N

A
R
C
I
S
S
E
VOLUME 4
ISSUE
JUNE/JULY/AUG
2009
C The Team
C
R����A�S
2 Contents
4 Attention

O
8 I Think, Therefore I Blog Mandy

O
189 Lynns Lookout (Beach Do’s & Dont’s)
220 Birthday Pages Taylor
Editor - in - chief
230 Hororscope (Whatever THAT
243 As Voted - Victorian means??!!)
254 Helplines email -

N N
mandytaylor6662000@yahoo.co.uk

261 Conversion Tables

263 Adverts
274 And Now .... Lynn Westlake
UK Author and
Right-hand Girl,

T
without whom Narcisse
would be nowhere near
�IF�S� �LE as good, full of ideas,
enthusiasm and the
7 Play Safe cheek of the devil xxx
48 NEW Through The Lens
53 Fashion 1 - Swimwear

E
82 Personal profile - Tanning
90 Fashion 2 - Flip-Flops SPECIAL Kaz
140 Top 10 Cocktails
- Bestest mate a girl
164 Personal Profile - Epilators could have - UK
173 Fashion 3 - Sunglasses Based GG - Author

N N
212 Fashion 4 - Hats of “ Personal Profile”

Joanne

- Long-suffering wife

T
F�A�UR�S of Mandy, roving
11 Something Completely Different reporter and general
snoop, the source of
96 Bathing Through The Ages
“ In the paper’s”.
105 4 Things You Probably Never Knew...
106 Transgender History - Part III
160 Happy 4th July

2
C
T�UE �IFE Janet Smith
5 Letters To Editor - our newest intern, and
producer of our front
37 One Girls Story - Alice Heathers
covers
78 In The Papers

O
Studio “A” Photography
145 Centrefold - Alexandra Young janetcd1@yahoo.com
184 Ask The Girls

www.studioaphotography.biz
www.myspace.com/studioaphotography2006

N ��ST �OR ��N Nicola James

- UK based writer,
42 Sunny Funny one of the ‘girls’ in
52 Cartoon “Ask The Girls”, and

T
a VERY good friend
104 Cartoon ( even though she is
134 Congratulations! Scottish hehe )
171 Questions That Haunt Some People

E
Centrefold
C��PE�I����S -Alexandra Young
66 Jean Jeanie Competition Entrants

N
102 Sports Competition Winner
116 Bridal Competition - Bridesmaids
119 Bridal Competition - Brides
129 Bridal Competition - Mother OT Bride
154 Style Council One Girls

T
194 Rock Chick Competition Winner Story
196 PRIZE Competition - Pin-up Girls
210 Tammi’s Torments - Alice Heathers
260 Quiz Answers

3
Well then. some of the more ob-
servant of you ‘may’ have noticed
a slight difference in the set-up
where Competitions are concerned,
not much, but let me explain. The
pictures of competitors will still ap-
pear here, in the magazine, and
also on my Yahoo group ( http://
groups.yahoo.com/group/lilbou-
tique/ ). The only real difference is
that now you vote HERE! You will
find the voting section on this site
, so no more need to troupe off to
lilboutique to vote - easy huh?!
All pictures for the subsequent com-
petitions can still be sent to me at
mandytaylor6662000@yahoo.co.uk
as well as any enquiries, so get
entering/voting/etc etc hehe

ATTENTION!!!
4
to
the
Editor
First off, a long-overdue compliment for the wonderful work you do in providing
both _Narcisse_ and a forum for us all. It is a truly professional work, and one that
obviously comes from heart; thank you!

That said, I do miss the old, downloadable PDF format. The new version is just not
as convenient, and cannot be read without an active Internet connection. I always
enjoyed downloading the old version, then logging-off and reading it in airport
lounges, on the road when parked in my car awaiting the next appointment with
clients, etc. Also, I archived all the old issues to review again and again, regardless
of my location or circumstances.

Back to the compliments -- I think you have a winning format now, with the
basic mix of fashion, profiles, interviews, and reader participation. And, of course
photographs. Being a T-girl is a visual pursuit, and it is always nice to pick up
tips and encouragement from seeing how well some of our sisters “do it”. I know I
always finish an issue both inspired and hopeful, and I can’t think of another T-
publication that does this in quite the same way or has an editor/creator who is so
responsive to the community’s needs.

Best,

Bree.
Oregon, USA

Bless you hon, such lovely words, the PDF download problem is in hand, so please bear with me , you
can print 2 pages at a time, time consuming i know, but something while the programmers weave their
magic (Ed)

5
The sites really fab. So glad you finally got it all sorted hun you de-
serve this. xxx
Kaz

Mandy, The new format of the magazine looks amazing!

I love how much more fun it is to navigate through. Con-
gratulations! xoxo, Ale-

I think the mag is great. Thanks for all your

work.
Hugs
Abby

6
 PO IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTAN

P
TANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IM

T IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPOR

ROTECT YOUR IDENTITY Do not reveal information which could expose
your identity until you are confident that it is safe. Be cautious revealing your name, address, phone
number, email address, place of work, website address, etc. Do not allow anyone to pressure you into
revealing details before you are ready. If they are overly aggressive in asking for identifying information,
cut off communication. Do not feel obligated to be more open than you are comfortable being. Contact the
administrator of the website if you have concerns.

L
ET SOMEONE KNOW WHERE YOU ARE GOING
Be sure that someone knows where you’re going and when to expect you back.

A
LWAYS TAKE A PHONE AND YOUR FARE HOME If you have
a cellular phone, take it along, and have a friend call periodically. You may wish to take along some form of
personal protection just in case. If someone tries to get you into a situation you are not comfortable with,
don’t hesitate refuse, leave, or do whatever is necessary to protect yourself. Nothing that anyone else does
can obligate you to compromise your own safety.

YOUR SAFER IN A CROWD

member, there is safety in numbers!
intimate one on one meetings put you at a huge risk, re-

S
TAY IN PUBLIC PLACES erm...................DUH!!!!

A
VOID TOO MUCH ALCOHOL All drinks can be spiked, but it only takes a few too many
drinks for you to lose your inhibitions and agree to things you will later regret, a clear head nearly always lead
to a clear conscience.

F
EELINGS MAY SAVE YOUR LIFE, TRUST INTUITION If you feel
uneasy about someone you’ve met online, err on the side of caution. It’s probably better to miss a few good
experiences than to have one bad one.

E
NJOY!!! 99% of the time you will be safe and have a great time, but for the sake of that 1% always err
on the side of caution, remember, if they are serious they will arrange to meet again, if they dont , it wasnt
worth the risk! xxxx7

TANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPOR 7

I T���� , ����ef��� I
BLOG

8
 My Life

G
It’s always difficult to think of what to write in a
blog, I try and make it amusing, sometimes
thought provoking, and sometimes just plain silly,
but then a conversation at work got me thinking
and so I came up with this.
I class myself as a TG, why? many reasons. I do not
dress for any sexual reasons, I dont dress to attract a
member of the opposite sex, I dress because its me, plain and
simple, or is it?
If that was the case, then why cant i talk about it
without crying? Why when I come home from 3 days as
Mandy do I sob my heart out as I’m unpacking? Why,
in the early days before i was outed, did I feel suicidal if i
couldnt dress for a few days? I cant be alone, but what does
it make me?
My TS friend calls me a TG with TS leanings ,
or in her more subtle moments “ you know what you are, I
know what you are, so stop being so bloody silly and face
it”, but that is where the problem lies....
like many of you I am happily married and with a
child, like many of you , I would lose my life for them with-
out a moments hesitation, and, like many of you, if I took
that next step it would be a step to far and they would leave.
Can I be that selfish?

9
 The answer, plain and simple , is no.
Just because I have a ‘condition’ namely Gender Dys-
phoria - that doesnt give me the right to ruin the lives of two
innocent people, and ruin their lives it would, it wouldnt mat-
ter how brave a face they put on it, it would be a stigma they
would live with for the rest of their lives. I have no right
......... so I dont.
The term ‘ rock and a hard place’ springs to
mind, but I have it far easier than a lot of girls. I get to dress
very regularly, I have the support of friends and family, I
have a lovely wife and son, I am very lucky.
But it doesnt stop me feeling sad, it doesnt stop
me crying while I write this and it probably never will.
Thats why I always stress that you are NOT
alone, I know many of you like , respect and in some cases ,
envy me, but trust me..... I’m just the same as you.

Mandy xxx

10
 Something
yletelpmoC
Different
I wrote this months blog from the heart, and got such a huge response that i have asked
the girls if they would mind if I included their replies in this issue. It may seem self-in-
dulgent but I got such an over-whelming sense of support that i felt that , being able to
read that there are far more of us out there in the same position than we truly realise, it
would be beneficial, even to those who are still unknown to the vast majority. I thankyou
all for your support and hope you feel the same emotions that these letters gave me
Mandy

11
Very well written Mandy! I like the TG term more then cross dresser aka cd as I dress up
now and then for the love of it and not for a sexual turn on. When I dress up I feel so relaxed
and in touch with my fem side.

Alice Heathers

awwww hunni...... i won’t pretend to know

how you and many many others are feeling
and going through! But just know my heart
goes out to you and there are people in the
world that care xxxxx

Anne-Marie Campbell

“Just because I have a `condition’ namely Gender Dysphoria - that doesnt give me the
right to ruin the lives of two innocent people, and ruin their lives it would, it wouldnt
matter how brave a face they put on it, it would be a stigma they would live with for the
rest of their lives. I have no right
......... so I dont.”

You realize your statement above is a bit odd.

you imply that there is a stigma attached to a married transsexual, but not a married
transgendered crossdresser?

and thus your family, wife’s and child’s life will be ‘ruined’ by finally admitting
you are TS, and not ruined by admitting already being a TG-CD’er???

If your wife understood your tears, your heart... your female gendered mind (brain), girl,
then she will realize what you are.

So as long as being a TS is ‘taboo’ and TG-CD is ‘ok’ (where such differences today
especially, although still very much misunderstood, should not be the case)

You are a very much respected girl amongst our TS/TG/CD community, and your visibility is
what helps many more non-TG/TS/CD better understand the complexity of ours and your situa-
tion.
I too, am married (25+yrs), have 2 kids (18+22 this year), and found out last year i was
HBS (m2f “TS”). i’ve never had the privilege to CD most of my life, but my wife/kids
are at the moment at a crossroads with me... i can only hope to ‘manage’ their under-
standing of my ‘transition’ (however it might be called or viewed)... so that i hope to
maintain my marriage ‘intact’... but if not... at least my love for my wife, and her
love for me (i know she does) will remain even if the ‘marriage’ itself dissolves. it
is definitely a hard thing to go through, and a hard thing to give up oneself to being
‘yourself’.

12
The lives of your loved ones can only be ‘ruined’ insofar as conceding what you are
(vs the ‘world’) as being ‘wrong’. when in fact it is NOT ‘wrong’, it is about
you being who you are. you have not been ‘deceptive’ about it (your past), you are
simply coming to terms about yourself NOW. no deception applies if you didn’t know
fully the ‘meaning’ of why you are the way you are until now. your TS friend is
correct, that you are more TS than you are willing to admit.

because of how the ‘western/modern’ world (not necessarily others) view TS as being
‘bad’, many TG/CD unbeknownst, or unwittingly cave into such pressure and not ‘ad-
mit’ their TS-ness.

If you ‘didn’t know’ about yourself, your wife can never be faulted (no GG could
ever be) for not ‘seeing it’ or ‘choosing a husband’ poorly. no woman should feel
‘stupid’ for having fallen in love with you as their ‘loving husband’. this is
how many wives see themselves, as ‘failures’ as both women or wives.

The situation you are in, what you are, is extremely complex, poorly understood even
by the one having it, such that it is deep in one’s own heart/mind never to be re-
vealed or admitted, even to ONESELF. so such hidden thing cannot be viewed as being
‘deceitful on purpose to harm others’, and being hidden, no one outside, especially
wives (nevermind YOURSELVES!) should have had ‘caught on’ to it. no one looked for
it, not even yourself.

The world now, is only beginning to understand this so called ‘gender dysphoria’...
and it is inappropriately labelled, because it was attributed to a strictly ‘mental’
pathology, which it is NOT.

It is now more recently understood as simply as a mind-body incongruity that some

people have, and how diverse people deal with it. everyone deals with it differently.
some others who don’t have this mind-body incongruity on purpose explore it. thus we
have a mix of both types.

The incongruity is simply a ‘brain-gender’ that is incongruous with their ‘anatomi-

cal body’.

If you are crying... i tell you Mandy, girl,... you’ve always been a girl... at
least, i suspect, from infancy, if not birth. i’ll admit, i don’t know your person-
al history that much, but for you to suffer anguish when returning to a ‘drab’ mode,
it is only your clothing matching your ‘anatomical body’ but you deny your female
gendered brain for who you can be.

yes, you certainly love your wife/kid, will they ever allow their love for you to go
farther, for your sake, and allow you to be ‘fully’ you? even i can see what you
are... and many others as well (even if they don’t admit it).

regards,

SaintSuelle

13
Dear Mandy,

Like you, I don’t dress for sexual arousal or to a�ract

anyone. I do it because it feels right. Like you I am mar-
ried with (now grown) children and could not contemplate
disclosing my cross dressing. I don’t know how the kids
would react but I know it would end my marriage to my
best friend in life. I know she would be devastated by the
revela�on. Can I be so selfish ? - No.
Unlike you, I wouldn’t say that it feels right because it’s
“me”. In my case it’s “the other me”. For most of the �me
I am comfortable with my male self, but I must say I o�en
ask myself whether or not I’m TS and always answer “No”.
(but it’s perhaps significant that I will never stop asking the
ques�on) Also unlike you I am not able to dress regularly. I
can occassionally visit a CD friend’s house to dress but only
very rarely can go out and about dressed. Nevertheles s I
try (largely successfully) to take a view the view that my
cup is half full. What do you think ? You are able to dress
more o�en than I am, but is your cup s�ll half empty ?
I have never been reduced to tears when the �me comes
to revert to male mode.
Why am I responding to you ? I don’t know. It’s certainly
not to encourgae you to do anything that would break up
your family. I’d be the last to do that. I’d like to think that
it’s because we Angels are sca�ered over a wide TG spec-
trum and the more of us who try to explain whereabouts
we are, and what it’s like where we are, the be�er we can
each have a li�le more understanding of ourselves.

Best wishes,

Pam

Mandy
Thanks for that post from the heart. It re-
ally touched home with me, as I feal totally
described by it as well. Sometimes its just
good to see it put down in words. Thanks

hugs
Lish

14
Mandy-

I share your dilemma. You, as I, have many questions to answer. The first one is to know what is in
your heart. In your heart of hearts, who are you? Are you your boyself or are you Mandy? Is there
a way for them to be whole in an otherwise unchanged body? Do you have a need to be recog-
nized as Mandy every day of your life? Was being Mandy for several days such a ‘rush’ that you
sob when you are putting her away? Or, is it that you have had the chance to be ‘yourself?’ Which
self are you putting away? What decision would you make if you had nothing to lose, or better yet,
if you would lose nothing with that decision?

Of course you cannot make a decision in a vacuum. Yet so some degree, you must make the de-
cision in a vacuum, as to better know yourself. Self-actualization (I hate that term, but it does apply
well), is the key to being both a better parent and a better person. If you can find who you are at
the core and accept yourself, perhaps you can deal with those demons that torment you.

