Life's Regrets

We all do things in life that we regret. We also do things in life that make us proud of the
people that we are. Still, there are things in life that we hope to someday be able to do.
All of these things make up who we are and how we've come to be ourselves.
Occasionally we'd like to change the past because of regrets, though this would
completely change who we are.
The past few years have been very trying for me. A lot of events had taken place, and
sent me down a road I should never have gone down. The events themselves need not
be spoken of; the affects that occurred due to them are the focal point. I had become
severely depressed. I could have cared less about what anyone thought of me or what
would happen to me. I became careless in my everyday decisions that should have
come easy to me. My friendships suffered, my relationships suffered, as well as my
career as a student. Because of these things, my parents became more and more
persistent with me, which only led me to run away from home. Shortly after, I was found
and forced to return home, regardless of my reasons for doing so.
Now, I can say that I have turned my life around. Some things from the past few years
still haunt me to this day, but I'm able to cope with them thanks to the help I received
from people who do care about me. I have been going to school on as much of a
regular basis as possible considering my low immune system, I'm doing my school
work, I've become social again, and rekindled the bonds between my friends and
myself.
Someone hearing this story could consider me a bad person for doing what I had done,
which I have no disagreement with, but they must also see that those events have
made me who I am today. Granted, I could have become who I am through other

means, but I don't believe that they could have made me as wise as I am. My reputation
was scarred severely by my actions, and many people hate me, but regardless of all of
that, I'm glad I came...

Reflective Essay: Life's Regrets

We all do things in life that we regret. We also do things in life that make us
proud of the people that we are. Still, there are things in life that we hope to
someday be able to do. All of these things make up who we are and how
weve come to be ourselves. Occasionally wed like to change the past
because of regrets, though this would completely change who we are. The past
few years have been very trying for me. A lot of events had taken place, and sent
me down a road I should never have gone down. The events themselves need
not be spoken of; the affects that occurred due to them are the focal point. I had
become severely depressed. I could have cared less about what anyone thought
of me or what would happen to me. I became careless in my everyday decisions
that should have come easy to me. My friendships suffered, my relationships
suffered, as well as my career as a student. Because of these things, my parents
became more and more persistent with me, which only led me to run away from
home. Shortly after, I was found and forced to return home, regardless of my
reasons for doing so. Now, I can say that I have turned my life around. Some
things from the past few years still haunt me to this day, but Im able to cope
with them thanks to the help I received from people who do care about me. I
have been going to school on as much of a regular basis as possible considering
my low immune system, Im doing my school work, Ive become social
again, and rekindled the bonds between my friends and myself. Someone
hearing this story could consider me a bad person for doing what I had done,
which I have no disagreement with, but they must also see that those events

have made me who I am today. Granted, I could have become who I am through
other means, but I dont believe that they could have made me as wise as I
am. My reputation was scarred severely by my actions, and many people hate
me, but regardless of all of that, Im glad...
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1.

I wanted to bring other people down

When I was 10, I used to bully other people in my school because of their appearances or academic
abilities. I used to be part of a group and everyday, we would purposefully whisper behind their
backs and sarcastically ask them simple questions to make them feel stupid. The reason I did this,
although it still isnt right, was because I was being I was being bullied because of my ethnical
background and religion. I felt less about myself and wanted to bring other people down just so that I
could have some self-respect. I am now 15 Years old and looking back at these memories, I start to
lose a lot of self-respect and do not feel so big like I intended to.If I ever attempt to bring anyone
down again, I will never forgive myself

2.

29 Dec

I was a victim and a perpetrator. Its a vicious cycle.

