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Useful Information for the Next

Generation of Jewish Families

The Gift of Failure

Shabbat Monopoly


Sweets for Thanksgiving

Supplement to The Jewish Standard November 2015

First breath. First smile. First steps.

Treasured moments begin here.

The MotherBaby Center at Chilton Medical Center.

Whether you are planning to start a family or adding to one, Chilton Medical Center invites you to
begin this exciting journey with us. Our MotherBaby Center encourages moms-to-be to personalize
their birthing experience in a way that makes it memorable for the entire family. We offer private
rooms with personalized visiting hours, hydrotherapy for labor, a celebratory gourmet dinner and
a Moms spa. For special care, theres a Level II Nursery with board certified neonatologists and
pediatricians available 24/7. And with caring nurses, expert medical staff, and our seamless
connection to Morristown Medical Center, its no wonder why so many women choose to have
their babies here with us, close to home.
For more information about parent education classes, please call 973-831-5475.

For a referral to a Chilton Obstetrician

or Certified Nurse Midwife,
call 1-888-4AH-DOCS
or visit atlantichealth.org/chilton



November, 2015

The Gift of Failure . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5

Teaching children how to get up again

Mind Your Manners. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6

Social skills refined in thank you and please

Tutoring for a Boost . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8

Wild Kratts Live!

Sunday, Nov 15

1pm & 4:30pm

Fancy Nancy Splendiferous

Sunday, Nov 29


Local options to bolster academics

The ABCs of ADHD. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9

A primer on the trait

Reflections. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10
A big sister mentor gains much
New Jersey Ballet presents

Generation G.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11
Playing Monopoly on Shabbat

Nutcracker sponsored by TD Bank

Dec 5th & Dec 6th

1pm & 4:30pm

Peppa Pig Live!

Peppa Pigs Big Splash

Wednesday, Dec 9th 3pm & 6pm

Cover Story . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12
Chef Eitan Bernath makes Thanksgiving sweet

Hear Ye, Hear Ye . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14

Questions for the audiologist

Top Choices . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15
Picks for November

A Christmas Carol
sponsored by TD Bank

December 20th

1pm & 4pm

Daniel Tigers
Neighborhood Live!*
Sunday, Jan 24th

1pm & 4:30pm

Gallery . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17
Pictures of our youngsters

Calendar . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18
Listings of things to do

Simchas . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19
Marking the milestones

Cesar Millan Live!

Friday, Jan 29th


Mike Super:

Magic & Illusion

Saturday, Feb 20 7:30pm

*Limited number of $19 special priced tickets available for these select shows.



musings from the editor


ach winter for many years, a big box from

West Palm Beach would arrive at our
door. Bulging slightly from the sides, it
was from Dillards, a department store I was
not familiar with, but now know is very popular in other parts of the country.
The package would be from my mother-inlaw, Bea, a Florida snowbird, inveterate shopper and fashion maven. Packed inside, its price
tags attached, were the most darling clothes
for the children. You see, my mother-in-law was
also a very savvy shopper and would hit the
stores during their final clearance sales. So the
red velvet party dress with its sweet crinoline
for Shaina, and the name brand navy sweat suit
meant for Yehuda, were purchased for a song.
The only hitch: while Shaina was 2 years
old, the dress was a size 7. I squirreled it away
in a box in the closet, hoping that when Shaina was five years older and wore a 7, that the
clothings appropriate season would match
her size. That fuzzy hoodie no matter how
cute could not be worn during a sweltering
August. But whenever the children did wear
the clothes, they looked wonderful and fetched
I remember another
time when the television signal in the United
States changed from
analog to digital. We had
two hulking televisions.
The change was coming and if you didnt get
some sort of converter,
you would be lost. I was
ready to go television-

