Famous Quotates

Famous quotates
Memorable quotes for
Love and Death (1975) More at IMDbPro

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Boris: And so I walk through the valley of the shadow of death. Actually, make that "I run through the
valley of the shadow of death" - in order to get OUT of the valley of the shadow of death more quickly,
you see.
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Sonja: Judgment of any system, or a priori relationship or phenomenon exists in an irrational, or

metaphysical, or at least epistemological contradiction to an abstract empirical concept such as being,
or to be, or to occur in the thing itself, or of the thing itself.
Boris: Yes, I've said that many times.
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Countess Alexandrovna: My bedroom at midnight?

Boris: Perfect. Will you be there too?
Countess Alexandrovna: Naturally.
Boris: Until midnight then.
Countess Alexandrovna: [presses his hand to her bosom] Midnight.
Boris: Make it a quarter to twelve.
Countess Alexandrovna: Midnight.
Boris: But of course.
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Death: You're an interesting young man. We'll meet again.

Young Boris: Don't bother.
Death: It's no bother.
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Boris: Sonja, are you scared of dying?

Sonja: Scared is the wrong word. I'm frightened of it.
Boris: That's an interesting distinction.
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Mother: He'll go and he'll fight, and I hope they will put him in the front lines.
Boris: Thanks a lot, Mom. My mother, folks.
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Drill Sergeant: You want a dishonorable discharge?

Boris: Yes sir, either that or a furlough.
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Drill Sergeant: One, two. One, two. One, two.

Boris: Three is next, if you're having any trouble.
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Anton: Grushenko? Isn't he the young coward all St. Petersburg is talking about?
Boris: I'm not so young. I'm thirty-five.
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Anton: If you so much as come near the Countess, I'll see that you never see the light of day again.
Boris: If a man said that to me, I'd break his neck.
Anton: *I* am a man.
Boris: Well, I mean a much shorter man.
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Boris: I got a perfect build for clothes. I'm a twenty-eight dwarf.

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Boris: I have no fear of the gallows.

Father: No?
Boris: No. Why should I? They're going to shoot me.
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Countess Alexandrovna: You are the greatest lover I've ever had.
Boris: Well, I practice a lot when I'm alone.
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Soldier: He was from my village. He was the village idiot.

Boris: Yeah, what did you do, place?
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[Struck by lightning, Old Nehamkin is a pile of ashes]

Mother: What is it, Old Nehamkin? You are not looking well.
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Gen. Lecoq: Now men, because you are all getting a three-day furlough before going into battle, we
would like to show you this little hygiene play.
[the actors step forward and the play begins]

Woman hygiene class: Goodbye. I hope you had a good time.
Soldier: I did. I had a good time. Oh, what's this sore on my lip? I better see the doctor.
[He steps to his right and another actor stands up]
Soldier: Doc, I have this sore on my lip.
Doctor: You have a social disease my friend.
Soldier: Oh my God!
Doctor: If you do not treat it, you will go blind... Or insane!
[Applause]
Gen. Lecoq: Well men, that is the end of the play. Have a good time on your furlough and take care of
yourselves.
Soldier: Well, what did you think of the play?
Boris: Oh, it was weak. I was never interested. Although the part of the doctor was played with gusto
and verve and the girl had a delightful cameo role. A puckish satire of contemporary mores. A droll
spoof aimed more at the heart than the head.
Soldier: As for me I'm planning to spend the next three days in a brothel. Care to come with me?
Boris: No, I went to a brothel once in my life. I got hiccups you know, it was over like that.
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Drill Sergeant: From now on you'll clean the mess hall and the latrine!
Boris: Yes, sir! How will I tell the difference?
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Sonja: Boris, you're a coward!

Boris: Yes, but I'm a militant coward.
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[last lines]
Boris: The question is: have I learned anything about life? Only that... only that human beings are
divided into mind and body. The mind embraces all the nobler aspirations, like poetry and philosophy,
but the body has all the fun. The important thing, I think, is not to be bitter. You know, if it turns out that
there IS a God, I don't think that He's evil. I think that the worst you can say about Him is that,
basically, He's an underachiever. After all, you know, there are worse things in life than death. I mean,
if you've ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman, you know exactly what I mean. The key
here, I think, is to... to not think of death as an end, but think of it more as a very effective way of
cutting down on your expenses. Regarding love, heh, you know, what can you say? It's not the
quantity of your sexual relations that count. It's the quality. On the other hand, if the quantity drops
below once every eight months, I would definitely look into it. Well, that's about it for me folks.
Goodbye.
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Sonja: Don Francisco?

Don Francisco: Pardon me?
Sonja: I'm having trouble adjusting my belt. Do you think you could come over here and hold my
bosom for a while?
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Natasha: I never want to marry, I just want to get divorced.

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Napoleon: This is an honor for me.

Boris: No, it's a greater honor for me.
Napoleon: No, a greater honor for me.
Napoleon: No, a greater honor for ME.
Boris: Well, perhaps you're right. Perhaps it IS a greater honor for you.
Napoleon: And you must be Don Francisco's sister.
Sonja: No, you must be Don Francisco's sister.
Napoleon: No, you must be Don Francisco's sister.
Sonja: No, you must be Don Francisco's sister.
Napoleon: I see our Spanish guests have a sense of humor.
Boris: She's a great kidder.
Sonja: No, you're a great kidder.
Boris: No, you're Don Francisco's sister.
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Boris: I was walking through the woods, thinking about Christ. If He was a carpenter, I wondered what
He charged for bookshelves.
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Boris: In addition to our summer and winter estate, he owned a valuable piece of land. True, it was a
small piece, but he carried it with him wherever he went.
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Boris: Isn't all mankind ultimately executed for a crime it never committed? The difference is that all
men go eventually, but I go six o'clock tomorrow morning. I was supposed to go at five o'clock, but I
have a smart lawyer. Got leniency.
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Boris: If it turns out that there IS a God, I don't think that he's evil. I think that the worst you can say
about him is that basically he's an underachiever.
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Sonja: You were my one great love.

Boris: Oh, thank you very much. I appreciate that. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm dead.
Sonja: What's it like?
Boris: What's it like? You know the chicken at Tresky's Restaurant? It's worse.
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Napoleon: I heard you speaking to someone.

Sonja: Oh, I was praying.
Napoleon: But I heard TWO voices.
Sonja: Well, I do both parts.
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Sonja: There are many different kinds of love, Boris. There's love between a man and a woman;
between a mother and son...
Boris: Two women. Let's not forget my favorite.
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Sonja: And I want three children.

Boris: Yes. Yes. One of each.
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Anton Inbedkov: Shall we say pistols at dawn?

Boris Grushenko: Well, we can say it. I don't know what it means, but we can say it.
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Sonja: He kissed me.

Boris: Any place I should know about?
Sonja: He warmed the cockles of my heart.
Boris: That's just great. Nothing like hot cockles.
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Boris: I can't shower with other men.

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Sonja: To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving.
Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be
happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy, one must love or
love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down.
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Sonja: Boris, you can't be serious, you're talking about Mother Russia.
Boris: She's not my mother. My mother's standing right here, and she's not gonna let her youngest
baby get shrapnel in his gums.
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Mikhail: Our brother has a yellow streak down his back.

Boris: No, it's not down, it runs across.
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Soldier: The idea is not to panic and run... then they shoot you in the back.
Soldier: I don't want to be trampled by a horse. What about you, Boris?
Boris: [sarcastically] Yeah, I want to be trampled by a horse. I don't even want to fight.
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Soldier: Oh, God is testing us.

