Having Sex Makes You a Terrorist

Imagine walking into your sexual education classroom in middle or high school and

hearing these statements coming from your teacher: "If you have sex, your penis will fall off and

land in another dimension populated entirely by dogs who will eat it.” Or the statement, “having

sex means you’re in Al-Qaeda.” In the episode of Family Guy, “Prick Up Your Ears,” these

precise words are spoken by the sexual education teacher at James Woods High School. In this

episode, the writers of this show explore the social concerns of teaching kids abstinence versus

safe sex in a school environment. The show takes the stand that safe sex is a much better

alternative to abstinence by making sarcastic, crude jokes and extreme exaggerations about

abstinence only teaching to show how stupid they believe it is.

Lois, the safe sex sexual education teacher, was replaced with a very stereotypical

preacher. Here, the writers sarcastically use the preacher as a means to show the propaganda of

sorts that the abstinence only teacher provides. He relates to them by using pop culture

references to connect to them such as claiming God likes The Matrix, and then by using a “God”

voice to tell them sex is bad and you shouldn’t have sex until marriage. All of the students are

told extreme lies, such as condoms fail 100% of the time and are unsafe. After hearing these

radical views, all of the children decide to become completely abstinent, completely blinded by

how “cool” it is, instead of searching for the reasons of being right or wrong.

In the next scene, the propaganda continues with a pamphlet they release to all the kids.

Meg gives Peter a pamphlet about sex, which directly states, "If you have sex, your penis will

fall off and land in another dimension populated entirely by dogs who will eat it.” Peter

promptly responds to this by pledging to be abstinent to avoid this fate. He learns that the

pamphlet says that having sex moves you down in the social ladder, which Peter quotes from
reading, “If a straight man has sex, he turns gay.” This propaganda, and the radical views noted

earlier, confirms, in a very radical way, their belief that abstinence education is based on many

falsehoods and uses propaganda to try and scare kids into not having sex.

Lois fights for safe sex teaching in the episode, bumping the preacher off stage,

giving a riveting speech to the students, claiming that every human being has natural urges, and

that if two people really have strong feelings for each other, it’s not completely wrong for them

to have sex. She stresses that if that is the case, you should be able to protect yourself by using a

condom, to which all the kids rejoice and claim that they will use condoms. This shows the basic

stand of the writer’s arguments for safe sex teaching.

This episode presents one of the most basic arguments in society today - how should we

teach kids about sex? In America, the most prevalent teaching is fully or partially abstinence-

based. This is mostly because America is a predominately Christian nation, even though

Judaism and Islam also reflect this teaching. Christian morality has been preaching abstinence

since the Middle Ages, and as this is the most prevalent religion, it is also the most prevalent

teaching. The Christian way teaches us that sex before marriage is a sin, and that you should

remain abstinent until marriage.

Janet Smith, a Christian writer on ethical issues, writes, “Let us focus on three

fundamental truths about sexuality stressed throughout the Christian tradition: that marriage is

the only proper arena for sexual activity; that marriages must be faithful for the love of spouses

to thrive; and that children are a great gift to parents. (Para 1, Three Truths)” This represents a

basic tenant for Christians. They believe sex is a deep commitment that can only be built through

marriage, even though she herself notices the cultural trend of increasing failed marriages.
 However, the cultural norms of this philosophy have changed over time. After World

War II, sexual freedom became a much bigger deal, and the social importance of abstinence

declined. The introduction of the first oral contraceptive pill suppressed many consequences of

free sexual behavior and social morals began to change. The hippie movement was also a huge

turning point in sexual freedom, as “free love” became a staple of the hippie lifestyle. By the

1970s, abandonment of premarital abstinence was no longer taboo in the majority of western

societies. It was actually beginning to almost reverse; the fact that members of both sexes would

have experienced a number of sexual partners before marriage was considered normal. Some

cultural groups continued to place a value on the moral purity of an abstainer, but abstinence was

caught up in a wider reevaluation of moral values.

This change in moral views over time has escalated into a fierce debate into today’s

modern world. Abstinence is making a comeback due to the prevalence of AIDS and

pregnancies. "Changes in Formal Sex Education: 1995-2002" reports 23% of secondary school

sex education teachers taught abstinence only in 1998, where only a mere 2% did so in 1988

(187). This is shown in the episode by the resiliency of the parents to protest against Lois’s safe

sex teachings at James Woods High. If set possibly a decade before, the parents may not have

been protesting, but as abstinence is making a comeback and more parents push for it, many

PTAs across America may get involved just like in the show. Federal aid is also pushing

abstinence only education programs, where teaching about the use of contraceptives in

prohibited. These programs have not shown any positive change of an abstinence only

education.

