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of the hard struggle for existence in these places, and the fact that to work long
hours, sometimes seven days a week, and associate with those who have no or
little culture, what to speak of Vedic culture, some have it seems lost their
culture. The children grow up knowing less than their parents, and with no
extended / Joint family to support them, rely on the association of T.V. and peers
at school for "cultural education".
Nowadays many people who call themselves Hindus have no idea about their
own traditions and customs. Many of the parents do not have adequate
knowledge to be able to explain the reasons for various customs to the youth
who ask. And many people who sincerely wish to follow the faith are not fluent
enough in one of the Indian vernacular languages to gain access to the relevant
literature, and there is also a lack of any practical guide to Hindu customs written
especially for Hindus in English. In view of all these reasons I have decided by the
grace of guru and Krishna to make an attempt to give some guidelines whereby
sincere and devout Hindus may be guided in the practice of their faith. How far I
have been successful will be for the reader to decide.
The subject of 'Hindu' customs is extremely complex owing to the variations in
customs, manners and rites which are current amongst different Hindu
communities. The customs differ sometimes quite radically from village to village,
in various districts, amongst families, castes, and sects. So it is very difficult to
compile a guide for all Hindus. Nevertheless for the sake of convenience it is
possible to divide the Hindu community at large into two groups; Dvijas and nondvijas. A dvija is a person who has been initiated with the sacred thread
[upanayanam] and has received the Gayatri mantra from a Guru. Non-dvijas are
those who have not received this sacrament of initiation. All the canons of the
sacred laws are applicable only to the dvijas as it is through the sacred thread
ceremony and the teaching of the Spiritual Master that one becomes capable
[adhikari] of fulfilling the sacred law, and any neglect or breach of it would
constitute a sin which leads to punishment and suffering. Non-dvijas are free of
this obligation to follow the Sacred Law in it's entirety and do not commit sin by
neglecting it, but, on the other hand they are greatly blessed by following as
much of the Sacred Law as they are able to. So neglect on the part of a dvija
produces demerit whereas observance on the part of non-dvijas is an act of
merit.
Bearing this in mind this guide is written for all Hindus who aspire to maintain
their traditions, whatever be the reason. The subject matter is culled from the
various Law books such as Manu Smrti, pastambha Smrti, Baudhyana Smrti
and others and can be used by all those who follow different recensions of the
Vedas. It is written in the form of questions and answers for easy reference.
Special regard has been paid to the fact that many Hindus live in western
countries where it is much harder to practice the faith than in India, so I have
given some practical guidelines applicable especially to the Modern-Western
context.
WHAT IS MEANT BY 'IMPURITY'?
A married woman observes the impurity of her husband's family and not that of
her natural family.
4. ARE THERE ANY EXCEPTIONS?
Yes - the following persons are exempt from observing mritakam; the reason
being that many people are dependant upon their functions and would be
harmed if their essential services were interrupted, so ultimately it is the welfare
of the group as a whole which prevails in these matters.
1. Artisans
2. Architects and builders
3. Doctors and surgeons and other medical workers.
4. Politicians and administrators.
5. Vedic scholars and officiating priests.
6. Those who are in process of a religious observance or vow i.e. brahmacharis
and also those who are fasting for kavady or similar such vow.
7. Those who have been initiated and are engaged in the performance of a yaja
lasting more than one day.
8. During the three days of a marriage ceremony once the kankanam is tied.
9. Those who are taking part in the 10 day Brahmotsavam or annual temple
festival.
NOTE;
6,
7,
8, &
9 are dependant upon the tying of the kankanam - a yellow thread - to the wrist
of all the principal participants at the commencement of any festival or
sacramental function. Once this thread is tied the participants are exempt from
observing any mritakam until the completion of the function.
5. WHAT RULES ARE TO OBSERVED DURING MRITAKAM?
Upon the death of a relative the following rules are to be observed for three
days;
2. If the second death occurs with one night remaining of the first period of
mritakam then the relatives should observe another 2 nights and 2 days.
