Coaching in

a nutshell

87
Winning
Strategies for a
Successful Life
by
Sheila Holt

Introduction
Are you living your ideal life? Do you
have the things you desire? Is your life
totally successful and fulfilled in every
context? If the answer is NO and you
want to change that, then follow some
of the ideas in this tips booklet and
notice how they enhance your life.

The strategies, tips and techniques in

this booklet will benefit you in the
following ways:
You will be able to learn things faster.
You will have more time in your life.
You will be more positive and take
more action.
You will have a plan to reach your
dreams and goals.
You will be more persuasive.

Use one or two of these ideas at a time

and gradually integrate them into your
daily life. Then re-read this booklet
and introduce more of these ideas, tips
and techniques into your life.

Sheila Holt 2001

Positive assumptions to live by

An assumption is the acceptance of
something without proof. Some people
choose to live life with a set of negative
assumptions, which hinder and hold
them back. Here are ten positive
assumptions to live your life by. Act as
if they are true and notice the
difference they make, to your life and to
the lives of others around you.
1. The meaning of your
communication is the response you
get. In other words its up to you to

get others to understand your

message. You have to take
responsibility for your
communication.
2. Every human being has their own
unique way of understanding and
interpreting the world. We all think

differently, even identical twins!

No one else will ever think exactly
the same as you!

3. There is no such thing as failure

only feedback. Information you
receive about something you did is
simply feedback. Its about your
actions and has nothing to do with
you personally. You can use
feedback to improve and develop
yourself. Once the learning has
been taken, leave the event in the
past and use the feedback to
improve the way you do it next
time.
4. If you always do what you always
did, youll always get what you
always got. So if you keep doing

the same thing in the same way and

expect a different result itll never
happen! You need to change what
youre doing to get a different
result.
5. We cannot not communicate. As
long as you are awake you are
communicating things about
yourself without using words
simply by the way you stand or sit
or even breathe. Its impossible to
have no communication in your
waking hours.

6. You have within you all the

resources to achieve what you
want. Most of us can do most things

we want. Sometimes we just need

to be reminded of how to do them.
7. Behind every behaviour there is
always a positive intention.

Whatever a persons behaviour may

be, they have a positive purpose for
behaving in that way.
8. You create your own reality. There
is no universal reality. Whatever
reality is to you may not be reality
to someone else.
9. Energy flows where attention goes.
Whatever you put energy into
thinking about, you will get. So
think about the things you want
rather than the things you dont
want.
10. The people who are most flexible
have the highest possibility of
achieving the results they want. Be

as flexible as you can in order to get

the results you desire. That means
having patience and a willingness to
change time after time.

Learn anything faster, easier,

better
The more you use your brain, the more
connections grow between each brain
cell. The more connections there are
the greater your thought potential is.
New experiences expand your brain so
that it gets better with use at any age!
11. Your brain has two sides, the left
and right, which shuttle messages
across to each other. To accelerate
learning use both sides of your
brain at once with words and music;
words and pictures; big picture and
step by step detail.
12. You literally do have 2 minds! The
conscious and the unconscious.
Your conscious mind can hold 7
(plus or minus) 2 pieces of
information at any one second,
whilst the unconscious can hold 2
million pieces of information at any
one second. Use your unconscious
mind to learn everything by
allowing new information to float
in unnoticed.

13. Feed your brain. It needs energy

and lives on oxygen, glucose and
other trace elements. If you want
your brain to perform well, feed it
well and take physical exercise
regularly to oxygenate your blood.
14. You have 4 different brain waves:
Beta = wide-awake. Alpha =
relaxed alertness. Theta = twilight
zone between awake and asleep.
Delta = deep sleep.
Alpha is the ideal learning state.
Use Baroque music which is
classical music from the 17th 18th
centuries. Play it quietly and it will
induce Alpha brain waves ideal for
rapidly improving learning.
15. Use all 5 senses to learn sight,
sound, taste, smell and touch. You
will have a preference to learn with
one of your senses more than the
others. To accelerate your
performance engage all your senses.
So, for example, by listening to
tapes, doing activities and watching
a video on the same topic you will
engage your 3 main senses in
learning the new information.