free. But my mother-in-law insisted that was

not to be. She purchased with Sony points
earned on her credit card a slim television
that would adapt easily and that would allow
us to watch television.
Yes, shopping was a feeling for my motherin-law. She loved to look good, loved making
everyone else look good, loved shopping at
Macys Herald Square and, of course, loved
her family: her older son, Jeff, my husband, his
brother, Frank, and their families, including five
After 93 years, she died last week. A life
that started in Queens, N.Y., ended in Queens,
N.Y. Not to be reductive, and who could sum
up a life anyway, but it included decades of
hard work, outliving two husbands, raising two
sons, taking trips around the world a life that
was lived her way. Left a legacy of memories,
history and love for her family.
She was also a distinct personality.
How many senior citizens wear multiple
earrings that is, more than one piercing,
keep up with the latest fashion trend, and tattoo eyeliner underneath her brown eyes in her
80s to always look made up?
That was my mother-in-law, ever in style,
ever with it, ever young. A fiercely independent woman, she watched her stocks and her
shows, like Shark Tank, with equal interest.
I remember when she would come over for
Shabbos lunch. She never came empty handed. There was always a tchotchke for the children, a tie for Jeff and some motherly insights
for me. I would make sure to include corned
beef on the menu because the salty, fatty meat
was a favorite of hers.


James L. Janoff

Natalie Jay

Heidi Mae Bratt

Peggy Elias
George Kroll
Karen Nathanson
Janice Rosen
Brenda Sutcliffe


Deborah Herman

Art Director

Michelle Brauntuch, MS,CCLS

Barry Weissman, MD

Child Life Specialist, Englewood Hospital, Englewood

Pediatrician, Hackensack and Wyckoff

Hope Eliasof

Cheryl Wylen

Holistic Chiropractor, Oakland


Ed Silberfarb
Denise Morrison Yearian
Rifka Schonfeld

Contributing Writers

Jane Calem Rosen

Marketing and Communications Specialist

Howard Prager, DC, DACBSP

Advertising Director

Account Executives

Psychologist, Teaneck

Marriage and Family Therapist, Midland Park



About Our Children is designed to help Jewish families in our area live healthy, positive lives that make the most of
the resources available to them. By providing useful, current, accurate information, the publication aims to guide parents to essential information on faith, education, the arts, events, and child-raising in short, everything that todays
Jewish family, babies to grandparents, needs to live life to the fullest in northern New Jersey and Rockland County.

Dr. Annette Berger, Psy.D.

I remember when we visited her many

years before, when she lived on Long Beach,
Long Island where she raised her family.
We were going to hit the sand and, not being
a beach girl myself, I didnt have the right
clothes. Bea to the rescue. But of course, she
had the right clothes! There is a photograph
of me wearing her white terrycloth cover-up
on top of my bathing suit, playing with baby
Thanksgiving was always a tradition spent
with Bea. For years, our family would take the
Long Island Railroad to Franks house in Jericho, and the whole family would gather for the
meal, and then some.
This Thanksgiving, sadly, there will be an
empty seat.
But this Thanksgiving, I will try to fill it with
I will be thankful that Bea was a grandmother to my children. I will be thankful that
we had her for so long. I will be thankful that
she was here for us when we needed her. And
most of all, I will be thankful that as a mother, she raised my wonderful, loving and kind
Wishing all gratitude.

Director of Adult Programs and Cultural Arts

YM-YWHA of North Jersey, Wayne

About Our Children is published 11 times a year by the New Jersey/Rockland Jewish Media Group,
1086 Teaneck Road, Teaneck, NJ 07666; telephone: 201-837-8818; fax: 201-833-4959.;
e-mail: AboutOC@aol.com.

Dont Miss About Our Children in December

Published on November 20, 2015


Recognizing the Gift of Failure

As a Way to Success
Only those who dare to fail greatly
can ever achieve greatly.

I have not failed. Ive just found

10,000 ways that wont work.

Success is stumbling from failure to

failure with no loss of enthusiasm.

obert F. Kennedy, Thomas Edison, and Winston Churchill, three

men who changed the course of
the 20th century, viewed failure as part
of the process of success. In her book,
The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents
Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can
Succeed, Jessica Lahey writes about
the significance of failure in childrens
lives. She explains that early failure and
its consequences help children develop
a toolbox of skills to gain autonomy and
competence for later in life.
Paul Tough, in his book How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity, and the
Hidden Power of Character, outlines the
skills and character traits children attain
by encountering and overcoming failure.