The government also continues to try and contribute to abstinence programs, even to

people over the age of 20. During the Bush administration, a federal program was set up to
target 20-29 year olds, due to the high amount of unmarried pregnancies in that age range. In the

article “Unmarried and age 29? Abstinence is best, government says," James Wagoner says it

best: "To be preaching at these adults a message of abstinence-only is absurd because it simply

won't work. They've stepped over the line of common sense. (para. 5)" The CDC stated 90% of

adults age 20-29 have had sexual intercourse, proving Wagoner’s thoughts that abstinence only

education for those who have already had sexual intercourse does not work (para 6). It’s like

trying to tell Mark McGwire that he should abstain from steroids not to ruin his baseball career;

it’s just a little too late and ineffective.

This translates to teens as well. Janet Smith writes that six out of ten teenagers are

sexually active (para. 1). Since the majority of these teens are also sexually active, it makes no

sense to preach to them abstinence when they are already having sex. Instead they should be

equipped with the knowledge of safe sex practices, while knowing the risks associated with sex.

One other major point for supporters of abstinence is the fact that without having sex, you

cannot get pregnant or transfer STDs. While the first may be true, the second is not. Some

STDs can be transmitted by skin-to-skin contact, and neither abstinence and safe sex can protect

you from them. In society, teenagers will often claim to be abstinent, but still explore sexual

opportunity through other ways that is not vaginal intercourse. This is represented in the episode

by the emergence of “ear sex.” It is labeled as the hip new thing to do to explore your sexuality

but to remain abstinent. It seems very silly that people would do this, but it attempts to show that

in real life, claiming abstinence but still doing other sexual acts is quite silly as well. Cynthia

Dailiard reports that one study states that 55 percent of college students claiming abstinence had,

indeed, performed oral sex (para. 9). Oral sex is the real life version of Family Guy’s “ear sex”

where kids perform another sort of sexual act but continue to remain “abstinent.” Oral sex can
also transmit several STDs, so if this definition olds true, being abstinent alone cannot fully

prevent STDs.

Dailiard also reports that over 60% of college students who had pledged virginity in

middle or high school broke their vow to remain abstinent until marriage (para. 7). If 60% of the

students who were affected by abstinence teaching failed, then something is either wrong with

the teaching being done, or the students also need to be taught the facts. That fact is so little

known to the students of an abstinence only education, and they deserved to be told. People

deserve to have consistent and accurate information about the effectiveness of all contraceptive

methods. If a success rate such as 100% is given for abstinence, they should also be told the

success rate for condoms. Most abstinence teachers also attack the failure rate of condoms but

never give a failure rate for those who have chosen to abstain until marriage. These rates should

be used in conjunction with one another, that way those who wish to abstain can and everyone

has a basic education of sexual practices and how to reduce the risks of sex, so that nobody

walks blindly into a life-changing situation.

Family Guy expresses these ideas through many cultural referenced and over the top

characters to keep the audience engaged through humor, while at the same time promoting social

awareness of ethical problems. In this episode, viewers are contained within the story and humor

during the show, but the writers successfully convey their views through the story and humor.

This leaves the viewers watching for comedic entertainment, but after the episode is complete

developing a moral viewpoint of their own for the sexual education debate.

The changing moral ideals, the high failure rate of abstinence, and the high rate of sexual

activity in teenagers show that they need education. Safe sex is needed for this generation. As

most teenagers are already participating in sexual activities, they need to be prepared for the risks
and shown the proper ways to avoid such risks while being given the straight facts. Telling

someone not to do something usually isn’t effective and leaves them less prepared than if you

educated them about the topic. As shown through this episode of Family Guy, abstinence only

education is filled with propaganda. It exaggerates the risks of sexual behavior through fear

tactics of pregnancy and STDs. Having sex will not make you a member of Al-Qaeda.

Adolescents are exploring their sexual nature in this generation, taught abstinence only or not,

and equipping them with the tools to have safe sex rather than giving them nothing at all is well

worth it.

References:

"Changes in Formal Sex Education: 1995-2002." Perspectives on Sexual & Reproductive Health

38.4 (2006): 182-189.

Dailard, Cynthia. "Understanding 'Abstinence': Implications for Individuals, Programs and

Policies." Web. 3 Mar 2010. <http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/tgr/06/5/gr060504.html>.

“Prick Up Your Ears”. Family Guy. By Cherry Chevapravatdumrong. Family Guy. FOX. 19 Nov

2006.

Smith, Janet. "The Christian View of Sex: A Time for Apologetics, not Apologies." The

Rockford Institute, May 1996. Web. 11 Mar 2010.

http://www.catholiceducation.org/articles/sexuality/se0004.html.
"Unmarried and age 29? Abstinence is best, government says." Contemporary Sexuality 41.1

(2007): 8.