I am going through many of the same machinations every day now. I know who I am. I know (at
least 96% know *sigh*), that at my core, I am Rebecca. Yet, I, too, have two beautiful children
and a wife who would leave if I would transition. I may also destroy my job and everything I have
worked so hard for. Some days I can resist the pull to transition and risk it all, and some days I can-
not. I am on that fence and cannot seem to leap to either side. Does that mean I am not a ‘true’
TS? Or does that mean I am simply not ready for trasition? I have grown my hair out, I have had
facial hair removal, I have plucked my eyebrows rather thin (by accident. lol), I have started hor-
mones (and I’m stopping them to try to save the marriage), and I am in therapy, all over the past
several years. I have noted in my behavior that as I have had more resourses available, I have
poured them into Rebecca, and less into my male self. Nearly all my new clothes bought are fe-
male. Most of my new male clothes are work related only. What does that say about me? Has my
subconscious accepted myself but my conscious mind cannot? Or is a battle between my heart
and my mind, my soul and my responsibilies and those I love. Would I be a better parent fully self
actualized or in the ‘closet’ as it may be? How long can I wear this male mask? I already don’t
look much like a man anymore.

I would also die for my family, but why cannot I give this up for my family?

-Rebecca Chang
VC 398

I also agree with you completely there; thanks.

Rachael Wood

15
 Hiya Mandy,

I can relate to most of what you’ve said and can totally understand your situation.

I do get more sexual energy when dressed (although it’s not all about that), I don’t cry when
I’m forced to remain in boi-mode for an extended time and I’\ve never been suicidal .. but ... I
share your feelings about selfishness and protecting the one’s you love.

Sometimes in life we can have it all, other times we can’t. But I, like you, will not give in to the
selfishness and force my loved ones to deal with MY issue, MY feelings.

Darlin’, cry when you need to; it’s okay ... but keep doing what you’re doing. There’s no need
to “go for broke”. The love you feel is too precious.

Just my thoughts.

*big hugs*

Seleena

Mandy,
Thank You for posting that...it will help many to not feel so alone...Our sto-
ries are very similiar and yet different, i have the same family support and mine
goes as Far as my grown children and their significant others show their love for
me by making sure “Aunty Misty” allways has a present under the Christmas
Tree......But i understand and accept that my family is the most important and
i must protect them at any cost from the harm of narrow minded people...i am
what i am, i am Husband, Father, and misty when i wish....and i also would love
to be free, But, i made a promise long ago to my wife, in the talks of understand-
ing and in trust i swore i would never leave her for misty.....But in all this i am
free to be me and all that comes with that.....except truely being misty 24/7...but
for the love i have i can make that sacrifice... .Girls sometimes what we desire is
one thing, and sometimes what we have is far greater.
Misty

16
Mandy et al,

Right smack in the middle of our voyages of self-discovery we often lose sight of other important things. I can speak with some authority for
the reason that it happens to me many times over.

In every instance when I attempted to find equilibrium and have that “special” time for just me, the exigencies of life seemed to work overtime
to thwart all my efforts.

As I read this, that or the other it seems as though this challenge is universal and it leads to the question of “Is balance achievable, or is it only a
carrot on a stick”?

Our inscrutable neighbors to the Far East are the great purveyors of the notion that you can find stability in the midst of chaos. To support
their beliefs they use all that yin yang gobbledygook as a means to rationalize their philosophy.

With its roots in Taoism and Confucianism yin/yang tell us that for everything that exists there is a polar opposite. For example, here is a
grouping that Wikipedia supplied.

Yin-Yang; Moon-Sun;
Night-Day; Dark-Light;
Feminine- Masculine;
North-South;
Winter-Summer;
Earth-Heaven;
Love-Hate

I cannot speak for you, but I see something wrong with this picture. I do not see where any of the items is truly an opposite of the other. The
Moon is a satellite of the Earth, which is a satellite of the Sun. Night and day, or dark and light cannot work either, because to be truly op-
posite a day would have to be equal to the night to an accuracy of a single nanosecond or less. That isn’t going to happen because by the time
it was measured the time would have sped past.

Of course, it’s obvious that many of us on the Internet can debate for days with regard to there being no such thing as simply feminine or
masculine and I won’t assault the dignity of our collective intelligence to make that case here.

I would rather draw a distinction between the last set for the reason that these are likely the source for perhaps the greatest of life’s misunder-
standings and will lead me to my point.

So lets examine love and hate!

Love and hate, don’t these just have to be opposites? After all, from the time we were little peeps all we have heard from our parents or others
is “I love you” or “I hate you!” and how about that statement about the “fine line between love and hate”? What are these words anyway?
Aren’t they actually emotions? If they are emotions their polar opposite has to be the pure absence of emotion or the best single word is indif-
ference. To personify this antithesis to love and hate I must neither love or hate you, but rather have no feelings toward you at all.

Balance must be opposed by imbalance, or is it unbalance? It is imbalance or in other words dissimilarity. Using unbalanced would simply be a
negative action such as throw into turmoil, disturb, distort, or derange things.

Perhaps I might suggest that balance isn’t about our definitions, but rather a means of describing the method by which we sort out things in
our lives. Balancing is not about arriving at nirvana, it’s a process! It is about continually assigning the appropriate amount of our time or
energy to the various activities in our life.

Will there ever be enough time for this? Will there ever be enough time for that? No, not really, but there may be place where the imbalance
becomes comfortable rather than distressing.

The question of the ages for all of us is; “Will there ever be enough time for me to be me?” Perhaps not ever is my rejoinder! The trick is can
you find the means to spend the right amount of time doing the right thing at the right time, with the right amount of feeling?

That means that our lives need to be about blending not balance!
Joanne Maureen Bennett
VC#0238
VC President, 2003 - 2004

17
 --WOW, i really appreciate your openess in this letter . I know
most of the writing is sex fantacy or bull shit but you sound
real and that is rare. SAying your problem with this life
style is very good and truthfull. I cant imagine having a wife
and kid and keeping both life styles on the edge. I know about
the crying and trying to figure out why we let this go on hurt-
ing us . Would we give it up if the sex drive was gone ? Or
would this damage us further. I have wondered that for a while
,If i removed the drive would i just love life like that and be
normal or what? Anyway i’m glad you were for real and not just
another hot on the net tv
Marcy

Hi Girls,

I had to respond to this thread as it has stirred my feelings.

At the outset, I have to state that I fully believe that we are born with our gender
dysphoria. This being the case, there is nothing that we can do to avoid being who
we are. We are therefore left with the choice of accepting who we are or remaining
in a state of denial. I was in a state of denial for a very long time: up until I discov-
ered the internet and learned that there are many people like me. Fortunately, I
am no longer in denial as to who I am. Believe me, had I been able to accept myself
when I was younger and before I had taken on family responsibilities, I am fairly
certain that I would have transitioned.

That being said, I did not accept myself until my late thirties. Consequently, I went
on to marry, have a child, divorce, and remarry. My wife indeed knows of my gen-
der issues and is very supportive although her biggest fear is that I will transition.
At this stage in my life, although I know that I am more transsexual rather than any
of the other labels that we have, I do not intend to transition as I do not want to up-
set my family and professional life. What happens after my child becomes an adult
may be another story but that remains for the future. Fortunately, I am not in a po-
sition in my life where I have to transition to survive. Presently, I am at peace with
myself and can cope with being part time. Yes, I do go out in mainstream life as the
woman that I am and I truly enjoy every minute that I get to spend as myself. Like
the other girls have mentioned, I do become saddened when have to go back to
my male self, but I can live with that. I also have things that I like to do as a male.
Overall, I have fully accepted who I am and I am very happy about that. After all,
how many people can say that they have experienced living in two genders!

Huggz,
Kristina
VC 421

18
 Dear Mandy,

Thank you, you have expressed 100% how I feel. You hang in there
girl things will work out for Mandy.

Warmest Hugs,

Barbara Ann
Miami

Mandy, why are you so hard on yourself? The work you do for our com-
munity is huge and we all benefit from it in different degrees.. Yes you are
probably fortunate to have so many supportive family and friends ( I too
have a fully supportive wife and two little girls so I know I am) however
in my personal opinion your TS friend is probably your least support-
ive friend and have no right to add to the pressure/stress you are going
through.

My wife has a very religious family so we keep Elaine very secret espi-
cally as they are very sarcastic when it comes to any person within the
GLBT spectrum. They believe that any one can be cured by turning
back to God because they belief that this choice was made in the ‘pre-ex-
tisence’ at which point i can argue this because i state that if anyone knew
what trouble and discrimination they would face here on the earth then
they would never make the decision to be different (my wife has 2 aunties
that are Lesbians so the word hypocrite springs to mind)

At the end of the day we are who we are and life is about finding bal-
ance. To make any relationship work, its about love, compromise and
‘bloody’ hard work. At the end of the day you can not help who you fall
in love with you, you just have to make the most of it. So as i said before
don’t be so hard on yourself and try to embrace who you are and consid-
er it to be a blessing to you and your family not a burden, because without
you doing all the work for us, the world would be a poorer place!

Elaine xxx

19
Yes, Only the
indivdual can decide
what they can or cant
live with, which ever
way they go life is I have written two long and heartfelt responses to Mandy and
not easy. Rachel - but I had to delete them both because, whilst I can of-
fer so much empathy and understanding, everyones situation
Stacy is so totally unique.

I can empathise with Mandy - in that I could not put my wife and
kids through the trauma - I would have to leave home for their
sakes.

I can empathise with Rachel because I know that for her to live
a lie would probably be destructive to her mental and physical
health.

I just wish that Society could be more understanding - because

most of our biggest hurdles are based on blind prejudice.

My Heart goes out to you both.

Love from Mia xxx

Hi Mandy,
Nicely put, I enjoyed your post. I to am happily married with to kids, though they are not aware of my
dressing up. I dont dress and go out to pick up date etc. I dress for me because I enjoy it and it makes
me feel good. It also saddens me when I come home from a trip and know I wont get to dress as much
as I would like.
I do get to dress regularly at home and when I am traveling, though my wife is the only one in the
familly that knows of my desires to dress and go out, even though she doesn’t really understand. I
have tried to explain it to her as best I can, and do my bset to reasure her that I am not doing it for any
other reason than my own enjoyment.
I does sound like you have it better than alot of girls I have talked to, and possibly some what better
than I do, Though it may not be so. It is not always easy living in two worlds. But I know it would
drive me nuts if I couldn’t be Phyliss on a regular basis.

Hugs, Phyliss

20
Agreed there hun, Mandy does sound like a wonderful person. Didn’t want my post to
sound like one egging her on but there comes a time in your life when every TS person
has to weigh up, “Can I live a man’s/woman’ s life for the sake of everyone else and
what will that do to my own health?”

I’m not saying that a transition is not without cost, my own certainly has cost me
dearly but I felt I could not go on living as a man, hiding the real me from everyone as
if it were some dirty secret that I should have been born female. In a few years time
there may have been no me to tell the story, that is unfortunately a reality that some
girls take their own lives as they can’t deal with it. Some do it in transition as the
cost of what they lose makes them feel there is no other way out. It’s just extremely
hard being TS at any stage. Life is not a trail run and each of us has varying degrees
of gender dysphoria. Some wish they were the opposite gender but find peace enough in
dressing as life permits, others will feel ill to the point of taking their own lives if
they are forced to endure a lie any longer.

I love my ex and my 2 kids with all my heart. Do I miss waking up next to her and hav-
ing my eldest rush into the room and jump on top of me telling me to get up? Yes I do. I
could have kept that together but at what cost? Feeling desperate, lonely because nobody
coud see me for who I really was, hating the body I was in. I’d had thoughts of end-
ing it all and I’d say a lot of pre and post op TS girls have probably felt the same.
At the end of the day my kids deserve a parent and to end it all would be unfair on them
but the root of the issue is I was deeply unhappy and no amount of compromise would take
away from the fact that it was my very identity as a male that was the issue.

I feel deeply upset that I have hurt my ex by transitioning but I ask myself if she knew
what I went through to be male, would she expect me to do it for everyone else or would
she rather I was happy. I can still be a parent, friend (some couples are able to make
it work), and still do everything I could do as a man. If we say I should not have done
it because of public reaction then we say we give up on trying to change society for the
better and the narrow minded fools who make us all suffer at some time in our lives have
won. being TS is the curse I described, I’d give anything to cut it out of me and have
been able to be the man everyone expected me to be. Her feelings change like the wind
at the mo, I don’t know what pain she is going through despite already having moved on.
She is on this group now, maybe she might respond one day.. She did tell me at one stage
that she’d not let me give up if this is what I want. Who knows how it’s all gonna pan
out? Nobody.

Good luck Mandy in whatever you decide, only you can make the call based on your own
unique circumstances. Unfortunately to transition, or not to transtion, someone will be
hurt, that is what makes being TS such an terrible thing to live with. My thoughts are
with you.

Rach xx

21
Yep great blog mandy, like you i
am in a great position, married
to a great girl with one and half
well behaved kids lol. Can be too
greedy at times though as all my
wife asks is just to once in a
while look like the man she mar-
ried, this i try to do but hate do-
ing it. Did have a stumbling block
over the fact that one day i want
to try to get boobs of sorts, but
we have come to agree on a sort of
half way house on this subject. As
for my children, always gonna be
hard as i feel as if my oldest sees
me as some kinda great guy and i
do try to hide my secret self away
from him most of the time. The way
i see it though is one day they
will grow up and have their own
life and be free to live it as they
choose....Just like i can, might be
a bit of a ruthless thing to say,
but i tried living a life society
expected me to live and well it
just wasnt me, the more i am able
to live my own live the less de-
pressed and stressed i become and
that can only be good for all my
family.
Shelley Barnes
Heartfelt, Mandy, thank you. It sounds
as though you live with more balance than
many of us. I’m not sure why we choose
to suffer for the pleasure of others (or
in keeping the peace with others by not
being our true self. What if we pleased
ourselves? Took care of our very needs
like no one else can? What if ‘selfish’
isn’t a detriment to those in our lives,
but a source of joy for us, and by exten-
sion expanding their lives too? Can that
possibly make any sense?!?
Mysha Valerie
Mandy, you sound a wonderful person, one of the
few who do actually put others before your self.
It makes me very sad when I hear all the reasons a
partner should stand by and put up with a TS partner.
No one wishes the TS person to be unhappy, but
often it is noticed that a person can convince their self
the partner is happy with the situation, and it is often
not the case, I have had so many tell me all is well
and then I get a call on the help line from the partner
in shreds.
I often this it is far braver not to transition then it is to
actually take the path.
There for you, seems no light at the end of the tunnel,
it is very sad, you can only be brave and make the
most of what you have got.
I wish you lucky and hope you can find some happi-
ness in the fact you are part of a loving family.
Hugs Stacy
22
 So how do you think I feel when not only am I in your same exact situation,
with the same exact feelings, but I don’t even get to dress but once in a blue
moon! First because of the family being around all the time, and next because
of the economy taking my chances away at having a Tawni room somewhere.

Big sigh, loads of tears, and then out to put the kids to bed.

XXOOXX

Tawni

I too have felt like this, although I am single with no kids, and I knew I was female at about 3, but I had to start
living my life as my true self and not hide it or i was going to die, lucky for me I had my sister there to support
me, although mum and dad, although mainly mum, will not speak to me at this time, after I told them I am hav-
ing surgery.

A friend of mine, also faced a similar delema, and it nearly killed her, but it was her wife that said she had to
transistion, others unfortunalty have had to give up everything so as to live their life.

I would suggest that you talk to your wife about it, She is supportive isn’t she, just talking can help, and maybe in
the future you can do something about it.

All the best

Hugs
Sharon

Well summed up and so true. Rock and hard place it is, we

did not choose this condition but have to live with it. I
have made my decision and yes it hurt others but the sup-
port I now have from my daughters and family sweeten that
bitter pill and make it worth while. Mandy you are a very
lucky lady because you can cope with the duality of your
condition so dont be sad enjoy it.

