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ADVANCE ENGLISHGRAMMAR AND COMPOSITION

COLLEGE RESEARCH PAPER:


THE PRIMARY CAUSES AND EFFECTS OF BOYFRIEND-GIRLFRIEND
RELATIONSHIP AMONG THE FILIPINO TEENAGERS

RESEARCHERS:
SEM. JOHN JOSEPH N. DALADAR
AND
SEM. JERALD M. JIMENEZ

PROFESSOR:
REV. FR. MICHAEL SANDALO, CRSP

CHAPTER I
Introduction
Introduction and Background
Have you ever experienced having a boyfriend or a girlfriend relationship with others?
How about having experienced it during the early days of your adolescence? Quiet weird right?
In the present time especially in the Philippines, young people starting from age of ten to
seventeen are engage to mutual relationship with opposite sex. This usually happens especially in
high school life. Obviously, they immediately enter to an early courtship that unknowinglyit is
basedmerely on infatuation. Almost all of them thought that the way they feel for their opposite
sex is already a mature love but the truth is they are only experiencing infatuation to their
opposite sex due to their physical attractions. While some have this kind of experience due to
their deeper friendship with their opposite sex.
Almost all of the Filipino teenagers nowadays are already in the state of mutual
relationship with their opposite sex due to their uncontrolled feelingswith one another. Young
men think that they are not men without having girlfriends, while young ladies even think that
they are not ladies without having a relationship with men. According to Headspace1 Romantic
relationships are a common topic of conversation, a significant source of preoccupation and
rumination, and a major cause of strong emotions in adolescence. Some researchers have argued
that they should be recognized as the single greatest source of strong emotions in adolescents
lives. Adolescents say that romantic relationships and experiences whether real, potential or

1 A National Youth Mental Foundation who organizes for the psychological tests at
Australia.

fantasized account for many of their strong emotions both positive (e.g., excitement,
happiness), and negative (e.g. jealousy, anger, distress)2
The researchers of this college research paper have also undergone this kind of experience during
their high school days where both of them were also attracted to their opposite sex. One of the
researchers had entered a mutual relationship with his opposite sex while the other one had
experience to love his opposite sex in the mutual feeling. Both of them have experienced the
positive and negative causes and effects of this mutual feeling or relationship with their opposite
sex. Because of this experience, the researchers have made up their mind agreed to search for the
deeper concerns that are related with this research paper, also the primary causes and effects of
mutual relationship among the Filipino teenagers in which it includes giving some advantages of
having an early relationship and also giving the disadvantages of early boyfriend-girlfriend
relationship in order to avoid the negative effects of this kind of relationship and to strengthen
the positive impacts of this among Filipino teenagers.
Just a short information and background in having this research paper is that even one of
the researchers of this research paper was happily enjoyed of having a relationship with his exgirlfriend because in having a relationship with an opposite sex. Truly it gives joy to the hearts of
Filipino teenagers especially during the teen-agers high-school life. According to one of the
researchers of this college research paper, A mutual relationship with the opposite sex signified
a deeper and stronger friendship. While the other researcher may not have experienced of
having mutual relationship with other yet, he too had mutual feeling toward his opposite sex.
Like the other Filipino teenagers, he too has its own mutual understanding with his opposite sex.

2http://www.headspace.org.

Like the other Filipino teenagers, both of the researchers also found joy in having mutual
understanding or relationship with their opposite sex. For them, it is an inspiration in studies and
in good works in day to day life. For them, having a mutual relationship with their opposite sex
made them feel that they are already in heaven because being with the persons, they love give
them idea about the joy in heaven. It is truly give joy and hope for the Filipino teenagers about
their future spouse yet like the others, they do not end in happy ending for they only let their
emotions take control of them that someday it will be big mistake for them.
Like the others, the researchers also end their mutual relationship or mutual
understanding with their opposite sex in break-up with lessons in life. Therefore, through the
help of their experiences, the researchers are fitted and they could give a lot of insights and ideas
that will help them by giving some information for the benefit and common good for this
research paper.
Purpose of the Study
The purposes of the study of our college research paper are the following: The first purpose is to
inform other people especially the high school students and even the neophytes of the college
students of this present time that concerns of early boyfriend-girlfriend relationship.
The Second purpose is to enlighten the minds of the teenagers. To enlighten in the sense
that on what are the truths and the events that is really happening on this kind of relationship,
because some people who are in the stage of curiosity specifically for the teenagers do not know
what is going on in this kind of relationship, and so they will try or merely experiment for the
sake of being curious. This college research paper may help to reduce the increasing number of
teenagers being curious and regret at the effects on what is happening, especially at the end.