Persistence is about knowing what you
want and not stopping until you get it.
Remember Watty Pipers The Little Engine that Could? While the little blue
engine is the smallest of all the engines,
she is the only one who agrees to help
the dolls and toys over the mountain.
Though it is unclear whether such a
small engine can succeed, the engine
repeats to herself, I think I can. I think
I can. And eventually makes it to the
other side of the mountain.
It is just this persistence or perseverance that we need to teach our children.
When struggling, we need to push ourselves in order to reach our goal. Like all
non-cognitive skills, persistence cannot
be taught through a worksheet. As parents, we can be role models for our children and teach them that when things are
tough, they still need to keep trying. Setting our own goals (whether they are fitness, educational, or personal goals) and
then sharing our triumphs and failures
with our children will teach them that it
is okay to fail and then keep on working
towards a goal. Parents and educators
need to model persistence and encourage
second, third, and twentieth tries.


The truth is that you cannot teach curiosity. You can, however, model curiosity when your children are little by asking
your own questions and working with
them to look them up. You can also answer their questions, regardless of how
silly or frequent they are. These questions will get longer and more important
and as time goes on they will develop
skills to answer them themselves.

Grit goes hand in hand with persistence.

Children who fail and then pull themselves up and start again are exhibiting
grit. They know that though it is painful
and their knees are scraped, they can
try again. Without grit, there is no persistence, and every failure is final.

Self control
A famous study in the 1960s, often dubbed the marshmallow test,
tested children on their self control.
The very young children were handed a marshmallow and told that they
could get a second one if they waited
until the researcher came back in the
room in order to eat the first. Some
children ate the first right away and
did not receive a second, but others sang or talked to themselves in
order to avoid eating the marshmallow. Eventually, when the researcher
returned, those children received a second marshmallow. The researchers then
followed those children for the next several decades.
What the researchers found astounded them. Those children who
had managed to control themselves in
order to get the second marshmallow
had more successful marriages, careers,
and lives in general. The ability to con-


trol themselves and delay gratification

ended up allowing them to set goals and
achieve them even if it meant waiting a
bit along the way. Helping children set
goals and then working with them to
achieve them is an excellent way to develop self-control.

Curiosity is about asking questions and
wanting to know how the world works.

Self-confidence is about believing in

yourself. In order to take risks, fail, and
continue again, you need to be confident
that you are strong and capable. Part of
self-confidence comes from success, and
part of it comes from overcoming failure.
As parents and educators, we have to let
children fail when they deserve to fail in
order to help them learn to overcome
that failure.
The greatest gift you can give your
children is the gift of failure. Trust me,
theyll thank you later.
Rifka Schonfeld is the founder and director of
S.O.S (Strategies for Optimum Success) for all
grade levels. A reading specialist, she gives
workshops and creates school reading labs. Ms.
Schonfeld, who has served the Jewish community for more than three decades, provides several other services. 718-382-5437, rifkaschonfeld@
gmail.com, rifkaschonfeldsos.com.



Please Thank You Youre Welcome

Begins Social Skills Success

141-147 N. Dean Street

Englewood, NJ

*Receive one free kids meal with each adult entre purchase. Free meal valid for
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eaching children manners provides them with

the social skills needed to be successful in life.
Although the refinement of these skills may take
years to master, if parents are deliberate and consistent, their efforts will pay off.
Between the ages of 2 and 5, children are most
receptive to learning codes of conduct because they
have a strong desire to please their parents and theyre
soaking up everything in their environment, says Parent Educator Chris Buker. Start with simple courtesies
and expand your expectations as they grow.
Thats what Sherry Brown has done. When her
boys began pointing and asking for things around age
2, she introduced phrases such as, Please and Thank
you. She tackled table manners too.
I started teaching them they had to wait until everyone got to the table to eat, says Brown of Zachary,
now age 6, and Hunter, 2. They also have to ask to be
excused and they must clear their dishes. Chewing with
their mouths open and talking while eating has been addressed too. Zachary is doing pretty good at this; with
Hunter its a constant conversation.
Whats important is to be specific about your
Instead of saying, Mind your manners, tell them,