Kirstie

23
When Mandy did an early post of her Narcisse blog, it rather took me aback. The timing was scarily weird, in
that I had just that very week summoned up the courage to tell my wife all about me.

Mandy referred to the proverbial ‘rock and a hard place’ and have I felt that for years! In some respects, though,
my hand was forced.

I was beginning to look a bit feminine anyway, even when at home dressed in ‘civvies’; very long hair being a
bit of an obvious one - I’d had flack, but refused to get it cut shorter. Then, a few weeks ago, my son visited from
South Africa. Apparently he’d had a dictat from my daughter (also out there) to talk to me about the hair, but he
obviously realised there was more to it than that, so didn’t broach the subject at the time, but then e-mailed me
after he got back; he listed all his observations and came to a conclusion so close to the truth that, after talking
it through with my closest friend, I e-mailed him back the whole story - the one that starts about 7yrs old, when
I adopted the name that I still use today (Joan then, Jonie now), through the many years of (mostly) suppression,
then the realisation that I could actually do something about it, helped by the fact that in recent years I have
worked away from home, up to starting on hormones a couple of years ago. His response was surprisingly sup-
portive, just a few more questions and mainly worried about his mum. That had been my worry for years, know-
ing it would have to come out sometime; how could she face her family and friends - very conservative back-
ground. Now there was no choice and after a week of hmming and haaing I finally summoned up the courage to
tell my her.

She wasn’t exactly happy, far from it, but was definitely understanding and, so far, the decision is we stay to-
gether. I haven’t suddenly started wearing skirts around the house and village, but I have started wearing girls’
trousers and tops - pretty androgynous stuff - and I no longer have to keep hiding things away. I have now told
our GP, who joked, “Well you could always fly off to Bangkok and get your tackle whipped off!” He’s referring
me to a specialist and was quite interested where I get my hormones from. Next week I have made an appoint-
ment with my boss and shall tell her. After that there will be lots to do; name change, tell other family, banks,
etc, etc, but still it’s a great weight suddenly gone.

I’ll be very interested to see if Mandy’s blog article creates a lot of feedback. The only issue I have is the use of
the term TG to describe someone, as in ‘She is a TG’ - what is that? ‘She is a Transgender?’ !!!
To me, Transgender is a general term, a collective of all the different expressions of transgenderism; CD, TV,
TS pre/post op, whatever.

To be honest I do not have strong feelings on these things - quite honestly, people can call themselves what-
ever they like; why not? Still, from what Mandy says, I wouldn’t say she was a CD or TV - yes she dresses as
a woman part-time, but it seems to me that it’s because that’s what she feel she is, or at least should be. As far
as I’m concerned that’s a Transexual, ie a TS. Presumably, if she had never got married and had children, she’d
probably already be on hormones and maybe further? Who knows?

All in all, though, it was a thought provoking article!

-------------------------------------------------------

ove, Jonie X

24
Hi Mandy

For a lot of what you wrote, you could have been talking about me at some stage. Re-
cently having come out after fighting this gender dysphoria all my life I realise I can’t
change who I am. I have 2 boys and when I came out to my gf about being TS I too
thought a lot about the effects on my children. The simple facts are that there have
been studies into children having trans parents and no evidence supports the assump-
tion that somehow it is placing a stigma around their necks and ruining their lives. I’m
afraid that is what our own worst fears tell us because we fear the worst from soci-
ety. I can point you in the direction of the research if you would like but on key as-
pects, children were happy that the parent didn’t have to live a lie for them, received
no more bullying than would normally occur for a multitude of other reasons, nor did
any of the children grow up with gender dysphoria themselves. That was a universal,
100% of sample result so definitely food for thought and discussion.
My children’s needs weighed heavily on me too but only by being ourselves can we
change public perception and bring open minded kids into the world. I am still my kids’
dad but now they call me Rachel to avoid embarrassing situations in public. I com-
pletely understand a person not doing this for fear of the effects on their family but it
is a choice we must all make. I never chose to be transgendered but yes, I accepted
that did not make me a bad parent or person and found no evidence that my partners
and my fears of the repercussions on my children were based on anything other that
assumptions. Every bit of evidence I found on the net said that trans people can make
good parents and have healthy relationships with their kids. It is not being selfish to
be true to yourself. It is giving the people you love to have the chance to know you as
who you really are. I’ve saidin a previous post that being TS is a curse and it is but it
is who I am, I could live my life as a lie or I can show people who I am. Only one of
those “choices” gives everyone the chance to accept and be happy.
How old are the kids? Again research suggests that children are best told before enter-
ing puberty when they have enough to deal with, or once they reach their 20s. Young
kids are especially resillient and are born with no prejudice but what we teach them.
I completely respect your choices hun, yes coming out TS could well signal the end
of your marriage and your family would be split. Does your wife know how deep your
feelings go? That is what happened to my family but I will always be an active par-
ent and I’m determined to raise 2 healthy, balanced, broad minded boys. You only
live once and we can regret doing or not doing as long as we like. I’d just prefer to be
remembered and known as who I really am.
I hope you understand I really feel for what you are going through. Torn is a word that
just doesn’t seem big enough to describe the conflict inside. Both kids accept me and
still love me although an interfering ex’s mother saying things to try to confuse them
and make my lifestyle seem bad to my ex since I moved out is a concern. Hope what-
ever you do you find peace with yourself hun and if ever you want a chat feel free to
send me a message

Rach x

25
Great story/blog Mandy.Myself I dress
fro ‘myself’ and not for someone else.In
my beginning I purged MANY,MANY
times and cried,Then a few years back,I
said OK,This is me and only me !! Now
my family does not know and would
not support me(due to my reglion up-
bringing!) So darling stay strong and for
yourself !!

Thanks and Kisses,Danielle’Michelle’Wright

I’m moved and can totally relate

thank you for putting into words feelings that many of us feel but not always
know how to deal with?
Osnat Cross

Dear Mandy,
Thank you so very much for your profound blog. I
really could relate to the depth of
emotion that poured out from you. Please do not
Beautifully get discouraged as pain is a fully human
experience as I have witnessed as a physician
summed up over the past quarter century. Also be
how a lot of us aware that we in this sorority have a profound
gift, not a condition. The fact that
feel Mandy, society does not understand is due to their my-
thanks xxx opic understanding of the universe. I hope
to meet you in the near future and tell you of my
adventures in England as part of the
British Health system in the early 1980’s.
Fiona Fisher Sincerely,
Melody Phoenix VC512
Very Proud to be a member of the Vanity Club

26
Dear Mandy,
Thank you so very much for your profound blog. I really could relate to the depth of
emotion that poured out from you. Please do not get discouraged as pain is a fully hu-
man
experience as I have witnessed as a physician over the past quarter century. Also be
aware that we in this sorority have a profound gift, not a condition. The fact that
society does not understand is due to their myopic understanding of the universe. I hope
to meet you in the near future and tell you of my adventures in England as part of the
British Health system in the early 1980’s.
Sincerely,
Melody Phoenix VC512
Very Proud to be a member of the Vanity Club

WOW! Mandy you have been reading my heart!

Maybe I don’t have as much to lose as you but perhaps maybe

more as I am totally unknown to anyone in my family and friends
outside the trans community. I know that given the chance I would
go full time and at least begin the road to transition as I too think
that I’m probably somewhat TS as well but to do so would be to
cause irreparable harm to those I truly love. I too don’t feel that I
have the right to do so.

I too find myself shedding tears over the restrictions I’m under and
the very limited opportunities to dress and go out but the alterna-
tive would result in far too much heartache and sorrow. At least I
can look in the mirror and, made-up or not, dressed or not, I can
still see the girl I really am looking back at me and that makes me
happy.

To be able to share in and with others who truly understand is

priceless.

Lorraine Brown

27
Dear Mandy, you always ask wonderfully provocative questions.

A few points in response to your blog.

My TG counselor and a TG medical doctor friend have both commented to me on the state of medical
research regarding transsexualism. The research suggests (I’m not sure it’s provable) that being TG/TS is
something we’re born with. We all start out in the womb as female. At about the 5th week hormone sig-
nals begin the process of making us male. There is something about the signal (maybe a weak hormone
signal) that triggers the body changes to produce a male but leaves the brain female. We know that male
and female brains are quite different. If this is the case, it’s just who we are. It’s the way God made us. It’s
not a fetish or a disease or something to be embarrassed by.

I’ve blogged on this myself. Ask a genetic woman if she’d like to present herself as a man for the rest of
her life.

Being TG doesn’t define our sexuality. My TG counselor, Dr. Sandra Samons, has written a published paper
titled “Building Your Own Prison.” She has also written a book on her decade long experience counseling
TG/TS men and women, “When the Opposite Sex Isn’t.” It was written for the psychologist who hasn’t a
clue (never having encountered a TG before and likely to get it all wrong) and for ourselves as we try to
understand who we are and find useful counsel.

So here we are, you and me. We both love our wives, we have fathered children, whom we love as well,
yet we are driven near the point of desperation to be women ourselves. There seem to be two models for
us to follow in the TS community. Those who destroy their past lives and build anew. Donna Rose and Jan
Hamilton are examples where wives won’t follow. The second model is with wives (or significant others)
who are sympathetic and willing to put up with a husband who transitions and lives as a woman. I know
some of these women as well though they are not as public as Donna or Jan. There is also the possibility
that after transition the TS woman will find men attractive. We truly turn the concepts of heterosexuality
and homosexuality on their heads.

I’m not sure how to make all this amusing either. We are talking about real life, which for the TG/TS wom-
an can be euphoric or heart breaking. I think all we can do is present our stories, well written, and let the
reader sort out their own lives.

BTW. Jan Hamilton posted a chapter of the book she is writing. She writes about entering the dating
scene and trying to figure out men. I find it so amusing that she comes from being an ultimate macho
man and now men don’t make much sense to her. I suspect the answer is she never was in her heart of
hearts the macho man she portrayed. Jan was always too close to the surface. She spent her life as Ian
trying to suppress Jan to the point of putting herself at great physical risk. “If this kills me I won’t have to
deal with Jan anymore.” Ultimately, Jan was the winner in the battle that raged inside Ian/Jan’s head. It
is going to be a great read.

It is through these first person accounts that we start to understand ourselves as well. I have had the ex-
perience of meeting another TG woman and though we were a continent apart hitting it off immediately.
We are amazingly alike. This is surely the reason that some TS women gravitate to other TS women as
partners.

Hugs girlfriend. Jennifer

28
Mandy,

You are an amazing person, who is trapped by circumstance. I know many others
who are “stuck” at the stage “crossdresser”. If circumstances were different they
would choose to live their lives as the women they are. You know what you are, but
you have the courage to be sensitive to your loved ones. That is an amazing act of
self sacrifice. I did the same, until my children grew up and left the nest, then my
wife of 23 years told me she had to move on. I might never have had the chance to
be myself, or I might have eventually given in, I will never know.

I think to sacrifice oneself for love is noble, but incredibly hard. There is nothing
wrong with this, it just is. But, at 62, I am finally myself, out in the world, and hap-
pier than I have ever been. It is never too late, hon. And we all cry millions of tears,
hon, it is our lot. You honor us with your sharing of yourself. I am sad that I will
never have the memories that you have, I will never know how good I would have
looked at younger ages, but I am thankful that I was able to “hold” it all together
long enough for me to discharge my obligations to my family. And you are ahead
of me, in the sense, that you are known by both your selves to that very important
family. That is a gift to them, and a gift you will treasure when you are older.

You could think of yourself as Ulyses lashed to the mast, listening to the sirens, or
you could thinks of yourself as a hero, for taking care of business as you have been
forced to do to make life happen for you and your family. No mater how you think of
yourself, you must know that life is unpredictable, and it is what we make it. Honor
and integrity matter. When that you can finally share all this with those you love, I
am sure they will be proud that you had the courage to honor them with your self
sacrificing love for them.

Leigh Smythe
One who couldn’t, but got there eventually

As a f/t cd at home, and single, i can only imagine the dilemna

of being in your position mandy. dressing is a part of me, and it
is a sexual turn on, but not always. make any sense?

Danielle Cross

29
Dear Mandy,

When I read your piece I couldn’t help but see myself described in those words.

I, too, have been “lost in pink fog” upon returning home after days being myself and having
to go back to “en homme.” I am often reminded of something I heard comparing Superman
with other superheros. Most superheros, such as Batman or Spiderman, put on a costume to
distigue their true identity. Superman doesn’t. He wears a costume everyday (OK, just glass-
es) to hide who he really is and takes off that disguise to reveal his identity as Superman. I
kind of feel the way that you do about why I dress. It is not for sexual reasons, but rather is
expresses who I feel that I really am. Like Superman, I feel that I wear my daily disguise to
hide who I really am.

In the years that I have been involved with the trans community, I have had the good fortune
to meet lots of people. We trans people quickly and easily talk with one another about our
“common secrets” and I have found some many similarities in each of our stories. You are so
right is saying that none of us is alone. Just as each snowflake is unique, so is each of us
- although the feelings that we share shows just how much alike we all are.

Hugs and kisses,

Jamie
VC 496

I’ll start off by saying I really don’t Hi Mandy,

hardly ever post to groups, I suppose
because I’m lazy (although I like to
think I’m just busy). But you com-
ment about being thought provoking
is right. While no two gurls have the
exact same experience, it is intersting
how you thoughts seem so close to
home. I hope things go well for you,
and you’re right about one thing ...
you’re not alone.
Firstly thank you for sharing. And don’t cry, (unless
it’s with joy)
Because you are gifted with the best that a man can
have (a wife and child) and of woman (sensitivity and
beauty). Rejoice in your duality!
And thank you also for sharing, and cherishing, the
pain and pleasure that lies between selfishness and
selflessness. IMHO, all too many are lured or ill-ad-
vised into GRS - a mini-suicide which destroys lives of
innocent bystanders, and from which there is no return.
Believe me hon, I have been a happy trannie for 50
years, and we have the very best of both worlds!

Best wishes always Closetta_tv

Julie

30
 Hi Mandy-

<big hug> Thank you for posting about how it feels to be tg/ts and be
in a position where you have obligations to your spouse and family. My
situation is nearly identical to yours, so I understand how you feel,
girl. I agree with you that sometimes our own needs and feelings have
to take a backseat to the responsibilities we have taken on, but oh how
hard it can be.

Best of luck to you, dear, and to everyone in a similar situation.

Hugs...Joni Marie

Hiya Mandy!

That is beautiful and your sentiments ring very clearly with me too! I am very
similar with the exception of not have the support of friends and family as I
remain in the closet with my dressing and possible gender disorder too.
I have a lovely wife and 2 kids (8 & 10) that I adore and would give my life
for...I love my family life as a father and husband but love when I can be en-
femme and Samantha as much too! I work during the week away from home
and can dress somewhat regularly but each time I change and transform into
Samantha, I want to look and feel more and more feminine...I think about it
often but know that I would not...like you...put my wife and kids in that situ-
ation. I have not even told my wife in all of these years for fear of placing a
stigma on her about this too...! She is so understanding so many levels and
probably would deal with it but I have not crossed that line...
Just to let you know...I was really touched by your blog and you certainly are
not alone in your feelings as well.
Thanks for sharing and allowing girls like me to share with you this issue that
each of us hold inside...

Love ya...
xoxo
Samantha VC 504

31
Just read your heart felt outpouring and although I don’t know
you nor you me I feel so connected with most of what you wrote.
Why can’t I have just been born a girl and then life would be sim-
ple. Although would I want to be a lesbian girl or bi-sexual? Most
man are simply so ugly! I have a few gay friends, and envy them so
much as compared to want just girls go through, I think society is
pretty accepting. I may be wrong who knows. Anyhow, just wanted
to say ‘Hi’ and your words rang so true.

