1008PSY Interpersonal Skills

Assignment
Word Count: 1650
The interaction (150 Words)
The following is an interaction with myself referred to as
Malek or M and my cousin Danya (D) one afternoon at the
gym.
Danya 1: Hey, whats going on? (Walks into change room)
Malek 1: Nothing much, how was work today? (Eye Contact, smiling)
D2: Work was shit, my manager wanted to see me today to talk
about my shifts. (Walks in maintains eye contact and throws bag
down)
M2: Oh, did she say something to you? (Looking down at phone)
D3: It doesnt matter (Sighs, Arms crossed, lower voice tone)
M3: (Puts phone down and maintains eye contact) You seem
frustrated, you can tell me. Whats wrong?
D4: Shes trying to make me work on Saturdays when Ive told her
before that I cant work on weekends. (Eye contact, straight posture,
Hands on temples)
M4: Youre upset because youve told her before that you cant work
on weekends and shes still trying to make you work then.
(Maintained eye contact)
D5: EXACTLY its so annoying! I dont know what to say to her (Hand
on hip, appropriate proximity, steady eye contact)
M5: Yeah I dont know, oh my god look behind you isnt that the
lady from the party? (Distracted, Leaning back)
D6: I dont know, I think so. (Dull, rolls eyes)
M6: I didnt know she comes to this gym (Interested, no eye contact)
Effective communication skills are essential as part of the
communication process. Individuals gain comfort, support, and
recognition from this two way process. Usually a lack of response

can send negative messages, which leads to ineffective

interpersonal communication whereas a constructive response will
send a positive message, which as a result leads to effective
communication (Wright, 2007).
1. Identifying Effective Skills (8 Marks) How skills were effective
(Identification and explanation) (4), Reference from literature (2),
Refer to transcript (2)
Effective communication skills were displayed at M1, which assisted in the
enhancement of this interaction. One form of interpersonal skills that I used
that lead to effective communication was an open question. This
was effective in the interaction because it encouraged my cousin to
explain her feelings, thoughts attitudes and experience about her
day at work and offered her the chance to provide me with a more
in depth answer. Furthermore it also allowed my cousin the
opportunity to express herself openly and honestly (D2). Open
questions are used in order to draw out a wide range of responses
on a broad topic, they often ask for opinions thoughts or feelings
(Alessandra & Hunsaker, 2005). It is said that the use of an open
question at appropriate times can help encourage the speaker to
continue to speak (Griffith University, 2015). Alessandra &
Hunsaker (2005) also state that open questions are a part of
effective communication as they induce longer and more involved
answers. They indicate a sign of interest in conversation to the
speaker, by questioning to gain a better understanding of their point
of view.
Another effective interpersonal skill that was revealed in the
transcript is empathy and reflecting (mirroring skills). This was
evident at M4, where I attended and followed what my cousin was
saying. I then responded to my cousin by reflecting back to her the
emotions that she had communicated nonverbally. This skill is
effective because it shows my cousin that I was actively listening
and engaged in what she had been communicating, by paying
attention to her particular non verbal communication such as her
body language, facial expressions, tone of voice and posture. By
reflecting, it also allows her to become aware of her own emotions
and move toward a solution. This skill demonstrated that I had
empathised with her by putting myself in her situation. This allowed
her the chance to validate my understanding if I had misinterpreted
what was being conveyed which was not the case in this
scenario(Griffith, 2015). Thomlison (1990) explains that empathic
reflection is effective because the listener engages in a conversation
where they attempt to understand and acknowledge the current
feelings being experienced by the speaker. It involves not only the
ability to hear what is said but understand meaning and recall facts,

but also includes listening beyond words to the emotional or feeling

component of the given message to gain an empathic
understanding of our communication partner. It involves both
cognitive and emotional abilities of the listener.
2. Ineffective communication
EYE CONTACT INEFFECTIVE