16. Visualise and have mental

rehearsals of what you wish to
learn. Perfect visualisation makes
for perfect results. Visualise over
and over again.
17. Support your visualisation with
positive affirmations about you as a
successful learner. Repeating an
affirmation to yourself internally or
out loud for mental strength is like
doing push ups for physical
strength.
18. How well you learn depends on the
state you are in at the time. A
state is the sum of your thoughts,
feelings, emotions, mental and
physical energy. Ask yourself what
states enable you to learn fast and
effectively, quickly and easily. Put
yourself in a great state before you
start to learn, by doing something
you really enjoy doing.
19. Use peripheral vision to read and
make notes as you are learning.
The way to do this is, instead of
bringing individual words into
sharp focus, soften your eyes and,
therefore, your sight so that your
peripheral vision expands and the
whole printed page comes into view
at once

20. Review your learning just as you

fall asleep at night. Your
unconscious mind will more easily
process and store the new
information ready for fast, effective
recall.

Planning the time to plan

There is no such thing as a perfect time
management system, but there is a time
management system that is perfect for
you!
Weave one or two of the following
ideas into each day and remember it
takes 21 days to develop a new idea
into a habit.
21. Start each day with 30 minutes of
thinking time to focus on the most
important goals for the day. Write
them down.
22. Think with a dictaphone by your
side or a pen in your hand.
23. Ask yourself what am I doing right
now that doesnt need to be done by
me? Then stop doing it.
24. Master your delegation skills and
manage the people you delegate to.

25. Learn to say no when a request is

not vital and say no often. Set
some boundaries.
26. Hire a personal assistant to take
care of personal projects or errands
that need to be done during your
working time.
27. Undertake your most important
projects/tasks at the time in the day
when you have highest energy.
28. Set a deadline for every task and
keep to that deadline.
29. When working on a large project or
task start with the big steps first and
use this momentum to complete the
smaller steps.
30. Go to bed early and wake up early,
seven days a week, because your
body loves a consistent schedule.
31. Your mind and body are part of the
same human system. Establish a
regular exercise programme as a
healthy body makes for a healthy
mind and increases time
efficiencies.

32. Simplify everything in your life.

Give up at least one goal, role or
project that isnt working for you.
That will create time and space for
you to be successful.

Putting off procrastination

Procrastination is an insidious little
beast that scampers around in life,
undermining purpose and passion and
planting seeds of self-sabotage as it
goes.
Here are five reasons WHY we
procrastinate and five tips for HOW to
get on and take action.
33. Paralysis. I dont know where to
start. Ill think about that
tomorrow. Pick small pieces of
the overall project, complete each,
and give yourself congratulations
along the way.
34. Perfectionism. If I cant do it
perfectly I wont do it at all! You
are never going to be perfect
because youre human. When
were imperfect it shows theres
room for growth.

35. Perceptual Problems. Ive got

plenty of time. It isnt even due
until(next month). Work
backwards, create a time chart with
your outcome at the top. Add a
deadline to each step, and start
climbing.
36. Permission. But I dont f-e-e-l like
it. Dedicate a period every day to
being a grown up, willing to do
what it takes to get what YOU
really want.
37. Peculiar Priorities Ill plan that
trip / do my personal finances right
after(whatever) Youre
expending more energy on avoiding
the task than it would take to
complete it. So just do it.

Setting great goals

People who reach high levels of
achievement have been shown to have
very clearly written down their own
goals at a fairly early age. There are
some specific keys to setting goals,
which become irresistible for the
individual setting them.
38. State your goal in the positive.
What specifically do you want to
achieve?

39. Be specific, in detail, about your

current situation. Where are you
now in relation to your goal?
40. Set the context of your goal.
Where, when and with whom do
you want it?
41. What is your evidence for having
reached your goal? How will you
know when you have got what you
want? What will you be seeing,
hearing and feeling?
42. Make sure your goal is initiated by
you. In other words check that you
do not have to rely on anybody else,
or expect anybody else, to change
for you!
43. Check your goal is worthwhile.
Does your goal represent who you
are and who you want to be?
44. Is your goal in keeping with the
environment in which you live and
operate? What will happen if you
get it? What wont happen if you
get it? What will happen if you
dont get it? What wont happen if
you dont get it?
45. What resources do you need
physical, emotional, financial and
people resources? List these.

46. What is the first step you have to

take now to achieve your goal?
47. Remember to check through your
goal to make sure its SMART.
Specific and simple. Measurable
and meaningful to you. Achievable
in all areas of your life. Realistic
and responsible. Timed and
towards what you want.

