WHAT DOES IT TAKES TO BE A GOOD PARENT.

1. Definition
Parent is defined as a person whom had a child or children either through biology or
mating process or through adoption (cite the source). A parent could be a mother in the female
figure or a father in a male figure and secondary parents could be the grandmother or
grandfather. In these modern days, parent could be in the form of male and female figure, male
and male figure or female and female figure especially in the country that legalize same sex
marriage or it could be represented by just one entity of the partner-hood, either a male figure or
female figure, which commonly known as single parent (no need). Everybody can be a parent
and it is, as a matter of fact, a natural phase or process of the birth-dead cycle. However, not
everybody knows what does it takes to be a good parent.
1. Cite sources from relevant parenting sites about good parenthood.
2. Responsibility of parents
3. commitments

2. Moral awareness and mind-set-readiness

A good parent is a person that has that deep moral awareness of being a father or
mother. Being one is not just to give birth to a child but it is something that is larger than life. It is
about how aware someone is in the responsibility that comes afterwards. The responsibilities of
being a parent could be something that is limitless. It is entirely up to a parent on how to mould
and nurture the children. When it comes to mould and nurture the children, there is no specific
guide or module that one person can simply follow. It comes from the moral awareness of the
parent and their own creativity. Some religions like Islam could provide a few guidelines but the
question on how these guidelines to be imposed on the children or on how it is comes to affect,
it is still entirely up to the parent. Only those who have that deep moral awareness could be
successful in implementing such guidelines. By having a children, it is not just the joy to put your
last name into that childs name or assuming that the lineage of your blood is expanding, it is the
understanding the responsibility that comes together with it and afterwards is what really
matters. If a person has no moral awareness towards the parenting responsibility the situation is
more likely to end up the cases of children abuse.

Moral awareness, nevertheless, only comes to set when the mind is ready and set to the
specific track. In this case, a person must be ready in term of his or her mind in becoming a
parent. When the mind is ready, everything could be possible to achieve. This is one of the key
points to be a good parent. Being ready mentally is very crucial for a person to become a parent
simply because parenting or parenthood comes a lifetime. There is no turning back or
postponing the whole scenario. The old proverb says; when theres a will, theres a way. But
how can someone have the will when he or she is not ready? The increasing numbers of cases
where babies are being dumped in the toilet, mosques and churches and even in garbage bins
are the good examples to see when someone is ready to become a parent or not. This is what
is going to happen when the readiness of becoming a parent in someone is and can be
questionable.

3. Healthy physique and good well being

Being a parent is a daily basis routine. It is the work cycle that has no ending to it. One
may find himself or herself working from dusk to dawn or from sunrise to sunset. Being in that
tough kind of routine, a person needs to be healthy inside to outside and vice versa. Taking that
being healthy physique as a habit of a person, that particular person has the utmost influence to
their surroundings to be the same as well. Lets take a person with a very good hygiene habit for
an example. A person with this kind of habit does not just practice it towards himself or herself.
But instead he or she will spread the habit towards those under his or her lashes. Healthy
physique does guaranteed a person to have certain level of resistance towards some minor
health infections, although it does not guarantee anything from not inheriting chronic health
issue such as diabetes or hypertension.
A good well being is also another essential part of becoming a good parent. The good
well being in this context bring a larger spectrum, not just only in health concern but in general
such as spiritual and beliefs, mental well being and the balance of it, good and proper diet and
hygiene practices. When a person is in a good well being conditions in most aspect of his or her
life, it is easier to live the life as days goes by let alone being a parent. A good well being of a
parent does reflected directly in the well being of the children as well.

4. Rich parents VS Poor parents

Another factor that is important to become a good parent is the economy. The stability of
the household economy may directly acting in the outcome of the parenting. But it doesnt mean
that a person has to be rich to become a good parent and neither does the poor parent.
Being a rich parent may give some advantages to become a good parent. With the
wealth, every wish of the children may be fulfilled and the children may not want for more. Rich
parent is more than could afford to provide with luxury house, good quality of clothing, good
meals every day and expensive toys and gadgets. With the advantage of having the money, rich
parent could give the best education that there is to offer. However, if the rich parent does not
play smart with their wealth on their children, they might go very wrong in parenting by
pampering too much the children until it spoils them.
While the poor parent could lack in most of everyday supplies and not having all the
luxury, they still could be a good parent by giving what they think is enough for the children. The
poor parent may not have the advantage of fulfilling every wish of their children, but they have
the edge of teaching the children the meaning of value of money and the true meaning of
hardship.

