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Premarital Sex - Positives and Negatives

"Is it ok to have premarital sex?" That is a common question among teens and
engaged couples. Perhaps you are in a relationship that is progressing in that
direction, but you're not sure what to do. In your mind, you are probably weighing
the pros and cons of premarital sex. On the positive side of the scale, there is
acceptance from your peers, hope for pleasure, and the fulfillment of sexual desires.
The negative side of the scale carries the weights of morals, fear of pregnancy or
disease, and guilt. How do these scales balance? What is the right decision? Let's
take a look at some of the facts.

Premarital Sex - Is it Moral?

Morality is a factor for many people when deciding whether or not to have
premarital sex. Is it a factor for you? After all, the messages we receive from most
TV shows and movies these days tells us "everyone is doing it." In light of today's
permissive attitude, your peers may think you're weird to even question it.

But maybe there is something inside you, like a voice in your head, that is making
you uncertain about whether or not sex before marriage is a right or wrong action.
Many people refer to this voice as their conscience. How can you know if your
"conscience" is right? People all around the world look to the Bible as a moral or
religious book, so let's see what it says about premarital sex.

The Bible refers to premarital sex as fornication. That's a word we don't hear much
these days, so what does it mean? Fornication is sexual intercourse between people
who are not married to each other. The only distinction the Bible makes between
premarital sex and adultery is that adultery involves married persons while
fornication involves those who are unmarried. Premarital sex is just as much of a sin
as adultery and all other forms of sexual immorality. They all involve having sexual
relations with someone you are not married to.

The Bible explains, "…The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord,
and the Lord for the body" (1 Corinthians 6:13). Verse 18 of this chapter goes on to
say, "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his
body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body." Galatians 5:19 speaks
the same, "The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity…"
Ephesians 5:3 says it most plainly, "But among you there must not be even a hint of
sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are
improper for God's holy people." From these verses, we see that the Bible promotes
complete and total abstinence from premarital sex.

Premarital Sex - Is it Safe Physically and Emotionally?

Another consideration when deciding about premarital sex is safety. Did you know
that 50% of the people who currently have HIV are between the ages of 15 and 24?
1 Using a condom only reduces the risk of contracting HIV by 85%. Condoms do not
significantly reduce the risk of contracting other sexually transmitted diseases.2
Take these statistics into consideration when making your decision.

Most people don't consider the emotional effects of premarital sex. You see, sex is
an emotional experience and it affects our lives in ways we don't understand. After
engaging in premarital sex, many people express feelings of guilt, embarrassment,
distrust, resentment, lack of respect, tension, and so much more. As you read the
next section, consider God's love for you as a primary reason for sexual purity. God
does not want you to experience unnecessary emotional pain!

Premarital Sex - Recreation or Re-creation?

In discussing premarital sex, we often focus on the "recreation" aspect of it. Yes,
sex is pleasurable. God, our Creator, designed it that way. It may be hard to think of
God creating sex, but He did! In God's plan, sex was designed for married couples
to enjoy the pleasure and excitement of sexual relations. The Bible talks about this
in Hebrews 13:4, "Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept
pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral." God created sex
to be fun, exciting, and pleasurable. At the same time, though, it is clear in the Bible
that God restricts sexual activity to married couples.

Why is this? Yes, sex is pleasurable, but in God's view, the primary purpose of sex is
not recreation, but rather re-creation. In other words, sex is for reproduction. God
does not limit sex to married couples to rob pleasure from those who are unmarried.
Rather, God commands against premarital sex in order to protect unmarried people
from unwanted pregnancies, from children born to parents who do not want them,
and to protect children from parents who are not prepared for them. Imagine, for a
moment, a world without premarital sex. There would be no sexually-transmitted
diseases, there would be no un-wed mothers, there would be no unwanted
pregnancies, there would be no abortions, etc. According to the Bible, abstinence is
God's only policy when it comes to premarital sex. Abstinence saves lives, protects
babies, gives sexual relations the proper value, and most importantly abstinence
honors God.


Premarital sex experience benefits us both physically and psychologically–

conducive to health, because of the urgent need, not towed until adulthood.
According to psychological studies, it shows that when the organs of our body
become mature because of hormone secretion. Psychologically, people will,
accordingly with the changes, have sexual desire, which is normal. If the desire
cannot be satisfied, it will affect people’s work, learning, and life.

However, it varies according to the different people – some are very strong, and
some are very weak. When people are with a strong desire, the so-called “sexual
energy”, they can temporarily alleviate the sexual energy produced by having sex,
which can give them a happy feeling, and a sense of achievement.


These days it seems few people are interested in waiting to have sex. The
prospect of waiting for marriage before having sex has become very rare. There are
many advantages to waiting and I hope to explore some of them in this article. Sex
is a personal choice and it’s important to remember it’s an emotional act as well as

The single biggest reason to wait for marriage to have sex is pregnancy.
Whatever anyone believes on premarital sex pregnancy outside wedlock is not
generally desirable. The use of birth control does reduce risk of unwanted
pregnancies. Its important to remember however that no birth control method is
100% effective. Abstinence is the only sure fire way to prevent pregnancy. I
understand that temptation is always there and some people simply can't wait, but
remember there is always a risk. In my opinion sex should only be had between two
people who are prepared to marry and support each other. Sex is a personal choice
but pregnancy is a consequence and should not be taken lightly.

Sex isn't just a physical act. By having sex with someone your body makes an
emotional connection remember sex is the greatest level of intimacy human beings
can experience. When two people have sex they are always connected emotionally.
I am of the opinion that the person to have that connection with should be the
person you spend the rest of your life with. I would certainly only want this kind of
connection with my wife.

Another big argument for waiting are STD'S and STI'S. The biggest risks is for
AIDS and although birth control are quite effective nothing is 100% effective. Aside
from AIDS there are plenty of uncomfortable and unpleasant infections and
diseases. Many of these have no cure. Typically these diseases are spread because
people sleep around. I would urge anyone to think long and hard about having sex
and be fully aware of the risks.