Joanne (London) xx

How thin is that line between being Gay,Lesbian, Bi,Transgendered or

Transsexual. It may be one gene or even something else. I knew I was
different at a very young age and tried to Transition for the first time in
1975 only to have it almost cost me my life. I had two younger brothers
both Gay and we grew up in a normal small redneck town. I have found
it much better being myself now and I’m happier.

Hugs,Leslie

Hi Mandy
Hi Mandy,
I can say ditto to most of that! It was very nice to read your blog,
than we are a lot of CD-s, who are
I have 3 children and have been married in the same situation.
for 12 years. I have the same feeling than you,
I am 37 now and face this same situation. with the exception, that I can dess
and have outing only a fwe times
My wife and children all know and are used in a year, although I can do it at
to seeing me dressed. home. I love my family, and would
I am not out to anyone else accept just a never do it against them, and I feel
couple of people like my hairdresser and me very lucky , that they accept me
electrolygist. Also the girls at the laser as I am. So I trust you Mandy, and
clinic. I thank you also for your fantastic
work with Narciss, which help me
My wife and children know one day I want also a lot to get information about
to transition but I am trying to hold off us.
for now. I am finding ways to get rid of
some of the stress. all the best from Budapest
I am now jogging 25 miles + a week and
it really helps keep me on an even keel! Wilhelmine
( plus I have dropped another dress size
Yipee!)
Thanks for sharing.
Lisa

32
 Hi Mandy,

I’ve never really posted here before, but your last message definitely struck
a chord with me. I think you are right to say that there are many in the same
position as you, as the response so far will testify. I myself am newly married
with no kids on the horizon. My wife knew long before we were married and
it has never been a problem for her. She’s actively involved with my all as-
pects of my life and we have enjoyed nights out and dinners in with our TG
friends as we do with any other friends. I couldn’t love her more for all the
support she gives, making this seem all the more the normal part of life it is.
However, even with all this support she has made it very clear that if I were
to pursue and be diagnosed TS then it would be the end of our marriage. I
can understand entirely her point of view and appreciate her honesty. I’m
fortunate I guess that I’m not as far along the sliding scale that I can’t enjoy
both my male and female life equally, so (I hope) this will not be a problem.

I’m most interested to hear views from other wives and girlfriends of TG girls,
as it’s a point of view we rarely hear. How does it affect your day to day life
and how does it make you feel when the subject comes up in conversation
with friends? Does the willing shopping partner and extended wardrobe
make up for the extra hours waiting for us to get ready and the occasional
(ahem!) emotional outburst?

You’re absolutely right Mandy, all the more none of us are alone. There’s
always a friend to help when you need it...

Love to you all,

Ayla
xxx

Hi Mandy - You are not alone - I often feel similar frustrations but have only recently decided that I
need to socialise with other Tg/Ts friends which I hope to do very soon.
Even though my wife is very understanding, supportive and often helps me to shoose clothes - I am
still locked up to a very large degree.
Like you I have made the choice to stick with my family rather than throw the most important people
in my life into despair in order to fulfill my own needs and desires. I do not believe that it is fair to
burden them unduly with my problems because it is a part of me alone that is the sole cause of the
problem.
OK, so I could take the line that people should be more accepting of us and that if we dont make our
mark then things will never improve - Whilst I could cope with the challenges that would incurr -I
know that my family could not cope with the social stigma that still exists - so I choose to be very
careful to keep Mia under wraps.
We all have to make choices based on our own individual and unique situations - but I do think that I
have made the right choice for us as a family.
God bless you for the work that you do to keep us well informed and provide an important link with
others.
Hugs from Mia in Cornwall xxx

33
“Have just read your blog and I must say just
a year on from seeing my husband without a
beard that my life and that of my 13 week old
daughter has Not been ruined. But enriched
beyond measure and the sooner you are true
to yourself the weight of having to feel that
you have a “condition” will be lifted and your
whole family can then be happy and lead in the
way that unconventional isn’t something to be
afraid of.
Much love E x”

I don`t think your situation is “Unusual” at all..I`ve

heard basically the same story countless times over the
years down to the wife and child/children. .Eventually you
have to decide if you wish to be sad and depressed
for your entire life..Yes it would be hard at first if you
left your family and many might think it is selfish..But to
me selfish would be if you wanted something purely for
enjoyment or self gratification. .This doesn`t fall into that
catagory..It takes a LOT of strength to stay in a situa-
tion like that and keep your feelings hidden..Some peo-
ple can do it and just be content to dress when they
can as you do..But that gets harder and harder to do
as time goes by and then you find you have wasted so
many valuable years that both you and your loved ones
can be rebuilding your lives and moving on.
As far as the “TG” “TS” thing..From what I gather
the term Transgendered (TG) is simply a blanket term
that applies to everyone who dresses as the opposite
sex for whatever reason (CD, TV, TS, DQ, Etc)..I think
it is basically the WHY we dress that seperates us into
those sub-TG groups..Sara

34
 Hi Mandy,

This is a very good blog. With the lack of re-

sponsibility running rampet, it is still a basic
component of life. You are thoughtful and con-
siderate. But I would like to say this, if GD
gets to be too much and you desire to take your
life, then I think it’s time to do the need-
ful. Selfishness is applied when you lack any
consideration for the feelings of others. But
at some point, you can only do what you can do.
My motto is “don’t do anything I can refrain
from doing.” that means if I can control it, I
don’t need to do it.

Take Care,

Breanna

Hey Mandy,
While I can say I don’t have gender dysphoria I’v ehad other friends who do an dI can see how trumatic an
effect it has. Like you I’m marreid an dwas discovered but in no way i sshe supportive. In fact it’s fair to say
she in denial. she has no desire to see me sressed or even a picture of me. some time ago Chryss had written a
beautiufl opne letter to th esister hood describing who we were etc. I let her read it and she basically shrugged
and walked away. I have on echild as well and she’s special needs suffering form mild cerebral palsy and
Asperger’s Syndrome. My wife is also frial having suffered from pespitory failure and hainv g had to hav e
atrach installed then gastro-bypass her gall bladder removed. Arthritish and no a hip problem all after havng
both kness replace. I told her she’s going to be a bionic woman. She just doens’t look like Lindsay Wagner.
The effects of all the illness has taken a toll. Just an an example we were at a wake for a friend of mine and a
woman I didn’t know cam eup to her and siad oh are there your children. My daughter and I looked at each
other and thought what the heck, are you nuts??? I mean I was at least 57 at the time.
Hon I still hav eth eneed daily but it seem sto be so rare for me between work and family.
Each moment dressed as Rene’ is treasured. You have my empathy. I know how you feel.
I love what you do and you do it well.
Hugs,
Rene’
V.C. 452

35
hi there, everyone concerned with this kind of situation...

there is so much to say..and the resolution depends so much on our individual aspirations
and circumstances. ..i say “resolution” and not “solution”.. .it’s a dilemma for sure, but not a
“problem”... we are perfect just as we are...just part of God’s creation...

i see and feel for those of us who are some kind of TG as simply “different” from the ho-
hum majority...interest ingly different... in a society that shakes and sometimes strikes out in
face of difference.. .

the level of awareness on this planet is SO pitiful...

anyways, i’ve been single, married and divorced...and remain a loving parent...devoted to
my kids well-being and, yes, the them-or-me question takes a nonosecond to answer in their
favor...

medically-speaking, i’m categorized as TS...”severe gender disphoria”.. .although i prefer TG

and even that doesn’t get it...i’m not trans-gendered, i’m a woman who lacks certain female
features and posseses certain male features...

no wonder i hestitate every time i have to indicate my gender or sex on some silly
form...and the question is almost always irrelevant to the service the form addresses...

i’ve known about my gender identity since i was a little kid...however growing up in the 50s
in a remote part of the UK that was not an allowed way to be...and as for weeping because
i couldn’t play house or go to school wi my girl friend?...well. ..tut tut...and years of beatings
got me to refocus my gender identity...or at least keep quiet about it...

today, older though not that much wiser, i can no longer be anyone other than
myself...regardless of the cost...the stress is way too high...and i’m SO much happier as a
beautiful, fun-loving woman...

and, yes, i date men...although it took me a long time to break through the taboo and find
that my sexuality is receptive rather than active...and these days i adore really masculine
men...

well, that’s me...

my question for you is: “how do you define HAPPY?”...happily married?...happily parent-
ing?.. .happily pretending to be someone you’re not?...the answer is yours alone...

i wish you well with it...

love always, Shelley

by the by, i just turned 60...yeps, 60...an proud of it...

36
One Girl’s Story.... Alice Heathers

Sub title: One can run but they can’t hide

forever!

My male name is Doug,I am a Part-time cross-

dresser whos fem name is Alice.This story
is true and it’s about how I decided to take a
trip back in to the past as a young boy grow-
ing up in the mid 70’s when it all started at a
young age of �ive years old...
My parents and my three older sisters would
allways take a break from me by going up
north to the family resort for the weekends
and long weekends too so they can enjoy the
weekend with out me being there and they
had my oldest sister’s best friend Janet who
knew and understood what ADHD was about
as she was studing to become a child psy-
chologist or just as a nurse later in life. Since
I was able to recall if Janet was learning to be
a nurse or as a child psychologist I called up
my sister,and I was told she took both courses
but became neither!?

Ok now I am lost? As I was thinking as we was

talking on the phone I later found out why
she did’nt become a child psychologist or as a
nurse. My sister informed me that someone
in her family raped her just before she was heading off to collage.I asked her who?
She refused to say who it was that raped her.She was speechless for a short while as I recall
saying hello hello??? After a short while she started to blow her nose as she later told me she
she hunged her self in the basement cellar in her home. I was kinda of speechless myself now
as my sister asked me if I was still there?
I do recall saying yeah I’m still here. As my sister asked me whats big deal about recalling of
the past?I told her I was talking a trip back in time as I wanted to recall a few things such as
what happened to Janet her best friend and other things such as why was I left behind when
she and the rest of my famiy would go up north with out me?

37
Thats when I found out my main reason for wanting to crossdress ever since that day Janet
was babysitting me as a boy,and not as a girl.

Janet decide to tame me by having me wear her younger sisters clothing as we was both the
same age and size,as I recall I was an inch or two taller then her younger sister. She had it with
me even though I was taking my pills I was still hyper and wild so she deciced to take a new
approach,and told her younger sister Dougie needs to be tamed once and for all. She told her
younger sister to get me one of her dresses and a pair of tights and a pair of shoes too. As I re-
call that day the dress was black,the tights where white and the shoes was a shiny glossy black.

Now mind you the reader I did’nt offer to

dress up as I was forced in to wearing her
younger sisters clothes each weekend after
my parents dropped me off at Janets place.
At �irst I did’nt like it but after a while
when I realised Janet’s younger sister had
a crush on me,and was always following
me around school,and always saying hi
to me,and wanting to be my parter in any
class projects we had to do in class,after
this happened I started to look followed
to the weekends as the family would go on
vacation as I’d get the weekend at Janets
place to be a girl!Bonus if it was a long
weekend as I’d have an extra day to enjoy
trying on one of her out�its that I seen her
wearing to class each day.
I’d get dropped off at Janets place each
weekend as my parents would head up
north.
As I enter their home I’d be thinking about
what out�it is Janet’s younger sister going
to have me wearing tonight,and the other
out�its she’d hide in a closed box, so I can’t
see what out�its she and Janet had laid out
for me to wear while I was a guest in their
home. I miss those days!
Janets parents where hardly ever home
which was ok with me as I did’nt want to
be seen in girlie out�its by her folks or by
my folks for that matter as I’m not sure
how they would respond after seeing me
all dolled up like a girl aka sissy!.

38
 The Summer break has come to a close
as, I was’nt to keen about being back in
school,nor was my mother as my hair was
just touching my shoulder blades in the
�irst week back to school.

As I can recall later that day we had to do

gym class rather we wanted to or not,and
this one older teacher with bad eyes due
to her old age did’nt call us by our names
and treated us if we was in the army as she
had all of us standing straight up and in a
line as she would look at how well or how
sloppy we was dressed for gym class each
and every day for the whole year and she
for some reason she told me that,I looked
(Ok whatever?!) sloppy as she handed me a
girls (???) unitard to me as I can recall her
telling me to go and change into my uni-
tard!

OMG I wished I stayed home that day,as I

ended up wearing a unitard rather I wanted
to wear it or not to class that day! I was not
in to rush to join the rest of my class for
gym as the teacher came into the chang-
ing room ask whats with the hold up? So I
slowly joined my class a few mins later and
I was amazed no one mocked me for it so I
just acted like it was all a crazy dream.

The girls where ok with me wearing a uni-

tard as they did’nt make a big deal about a
boy wearing a girls unitard as they knew
the teacher was off the wall and it was best
just to go with the �low....

39
....as we where running around the gym I stuck with the girls as I was avoidng the boys
in class as I can hear them mocking me and calling me a sissy and a faggot and threaten-
ing to beat me up after schools over even though I had no choice but to wear that uni-
tard that day in class.

A few of the boys did what they promised to me after school! They where all nice and
saying how I was very brave to wear that out�it in class to me as they all gave me a high
�ive to me.

I was oh ok cool and I told them shes a bag who should’ve retired a long time ago as we
where are laughing and cruising her. Oh boy was I in for a total shocker once we was
off the school grounds and a bit down the street as they all pushed me to the ground
pounching and kicking me a few times and as I laid there in total pain a few of the girls
from class came running to see if I was ok or not?

I had a broken nose,both ribs I was a bit sore for a good week as,I avoided those boys as
much as I was able to by changing my paths when ever I see them.Sooner or later they
met up with me and beat the crap out of me day afer day until one of the girls pushed
me to the ground,and she did this day after day even in front of the boys who where
cheering the girls on and calling me this and that (They did’nt know the girls where
helping me to set them up by making me tougher! ) but after awhile I got pissed off at
her and her friends but after a few days I got their message. So I
had it up to here with being bullyed. The next day I did’nt change paths I walked right
passed them and went in to the washroom (Not to pee!) they followed me in with out
being aware that I was setting them up for once as they found out im not a push over
like I used to be.

It was just after that I stop hanging out with boys for a very long time even though I still
had guy friends who did’nt go to my school! I was ok with them but I kept my distance
from them due to the fear of them �inding out that I worn a unitard on gym class. As the
years passed I started to come around and started hanging out with guys again (Girls
too!) after moving to a new city with no fears of being found what happened in the past.
I’ve been on the internet since 1998 and over the years social web pages like
Friendsters,Yahoo groups,Yahoo 360 and social web pages like Myspace,Facebook,Hi-
5,and may more social pages have popped up over the years along wth the most recen-
tace social web page thats called Chictopia that started in the spring of 2008. I’ve been
on Yahoo’s 360, Myspace,Fricker, just after �inding out there where others like me I too
posted my pics on these social pages and over came my fear of being found out by a co-
worker or someone in my family.

40
I’ve been looking at Chictopia just after it
started in the spring of 2008 and by the end
of summer of 2008 I decied to take a stand
and join Chictopia but after awhile Chic-
topia close my account down for reasons
unknown? I gather as it was due to my ID “
DougakaAlison” and for writing that I was a
crossdresser who enjoyed dressing and pos-
ing as a girl on Chictopia.

I’ve since then rejoined after a few good

weeks under the same ID but after 5 weeks
I was kicked off once again. But I’ve rejoined
for the “ 3rd “ time back in mid Feb of 2009
and to this day I’m still have pro�ile on Chic-
topia even though I wrote about my male
side wearing jeans and t-shirts and wrote
about my fem side wearing heels,dresses
etc etc.