When we go out for dinner I want you to and state

exactly what you want to see, says child psychologist
Carl Chenkin. This removes any ambiguity in your
childs mind and gives him opportunities to succeed.
Role playing may also help.
Its a fun way to introduce a variety of social skills,
says Buker. Use play phones to teach telephone etiquette. Let kids practice greeting and shaking hands
with their stuffed animals and dolls. Before going out
for a nice dinner, make a special meal with good dishes
at home. Encourage your child to get dressed up then
play out the scenario so she knows what to expect.
Browns boys have found this to be beneficial.
If theres a situation they are unfamiliar with, we
coach them ahead of time on what to expect, she says.
Just recently we celebrated my grandfathers 97th birthday, and there were a lot of relatives the kids hadnt met.
Before leaving home we reminded them to shake peoples
hands when they were introduced, not interrupt conversations and say their pleases and thank yous.
Childrens books that focus on manners can reinforce
refinement skills, as can television and movies. This has
been Amy Riddells experience. While watching TV one
day, her 4 -year-old son Nicholas pointed out a scene
where a group of kids was having a food fight.

Please continued on page 18

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We believe that positive relationships are the key to unlocking the potential in every kid. Our
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These connections give students the confidence to pursue their goals, whatever they may be.

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Ariela Dubler, Head of School

Tutoring Gives Students

the Cutting Edge
ometimes a boost to a youngsters
regular learning schedule can be
very helpful. Tutoring in any one
of several subjects or gaining skills proficiency to score well on standardized
tests or deepening knowledge through
enrichment classes can be just what your
child needs to boost his or her scores,
performance and self-confidence.
At Fusion Academy, a new progressive private school opening in Englewood and currently housed temporarily
in Paramus, offers students the ultimate
in custom-designed one-on-one learning
for those from 6th through 12th grade.
Students at Fusion Academy can shape
their own schedules and choose their
own course, and then learn from a teacher in a one-teacher to one-student ratio.
In addition to the school, which accommodates students with particular
needs but is neither a special education
nor therapeutic program, Fusion Academy offers a separate tutoring program
for the greater community to sample or
take myriad courses, from yoga to SAT
The tutoring supplements their academic education with different courses
such as art enrichment, music or yoga,
says Cinthya Bakker, director of student
The overall philosophy of the school
is one of love and connection, according
to Stephanie Torossian, director of admissions and outreach of the school that
was founded in California in 1989 and
now boasts 30 campuses throughout
the country. Its philosophy is to educate
the whole child academically, socially
and emotionally to build motivation and
At the Practice Perfect, a tutoring service in Tenafly that focuses on
the SATs and ACTs, a diagnostic exam
right off the bat helps to guide prospective college students into whether they
would be better off taking the SAT or the
ACT, both standardized examinations required in the college admission process.
Theres been a lot of interest this
year especially because the SAT is
changing its format. Students are very
interested in what that may mean for
college admission.
Many students need help crafting
their writing writing that is essential
to the college application process. Connecting with the students is something
that writing coach and essay tutor Deb
Breslow tries to do when she meets with
her students to help them with their col-

lege essays.
In a session that some have described as therapeutic, Ms. Breslow,
who has the students visit her at her
home which creates a warm, informal
environment plumbs their interests to
come up with a good essay idea, takes
assiduous notes and presents them to
students for them to write their essays.
The essay has taken on a really,
really important role in the admission
process, says Ms. Breslow. Just how
important the essay is, and how many
may be required in the admission to
several colleges, can become very
Unfortunately, so many kids still
dont know how to write an essay.
When it comes to lessons for bar
or bat mitzvah or Judaic studies, Cantor Barbra Lieberstein visits her clients
weekly in their homes in Bergen or
Rockland. Her lessons, which focus on
learning Hebrew, prayers and other essentials for the bar and bat mitzvah, are
personal and tailored to each students
needs. With some 70 clients, Cantor Barbra Lieberstein will now send out some
of her trained staff to help prepare students, but when the event nears, she will
resume tutoring the students herself.
In addition to her bar and bat mitzvah training work, Cantor Lieberstein
also teaches Hebrew in small groups
from two to four people, usually clients
who are unaffiliated otherwise, but want
to have a religious education.
At Mathnasium in Teaneck students
can pump up their mathematic muscles
at center that concentrates on strengthening students math skills to mastery
and accommodates kindergartener-level
math through calculus, says Dan Karp,
the owner, who works with center director Jonathan Eskowitz.
What distinguishes Mathnasium a
franchise of over 600 centers in the United States and 15 around the globe is
that each student starts his or her study
with an in-depth assessment that homes
in on their strengths and weaknesses.
The assessment not only identifies the
gaps, but also the way in which the
student will learn best, for example, if
he or she is a visual learner. Then for a
monthly membership of $350 (most students come two to three times a week),
the students get a one-on-one teaching
experience with appropriate curriculum
and work their way towards independence through skill building and the goal
of mastery.
Heidi Mae Bratt is the editor of About Our