5. Empathy VS sympathy in parenthood

Sympathy is about sharing. It directs attention to how you feel. It is an expression of how
you feel in response to someone elses experience or feeling. Empathy is about listening. It tells
that you do understand. Empathy has nothing to do with how you feel it is about understanding
how the other feels their circumstances.
When a parent sympathize with their children, they often cross a boundary and become
enmeshed with their childrens problem. Parent then become overly protective and try hard to fix
or take away the childrens problem. For example, a child that has problem with a classmate
that calling him or her names. When the parent sympathizes, it becomes more about the parent
being upset, resentful or angry than their childrens difficulty with name-calling problem. Parent
will only then feel justified in calling teacher or offending the other childrens parent and
demanding restitution. On the other hand, when the parent empathize with their childrens

name-calling problem, they stay detached from making it their own problem but not from the
child. Parent may feel upset about the situation but more importantly is about connecting with
the children and expressing their understanding for their childrens emotion. Empathy lets the
children knows that their parents know and understand and the children can name their feeling,
so that they feel normal and accepted.
When empathize, parent know what is their childrens problem, and when parent stay
detached not taking responsibility over the problem faced by their children to fix it, parent will be
much better able to help their children with their problem. Once parent is connected on the
emotional level with their children and gaining trust from their children that they know what the
problem was, parent can then ask questions or give some suggestion pertaining to solving the
problem in the best way that the children can. But when parent is taking responsibility for the
problem, it is more about the parent projecting themselves into the situation and telling the
children to fix the problem the way they would. Children most probably becoming dependant
towards their parent to fix their problem every time they face problem in later life.
Having good boundaries with children means allowing them to take responsibility for
their own problem and working towards finding good solutions that work for both parent and
children.

6. Placing the children first

Good parent know how to place the needs of their children first. Placing the children first
show them that they are important and this could nurtures the childrens self-esteem. It helps
the children feel loved. It is not about giving toys or gadget but simply in the manner of giving
the children time. Good parent listen to what their children share about their feeling, thoughts
and fears. Good parent also spend time with their children on a regular basis, away from
television and computers so that children and parent could connect in the deeper level.

7. Handling stress and anger

Parenting comes with stress and anger. Children may not always understand if a parent
is having a bad day at work or parent has to worry about the households finances. Babies
usually stay up until late at night or wake up in the middle of the night clamoring for attention.
Older children or teenager will do and say things that makes parent easily to flare up. Good

parent know how to manage the stress that come with parenting. Whenever possible, good
parent relax. They let go of anger as quickly as possible. Good parent forgive the children while
holding the children accountable for their actions.

8. Time for fun

Fun relieves stresses in both children and parent. Play does more than just making a
great memory. Making time for fun show the children their importance towards the parent. It also
model good balance between responsibility and recreation. Playing with children at every age of
the children from infancy to early adulthood helps parent to connect deeply with the rapid
changes in the childrens temperament and understand the children even more. This will help
parent to make the right decision for and with the children.

9. Know the childrens personality

The essence of being a good parent is to really know the childrens temperament and to
tailor the parenting style to take that into account. Every child is different even if in the same
family. If a parent know each childrens individuality or personality and deal with them in the
manner that best suit them, a parent could reduce or minimize conflict.
Lets take two simple examples, parent that has a child who is very active; and a child
that is having difficult time with transitions. When dealing with very active children, a parent
should avoid roughhousing with the children in the evenings, which will make bedtime difficult.
Instead, have that child to have a quite activity to help him to calm down such as drawing or
story-telling. When dealing with children that have difficult time in transitions, a parent need to
understand that giving the child an advance warning when it is time to leave the playground will
make the shift easier for the child. The better a parent understand their children, the less conflict
there will be.

10. Be a good role model

Probably the common mistake that every parent make is that saying one thing but doing
the other. Some parents give their children lectures on self-control and patience but easily flare

up when caught up in the traffic jam. Some parents telling their children not to gossiping or badmouthing about other people but turned up to be just like that when meeting their friends.
That is not to say that parent has to be perfect. But when fall down from the job, parent
need the children to learn from their mistakes. If a parent has lashed out to their children when
theyre feeling stressed out, parent need to come back to their children admitting their fault and
gave the children their reassurance. By doing so, a parent is teaching their children the
importance of respect and forgiveness. When facing a challenging situation, a parent needs
their children to see that they are doing the best they could cope up with. Some time, difficult
situations need to be acknowledged and by doing this, a parent is actually showing the children
that they can manage tough times and that will help the children to learn to do the same.

11. Conclusions
http://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/10-commandments-good-parenting
http://www.parents.com/parenting/better-parenting/advice/ways-to-be-fantastic-parent/

kena quote byk2 sikit baru bole buat reference.

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