The third purpose is to give some reminders about having this relationship about
advantages or the good sides and the disadvantagesof an early boyfriend-girlfriend relationship
among Filipino teenagers. In which it may help those people who are planning to get involve
with this kind of an early mutual relationship, and/or those people who are involve in this kind of
relationship, and/or alsofor the people who have already encountered this kind of an early mutual
relationship.
Lastly, the fourth purpose of this study or research is to become a guideline for the people
who gets interested or have a feeling for having an early boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, in
which the researchers will help what is proper or correct for this concept of this kind
relationship.
Statement of the Problem
The different problems of an early boyfriend-girlfriend relationship in teenagers are the
following: The first question is What are the primary or common causes and effects on having
an early relationship in teenagers?
The second problem is Why this kind of relationship hasan abnormal increase of number
among the teenagers in this present time? The third tricky question is this, Why is it a lot of the
teenagers at this present have a mutual relationship with an opposite sex even they are still very
young? And why is it so very early in having a boyfriend or girlfriend in the teenagers in this
present time?
The fourth question is, Who are the responsible persons who are getting involved with
this kind of relationship? The fifth question is,Why is it that these people who are aware or
have ideas of early boyfriend-girlfriend relationship among Filipino teenagers are still continuing

to have a relationship on the early years of adolescent hood? Since technology has one of the
greatest impact or reasons in this kind of an early relationship, the researchers imposed this sixth
question, What are the effects of technology in an early boyfriend-girlfriend relationship among
Filipino teenagers? Are they helpful or bad instruments for Filipino teenagers?
Lastly, the seventh question is, Why is it that most of the Filipino teenagers who already
knew the bad effects of entering an early mutual relationship with their opposite sex, why is it
they still continuing on having this kind of early relationship?

Scope and Limitation of the Study


The researchers have made their decision and also an idea to base their research paper on
their experience or the experiences of others especially for those people who are still in this kind
of relationship and still continues, and also to those people who have undergone this event in
their early adolescent stage of life.
In order to have a balance presentation and good information the researchers will also
refer to the books, magazines and reports of the different organizations that pertain on this
concept the researchers are dealing with. They will also interview a psychology who can help the
researchers for this college research paper. Therefore, the researchers will scope only for the
references or people even our experience which is related on the research being made of.
The age brackets of the people concerned in this college research paper are those who are
stage from ten years old to seventeen years old. So, the neophytes of college students are also

included because obviously most of the neophytes are in the age of seventeen and most of them
have late maturity in their adolescent age.
Obviously the researchers have decided to focus more on the early boyfriend-girlfriend
relationship of Filipino teenagers obviously here in the Philippines, in which this country has
known of having a lot of Filipino teenagers who entered an early boyfriend-girlfriend
relationshipwith their opposite sex.
Review of Related Literature
1. An Introduction to Social Psychology. (3rdEdition)
-The authors of this book are: Lindegren, Henry Clay, and John H. Harvey. This book can help
the researchers to know, get good informationand to know and refer the side of Social
Psychology that pertains and concerns our college research paper.

2. Introduction to Psychology. (3rd Edition)


-The author of this informative book is Linda L. Davidoff. This book can make our statements
and information stronger through the side of the clinical or general introduction to psychology.It
can help the researchers the side of this college research paper based from this book.

3. The Development of Romantic Relationships in Adolescence.


-The authors of this book are the following: Wyndol Furman, B. Bradford Brown, and Candice
Feiring. Obviously, this book states some facts and information related to the topic of
development of romantic relationship in adolescence just as the title has already stated. This
book shows the different stages of the mutual relationship among the adolescent.

4. Adolescent Romantic Relationships Why are they important? And should they be
encouraged or avoided?
-It is a pdf file and obviously this source is found in the internet. The organization who published
and shows the information of this related concept to the romantic relationship among the
adolescent is the Headspace-National Youth Mental Health Foundation. This organization will
find at the country of Australia.

CHAPTER II
The Causes
What are the causes of having an early boyfriend-girlfriend relationship among the
teenagers?
The researchers found some answers for this question, and they are:

Physical attractiveness
Common sense tells us that appearance is the greatest basis for attraction
between strangers and, indeed, that it is necessary to maintain appearances if
attraction is to result in a lasting positive relationship. In fact, in everyday
language, the term Attractiveness has reference to surface aspect of a person that
is physical at attractiveness.3

Similarities attract
There is a second basis for social of attraction that is our tendency to be attracted
to those who are similar to us. Social status seems to be one of the dimensions for,
which similarity is important. Similarities attract has direct reinforcement, support
of self-esteem or comport of teenagers, attribution of benevolence or

compatibility, and confounding of teenage similarity that is being like by them.4


Communication via technology
Nowadays, especially in the Philippines, they have applied the modern technology
of the West. It is popularly known as Social interaction. The term Social

3Lindegren, Henry Clay, Harvey, John H. An Introduction to Social Psychology. (3rd Ed.) St. Louis, Missouri
63141: C.V. Mosby Company, 1981., page 54