Boris: If He's gonna test us, why doesn't He give us a written?
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Countess Alexandrovna: Would you like some wine? Something to put you in the mood?
Boris: I've been in the mood since the late 1700's.
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Boris: Wheat... lots of wheat... fields of wheat... a tremendous amount of wheat...

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Boris: Hey, what is this, Slap Boris Day?

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Boris: Nothingness... non-existence... black emptiness...

Sonja: What did you say?
Boris: Oh, I was just planning my future.
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Inbedkov: [preparing for duel] We'll do it now... and to the death.

Boris: Oh no, I can't do anything to the death. Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
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Boris: [sleeve bloodied after being grazed by bullet] Does this come out, from dry cleaning, or is it like
gravy?
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Boris: Granted, I have a few eccentricities. I won't eat any food that begins with the letter F. Like
chicken, for instance.
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Sonja: Oh don't, Boris, please. Sex without love is an empty experience.

Boris: Yes, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.
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Boris: We have to take our possessions and flee. I'm very good at that. I was the men's freestyle
fleeing champion two years in a row.
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Sonja: Violence is justified in the service of mankind.

Boris: Who said that?
Sonja: Attila the Hun.
Boris: You're quoting a Hun to me?
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Sonja: What are you suggesting, passive resistance?

Boris: No, I'm suggesting active fleeing.
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Napoleon: If this pastry is to bear my name, it must be richer. More cream.

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Sonja: I truly think this is the best of all possible worlds.

Boris: It's certainly the most expensive.
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Sergeant: If they kill more Russians, they win. If we kill more Frenchmen, we win.
Boris Grushenko: What do we win?
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Sonja: Boris is trying to commit suicide - last week he contemplated inhaling next to an Armenian.
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Countess Alexandrovna: You're disgusting, but I love you.

Boris: Well, my disgustingness is my best feature.
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Russian gentleman: So who is to say what is moral?

Sonja: Morality is subjective.
Russian gentleman: Subjectivity is objective.

Sonja: Moral notions imply attributes to substances which exist only in relational duality.
Russian gentleman: Not as an essential extension of ontological existence.
Sonja: Can we not talk about sex so much?
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[Boris is standing, looking at Napoleon, who's lying unconcious on the floor]

Boris: If I don't kill him he'll make war all through Europe. But murder... the most foul of all crimes.
What would Socrates say? All those Greeks were homosexuals. Boy, they must have had some wild
parties. I bet they all took a house together in Crete for the summer. A: Socrates is a man. B: All men
are mortal. C: All men are Socrates. That means all men are homosexuals. Heh... I'm not a
homosexual. Once, some cossacks whistled at me. I happen to have the kind of body that excites both
persuasions. You know, some men are heterosexual and some men are bisexual and some men don't
think about sex at all, you know... they become lawyers.
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Boris: There's been a mistake! I know, I made it!

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Boris: And you, Sonja, you look more beautiful standing here than you do in person.
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Sonja: Oh, Boris, I'm so unhappy.

Boris: Ohh, I wish you weren't.
Sonja: Voskovec and I quarrel frequently. I've become a scandal.
Boris: Poor Sonja.
Sonja: For the past weeks, I've visited Seretski in his room
Boris: Why? What's in his room? Oh...
Sonja: And before Seretski, Aleksei, and before Aleksei, Alegorian, and before Alegorian, Asimov,
and...
Boris: Okay!
Sonja: Wait, I'm still on the A's.
Boris: How many lovers do you have?
Sonja: In the mid-town area?
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Sergeant: Imagine your loved ones conquered by Napoleon and forced to live under French rule. Do
you want them to eat that rich food and those heavy sauces?
Soldiers: No...!
Sergeant: Do you want them to have souffl every meal and croissant?
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[Boris must fight a duel in the morning]

Sonja: Uh... this Anton Inbedkov, he is a good shot isn't he?
Boris: I'm afraid so.

Sonja: Well, since this may be your last night on Earth, let's go back to my room and make love.
Boris: Oh... nice idea! I'll bring the soy sauce.
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Napoleon: I'll go to your room.

Sonja: Good, I'll go to yours.
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[Boris is bothered by thoughts of suicide]

Boris: Something's missing.
Doctor: What?
Boris: I don't know, I feel a void at the center of my being.
Doctor: What kind of void?
Boris: Well... an empty void.
Doctor: An empty void?
Boris: Yes. I felt a full void about a month ago but it was just something I ate.
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Second: [to both Boris and Count Inbedkov] Starting back to back, on my signal you will walk ten
paces, turn and fire. Is that clear?
Inbedkov: Of course.
Boris: Of course.
Second: Good luck. And God be with you both.
Boris: [to God] You listening?
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Boris: Oh, if only God would give me some sign. If He would just speak to me once. Anything. One
sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
Sonja: Of course there's a God! We're made in His image!
Boris: You think I was made in God's image? Take a look at me. You think He wears glasses?
Sonja: Not with those frames.
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Napoleon: Do you find me attractive as a man?

Sonja: Yes, I think that's your best bet.
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Napoleon: I wonder if you would be more difficult to conquer than Russia?

Sonja: Well, I weigh less.
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[comforting her husband on his deathbed]

Sonja: I know I could have been a better wife to you... kinder. I could have made love with you more
often... or once, even.
Leon Voskovec: Once would have been nice.
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Gen. Leveque: Then, I'll say to Austria, and form an alliance with the crown. Not the king, just the
crown.
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[Sonja meets Ivan's widow in church]

Anna: You're praying for Ivan?
Sonja: Yes. Your husband, I loved him, as you know.
Anna: I wanted you to have some of his possessions.
Sonja: How kind.
Anna: I kept his sword and gold watch... but here, I'm giving you his mustache.
Sonja: I'll cherish it.
Anna: Also some string. Ivan saved string.
Sonja: I know. It was one of the reasons why I loved him.
Anna: I understand that. I loved him for his string, too.
Sonja: Anything else for me?
Anna: I thought we should divide his letters. Do you want the vowels or the consonants?
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Boris: You're a tyrant, and a dictator, and you start wars!

Napoleon: Why is he reciting my credits?
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Boris: [composing poetry] "I should have been a pair of ragged claws, scuttling across the floors of
silent seas... " Too sentimental!
[crumples up paper and throws it in the fire]
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[Boris and his father speak in Dostoevsky references]

Father: Remember that nice boy next door, Raskolnikov?
Boris: Yeah.
Father: He killed two ladies.
Boris: What a nasty story.
Father: Bobak told it to me. He heard it from one of the Karamazov brothers.
Boris: He must have been possessed.
Father: Well, he was a raw youth.
Boris: Raw youth, he was an idiot!
Father: He acted assaulted and injured.
Boris: I heard he was a gambler.
Father: You know, he could be your double!
Boris: Really, how novel.

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Boris: Of course there was Old Greggor and his son Young Greggor. Oddly enough, Young Greggor's
son was older than Old Greggor. Nobody could figure out how that happened.
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Boris: [about their plan to murder Napoleon] ... I know, but murder, the most foul of all crimes. And not
just abstract murder like shooting an unknown enemy on the battlefield, but standing in a closed room
with a live human being and pulling the trigger, face to face. And a famous human being, a successful
one, one who earns more than I do... My God, you figure Napoleon has gotta be good for 10,000
francs a week... That's minimum. That's without tips or extras. Nothing like that. And me, what am I?
He's a great man. He thinks like the superman, and I'm just a worm, an insect... some kind of crawling,
disgusting, creeping little vermin! You know, you can stop me!
Sonja: I will when I disagree.
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Boris: If, by some mistake, I'm not killed tomorrow, would you marry me?
Sonja: What do you think the odds are?
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Russian gentleman: I must have you.