My lack of eye contact displayed in the interaction (M2) also demonstrated a

disruption in the interaction, which was the cause of ineffectiveness of the
communication between the two of us. The absence of eye contact alongside with
having my attention on my phone symbolised my lack of interest in the topic. It
conveyed the meaning to my cousin that I wasnt interested in what she had to say.
This made my cousin feel insecure and uncomfortable with what she was going to say
and no longer wanted to disclose any information with me. DeVito (2003) states
that research on messages communicated by the eyes nonverbally
can give various meaning judging on direction, duration and quality
of the eyes behaviour. When there is lack of eye contact it can
convey the meaning that youre not interested shy or preoccupied.
This consequently is a sign of ineffective communication. This was
evident when my cousin replied by saying Doesnt matter because
she no longer thought that I was interested and was discouraged by
my lack of eye contact.
Research conducted by Nussbaum (1992) shows that
teachers that maintain eye contact with students are better and
more effective outcomes of communicating learning and education
whereas the teachers that did not maintain eye contact were less
effective communicators.
1. Listening barriers- Derailing

At M5 the use of the listening barrier known as derailing lead to

ineffective communication. This was ineffective because it abruptly
intervened in the communication process. By changing the subject
from the main focus where my cousin was disclosing her feelings
and thoughts to me to suddenly getting off track and changing the
subject completely it made my cousin not want to speak further. It
was ineffective because by derailing the conversation combined
with non verbal behaviour of leaning back it gave my cousin the
impression that I was bored and no longer had an interest to listen
to what she was talking about. (O'Toole, 2012) explains that
awareness of barriers to effective listening will help to avoid
disruption of the communication process. (Griffith, 2015) states that
listening blocks prevent effective listening. Derailing is one of twelve
listening blocks where an individual suddenly changes the subject or

derails the train of conversation when you get bored or

uncomfortable.
Observation of feedback from other person (4 Marks)
After I made an open question at M1 my cousin made eye
contact with me and leant in toward me (D2). When my cousin
maintained eye contact and leant forward toward me whilst
simultaneously expressing her feelings and thoughts about her day
at work, it indicated to me that I had communicated this open
question at M1effectively. Her non-verbal and verbal communication
both indicated that I had communicated effectively to receive an
appropriate response that indicated successful transaction of the
communication process.
At M2 I demonstrated ineffective nonverbal skills by the lack
of eye contact and distractions caused by my phone. I noticed that
when I did this my cousin didnt want to respond to my question and
replied with doesnt matter. This was followed by her non-verbal
behaviour, which included sighing, folding her arms and lowering
her voice tone. At M2 I identified that I had ineffectively
communicated because it discouraged my cousin to speak further.
Suggested Improvements (6 Marks)
At p4 I could have used an open question, asking an open
question would have been more effective because I would
have learnt more about how the person felt. Alternative
skill.. Bieb recommend the use of open question for
emotions.
At M2 I could have been maintaining eye contact to let my cousin
know that I was listening. Also I could have used an open question
instead of a closed question for example (M2) saying, What did she
want to talk about? Would have been a more effective way of
communicating with her. Effective nonverbal communication
(maintained eye contact) combined with an open question would
have let my cousin know that I was attentive, and interested. This
would have let her explain her thoughts and feelings in depth
without suspecting that I am not interested. Eye contact as a non-verbal
cue has the power to direct the standpoint of a relationship in regards to being positive
or negative. The observation of the situation will also be made clear if eye contact is
maintained throughout the interaction, which will lead to an effective interaction
(Senju, 2009).
I could have also improved the interaction with the use of tactile communication
(M5). By placing my hand on her shoulder this would have communicated warmth

and understanding. Combined with this I could have changed the way I responded by
staying on topic and being assertive to express my opinion on the situation for
example I could have said; I believe the best way to go about this is to speak to your
manager and make it clear to her that you are not available on weekends in order for
her to stop asking you to work then. Assertiveness will improve the interaction by
Pearson (2013) acknowledges that by taking an assertive approach leads to a
successful outcome of communication to maintain balance of my needs and the needs
of others, in this case my needs are maintaining my close relationship that I have with
my cousin.
Contextual factors (5 Marks)
Did historical context make it easier for me to use effective.
My previous interaction with this person.
One of the contextual factors that impacted negatively on the
interaction process was external noise. External noise includes
sights or sounds that distract from the communication channel and
interfere with the listeners clear reception of the message (Person,
2015). The constraint was that we were in a public place at the gym
with people walking in and out, which subsequently distracted my
attention from the message during the interaction (M5).
The social context is the type of relationship that already exists between individuals
(Person, 2015). This provided an opportunity to improve the interaction because my
cousin and I have an already established close relationship where we can disclose
personal information with each other.
APA QUALITY OF WRITING (2 Marks)