4Ibid., page 58

interaction being referred here is through means of modern technological gadgets


and concepts like texting through means of cellphones, online surfing and online
chatting by means social communication in the website examples are: Facebook,
twitter, etc. They are using these modern technological concepts and technologies
because it makes different people have a strong communications with each other.
Through the use of communicable technologies or aspect, it makes the Filipino
teenagers can build not only easiest way of communication and good relationship

but also having an easiest way in having a courtship with the opposite sex.
Strong Admiration to the opposite sex
If a certain person does not have an admiration or Crush that the people usually
calls it, he or she is not a real human being. In the present time, mostly
theelementary and also high school students have already this kind of this strong
admiration with their fellow students or friends butthis is not yet called real
love. Strong admiration is one of the greatest foundation and reason on why do
the teenagers will enter in an early boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. Because the
teenagers have stillan immature of thinking what mutual love is, they may have

the feeling that is not totally love but mostpeople are calling it as infatuation.
Books, movies, and songs about love
Literary works, film movies, and music are the most influential concept that it is
made for the people, especially for the Filipinos. How about when these concepts
is made and connected into love? Most of the Filipino teenagers like reading
romantic books or novels or going out for romantic movies or listening to the
latest and even the oldest love song. Other people are saying it that it is part of the
Filipinos culture, and also it is already their passion. Filipino teenagers like
reading love stories or watching love stories and listening because there is a great

impact for the Filipino especially the teenagers because they can connect it on
their situational life (e.g. That is my favorite song because that is my crushs
favorite.5 Or I can connect with this song because the lyrics and even the
melody is just the same on what is happening this day.6). Synthesizing it, they
can relate in the love song, romantic movie or novels to someone they have
admired or the people being connected with it.

Peer influence
Most of the time, Filipino teenagers are with their fellow friends. Most of these
young people that the Filipino teenagers are with are in the status of mutual
relationship with their opposite sex. If Filipino teenagers have this kind of
companions, they too will be influenced to have a mutual relationship with their
opposite sex because when their companions have a mutual relationship with
someone, they feel that they are out of place so they too will enter into mutual
relationship with their opposite sex in order not to feel that they are out of place
with their companions. In one word they are jealous on what their friends have in

which they do not have.


Friendship with opposite sex
As one of the famous quotations states, No man is an island. There is no wrong
in having friendship with an opposite sex. It is very impossible that a person does
not have any friends. It is a normal and a usual concept in our daily lives, if a
person does not have, the person is an abnormal.
Having a friend gives joy to every Filipino teenager. It signifies brotherhood
and/or sisterhood. But having a friendship with an opposite sex might have effects

5 Statement ofahigh school student being interviewed by the researchers.


6 Statement from the diary of a high school student being interviewed by the
researchers.

to Filipino teenagers too. In having a friendship with opposite sex, there is a


higher probability that Filipino teenagers might fall in love with their opposite sex
especially when the friendship is strong. In which, Filipino teenagers will have the
opportunity to know the characters of their opposite sex well. A great chance of
probability, in knowing each other, they will grow closer to each other where
mutual love of Filipino teenagers begins. That is why a lot and most of the
teenagers having an early boyfriend-girlfriend relationship because they have the
strong relationship when they are still friends. Mutual relationship always starts
in friendship with an opposite sex.7 The greatest foundation in having mutual
relationship.8

Childhood sweetheart
In the neighborhood of Filipino teenagers, there, their opposite sex, live. Some of
their opposite sex was their close friends since their childhood. In having a
friendship with their opposite sex since their childhood, they found sisters or
brothers in their fellowship with their opposite sex. They become good friends
until they grow old. Now in growing up particularly in teenage life, there exist
mutual feelings to each other. Since childhood, they feel happy in the fellowship
of one another. How much will they feel in their teenage life? Surely, they will
feel love to one another because in happiness, they found love. Once they found
love, they will now enter in mutual relationship. This kind of situation or status is
known as childhood sweetheart.

7 Statement of a high school student being interviewed by the researchers.


8Adolescent Romantic Relationships Why are they important? And should they be
encouraged or avoided? Headspace-National Youth Mental Health Foundation.
http://www.headspace.org. January 12, 2015. Page 2

Lack of Parental Guidance


Most of the parents of Filipino teenagers are very busy on their day to day job.
They will leave the house for work early in the morning when their children are
still sleeping. They will go home late at night when again their children are
already in their beds. It is very clear that they give more time on work than their
own children. Because of this, their sons or daughters will look for someone
whom they can spend their time with. That they can feel the love of the parents
from the love of the other people in which, they will find on it in having
boyfriend-girlfriend with other people. They feel that their opposite sex gave them
more importance than their parents could give them. Lack of parental guidance is
not the mistake of Filipino teenagers who have mutual relationship with their
opposite sex but it is the mistake of parents because of lack of time that they give

to their sons or daughters.


Part of teenage rebellion
When Filipino teenagers feel that their parents are so strict to them that they
cannot do what they want even though they have a good reason, they will rebel
against their parents. When Filipino teenagers feel that their parents were the
avoider of their happiness, they will do some things in secret, and one of it is
having mutual relationship with their opposite sex. For some Filipino teenagers,
their main goal of having a relationship with their sex is not to love their opposite
sex but to get the attention of their parents and they want to feel free from the

boundaries of the rules being given by the strict parents.


Parents encouragement
In other cases of boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, parents encouragementis
anothercause. For other parents, they think that having mutual relationship with
the opposite sex of their sons and daughters is good inspiration for their children

to study more. For some Filipino teenagers, it helps them in their studies while for
some; it candestroytheir childrensacademic. What parents do not know is that
they do not realize that letting their sons or daughters to have a mutual

relationship with opposite sex is that it lessens the time of their family bonding.
Failure of past Mutual-Understanding-Relationship9 with opposite sex
It is better no to become bitter 10 that is why I will try to have one again.11
Most of the Filipino teenagers nowadays have already undergone already with
mutual relationship with their opposite sex. Most of these mutual relationships did
not work well among Filipino teenagers due of some primary reasons:
Uncontrolled emotion toward their opposite sex, the negative traits of a person,
and not contended on the person being mutualized with. When their mutual
relationship with their opposite did not work well, it will take a long time for them
to move on. For some cases, they used to have another relationship with someone
else in order to move on but when they build a new mutual relationship with
someone else, they are building it not because out of mutual lovebut because of
bitterness in the failure of their past relationship with their opposite sex.
Synthesizing it by means of a Filipino quotation, I am doing this to cover my

holes.12
Curiosity
As a part of adolescents development, curiosity takes place. According to Miriam
Websters Dictionary, Curious means, Having a desire to investigate and learn.

9 Mutual-Understanding-Relationship is the last the stage of the two opposite sex


before going through boyfriend-girlfriend relationship.
10 In the concept of mutual relationship, it means hurt or the pain encountered.
11 Based from the journal of a high school student.
12To cover my holes. In Filipino translation means, Panakip butas.

It is very true, because as the researches have already mentioned in the past pass,
discovery of ones self and experimentation is a part of adolescents growth and
the reason for that is adolescents curiosity. As a result, early boyfriend-girlfriend
relationship will be the one of the greatest curiosity of the teenagers. On what way
are the teenagers becoming curious in this kind of relationship? Here are some
reasons: First, reason, imitation from the other people especially for the people
who have the relationship for the long period of time. Second reason, it is the
famous concept including on the past decades. The third and last reason is,
obviously, Filipino teenagers are curious because they really want to experience
it.

Chapter III
The Effects
What are the effects of having an early boyfriend-girlfriend relationship among the
teenagers?
The researchers divided this chapter into three parts: Academic Life, Psychological Aspect, and
Social Aspect or Community Life.
Academic life
Improvement of Athletic Skills
Most Filipino teenagers who are single in status have not yet found or did not yet
improve their skills in athletic. When these Filipino teenagers built a mutual
relationship with their opposite sex, their partners will become their inspiration in
things they do. Most young men in Philippines are irresponsible in things during
their teenage life. They will rather give their time in computers games or in doing
bad habits such as drinking or drug abuse rather than spending their time in
improving their skills in sports such as basketball. When these young men are
having mutual relationship with their opposite sex, their partner became their
encourager in improving their skills in athletic. Having mutual relationship with
their opposite sex became their greatest help in making their selves from worse
Filipino teenagers to better Filipino teenagers. The saying, Behind of every great
man is a woman, is totally linked to the experience of this young Filipino men.
Improvement in studies
This kind of effect is mostly experience by Filipina teenagers or both of them.
In Philippines today, Filipina teenagers are much better in academics compare to
the academic life of Filipino teenagers. According to the observation of one the

researchers, the main reason why Filipina teenagers are getting better in
academics than those Filipino teenagers do is that Filipina teenagers is using their
boyfriend as their inspiration in studies. For some Filipina teenagers who are in
mutual relationship with their opposite sex, their boyfriends are their primary
strength in academics. When Filipino teenagers observed the good intellect of
Filipina teenagers or their partner in their mutual relationship with their opposite
sex, they too will be inspired to study harder and to do better in their academic
life. Almost all of Filipino teenagers who are in mutual relationship with their
opposite sex used their boyfriend or girlfriend as their great inspiration in
academic life. Having boyfriend-girlfriend relation among Filipino teenagers
became a great help in their studies. While for some Filipino teenagers, having
mutual relationship with their opposite sex became destruction in studies because
they give more time with their boyfriend-girlfriend.
Psychological Aspect

Depression
During boyfriend-girlfriend relationship among Filipino teenagers, they feel
enjoyment and romance with their boyfriend or girlfriend. They feel comfortable
in each others side. They totally feel the true meaning happiness with fellowship
of their boyfriend and girlfriend but once their boyfriend-girlfriend relationship
did not work well, of course break-up in their relationship will exist. Once breakup came in their relationship, one or maybe both of them will totally feel
depressed because of the failure of their relationship. They will miss the

fellowship of each other, the happiness of each others companionship. They be so


bitter that they to course their opposite sex. There might be also a point that they
will submit their virginity or celibacy to someone they do not love or do not even
know. Being bitter due of break-up of boyfriend-girlfriend relationship will cause
worst depression that a Filipino teenager can feel that it might take a long time for
Filipino teenager to move on after the break-up.

New experience
Having mutual relationship with opposite sex is a new experience for all Filipino
teenagers especially for those Filipino teenagers who have its first boyfriend and
girlfriend in their life. For these Filipino teenagers nowadays, it is normal to have
boyfriend or girlfriend even during teenage life. Through this new experience,
Filipino teenagers discover many things in having mutual relationship with their
boyfriend or girlfriend. They discover a new kind of happiness particularly in the
fellowship of their boyfriend or girlfriend. They discover to be more mature than
before particularly when they were still single in their status. They will come to
know each other more. They will know each others side, whether good or bad.
In the observation of one of the researchers, Filipino teenagers who are in the
middle of mutual relationship with their opposite sex are always can be seen in
malls or places of tourists and the researcher described this kind of habit of
Filipino teenagers as their new experience with their boyfriend or girlfriend.

Social Aspect or Community Life

Teenage Pregnancy
Teenage pregnancy is the most tragically effect of early boyfriend-girlfriend
relationship among Filipino teenagers. The number of Filipina teenagers who are

encountering teenage pregnancy is now higher than before. This kind of tragedy
among Filipino teenagers happened when one of them submit to the advances of
his or her partner. It exists because of each others lust. Of course, lust in the
nature of human weakness. In relationship of boyfriend-girlfriend, lust is always
present there due to physical attraction. Any Filipina teenagers who are
encountering will have these kinds of effects. First, Filipino teenagers will feel
emotional crisis that might lead them to abort their innocent baby. Second, their
worries about having a baby in an early age will have an impact on their future.
Third, their education might be delayed because they will focus more on the needs
of their baby. Fourth are the negative expressions of their friends and family for
the wrong thing they have done. Fifth, they might neglect their baby because they
might grow annoyed at the lack of freedom to interact their friends. Sixth, the
trouble of finances will be their problem most in raising their baby. Such a

tragedy will truly have negative effects on Filipino teenagers.


Lesser time for family
Lesser time for family among Filipino teenagers who have boyfriend or girlfriend
is one of the effects of their early boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. In teenage life,
Filipino teenagers feel that their boyfriend or girlfriend understands them more
than their family does because they share the same emotions and interests in
teenage life that is difference in the opinion of their family members particularly
their parents. Because of this situation, Filipino teenagers wanted to be more with
the people who understand them more that is their boyfriend or girlfriend not their
family. Another situation is like this; when one of them wanted things to do, the
other one will follow what the other one wanted to do because of this, they are
spending more time with their boyfriend or girlfriend, and spending less time on

their family. What Filipino teenagers does not know is that spending less time
with their shows that they are giving importance to each of their family members
and it also shows that their boyfriend or girlfriend is much important than their
family. This kind of effect of early boyfriend-girlfriend relationship among

Filipino teenagers might give a probability of losing the family life.


Lesser time for others
Having early boyfriend-girlfriend relationship among Filipino teenagers will not
only affect the time for family but it also lessens the time that Filipino teenagers
are giving with their neighbors. Yes, having boyfriend-girlfriend relationship
among Filipino teenagers will give new experience. Yes, it is a good inspiration
for studies and other interests that helps them to improve in their studies or in
their other skills such athletics or any kinds of arts. Yes, having boyfriendgirlfriend relationship among Filipino teenagers nowadays satisfies their needs
and gives them their other benefits but not everything can be given by boyfriendgirlfriend relationship. What Filipino teenagers does not realized is that their
neighbors too can also give them their other needs but because of feeling happier
with their boyfriend or girlfriend, they chose to do more what their boyfriendgirlfriend is saying. What Filipino teenagers do not know is that they give too
much with their boyfriend or girlfriend that it lessens their sense of socialization
with others. It also destructs the sense of friendship, brotherhood with others.

Criticism of others
For Filipino teenagers nowadays, having boyfriend-girlfriend relationship in an
early age from ten to seventeen years old is normal and it is also in the nature of

other teenagers nowadays. People of todays living has also have the same idea
but for some like the elders who has different kind of tradition during their
teenage life will have negative expression of todays early boyfriend-girlfriend
relationship among Filipino teenagers nowadays. Not only the Filipino elders but
also the other types of Filipino teenagers or adults who have the same negative
expression like the elders have. For them, young Filipina such as teenagers who
has boyfriend in an early age is flirty because their ideal of young Filipina is
woman of conservative. For them, young Filipino such as teenagers who has
girlfriend in an early age is not acting as gentlemen like real gentlemen must
because they cannot control their emotion that a gentleman can do. For them,
Filipino teenagers nowadays are not doing their part as teenagers that are enjoying
their life as teenagers with the fellowship of their neighbors, not only their
boyfriend or girlfriend.

CHAPTER IV
Advantages and Disadvantages

The researchers have found some advantages and disadvantages of having an early
boyfriend-girlfriend relationship among the Filipino teenagers. The researchers divided this
section in to two: Advantages of having an early boyfriend-girlfriend relationship among the
Filipino teenagers and Disadvantages of having an early boyfriend-girlfriend relationship among
the Filipino teenagers.

Advantages of having an early boyfriend-girlfriend relationship among the Filipino


teenagers:

Identity Formation
According to the research of Headspace, They contribute to adolescents growing sense
of who they are and what they believe in, contributing to their self-esteem, self-worth,
confidence and level of acceptance or popularity among peers.13 In this way, they can
know themselves very well, also to understand the differences and uniqueness on what
they are and on what do they have from that it is same and different to the other people.
Also it follows also the saying of Socrates who states, An unexamined life is not worth
living.

13http://www.headspace.org

Independence
In this way, they can find themselves that they cannot stand on their own, or they need
other people to live in this world, in which having boyfriend or girlfriend is a sign that
they need another person beside from their family and friends. It shows also that it is
connected to the one of advantages, Identity formation, in which the teenager is needing a
companion to help in growing and searching his or her identity.

Interpersonal skills
Interpersonal means social interaction with the other people. It is difficult to be confident
with the other person even being known with it. According to headspace they said,
Romantic relationships provide an important opportunity to practiceand refine these
skills as they typically involve more intense emotionsand conflict than adolescents
friendships.14 In this way also, they can enhance their self-esteem their confidence with
the person in whom they will interact with it, and it is very helpful in having this when it
comes into a social communication jobs and a well-confident person in interacting with
other people.

The ability to manage strong emotions


Not all of the teenagers are too much sensitive about their emotions especially after the
break-up of the two persons in this kind of relationship. Having boyfriend-girlfriend
relationship leads also in forming and strengthening their emotions especially after the
break-up. One high school student said, When the elevator is full, there is a staircase

14 ibid

waiting to be used for the other people,15 If the door is closed, another door or window
is ready to open.16 It means that the partners being involved in this kind of relationship
are not meant for each other, and they are ready to be hurt and love again until they
found the fit and even a perfect partner in their lives.

Intimacy
This factor is very uncommon or not usual to all kinds of persons. The greatest positive
factor in having a boyfriend or girlfriend while still in the stage of adolescent is that the
teenager can feel the strong bond or being close with other people beside from your
family and friends in a special way to the person having related with this kind of
relationship. The Headspace stated, Adolescents can learn how to develop and nurture
an intimate relationship. This ability is very important to healthy adult adjustment.17 In
this way, this factor can help into the transition from teenager into adult.

Disadvantages of having an early boyfriend-girlfriend relationship among the Filipino


teenagers

Academic Difficulties
Most of the teenagers are obviously studying, and having a boyfriend or girlfriend while
still studying can have a persons difficulty in academics. Why? There are three great

15 Statement of a high school student being interviewed by the researchers.


16 Statement from the diary of a high school student being interviewed by the
researchers.
17http://www.headspace.org

reasons. First, it lessens the time to study. Most of the teenagers in this kind of
relationship are minimizing their time to study so they can focus more on the relationship
they have. Second reason, it can affect the psychological and emotions of the person
especially after the break-up. As a result the academic have a greatest probability to be
affected because of the pains, and the strong emotions that it is still being felt.

Unplanned or teenage pregnancy

Here are some reports from the National Statistics for the Youth18 in the Philippines.
First, the incidence of teenage childbirth has more than doubled over the past decade.
That is, among girls aged 15 to 19, whereas only 6.3% were already mothers in 2002, by
2012 around 13.6% were already mothers.Second (and expectedly), premarital sex
among the youth is also on the rise: In 2002, only 23.2% of youth have engaged in
premarital sex, but in 2013 this has increased to 32% (amounting to about 6.2 million
youth).Third, while both teenage males and females have become more likely to engage
in premarital sex, the gap between the sexes has declined over the past decade.And
fourth, a whopping 78% of first instances of premarital sex were unprotected (not only
against unwanted pregnancy but also sexually transmitted diseases). Most of these
teenagers have their boyfriend-girlfriend relationship and that is why there is a very high
of a chance that a woman teenager can get pregnant. There is also a great chance that the
teenage is vulnerable to different kind of diseases and sickness that comes from the
sexual intercourse with the person in whom they have been a relationship with it.

18 An organization that surveys the Filipino teenagers for the latest issues in the
Philippines.

Increased vulnerability to experiencing depressive symptoms


Most of the Filipino teenagers especially women have a high probability with this another
kind of negative factor in having boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. Most of the teenagers
having with a sensitive emotions may have a great probability in being depressed or can
affect their psychological aspect, in which women teenagers are prone with this. The pain
or the hurt that happened after the break-up is the greatest reason of being vulnerable to
experience depressive symptoms. The psychologists found out also, that having an early
boyfriend-girlfriend relationship can lead not only on to depression but also committing

suicidal acts.19
Keeping secrets from parents
If the parents were so strict especially when they have children in the stage of adolescent,
and one of the greatest focus of the strict parents pertains to boyfriend-girlfriend
relationship. As a result, Filipino teenagers having with this kind of parents may have
hide a lot of secrets to them especially from the common joys of each of the teenagers. In
the Philippines, a lot of teenagers are doing this for the sake of experiencing it, having it
as an enjoyment in replacement of the strict attitudes of the parents, and they are doing it

as a part of their rebellion towards their parents.


Lesser time for family
When there is a minimize time of studying, it is also possible and obviously having this
kind of relationship can decrease the number of time in having a strong bond in the
family. Obviously, as what the researchers have stated from the previous topic, the
teenager having this kind of relationship may focus more on his or her boyfriend or
girlfriend. This kind of negative factor is the most common of all the families in which

19Davidoff, Linda L. Introduction to Psychology. (3rd Ed.) United States of America: McGrawHill, Inc. 1987. Page 421

the bond of them can minimize or even destroys the relationship of the family in the
Philippines.

CHAPTER V
Conclusions and Recommendations

Conclusions
The primary causes and effects of early boyfriend-girlfriend relationship among Filipino
teenagers is one of the main issues nowadays in the Philippines. The researchers gave thirteen
causes why Filipino teenagers nowadays are having boyfriend-girlfriend relationship with their
boyfriend or girlfriend. The first cause is the physical attractiveness of their opposite sex where
Filipino teenagers are being attracted immediately physically but not emotionally. Second cause
is their similar attraction where both of them have feelings for each other. The third cause is
todays communication technology or social interactions through means of internet and other
communicable gadgets such as Facebook, cellphones, and etc. that Filipino teenagers used most
in communicating with their opposite sex. Communication with each other makes Filipino
teenagers know each other deeper where mutual feelings will grow among them. The fourth
cause is having a strong admiration on opposite sex particularly having crush among Filipino
teenagers. Filipino teenagers have misinterpret this kind of feelings because they thought that
what they feel toward their opposite sex is love but the truth is, it is only a crush like elementary
students feel toward their opposite sex. The fifth causes are the books, movies and songs about
love. Filipino teenagers love using things related to love because in these things they can find
themselves and relate their feelings toward their opposite sex in things about love. The sixth
cause is the peer influence. When the friends of Filipino teenagers have their own boyfriend or

girlfriend, the Filipino teenagers are being influenced by their peers to try also having a
boyfriend or girlfriend even though in early age.
The seventh cause is friendship with opposite sex. Most mutual feelings among Filipino
teenagers will always start in friendship with their opposite sex where both of them are getting to
know each other. The eighth cause is similar with the seventh cause that is childhood sweetheart.
Childhood sweetheart is a kind of friendship among Filipino teenagers that started when they
were children. During their childhood, they treated each other as brothers and sisters in their
friendship but as the years went by, mutual feelings among them will now come. It happens
mostly in teenage life.
The ninth cause is lack of parental guidance. Most Filipino parents are giving more time
on work than what they give to their children as a result then, their children will look for
someone particularly their opposite sex whom they can spend their time with and to whom they
feel that this person is giving them more time than what their parents give to them. Soon, their
children will have boyfriend or girlfriend because of their lack of presence. The tenth cause is
that it is a part of teenage rebellion where Filipino teenagers are trying to revenge against their
parents by having a boyfriend or girlfriend due of being strict of their parents. The eleventh cause
is parents encouragement where parents encourage their children to have boyfriend or girlfriend.
The twelfth cause is the failure of past mutual-understanding relationship with opposite
sex. When a mutual relationship did not work well among Filipino teenagers, they will build new
relationship with someone else because of bitterness from the failure of past relationship. And
thirteenth cause is their curiosity because of their desire to investigate and learn what boyfriendgirlfriend relationship is.

These thirteen causes have positive and negative effects to Filipino teenagers. It affects
their academic life, physiological aspect, social aspect or community life. In academic life,
having mutual relationship, helps the Filipino teenagers to improve their athletic skills and
studies because they boyfriend or girlfriend is their best encourager and inspiration.
In their physiological aspect, the Filipino teenagers feel depression once their inspiration
in life, their boyfriend or girlfriend, is gone or have made Break-ups because of the failure of
their mutual relationship. But still, it will be great experience among Filipino teenagers because
in their relationship with their boyfriend or girlfriend, they learn new things.
In their social aspect or community life, the Filipino teenagers might encounter the
tragedies of their relationship with their boyfriend or girlfriend. One is teenage pregnancy when
one of them submits to the advances of their partner due of lust. Second is it lessens the time that
they spend with their family and others because they feel happier and comfortable with
fellowship of their boyfriend or girlfriend. Lastly, criticism from others will come because of
having a boyfriend or girlfriend in an early age.
The causes and effects of their relationship will have advantages in their life as their
teenager that will them to be better as they reach the adult life. First is the identity information
where they can know themselves very well, also to understand the differences and uniqueness on
what they are and on what do they have from that it is same and different to the other people.
Second is their independence where they will find companion, beside their family or friend, to
help in growing and searching their identity. Third are their interpersonal skills where they can
practice their self-esteem their confidence with the person they want to interact with.

Fourth is their new ability to manage their strong emotion. In here they will learn to form
and strengthen their emotion once they have a break-up with their boyfriend or girlfriend. Fifth is
intimacy where Filipino teenagers can feel the strong bond or being close with other people
beside from their family and friends in a special way to the person having related with this kind
of relationship.
Of course, if there are advantages there are also disadvantages in their relationship where
they can find the pain of having a relationship. One is academic difficulties where they will find
their partner as destruction in their studies instead of finding their partner as inspiration. Second
might be the worst one that is the unplanned or teenage pregnancy due of lust because of their
physical attraction.
Third is the increased of vulnerability to experiencing depressive symptoms that can lead
the Filipino teenagers not only to depression but also in committing suicidal acts. Fourth is
keeping of secrets from parents because of the fear that Filipino teenagers are afraid of their
parents scolding them, because of this, it lesser the time with family because of lack of trust and
too much fear that Filipino teenagers have from their family particularly their parents.
The researchers are not stating that it is not good to have boyfriend or girlfriend; they are just
exposing the facts and the information that pertains to the researchers' topic. As what the
headspace stated in their studies and research "Involvement in romantic relationships is
developmentally appropriate and healthy in adolescence."20
The researchers concluded that having an early relationship is a normal concept and it is a part of
the teenager's life. Just almost the same and coincidentally with the statement of the Headspace,
"Taken together, research suggests that while some concern is warranted when adolescents enter
20http://www.headspace.org

into a romantic relationship, discouraging adolescent involvement in these relationships is not


advocated."21
Unless if the persons who are in this kind of relationship and the persons who are responsible are
not taking attention and looking to the teenagers who are involve with this kind of an early
relationship, especially the parents.
Well, not all adolescents will have and should encounter this kind of relationship, that is why
through this college research paper, the researchers may help and inform them about this kind of
relationship in the teenagers so they can help other people to give them advises on the situations
being encountered by the partners.
Recommendations
The researchers want to recommend and suggest to those persons who are involve in having an
early boyfriend-girlfriend relationship that to have to observe the following tips:
First tip, follow the rules given by the people who are responsible in this kind of an early
relationship especially the parents.
Second suggestion, they must have limitations for everything in an early relationship
during the adolescent. As what the Headspace organization states,Some researchers have
suggested that it may be helpful to think of adolescents beginning to develop romantic
relationships as being similar to learning how to drive a car. It can be fun and rewarding,
allowing adolescents to learn new skills and increase their independence. However, just as there
is some level of risk involved every time you drive a car, there are risks involved indeveloping
romantic relationships and these risks are highest when we are young and inexperienced.
Similarly to the way in which the degree of risk involved in driving depends on a number of
21 ibid

factors, the risks associated with involvement in romantic relationships depend heavily on the
types of relationships and experiences adolescents have.22 Put some limitations and follow the
standards given by the person who knows this kind of an early relationship better.
Third suggestion based on the statement of the Headspace, "Adolescents romantic
experiences and relationships warrant attention.Even when they are short-lived, they can have a
major impact on adolescents day-to-day lives, and influence their emotional and social
development, their future functioning and their experience and expectations of intimate
relationships in adulthood."23 The people who are responsible with the teenagers who have this
kind of relationship must be more focused to the teenagers especially if it is related with that
teenager especially for those parents.
Lastly, the third suggestion is to check and notice if the relationship is healthy or unhealthy. It
means on what is going on the relationship in the teenagers if it is helpful or not. The people who
are responsible, especially the parents must know the situation of their sons or daughters about
this kind of relationship; they must look-out for if there are things that go wrong; they must be a
source of guide to ensure that teenagers may be helped in this part of adolescents growth.
Putting together the teenagers who are involved with this kind of an early boyfriendgirlfriend relationship must: Obey the rules, have limits, warrants attention especially the
parents, and checking out the relationship if it is helpful or not for the Filipino teenagers.

22Ibid, page 2
23 ibid

Bibliography

Lindegren, Henry Clay, Harvey, John H. An Introduction to Social Psychology. (3rd


Ed.) St. Louis, Missouri 63141: C.V. Mosby Company, 1981.

Davidoff, Linda L. Introduction to Psychology.(3rd Ed.) United States of America:


McGraw-Hill, Inc. 1987

Furman, Wyndol, Brown, B. Bradford, Feiring Candice. The Development of


Romantic Relationships in Adolescence.United States of America: Cambridge
University Press. 1999

Adolescent Romantic Relationships Why are they important? And should they be
encouraged or avoided? Headspace-National Youth Mental Health
Foundation.http://www.headspace.org.au/media/326676/romanticrelationships_adoles
cent_romantic_relationships_why_are_they_important_headspace_evsum.pdf.
January 12, 2015