Ways to get most people to do

most things
In life we often want to influence others
to do things for us. Below are some
tips on how to do that easily and
effortlessly, fast and effectively.
48. Use Yes tag phrases in your
conversations, preferably at the end
of a question. For example, You
are having a good time arent you?
49. Phrase your questions so that 3
Yes answers are given
consecutively. This will keep the
other person in your conversation in
a positive Yes state of mind.
50. When you want someone to answer
yes, then nod your head as you ask
them a question.

51. Use the same visual, auditory or

kinesthetic words as the person you
are speaking to. A visual person
will use words like see, eye, look.
An auditory person will use words
like hear, sound, talk. A kinesthetic
person will use words such as gut,
feel, touch.
52. Keep the same pace and follow
others speed of speech. If they
speak slowly, then you speak
slowly. If they speak at a moderate
speed then you speak at a moderate
speed. If they speak fast then you
speak fast. Pace and follow the
conversation speed of others.
53. Watch the direction of a persons
eye movements to understand if
they are thinking in pictures
(visual), sounds (auditory), or
feelings (kinesthetic).
Their eyes will go up if they are
visual, will be level with the top of
their ears if they are auditory and
move down to the floor, often to
their right, if they are kinesthetic.

54. When you are doing the talking,

from time to time slow your speech
right down, really really
slow down and then just
add the phrase thats right. Then
continue speaking at your normal
speed again. What youve just done
is to speak to the unconscious mind
of the other person.
55. Walk at the same speed and in the
same way as the other person.
When sitting make the same
gestures as that person. Allow a 30
second time lag between their
gestures and movements and your
gestures.
56. Listen carefully to the emphasis on
particular words by another person.
Use the same emphasis on the same
words when responding.
57. Always speak positively, saying
what you do want. The mind is
unable to process a negative
command. If you tell someone not
to think of a red rabbit, whats the
first thing that springs to mind?
Yes, a red rabbit! The reason for
this is that you have to think of a
red rabbit in order not to think
about it. By then its too late!

Success is a matter of mind!

There are even more things in life that
we can do to get great results and all of
them are connected with the way you
think. The way you think affects
everything else in your life.
58. Reasons or results. You can only
choose one of these words. Either
reasons or results. If you choose
reasons (in other words excuses)
then thats ultimately what youll
have. So choose results each time,
every time. This will mean giving
up all your excuses including the
best one of all which is I dont
know what I want!
59. Live your life on purpose by
knowing what you want. Many
people live life by accident with
neither direction nor focus. Know
your purpose and pursue it
relentlessly. You will get it!

60. Live your life at cause. Give up

being at effect. You make me feel
really angry is a blame statement.
To believe someone else is
responsible for your emotional state
is to give power to others and put
you at effect of other people and
their thoughts, actions, reactions
and beliefs. To be at cause in your
life means taking responsibility for
yourself and choosing the way you
respond.
61. Develop flexibility of mind. Mind
and body are connected and what
affects one, affects the other. To
become mentally flexible change
the way you sit or stand. Wear your
watch on the other wrist. Put the
opposite shoe on first.
62. Always take action. Action beats
inaction every time. Your growth
and development is in doing. If you
are doing the wrong things then
change what you are doing.

63. The law of least effort includes two

components to help you do less and
accomplish more. Acceptance and
defencelessness. Accept people,
situations, circumstances and events
as they are. You may not like them
but accept them. Relinquish the
need to defend your point of view.
It is only your point of view, your
opinion, and everybody has one.
64. Know that everything we create
begins first with a thought. A house
is built from an architects plans
which started life as thoughts and
imagination. Create your life the
way you want it to be by first
thinking of it the way you want it to
be.
65. Start with the end in mind. Think
of the end result and scale it down
into smaller bite-sized chunks.
Knowing exactly what you want
you can then go and look for it.
66. Notice your response to situations
and people. Take a moment to
think and then choose your
response rather than immediately
having an emotional reaction.

67. Find someone who has done what

you want to do. Ask them for tips,
tricks of the trade. Ask them how
they did it and what their thought
processes were when they were
doing it.

