Eileen Cham

Writing Sample
Close Reading of a Text
Prompt:
During class, we spent some time talking about repetition and revision in Joyces Portrait. We attended
to moments in which Stephen revises his responses to himself and his world. Stephen uses particular
words, phrases, images, and then those elements reappear in a revised form either in the same
paragraph (even, on occasion, in the same sentence) or in a series of connected paragraphs or in
passages elsewhere in the text. Locate one instance of this repetition, and explain the significance of the
repetition and revision. Please do not use any passage(s) that we have discussed in class.

Response:
It pained him that he did not know well what politics meant and that he did not know
where the universe ended. He felt small and weak. When would he be like the fellows
in poetry and rhetoric? They had big voices and big boots and they studied
trigonometry. That was very far away. First came the vacation and then the next
term and then vacation again and then again another term and then again the
vacation. It was like a train going in and out of tunnels and that was like the noise of
the boys eating in the refectory when you opened and closed the flaps of the ears.
Term, vacation; tunnel, out; noise, stop. How far away it was! It was better to go to
bed to sleep. Only prayers in the chapel and then bed. He shivered and yawned. It
would be lovely in bed after the sheets got a bit hot. First they were so cold to get
into. He shivered to think how cold they were first. But then they got hot and then he
could sleep. It was lovely to be tired. He yawned again. Night prayers and then bed:
he shivered and wanted to yawn. It would be lovely in a few minutes. He felt a warm
glow creeping up from the cold shivering sheets, warmer and warmer till he felt
warm all over, ever so warm; ever so warm and yet he shivered a little and still
wanted to yawn.
James Joyce, Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man

I will examine the passage above, taken from James Joyces A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, for
its depiction of repetition and revision. This passage is found in the earlier part of the novel where the
young Stephen Dedalus is a student at the Clongowes Wood College. Prior to this passage he meditates
about God, after his Geography lesson prompts him to think about the Cosmos. He is then abruptly
reminded about the political discussions that his family has. He is frustrated by his weak grasp on these
1

issues, feels small and weak, and laments that adult achievements such as big boots, big voices
and trigonometry are very far away. He follows that adulthood is a long time away that it will be a
long succession of vacation*s+ and term*s+ before he achieves it. However, he lays out the sequence
of vacation*s+ and term*s+ not uniformly; each unit of vacation and term is revised.
First came the vacation

and then the next term

then the vacation again

and then again another term

then again the vacation.

Joyce has Dedalus revise each unit, even though in the end, the vocabulary in that sentence remains
limited. This shows that despite the limits of vocabulary (probably due to Dedalus young age) he already
has a keen sense of creativity and adventurousness with words. Another instance of revision happens a
few sentences later in term vacation; tunnel, out; noise, stop. What seems to be like incomplete
sentence fragments are revisions from longer, evocative sentences:
First came the vacation and It was like a train going in and that was like the noise of the
then the next term and then out of tunnels

boys eating in the refectory

vacation again and then again

when you opened and closed

another term and then again

the flaps of the ears.

the vacation.
Term, vacation;

tunnel, out;

noise, stop.

Also, he revises that was very far away into how far away it was! The same pattern of revision
occurs throughout the rest of the passage with these two other sets of vocabulary:
It was better to go to bed to sleep.

He shivered and yawned.

It would be lovely in bed after the sheets got a bit He shivered to think how cold they were first *+
hot.

He yawned again.

It was lovely to be tired.

He shivered and wanted to yawn.

It would be lovely in a few minutes.

ever so warm and yet he shivered a little and still

wanted to yawn.

Through these revisions we get a sense of young Dedalus excitement with words as he tinker around
with arrangements. He is still operating on a limited range of vocabulary, yet by revising sentence
structure, he downplays the repetitiveness of the reappearing words. Instead, the familiar elements that
keep reappearing in the passage contribute to an impression of a unified whole, of a singular stream of
consciousness narrated in the voice of a same person. However it also alludes to the claustrophobia of
the narrative of the entire text despite the acrobatic revisions, the vocabulary remains the same; we
are ultimately trapped by the narrative in Dedalus reality, with few glimpses of the reality beyond. The
revisions show us the activity of a creative mind; yet the repetitions betray the narrowness of such
activity for one who was lamenting about his lack of understanding of politics and the universe, it
seems strange that his preoccupations are centered on mundane sequences such as going to bed,
shivering and yawning.