About the Author

Wendi Schuller is a nurse, NLP and hypnotherapist. She went

through a contentious divorce and learned many lessons along the
way. She is a guest on radio shows. She has over one hundred
published articles and is the author of "The Woman's Holistic Guide
to Divorce." Ms Schuller is an avid traveller and has visited over
sixty countries.

Wendi Schuller

THE GLOBAL GUIDE

DIVORCE

TO

Copyright Wendi Schuller (2015)

The right of Wendi Schuller to be identified as author of this work
has been asserted by her in accordance with section 77 and 78 of the
Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced,
stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any
means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or
otherwise, without the prior permission of the publishers.
Any person who commits any unauthorized act in relation to this
publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for
damages.
A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British
Library.

ISBN 9781785548413 (Paperback)

www.austinmacauley.com
First Published (2015)
Austin Macauley Publishers Ltd.
25 Canada Square
Canary Wharf
London
E14 5LQ

Printed and bound in Great Britain

Acknowledgments
Thank you to Soila Sindiyo of London, Founder of The Divorce
Magazine UK, for her support and friendship. It is an honour to be a
contributor to her stellar magazine.
I express my gratitude to two top solicitors in the UK for their legal
contributions to this book. Austin Chessell is a Consultant Family
Law Solicitor and Family Law Mediator in Knightsbridge, London.
Anne Hall Dick is a Family Law Specialist and Family Law
Mediator in Glasgow, Scotland. Their complete biographies are
after their chapters.
Thank you to Dan Couvrette of Toronto, Canada, CEO of Divorce
Magazine and Family Lawyer Magazine, for his advice and
guidance.
I appreciate the many people who shared their stories and wisdom
so that many others could have an easier passage through this
turbulent time.
.

Introduction

The Global Guide to Divorce gives step-by-step advice on

how to break the divorce news and what to do in the
beginning, middle and post-divorce periods. This
informative book contains insiders tips not found in any
other any other source. True stories and examples are
interspersed with practical legal, financial, and division of
assets guidance to ensure the best outcome for divorce.
Suggestions on how to select the best legal professional in
your circumstance and where to find divorce resources are
included. How certain personality disorders influence
divorce and co-parenting are discussed. There are nuances
between narcissists, sociopaths (anti-social personality
disorder) and passive-aggressive spouses which can
influence the proceedings. Knowing the intricacies on how
to handle them in divorce and in co-parenting can make life
much simpler.
Two top solicitors in London and Glasgow contribute
information for divorce in the UK. Divorce processes for
several different countries and the EU are summarized with
important differences highlighted and extensive material
regarding divorce in the United States is provided. The
subtleties between divorcing in a community property state
vs an equity one are explained. International divorce is
complex and determining who has jurisdiction is
mentioned.
I use my background as a nurse, hypnotherapist and
Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) practitioner to
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provide information and results of studies for health and

well-being. Tips are given on how to stay in optimal
condition during this frenetic period. Based on my
experience as a school nurse, I describe how divorce affects
children and offer suggestions on how to help them adjust
to this transition. Emotional aspects such as forgiveness
and increasing self-esteem are addressed. We started in the
collaborative process and then my spouse dropped out,
necessitating having to start over with new attorneys for
litigation. He later agreed to pick up where we left off in
collaborative divorce with our original attorneys. Ours was
a divorce from Hell and the goal with this book is to prevent
others from having a similar experience. Advice is spelled
out clearly so others do not wander around in a fog as I did.
Many people and divorce professionals kindly provided
their anecdotes with wisdom to guide others along this path.
Post-divorce we worked with a mediator who handled our
communication and any childrens issues. Options are
presented on making co-parenting easier.
The Global Guide to Divorce deals with the changes in
relationships with friends and family as well as in your new
identity. It can be surprising who sticks with you postdivorce and who fades away. A chapter just for the guys
deals with their particular issues and has links to resources
for men.
The Global Guide to Divorce contains a section on
doing a self-assessment before getting back into the dating
scene. It gives tips for online dating and how to recognize
red flags with new dates. Tips on getting through your
former spouses wedding day and being in a new blended
family with step-children may be helpful too. My passion
is travel and there are suggestions for traveling solo or
budget friendly options with the kids. Facing holidays
during divorce can be daunting so plenty of
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recommendations are given. Ideas for starting new holiday

traditions either when alone or with children are shared.
This book gives a blueprint to moving on post-divorce and
thriving in this new phase of life.