Paradoxes of life
A paradox is a seemingly contradictory
statement and life is full of these
statements!. Take notice of these
paradoxes and think about how you are
living your life at the moment.
68. If you want something badly
enough, then let it go; set it free. It
will always come back to you in
some way, shape or form.
69. In order to gain control, you have to
give up control. Gaining control on
the inside means giving up control
on the outside, over people, tasks,
circumstances, events.
70. The more selfish we become, the
more we can afford to be generous
to others.
71. The more you focus on money, the
less of it you are likely to have!
Follow your passion and the money
will be close behind.

72. If you want to meet your ideal

partner (in business or in life) stop
looking for him or her!
73. Youve got to believe you can do it
before you prove you can, and
youve got to prove you can do it in
order to change your belief that you
can.
74. We satisfy our own needs best
when we satisfy others needs first.
Through helping others get want
they want, we also get what we
want.
75. The more we listen to others the
more we get listened to by others.
76. In business and in life, word of
mouth marketing is the worlds best
way to network, and yet it is the
best known marketing secret.
Everyone knows how important
word of mouth is but we are far less
clear on how to spread the word.
77. Less really is more! The less we
strive for things the more easily
they come. For example: if we
have less diversity we have more
depth. If we have less stress, we
can have more fun.

Coaching for a successful life

You are your best advert. However
great your life is hire a coach and
have an annual check up. The
following tips tell you how to make
great use of a coach.
78. Be open minded and willing to
explore new ways of thinking and
doing things. Experiment and
mentally try things on for size.
79. Be prepared to be truthful with
yourself about yourself. In order to
have an honest, truthful, open
relationship with your coach you
must first have one with yourself.
80. Be open to learning from feedback.
Whatever results you get, take the
lessons from those results and be
prepared to use them to propel you
forward.
81. Have a willingness to take
responsibility for your life, your
actions, your emotions. Your
emotions are nobody elses fault!
You own them. So the quicker you
own up to them, the quicker you
can take responsibility for your
happiness.

82. Attitude counts. Let go of

analysing why you do this, and
what happens with that. Just give
yourself permission to give up all
the things that are limiting you.
83. Stay with the coaching process
rather than jumping ahead or
second guessing what your coach is
doing and the reason for it. Second
guessing is a great way of avoiding
sensitive issues!
84. Develop a mind set which allows
you to be challenged by your coach.
85. Listen with all of your being to
what is being asked, suggested or
endorsed by your coach, rather than
what you think is being said. The
essential key to any great
relationship is listening after all
that is what youre paying for! To
be listened to and to listen.
86. Be non-judgemental. Your coach
makes no value judgements about
you, has no opinions about what is
right and wrong in your life.
Extend the same courtesy and
explore everything on offer. Then
you can make choices instead of
judgements.

87. Commit to your growth and

development. No one can make
you develop, its in your hands to
have a great life.

10 Tips to Promote YOUR Business with

this Booklet!
(It can even be customised for you.)

1. Send a copy of this booklet to your

clients at Christmas, thanking them for
their business.
2. Use this booklet as a thank you for a
sales appointment.
3. Mail this booklet to your prospect list to
stay in touch with them.
4. Offer this booklet free with any
purchase during a specific time, with a
certain purchase amount, or when
opening a new account.
5. Distribute this booklet to prospects at a
trade show, presentation or seminar.
6. Give this booklet as an incentive for
completing a questionnaire or survey.
7. Include this booklet as a thank you
gift when mailing your invoices.
8. Package this booklet as a value-added
bonus with a product you sell.
9. Give a copy of this booklet free to the
first X number of customers that buy
a certain product or service from you.
10. Provide copies of this booklet to people
and organisations who can refer
business to you.
What are you waiting for?

q Do you want a quotation for multiple

q

orders of this booklet and associated

discounts?
Interested in having this booklet over
printed with your company logo?

Call: You & I Coaching & Development

0870 330 0510

Sheila Holt is founder of You & I

Coaching & Development. Sheila
works as a business and life coach, she
is also a published author and speaker.
For more information about how
coaching can enhance your life please
call or contact:

Sheila Holt
You & I Coaching & Development
The Coach House, 20 Windy Arbour,
Kenilworth, Warwickshire, CV8 2AS
ENGLAND

Tel: + 44 (0) 870 330 0510

Email Sheila @YouandICoaching.com
www.YouandICoaching.com

Copyright 2001 Sheila Holt

You & I Coaching & Development.
All rights reserved.
This booklet or parts thereof, may not
be produced in any form without
permission. Exceptions are made for
brief excerpts in published reviews.