Note: I posted this on We Were Bullied too because my contains both sides.
When I was young I used to be bullied. I was always called ugly because I had eczema that spread
pretty much everywhere. Kids used to not hug me or shake my hand because they were afraid theyd
catch it, even though you cant. I used to be called stupid, even by my own teachers, because I didnt
learn how to read until fourth grade and my teacher used to hit me with a ruler on the wrist for every
math problem I got incorrectly. The kids followed that example and theyd used to call me stupid and
things like that. I was always pushed around by both kids and adults because my mom was a single
mother and we were poor, homeless for a short period of time. It seemed like the adults were just
looking for ways to go after my mom. Theyd pull me out of the class when they saw the skin on my
hand cracking and bleeding from eczema. Theyd ask me if my mom was abusing me, theyd try to get
me to accuse her of something she didnt do.
My mom, as much as she loved me, made me feel ashamed of my self. She always try to get me to
heal my eczema, not because it hurt, but because it wasnt pretty. Shed shame her own body, making
me doubt my own body. The other kids in class used to bully me because I was and early bloomer,
they made me ashamed of my self for being a little different. Even now I think shes beautiful but she
wont believe me. I can tell she was bullied, she has pain, for reason that I dont fully know.
My dad was abusive, he was a bully. He mental, emotionally, and physically abused my mom. Me and
my brother watched as hed hit her. We lived in terror, praying wed wake up tomorrow. He hate him

(even thought I dont want to). My mom tells me that Im like my dad in a negative way, I didnt want
to be him but I became like him.
But Im just as guilty as I am a victim, especially towards my brother. I used to push him around. I
called him stupid and fat. I used to hit him. I admit I was an abusive bitch. But now that Ive grown
and look back on it, Im ashamed (I think Ive used that word at least 20 times now). Its bad enough
that he was (and still is) bullied in school. They push him around and call him stupid just because he
has high functioning autism. They make fun of his weight to the point hell suffer 100+ degree
temperatures in dark pants and long sleeve shirts, like I did because of my eczema. I try every day to
get better, I try to control my anger, but sometime it gets to be too much and I lash out. i say things
and do things that hurt others and I feel like no matter how much I apologize it will never be good
enough. I know my brother still fears me even though hes bigger than me now. He flinches whenever
I get closer. I did that because I was a bully. I took my pent up frustrations out on him.
And now hes repeating my same actions on our younger siblings. He has so much pent up anger
because of me and his bullies at school. He threatens our little sister like I threatened him. He hits
her like I hit him. I try to warn him but hes to sad and angry to listen. Now my little sister is doing
the same thing to our youngest brother, that I did to my little brother and like what he did to her.
Bullying is a tragic cycle. People usually bully because theyre hurt and the person they bully, if they
dont shrink back they become a bully. It just keeps on going, when will it end. Every day I fear for
my younger siblings and that theyll experience all the shit I did. I dont want that for them I want
them to be bully free.
People are always surprised that I was bullied and that I was a bully. They think just because I dress
well and continue to strive that I had a perfect life. They think that because Im nice that Ive never
been a bully but I was one and I have to continue to fight my anger issues. No one is perfect, Im not
perfect. Im still hurt, I cry sometimes because of my past. I will continue to strive to be better and to
let go of my past, not only me but everyone around me.
The first step to stop being a bully is to recognize how you hurt others. For some it never happens
and for some it does. After that all you can do is acknowledge your actions and try to repeat them.

3.

29 Dec

The guilt just drowns me

I made a friend who used to put me down in very subtle ways that nobody else would notice. This
made me very insecure about myself. This friend also used to laugh and make jokes about a few
people in our grade so I joined in, in an attempt to make myself feel better. We would wind this boy
up until his face went red and he raged then we would laugh so much.I had never been like this
before and I didnt even realise what I was doing, it was the worst time of my life. I can never forgive
myself for what I have done and I live in a different country so I will never see them again. I want to
apologise to everyone but I just cant bring myself to it because the guilt just drowns me. I just cant
believe I did this and I deserve bad things and karma will get me. :(

4.

