Genesis 29:1; 9-35

The Girl Nobody Wanted1

Sermon preached Sept. 20, 2015
Introduction to Scripture
This is a pretty good gig I have, studying and teaching Gods word. Every week, I get to
dig into Gods word, study it, apply it to myself, pray over it and then tell you about it.
Ive preached through a lot of the Bible - and I think todays story is one of the most
powerful and poignant in the whole OT - Two words of warning - this is a PG-13 sermon,
but more imp. that you know - there is real pain in this story - and it may be painful to
study - there will be points in this sermon that may open old wounds or aggravate fresh
wounds - please, hang with me, there really is good news in the midst of all this mess.
Scripture Reading
Opening
A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the cab driver won't stop
staring at her. She asks him why he is staring. He replies: 'I have a question to ask, but I
don't want to offend you.'
She answers, ' My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a
nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I' m sure
that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.'
'Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.'
She responds, 'Well, let's see what we can do about that - but I have two conditions - 1)
you have to be single and 2) you must be Catholic.'
The cab driver is very excited and says, 'Yes, I'm single and Catholic!'
'OK' the nun says. 'Pull into the next alley.'
The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that leaves the cabbie breathless.
But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
'My dear child,' said the nun, why are you crying?'
'Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess I'm married and... I'm Jewish!!'
The nun says, 'That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party!'

Context
Quite a surprise, eh? Well, Jacob got a big surprise on the morning after his wedding
night
The backstory - Jacob steals the blessing from his father Isaac that should have gone to
his brother Esau, when Isaac died Jacob flees from his brother who wants to kill him,
goes about 300 miles north/northeast to where his mothers family is from, and ends up at
the tents of Uncle Laban
Jacob meets his match in Laban - as crooked and scheming as he is.
Laban has two daughters Leah and Rachel
Rachel a knock-out - how do we know?
Text tell us that she was lovely in form - means that she had a great figure - she
was sexually attractive; and narrator also tells us that she was beautiful to look at
Leah - contrast - the Hebrew text says she has weak eyes - not talking about sight; Leah
was nearsighted and kept tripping over things, needed a pair of glasses with thick lenses
that had not been invented yet - this did not mean how they looked (with their eyes), but
how they looked - in the eyes of others.
And this phrase is used as a contrast to Rachels beauty - Rachel was beautiful, but Leah
had weak eyes. So one daughter was a knockout, and one was an ugly duckling
The deception
When Jacob shows up at his camp, Uncle Laban wants to sign him to a contract, sees
abilitiy in him.
Jacob wants something too - he wants beautiful Rachel but hes penniless and cannot pay
the customary bride-price so he agrees to be basically an indentured servant for seven
years
And so Labans got him because Jacob has revealed what he really wants - violates first
rule of negotiation
Back then, you usually paid the brides family 40-50 shekels for her hand in
marriage; a worker made about 1.5 shekels a month, so by agreeing to work for
seven years, hes overpaid by a factor of three
The wedding feast, and night
So Jacob toils away and the narrator tells us seven years was just like a few days, so great
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was his love. Now thats a long engagement!

Finally, seven years are up, Jacob comes to Laban and says quite plainly, Times up, give
me my wife, I want to have sex with her.
Robert Alter - this has embarrassed commentators for centuries - middle-aged
rabbinnical scholars would try to tone it down - but thats what it says.
But Laban has a problem - and that problem, in his eyes, is Leah, and her eyes - for
Laban, everything comes down to making money, and maneuvering for advantage - and
he thinks, Leah - Im never going to marry her off, with how she looks - so he concocts a
scheme - sends Leah into the honeymoon tent where the marriage is consummated
Now this seems ludicrous to us - but in that culture not hard to imagine how this scheme
could work - women heavily veiled in that culture - and theres a big wedding party,
Jacob and everyone else are drinking and Jacob is hammered - its dark, no electric lights,
code of modesty...but next day text tells us, And in the morning - there was Leah!
The disappointment of Leah - we want to be loved
But lets think about this from Leahs standpoint. Leah, because of these deceiving men because of power of father over her - is thrown into hell - into a loveless marriage - even
worse - into a marriage where her husband was tricked into marrying her and doesnt
want her but wants her sister - whos right there - its in her face everyday
all because shes born not beautiful
what that means then and now
were so far beyond this primitive patriarchal culture- oh, really?
women judged on their looks just as much if not more than then
enormous pressure to be thin, to be attractive to - men - its not about
being satisfied with your own looks, its about thinking every single day,
do other people find me attractive? Not, am I a person of character, am I
intelligent, am I compassionate, but - am I attractive?
I would guess that every woman here is disappointed with something
about the way she looks.
And I would guess that some of you, have had doors close in your face
because you were deemed not attractive enough.
But notice that Leah goes along with her fathers scheme - she goes into the tent and
pretends to be Rachel and sleeps with Jacob - shes that desperate - can you imagine what
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that felt like?

And during the marriage - she keeps desperately hoping that husband will love her as she
bears him sons.
plaintive - Ive given me husband a son - now hell love me - can see these in the
names she gives them
Reuben - means Im seen
Simeon - means Im heard
Levi - means Im attached
every time a child comes along she thinks, now hell pay attention to me, maybe
even love me...
I find this heartbreaking - all the people who have thought this and said this
now that Ive gotten good grades, my mother will love me
now, if I make the football team, my father will love me
now, if I make some money and am a success, someone will love me...
now, if I lose some weight or get some surgery, someone will love me
Now, if I sleep with him or her, maybe theyll love me
Desperate for love
I read a column by a woman who had just returned to Northern California after serving as
a missionary in Central America:
While I waited for a friend at a coffee shop, I watched a woman in her late forties
flirt shamelessly with a young, good-looking firefighter. He was doctoring his
coffee with cream and sugar while she smiled and giggled, and twirled her hair,
bending to show him a little bit more of her aged and freckled cleavage. He
looked uncomfortable...I think we all looked uncomfortable - everyone in a fifteen
foot radius was squirming in awkward discomfort...I was taking in the whole
scene with inappropriate delight when another firefighter popped his head in the
door and told the guy to hurry up. The dude looked relieved and the Cougar
looked super bummed; like she was just about to ask him if she could feel his
biceps...and then a little girl, just 11 or 12 years old, walked up to the dejected
temptress. MOM! That was SO embarrassing!