3. If the second death occurs on the morning after the completion of the first
period then they should observe another 3 days and 3 nights.
4. If another death occurs after this then the full period is to be observed. 9.
WHAT ARE THE RULES FOR THE BIRTH AND DEATH OF CHILDREN?
1. When a child is born only the mother observes a period of stakam lasting for
10 days, the father is purified immediately by taking a bath [after visiting the
nursing home or the lying-in chamber].
2. If the child is still-born the period of asaucam for both the parents is 24 hours.
3. If a miscarriage occurs then the number of days observed is equal to the
months of pregnancy e.g. if the mother miscarries in the 6th month then the
period of asaucam would be 6 days.
4. When a daughter dies before her marriage the family observe 3 days and 3
nights.
8. Up to the age of three there is no cremation - only burial without any ritual;
offering of sesame seeds and water is optional. The parents are purified when
they have disposed of the corpse and taken a bath.
5. If a son dies before the tonsure ceremony [ from 3 up to 5 years of age] the
period of asaucam prescribed is 24 hours only.
6. If the son dies after the tonsure ceremony and before the initiation
[upanayanam] with the sacred thread - 3 days and nights are observed.
7. The death of a fully initiated son would entail the full 10 days and nights.
10. WHAT ARE THE RULES REGARDING AN UNNATURAL DEATH?
No post death obsequial rituals are done for a person who has died a violent and
unnatural death like an accident, suicide, murder, falling from a height, being
killed by an animal, or death from an infectious disease, etc and no mritakam is
observed by the family members who become purified immediately upon the
disposal of the corpse which should be cremated without any rituals. After a lapse
of ten days and before the sixth month they should have the ceremony known as
Nryana Bali performed by a learned brahmin. The purpose of this ceremony is
to release the soul from an earthbound state to which it has obtained as a result
of the unnatural and violent death. Even after this the yearly and periodic
Shrddha offerings are unnecessary.
If you need more information on the Narayan Bali rite or how to perform
Vrishotsarga as mentioned in Garuda Purana, feel free to get back to me. These
are extremely traumatic occurrences to any family and so therefore the Sages in
their wisdom realized that to impose restrictions, rules and observances on a
family shocked and unprepared at this time would be too much for them. They
are therefore not socially obliged to do anything. Obviously they are bereaved
and will need the consideration that a period of mourning gives, but there are no
restrictions upon them - it is left to the individual needs of each family to decide
what to do.
11. WHAT IS TO BE DONE ON THE DEATH OF 'FALLEN PERSONS'? 'Fallen persons'
or 'patita' are those that have committed the crimes of murder, incest & child
abuse, drunkards, drug addicts, women that have caused abortions to be
performed upon themselves and upon others, those that have stolen the property
of a temple. For all these no ceremonies at all are performed, the family remains
in mritakam only until the disposal of the corpse which is done without any
rituals; afterwards the ceremony of Narayana Bali should be done as explained
above.
Fallen persons are not generally held in great regard or esteem by their families
because of the social disgrace and stigma attached to their crimes. Very often
their deaths are greeted with expectancy or even relief, and to impose rites and
observances in these cases would be hypocritical. aneka ncil more prasda
kariy viprera rddha-ptra khinu &
8216;mleccha; ha SYNONYMS aneka - ;in many ways; ncil - ;You have made
dance; more - ;me; prasda kariy - ;by Your mercy; viprera - ;of the brhmaas;
rddha-ptra - ;the dish of the rddha ceremony; khinu - ;I have eaten;
mleccha ha - ;although born in a family of meat-eaters. TRANSLATION ;My dear
Lord, by Your mercy You have made me dance in many ways. For example, I was
offered the rddha-ptra, which should have been offered to first-class
brhmaas. I ate from it even though I was born in a family of meat-eaters."