Sonja: No, no. Not here, not on the piano. It's a rented piano.
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Russian gentleman: What would you think if I told you you were one of the most beautiful women I
have ever seen?
Sonja: I'd think what a mad fool he is.
Russian gentleman: And what would you think if I suddenly put my arms around you?
Sonja: I'd think what a mad impetuous fool he is.
Russian gentleman: And what would you think if I kissed you?
Sonja: I'd think what a mad, impetuous, wonderful fool he is.
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Russian gentleman: Your skin, it is so beautiful!

Sonja: Yes, I know. It covers my whole body.
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[first lines]
Boris: How I got into this predicament I'll never know. Absolutely incredible. To be executed for a crime
I never committed. Of course, isn't all mankind in the same boat? Isn't all mankind ultimately executed
for a crime it never committed? The difference is that all men go eventually, but I go six o'clock
tomorrow morning. I was supposed to go at five o'clock but I have a smart lawyer. Got leniency.
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Nobody can give you freedom. Nobody can give you

equality or justice or anything. If you're a man, you take it.
Malcolm X
I believe in a religion that believes in freedom. Any time I

have to accept a religion that won't let me fight a battle for
my people, I say to hell with that religion.
Malcolm X
If you don't stand for something you will fall for anything.
Malcolm X
If you're not ready to die for it, put the word 'freedom' out
of your vocabulary.
Malcolm X
Stumbling is not falling.

Malcolm X
The Negro revolution is controlled by foxy white liberals, by

the Government itself. But the Black Revolution is
controlled only by God.
Malcolm X
Power never takes a back step only in the face of more

power.
Malcolm X
Nonviolence is fine as long as it works.

Malcolm X
You don't have to be a man to fight for freedom. All you

have to do is to be an intelligent human being.
Malcolm X
A man who stands for nothing will fall for anything.

Malcolm X
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Be peaceful, be courteous, obey the law, respect everyone;

but if someone puts his hand on you, send him to the
cemetery.
Malcolm X
Education is the passport to the future, for tomorrow

belongs to those who prepare for it today.
Malcolm X
I am for violence if non-violence means we continue

postponing a solution to the American black man's problem
just to avoid violence.
Malcolm X
You're not supposed to be so blind with patriotism that you

can't face reality. Wrong is wrong, no matter who says it.
Malcolm X
I don't even call it violence when it's in self defense; I call

it intelligence.
Malcolm X
I believe in human beings, and that all human beings

should be respected as such, regardless of their color.
Malcolm X
The future belongs to those who prepare for it today.

Malcolm X
My Alma mater was books, a good library... I could spend

the rest of my life reading, just satisfying my curiosity.
Malcolm X
In all our deeds, the proper value and respect for time
determines success or failure.
Malcolm X
You can't separate peace from freedom because no one can

be at peace unless he has his freedom.
Malcolm X
Read more
athttp://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/m/malcolm_x.html#DC8ZjoaBXHMzLOzJ.99
If you don't stand for something you will fall for anything.
Malcolm X
tags: belief, integrity
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You're not to be so blind with patriotism that you can't face reality. Wrong is wrong, no matter
who does it or says it.
Malcolm X, By Any Means Necessary
tags: philosophy, politics
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My alma mater was books, a good library.... I could spend the rest of my life reading, just
satisfying my curiosity.
Malcolm X
tags: books, reading
like
I'm for truth, no matter who tells it. I'm for justice, no matter who it is for or against. I'm a
human being, first and foremost, and as such I'm for whoever and whatever benefits humanity as
a whole.
Malcolm X
tags: activism, truth
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Education is our passport to the future, for tomorrow belongs to the people who prepare for it
today.
Malcolm X
tags: education, future
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If someone puts their hands on you make sure they never put their hands on anybody else
again.
Malcolm X
tags: force, police-brutality, power, resistance, solidarity, violence
423 people liked it
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Sometimes you have to pick the gun up to put the Gun down.
Malcolm X
tags: armed-struggle, arms, pacifism, peace, revolution, violence, war
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People don't realize how a man's whole life can be changed by one book.
Malcolm X, The Autobiography Of Malcolm X
tags: inspirational, religious
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Be peaceful, be courteous, obey the law, respect everyone; but if someone puts his hand on you,
send him to the cemetery.
Malcolm X
tags: islam, militancy
271 people liked it
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Truth is on the side of the oppressed.

Malcolm X
tags: truth
232 people liked it
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So early in my life, I had learned that if you want something, you had better make some noise.
tags: accomplishment, action, impetus, inspirational
230 people liked it
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If you have no critics you'll likely have no success.

Malcolm X
230 people liked it
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Usually when people are sad, they don't do anything. They just cry over their condition. But
when they get angry, they bring about a change.
Malcolm X
tags: 1965, anger
217 people liked it
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We cannot think of being acceptable to others until we have first proven acceptable to
ourselves.
Malcolm X
tags: freedom, self-worth
212 people liked it
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You show me a capitalist, and I'll show you a bloodsucker

Malcolm X
tags: communism, democracy, freedom, history, hope, individualism, philosophy, politics, revolution,socialism
205 people liked it
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To me, the thing that is worse than death is betrayal. You see, I could conceive death, but I could
not conceive betrayal.
Malcolm X
tags: betrayal
188 people liked it
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We need more light about each other. Light creates understanding, understanding creates love,
love creates patience, and patience creates unity.
Malcolm X
183 people liked it
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If you're not ready to die for it, take the word 'freedom' out of your vocabulary.
Malcolm X
176 people liked it
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The media's the most powerful entity on earth. They have the power to make the innocent guilty
and to make the guilty innocent, and that's power. Because they control the minds of the masses.
Malcolm X
169 people liked it
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How can you thank a man for giving you what's already yours? How then can you thank him for
giving you only part of what is yours?
Malcolm X
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A wise man can play the part of a clown, but a clown can't play the part of a wise man.
Malcolm X
120 people liked it
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Hence I have no mercy or compassion in me for a society that will crush people, and then
penalize them for not being able to stand up under the weight.
Malcolm X, The Autobiography of Malcolm X
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To have once been a criminal is no disgrace. To remain a criminal is the disgrace

Malcolm X
tags: crime
108 people liked it
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We declare our right on this earth...to be a human being, to be respected as a human being, to be
given the rights of a human being in this society, on this earth, in this day, which we intend to
bring into existence by any means necessary.
Malcolm X
tags: activism
100 people liked it
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The only way we'll get freedom for ourselves is to identify ourselves with every oppressed people
in the world. We are blood brothers to the people of Brazil, Venezuela, Haiti, Cuba -- yes Cuba
too.
Malcolm X
tags: communism, democracy, freedom, history, hope, individualism, philosophy, politics, revolution,socialism
92 people liked it
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If you're not careful, the newspapers will have you hating the people who are being oppressed,
and loving the people who are doing the oppressing.
Malcolm X
85 people liked it
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The ability to read awoke inside of me some long dormant craving to be mentally alive.
tags: reading
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I see America through the eyes of the victim. I don't see any American dream--I see an American
nightmare.
Malcolm X
84 people liked it
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I believe in the brotherhood of man, all men, but I don't believe in brotherhood with anybody
who doesn't want brotherhood with me. I believe in treating people right, but I'm not going to
waste my time trying to treat somebody right who doesn't know how to return the treatment
Malcolm X
78 people liked it
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And because I had been a hustler, I knew better than all whites knew, and better than nearly all
of the black 'leaders' knew, that actually the most dangerous black man in America was the ghetto
hustler. Why do I say this? The hustler, out there in the ghetto jungles, has less respect for the
white power structure than any other Negro in North America. The ghetto hustler is internally
restrained by nothing. He has no religion, no concept of morality, no civic responsibility, no fear-nothing. To survive, he is out there constantly preying upon others, probing for any human
weakness like a ferret. The ghetto hustler is forever frustrated, restless, and anxious for some
'action'. Whatever he undertakes, he commits himself to it fully, absolutely. What makes the
ghetto hustler yet more dangerous is his 'glamour' image to the school-dropout youth in the
ghetto.These ghetto teen-agers see the hell caught by their parents struggling to get somewhere,
or see that they have given up struggling in the prejudiced, intolerant white mans world. The
ghetto teen-agers make up their own minds they would rather be like the hustlers whom they see
dressed sharp and flashing money and displaying no respect for anybody or anything. So the
ghetto youth become attracted to the hustler worlds of dope, thievery, prostitution, and general
crime and immorality.
77 people liked it
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.
Malcolm X
tags: books, change, malcom-x, reading
66 people liked it
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Why am I as I am? To understand that of any person, his whole life, from
Birth must be reviewed. All of our experiences fuse into our personality. Everything that ever
happened to us is an ingredient.
tags: experience, personality
66 people liked it
like
You don't stick a knife in a man's back nine inches and then pull it out six inches and say you're
making progress ... No matter how much respect, no matter how much recognition, whites show
towards me, as far as I am concerned, as long as it is not shown to everyone of our people in this
country, it doesn't exist for me.
Malcolm X
66 people liked it
like
I don't even call it violence when it's in self defense; I call it intelligence.
Malcolm X
tags: militancy
66 people liked it
like
You don't have to be a man to fight for freedom. All you have to do is to be an intelligent human
being.
Malcolm X
64 people liked it
like
As long as you are convinced you have never done anything, you can never do anything.
Malcolm X
58 people liked it
like
The future belongs to those who prepare for it today.

Malcolm X, Malcolm X, Black Liberation, and the Road to Workers Power
57 people liked it
like
I for one believe that if you give people a thorough understanding of what confronts them and
the basic causes that produce it, they'll create their own program, and when the people create a
program, you get action.
Malcolm X
tags: activism
55 people liked it
like
You get your freedom by letting your enemy know that you'll do anything to get it. Then you'll get
it. It's the only way you'll get it.
Malcolm X
55 people liked it
like
It"s good to keep wide-open ears and listen to what everybody else has to say, but when you
come to make a decision, you have to weigh all of what you"ve heard on its own, and place it
where it belongs, and come to a decision for yourself; you"ll never regret it. But if you form the
habit of taking what someone else says about a thing without checking it out for yourself, you"ll
find that other people will have you hating your friends and loving your enemies.
Malcolm X
55 people liked it
like
In fact, once he is motivated no one can change more completely than the man who has been at
the bottom. I call myself the best example of that.
tags: reform
52 people liked it
like
It's just like when you've got some coffee that's too black, which means it's too strong. What do
you do? You integrate it with cream, you make it weak. But if you pour too much cream in it, you
won't even know you ever had coffee. It used to be hot, it becomes cool. It used to be strong, it
becomes weak. It used to wake you up, now it puts you to sleep.
Malcolm X
tags: coffee, integration, race-relations
50 people liked it
like
Don't condemn if you see a person has a dirty glass of water, just show them the clean glass of
water that you have. When they inspect it, you won't have to say that yours is better."
-said by Elijah Muhammad to Malcolm X
45 people liked it
like
I believe that there will be ultimately be a clash between the oppressed and those who do the
oppressing. I believe that there will be a clash between those who want freedom, justice and
equality for everyone and those who want to continue the system of exploitation. I believe that
there will be that kind of clash, but I don't think it will be based on the color of the skin...
Malcolm X
tags: equality, exploitation, freedom, justice, malcolm-x, oppression
42 people liked it
like
Times change so quickly that if you and I don't keep up with the times, we'll find ourselves with
an umbrella in our hand, over our head, when the sun is out. Or we'll find ourselves standing in
the rain, with the umbrella inside the door.
Malcolm X
42 people liked it
like
Children have a lesson adults should learn, to not be ashamed of failing, but to get up and try
again. Most of us adults are so afraid, so cautious, so 'safe,' and therefore so shrinking and rigid
and afraid that it is why so many humans fail. Most middle-aged adults have resigned themselves
to failure.
tags: failure, fear, middle-age, perseverance
41 people liked it
like
I have often reflected upon the new vistas that reading has opened to me. I knew right there in
prison that reading had changed forever the course of my life. As I see it today, the ability to read
awoke inside me some long dormant craving to be mentally alive.
Malcolm X
tags: awareness, reading
41 people liked it
like
The greatest mistake of the movement has been trying to organize a sleeping people around
specific goals. You have to wake the people up first, then you'll get action.
Malcolm X, Malcolm X Speaks: Selected Speeches and Statements
tags: activism, awareness, change, education, knowledge, revolution, truth

41 people liked it
like
By any means necessary.

Malcolm X
36 people liked it
like
I saw all races, all colors, blue eyed blonds to black skinned Africans in true brotherhood! In
unity! Living as one! Worshiping as one! No segregationists, no liberals; they would not have
known how to interpret the meaning of those words
It is only after slavery and prison that the sweetest appreciation of freedom can come.
30 people liked it
like
You can't hate the roots of a tree and not hate the tree.
Malcolm X
tags: hatred, origins, racism, roots
30 people liked it
like
Don't be in a hurry to condemn because he doesn't do what you do or think as you think or as
fast. There was a time when you didn't know what you know today.
Malcolm X
tags: condemnation, knowledge, tolerance, understanding
30 people liked it
like
I believe in recognizing every human being as a human being--neither white, black, brown, or
red; and when you are dealing with humanity as a family there's no question of integration or
intermarriage. It's just one human being marrying another human being or one human being
living around and with another human being.
tags: equality, humanity, integration, interfaith-marriage, intermarriage, interracial-marriage,marriage
29 people liked it
like
.
Malcolm X
tags: america, change, islam, malcom-x, racism
28 people liked it
like
There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own
seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance next time.
Malcolm X
26 people liked it
like
.
Malcolm X
tags: allah, god, islam, malcom-x, religion, signs
24 people liked it
like
,
tags: ,
24 people liked it
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Don't be bitter. Remember Lot's wife when they kill me, and they surely will. You have to use all
of your energy to do what it is you have to do. [To his wife Betty Shabazz]
Malcolm X
23 people liked it
like
We all like chicken

tags: chicken
23 people liked it
like
I don't advocate violence; but if a man steps on my toes, I'll step on his...
Malcolm X
21 people liked it
like
Only the mistakes were mine.

Malcolm X
21 people liked it
like
True Islam taught me that it takes all of the religious, political, economic, psychological, and
racial ingredients, or characteristics, to make the Human Family and the Human Society
complete.
Malcolm X
tags: islam, malcolm-x
21 people liked it
like
Nobody can give you freedom. Nobody can give you equality or justice or anything. If you're a
man, you take it.
tags: assertiveness, malcolm-x, willpower
20 people liked it
like
I tell sincere white people, 'Work in conjunction with us- each of us working among our own
kind.' Let sincere white individuals find all other white people they can who feel as they do- and
let them form their own all-white groups, to work trying to convert other white people who are
thinking and acting so racist. Let sincere whites go and teach non-violence to white people!
We will completely respect our white co-workers. They will deserve every credit. We will give
them every credit. We will meanwhile be working among our own kind, in our own black
communities- showing and teaching black men in ways that only other black men can- that the
black man has got to help himself. Working separately, the sincere white people and sincere black
people actually will be working together.
In our mutual sincerity we might be able to show a road to the salvation of America's very soul.
Malcolm X
20 people liked it
like
.
Malcolm X
tags: allah, god, human, islam, malcom-x, peace, religion
19 people liked it
like
And when I speak, I don't speak as a Democrat. Or a Republican. Nor an American. I speak as a
victim of America's so-called democracy. You and I have never seen democracy - all we've seen is
hypocrisy. When we open our eyes today and look around America, we see America not through
the eyes of someone who has enjoyed the fruits of Americanism. We see America through the eyes
of someone who has been the victim of Americanism. We don't see any American dream. We've
experienced only the American nightmare.
Malcolm X
tags: american-dream, deception, democracy, hypocrisy, liberty, oppression
19 people liked it
like
I'm sorry to say that the subject I most disliked was mathematics. I have thought about it. I think
the reason was that mathematics leaves no room for argument. If you made a mistake, that was all
there was to it.
tags: argument, mathematics, schooling
18 people liked it
like
I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead I lay awake amid sleeping
Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land--every color, and class, and rank;
high officials and the beggar alike--all snored in the same language.
tags: diversity, humanity, language, snoring, tolerance
17 people liked it
like
.
Malcolm X
tags: islam, makkah, malcom-x, pilgrim
16 people liked it
like
Sitting at the table doesn't make you a diner, unless you eat some of what's on that plate. Being
here in America doesn't make you an American. Being born here in America doesn't make you an
American.
Malcolm X
tags: political
15 people liked it
like
One day, may we all meet together in the light of understanding.

tags: understanding
15 people liked it
like
America needs to understand Islam, because this is the one religion that erases from its society
the race problem. Throughout my travels in the Muslim world, I have met, talked to, and even
eaten with people who in America would have been considered white, but the white attitude was
removed from their minds by the religion of Islam. I have never before seen sincere and true
brotherhood practiced by all together, irrespective of their color.
Malcolm X
tags: islam, malcolm-x
15 people liked it
like
.
Malcolm X
tags: human, malcom-x, rights, wisdom
14 people liked it
like
And just because you have colleges and universities doesn't mean you have education.
tags: education-system
14 people liked it
like
I Used the Word 'Negro' and I was Firmly Corrected

tags: also-my-dissertation-title
14 people liked it
like
I am a Muslim, because it's a religion that teaches you an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. It
teaches you to respect everybody, and treat everybody right. But it also teaches you if someone
steps on your toe, chop off their foot. And I carry my religious axe with me all the time.
Malcolm X
tags: islam, malcolm-x, malik-el-shabbaz
14 people liked it
like
Let's cool it, brothers.

Malcolm X
tags: dying-last-words
13 people liked it
like
We didn't land on plymouth rock, Plymouth rock landed on us".

Malcolm X
tags: anything-goes, cole-porter, paraphrased, song-lyrics
13 people liked it
like

Malcolm X,
13 people liked it
like

tags: ,
12 people liked it
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Western interests: imperialism, colonialism, exploitation, racism, and other negative -isms.
Malcolm X
11 people liked it
like
.. .

..
..

11 people liked it
like
Despite my firm convictions, I have been always a man who tries to face facts, and to accept the
reality of life as new experience and new knowledge unfolds it. I have always kept an open mind,
which is necessary to the flexibility that must go hand in hand with every form of intelligent
search for truth.
tags: convictions, intelligence, knowledge, open-mindedness, truth
10 people liked it
like

tags: books, inspirational, reading
10 people liked it
like
Anytime you find someone more successful than you are, especially when you're both engaged in
the same business - you know they're doing something that you aren't.
tags: competition, tactics
10 people liked it
like
.. , .. ..

Malcolm X
9 people liked it
like
There is nothing in our book, the Qur'an, that teaches us to suffer peacefully. Our religion
teaches us to be intelligent. Be peaceful, be courteous, obey the law, respect everyone; but if
someone lays a hand on you, send him to the cemetery.
Malcolm X
tags: islam, malcolm-x, malik-el-shabbaz
9 people liked it
like
I imagine that one of the biggest troubles with colleges is there are too many distractions, too
much panty-raiding, fraternities, and boola-boola and all of that.
tags: college, education, schooling, studying
9 people liked it
like
.
Malcolm X
tags: identity, malcom-x
8 people liked it
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To tell a woman not to talk too much was like telling Jesse James not to carry a gun, or a hen not
to cackle.
Malcolm X
8 people liked it
like
Concerning non-violence: it is criminal to teach a man not to defend himself when he is the
constant victim of brutal attacks.
tags: activism, non-violence, racism, revolution
8 people liked it
like
To the same degree that your understanding of and attitude towards Afrika becomes more
positive, your understanding of and attitude towards yourself will also becomes more positive...
Malcolm X
tags: africa, afrika, identity, malcolm
8 people liked it
like

tags: ,
7 people liked it
like

tags: ,
7 people liked it
like

Malcolm X
tags: malcolm-x, -
7 people liked it
like
America is subsidizing what is left of the prestige and strength of the once mighty Britain. The
sun has set forever on that monocled, pith-helmeted resident colonialist, sipping tea with his
delicate lady in the non-white colonies being systematically robbed of every valuable resource.
Britain's superfluous royalty and nobility now exist by charging tourists to inspect the once
baronial castles, and by selling memoirs, perfumes, autographs, titles, and even themselves.
tags: colonialism
7 people liked it
like

tags: ,
6 people liked it
like
,
tags: ,
6 people liked it
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. , .

tags: ,
6 people liked it
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.
tags: ,
6 people liked it
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tags: ,
6 people liked it
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This was my first lesson about gambling: if you see somebody winning all the time, he isn't
gambling, he's cheating. Later on in life, if I were continuously losing in any gambling situation, I
would watch very closely.
tags: gambing, life, life-lessons
6 people liked it
like
Read absolutely everything you get your hands on because you'll never know where you'll get an
idea from...
6 people liked it
like

Malcolm X
tags: malcom-x
6 people liked it
like
.
Malcolm X
tags: books, change, malcolm-x, reading, wisdom
5 people liked it
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tags: ,
5 people liked it
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History is a people's memory, and without a memory, a man is demoted to the lower animals.
Malcolm X
tags: history
5 people liked it
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tags: ,
5 people liked it
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Betty's a good Muslim woman and wife. I don't imagine many other women might put up with
the way I am. Awakening this brainwashed black man and telling this arrogant, devilish white
man the truth about himself, Betty understands, is a full-time job
Malcolm X
tags: betty, betty-shabazz, malcolm-x, wife
5 people liked it
like
... the young people are the ones who most quickly identify with the struggle and the necessity to
eliminate the evil conditions that exist.
tags: freedom, uprising, young-people
5 people liked it
like
You are either free or not free

tags: freedom
5 people liked it
like
They cripple the bird's wing, and then condemn it for not flying as fast as they.
Malcolm X
5 people liked it
like
Right now, in every big city ghetto, tens of thousands of yesterday's and today's school dropouts
are keeping body and soul together by some form of hustling in the same way I did.
tags: culture, history, society
5 people liked it
like
I don't see any American dream; I see an American nightmare.

tags: a-dream-deferred
4 people liked it
like
... ,

tags: ,
4 people liked it
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, . ,

tags: ,
4 people liked it
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tags: ,
4 people liked it
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tags: ,
4 people liked it
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tags: ,
4 people liked it
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tags: ,
4 people liked it
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We're not Americans, we're Africans who happen to be in America. We were kidnapped and
brought here against our will from Africa. We didn't land on Plymouth Rock - that rock landed on
us.
Malcolm X
4 people liked it
like
You can cuss out colonialism, imperialism, and all other kinds of ism, but it's hard for you to cuss
that dollarism. When they drop those dollars on you, your soul goes.
4 people liked it
like
Not long ago, an English writer telephoned me from London, asking questions. One was "What's
your alma mater?" I told him, "Books." You will never catch me with a free fifteen minutes in
which I'm not studying something I feel might be able to help the black man.
Malcolm X
tags: autodidactism
3 people liked it
like
Do Your Best Work

Malcolm X
tags: malcolm-x, to-dr-john-henrik-clarke
3 people liked it
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tags: ,
3 people liked it
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!

tags: ,
3 people liked it
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tags: ,
3 people liked it
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Time is on the side of the oppressed today, it's against the oppressor. Truth is on the side of the
oppressed today, it's against the oppressor. You don't need anything else.
Malcolm X
3 people liked it
like
.. .. ..
Malcolm X
3 people liked it
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When I am dead--I say it that way because from the things I know, I do not expect to live long
enough to read this book in its finished form--I want you to just watch and see if I'm not right in
what I say: that the white man, in his press, is going to identify me with "hate". He will make use
of me dead, as he has made use of me alive, as a convenient symbol, of "hatred"--and that will
help him escape facing the truth that all I have been doing is holding up a mirror to reflect, to
show, the history of unspeakable crimes that his race has committed against my race.
3 people liked it
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Its the hinge that squeaks that gets the grease

Malcolm X
3 people liked it
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The greatest miracle Christianity has achieved in America is that the black man in white
Christian hands has not grown violent. It is a miracle that 22 million black people have not risen
up against their oppressors in which they would have been justified by all moral criteria, and
even by the democratic tradition! It is a miracle that a nation of black people has so fervently
continued to believe in a turn-the-other-cheek and heaven-for-you-after-you-die philosophy! It is
a miracle that the American black people have remained a peaceful people, while catching all the
centuries of hell that they have caught, here in white mans heaven! The miracle is that the white
mans puppet Negro leaders, his preachers and the educated Negroes laden with degrees, and
others who have been allowed to wax fat off their black poor brothers, have been able to hold the
black masses quiet until now.
tags: america, christianity, race
2 people liked it
like

tags: ,
2 people liked it
like
.
, ,
tags: ,
2 people liked it
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,
tags: ,
2 people liked it
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2 people liked it
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.
tags: ,
2 people liked it
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I learned early that crying out in protest could accomplish things. My older brothers and sister
had started to school when, sometimes, they would come in and ask for a buttered biscuit or
something and my mother, impatiently, would tell them no. But I would cry out and make a fuss
until I got what I wanted. I remember well how my mother asked me why I couldn't be a nice boy
like Wilfred; but I would think to myself that Wilfred, for being so nice and quiet, often stayed
hungry. So early in life, I had learned that if you want something, you had better make some
noise.
tags: activism, dissent, inspirational, protest
2 people liked it
like
Ignorance of each other is what has made unity impossible in the past. Therefore we need
enlightenment. We need more light about each other. Light creates understanding, understanding
creates love, love creates patience, and patience creates unity. Once we have more knowledge
(light) about each other, we will stop condemning each other and a United front will be brought
about.
Malcolm X
2 people liked it
like
America's greatest crime against the black man was not slavery or lynching, but that he was
taught to wear a mask of self-hate and self-doubt.
Malcolm X
2 people liked it
like
All I had done was to improve on their strategy, and it was the beginning of a very important
lesson in life - that anytime you find someone more successful than you are, especially when
you're both engaged in the same business - you know they're doing something that you aren't.
tags: business, business-advice, strategy
2 people liked it
like
.
Malcolm X
2 people liked it
like
.
Malcolm X
2 people liked it
like
An English writer telephoned me from London, asking questions. One was, Whats your alma
mater? I told him, Books.
Malcolm X
tags: book, books, education
2 people liked it
like
If you are in a country that is progressive, the woman is progressive. If you're in a country that
reflects the consciousness toward the importance of education, it's because the woman is aware of
the importance of education. But in every backward country you'll find the women are backward,
and in every country where education is not stressed its because the women don't have
education.
Malcolm X
1 person liked it
like
BOOKS "The Loom of Language

Malcolm X
1 person liked it
like
Segregation is that which is forced upon inferiors by superiors. But separation is that which is
done voluntarily, by two equals- for the good of both.
Malcolm X
1 person liked it
like

Alvy Singer: Don't you see the rest of the country looks upon New York like we're left-wing,
communist, Jewish, homosexual pornographers? I think of us that way sometimes and I live here.
Share this quote
Alvy Singer: My grammy never gave gifts. She was too busy getting raped by Cossacks.
Share this quote
Annie Hall: La-di-da, la-di-da, la la.

Share this quote
[after sex with Annie]

Alvy Singer: That sex was the most fun I've ever had without laughing.
Share this quote
[In California]
Annie Hall: It's so clean out here.
Alvy Singer: That's because they don't throw their garbage away, they turn it into television shows.
Share this quote
Annie Hall: So you wanna go into the movie or what?

Alvy Singer: No, I can't go into a movie that's already started, because I'm anal.
Annie Hall: That's a polite word for what you are.

Share this quote
Duane: Can I confess something? I tell you this as an artist, I think you'll understand. Sometimes
when I'm driving... on the road at night... I see two headlights coming toward me. Fast. I have this
sudden impulse to turn the wheel quickly, head-on into the oncoming car. I can anticipate the
explosion. The sound of shattering glass. The... flames rising out of the flowing gasoline.
Alvy Singer: Right. Well, I have to - I have to go now, Duane, because I, I'm due back on the planet
Earth.
Share this quote
[a guest is calling his meditation guru]

Party guest: Hello? I forgot my mantra.
Share this quote
Alvy Singer: What's with all these awards? They're always giving out awards. Best Fascist Dictator:
Adolf Hitler.
Share this quote
[Alvy addresses a pair of strangers on the street]

Alvy Singer: Here, you look like a very happy couple, um, are you?
Female street stranger: Yeah.
Alvy Singer: Yeah? So, so, how do you account for it?
Female street stranger: Uh, I'm very shallow and empty and I have no ideas and nothing interesting
to say.
Male street stranger: And I'm exactly the same way.
Alvy Singer: I see. Wow. That's very interesting. So you've managed to work out something?
Share this quote
[first lines]
Alvy Singer: [addressing the camera] There's an old joke - um... two elderly women are at a Catskill
mountain resort, and one of 'em says, "Boy, the food at this place is really terrible." The other one
says, "Yeah, I know; and such small portions." Well, that's essentially how I feel about life - full of
loneliness, and misery, and suffering, and unhappiness, and it's all over much too quickly. The... the
other important joke, for me, is one that's usually attributed to Groucho Marx; but, I think it appears
originally in Freud's "Wit and Its Relation to the Unconscious," and it goes like this - I'm paraphrasing um, "I would never want to belong to any club that would have someone like me for a member." That's
the key joke of my adult life, in terms of my relationships with women.
Share this quote
Alvy Singer: I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage is being able to make a
right turn on a red light.
Share this quote
[after Annie parks the car]

Alvy Singer: Don't worry. We can walk to the curb from here.
Share this quote
Annie Hall: Sometimes I ask myself how I'd stand up under torture.
Alvy Singer: You? You kiddin'? If the Gestapo would take away your Bloomingdale's charge card,
you'd tell 'em everything.
Share this quote
Alvy Singer: Annie, there's a big lobster behind the refrigerator. I can't get it out. This thing's heavy.
Maybe if I put a little dish of butter sauce here with a nutcracker, it will run out the other side.
Share this quote
Annie Hall: Oh, you see an analyst?

Alvy Singer: Yeah, just for fifteen years.
Annie Hall: Fifteen years?
Alvy Singer: Yeah, I'm gonna give him one more year, and then I'm goin' to Lourdes.
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Alvy Singer: A relationship, I think, is like a shark. You know? It has to constantly move forward or it
dies. And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
Share this quote
Alvy Singer: Love is too weak a word for what I feel - I luuurve you, you know, I loave you, I luff you,
two F's, yes I have to invent, of course I - I do, don't you think I do?
Share this quote
[Annie wants to smoke marijuana before sex]

Alvy Singer: Yeah, grass, right? The illusion that it will make a white woman more like Billie Holiday.
Annie Hall: Well, have you ever made love high?
Alvy Singer: Me? No. I - I, you know, If I have grass or alcohol or anything, I get unbearably
wonderful. I get too, too wonderful for words. I don't know why you have to get high every time we
make love.
Annie Hall: It relaxes me.
Alvy Singer: You have to be artificially relaxed before we can go to bed?
Annie Hall: Well, what's the difference anyway?
Alvy Singer: Well, I'll give you a shot of sodium pentathol. You can sleep through it.
Annie Hall: Oh come on. Look who's talking. You've been seeing a psychiatrist for 15 years. You
should smoke some of this. You'd be off the couch in no time.
Share this quote
[Alvy is having sex with Annie]

Alvy Singer: Hey, is something wrong?
Annie Hall: No, why?
Alvy Singer: I don't know. It's like you're removed.
[a ghost of Annie rises from herself, and sits in a chair to watch]
Annie Hall: No, I'm fine.
Alvy Singer: Are you with me?
Annie Hall: Uh, huh.
Alvy Singer: I don't know. You seem sort of distant.
Annie Hall: Let's just do it, all right?
Alvy Singer: Is it my imagination, or are you just going through the motions?
Ghost of Annie Hall: Alvy, do you remember where I put my drawing pad? Because while you two are
doing that, I think I'm going to do some drawing.
Alvy Singer: [gesturing to the ghost] You see, that's what I call removed.
Share this quote
[Alvy Singer does a stand-up comic act for a college audience]

Alvy Singer: I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year for cheating on my metaphysics final, you
know. I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. When I was thrown out, my mother, who
was an emotionally high-strung woman, locked herself in the bathroom and took an overdose of MahJongg tiles. I was depressed at that time. I was in analysis. I was suicidal as a matter of fact and would
have killed myself, but I was in analysis with a strict Freudian, and, if you kill yourself, they make you
pay for the sessions you miss.
Share this quote
[Alvy confronts Annie about having an affair]

Alvy Singer: Well, I didn't start out spying. I thought I'd surprise you. Pick you up after school.
Annie Hall: Yeah, but you wanted to keep the relationship flexible. Remember, it's your phrase.
Alvy Singer: Oh stop it, you're having an affair with your college professor, that jerk that teaches that
incredible crap course, Contemporary Crisis in Western Man...
Annie Hall: Existential Motifs in Russian Literature. You're really close.
Alvy Singer: What's the difference? It's all mental masturbation.
Annie Hall: Oh, well, now we're finally getting to a subject you know something about.
Alvy Singer: Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.
Annie Hall: We're not having an affair. He's married. He just happens to think I'm neat.
Alvy Singer: "Neat." What are you, 12 years old? That's one of your Chippewa Falls expressions.
Annie Hall: Who cares? Who cares?
Alvy Singer: Next thing you know, he'll find you keen and peachy, you know. Next thing you know,
he's got his hand on your ass.
Annie Hall: You've always had hostility towards David, ever since I mentioned him.
Alvy Singer: Dav - you call your teacher David?
Annie Hall: It's his name.
Alvy Singer: It's a Biblical name, right? What does he call you, Bathsheba?
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Alvy Singer: It's mental masturbation!

Annie Hall: And you would know all about THAT, wouldn't you?
Alvy Singer: Hey, don't knock masturbation! It's sex with someone I love.
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Annie Hall: So I told her about, about the family and about my feelings towards men and about my
relationship with my brother. And then she mentioned penis envy. Do you know about that?
Alvy Singer: Me? I'm, I'm one of the few males who suffers from that.
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[Alvy questions an old man on the street about his sex life]
Alvy Singer: With your wife in bed, does she need some kind of artificial stimulation, like, like
marijuana?
Old man on street: We use a large vibrating egg.
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Pam: Sex with you is really a Kafka-esque experience.

Alvy Singer: Oh. Thank you.
Pam: I mean that as a compliment.
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Alvy Singer: I think, I think there's too much burden placed on the orgasm, you know, to make up for
empty areas in life.
Pam: Who said that?
Alvy Singer: It may have been Leopold and Loeb.
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[Alvy sees a program from the Fillmore East and The National Review in Annie's apartment]
Alvy Singer: Are you going with a right-wing rock 'n roll star?
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Alvy Singer: Honey, there's a spider in your bathroom the size of a Buick.
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[Alvy has killed two spiders]

Alvy Singer: I did it. I killed 'em both.
[Annie starts crying]
Alvy Singer: What's the matter? What are you sad about? What did you want me to do? Capture 'em
and rehabilitate 'em?
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Alvy Singer: You know, I don't think I could take a mellow evening because I - I don't respond well to
mellow. You know what I mean? I have a tendency to - if I get too mellow, I - I ripen and then rot, you
know.
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[Alvy is asked to try cocaine]

Alvy Singer: I don't want to put a wad of white powder in my nose. There's the nasal membrane...
Annie Hall: You never want to try anything new, Alvy.
Alvy Singer: How can you say that? Whose idea was it? I said that you, I and that girl from your
acting class should sleep together in a threesome.
Annie Hall: Well, that's sick.
Alvy Singer: Yeah, I know it's sick, but it's new. You didn't say it couldn't be sick.
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Annie Hall: Alvy, you're incapable of enjoying life, you know that? I mean you're like New York City.
You're just this person. You're like this island unto yourself.
Alvy Singer: I can't enjoy anything unless everybody is. If one guy is starving someplace, that puts a
crimp in my evening.
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Alvy Singer: I remember the staff at our public school. You know, we had a saying, uh, that those who
can't do teach, and those who can't teach, teach gym. And, uh, those who couldn't do anything, I think,
were assigned to our school.
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Alvy Singer: They did not take me in the Army. I was, um, interestingly enough, I was, I was 4-P. Yes.
In the, in the event of war, I'm a hostage.
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Annie Hall: You're what Grammy Hall would call a real Jew.
Alvy Singer: Oh. Thank you.
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Alvy Singer: In 1942 I had already discovered women.

[Young Alvy kisses girl in school]
Alvy's Classmate: Yecch. He kissed me, he kissed me. Yecch.
Miss Reed: That's the second time this month. Step up here.
Alvy at 9: What'd I do?
Miss Reed: Step up here.
Alvy at 9: What did I do?
Miss Reed: You should be ashamed of yourself.
Alvy Singer: Why? I was just expressing a healthy sexual curiosity.
Miss Reed: Six year old boys don't have girls on their minds.
Alvy Singer: I did.
Alvy's Classmate: For God's sake, Alvy, even Freud speaks of a latency period.
Alvy Singer: Well, I never had a latency period. I can't help it.
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Alvy Singer: I'm so tired of spending evenings making fake insights with people who work for
"Dysentery."
Robin: "Commentary."
Alvy Singer: Oh really? I had heard that "Commentary" and "Dissent" had merged and formed
"Dysentery."
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Allison: I'm in the midst of doing my thesis.