And suddenly it wasn't really funny anymore. It was sad.

She looked ashamed. And lonely....This place is overflowing with people who
have full closets, full bank accounts, full bellies... and empty hearts.
Behind the facade of perfection (here)...past the (enhancements of plastic surgery,
the) fancy cars and fat paychecks, and at the bottom of aaalll thoooose wine
glasses, there's a need so desperate, a loneliness so great, and a brokenness so
crushing that you can practically hear the collective cry for Redemption. But the
beautiful thing to be found in all of that mess is that there's a Savior here, too, and
He's ready to fulfill his promises.2
Leah wants someone to love her - for who she is. And so do we.
because we know that if people love us for what we do for them, its not really
love - people have to love us for who we are
so Leah stands for everyone whos been desperate to be loved
Leahs ultimate consolation
You read the bible and you find that God is always siding with the Leahs of the world choosing them to be the instruments of blessing - text says When the Lord saw that Leah
was not loved, he came to her..
Where is gospel in this story? You see it in when Leah has her fourth son Judah - and she
stopped having children
Judahs name means I will praise the Lord - shows she stopped having children
to try to get her husband to love her, and said, despite the fact that my husband
does not love me, will not love me, I will praise the Lord, I will trust him and look
to him for love.
And here, she gets herself back. no longer dependent on a man to tell her what
her worth is - she gets it elsewhere - and she derives her worth from the One who
looks on her only with love
And God uses her for something far greater than her deepest desires - an ancestor of Jesus
Christ.
she - the ugly duckling, the loser, the one who could be married off only by
trickery - she and her son Judah, become ancestors of Jesus Christ, the fulfilment
of the promise made to Abraham

Our ultimate consolation

On Saturday there was a high school reunion in my hometown in New Jersey. I went to a
small high school so it was all the classes of the 70's, together. I didnt go. I had no
desire to go. High school was not a time I wish to relive.
But I did imagine what it would be like to go.
This week the organizers of the reunion posted a lot of pictures on Facebook of the event
and my old classmates. And looking at their pictures, I realized that I could go and acquit
myself pretty well. Ive kept most of my hair. I havent let myself go, in pretty good
shape. I married a beautiful women and have three great children and four grandchildren.
I dont think my old classmates would know what to do with me being a pastor, but it
might get me some grudging respect, at least. I do have a graduate degree. And I could
show pictures of Central with its great big steeple and pass myself off as an important
pastor of a big church!
Then maybe, the people who didnt respect me, would respect me now. Then maybe the
people who didnt like me, would crack open the door to liking me, would think Ive
become a decent person.
I guess, thats a male version of the old myth of the ugly duckling who becomes beautiful
and marries the prince - because she is beautiful.
But all that, is completely unnecessary for those who trust in Christ. And really - the
approval of other people doesnt finally satisfy us. Those who crave it are some of the
unhappiest people on earth, always at the mercy of the opinions of other people whom
they cant control.
Because, as Leah figured out, the Lord is our righteousness. That means through Christ
God looks at us as good and beautiful and useful and nothing, nothing can take that away.
And he throws us a party
Friday, I officiated at a wedding and afterwards there was a big party. Maybe you heard
about it. Erin Regan, our youth pastor and director of contemporary worship, married
Nickolas Adams on a beautiful day in the surprisingly beautiful setting of Delaware. And
afterwards there was a wonderful party with great food and music and dancing.
But I wonder what it was like for Leah to be at that wedding party that was allegedly for
the marriage of her beautiful sister to Jacob and knowing that she was a girl that nobody
wanted for their wife. That nobody was going to have a wedding party for her.
Well, there is a wedding party waiting for all those who trust Christ.
Jesus talks about it in Luke and in Matthew - and its not an idea he invented - its
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in Isaiah as well, chapter 25, and its in the last book of the Bible - Revelation the wedding feast of the Lamb its called - Jesus being the Lamb of God. And we
are betrothed to him.
And its so great - the Lord is trying to get through to us that he loves us so much
that when he brings the new creation, theres going to be a party to end all parties.
At wedding receptions now - we feast and drink champagne and dance badly to
the same songs - Celebrate, good times, come on! And you dont get invited because youre one of the pretty people, popular, good looking,
successful, funny - you get invited because you are loved and you have responded with
love - you have met love in Christ and you let that love wash over you and you say yes to
it, you love Christ back because he first loved you.
And how? Because Christ became ugly and despised for us. He went from popularity, to
complete rejection. And he died an ugly, shameful death and they laid him in a tomb to
rot. He was rejected and condemned so we could be accepted, forgiven and loved with
the love that birthed the universe, that powers the stars, that lasts forever.
The LORD is my righteousness and loves me. You and I have infinite worth and value,
in the sight of God
This is what sustains you when you have nothing else
This is what holds you up when life beats you down
And this is what gives you joy when you wake up in the morning. Amen.
Endnotes
1. The title and some of good stuff in this sermon came from a sermon of the same title written
by Timothy Keller of Redeemer Presbyterian Church.
2. Blog of Jamie the Very Worst Missionary, at http://www.theveryworstmissionary.com/, Oct.
14, 2012.