PURPORT rla Bhaktisiddhnta Sarasvat hkura, in his Anubhya, quotes
from the Viu-smti in reference to the rddha-ptra.
brhmapasad hy ete kathit pakti-dak
etn vivarjayed yatnt rddha-karmai paita According to this verse, if one
is born in a brhmaa family but does not behave according to brahminical
standards, he should not be offered the rddha-ptra, which is prasdam offered
to the forefathers. Advaita crya offered the rddha-ptra to Haridsa hkura,
not to a brhmaa who had been born in a brhmaa family. Although Haridsa
hkura was born in the family of meat-eaters, because he was an advanced
devotee he was shown more respect than a first-class brhmaa. (Srila A.C.
Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada. Sri Chaitanya Charitamrita Antya-lila vol 4.
chapter 11:30 text and purport.) 12. WHAT HAPPENS TO ONE WHO DIES FOR A
JUST CAUSE? A person who gives up his life saving or defending another especially a brahmin, a woman, a child, or a cow, a soldier that dies in the
defence of his country or a policeman that dies in the line of duty - fighting crime,
all these persons are considered to be martyrs and go straight to a heavenly
realm and therefore do not stand in need of our help in the form of rituals and
ceremonies. No mritakam is observed. 13. WHAT ARE THE RULES OF ASAUCAM
TO BE OBSERVED BY THOSE ATTENDING A FUNERAL?
All those who attend a funeral or touch a corpse are considered as impure until
they take a bath and wash the clothes that they wore to the funeral. The tradition
is that they should bathe in the tank near the crematorium which is there for this
purpose or they should bathe in the sea. The mourners should not enter the
house but bathe outside fully clothed and then change their clothes and enter. If
this is not possible then they should at least sprinkle water mixed with turmeric
over themselves, touch fire and eat a little ghee before entering the house and
taking bath. They should never enter a temple or even salute the Deity or a
priest from afar while in the state of asaucam! Best is to do their duty and then
get again suchi - purified.
14. WHAT ARE THE RULES OF STAKAM FOR THE MOTHER? During ten days
following the birth of a baby the mother should not be allowed to perform any
type of household work like cleaning, cooking etc. She should not perform puja,
read sacred texts or do japa with a japa-mala - if she wishes she can do it by
counting on her fingers. She and the baby should not come in contact with
visitors and well-wishers [this is to ensure that the baby does not come in contact
with any germs and to give them both a chance to fully recover from the
traumatic experience of birth. 15. WHAT ARE THE RULES PERTAINING TO
IMPURITY CAUSED BY MENSTRUATION? A woman is considered as impure during
her monthly periods for a period of three to four days or until the bleeding stops.
The reason being that the presence of any of the exudates from the body; blood,
pus, vomit, faeces, urine, sperm is defiling and the individual is considered as
untouchable until the secretion has stopped. All social activities with a person
who is in such a state are avoided; 1. Especially they are not permitted to cook or
to serve food. 2. Conversation with them is forbidden to brahmins. 3. They are of
course forbidden from entering a temple or taking part in any ritual as long as
the presence of blood is there. 4. The husband should not sleep in the same bed
or have sexual intercourse with his wife during her period. Another very good
reason why this custom arose was to give the women a break from their
household chores. Normally a mother never has a day off, she is available to
attend to her family 24 hours a day every day. So the custom arose to give the
women a holiday of three to four days a month in which they could rest and
recoup their energy and be served hand and foot! In ancient India there was
never any problems with P.M.T!! In a spiritual context this gave the woman a
chance to catch up on her spiritual activities - she could fast, perform meditation
and japa [without a mala] and spend the time reflecting without being disturbed.
Nowadays with the break down of the extended family system and with the
women in the work force, this arrangement is no longer practicable. So one
should observe as much as possible within the context of one's daily life. The
following are some practical hints which could be adopted as a guideline for living
in the modern world and still maintain the practice of dharma;
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1. If a separate room is not available for the wife to sleep in then at least have a
bed roll so that she can avoid sleeping in the same bed as the husband.