Alvy Singer: On what?
Allison: Political commitment in twentieth century literature.
Alvy Singer: You, you, you're like New York, Jewish, left-wing, liberal, intellectual, Central Park West,
Brandeis University, the socialist summer camps and the, the father with the Ben Shahn drawings,
right, and the really, y'know, strike-oriented kind of, red diaper, stop me before I make a complete
imbecile of myself.
Allison: No, that was wonderful. I love being reduced to a cultural stereotype.
Alvy Singer: Right, I'm a bigot, I know, but for the left.
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Robin: There's Henry Drucker. He has a chair in history at Princeton. Oh, and the short man is
Hershel Kaminsky. He has a chair in philosophy at Cornell.
Alvy Singer: Yeah? Two more chairs they got a dining room set.
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[last lines]
Alvy Singer: [narrating] After that it got pretty late, and we both had to go, but it was great seeing
Annie again. I... I realized what a terrific person she was, and... and how much fun it was just knowing
her; and I... I, I thought of that old joke, y'know, the, this... this guy goes to a psychiatrist and says,
"Doc, uh, my brother's crazy; he thinks he's a chicken." And, uh, the doctor says, "Well, why don't you
turn him in?" The guy says, "I would, but I need the eggs." Well, I guess that's pretty much now how I
feel about relationships; y'know, they're totally irrational, and crazy, and absurd, and... but, uh, I guess
we keep goin' through it because, uh, most of us... need the eggs.
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Alvy Singer: Sun is bad for you. Everything our parents said was good is bad. Sun, milk, red meat...
college.
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[Annie's family and Alvy's family converse through a split screen]

Mom Hall: How do you plan to spend the holidays, Mrs. Singer?
Alvy's Mom: We fast.
Dad Hall: Fast?
Alvy's Dad: No food. You know, to atone for our sins.

Mom Hall: What sins? I don't understand.
Alvy's Dad: To tell you the truth, neither do we.
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[Alvy fantasizes being in love with the Wicked Queen from Snow White]
Wicked Queen: We never have any fun any more.
Alvy Singer: How can you say that?
Wicked Queen: Why not? You're always leaning on me to improve myself.
Alvy Singer: You're just upset. You must be getting your period.
Wicked Queen: I don't get a period. I'm a cartoon character.
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Alvy Singer: Lyndon Johnson is a politician, you know the ethics those guys have. It's like a notch
underneath child molester.
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[Rob has bailed Alvy out of jail]

Rob: Imagine my surprise when I got your call, Max.
Alvy Singer: Yeah. I had the feeling that I got you at a bad moment. You know, I heard high-pitched
squealing.
Rob: Twins, Max! 16 years-old. Can you imagine the mathematical possibilities?
Alvy Singer: [glum] You're an actor, Max. You should be doing Shakespeare in the Park.
Rob: Oh, I did Shakespeare in the Park, Max. I got mugged. I was playing Richard the Second and
two guys with leather jackets stole my leotard.
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[Alvy and Annie are seeing their therapists at the same time on a split screen]
Alvy Singer's Therapist: How often do you sleep together?
Annie Hall's Therapist: Do you have sex often?
Alvy Singer: [lamenting] Hardly ever. Maybe three times a week.
Annie Hall: [annoyed] Constantly. I'd say three times a week.
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[On Pam being a Rosicrucian]

Alvy Singer: I can't get with any religion that advertises in Popular Mechanics.
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Alvy Singer: Oh my God, she's right. Why did I turn off Allison Portchnik? She was beautiful, she was
willing. She was real intelligent. Is it the old Groucho Marx joke that I'm - I just don't want to belong to
any club that would have someone like me for a member?
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Alvy Singer: Hey, Harvard makes mistakes too! Kissinger taught there!
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Alvy Singer: I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories.
The horrible are like, I don't know, terminal cases, you know, and blind people, crippled. I don't know
how they get through life. It's amazing to me. And the miserable is everyone else. So you should be
thankful that you're miserable, because that's very lucky, to be miserable.
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Doctor in Brooklyn: Why are you depressed, Alvy?

Alvy's Mom: Tell Dr. Flicker.
[Young Alvy sits, his head down - his mother answers for him]
Alvy's Mom: It's something he read.
Doctor in Brooklyn: Something he read, huh?
Alvy at 9: [his head still down] The universe is expanding.
Doctor in Brooklyn: The universe is expanding?
Alvy at 9: Well, the universe is everything, and if it's expanding, someday it will break apart and that
would be the end of everything!
Alvy's Mom: What is that your business?
[she turns back to the doctor]
Alvy's Mom: He stopped doing his homework!
Alvy at 9: What's the point?
Alvy's Mom: What has the universe got to do with it? You're here in Brooklyn! Brooklyn is not
expanding!
Doctor in Brooklyn: It won't be expanding for billions of years yet, Alvy. And we've gotta try to enjoy
ourselves while we're here!
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Pam: The only word for this is transplendent... it's transplendent!

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Alvy Singer: [the man behind him in line is talking loudly] What I wouldn't give for a large sock with
horse manure in it!
Alvy Singer: [to audience] Whaddya do when you get stuck in a movie line with a guy like this behind
you?
Man in Theatre Line: Wait a minute, why can't I give my opinion? It's a free country!
Alvy Singer: He can give it... do you have to give it so loud? I mean, aren't you ashamed to pontificate
like that? And the funny part of it is, Marshall McLuhan, you don't know anything about Marshall
McLuhan!
Man in Theatre Line: Oh, really? Well, it just so happens I teach a class at Columbia called "TV,
Media and Culture." So I think my insights into Mr. McLuhan, well, have a great deal of validity!
Alvy Singer: Oh, do ya? Well, that's funny, because I happen to have Mr. McLuhan right here, so, so,
yeah, just let me...
[pulls McLuhan out from behind a nearby poster]
Alvy Singer: come over here for a second... tell him!
Marshall McLuhan: I heard what you were saying! You know nothing of my work! You mean my whole
fallacy is wrong. How you got to teach a course in anything is totally amazing!
Alvy Singer: Boy, if life were only like this!
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Alvy Singer: Sylvia Plath - interesting poetess whose tragic suicide was misinterpreted as romantic by
the college girl mentality.
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Alvy Singer: Hey listen, gimme a kiss.

Annie Hall: Really?
Alvy Singer: Yeah, why not, because we're just gonna go home later, right, and then there's gonna be
all that tension, we've never kissed before and I'll never know when to make the right move or
anything. So we'll kiss now and get it over with, and then we'll go eat. We'll digest our food better.
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Alvy Singer: What are you depressed about?

Annie Hall: I missed my therapy, I overslept.
Alvy Singer: How can you possibly oversleep?
Annie Hall: The alarm clock.
Alvy Singer: You know what a hostile gesture that is to me?
Mr Tolson: "Who is the judge?"

Debaters: "The judge is God!"
Mr Tolson:"Why is God the judge?"
Debaters: "Because it is him who decides who wins or looses, not my opponent!"
Mr Tolson: "Who is your opponent?"
Debaters: "He doesn't exist!"
Mr Tolson: "Why does he not exist?"
Debaters: "Because he is merely a voice dissenting from the truth I speak!"

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Drill Sergeant: One, two. One, two. One, two.

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Sonja: What are you suggesting, passive resistance?

Napoleon: If this pastry is to bear my name, it must be richer. More cream.

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