To this day I still do get all dolled up on the

odd day! And since I joined Facebook back
in Late Fall of 2008 as Alice Heathers I’ve set
a few goals of getting out and enjoying life
as a girl now on then on a non Halloween
night by adding lots of girls and t-girls (Full
or part time) from certain areas such as
Toronto,Hamiltion,Ottawa,The UK,Austiria
and other areas around the world as my
goals are to meet people who are like me
so I can get out of the closet and hang out
with them in a club or two or their place
that they call home, and attend a party that
I would get invited to rather they live in Ot-
tawa or some place in the UK.

The End!

41
Sunny

Funny
42
From Tony Brown:

My wife and I were making our honeymoon on

the Greek island of Crete and had spent a day
out walking.

As the sun set we found ourselves staggering

into a mountain village, miles off the beaten
track, and made our way towards a scattering of
tables and chairs overlooking the sparkling sea.
We were exhausted and dying from exposure. No
cream, no hats, we should have known better.
Every bit of exposed skin was stinging from the
sun.

People nodded and stared and my wife remarked

how rare strangers must be, away from the
resorts. We flopped into a couple of chairs and
the waiter materialised at once.

“What do you want, please?”

“Food and drink, anything.” My wife gave her

winning smile and he nodded.

“Nothing left now, but perhaps my mother make

omelet for you, OK?”

“That would be lovely.”

Off he went inside and soon reappeared with two

beers.

Our meal was delicious and I don’t think either of

us looked up until we were finished. The biggest
surprise came when I asked for the bill.

“Bill? Bill? But this is my home.”

“What?” We stared at each other, unable to take

it in.”But all these people, we thought you were a
taverna.”

He laughed. “No, no. Every month my son phones

from Australia and the family gathers to speak to
him.”

As we skulked off down the track again, he

called after us. “Come back tomorrow, we have
sardines.”

We still feel the burn whenever we look back to

our honeymoon.

43
 A few years ago I was working as a bricklayer of a
building site in sweltering heat when I decided it will
be a great idea to cut my jeans down into shorts. So out
came the Stanley knife, and I began hacking away at my
jeans. The first cut didn’t seem short enough, so I hacked
again this time taking little bit more off and tried them
on again. This time I ended up cutting through the crotch
and ending up with a denim miniskirt. Can you imagine
the sight of a 13 stone bricklayer wearing a hard hat,
boots and denim mini skirt in the rush hour waiting for a
bus home. I never lived it down. Andy

Many years ago, while holidaying in Key

West, we were waiting to check in at a motel
and got chatting to a middle-aged biker,
who was also waiting. “I was just talking to
your wife, outside”, Richard told the man,
who seemed surprised, and asked “How did
you know she was my wife?” Richard didn’t
have the courage to confess that it was the
large white panda patches around his eyes
- caused by wearing motor-cycle goggles in
fierce heat - that gave him away. His wife
had a matching set! John
At fourteen, my figure was well-developed and already had the
‘top-heavy’ look I have learned to live with. I was sunbathing at
the rear of the hotel garden, which sloped steeply downwards
to a hedge at the bottom. It was a popular place - there were
always plenty of guests sprawled about soaking up the sun’s
rays. I decided to go and get a drink and stood up, stretching
my arms outwards after a pleasant little nap. Unfortunately,
the catch at the back of my bikini gave up under the strain and
my bikini top catapulted through the air, down the garden and
right over the hedge at the bottom, in true Barbara Windsor
style! Sarah

44
I was a young soldier in Germany, out on
adventurous training by skiing in the Alps, I was
standing off piste when I spotted a tube of stuff
lying in the snow,on picking it up the only German
I could make out was sun protection 15, great I
thought and rubbed some into my exposed face
and neck. Unfortunately not only did it have a SPF
of 15 it also contained wintergreen, have you ever
tried to ski with your eyes watering, I have. I did
get an amazing tan though, possibly aided by the
increased blood flow to my face that day. Mike

My ‘place in the sun’ story, (actually ‘SHED in the Sun!’) was coming to
a conclusion, after buying this ancient uninhabited Greek house near
the Bulgarian black sea coast. Vasil, the agent, called at the house just to
check all was well, after concluding the contracts :

How’s the garden, Vasil?..must be pretty wild after being uninhabited

for years? I asked. Actually, said he, a kind neighbour must have kept
things mowed nicely….Who’s that, I must send him a thankyou card,
said I……Old Gosko said Vasil ( that’s Bulgarian for George.), but do you
mind him living there until you come next year?……….er, ok says I , has
he nowhere else?…….Well he sleeps in the open all summer, but when
the snow comes, he stays in your house……….& you have to clear up his
excretia after he goes, it will be all over the garden too..!

Baffled by George’s incontinence problem, I said: Is that why he lives

outside & on his own?(poor old soul).

No he’s not alone, says Vasil, he’s looked after by Stanka, the lady who
lives across the road. After my silent giggling & thinking the name
probably stuck after long association with George.. I continued:

Oh, that’s kind of her, shall I address the card to her? You could do, says
Vasil, as Gosko’s never going to read it.

Poor old soul, incontinent & now blind also, no wonder he needs looking
after, I thought out loud.

Sounding a little confused, Vasil said, oh he’s not blind & was in a hurry
so hung up.

Imagine the embarrassment when I later discover that old Greek houses
reserve the ground floor for animals to over winter, & George was a
Donkey!

45
Wearing a necklace my best friend had
given me for my birthday - a lovely
necklace with the dangling initial ‘H’
representing my name - we returned
from an enjoyable day out to find I had
caught the sun and been branded with
a big letter ‘H’ on my chest!! Jane

On a very sunny day on my yearly summer holiday with my parents and

siblings in Hayle, Cornwall, I decided to take my dingy out to sea. After what
seemed like several hours of playing on my dingy in the blistering sunshine I
felt a rather strange and disturbing poking under the dingy…Having grown up
watching Jaws I truly felt that my life was in danger. I screamed and started
paddling with my hands with all my might, trying to reach the shore which
seemed as though it were miles away. I really thought that was it for me.
Believe it or not I actually survived the ordeal and having dragged myself
ashore, strangely with my dingy intact, shaking and trembling I re-told my
ordeal to my father (I expected cuddles,sympathy and an ice-cream - no such
luck!) who although present was not aware of what I had just been through.
He retold my story to a nearby Cornish Fisherman who explained that it was
probably not a great white but in fact a Conger eel that was to blame for
my near death experience. My father thought this was highly amusing and
proceeded to lead my family in a rendition of ‘lets all do the conga….Let’s all
do the conga……” And to my utter humiliation my family all did the conga
along the sandy shores of sunny Hayle beach….a real holiday to remember!

My husband and I were on holiday on the Greek island of Karpathos and his
bald head was stinging with sun burn. As I inspected the damage and we
began discussing buying sun lotion, someone began tapping my leg with a stick.
It was an old lady offering me some pulpy mush from her hand.

“Aloe Vera. Aloe Vera,” she cried, pointing to a large cactus growing out of a
wall. She seemed to indicate we must not eat it because it would make us
very sick but if I rubbed some on my husband’s head it would not only take
away the sting but make his hair grow strong.

Three or four of her friends were watching from the shadows of their shielding
hands waiting to see what we would do.

I thanked her and did as she suggested, willing to make a fool of ourselves
just to be polite. As soon as I began to rub it in, the ‘girls’ twittered with
gentle laughter and began chattering like sparrows and patted their old
companion on her arms; well done, well done, another one bites the dust. Tales
for those long winter nights I supposed.

Our bus was waiting, and so were our fellow passengers twittering with gentle
laughter but too polite to say what had made them laugh.

46
47
Through
The

Lens
By Janet Smith

48
 My BFF, the camera. Oops! I forgot to set the timer.

“There may come a time when a lass needs a lawyer but diamonds are a girl’s best friend.” Well
that statement might be true for the genetic woman, Ms Marilyn Monroe, but I do not think it is at
the top in the transgender world. Diamonds are a close second to our best friend, the camera. Not all
of use own a pair diamond studded earrings or chocker necklace full of diamonds, however, given
the chance we would.

Rest assured. There is not a TG who does not own a camera or video camera. The camera is
part of our wardrobe, just like a good pair of stockings is. We always have a camera handy to take a
picture of our masterpiece. A problem faced by many, is when we do not have someone to take our
pictures. So, we have to rely on the timer on a camera. Let us look at some issues we may have, and
some ways we can fix them.

Probably the biggest issue people have with a timer is how to work them. Since there are so
many different cameras available, there is no way I could tell you how to operate each one.
What I suggest is to read your manual.

I would guess that about 99.9% of all the cameras will have a timer. The timer should have a

49
 like the picture below. Many cameras have the timers pre-set to ten seconds, but some may be
even as low as six. If the time can be adjusted, I recommend setting it to about ten seconds. Six
seconds is pushing it, but is doable. You will need enough time to position yourself and make
sure your hair is straight. You do not want to have to run, get set then FLASH. Also, you do not
want to be standing still for thirty seconds waiting on the surprise of the flash. It should be a
smooth operation.

If available, I recommend purchasing a remote for your camera. I have found this to be well
worth the twenty bucks I spent for one. A remote eliminates all issues with the timer. This will
allow you to move around, pose, and capture the shot.

Symbol used to signify the timer.

2. The next issue to discuss is the tripod. Tripods come in many different sizes and types. Of course,
each has its pros and cons. I believe the larger tripods are better simply because they are sturdier.
However, the larger tripods are cumbersome, heavy and just plan unsuitable in a smaller room.

Smaller tripods are easy to use, easily transported, and ideal for smaller areas. However, I have
found the smaller ones to be cheaply made. Some usually break or not support the larger cameras. For
example, I have used a smaller tripod that would fall forward when I zoomed out my lens, because it
became too heavy. If you don’t have a tripod handy, you can use books, cups, rocks, pocket books/
purses, a make-up kit, and even a compact. This is a solution, but using these items is tricky because
you are attempting to get the correct height. You may have to double-stack the items.

Tripods I would recommend are the smaller, collapsible tripods, the type which the camera
mounts to that has a bag attached to the bottom of the camera which conforms to the object placed
on, similar to a bean bag, and/or those with bendable legs (resembles spider legs). Whichever tripod
you choose to use, make sure it has a steady base. If not, you risk damaging your camera.

50
3. The next issue is one that is an easy fix, cutting heads or feet off in shots. To fix this problem is to just
zoom out enough to get the full body shot. If you happen to take pictures of the wall or floor, this is okay.
You can edit and delete unwanted items in your shot with your editing program on the computer. When you
do this, you can assure your 6 inch matching stilettos are included in the picture. Use your photo editing
program to zoom in on your shots. If you want a vertical picture, shoot horizontal, and then use photo shop
to make your vertical picture. If you want a torso shot, zoom in enough to get torso and a little extra, and
then fix it with your photo editing program. The same goes with a head shot. Remember, it is easier to take
away than put in.

4. Focusing seems to be a big issue. If you do not have a remote for your camera, I can show you a few
tricks. You can use a broom, pillow, or chair to pre-focus. Once you focus and set the camera timer,
remove the item. Make sure whatever item you choose to focus will be close to where you will be sitting or
standing. If not, you will be out focus. Another thing to remember is to make sure whatever item you use to
focus on is light enough to be removed quickly and easily.

5. The final issue I have encountered is a cluttered passage-way. I have tripped over my tripod legs or chair
before. You want make sure that there is not anything in the way that might cause you to trip and fall.
Remember, you only have a few seconds to get in the shot you have set up. You want to make sure you have
time to compose yourself before the camera takes the shot.

You have spent hours getting ready and do not want to mess up your look. Taking the perfect picture should
not be a chore. This should be the easiest part of dressing. When you are dressed and ready to go, the only
thing you need to worry about is setting the timer or pushing the remote. So, before you get dressed make
sure to go over these tips. Happy shooting everybody and have a great day!

51
52
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Would You?

COULD YOU?
65
Jean Jeanie

Competition
66
 VOTE #1 - Carollyn
67
 VOTE #2 - Lena
68
 VOTE #3 - Gina
69
 VOTE #4 - Jezzi

70
VOTE #5 - Jennifer

71
VOTE #6 - Jonie

72
VOTE #7 - Kimberly

73
 VOTE #8 - Lorrie
74
 VOTE #9 - Rachel

75
 S
VOTE
76
#10 - Samantha
 PHOTO
COMPETITION

Scarlet
Woman
OK Gang! Who amongst you things they have the where-withal to
be a Scarlet Woman? One picture person only please.
You can either send it to me direct at
mandytaylor6662000@yahoo.co.uk
or post it in the folder marke ‘Scarlet Woman’ at
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/lilboutique/

Best Of Luck!

77
 In The

PAPERS
Colorado man guilty of murdering
trans teenager
By Staff Writer, PinkNews.co.uk • April 23, 2009 - 11:58

A 32-year-old man has been found guilty of first

degree murder of a trans woman in the US state of
Colorado.

For the first time a 2005 law that added protec-

tions for people based on sexual orientation,
including “transgender status,” to the state’s
“bias-motivated crimes” statute, was used.

Allen Andrade was sentenced to life in prison

without parole, the mandatory penalty for first-
degree murder in the state.

The jury took just two hours to reach their ver-

dict that he murdered Angie Zapata. He bear the
18-year-old to death in her apartment.

The pair had met on a dating website and spent the

night together. He claimed he flew into a rage
when he “discovered” she had been born male.Her
body was found hidden under a blanket at her
apartment in Greeley by her sister.

Ms Zapata began living as a woman when she was 16

and had wanted to dress in a feminine style since
the age of seven.

After Andrade was sentenced his victim’s mother

said:
“The one thing he can never take away is the love and memories that me and my children will have of my
baby, my beautiful, beautiful baby.”

Andrande told police he had hit Ms Zapata twice in the head with a fire extinguisher and thought he had
“killed it” before hitting her again as she tried to stand up.

He then struck her a third time with the fire extinguisher and also took her purse, keys and phone before
fleeing in her 2003 Chrysler PT Cruiser.

78
 Trans woman wins almost
$500,000 in discrimination lawsuit
By Jessica Geen • April 30, 2009 - 10:40

A former Army Special Forces commander who

was rejected from a job because she was
undergoing gender reassigment has won her
case for sexual discrimination.

Diane Schroer of Alexandria, was awarded

$491,190 (�330,653) by US District Judge
James Robinson this week.

She had been offered a terrorism analyst

job at the Library of Congress when she was
known as David Schroer but the offer was
withdrawn when she told her would-be boss
about her upcoming gender reassignment sur-
gery
The American Civil Liberties Union, which
had argued Schroer’s case for her, had
said the ruling was significant because the
federal judge had recognised that
discrimination for changing gender was sex discrimination.

The Library of Congress and the Justice Department had argued that discrimination due to
trans status was not illegal sex discrimination under the Civil Rights Act.

The Justice Department has not yet confirmed it will appeal.

In a statement, Schroer said: “I served our country because I believe in an America that
is committed to ensuring everyone has an equal opportunity to have a meaningful life.

“That belief was shaken when I was told I wasn’t worthy to do what I trained my entire
life to do because I happen to be transgender.

Today’s decision restores my faith in our democracy. The court understood the senseless
harm that is caused by discrimination, and that gives me hope that others will also.”

79
New Hampshire committee rejects
trans protection bill
By Staff Writer, PinkNews.co.uk • April 24, 2009 - 14:43

The Senate Judiciary Committee of the New Hampshire state Senate has voted 5-0 to reject
new protections for trans people.
The bill would have added “gender identity” or “gender expression” to current laws pro-
tecting from discrimination on the basis of sex, age, race, creed, colour, sexual orienta-
tion or religion.
State representative Ed Butler, who sponsored the bill, said it was “a simple little non-
discrimination bill” which would prevent trans individuals from losing their homes and
jobs on the basis of their trans status.