1
Contemplating Divorce
Marital Counselling
Consider marital counselling if there is any chance of
salvaging your marriage. Even if that does not solve the
problems, then at least you know that you did everything
that you could to save your marriage. If your spouse will
not join you, then go alone. Marital counselling will
provide support in this situation and guidance in taking the
first few steps. My mother found it invaluable to have a
professional confirm what she suspected, that it was time
to bail, and she was given concrete measures to achieve this
undertaking.
Problem: Finding marital counselling
Solution: Resources are available for marital and
individual counselling in your community and even online.
Your physician may be able to refer you to a practitioner
and word-of-mouth is another good way to find one. Check
online for client satisfaction reviews.
Alternatively, there are charities globally that provide
relationship counselling which increases couples
interaction skills. Relate is UK based, and provides
couples counselling for marital problems. Individuals are
welcome and can receive assistance in deciding whether to
leave a marriage and how to do so. They have counselling
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for children, gay couples, plus partner with other charities

in this field. Relates councillors go through an extensive
training provided by this organization. In Scotland, Relate
is called Relationship Scotland. Since Relate is a nonprofit
group, the counselling fees are kept at a reasonable rate to
make it affordable for all. Relate also has workshops to
enhance relationships. Singles are welcome, so they can
learn skills to strengthen a future marriage. Relate is very
accessible and will do counselling by telephone, e-mail and
online. One can click onto their website and chat with a
counsellor, which enables this charity to be far reaching.
Retrouvaille is sometimes considered the last hope for
saving a marriage and preventing divorce. Couples may be
in such despair and pain that divorce seems to be the only
option in ending this misery. Some American clients are
sent there by judges and attorneys as a prerequisite before
divorce. Retrouvaille means rediscovery and is a charity
that teaches tools, such as communication, to enrich
relationships. Established in Quebec in 1977, Retrouvaille
weekends offer couples an opportunity to learn about
listening, forgiveness, communication and dialogue by
working closely with married couples who have faced
similar challenges. In 1982 Retrouvaille came to the
states, and in 1991 it spread globally. It starts out as a
weekend session and continues for three months after this.
The three month follow up is necessary in continuing to
implement these new skills. The focus is on improving
communication and if divorce is inevitable, clients will be
better able to have more effective interactions with former
spouses. It was started by the Catholic Church and couples
of all faiths, plus atheists are welcome. Three married
couples and a priest run the weekend sessions. A minister
and spouse would replace the priest when it is for Christian
Multi-Denominational (CMD).
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If you are dead sure that you want a divorce, please do

not drag your spouse to marital counselling. Have your own
private sessions if applicable. One lawyer couples
marriage was breaking down and the wife was not clear
why this was happening. She pushed for marital
counselling and the husband agreed to a weekend with
Retrouvaille. Barbara was hopeful after their return and
was stunned when her husband left immediately. He had a
young girlfriend with her two small children waiting for
him, and he filed for divorce that week. It was cruel to give
Barbara hope when he was already planning to leave the
marriage.

Pre-Divorce
It is imperative that you have a credit rating in your own
name before you divorce. Get a credit card in your name
only, and do not have any co-signers on it.
This was the main way that I was able to survive during
my divorce, before my interim support started a month or
so later. Take some money out of a joint account and open
one in your name. If this is too difficult, then open an
individual account with some loose cash from around the
house. Check the number of your credit score to get a sense
of potential borrowing ability.
It is important to have access to money to get you
through the initial stage of divorce. A friend who sensed I
was heading for divorce before I did, gave me a nice gift
card to a grocery store as a Christmas gift. When their
marriages were on the rocks, a few women bought gift
cards for themselves to use at a later date.
Document any marks, such as bruises, even for
occasional beatings. Although it was only a few times a
year, one father would grab his son so hard that a bruise
would form on the boys arm in the shape of his fingers.
The interim psychologist during the divorce turned that
father over to the Children, Youth and Family Department
(CY&FD). He hired a high-priced attorney who was able
to get the investigation closed quickly. CY&FD told the
mother that if she had had a picture or two of those bruises,
the outcome could have been different.
Many people feel it is prudent to consult an attorney
when even contemplating a divorce, to obtain astute legal
advice and invaluable guidance that can help prepare you
for whatever problems that might arise during the divorce.