15 Oct

I was a bully.
I remember bullying other kids, mainly in elementary school, and even now in my last year of middle
school I still do. I think I slowly started to change when I realized what I was doing wasnt funny and
it was inexcusable. I only realized this when I got in trouble and I then remained in a state of shock.
Everything I will post will be excuses because I dont know what to say. I have apologized to some of
the people I bullied. I thought at the time they were my friends but all I did was scare them and
threaten them and abuse them. I have no way to make up for anything I did, no amount of apologizes
can undo what trauma I inflicted on them. I verbally and physically hurt them. I thought it was
normal but like I said before, I can only make excuses for my actions.
I have or I like to think I have chaged, but its hard to change. I still make threats and I still hit people
but these are still only to my friends who can handle my actions and realize Im not trying to actually
hurt them. It took me forever to realize people arent robots, they have feelings and they feel the
same things I do. I have been bullied before but I didnt seem to know what I was doing was worse
that the teasing I had.
I wish I could apologize to my victims or anyone I have made feel less than what they actually are.
Ive seen them a couple times and I know they know me and recognize me and I am happy they glare
at me and sneer at me because they have that right. They have the right to do everything I did to
them and throw it back at me. I want them to stand up for themselves and I want them to be strong. I
hope that maybe I can gather enough courage to go up to all of them and apologize for everything I
did.

5.

15 Oct

Bullied Many Great People

When I was in high school I was a bully to some young people that I genuinely wish I would have got
to know instead of push away. Bullying was rampant in my suburban high school. I guess you could
say there seemed to be a food-chain type structure to the bullying there. There were a select few at
the top who bullied everybody, then it trickled down from there. I wasnt at the very top, because
there were a few individuals who bullied me, but I wasnt far behind them. To the best of my
estimation I was worse than them because I knew better. I could very easily name ten individuals
that I bullied at some point in high school, but I couldnt possibly name ten people that bullied me.
I can not justify what I did, nor would I attempt to try. However, I can tell you that at the time I
bullied people to feel better about myself, which is the most ironic element of all. How could any
self-conscious individual feel better about themselves by putting others down? It will always catch
up to you in the end Say, about ten to fifteen years after graduation when you are talking to your
boss about where you went to high school. Perhaps they mention that they are very close friends
with somebody you graduated with. Imagine the conversation your boss might have with that person
(about you) what would you want them to say?
I have been able to apologize to very few of the individuals who deserve it. In fact, I often imagine
that they deserve to never even hear from me again, quite possibly thereby preventing them from reliving painful high school memories. In truth, that is just me being selfish avoiding confrontation.
They do deserve apologies. They deserve much more than an apology

6.

15 Oct

Im 15 and repulsed by what I did

In grade six I was a greasy pimply disaster. I had entered a new school and was a greasy little dork.
Thats when I met him. He was a tall pudgy boy with dark brown curls. He was bigger than the rest of
us in height and size. Same as me, we were going through that awkward phase. But what I did was
still cruel. Because I was nice to him, he eventually gave me a note that said he liked me. I laughed
and told everyone.

I was pathetic and insecure. Everyone mocked you. After all that I ignored you, attempting in vain to
become popular or beautiful. So here I am, 15, and have just started high school. I am repulsed about
what I did. I hurt you and humiliated you. Im now sitting here hoping for forgiveness. If I ever meet
you again Im sorry.

7.

2 Sep

I was a bully.
I was a bully. When I think back to the acidic words that have come spewing from my mouth I feel an
immeasurable amount of guilt. Two people in particular were targets of my anger, a girl in my class
and a boy with some sort of developmental disability. The girls crime was nothing. Nothing at all.
There were rumours she was poor, but other than that, nothing. What drew such anger towards her
from me and my fellow classmates? I remember her wearing a large hair clip in her hair one day, and
when the teacher left the room another student mocked her openly, we all laughed. The image of
silent tears rolling down her face is stuck in my mind and typing this is painful. In grade nine I sent
her home crying from the Halloween dance, berating her for what she was wearing. In that moment I
am a monster. The boogeyman doesnt exist, but bullies do.
As for the boy, he was a target for being different. Was there ever some sort of intervention for us
as kids to combat bullying? Never, and I never saw teachers go out of their way to help him. I made
fun of him for liking Noddy, because we were in grade seven and that was a babyshow. Now my
malicious behaviour hits me like a punch in the gut when I see any merchandise from the show. I
think of all the time I hurled insults and felt genuine anger, and I deserve that horrible sick feeling.
Because I had smartened up in high school, I apologized to the girl who I had bullied on the day of
our grade 12 graduation. Her eyes lit up and she smiled as I explained that the way I had treated her
was wrong, and that I was so sorry for ever hurting her feelings. That moment was filled with pride
for me, but I can never, ever take back the hurt I caused. An apology cant travel through time and
make someone feel less worthless. It cant dry tears that have dried long ago. If I could, I would
apologize to the boy too. I would talk to him. I wish I could. I hurt when I think that I was so ignorant
and hateful. Truthfully, my biological father died when I was nine, my parents often had loud and
frightening screaming matches, and I was bullied myself because I had hit puberty so early and was
given the gift of being chubby with acne. I took my hate out on the people I felt were easy targets
because I was weak, and because I think in a way I was projecting everything I hated about myself
onto someone else. I think of my nephews and how I might feel if they get bullied, and to have to see