2. As regards food and cooking best is if a family friend could help out with some
meals. If due to circumstances this is not posible, and as a last option it might be
an idea to call an aproved vegetarian take away - nowadays with the availability
of fast food stores and speedy delivery services this is not a problem. We say this
in this way because the reality is that foods stuffs, especially grains cooked by
non-devotees is not considered suitable for a brahmin to partake of. As the
consciousness of the cook is transmitted through the food to the partakers - it is
said that one who regulaly eats foodstuffs cooked by non-devotees, unofferable,
unclean (not sattvik - at least in the mode of goodness) foodstuffs his mind will
become disturbed. Still if there is no option, maybe the family could perhaps take
approved/suitable/uncontaminated fast food for the three days. [Eating OUT is
not a good idea!]
3. Avoid inviting guests around during this period and if they have already been
invited try to make an excuse - if they are devotees then they will understand being 'unwell' is a time honoured excuse!
4. The husband could take over the household chores; shopping, cooking,
cleaning, looking after the kids etc. And he could serve the wife for a change and
give her as much of a break as possible for her to do her own thing! 5. Going to a
temple or attending any type of ritual should be avoided at all costs. Also avoid
conversing with a brahmin priest.
6. If going to work is unavoidable then keep physical contact with others down to
a minimum and avoid serving others tea or coffee or using their utensils.
Footnote: OCCASIONAL / UNWITTING IMPURITY
If a brahmin unwittingly swallows meat, faeces, semen or wine he incurs
impurity. He should fast the rest of the day until the evening and then he should
drink water with the recitation of the omkara.
(Yajavalkya Smriti 13:55.)
punantu mam devajanah
punantu manasa dhiyah
punantu visva bhutani
jatavedah punihi ma
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May the gods (devas, devotees) company make me clean, and Vasus make me
pure by song. Purify me, ye General of the Gods; Oh Jatavedas, make me pure.
(Rg Veda 9:67:27).
Bhagavad Gita 9:30 makes the picture clear:
api cet su-durcro
bhajate mm ananya-bhk
sdhur eva sa mantavya
samyag vyavasito hi sa
SYNONYMS
api - ;even; cet - ;if; su-durcra - ;one committing the most abominable
actions; bhajate - ;is engaged in devotional service; mm - ;unto Me; ananyabhk - ;without deviation; sdhu - ;a saint; eva - ;certainly; sa - ;he; mantavya
- ;is to be considered; samyak - ;completely; vyavasita - ;situated in
determination; hi - ;certainly; sa - ;he.
TRANSLATION
Even if one commits the most abominable action, if he is engaged in devotional
service he is to be considered saintly because he is properly situated in his
determination.
PURPORT
The word su-durcra used in this verse is very significant, and we should
understand it properly. When a living entity is conditioned, he has two kinds of
activities: one is conditional, and the other is constitutional. As for protecting the
body or abiding by the rules of society and state, certainly there are different
activities, even for the devotees, in connection with the conditional life, and such
activities are called conditional. Besides these, the living entity who is fully
conscious of his spiritual nature and is engaged in Ka consciousness, or the
devotional service of the Lord, has activities which are called transcendental.
Such activities are performed in his constitutional position, and they are
technically called devotional service. Now, in the conditioned state, sometimes
devotional service and the conditional service in relation to the body will parallel
one another. But then again, sometimes these activities become opposed to one
another. As far as possible, a devotee is very cautious so that he does not do
anything that could disrupt his wholesome condition. He knows that perfection in
his activities depends on his progressive realization of Ka consciousness.
Sometimes, however, it may be seen that a person in Ka consciousness
commits some act which may be taken as most abominable socially or politically.
But such a temporary falldown does not disqualify him. In the rmad-
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