It passed the state House by just one vote. It will be voted on by the full Senate next
week.
The Judiciary committee said the Human Rights Commission was equipped to deal with discrim-
ination complaints from trans citizens.
It also rejected calls for full same-sex marriage, previously approved by the House.
Since 2008 same-sex couples may enter into a New Hampshire civil union, as long as both
parties are at least 18, not a party to another civil union or a marriage and not closely
related by blood to their civil partner.
Civil unions only provide 400 of the 1100 rights and protections that heterosexual marriage
offers.
Gay marriage is legal in Connecticut and Massachusetts.
It was legal in California from June 2008 until November, when voters approved Proposition
8, denying gay and lesbian couples the right to marry. Prop 8 is being challenged in the
courts.

80
 Gender
recognition bill
to provide
protection to
Isle of Man
trans residents
By Staff Writer, PinkNews.co.uk • April 30, 2009
- 15:18

A Gender Recognition bill designed to protect trans people on the Isle of Man has received
unanimous backing on its third and final reading at the Legislative Council.
It is now being sent for Royal Assent.
The bill, steered by member Eddie Lowey, is being enacted to conform to the latest European
Court of Human Rights rulings and updates the law to the new identities of post-op trans
people.
It means a trans person who has been issued with a full gender recognition certificate will
be legally regarded as being of their acquired gender, and that they will be able to marry
a person of the opposite gender to their acquired gender.
The bill also states that the General Registry will establish a strictly confidential Gen-
der Recognition Register to record the details of all gender recognition certificates that
have been offered to the Chief Registrar.
It is based on similar legislation introduced in the UK, the Gender Recognition Act.
According to Iomtoday.co.uk, Mr Lowey said: “The Island must be able to show that it com-
plies with its international obligations.

He added: ‘Giving legal protection to a small but potentially vulnerable section of the
community is the right thing to do.

‘It’s almost impossible for most people to understand how anyone can see themselves out-
side the gender they were born as.

‘But this is a genuine medical condition which can cause a great deal of distress from an
early age.

‘Going through the change can improve the quality of life for people with this condi-
tion.’

81
 Personal Profile

82
I
T
A

G
N
N
N
How To Fake A Summer Tan
No doubt having a tan makes you feel thinner, sexier and healthier. But
these days baking in the sun is becoming increasingly more unpopular as
more women realize the sun’s UV rays age skin faster than anything (not
to mention increase your chance of developing the deadliest form of skin
cancer, melanoma).
If you’re ready to skip laying out but don’t want to give up glowing skin,
self-tanners are a great bet. Self-tanners can darken skin for up to a week
thanks to dihydroxyacetone, or DHA.

Here we run down five tips for self-tanning your face and body:

Tip #1: Salon tans are your best bet

If you want a flawless, professional application and can afford the price,
head to a spa or salon. For upwards of $60, you can get one of many
options: Full body exfoliation and professional application of self-tanner,
airbrush bronzing (where an aesthetician sprays a fine mist of tanner over
your entire body), or your least expensive option: Spray tanning. You can
step into a booth and get sprayed on all sides for about $20 a session or
more. Check out Hollywood Tans and Mystic Tans, two popular spray tan
chains.

Tip #2: How to use self-tanner on your face

This is a four-step process. Pull hair up in a ponytail before you start so
you don’t miss any parts. According to InStyle’s May 2007 issue, makeup
artist Scott Barnes once missed a spot on Jennifer Lopez’s ear because he
forgot to pull her hair up.
First, prep skin by gently cleansing and exfoliating. Skip moisturizer,
which may interfere with the tanner.

Step two: Apply undereye cream. According to Barnes in InStyle, you

want the color of your skin to be lighter under the eyes, it makes you look
younger.

Step three: blend a few drops of self-tanner and equal parts moisturizer in
the palm of your hand then apply over face and neck. You only want to go
one shade darker than your natural color.

Step four: Let color develop for three hours then follow up with a sweep
of bronzer on forehead, cheeks and nose -- areas where the sun naturally
shines.

Don’t forget: Smooth remaining tanner over earlobes and upper ears.
Wash hands thoroughly. Don’t skip the sunscreen.

83
Tip #3: How to self-tan your body
For this three-step process, start by exfoliating skin with a body scrub
in the shower paying special attention to rough areas including knees
and elbows (dry skin absorbs higher concentrations of tanner). Shave
before you tan. InStyle suggests using a body oil, instead of shaving
cream, when shaving.
Barnes suggests rubbing Vaseline on cuticles and nails. This protects
your manicure and keeps fingertips and nails from staining.

Apply tanner limb by limb, starting with your legs. Apply over the
shin and calf of a leg, sweeping tanner down over your ankle, foot
and toes. Then apply tanner to your thigh from front to back, using
the excess to cover your knee. Repeat on your other leg. For the final
step, apply tanner to your hips, stomach and torso, following with
your shoulders and arms. Wait 10 minutes to dry before dressing and
avoid any excessive activity that will make you sweat for at least a
few hours. If your tan hasn’t set, sweat could cause streaking.

Bonus tips: To remove tanner from palms, without washing

off product from the tops of your hands, rub palms along a wet
washcloth, making sure to get in between fingers.

Give arms, legs and decolletage a subtle glow with a body shimmer.

To create fake fab abs, create a contour with the tanner. InStyle
magazine suggests flexing your stomach muscles in front of mirror,
leaning to the side to see where your “ab line” is, then tracing the
outside of your muscle with a bit of tanner on your finger. Do the
same to the other side. Once it dries, do an all-over coat.

Tip #4: Pick the right tanner

There are several types of tanners: Tanners created just for the
face, airbrush tanners, cream tans, bronzing gel, tinted tans and tan
enhancers. There’s body shimmer and bronzing powder. You can
layer tanners as colors fade. How? Apply a lotion then follow with
bronzing powder or shimmer. Just be careful not to go too dark.

Tip #5: So you messed up, uh-oh

If you end up with a streaky tan, you can fix with an astringent toner
or even toothpaste. Exfoliate to even out a patchy application. Not
dark enough? Repeat the procedure. Just make sure you gave the tan
enough time to develop.

84
Question: Do I Really Need to Use a Body Scrub Before I Self Tan?
Do I really need to use a body scrub or a face scrub before I apply my self tanner?

Answer:
Yes. By using a face scrub or a body scrub prior to applying your self tanner, you are ensuring that you are
ridding your skin of the dry and/or dead skin cells. These areas of skin can, unless adequately removed, make
your tan appear blotchy and unattractive. So your best bet is to have the smoothest skin possible before you
apply your tanner.

(Got more money than sense? ED)

The Tootsie Tanner: A Seamless Tan All the Way Down to Your Tootsies

Tanned legs - white feet and ankles? Ok, this is one female problem even I know something about. I golf
bear-legged in the summertime – I wear shorts. This means I also wear shortie socks inside my golf shoes.
Thus my legs are always deeply tanned while my feet and ankles are snow cone white. This, I realize, is not
so much a problem for guys as it is for the ladies: it’s those strapless, backless, toeless spindly-heeled shoes
and sandals they tend to wear when not on the golf course (my wife, Jo… oh, forget it). Most women, so
they tell me, use those fancy, sunless tanning products to even things out, but it never quite comes off:
there’s always a line, be it ever so subtle, between the real and artificial tan. Not only that, they (the tanning
products) can be a real pain to use, and it seems one never quite knows when to apply another coat. This…
may be the final solution, and it makes a really unique gift:

The Tootsie Tanner was developed as a convenient mini foot tanning bed that can be used in the comfort of
your own home. If you play golf, tennis, jog or participate in any outdoor activity, there is an unattractive
result: The Dreaded Sock Line!

With the Tootsie Tanner, you can attain a seamless tan from your legs all the way down to your tootsies.
You can not control the amount of UVB (burning rays) from natural sunlight. This unit controls both the
UVA/UVB ratio and your exposure time.

Your investment: $199.95

85
Summer is officially on the horizon, are you ready? Mentally, of course!
Aren’t we all? But what about your skin? Most of us have lived in pants and
sweater for months now; is your skin looking fresh and summer-ready? The
chances are good that your skin needs a little TLC before you are ready to pull
out the summer clothing.

Knock of each step on my skin care tips for glowing skin and you’ll be ready
to pull out your favorite summer dress in no time flat.

1. Exfoliate Your Body

It’s so very important to exfoliate your skin. Your body sheds skin cells at an
amazing rate every minute of every day. If you don’t get rid of them, they’ll
just sitting on your skin making you look dull and dry. No matter how much
lotion you use, you’re never going to have glowing skin if you don’t exfoliate.
Grab a body scrub and hit the shower. Gently rub your exfoliator in circular
movements on your entire body from the shoulders down (you’ll want a facial
exfoliator for your face and neck) and rinse clean. Continue to do this 2-3
times a week for year-round beautiful skin.

2. Shave the Right Way

I won’t ask for a show of hands; you know who you are. In the winter, what is
the point of keeping your legs religiously shaved daily when you know your
legs will never see the light of day? Those lazy days of winter are over. Find a
good razor that won’t cause razor burn. I’m a fan of Gilette’s Mach III. When
picking out a shaving cream, don’t choose the $1.00 mens cream; a shaving
lotion is much better for your skin as it will hydrate and help ward off nicks
and cuts. In a pinch? Use your conditioner for a moisturizing shaving cream.

3. Hydrate your Body with a Summer-Scented Lotion

Find a summery lotion that you won’t forget to put on. It’s time to pack away
your thick winter body butters for more light summery lotions. You don’t
have time to wait for your lotion to sink in, so look for something light fast
absorbing. Gels and Purees are perfect fast absorbers. I personally love to
break out the coconut or mango scented lotion for summer. Nothing spells
summer more than a light refreshing fruity lotion. Make sure you apply right
after you dry off from your shower. You need to seal in the moisture your body
just soaked in.
4. Get a Safe Summer Glow

Add a summery glow with a self tanner. You have so many choices when
it comes to adding a little summer tint to your skin, and the tanning bed
shouldn’t be one of them. Using a sunless tanner will give your skin a beautiful
start to summer. Even if you’re not a fan of sunless tanners all over your body,
you can happily use them on your face. If you alternate your facial moisturizer
with one that builds a bit of color, you’ll have a healthy glow that will make it
look as though you just spent the weekend on the beach. Most facial tanners
build color gradually, by alternating with your regular moisturizer, you’ll
never get too dark.

86
5. Don’t Forget your Feet
Winter boots have long since been packed away; it’s sandal season ladies.
Either go and get a pedicure (try a beauty school if cost is a factor), or
give yourself an at-home pedicure. You scrub off the dead dry skin to
reveal your sandal ready feet. Nothing is worse than seeing dull dry feet
inside cute sandals. It doesn’t have to be a big ordeal. Keep a foot scrub
and file in your shower and scrub your feet a few times a week. You’ll
notice a big difference in the softness of your feet.

6. Find a New Bold Summer Polish

Buy a bold new polish for your toes. Toe nails can be painted a much
bolder color than you would usually put on your fingernails. Pick out
something that screams summer. Polish tends to stay on your toes much
longer than your hands because you don’t abuse your toe nails like you do
your finger nails. Apply a clear base coat, two applications of color and a
clear top coat to protect. Go barefoot or put on your flip-flops for at least a
couple hours to make sure your polish won’t dent.

7. Out With the Old - Buy a New Sunscreen

Throw away last year’s unused sunscreen for a new bottle. Sunscreens
aren’t meant to last forever, and seeing most people don’t use as much as
they should, I bet you have a bottle or two stored away. Be safe and pick
up a new one. And don’t forget the most important sunscreen advice: USE
IT. You should be using a shot glass full for your body, and a full teaspoon
just on your face. Reapply every 1-2 hours that you are in the sun to
ensure a summer full of safe sun fun.

Top Self Tanner Splurges and Steals

1. Lancome Flash Bronzer Mousse(Splurge)

Lancome is one of the best lines for a great self tanner. Their Flash Bronzer comes in a variety of textures, but I found
the mousse to work very well. The color of the bronzing tanner is very good, so you can see where you are applying it,
and it dries to a very nice sun-kissed look. They also add pure vitamin E, to help protect your skin from prematurely
aging.

2. Jergens Natural Glow Daily Moisturizer(Steal)

This is a great product for those that need to either slowly make their way into a self tanner, or those that need a little
pick-me-up in between regular self tanning applications. Jergens did well with this one, since it is also a moisturizer as
well and the self tanning aspect is very minimal, so you don’t end up super tan or orange. This is available in a variety
of shades, as well as multiple formulations to fit your needs.

87
3. Mystic Tan Perfect Tan Kit (Splurge)

A definite must-have self tanner splurge. If you have tried other self tanner sprays and didn’t like how they
looked streaky or blotchy, then you should give Mystic Tan a shot. Their micromist spray actually goes on without
streaking, doesn’t require rubbing, and dries very quickly. The end result is a great natural-looking deep tan, that
looks like you just got back from the beach.

4. Fake Bake Self Tanning Lotion(Splurge)

This is a great product to use if you are looking for a more medium to dark tan. If you are really pale, then I
would recommend using this as upkeep on your self tanning, or try diluting it with a little regular body lotion. The
outcome of this tan gives you the appearance of being at the beach for a week. The downside: it takes about an
hour to dry. The upside: the color looks very natural and toasty brown, so your co-workers will think you jetted off
to the Virgin Islands for the weekend.

5. L’Oreal Sublime Glow Daily Moisturizer(Steal)

Another product that is similar to Jergens Natural Glow, but a little better in some areas. The fragrance is a little
better than Jergens and over all it gives a little better color. The product dries quickly, leaves your skin feeling nice,
and the color lasts for about a week. The price point is a little more than Jergens and you only get to choose fair or
medium shades.

6. Clarins Self Tanning Milk(Splurge)

Clarins is one of the other top lines for a great self tanner. They offer a very wide variety of sun care and self
tanners. The Self Tanning Milk is great if you are used to self tanning and don’t need the built in bronzer to guide
you. The product has a nice scent, moisturizes your body, dries quickly, and the tan that develops is very natural.
As a bonus it also has a low SPF built in, which not all self tanners have.

88
Some Do’s and Don’ts about using Sunbeds
Important Notes on Tanning:
• Always wear goggles
• Leave 48 hours between tanning sessions
• If your skin tingles or goes pink you should reduce your times; this is over
exposure (erythyma), and should always be avoided
• If the sunbed has new tubes (up to 50hours), reduce your time by 20%

Do Not tan if you:

• You are 15 years of age or under
• You are between 16 and 18 years of age without parental consent
• You have a history of skin cancer
• You have ever suffered from an abnormal reaction, or allergy to sunlight
• You have fair skin that always burns (erythyma), and never tans (Skin Type 1)
• You are on medication that reacts to sunlight (if unsure, consult your Doctor
first)
• You don’t know your Skin Type and haven’t completed a Client Consent Form
at sunbed facility
If you have doubts on whether you are at risk from using a sunbed - consult your
Doctor first)

89
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BEACH PINK

BEACH ORANGE

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X OVER PINK

BIRD YELLOW

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CSP LIME

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LINFLOWER

95
Bathing
Through The Ages
96
Despite the constant march of civilisation, some things will never
change. One of these is the stress and anguish that surrounds an
individual’s choice of bathing attire.
Also known as ‘cossies’ in Australia, ‘togs’ in the UK and Ireland,
and ‘swimming trunks’ in the USA1, swimsuits have taken many
forms; the appropriate amount and location of skin to show has
occupied the minds of many throughout the ages. This Entry details
some of the significant events in the history of the swimsuit.

