Experience: I was blinded by a school science experiment | Li...

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Experience: I was blinded by a school

science experiment
The doctors didnt know what to do with me. They hadnt seen burns like mine since
the war
Meredith Plumb
Friday 19 June 2015 14.00BST

hroughout my childhood, I had 20:20 vision. But two weeks before my 12th
birthday, in my rst year of secondary school in Cheshire, my teacher asked
me to conduct a science experiment, and gave me a pestle and mortar. Iwas
told to measure three kinds of powder: black, orange and white. Idid as I was
told, but when I mixed them together, they exploded. I saw the ash, and then, what
seemed like ages later, I heard the supersonic bang. Molten lava hit me in the face, but
I felt no pain.
I vividly remember standing there in a state of utter calm. I thought Iwas in a dream,
that Id wake up in a minute, but no matter how hard Istruggled to swim to the
surface of consciousness, I couldnt wake up. I didnt understand how terrifying it all
was until the teacher carried me down the corridor and I heard people saying, Who is
that? Thats when I knew I was unrecognisable.
I was taken to hospital, but the doctors didnt know what to do with me. They hadnt
seen burns like that since the war, and never on achild. Iwas later own to Barcelona
and then Houston for surgery; between the ages of 13 and 16, Ihad 40 operations. As
each operation came and went,my vision would come back, then fade again.
Eventually, it faded completely and I had what was leftof my eyes removed for
cosmetic reasons.
I never went back to school again. The school admitted negligence from the start, but
there was a long battle over how much it should pay out. Eventually it was decreed in
the high court that it should pay 88,284 at that time, the highest amount of
personal injury damages ever given by the high court to a woman. I dont know what
happened to the teacher.
Since then, I have lived in total darkness. Most blind people, even if they dont have
any sight theyre aware of, are still able to perceive light. That gives them a circadian
rhythm, a sense of day and night, of when to go to sleep and when to wake up. But
not me. I can absolutely lose that sense of time passing. Ihave no external sense of
time, no body clock. Light-detecting cells in your eyes inhibit the production of
melatonin, the sleep hormone, during daylight hours. I dont have those cells, so my

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Experience: I was blinded by a school science experiment | Li...

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melatonin comes in a steady stream and my body is constantly primed for sleep.
I usually sleep in 90-minute or three-hour increments I no longer know what its like
to have a good nights sleep. If Im by myself, I could fall asleep on the sofa listening
to a talking book, wake up, check my braille watch and know it says four oclock but
have no idea if thats am or pm, the same day, or the following day.
I still remember, as a little girl, being woken by the sunshine seeping through the
curtains, but Ino longer have that connection with nature. The only way for me to
work out how long Ive slept is to turn on the radio.
My lack of continuous sleep gives me an altered state of consciousness. Its much like
the feeling I had just after the accident Im always on the edge of waking from a
nightmare, but I never make it to the surface. I have found blindness to be extremely
isolating, even more so because my body clock is dierent from everyone elses.
Throughout my life Ive suered from depression and ashbacks. For many years,
Ifelt my sight loss darkening my life like a bereavement from which I would never
recover. But when Iwas in my early 40s, I realised that my blindness was not going to
go away and Ihad to nd a way to live. Itrained to become a counsellor, and that has
helped me perceive my experiences in a dierent way. Icant x peoples broken lives
just like I cant x my sight but I can help them nd a way to manage.
Of course I still miss things such as exchanging a knowing look with a friend. It would
be so wonderful to know what my daughter, now 28, looks like. But on a good day it
feels as if all the struggles and negative experiences Ive lived through were in fact a
kindof preparation for helping others to make their own way towards the light.

As told to Moya Sarner.

Do you have an experience to share? Email experience@theguardian.com

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Topics
Blindness and visual impairment
Disability
Health

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