers.