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A number of senators are gathered in the imperial palace. Nervous. Theyve obviously been there for a while.
Typical politicians -- they are self-interested and speak in cliches.
OCTAVIUS Still nothing.
THE OLD SENATOR Nothing last night, nothing this morning.
LUCIUS Nothing for three days.
THE OLD SENATOR Messages go out, messages come in. And always the same answer -- "Nothing."
LUCIUS Weve combed the whole countryside. Theres nothing more to be done.
OCTAVIUS Except wait. There's no point rushing to meet trouble halfway. Perhaps he'll return as
abruptly as he left.
THE OLD SENATOR I saw him leave the palace. He had a strange look about him. OCTAVIUS So did I.
In fact, I asked him if anything was wrong.
LUCIUS Did he answer?
OCTAVIUS One word -- "Nothing."
A short silence. Helicon (a liberated slave) enters. He is eating.
CASSIUS (nervously) It's all very disturbing.
OCTAVIUS Come on now! Someone his age always takes it hard.
THE OLD SENATOR True, but everything works out in the long run. For one girl dead, theres a dozen
living ones. The woods are full of trees and the trees are full of birds.
HELICON Where did you get the idea that love has anything to do with it?
OCTAVIUS What else could it be?
HELICON Indigestion, perhaps. Or pure disgust at having to see you lot every day. If you could change
your looks from time to time, he might find it easier to put up with all of you. But the menu never changes -always the same old choice between sour rhubarb and stewed prunes.
OLD SENATOR I prefer to think it all started with love.
HELICON Because thats a sickness which spares no one, whether he be intelligent or an idiot.
OCTAVIUS Fortunately grief doesnt last forever. Are you capable of suffering for more than a year?
LUCIUS Not me.
OCTAVIUS No one could.
CASSIUS Life would he intolerable.
OCTAVIUS I lost my wife last year and at first I was in quite a state. Even now I feel a pang of grief at
times. Still, life must go on.
THE OLD SENATOR Time heals all wounds. Nature has a way of arranging things. (a senator wheezes)
HELICON (Patting him on the back) Sometimes wonder if Nature is always so perfect.
Cherea (younger than the other senators, but a respected intellectual) enters.
CHEREA Well. . . ?
OCTAVIUS Nothing.
HELICON (sarcastically) Be calm Cherea, be calm. Lets keep up appearances. We, after all, are the Roman
Empire.
OCTAVIUS I agree.
HELICON Worrying won't mend matters - and it's lunchtime.
CHEREA Everything was going too smoothly. This emperor was just too perfect.
LUCIUS He was just what we wanted: conscientious and inexperienced enough to take our advice.
OCTAVIUS He may go right on being the emperor weve known. He loved Drusilla but she was his sister
after all. Sleeping with her was one thing. Still, to put all Rome in a turmoil because the girl has died is
going too far. Lets hope his condition is only temporary.
CHEREA I dont like the look of it. His running away looks bad to me.
THE OLD SENATOR Yes, where there's smoke theres fire.
OCTAVIUS The interests of the State should prevent him from letting incest take on tragic proportions.
These things happen, but quietly.
HELICON Incest always makes a little noise. The bed squeaks. Still, you cant be sure that Drusilla is the
cause of all this trouble.
Scipio (younger than Caligula, one of his proteges) enters. Cherea goes toward him.
SCIPIO Still nothing. Some peasants think they saw him last night not far from Rome, but there was heavy
rain. (Scipio follows Cherea back to the senators)
CHEREA Has it really been three days, Scipio?
SCIPIO Yes . . . I was there, following along with him. He went up to Drusilla's body. Stroked it with two
fingers, and seemed lost in thought for a long while. Then he turned around and calmly walked out. Since
then everyones been searching for him.
CHEREA He was too fond of bad poetry.
LUCIUS Thats typical ...
CHEREA Of his age, perhaps, but not of his rank. An emperor with artistic and intellectual inclinations is a
contradiction in terms.
LUCIUS We've had one or two, of course. But theres misfits in every family. The others had the sense to
remain good bureaucrats.
OCTAVIUS Things ran efficiently.
THE OLD SENATOR Shoemaker stick to your trade.
HELICON I've no reason not to do so, Caius. But I know very few things, and few things interest me. In
what way can I help you?
CALIGULA In achieving the impossible.
Caligula goes out. Scipio and Caesonia (Caligulas beautiful courtesan) enter.
SCIPIO Have you seen him, Helicon?
HELICON No.
CAESONIA Tell me, Helicon. Are you sure he didn't confide anything to you before he went away?
HELICON I dont share his secrets. I'm merely his public. But, if you'll excuse me, I'm late for lunch. (Exit
Helicon.)
CAESONIA (sits wearily) One of the guards saw him go by. But all Rome sees Caligula everywhere, while
Caligula sees nothing but his own idea.
SCIPIO What idea?
CAESONIA How can I tell, Scipio?
SCIPIO Drusilla?
CAESONIA Perhaps. He did love her. And it's a cruel thing to see someone die today when you held her in
your arms only yesterday.
SCIPIO (timidly) And you . . . ?
CAESONIA Oh, I'm the trusted mistress. That's my role.
SCIPIO Caesonia, we have to help him.
CAESONIA You love him too?
SCIPIO I dont know what it is. He encourages me with words that would sound ridiculous coming out of
anyone elses mouth. "Life isn't easy, Scipio, but art or the love one inspires in others is all the consolation
we need." He once told me that making others suffer was the only human crime. Ironic, isnt it? An
emperor trying to be a just man.
CAESONIA (rising) He's just a child. (She goes to the mirror and scans herself.) My body is the only god I've
ever known, and now I pray to this god of mine that Caius may be brought back to me.
Caligula enters. On seeing Caesonia and Scipio he hesitates, and takes a backward step. At the same moment
several men enter from the opposite side of the room: senators and the Intendant of the palace. They stop short
when they see Caligula. Caesonia turns. She and Scipio hurry toward Caligula, who checks them with a
gesture.
INTENDANT (in a rather quavering voice) We . . . we've been looking for
you, Caesar, everywhere.
CALIGULA (in a changed, harsh tone) So I see.
INTENDANT We . . . I mean
CALIGULA (roughly) What do you want?
power, you will see what logic will cost you! I shall eliminate contradictions and contradictors. If necessary,
I'll begin with you.
INTENDANT Caesar, my good will can be relied on, that I swear.
CALIGULA And I can guarantee mine too. Just see how ready I am to adopt your point of view, and
consider the Treasury as an object of capital importance. You should be grateful to me for playing your
game and with your own cards. (He pauses, before continuing in a flat, unemotional tone.) In any case, there
is a touch of genius -- or should I say, common-sense -- in the simplicity of my plan, which clinches the
matter. I give you three seconds in which to make yourself invisible. One...
INTENDANT But -CALIGULA Two ... (the Indendant hurries out.)
CAESONIA Is this really you, Caligula? Was that supposed to be some kind of a joke?
CALIGULA Not exactly, Caesonia. Let's say it was a seminar in public administration.
SCIPIO But this isnt possible Caligula.
CALIGULA That's the point!
SCIPIO What do you mean?
CALIGULA I mean, Im concerned with the impossible, or rather with making possible the impossible.
SCIPIO Thats nothing more than the pastime of a lunatic.
CALIGULA No, Scipio. Its the vocation of an emperor. (He lets himself sit down, wearily) I've finally
understood the uses of power. It gives the impossible a chance. From now on my freedom will not be limited
by convention.
CAESONIA (sadly) I doubt if this discovery of yours will make us any happier.
CALIGULA Perhaps not. But it might make us more profound. (Cherea enters.)
CHEREA Ive just heard of your return. I trust your health is all it should be. CALIGULA My health
thanks you. (A pause. Then, abruptly)Now, go away Cherea. I don't want to see you.
CHEREA Im bewildered Caius.
CALIGULA Dont be. I dont like intellectuals. They talk in order not to hear themselves. If they listened to
themselves, they would know that they are nothing and then they couldnt talk. Therefore, Im dismissing
you. I hate liars.
CHEREA If we lie, it's often without knowing it. I plead not guilty.
CALIGULA Lying is always guilty. And your kind of deception is unforgiveable. It gives people a pumpedup sense of importance.
CHEREA Since this world is the only one we have, why not plead its cause?
CALIGULA No plea is necessary. The verdict's given: humanity has no special place in this world and
whoever realizes that wins his freedom. (rising) You are not free. I alone am free. Rejoice, for you finally
have an emperor to teach you freedom. Go away, Cherea, and you, too, Scipio. Go and spread the good
news to all Romans.
They go out. Caligula has turned away, hiding his eyes.
CAESONIA Youre crying. But what's really changed in your life? You may have loved Drusilla, but you
loved others, myself included, at the same time. Surely that wasn't enough to set you roaming the
countryside for three days and nights and bring you back with this . . . this cruel look on your face?
CALIGULA (turning round to her) Why drag Drusilla into this? Cant you imagine a person shedding for
anything other than love?
CAESONIA I'm sorry, Caius. I was only trying to understand.
CALIGULA Men cry because the world's all wrong. (She starts to embrace him.) No, Caesonia. (She draws
back.) But stay beside me.
CAESONIA Whatever you want. (Sits down.) Im no baby. I know that life's sometimes a sad business. But
why deliberately set out to make it worse?
CALIGULA You can't understand. But that doesnt matter. Perhaps I'll find a way out. Only I feel the
stirrings of nameless creatures within me, forcing their way up into the light - and I'm helpless against
them. (He moves closer to her, but doesnt see her) I knew people felt anguish, but I didn't know what the
word meant. Like everyone else I imagined it was the soul that suffered. But it's my body that's in pain.
Everywhere. In my chest, in my legs and arms. Even my skin is raw, my head is buzzing, I feel like
vomiting. But worst of all is this grotesque taste in my mouth. Not blood, nor death, nor fever, but a mixture
of all three. All I have to do is to stir my tongue for everything to become black and for human beings to
revolt me.
CAESONIA What you need is a good, long sleep. And stop thinking. Our thoughts run crazy when were
exhausted. I'll lie with you. When you wake, you'll find the world's got back its flavor. Then you must use
your power for loving better what there is still to love. For the possible, too, deserves to be given a chance.
CALIGULA What use is my power, Caesonia, if I can't have the sun set in the east, if I can't eliminate
suffering and keep human beings from dying? If I cant change the order of the world, it doesnt matter
whether I sleep or stay awake.
CAESONIA (sharply, impatiently) But that's insanity. It's wanting to be a god on earth, and no matter how
those flabby politicians represent you to the masses thats impossible.
CALIGULA So I'm mad to want a kingdom where the impossible rules?
CAESONIA (pressing, almost cutting him off) You can't prevent the sky from being the sky, or a fresh
young face from aging, or a man's heart from growing cold.
CALIGULA (with rising excitement) I want . . . I want to drown the sky in the sea, to see the beauty in
ugliness, to wring a laugh from pain.
CAESONIA (facing him with an imploring gesture) There's good and evil, high and low, justice and
injustice. I can assure you that will never change.
CALIGULA (in the same tone) Its my will to change that. I shall give this age the gift of equality. And when
everything is leveled out, when the impossible has come to earth and the moon is in my hands -- then,
perhaps, the world will be truly transformed, then perhaps there will be no more death and men will be
happy.
CAESONIA (with a cry) And what about love? Youll level that out too?
CALIGULA Living, Caesonia, is the opposite of loving! (He grips her shoulders and shakes her.) I've learned
the truth about life -- and now I invite you to the most gorgeous of shows, a sight for gods to gloat on, a
whole world put on trial. But for that I must have a crowd -- spectators, victims, criminals, hundreds and
thousands of them. (He rushes to the gong and hammers it once) Let the accused come forward. I want my
criminals, and they all are criminals. (Strikes the gong again) Bring in the condemned men. I must have my
public. Judges, witnesses, accused -- all sentenced to death without a hearing. Yes, Caesonia, I'll show them
something they have never seen before, the one free man in the Roman Empire. (To the clangor of the gong
the palace has been gradually filling with approaching people. Caligula poses with Caesonia on the floor
beneath him) And you, Caesonia, shall obey me. You must stand by me to the end. It will be marvelous,
you'll see. Swear to stand by me, Caesonia.
CAESONIA I needn't swear. You know I love you.
CALIGULA You'll do everything I tell you.
CAESONIA Everything, anything Caligula -- but please, stop.
CALIGULA You will be cruel.
CAESONIA (sobbing) Cruel.
CALIGULA Cold and ruthless.
CAESONIA Ruthless.
CALIGULA And you will suffer, too.
CAESONIA Yes, yes ... no, please, . . . I'm going as mad you! (Some senators enter, followed by members of
the palace staff. All look bewildered and perturbed. Caligula bangs the gong for the last time, raises his mallet,
swings round and summons them in a shrill, half-crazy voice.)
CALIGULA Come here. All of you. Nearer. Nearer still. (He is quivering with impatience.) Your Emperor
commands you to come nearer.(They come forward, pale with terror.) Quickly. And you, Caesonia, come
beside me. (He takes her hand, leads her to the mirror, and with a sudden wild sweep of his mallet smashes the
mirror. Everyone recoils. The whole set is covered with reflected images of the cracked mirror. Caligula
laughs) All gone. You see, my dear? An end of memories; no more masks. Nothing, nobody left. Nobody?
No, that's not true. Look, Caesonia. Come here, all of you, and look. (He plants himself in front of the mirror
and takes the pose of a crazy man.)
CAESONIA (staring, horrified, at the mirror) Caligula!
CALIGULA (His gaze steadies abruptly and then turns slowly to the crowd/audience. They are as shocked as
Caesonia. When he speaks his voice has a new, proud ardor.)
CALIGULA Yes . . . Caligula.
ACT TWO
Three years later. A room in Cherea's house, where the senators have met in secret.
OCTAVIUS He insults our dignity.
THE OLD SENATOR Death's too good for someone who calls me "darling" in public!
OCTAVIUS Every evening we have to jog behind his carriage when he goes out into the country.
LUCIUS The exercise will do us good, he says.
THE OLD SENATOR Theres no excuse for it.
CASSIUS No, he cant be forgiven.
OCTAVIUS He confiscated your property, Patricius. He killed your father, Scipio. He's taken your wife
from you, Lucius, and forced her to work in his new public brothel. Cassius, he killed your son. I dont
know about you but Ive made my choice. Between the risk we have to take and this unbearable life in
helpless fear, I cannot hesitate. Can you still hesitate?
CASSIUS We're with you! He gives away our private boxes at the stadium to the rabble and eggs us on to
fight with them -- just to have a pretext for punishing us later.
THE OLD SENATOR He's a coward.
LUCIUS A bully.
CASSIUS A buffoon.
THE OLD SENATOR He's impotent -- I say that's his trouble.
Confusion follows as there is a general rush to exclaim indignation and the necessity to act. Cherea strolls in,
composed as usual.
CHEREA How energetic youve all become. Do you think the palace will welcome such an unruly mob. I
assume thats your next stop.
OCTAVIUS We dont plan to ask permission to enter.
CHEREA May I have permission to sit down in my own house? (Cherea moves toward a seat studying the
others) It's not so simple as you think, my friends. This is all too premature.
CASSIUS If you're not with us, leave us, but keep your mouth shut.
CHEREA Oh I think I'm with you, but not for the same reasons.
CASSIUS Weve talked enough!
CHEREA (standing up) Maybe, but youre rushing to your destruction because you haven't recognized the
nature of your true enemy.
CASSIUS We see him for what he is, all right -- a crazy tyrant.
CHEREA No. We've had experience of mad emperors. But this one isn't mad enough. He knows exactly
what he wants.
OCTAVIUS He wants the death of every one of us.
CHEREA Thats just secondary. Caligula is frightening because he's putting his power at the service of a
deadlier passion. Losing my life is no small matter, but seeing it drained of meaning -- that is unbearable!
No one can live without justification.
OCTAVIUS Revenge is justification.
CHEREA Yes, and Ill share it with you. But I've got no interest in avenging your petty humiliations. I
intend to fight against an ideal. Caligula is converting his philosophy into corpses and, unfortunately for us,
it is an irrefutable philosophy. Where one cannot refute, one must strike.
CASSIUS Act now, then!
CHEREA Fine, we must act. But an imperial madman at the height of his power cannot be attacked headon. Use a little of his own cunning.Encourage his dispassionate evil and bide your time until its logic
founders in sheer lunacy. Im being quite honest with you. Afterwards, I wont serve any of your interests.
What spurs me on is not ambition but the fear of an inhuman dream in which my life any life counts as
nothing.
OCTAVIUS (approaching him) I think I have more or less grasped your point. But the important thing is
that you, too, feel that the whole fabric of our society is threatened. For me -- and I think you will all agree --
it is first of all a question of right and wrong. Family life is breaking down, respect for honest work is lost.
Can we refuse to hear the appeal of traditional values in this hour of danger?
ALL No!
OCTAVIUS Will you tolerate a state of things in which we are forced to run, like slaves, beside Caligulas
carriage?
ALL No!
THE OLD SENATOR Are you willing to be addressed as "darling"?
LUCIUS And have your wives snatched away?
CASSIUS Your money too?
ALL TOGETHER No! (Mereias "No" ends in an asthmatic wheeze and nearly collapses)
OCTAVIUS Cherea, youve given us good advice. We should calm down and take care not to act
precipitously. The masses would still be against us. Lets track public opinion. But when the time is ripe,
Cherea, will you join hands with us, and strike hard?
CHEREA (Slowly shakes his head, yes) In the meantime, though, let Caligula follow his dream. We must
even encourage his wildest plans. Help organize his madness. Then one day, he will stand alone facing an
Empire peopled only by the dead and relatives of the dead.
OCTAVIUS Alright, gentlemen, we stand prepared!
A general uproar. Then silence, but for whispers of a name: "Caligula!" Caligula enters with Caesonia,
followed by Helicon and some soldiers. Pantomime. Caligula halts and gazes at the conspirators. Without a
word he moves from one to the other, straightens a buckle on one man's shoulder, steps back to contemplate
another, sweeps them with his gaze, then draws his hand over his eyes and walks out, still without a word.
CAESONIA (Ironically, pointing to the disorder of the room) Were you having a fight?
CHEREA Yes, we were fighting.
CAESONIA Really. Why were you fighting?
CHEREA No reason at all.
CAESONIA Then it isn't true.
CHEREA What isn't true?
CAESONIA You were not fighting.
CHEREA Have it your own way, then. We were not fighting.
CAESONIA (smiling) Perhaps you'd better tidy up the place. Caligula hates disorder. HELICON You dont
want to make him step out of character.
THE OLD SENATOR But . . . I don't understand. What have we done to him?
HELICON Nothing, and thats just it. Youre so incredibly unimportant -- boring enough to get on
anybody's nerves. Just put yourselves in Caligula's place. (A short pause.) Of course, you were doing a bit of
plotting, weren't you?
THE OLD SENATOR That's too absurd. How could Caligula ever think that?
HELICON He doesn't think that. He knows that. But then I suppose thats what he really wants. Come on
now, lets tidy up. (Caligula enters and watches them)
CALIGULA (to the Old senator) Good morning, darling. (to the others) Cherea, Ive decided to have a little
lunch in your house. Lucius, I allowed myself to invite your wife. (the servants who came in with Caligula
start to uncover the food). Just a moment! Gentlemen, you are well aware that the finances of the State have
held up only out of habit and now habit itself has collapsed. Consequently, I feel the unpleasant necessity of
reducing my staff. In a spirit of sacrifice that I am sure you will appreciate, I have decided to cut my own
expenses, to free several slaves, and to assign you to my service. Please set the table and serve it. (The
senators look uneasily at each other) Come on, put your minds to it! Public administrators should be able to
develop an efficient system. (To Helicon) It seems to me, theyre out of practice.
HELICON To tell the truth, they never were in practice, except to give orders or complain about those they
order about. Youll have to patient, thats all. It takes a day to make an administrator and ten years to
make a skilled worker.
CALIGULA But Im afraid it will take twenty years to make a skilled worker out of an administrator.
HELICON Nevertheless, theyre showing progress. If you ask me, they have a talent for it. Slavery suits
them. Look, they are even beginning to sweat. Thats a step in the right direction.
CALIGULA Yes, theyre not so bad after all. However, we shall have to hurry; I have an appointment at an
execution. (The senators freeze with fear). Rufius should thank his lucky stars that I've been seized with
hunger. (Confidentially) Rufius is the general who is to die. (short pause) Doesnt anyone want to know why
he is going to die? (No one speaks.) Good for you! I see you're growing quite intelligent. You have realized
that it is not necessary for a human being to have done anything in order to die. (He stops eating and gazes at
his guests with a twinkle in his eye.) My loyal troops, I am proud of you. Dont you agree Helicon? (Looks at
the guests roguishly)
HELICON A formidable army indeed, Caius. But if you ask my opinion, they are getting too intelligent to
want to fight. If they make any more progress, the Empire is lost!
CALIGULA Oh well, lets relax. Just sit anywhere. Mingle. Dont pay any attention to rank today. (All are
seated, music is playing. Grotesquely forced party atmosphere) There's no denying that Rufius is a lucky man.
But I wonder if he appreciates this short reprieve. Nothing is more precious than a few hours grace when
death is waiting. (He begins eating; the others follow suit. Caligula's table manners are deplorable. Suddenly
he stops and stares at one of the guests) Cassius, you seem in a bad mood. Is it because I had your son killed?
CASSIUS (with a lump in his throat) Not at all, Caius, quite the contrary.
CALIGULA (beaming at him) "Quite the contrary!" It's always nice to see a face that hides the secrets of
the heart. Your face is sad, but your heart? Quite the contrary, wouldnt you say, Cassius?
CASSIUS(doggedly) Quite the contrary, Caesar.
CALIGULA (more and more enjoying the situation) Cassius, there's no one I like better than you. Let us
laugh together, shall we? Tell me a funny story.
CASSIUS (who has overrated his endurance) Please ...
CALIGULA All right, all right. Ill tell you one then. But you will laugh, wont you, Cassius? (with a glint of
malice) If only for the your second sons sake. (Smiling again.) Besides, you've just said you're not in a bad
mood. (He takes a drink, then says in the tone of a teacher prompting a pupil.) Quite . . . quite the ...
CASSIUS (wearily) Quite the contrary, Caesar.
CALIGULA Im glad. (Drinks again.) Just listen, now. (In a gentle, dreamy tone) Once upon a time there
was a poor young emperor whom no one loved. He, loving Cassius, had Cassius younger son put to death to
remove that love from his heart. (In a different manner) Needless to say, thats not true. Still it's a funny
story, isnt it? But you're not laughing. No one is laughing? Now listen! (in a burst of anger) I want everyone
to laugh. (he gives a horrible cackling laugh). My army of senators. Caligulas advisory committee. CAC (he
bangs on a table, and in a travesty of laughter) Cac! Cac! Cac! Cac! (no one moves) Stand up, every one of
you and laugh. Cassius will lead (He pounds the table violently.) Do -- what -- I -- say. Cac! Cac! Cac!
Cac!. (Cassius rises and painfully forces the laughter until it verges on weeping. Caligula looks at Octavius who
rises and starts to laugh, then at Lucius, until all the senators are on their feet executing a horrifying loud,
mechanical travesty of laughter. Caligula has jumped up on a table and conducts them, like an orchestra
leader, in a series of staccato laughs which rise in intensity -- Cac, Cac, Cac. Cac, Cac, Cac. Cac! Cac! Cac!
During this scene all the players, Caligula and Caesonia excepted, behave like marionettes in a puppet play.
Suddenly, he stops them abruptly with a conductors gesture and sinks back on his couch, with Caesonia,
beaming with delight, and bursts into a fit of natural laughter.) Oh, Caesonia! Just look at them! Ive rolled
the dice and what do you see. Decency, respectability, regard for public opinion, everything has ceased to
have any meaning. The wind of fear has blown them all away. What a noble emotion fear is, Caesonia, pure
and unalloyed and disinterested, one of the few to derive its nobility from the guts. (In a friendly tone) Let's
change the subject. What do you have to say, Cherea? You've been very silent.
CHEREA I'm quite ready to speak, Caius, as soon as you give me permission.
CALIGULA Excellent. Keep quiet then. I'd rather hear from our friend Lucius.
LUCIUS (reluctantly) As you wish, Caius.
CALIGULA Then tell us something about your lovely, young wife. Send her over to me. (Lucius' wife clings
to her husband, but Caesonia takes her and leads her over to Caligula. All the while looking at Lucius, he
unbuttons the front of her dress with great deliberation and thrusts his hand in.) Well, Lucius? Cats got your
tongue?.
LUCIUS (hardly knowing what he says) My wife . . . Why, I love her.
Embarrassed laughter from the senators.
CALIGULA Of course, my friend, of course. But thats so ordinary. (He is leaning toward her, tickling her
shoulder playfully with his tongue. She is white with fear.) By the way, when I came in just now, you were
plotting, weren't you? Indulging in a sleazy little plot?
OLD SENATOR Caius, how can you . . . ?
CALIGULA Its not at all important, darling. Old age will have its flings. I won't take it seriously. None of
you are capable of a courageous act. (Helicon whispers in his ear) It has just occurred to me that I have a
political decision of some importance to make. But first, I must answer the overwhelming desires prompted
by nature.
Caligula crosses to leave but realizes that Luciuss wife remains where she was. He motions to her with a little
finger and stays where he is. She looks to Lucius but he averts his eyes as Caesonia again leads her over to
Caligula. Lucius starts to move, but Helicon moves his hand to his weapon and stops him.
CAESONIA (amiably making conversation) Oh, Lucius, please pour me another glass of this excellent
wine. (Lucius complies) Now, Cherea, suppose you tell me why you were fighting a moment ago?
CHEREA (coolly) Our quarrel arose, Caesonia, from a discussion about whether poetry is dead.
CAESONIA An interesting question. Its beyond my limited intelligence, of course, but Im surprised that
your passion for art should lead you to blows.
CHEREA Indeed. But Caligula used to tell me that there is no true passion without a touch of cruelty.
HELICON Nor any love without a touch of rape.
CAESONIA (eating) There's some truth in that. Don't you all agree?
THE OLD SENATOR Yes. Caligula has rare pyschological insight.
HELICON (standing, declaims in a droning voice) "Execution relieves and liberates. Capital punishment is a
universal tonic, and just, both in application and in theory. The individual is guilty because he is a subject of
Caligula. But everyone is a subject of Caligula, hence everyone is guilty. Therefore it follows that everyone
dies. Its merely a matter of time and patience."
CALIGULA (laughing) Well, what do you think? That bit about patience was a nice touch wasn't it? Allow
me to tell you, that's the quality I most admire in you. Now, you lot can leave. But you stay, Caesonia. You
too, Cassius and Octavius. Mereia too. I want to have a little talk with you about the administration of our
National Brothel. I'm quite concerned about it. (The others file out slowly.)
CHEREA What's the trouble, Caius? Is the staff inadequate?
CALIGULA No, but the profits are falling off.
MEREIA The prices will have to be raised.
CALIGULA Mereia, you have just missed a golden opportunity to keep your mouth shut. You're too old to
be interested in this subject, and I don't want your opinion.
MEREIA Then why ask me to stay?
CALIGULA In a view moments I shall need some cool, dispassionate advice. (Mereia moves away.)
CHEREA I may be speaking too passionately, Caius, but raising the prices would certainly enhance the
prestige of the Brothel.
CALIGULA Nonsense! What's needed is a bigger turnover. I've explained my new initiative to Caesonia,
and she will outline it for you. I've had too much wine and Im beginning to feel sleepy. (He lies down and
closes his eyes.)
CAESONIA It's very simple. Caligula is creating a brand new decoration. It will be called the Badge of
Civic Merit and awarded to those who have diligently patronized Caligula's National Brothel.
CHEREA Thats brilliant!
CAESONIA I think so. Anyway, the badges will be awarded each month after checking the admission
tickets. Any citizen who has not won a badge within twelve months will be exiled or executed.
CHEREA Why "or executed"?
CAESONIA Caligula says it doesn't matter which -- but it's important he should retain the right to decide.
CHEREA Pure genius! The Treasury will wipe out its debt in no time.
HELICON And note that everythings done in the most moral way. After all, it is better to tax vice than to
ransom virtue.
Caligula has half opened his eyes and is watching old Mereia who, standing
in a corner, has produced a small flask and is sipping its contents.
CALIGULA (still lying on the couch) What's that you're drinking, Mereia?
MEREIA It's for my asthma, Caius.
CALIGULA (rises, and thrusting the others aside, goes up to Mercia and sniffs his mouth) No, it's an
antidote.
MEREIA Not at all, Caius! You must be joking. I have fits of choking during the
night and I've been taking this doctor's prescription for months.
CALIGULA So, you're afraid of being poisoned?
MEREIA My asthma -CALIGULA Why beat about the bush? You're afraid I'll poison you. You suspect me. You're keeping an
eye on me.
MEREIA By heavens, no!
CALIGULA You suspect me. I'm not to be trusted, am I?
MEREIA Caius!
CALIGULA (harshly) Answer me! (In a cool, judicial tone) Since you are taking an antidote, you obviously
think I intend to poison you.
MEREIA Yes . . . I mean . . . no!
CALIGULA And since you think that I have decided to poison you, you are doing all you can to frustrate
my plans to restructure Rome. That makes two crimes, plus an alternative from which you can't
escape. Either I had no intention of causing your death, in which case you are unjustly suspecting me, your
emperor. Or else I do desire your death, in which case, vermin that you are, you're trying to thwart my
will.(Pause. Caligula contemplates the old man .) Well, Mereia, is my reasoning sound?
MEREIA Its water-tight, Caius. But it doesn't apply to the case.
CALIGULA Ah, you take me for a fool. Defaming the character of your emperor. Thats a third crime.
Listen carefully. Of these three crimes only one of them is a credit to you, the second one -- because the
moment you attribute a decision to me and oppose it, that implies revolt. You are therefore a leader of men,
a revolutionary. That is courageous. (sadly) I'm fond of you, Mereia. Thats why you'll be condemned for
crime number two, and not for either of the others. You shall die like a man for having rebelled. (While he
talks Mereia is shrinking together on his chair.) Don't thank me. Thats not necessary. Here. (Holds out a
phial. His tone is amiable.) Drink this poison.(Mereia shakes his head. He is sobbing violently. Caligula shows
signs of impatience.) Don't waste time. Take it. (Mereia makes a feeble attempt to escape. But Caligula with a
wild leap is on him, catches him in the center of the stage and after a brief struggle pins him down on a low
couch. He forces the phial between his lips and smashes it with a blow of his fist. After some convulsive
movements Mereia dies. His face is streaming with blood and tears. Caligula rises, wipes his hands absentmindedly, then hands Mereia's flask to Caesonia.) What was it? An antidote?
CAESONIA (calmly) No, Caligula. Asthma medicine.
CALIGULA (A short pause, gazing down at Mereia) No matter. It all comes to the same thing in the end. A
little sooner, a little later. . . (He goes out hurriedly, still wiping his hands, Helicon follows him).
CASSIUS (horrified) What shall we do?
CAESONIA (coolly) Remove that body to begin with. It's gross and ugly.
CASSIUS (to Cherea, as he lifts up the body with Cherea and Cassius) We must act quickly.
CHEREA Well need at least a hundred. (They drag the body into the wings.)
Young Scipio enters. Seeing Caesonia, he makes as if to leave.
CAESONIA Come here.
SCIPIO What do you want?
CAESONIA Nearer. (She pushes up his chin and looks him in the eyes. Pause. Coldly) He killed your father,
didn't he?
SCIPIO Yes.
CAESONIA And you hate him?
SCIPIO Yes.
CAESONIA You want to kill him?
SCIPIO Yes.
CAESONIA But why tell me?
SCIPIO Killing him or being killed. Both are ways out of this. Besides, you won't betray me.
CAESONIA Youre right. I wont betray you. But Id like to tell you something -- to speak to the best in
you.
SCIPIO Youll be talking to my hatred then.
CAESONIA Just listen. First, try to imagine your father's death. His agonized face as they were tearing out
his tongue. Think of that mouth filled with blood and of his screaming like a tortured animal. (SCIPIO is
stunned. CAESONIA grabs him and looks directly into his face) Listen: now think of Caligula and try to
understand him. (She exits. Scipio just stands there).
HELICON (Entering) Run along, my little poet.
SCIPIO I need your help, Helicon.
HELICON (Moving away) Too dangerous. And poetry is a closed book to me. Now get going, Caligula will
be here in a moment.
SCIPIO You know so much.
HELICON I know that time passes and that growing boys shouldnt miss a meal. I also know youre
capable of killing Caligula . . . and that he wouldn't be averse to you doing it.
Helicon goes out. Caligula enters.
CALIGULA Ah, it's you, Scipio. (He pauses, seeming embarrassed.) I havent seen you in a long
time. (Slowly approaches Scipio.) What have you been up to? Still writing, I suppose.
SCIPIO (with his back to Caligula; ill at ease, torn between hatred and some less defined emotion) I have
written a few poems, Caesar.
CALIGULA About what?
SCIPIO Oh, on nothing in particular. Well, on Nature in a way.
CALIGULA A fine theme. And a vast one. What has Nature done for you though?
SCIPIO (pulling himself together, ironically and defiantly) She consoles me for not being Caesar.
CALIGULA Ah, and do you think she could console me for being Caesar?
SCIPIO (in the same tone) Why not? Nature has cured deeper infections than that.
CALIGULA (in a curiously young, unaffected voice) Infections? I detect malice in your voice. Because I put
killed your father? . . . (in a different tone) Well, well, there's nothing like hatred for developing intelligence.
SCIPIO (stiffly) I answered your question.
Caligula takes the young man's face between his hands.
CALIGULA Recite your poem to me, please.
SCIPIO No.
CALIGULA Why not?
SCIPIO I dont have it with me.
CALIGULA Can't you remember it?
SCIPIO No.
CALIGULA Tell me at least what's in it.
SCIPIO (still hostile; moves toward Caligula in spite of himself) It speaks of -CALIGULA Well?
SCIPIO No, I cant -CALIGULA Try -SCIPIO It speaks of a . . . a certain harmony .
CALIGULA (breaking in; in a pensive voice) . . . between one's feet and the earth.
SCIPIO (looking surprised) Yes, it's almost that.
CALIGULA Go on.
SCIPIO And it tells of the silhouette of the Roman hills and the sudden thrill of peace that twilight brings to
them -CALIGULA -- of the sharp cries of swallows winding through the green dusk.
SCIPIO (yielding more and more to his emotion) Yes! And that precarious moment when the sky all flushed
with red and gold swings round and shows its other side, spangled with stars.
CALIGULA The faint smell of trees, of wood smoke mingling with the rising night mist.
SCIPIO (completely won over) And the chirr of crickets, the coolness veining the warm air, the rumble of
last carts and the farmers' calling, dogs barking -CALIGULA And the roads drowned in shadows curving through the aromatic olive groves.
SCIPIO That's just it . . . But how did you know it in all the detail?
CALIGULA (drawing Scipio to his breast) Im not sure! Perhaps because we love the same things.
SCIPIO (not quite knowing how to respond to Caligula) Everything I feel or think of, seems to turn to love.
CALIGULA (stroking his hair) Such transparent innocence, Scipio! Thats why you cant understand my
own appetite for life. You belong to another world. You are as good as I am evil.
SCIPIO I do understand.
CALIGULA No. There's something hidden in me -- a pool of silence matted with rotting weeds. (With an
abrupt change of manner) Your poem sounds very beautiful. But if you really want my opinion ...
SCIPIO (his head on Caligula's breast, murmurs) Yes?
CALIGULA Its all quite . . . anemic.
SCIPIO (Recoils abruptly, as if stung by a serpent; then gazes horrified, at Caligula) Leading me on as always.
And now you're just some predator gloating over its kill.
CALIGULA (with a hint of sadness) There is some truth in what you say. I have been pretending.
SCIPIO (in the same tone) It must be torture to put up with that cancer in your heart.
CALIGULA (gently) That's enough.
SCIPIO You sicken me but I pity you more!
CALIGULA (angrily) Enough!
SCIPIO And I just realized how horribly lonely you!
CALIGULA (in a rush of anger, gripping the boy by the collar, and shaking him) Lonely! What do you know
of it? The loneliness of teenage poets and impotent men. You babble away, but you don't realize that one
is never alone. The same load of the future and the past crushes us all. Those we have killed are always with
us. But they are no great trouble. It's those we have loved, those who loved us and whom we did not love;
regrets, desires, bitterness and sweetness, whores and gods, the celestial gang! Always, always with us! (He
releases Scipio and moves back to his former place.) Alone! If only in this ghoul-haunted wilderness of mine, I
could enjoy real silence with only the rustling of a tree!(Sitting down and suddenly weary.) Solitude? No,
Scipio, mine is full of gnashings of teeth, hideous with jarring sounds and voices. And lying beside any
woman I caress, as night closes over us and my body is finally satisfied, when I hope to find myself poised
between life and death even then my solitude is fouled by the stale smell of pleasure from the woman still
moaning at my side.
A long silence. Caligula seems weary and despondent. Scipio moves behind him and approaches hesitantly. He
slowly stretches out a hand toward him, from behind, and lays it on his shoulder. Without looking round,
Caligula places his hand on Scipio's.
SCIPIO Everyone has some secret consolation in life. Have you nothing of the kind? Nothing to which you
can turn? No refuge, no mood that makes the tears well up?
CALIGULA Yes I do.
SCIPIO What is it?
CALIGULA (Pause. Caligula pushes Scipios hand off his shoulder. Slowly and deliberately) Scorn.
Act Three
A room in the imperial palace. Before the lights come up, music and noise can be heard, and when they come
up we see a small stage on the stage. On it are Caesonia and Helicon. Seated with their backs to the audience
are the senators and young Scipio. Helicon and Caesonia run the show like a combination of fairground, Nazi
rally, evangelical meeting and pagan ceremony.
HELICON Step up! Step up! One and all! Step up! Once more a god walks the earth in the human form of
our emperor known as Caligula. Rise up, you mortals of common clay and witness a holy miracle with your
own eyes. Through a favor reserved for the blessed reign of Caligula, divine secrets will be revealed to
all. (Cymbals.)
CAESONIA Come, gentlemen. Come and adore him -- and don't forget your charitable donations. Today
heaven and its mysteries are on show, at a price to suit every bank account. (cymbals)
HELICON See Olympus naked! The whole intimate truth. Revelations in high places! (Cymbals.)
CAESONIA Worship him! Throw your money to him. Quick, quick, gentlemen. The show is about to
begin. (Cymbals.)
HELICON A sensational reincarnation of truth. An epoch-making production with breathtaking effects
(light effects) and music to lift the soul. (music) See fate with your own eyes (over the music) -- a triumph of
the will!
Caesonia and Helicon pose. Costumed religious worshippers appear and dance to the music -- around Caesonia
and Helicon, and occasionally abusing the worshipping patricians. The music stops suddenly and two dancers
draw aside a curtain to reveal Caligula. He is beaming through a female mask, blonde curls and golden breast
cones.
CALIGULA (amiably) I'm Venus today.
CAESONIA Now for the adoration. Bow down. (All but Scipio bend their heads.) And repeat after me the
litany of Venus-Caligula.
"Our Lady of pain and pleasure
THE SENATORS "Our Lady of pains and pleasures
CAESONIA "Born of the waves, bitter and bright with seafoam
THE SENATORS "Born of the waves, bitter and bright with seafoam
CAESONIA "Oh Queen, whose gifts are laughter and regrets
THE SENATORS "Oh Queen, whose gifts are laughter and regrets
CAESONIA "Teach us the indifference that revives love
THE SENATORS "Teach us the indifference that revives love
CAESONIA "Make known to us the truth about this world -- which is that it has none
THE SENATORS "Make known to us the truth about this world -- which is that it has none
CAESONIA "And grant us strength to live up to that unparalled truth
THE SENATORS "And grant us strength to live up to that unparalled truth
CAESONIA Pause!
THE SENATORS Pause!
CAESONIA (after a short silence Caesonia begins again but she goes faster as if in a trance, and the senators
cant keep up -- they are only able to repeat the last phrases) "Shower us with thy gifts, bestow on us thine
impartial cruelty. Rain upon our heads thy harvests of flowers and murders
HELICON Yes?
CALIGULA Are you getting on with your work?
HELICON What work?
CALIGULA The moon.
HELICON Im making progress. It takes time and patience. But I'd like to have a word with you.
CALIGULA I might have patience, but I havent much time. So youll have to hurry.
HELICON I said I'd do my best. But, first, I have something to tell you.
CALIGULA (as if he has not heard) Mind you, I've had her already
HELICON Whom?
CALIGULA The moon.
HELICON Yes .... yes, of course. But do you know there's a plot on your life?
CALIGULA I really had her, too. Only two or three times, to be sure. But, oh, I did have her.
HELICON I've been trying to tell you about it, only -CALIGULA It was last summer. With all my gaping at her and caressing her on the columns in the garden
she had eventually caught on.
HELICON Forget the trivialities, Caius. You have to hear this
CALIGULA (applying red polish to his toenails) This polish is no good at all. But, to come back to the moon - it was a cloudless August night.(Helicon looks sulkily away, and keeps silence.) In the beginning she was
coy. I was already in bed. Then she began to rise, brighter and brighter, quicker and quicker. The higher
she rose, the lighter she became till finally she was a milky white pool amidst the multitudinous rustling of
stars. She stepped over the threshold and, slowly but surely, glided to my bed, slipped in and bathed me in
her smiles and dazzle. Then she came in the warm night air -- gentle, weightless and naked. -- No, this new
polish is a failure ... So you see, Helicon, I can say, without boasting, that I've had her.
HELICON Now will you listen?
CALIGULA (ceasing to fiddle with his toes, and gazing at him fixedly) All I
want, Helicon, is the moon. I know in advance what will kill me. I haven't yet tasted everything that can
keep me alive. That's why I want the moon. And dont come back before youve captured her for me.
HELICON (gets up) Alright. . . . I'm going to tell you anyway. There's a plot. Cherea is the leader. This
letter came into my hands. It will tell you the essentials. Im leaving it here. (He places the letter on one of the
seats and moves away.)
CALIGULA Where are you off to, Helicon?
HELICON (just before he exits) To get the moon for you.
There is an uneasy cough from the rear. Caligula swings round and sees the Old SENATOR.
THE OLD SENATOR (timidly) May I, Caius ... .
CALIGULA Come in! Come in! (Standing up and with mock eagerness.) So, my pet, you've returned to have
another look at Venus.
THE OLD SENATOR Well . . . no. It's not quite that. Its . . . You know I'm very, very devoted to you -and my one desire is to end my days in peace.
CALIGULA Come to the point! Come to the point!
THE OLD SENATOR Ssh! (realizing that hes telling Caligula to be quiet) Oh, sorry, Caius! I only wanted ...
. Well, it's . . . it's like this.(hurriedly) It's terribly serious, that's what I meant to say.
CALIGULA No, it isn't serious.
THE OLD SENATOR What isn't, Caius?
CALIGULA But what are we talking about, darling?
THE OLD SENATOR (glancing nervously round the room) I mean -(Wriggles, shuffles, then bursts out with it.) There's a conspiracy.
CALIGULA (Sits and resumes toe-nail painting) You see. Just as I said, it isn't serious.
THE OLD SENATOR (Sits next to Caligula) Caius, they intend to kill you.
CALIGULA (approaching him and grasping his shoulders) Do you know why I can't believe you?
THE OLD SENATOR (raising an arm, as if to take an oath) May God bear witness, Caius ...
CALIGULA Don't swear. I particularly ask you not to swear. (Gently but firmly pressing him back. Sees his
nails and starts to paint them)Listen, instead. If what you were saying were true, I should have to come to the
conclusion that you are breaking confidence with your colleagues in Caligulas advisory committee,
shouldnt I?
THE OLD SENATOR (flustered) That is, Caius, considering the deep affection I have for you -CALIGULA (dabs gently a little paint on SENATORs nose) And Id hate to come to that conclusion. After
all, I loathe cowardly traitors so much that I could never resist having one put to death. But I know the man
you are, my valued friend. And certainly you neither wish to play the traitor nor to die.
THE OLD SENATOR Certainly not, Caius. Most certainly not. (Almost weeping, he bows his bald head to to
look at his painted nails)
CALIGULA (Hold the SENATORs bald head at arms length and measuring it with a judicious eye) So you
see I was right in refusing to believe you. Youre not a coward are you? (Paints a comic face on his bald
head).
THE OLD SENATOR Oh, no!
CALIGULA (Still painting) Nor a traitor?
THE OLD SENATOR I need hardly tell you that, Caius.
CALIGULA And consequently there is no plot, is there? This was just a practical joke of yours?
THE OLD SENATOR (feebly, his face distorted with terror) A joke, merely a joke.
CALIGULA (Pushing SENATORs face down to continue painting) Obviously, no one wants to kill me.
CHEREA I've already told you: because you are a constant menace. I need to feel secure. Like most people.
They resent living in a world where the strangest thoughts can become reality in the twinkling of an eye and
transfix their lives like a knife in the heart. I feel the same way. I want to know where I stand, and to stand
secure.
CALIGULA Security and logic don't go together.
CHEREA Quite true. My plan of life may not be logical, but at least it's workable.
CALIGULA (intensely interested) Go on.
CHEREA There's no more to say. It's only natural that you should . . . disappear.
CALIGULA I see your point, and for most people, I grant you, it's obvious. But you? Youre intelligent and
a person either pays dearly for intelligence or represses it. I am paying up. But why are you both unwilling
to repress it and unwilling to pay up? You know better.
CHEREA Because I'm ordinary. There are moments when I desire the death of those I love, or lust after a
woman forbidden to me by friendship or family. Were logic everything, I'd kill or seduce on such occasions.
But you cant live that way.
CALIGULA So you believe in some higher ideal?
CHEREA I believe some actions are better than others.
CALIGULA And I dont believe theres any reason to choose between them.
CHEREA I understand, Caius, and, to a point, agree with you. That's why I don't hate you. Nevertheless,
you stand in our way and you must disappear.
CALIGULA So why risk your life by telling me this?
CHEREA Because others will take my place, and because I don't like to lie.
A short silence.
CALIGULA Cherea.
CHEREA Yes, Caius?
CALICULA Do you think that it's possible for two men of much the same temperament at least once in
their lives to open their hearts to each other?
CHEREA Isnt that what we've just been doing.
CALIGULA Yes, Cherea. But you thought I was incapable of it.
CHEREA I was wrong, Caius. I admit it, and I thank you. Now I await your sentence.
CALIGULA My sentence? Ah, I see. (Producing the letter from under his cloak.) Do you recognize this,
Cherea?
CHEREA I suspected you had a copy.
CALIGULA (stifles a scream, holding the letter up to his face, moves away from Cherea. Passionately) You
knew I had it! So your frankness was a piece of play acting. The two friends did not open their hearts to
each other. Oh well! At least we can stop playing at sincerity, and resume living the way we were. But first I
ask you to make just one more effort to swallow my insults and bad humor. Listen carefully, Cherea. This is
the only piece of evidence against you.
CHEREA (moves to go) I'm leaving Caius. I'm sick and tired of all these games. CALIGULA (in the same
tense, passionate voice) Just a minute. This letter is the only evidence. Right?
CHEREA Evidence? When have you needed evidence to send a man to his death.
CALIGULA That's true. But for once I want to contradict myself. It will harm no one, and its good to
contradict oneself occasionally. It relaxes a person. And I need relaxation Cherea.
CHEREA Youre too subtle for me, Caius.
CALIGULA I forgot, Cherea. You are a healthy man. You dont want to be an anything out of the ordinary
man. (Bursting into laughter)You want to live and to be happy -- That's all! Nothing more!
CHEREA Lets leave it at that.
CALIGULA A little patience, if you don't mind. I have evidence and I choose to assume that I can't
sentence you to death without it. That's my idea . . . and my relaxation. Well! See what becomes of evidence
in the hands of an Emperor. (He holds the letter to a torch. Cherea approaches. The torch is between them.
The letter begins to burn.) You see, conspirator! It burns, and as this proof disappears, a new innocence
dawns on your face again. What a handsome forehead you have, Cherea! And innocence is so beautiful!
Marvel at my power. Even a god cannot restore innocence without first punishing the culprit. But your
emperor needs only a torch flame to expiate your crime Consider in that light, the wonderful reasoning you
have just given me. Your emperor longs for his rest. That's his way of living and being happy.
Cherea stares, bewildered, at Caligula. He turns, but almost backs out, unable to take his eyes off Caligula who
is still holding up an imaginary letter to the flame. Caligula follows the receding figure with his gaze, laughing
and sobbing. Act Four
A room in the imperial palace. The stage is in semidarkness. Cherea and Scipio enter. Cherea crosses to the
right, then comes back left to Scipio.
SCIPIO (With a sullen mouth) What do you want of me?
CHEREA You didn't come to our meeting yesterday.
SCIPIO (looking away and crossing) That's right.
CHEREA Scipio, I'm not in the habit of asking help from others, but I need you now. You and I are the
only ones who can sponsor this murder with the right motives. I want you to stay with us.
SCIPIO I cant do that.
CHEREA So you are with him then?
SCIPIO No ...
CHEREA And yet he killed your father.
SCIPIO That's how it all began. But thats how it ends, too.
CHEREA Sometimes you just have to choose.
SCIPIO Were consumed by the same fire. Im unfortunate enough to understand him. CHEREA So you
have chosen to take his side.
SCIPIO (passionately) No, I can never, ever again take anyones side.
CHEREA (affectionately; approaching Scipio) Hes taught you to despair in taking any action because to do
so would bloody your innocent hands in some way or other. That, by itself, would justify me in killing
him. (Helicon enters.)
HELICON I've been looking for you, Cherea. Caligula's planning a little get-to-gether. He wants you to
wait for him. (to Scipio) You aren't invited. Off you go!
SCIPIO (looking back at Cherea as he goes out) Cherea.
CHEREA (gently) Yes, Scipio?
SCIPIO You do understand.
CHEREA (in the same gentle tone) No, Scipio.
Scipio and Helicon go out. The Old SENATOR and the Octavius are thrown into the room.
OCTAVIUS But what can he want with us at this hour of the night? If it's only to have us killed why all
these preliminaries?
THE OLD SENATOR We should have acted sooner; I always said so. Now we're in this torture
chamber. (Cherea enters)
CHEREA (Sits, showing no sign of apprehension.) Any idea what's happening?
SENATORS (speaking together) He's found out about the conspiracy.
CHEREA And?
TIlE OLD SENATOR (shuddering) Torture.
CHEREA (still unperturbed) Caligula once gave 81,000 sesterces to a slave who, despite torture, wouldn't
confess to a theft he had committed.
OCTAVIUS For some reason that doesnt console me.
CHEREA Hes a connoisseur of courage. You ought to keep that in mind. (to the Old Patrician) If you dont
mind, would stop chattering your teeth? I detest that sound.
THE OLD SENATOR Ah -- -OCTAVIUS Concentrate on the fact that our lives are at stake.
CHEREA (coolly) Youll be quoting Caligula next.
TIlE OLD SENATOR (on the verge of tears) Remember what he always says it to the executioner: "Kill him
slowly, so that he feels what dying's like and hence appreciates life more!"
CHEREA After an execution he yawns, and says quite seriously: "What I admire most is my insensitivity."
Thats my favorite.
OCTAVIUS I hear something.
CHEREA Of course such a remark betrays a weakness. If he were really insensitive he would never make
such a boast.
THE OLD SENATOR If you dont mind, would you stop philosophizing? I detest that!
CALIGULA (Looking at Lucius) And the loser must pay. The winner demands it. (A short silence.) Come,
Caesonia. (He turns to the others.)By the way, an idea has just ambushed me, and I want to share it with
you. Up to now my reign has been too happy. There's been no world-wide plague, no religious persecution,
not even a revolution -- in short, nothing likely to give us a place in history. In a sense, you see, thats why I
have been trying to make up for the modesty of fate. I mean -- I don't know if you've followed me -- well (he
gives a little laugh), in short, Im your plague. (In a different tone) But dont say a word. Heres Cherea's
coming. Youre on, Caesonia.
(Caligula goes out. Cherea enters. Caesonia hurries toward Cherea.)
CAESONIA Caligula is dead.
She turns her head, as if to hide her tears; her eyes are fixed on the others. Everyone looks horrified but for
different reasons. Cherea moves hastily from one man to the other. No one speaks except the Old Patrician who
cant help himself.
THE OLD SENATOR Only a short while ago he was dancing. (Caesonia fixes on him)
CAESONIA The effort was too much for him. (No one speaks.) You've nothing to say, Cherea?
CHEREA (in a low voice) It's a great misfortune for us all, Caesonia.
Caligula bursts in violently and goes up to Cherea.
CALIGULA Well played, Cherea. (He spins round and stares at the others. Petulantly) So it didn't come
off. (to Caesonia) Don't forget what I told you.
(Caligula abruptly dashes off. Nobody knows whats going on.)
THE OLD SENATOR (hoping against hope) Is he ill, Caesonia?
CAESONIA (with a hostile look) No, my pet. Though he never has more than two hours sleep and spends
the best part of the night stalking the corridors. You should give a thought to what may pass in this man's
mind in those hours between midnight and sunrise. Is he ill? No, hes not ill, unless you invent a name for
the boils and sores that fester in his soul.
(Recovering her composure and in a changed tone) Oh, I was forgetting. Caligula has decreed that today is to
be a special holiday devoted to art. So he has organized a poetry reading. A group of poets will be given a
set theme and asked to improvise. He wants the poets among you to take part in the competition. He
particularly mentioned young Scipio and wise Octavius.
OCTAVIUS But Im no poet --CAESONIA (In a level tone, as if she has not heard him) Needless to say there will be prizes. There will also
be penalties. (Looks of consternation.) Just between ourselves, the penalties are not too severe.
OCTAVIUS -- I can appreciate good poetry, but writing -- (Cut off by Caligulas entry, looking gloomier than
ever.)
CALIGULA All ready?
CAESONIA Yes. (Calling offstage) Poets can enter.
They enter and arrange themselves beside Scipio and Octavius.
CALIGULA The "Caligula Prize." Subject: death. Time limit: one minute.
The poets scribble feverishly on their tablets.
THE OLD SENATOR (Taking a keen interest) Who will compose the jury?
CALIGULA I shall. Isn't that enough?
THE OLD SENATOR Oh, yes, quite enough.
CHEREA Will you be competing, Caius?
CALIGULA Unnecessary. I wrote my poem on this theme long ago.
THE OLD SENATOR (Eagerly) Where can one get a copy of it?
CALIGULA No need. I recite it every day, in my own way.
(Caesonia eyes him nervously. Caligula rounds on her almost savagely.) Is there anything in my appearance
that displeases you?
CAESONIA (Gently) I'm sorry. (She turns away)
CALIGULA (Caligula turns to Cherea.) As I was saying. It's the only poem I have ever fathered, but its the
living proof that I am the only true artist Rome has ever known -- the only one, Cherea, to reconcile his
thoughts and his deeds.
CHEREA Surely its only a matter of having the power to do so.
CALIGULA Quite true. Other artists create because they lack power. I don't need to make a work of art; I
live it. (Brutally) Well, poets, are you ready? (No one answers)
CALIGULA Good. I take that for a yes. Listen carefully. When I whistle, the first of you will step forward
and begin reading. When I whistle again, he must stop and the second begin. And so on. The winner, of
course, will be the one whose poem has not been interrupted by the whistle. Get ready. (Turning to Cherea,
he whispers.) Efficient organization's needed for everything, even for art. (Blows his whistle.)
OCTAVIUS Death, when beyond thy murky banks ...
A blast of the whistle. The poet steps briskly to the left. The others will follow the same procedure. After
Octavius, these movements should be made with mechanical precision.
FIRST POET (full and impressive voice) In their dim cave, the fatal sisters three ... (Whistle.)
SECOND POET (lisping) I summon thee, sweet Death ...
A shrill blast of the whistle. The Fourth Poet steps forward and strikes a dramatic posture. The whistle goes
before he has opened his mouth.
FOURTH POET When I was in my happy infancy ...
CALIGULA (yelling) Stop! What possible connection could there be between the childhood of an idiot and
the subject of this competition? The connection! Tell me the connection!
FOURTH POET But, Caius, I havent finished. (Shrill whistle.)
FIFTH POET (in a high-pitched voice) Relentless, he stalks her virgin life ... (Whistle.)
SIXTH POET (mysteriously) Oh, this long, profound prayer ... (Whistle, broken off as Scipio comes forward
without paper.)
CALIGULA You haven't anything to read?
CALIGULA (hugs her from behind and gradually tightens his grip on Caesonia's throat) You may be sure of
it, Caesonia. Without it I might have been a smug man. Thanks to it, I have won the god-like lucidity of the
solitary man. (His exaltation grows as little by little he strangles Caesonia, who puts up no resistance. Bending
his head, he goes on speaking, into her ear.) I live, I kill, I exercise the rapturous power of a destroyer which
makes child's play of the power of a creator. This is happiness -- this unparalleled isolation of a man who
sees his whole life at once, the measureless joy of the unpunished assassin, this ruthless logic that crushes
human lives (he laughs), that's crushing yours out, Caesonia, to complete at last the eternal solitude I desire.
CAESONIA (struggling feebly) Caius .
CALIGULA (more and more excitedly) No, no sentiment. I must have done with it, for there is no time to
waste. There is no time to waste, dear Caesonia. (Caesonia has stopped breathing. He stares wildly at her; his
voice grows harsh and grating.) You, too, were guilty. But killing is not the solution. (He spins round and
gazes crazily at the mirror.) Caligula! You too, you too are guilty. Well, what can a little more or less matter?
But who would dare condemn me in this world where no one is innocent and nobody is judge? (He brings
his eyes close to his reflected face. He sounds genuinely distressed.) You see, Helicon has failed you. I won't
have the moon. Never, never, never! But how painful it is to know that and to have to go through to the
bitter end! Listen! Innocence arming for the fray, preparing for its final triumph. Why am I not in their
place, among them? I'm afraid. (Sound of his pain) After despising others, to recognize the same cowardice
in myself. But that doesnt matter. Fear doesnt last either. Im about to enter that great emptiness where
the heart has rest. (He seems calmer. When he speaks again his voice is steadier, less shrill.) Everything seems
so complicated. Yet everything is quite simple. If I'd had the moon, if love were enough, all would be
changed. But where can I quench this thirst? What heart, what god would be as deep and pure for me as a
great lake?(Kneeling, weeping.) Neither this world nor the other world has a place for me. Yet I know, and
you know (still weeping, he stretches out his arms toward the mirror) that all I needed was for the impossible
to be. The impossible! I've searched the confines of the world, along all my secret frontiers. I stretched out
my hands (Screaming, now at the moon). See, I still stretch out my hands, but I always find you confronting
me, and I've come to loathe you. Helicon! Nothing, nothing yet. Helicon! Oh, this night is heavy, heavy as all
of human suffering. Helicon will not come. We shall be guilty forever. (The shadows turn into Caligulas
killers. The patricians watch, but hold their coats over their faces while others surround Caligula and
repeatedly stab him. Caligula chokes and laughs as if embracing death.) In history, Caligula! In
history!(Caligulas body drops and the killers move triumphantly, but he pulls himself up to his knees) Im still
alive! (He dies, but the killers begin to strike at his body again until he turns into a bloody mass blending into
the red gloom)
END