Early Swimsuits
Swimming has been practised by many cultures all over the world
for thousands of years. But the swimsuit itself, as a piece of attire
designed specifically for bathing, has a far more recent pedigree.
It was almost certainly first popularised in ancient Greece and
Rome, due to the rising popularity of public bathing amongst more
well-to-do citizens. While nude bathing was perfectly acceptable in
societies such as Athens, swimsuits were common amongst men and
women. Some surviving artwork indicates that women sometimes
wore a two-piece outfit that is reminiscent of today’s bikini.

Puritanism, Bathing Machines and Health Spas

After the Roman Empire fell2, the refined and decadent civilisation
that had allowed for the popularisation of public bathhouses was
gone. In its place came the Dark and Middle Ages and the rise of
more prudish (predominantly Christian) ideas of propriety.
In fact, from this point the history of the swimsuit enters a long
era of stasis - it wasn’t until the 18th Century that public bathing
and the swimsuit became popular again. As it had been in Rome,
public bathhouses were the exclusive domain of the wealthy elite
in Europe. Those who could afford the new craze of ‘taking the
waters’ at health spas in places such as Bath in England required
new swimwear to do so, and the styles had changed.
During the 18th and 19th Centuries the demands of propriety
were still very strict, despite the spas being segregated by gender.
Most wore woollen swimming costumes when swimming. Wool was
useful because it doesn’t become see-through when wet (although
it does cling, hugs the body and feels horrible to wear). Women
wore stockings and swimsuits rather like skirts or dresses, with the
dress ends sometimes weighed down to stop them rising up upon
entering the water. Men wore a woollen leotard-type arrangement
that showed arms and the lower leg, but showing the chest was still
considered unseemly.
By the late 19th Century, seaside holidays were becoming more
popular as train travel to coastal villages improved in the USA
and UK. Bathing machines, first trialled at health spas, were
popularised here. They were somewhat like mobile changing rooms
mounted in a carriage-type arrangement - women were ferried
to the edge of the water so that nobody would see them in their
swimming costumes.

97
 Victorian Swimwear

Once the railway arrived in Britain the masses visited the

seaside regularly and it spawned a need for new fashions.
In the early Victorian era women had worn serge or dark
flannel bathing dresses, but by the 1860s two piece belted
costumes replaced the earlier styles.

The swimwear bodice top was jacket like and the swim-
suit bottom part three quarter trousers which had been
rejected only a decade earlier when Amelia Bloomer urged
women to adopt them.
The later Victorian swimsuit outfit was still cumbersome,
but was more practical and more attractive than earlier
bathing clothes.
Although the trouser was acceptable as Victorian beach-
wear it did not enter mainstream fashion until the 1920s
when trousers were accepted after practical wear in the
Great War of 1914-18.

Late Victorian Swimwear

Even when bloomers were accepted by many late Victori-

ans as cycling wear in the 1890s they still remained only
on the fringes of fashions of the day.

Swimwear fashion changes moved very slowly. Differences

in swimsuit styles were simple such as the introduction of
short cap sleeves. Eventually sleeveless styles with more
ankle showing beneath the bloomers became usual.

Edwardian Swimsuits

Edwardian Swimsuits were very similar to Victorian styles.

They were still made of wool and now consisted of bloom-
ers and a wool over dress.

The dress was now a sleeveless version and the outfit was
worn with black stockings and laced footwear.

Gradually by 1920 necklines were lowered and the over-

dress shortened even more.

98
In 1905 a ladys bathing suit was made of ten yards
of material. In 1945 it is made from one. Between
these two statistics and these two dates lie a social
revolution and an annually expanding area of bare
flesh. The revolution has made it quite permissible
for even the most proper women to appear on public
beaches in costumes which used to be seen only in
the rowdiest cabarets.

Prime mover of the revolution was Annette

Kellerman, the first famous woman swimmer. In 1910
Miss Kellerman became more famous by discarding
the ruffles and heavy corset that went with bathing
dresses and appearing unabashed in a tight, one-
piece suit. This set a pattern for the Mack Sennett
girls and the Atlantic City bathing beauties, who
found that scanty suits could bring fame and fortune.
Then in 1926 Gertrude Ederle wore only brassiere
and shorts to swim the English Channel. her brief
costume was chosen for athletic reasons but it gave
a great many non athletic women an idea. The
U.S. took up the cult of sun bathing. Nudity was
acclaimed as the secret of good health. It was easy
to rationalize, though not to prove, that the more
bodily area exposed and tanned each summer, the
fewer colds next winter.

Since 1930 U.S. bathing suit manufacturers have

made more money by cutting something more off
their suits each year. Neither sermons nor ordinances
nor arrests have slowed the steady progress from
bloomers to one piece suit to bra and diaper pants, a
progress recorded int he following images in a series
of suits modeled by Pamela Randell. But in 1945 both
maker and wearer are at the end of their rope; there
is - or seems to be- nothing more to cut off.

99
The 20th Century
One, Two, Three, Four, Tell the People What She
Wore
In 1907, something scandalous occurred. Australian
swimmer Annette Kellerman wore a revolutionary
new one-piece bathing suit (revealing her legs and
arms) to a swimming demonstration in Boston and
was promptly arrested. However, there was no
stopping the one-piece, and over the next twenty
years it became the norm for women. This was aided
significantly by the advances in synthetic fabrics
(most notably the development of Lycra), which
allowed swimsuit designers to dispense with their
reliance on wool as a raw material.
In 1946 another seismic shift occurred as fashion
designer Louis Reard presented the bikini - based on
South American tribal costumes and named after the
South Pacific atoll3. When it was initially conceived
none of Reard’s usual models would agree to wear it.
Society reacted in horror, and the bikini was initially
banned by conservative Catholic countries. It didn’t
become acceptable to wear one until well into the
1950s, even though by today’s standards the first
bikini had more skin coverage than contemporary
designs.
Apart from the gradual increase in permissiveness
throughout the 20th Century, arguably it was two
other factors that helped to bring the bikini into
the mainstream. One was Brian Hyland’s chart-
topping song ‘Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka
Dot Bikini’, which was released in 1960. The other
was the increasing prominence of swimsuit glamour
modelling - Sports Illustrated magazine being one of
the pioneers in this area with its legendary swimsuit
issues.
Other post-bikini innovations regarding the female
swimsuit include flirtations with the topless
‘Monokini’ (which society doesn’t appear to be ready
for quite yet) and the Brazil-led popularisation

100
Friends Don’t Let Friends Wear Speedos
During the early 20th Century, men’s bathing suits
shorts got progressively shorter. A specialised swimsuit
company called Speedo formed in 1928 in Australia
and Speedos rapidly became the generic term for Y-
front brief swimsuits for men.
However, this wasn’t the end of the shorts/Y-fronts
debate. The popularisation of surfing and surfing
culture saw the popularity of shorts (re-christened
‘board shorts’) rise again. This was coupled with an
increasing recognition that just because you can show
as much skin as society will let you get away with, it’s
not always attractive - the popularity of Speedos on
the beach decreased accordingly4. Taste crimes were
not limited to Speedos, however, as the 1980s fashion
of wearing Bermuda shorts5 makes clear.
Faster, Faster!
Swimwear is also an important factor in competitive
swimming, and in hindsight it appears surprising that
innovations lagged so far behind society in men’s
swimming costumes; it wasn’t until 1936 that the
first bare-chested male swimmers turned up at the
Olympics. Quickly, however, ‘Speedos’ became the
norm in the pool for men, and variations on the one-
piece the norm for women6 - and shaven legs for both
genders.
This remained the status quo until new futuristic
bodysuits made their debut at the 2000 Sydney
Olympics. Made of new and different synthetic
fibres, the suits became available to elite swimmers,
accompanied by claims that they produce less
drag than shaved human skin. They remain a very
expensive option, so the most sophisticated models
are unlikely to be seen down at the local baths any
time soon.
The Future
No doubt fashions will come and go, and who knows
what the future will hold? Will we all end up bathing
in the nude7, or will the depletion of the ozone layer
force a return to full coverage to prevent sunburn?
Only time will tell.

101
 PICTURE
Go on, be a ....

E R
N N
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SPORT
COMPETITION
102
Congratulations

Jessi
103
104
 4 THINGS YOU PROBABLY NEVER KNEW YOUR MOBILE PHONE COULD DO
There are a few things that can be done in times of grave emergencies.
Your mobile phone can actually be a life saver or an emergency tool for survival.
Check out the things that you can do with it:
FIRST
Emergency
The Emergency Number worldwide for Mobile is 112.

If you find yourself out of the coverage area of your mobile; network and there is an emergency, dial 112 and the
mobile will search any existing network to establish the emergency number for you, and interestingly this number
112 can be dialled even if the keypad is locked.
SECOND
Have you locked your keys in the car? Does your car have remote keyless entry? This may come in handy some-
day. Good reason to own a cell phone: If you lock your keys in the car and the spare keys are at home, call some-
one at home on their mobile phone from your cell phone.
Hold your cell phone about a foot from your car door and have the person at your home press the unlock button,
holding it near the mobile phone on their end.
Your car will unlock.
Saves someone from having to drive your keys to you.
Distance is no object. You could be hundreds of miles away, and if you can reach someone who has the other ‘re-
mote’ for your car, you can unlock the doors (or the trunk).
THIRD
Hidden Battery Power
Imagine your mobile battery is very low.
To activate, press the keys*3370# Your mobile will restart with this reserve and the instrument will show a 50%
increase in battery.
This reserve will get charged when you charge your mobile next time.
FOURTH
How to disable a STOLEN mobile phone? To check your Mobile phone’s serial number, key in the following
digits on your phone: * # 0 6 #
A 15 digit code will appear on the screen. This number is unique to your handset.
Write it down and keep it somewhere safe. When your phone get stolen, you can phone your service provider and
give them this code. They will then be able to block your handset so even if the thief changes the SIM card, your
phone will be totally useless. You probably won’t get your phone back, but at least you know that whoever stole it
can’t use/sell it either. If everybody does this, there would be no point in people stealing mobile phones.
ATM - PIN Number Reversal -Good to Know If you should ever be forced by a robber to withdraw money from
an ATM machine, you can notify the police by entering your PIN # in reverse. For example, if your pin number is
1234,then you would put in 4321. The ATM system recognizes that your PIN number is backwards from the ATM
card you placed in the machine. The machine will still give you the money you requested, but unknown to the
robber, the police will be immediately dispatched to the location. This information was recently broadcast on CTV
by Crime Stoppers however it is seldom used because people just don’t know about it. Please pass this along to
everyone. This is the kind of information people don’t mind receiving, so pass it on to your family and friends

105
Transgender
6 0
A History

1 8
NO
1

1 9
9

19
72
4
3

106
 Thought Transgenderism
ad was a recent phenomenon?
Well think again, far back
54 in the mists of time our

OW
fore-fathers were already
carrying the torch!

6 7
CB7
9

38
Part Three
107
1992 -- Nancy Jean Burkholter is ejected from the Michigan Womyn’s Festival by
transphobic festival organizers. The festival’s policy is that the particularity of
“womyn-born-womyn (WBW) experience comes from being born and raised in a female body.
The following year, Camp Trans would be set up outside the entrance to the gate in pro-
test of this policy -- and continued three years following.

1993 -- Cheryl Chase founds the Intersex Society of North America (ISNA).
“March on Washington for Lesbian, Gay and Bi Equal Rights and Liberation” organizers
include bisexuals, but refuse to include transgender in the name of the march, despite
months of work to try to get inclusion.
Trans activists working for many years with gay and lesbian activists successfully
pass an anti-discrimination law in the State of Minnesota, protecting transsexual and
transgendered people along with gays and lesbians. This is the first instance of inclu-
sion in the U.S. despite the number of human rights motions since the 1970s to protect
rights based on sexual orientation.
Brandon Teena is raped and later murdered by members of his circle of friends, when
they discover his female genitalia. The story is later retold with an Oscar-winning
performance in the movie, Boys Don’t Cry.
Anthony Summers publishes Official and Confidential: The Secret Life of J. Edgar Hoo-
ver, in which the rumor that Hoover was a transvestite is finally put into print. In
the book, a Mrs. Susan Rosenstiel alleged that in 1958 she and her husband met Hoover
and McCarthy lawyer Roy Cohn, both in drag. Several writers since have strongly dis-
credited Mrs. Rosenstiel, and it is most likely that Hoover’s crossdressing is merely
an urban legend. He may have been gay, however, as some (possibly circumstantial) in-
formation about he and right-hand man Clyde Tolson is more creditable.

1994 -- Transgender activists protest exclusion

from Stonewall25 celebrations and The Gay Games
in New York City. The Gay Games later rescinds
rules that require “documented completion of sex
change” before allowing transgendered individuals
to compete.
Several cities on the west coast of the U.S. pass
anti-discrimination statues protecting transsexual
and transgendered people.
Hijras in India are given the right to vote. Within
5 years, a hijra will be elected as a Member of
Parliament. Hijras are third-gender persons, usu-
ally male or intersex in origin, and living as fe-
male. Estimates range between 50,000 and 5,000,000
hijras currently living in the Indian subcontinent
alone. Although early English writings referred to
them as eunuchs, not all undergo castration. Hijras
are limited by caste, must train under a teacher,
and are considered low class. Violence against hi-
jras is common, and the authorities continnue to be
slow to do anything about the problem.

108
 Mid-1990s -- Prominent and respected lesbian writer, activist and
therapist Pat (now Patrick) Califia comes out as a transman, and
begins his transition to male. The lesbian community largely rejects
Califia as a consequence, although there are pockets that still show
support. Regardless, Califia’s writings still strike a chord with
many of the alternative lifestyle communities.

1995 -- Transsexual activists protest Oregon’s Right to Privacy (now

known as “Right to Pride”) political action committee to cease us-
ing Alan Hart’s old name as an award given out to lesbian activists.
Over the following years, some of his legacy would be regained by
the transgender community, and his preferred male name would regain
recognition.
Tyra Hunter dies following a traffic accident in Washington, D.C.
Her injuries should have been minor, but when the responding EMT
team (a crew of D.C. firefighters) arrives on the scene, cut away
her clothing and discover her genitalia, and then withdraw medical
care, uttering epithets and taunting her as she bleeds. When she is
finally taken to D.C. General Hospital, she is also given inadequate
care and dies from blood loss. In 1998, a jury awards Tyra’s mother
$2,873,000 after finding the District of Columbia (via both the EMTs
and Hospital) guilty of negligence and malpractice. Several activist
groups form in her memory.
Georgina Beyer becomes New Zealand’s (and the World’s) first trans-
sexual Mayor of Carterton, where she remained until 2000 (see 1999
entry below).
The Triangle Program opens in Toronto, Ontario, Canada, designed for
GLBT students at risk of dropping out or committing suicide because
of homophobia in regular schools.

1996 -- JoAnna McNamera of It’s Time Oregon successfully convinces

Oregon’s Bureau of Labor and Industry (BOLI) that transsexuals are
protected under existing Oregon labor law dealing with discrimination
of people with disabilities and medical conditions. This made Oregon
the third state to extend employment protection to transgendered peo-
ple, following Minnesota and Nebraska.
Michael Alig is arrested for the murder of “Angel” Melendez over a
drug debt. The arrest draws national attention to the Club Kids, an
often-crossdressing troupe of wildly costumed teens in New York in the
late 1980s and early 1990s. The Club Kids fall from grace and eventu-
ally vanish. The story is later chronicled in James St. James’ mem-
oir, Disco Bloodbath, and in a movie and documentary, both entitled,
Party Monster. Of particular significance, the famous female imper-
sonator RuPaul was discovered during the Club Kids’ tour of the talk
show circuit, roughly around 1988, and then catapults to fame in a
music video for the B-52’s single, Love Shack.