their hurt. I talk to them often about the importance of treating everyone nicely. Now as an educator
I have an extreme zero-tolerance policy against bullying and when I work with youth I make sure to
talk about bullying; the effects of bullying, and how being a bully is something you can never take
back, and you will regret forever. If youve been bullied, Im sorry. Im sorry my apology will never
take away your hurt, but it will get better. You will be stronger. You are an individual worth loving
and caring for, and just because your bullies cant comprehend that, it doesnt mean you dont
deserve to be happy. Pity your bullies, and believe in yourself.

8.

2 Sep

I cant believe I took part

So the other day I made a comment about a girls bathing suit. My friend next to me laughed and
then said a comment related to her weight. I laughed, but then hushed my friend because the girl had
turned around. I feel awful about this. I shouldnt have said anything! Weight doesnt matter.
Everyone looks different and beauty is an internal thing. Im ashamed I said something and now I
dont know what to do.
I began liking her Facebook posts..
I cant believe I took part in an act of bullying..
Lets this be a day of change.

9.

2 Sep

i fucking hate myself.

I used to bully a girl all because I didnt like how loud she was in my art class. Now that i look back
on it, it feels so painful, and i wonder where she is now, how she is now, and if she would ever forgive
me, which I bet she wouldnt even anyway. I was so terrible to her, I teased her and said my fellow
classmates didnt like her. I feel like a spoiled, ignorant, arrogant, prat now, and i just want to jump
off a cliff, just to make that girl happy if I could meet her again. I think it was due to my brother
teasing me at home and making me feel bad, but thats no fucking excuse, I know. Now i just wish I
could throttle myself to death, because of what I was like when I was seven years old. And nobody
better give me the you were just a little girl, get over it card, because i knew what I was doing, and
despite not being mature, it makes me sick to the stomach of what impact ive had on this girl. i just

want to meet her, run up to her and hug her, allow her to yell at me and beat me up, just if she could
be happy. i want her to my happy and living the life i have now, because she deserves it more than
me.
In year six, I dont even remember, but I asked a girl without any harm about my she was fat. I was
just curious, and bam, I soon had her reveal one of my deepest secrets online in year 8. I feel like i
deserved it, and that it served me right for being a bully, and for being a bitch, without thinking
about others feelings.

10.

21 Feb

I was a Bully
When I was in first grade, I bullied a classmate. I was bullied all through preschool, and then later a
bit through elementary school. In kindergarten and first grade, I was bullied really badly by a boy I
will refer to as B. He was my best friend in preschool, and then he kind of turned on me and started
teasing me, hitting me, etc. Anyway, there was a boy on the swing sets and B asked him his name.
The boy replied, and his name was also another word for a kind of animal, which B found hilarious.
And he started making fun of him, telling him he didnt belong in school, that he should go to a zoo.
"Im going to take you to a zoo after school!" B said. And I joined in, thinking that maybe B would
like me again and leave me alone. Of course, that didnt work and so whenever I saw the boy Id taunt
him, because I thought maybe B would eventually stop antagonizing me and wed go back to being
friends. I dont know, I was confused. And this keeps me up at night and I hate myself because of it.
Im still hurt by things people said/did to me in school, and I just feel so bad; I think that if hes
depressed now, its all my fault. My friends and family (the ones Ive told this to, anyway; I dont like
to talk about it) say its not my fault, I was a victim, I was a kid, etc., etc., but it doesnt help. I regret
the things I said every day. Im so sorry.