109
1997 -- Milton Diamond and Dr. H. Keith Sigmundson publish a paper that ex-
pose John Money’s claims of success in the “John/Joan” case. Sigmundson is
David Reimer’s supervising psychiatrist at that time, and the two describe
Reimer’s literal quest to regain his manhood. Diamond goes on to found the
Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality.

1998 -- John Colapinto publishes As Nature Made Him: The

Boy Who Was Raised As A Girl, telling David Reimer’s sto-
ry in depth, on the heels of a pivotal Rolling Stone arti-
cle on the subject. Ongoing troubles would plague Reimer,
however, including divorce, the death of his twin brother,
family strain and more -- Reimer commits suicide in 2004.
Transgender activists once again protest exclusion from
The Gay Games in Amsterdam, this time with modified rules
from those previously rescinded in the last Games: that
competitors require documented completion of sex change or
two years on hormones before being able to compete. FTM
transman, photographer Loren Cameron drops out of competi-
tion in protest, but Israeli MTF singer Dana International
still performs at the Games’ festivities.
Japan allows the first legal gender reassignment surgery
(SRS) to be performed on an FTM transsexual.
Hayley Cropper, a transsexual character, first appears on
the popular British soap opera Coronation Street. It is
the second time that a transgendered character appears in
serialized television (the first was in Australia in 1973
-- see above), and the first time that the character is
kept on as a regular in the series (she had been origi-
nally planned to be written out of the show, and viewer
response pushed them to bring her back).
Nong Toom, a Thai kathoey (female-to-male transgendered
person) enters professional boxing, despite being on
hormones, and becomes a cross-dressing legend. She would
later go on to have SRS surgery, and her story is told in
the subtitled movie, Beautiful Boxer.

110
 1999 -- Since the Michigan Womyn’s Festival (a noteworthy and
popular lesbian community event) continues to exclude transwomen
and refuse to acknowledge them as being women, Camp Trans is re-
vived to protest. Initially, post-op MTF transsexuals are allowed
to attend, but confrontations occur. The exclusion and the protests
would continue annually.
In a Texas court, in Littleton vs. Prang, Christine Littleton (a
post-op MTF transsexual) loses her case against the doctor who she
contended negligently allowed her husband to die... because, as the
defense argues, even though her birth certificate has been amended
to denote “female,” it had originally read “male,” and since
same-sex marriage is not permitted in Texas, she was not legally
his widow or entitled to anything on behalf of his estate.
Dr. Scott Kerlin founds the DES Sons International Network, an
online support and advocacy group for children exposed to Di-
Ethyl Stilbestrol (DES) in utero, fighting the perception that DES
is strictly a womens’ health issue. When DES Sons is only a few
months old, a new member raises the issue that he had always felt
that he was a girl, and was, in fact, transsexual. This initiates
a flood of confessions about other members’ own gender identity
issues, and quickly becomes one of the dominant themes raised by
male children of DES births (although not all DES Sons experience
transgender leanings). DES Trans is later set up by Kerlin and Dr.
Dana Beyer as a seperate support group for this discussion.
Pvt. Barry Winchell is murdered by fellow soldiers, resparking a
questioning of the “don’t ask don’t tell” policy of the U.S.
Military. He is murdered because of allegations that arise from
his relationship with transwoman Calpernia Addams. Their story is
retold in the 2003 movie, Soldier’s Girl. Addams later starts the
TSroadmap website with Andrea James, and the two collaborate on
several projects to assist transwomen.
Mayor Georgina Beyer becomes New Zealand’s (and the World’s)
first transsexual Member of Parliament.
Robert Eads dies of ovarian cancer. A transman, Eads is denied
treatment by more than two dozen doctors out of fears that taking
him on as a patient might be an embarassment to their practice. His
story is told (in his own words) in the award-winning documentary,
Southern Comfort.

2000 -- The Transgender Pride flag is designed by Monica Helms, and is first shown
at a pride parade in Phoenix, Arizona, USA.

111
2001 -- Erin Lindsey begins producing Venus Envy, a popular ongoing webcomic
strip focusing on the life of Zo� Carter, a young transsexual girl living
in Salem, Pennsylvania.
Canadian cyclist Michelle Dumaresq enters the sport of downhill bike rac-
ing, six years after her SRS surgery. She would go on to win battles with
Cycling BC and the Canadian Cycling Association to compete, win the 2002
Canada Cup series, win the 2003 Canadian National Championships and score
additional victories. At the 2006 Canadian Nationals, a protest from one of
her competitors during the podium ceremonies would bring renewed attention
to Dumaresq’s participation in female sports: the boyfriend of second-place
finisher Danika Schroeter would jump up onto the podium and helped Schroeter
put on a t-shirt reading “100% Pure Woman Champ.”

2002 -- Gwen “Lida” Araujo is murdered by several partygoers, who

had discovered her male genitalia. The three men who were charged
alternately resorted to panic strategies during their defense, try-
ing to minimize (i.e. to a charge of “Manslaughter”) or legitimize
their actions because of their apparent shock at the discovery.
The International Olympic Committee amends policy to allow transexu-
als to compete as their reassigned gender if the surgery has taken
place at least two years prior to the competition and if the athlete
has been on a regimen of hormones equal to that of a person born to
the gender.
The Transgender Law Center is founded, and works toward protecting
and entrenching the rights of transgendered persons in California,
as well as assisting legal activists elsewhere.
Author and activist Leslie Feinberg publishes Transgender Libera-
tion: A Movement Whose Time Has Come. She would later publish the
well-known works Stone Butch Blues (1993), and Transgender Warriors:
Making History from Joan of Arc to Dennis Rodman (1996).
The Centurion, a modified form of metoidioplasty is introduced for
female-to-male transsexuals.

2003 -- Calpernia Addams and Andrea James found Deep Stealth Productions and TS
Roadmap, invaluable resources for transwomen. Deep Stealth produces video work
providing advice on voice therapy and makeup / presentation, and TS Roadmap
covers the entire spectrum of MTF transition, in free online written advice.
Jennifer Finney Boylan’s memoir, She’s Not There, becomes the first-known
best-selling work by a transgendered American.
In Lawrence v. Texas, the U.S. Supreme Court arrives at a 6-3 ruling that
strikes down the prohibition of homosexual sodomy in Texas, and declares that
such laws are unconstitutional. Several other states still have anti-sodomy
laws on the books, but they are now not as frequently enforced.

112
 2004 -- The Gender Recognition Act 2004 is passed in the U.K., allowing
transgendered persons to legally change their sex and have it recognized
for the purposes of marriage and other issues.
Dee Palmer (born David Palmer), former member of the rock band Jethro
Tull, comes out as an MTF transsexual. A former member of the group Toto
also comes out at around this time, but I’ve lost the reference.

2005 -- Although homosexuality had been delisted as a mental disorder in

1973, transgenderism is still listed in the DSM-IV. However, a new wave
of thinking has transsexuality and transgenderism linked to more biologi-
cal factors, such as DNA predisposition, or DES. Books of the time begin
to reflect this, including Deborah Rudacille’s The Riddle of Gender.

2006 -- The Gwen Araujo Justice for Victims Act becomes law. The bill, fueled by the
murder of Gwen Araujo and 2004 murder of Joel Robles (in which the defendant plea-
bargained his way down to a 4-month sentence), prevents defendants from using panic
strategies and potential biases against the victim to minimize their actions.
Dr. Ben Barres writes a highly-noted article in Nature refuting an earlier theory by
Lawrence Summers and others that there are fewer female scientists than male because
of a difference in “intrinsic aptitude.” In his paper, Barres notes the differences
in treatment of female scientists from male ones, drawing from his own experiences
in both genders.
One of the directors of the Matrix movies, formerly / currently known as Larry Wa-
chowski, is reported by Rolling Stone Magazine to be transitioning to female, in an
unflattering article. This website supports lifestyles that are practiced safely, re-
sponsibly, consensually and respectfully, and as Lana’s choice of partner is a known
proponent of those things, we support Lana’s choice -- and do not cast judgement on
those things that we don’t know the full story about.
Cult favorite TV-show, The L Word, introduces a female-to-male transsexual. Max
(Moira) is the first regularly-occurring FTM character in the history of television
*and* the first transgender character to transition during the course of a show. Ac-
tress Daniela Sea is no stranger to performing as male, but some trans activists take
issue with the series portrayal, saying that it is “based on the stereotype that
transmen are driven by and use testosterone as an excuse to become abusive, violent,
and over-sexualized” (Eli Green, PetitionSpot.com petition).
Chinese surgeons perform the world’s first penis transplant successfully (however,
the patient later has it removed at the request of his wife, who has psychological
objections), raising a question about the possibility of developing a similar option
for transmen. Such a development is still likely years away, however, because of the
need to find ways to deal with the differences in the underlying infrastructure.
The 2005 documentary, Screaming Queens: The Riot at Compton’s Cafeteria, written,
directed and produced by Victor Silverman and Dr. Susan Stryker, is awarded an EMMY�
for “Outstanding Achievement, Historical / Cultural Program.” The film gives life
to the early transgender (and wider GLBT) movement, and is one of the first true
transgender-exploring works to be recognized with a major award (previous trans-ish
recognition is profiled with Jessica Lange’s 1983 victory in Tootsie).

113
2007 -- The rock-star character of “Zarf,” who debuted on the soap opera All My Chil-
dren near the end of 2006, comes out as a male-to-female transsexual, Zoey. Although this
isn’t the first time a soap opera featured a transgendered character in a recurring role
(Coronation Street was the second; the first was Number 96), it is the first to feature an
MTF character in the beginning of her transition, and follow the process along (and second
only to The L Word to feature a transsexual throughout the process). (Rather than alienate
AMC’s viewers, Zoey appears to be re-energizing them).
40-year-old Chanda Musalman, who lives as both man and woman and has not had any GRS sur-
gery, is granted both male and female citizenship by Nepali authorities, in the first
known case of dual-gender recognition. It is unclear how this unique legal status will
play out in practice - for instance, how it will affect Chanda’s marriage rights.
The Supreme Court of Canada refuses to hear Kimberly Nixon v. Rape Relief, a case in which
the transwoman was dismissed from rape counselling because she was not born female (she
had been living as female several years and is legally female). Because it was refused at
that level, the B.C. Court of Appeal ruling against her still stands -- a ruling which
pointed out that transgender people are not currently protected by the Human Rights Char-
ter under either category of gender or sexual orientation.
A 12-year old in Vienna, Austria is thought to be the youngest person in the world to be-
gin a sex change procedure.
The city of Largo, Florida fires long-time City Manager Steve Stanton (the mayor and one
councilman vote in his defense), after he is outed during preparation to announce his
intention to undergo hormone treatment and start the process toward GRS surgery. This
launches a nationally-publicized court case, in which the City of Largo is revealed to
have operated counter to their own laws, which prohibit discrimination based on gender
identity. In order to save face, the City attempts to first claim that city employees had
lost faith in Stanton, and then (in the failure of that) dredge up performance issues, de-
spite their overwhelming support, praise and raises given to Stanton prior to the firing.
Spain passes the most progressive law regarding Gender Identity in the world, allowing for
the change of documented identity just by proving a medical treatment for two years, and a
medical or psychological certificate, proving a diagnosis of gender dysphoria -- not re-
quiring a GRS.
UCLA scientists find 54 genes that may explain the different organization of male and
female brains. They go on to state that “... gender identity likely will be explained by
some of the genes we discovered.”
In Fresno, California, Tony (Cinthia) Covarrubias runs for Prom King, supported by a state
law passed in 2000 protecting students’ ability to express their gender identity on cam-
pus. Covarrubias loses, but approximately one month later, her story lends a groundswell
of support when Johnny Vera runs for and wins the title of Prom Queen at Roosevelt High
School -- the first transgender person known to have won such an honor.
Dr. Russell Reid, a U.K. psychiatrist specializing in gender reassignment, is found guilty
in a medical community investigation of accusations that he inappropriately treated five
patients, allegedly fast-tracking them, in contradiction of established standards of care.
Although not the first time a doctor has been brought under fire or threat of legal action
for his work (some had even been sued by their transgender patients), the high-profile
case reopens major debates in the medical community about transsexuality and its treat-
ment. How the finding will affect the existing pace of the current diagnostic process is
as yet unknown.

114
The Future?

Well,
Thats for you to write..

115
 B
R
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D
A
L
COMPETITION Bridesmaid
116
VOTE #1 - Amanda

117
VOTE #1 - Vicki

118
 B
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A
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COMPETITION
Bride
119
120
VOTE #1 -
VOTE #2 - Tiffany

121
VOTE #3 - Gina

122
VOTE #4 - Kristen

123
VOTE #5 - Carollyn

124
VOTE #6 - Rachel

125
VOTE #7 - Traci

126
VOTE #8 - Vicki

127
VOTE #9 - BobbieJane

128
 B
R
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Mother of the
COMPETITION Bride
129
VOTE #1 - Carollyn

130
VOTE #2 - Lena

131
 VOTE #3 - Lorraine

132
VOTE #4 -Jezzi

133
CONGRATULATIONS TO
ALL MY FRIENDS WHO
WERE BORN IN THE
1930’s 1940’s, 50’s, 60’s and
early 70’s !

134
 First, we survived being born to mothers who
smoked and/or drank while they carried us and
lived in houses made of asbestos.
They took aspirin, ate blue cheese, raw egg
products, loads of bacon and processed meat,
tuna from a can, and didn‛t get tested for
diabetes or cervical cancer.

Then after that trauma, our baby cots were

covered with bright coloured lead-based
paints.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors
or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no
helmets or shoes, not to mention, the risks we took
hitchhiking.

As children, we would ride in cars with no seat

belts or air bags.

We drank water from the garden hose and

NOT from a bottle.

Take away food was limited to fish and chips, no

pizza shops, McDonalds , KFC, Subway or Nandos.

Even though all the shops closed at 6.00pm and

didn’t open on the weekends, somehow we didn’t
starve to death!

135
 We shared one soft drink with four friends,
from one bottle and NO ONE actually died
from this.

We could collect old drink bottles and cash them in

at the corner store and buy Toffees, Gobstoppers,
Bubble Gum and some bangers to blow up frogs
with.
We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter
and drank soft drinks with sugar in it, but we
weren‛t overweight because......

WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!!

We would leave home in the morning and play

all day, as long as we were back when the
streetlights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day. And we

were O.K.
We would spend hours building our go-carts
out of old prams and then ride down the hill,
only to find out we forgot the brakes. We built
tree houses and dens and played in river beds
with matchbox cars.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo Wii , X-

boxes, no video games at all, no 999 channels on
SKY ,

136
 no video/dvd films,
no mobile phones, no personal computers,
no Internet or Internet chat rooms..........WE
HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found
them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth

and there were no
Lawsuits from these accidents.

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the
worms did not live in us forever.

You could only buy Easter Eggs and Hot Cross Buns
at Easter time...

We were given air guns and catapults for our

10th birthdays,

We rode bikes or walked to a friend’s house

and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or
just yelled for them!

137
 Mum didn’t have to go to work to help dad make
ends meet!

RUGBY and CRICKET had tryouts and not everyone

made the team. Those who didn’t had to learn to
deal with disappointment. Imagine that!! Getting
into the team was based on
MERIT

Our teachers used to hit us with canes and gym

shoes and bully’salways ruled the playground at
school.

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the

law was unheard of.
They actually sided with the law!

Our parents didn’t invent stupid names for their kids

like ‘Kiora’ and ‘Blade’ and ‘Ridge’ and ‘Vanilla’
“And we never had a whole Mars bar until
1993”!!!

We had freedom, failure, success and

responsibility, and we learned HOW TO
DEAL WITH IT ALL !

138
 And YOU are one of
them!
CONGRATULATIONS!

PS -The big type is because your eyes

are not too good at your age anymore

139