The ABCs of ADHD


rom the time Cody Schumacher was

age 2, he displayed attention problems, accompanied by unrivaled
determination and temper tantrums.
Concerned, his mother approached the
pediatrician, but she dismissed it as a
developmental norm and said the boy
would outgrow it. By age 5, however, the
behaviors had escalated.
When the kindergarten teacher
said, I cant harness Codys attention
long enough to work with him, I knew
something wasnt right, says Martha
Schumacher of her now 12-year-old son.
What baffled me was he was bright and
could articulate his thoughts far better
than his peers. So when the school said
he needed to repeat kindergarten not
because of intelligence but because of
maturity issues I had to do something,
but I was clueless on where to begin.
Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a behavioral condition
that impairs a childs ability to function
in the academic, social and domestic environments. The terms ADD (attention
deficit disorder) and ADHD are sometimes used interchangeably as the result
of a diagnosis that has evolved over the
It used to be ADD with or without
hyperactivity. Now it is ADHD in one of
the three types hyperactivity, impulsivity and attention, says Dr. John T.
Walkup, associate professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Johns
Hopkins Medical Institutions. Children
can have any combination of the three
types, or they can have all three. With
proper treatment and management,
however, these kids can go on to live
successful, productive lives.
Frank Kros, MSW, JD, president of
the Upside Down Organization and nationally recognized speaker on ADHD,
agrees. All ADHD children have four
primary symptoms: impulsivity, time
disorientation, working memory deficit
and attention issues, he says. The first,
impulsivity, equates to issues with self
control. This refers to the student who,
despite repeated warnings, blurts out
the answer instead of raising his hand,
or the one who yanks a toy out of another childs hand just because he wants it.
Thats what clued Ms. Schumacher
that her youngest son Tyler had ADHD.
By the time he was 3, Ty began showing signs of extreme impulsiveness,
she says of her now 8-year-old. I often
found myself saying to him, What were
you thinking? when he did something
wrong. Hed also start activities then
grow quickly bored and move on. I knew
ADHD could be genetic, so I was already
on the lookout for it. About midway

through kindergarten problems cropped

up, so I took him in for evaluation.
The second symptom, time disorientation, affects the way children with
ADHD track time, making task organization and time management a challenge.
Likewise, working memory deficit, or
how many thoughts one can hold in his
head at a given time, can pose a problem
This is critical in decision making,
problem solving and following directions, says Kros. If a teacher says,
Sharpen your pencil, pull out paper,
open your book to page twelve and read
the first two paragraphs, the child with
ADHD will have trouble holding all of
those thoughts simultaneously.
Time disorientation and working
memory deficit were just two of the
symptoms that alerted Kim Marchman
that her son had a problem. Andrew
was 5 when we began to notice he was
extremely disorganized and constantly
lost things, says the mother of her now
17-year-old. Initially we dismissed it as
typical boyish behavior. But then we noticed he couldnt stay focused and took
longer than his peers to complete school
work. His teacher also stressed that his
papers were either turned in incomplete
or werent handed in at all. Out of necessity, I began to create strategies to help
him stay focused and on task.
The last primary characteristic seen
in children with ADHD is attention problems, which can be manifested in hyperactivity and/or inattentiveness.
The difference between the two is
the predominantly hyperactive child
is self stimulating and overtly active,
whereas the predominately inattentive
child is zoning, says Walkup. The latter is more difficult to recognize because
the child can, in fact, look as if hes paying attention when hes not. Then theres
the combined type where the child is hyperactive in some settings and inattentive in others.
Although ADHD affects both genders equally, research shows boys are
diagnosed three to eight times more
frequently than girls, due in part to attention issues. Boys with ADHD tend
to lean more toward hyperactivity while
girls tend to be more inattentive, though
we dont understand why, says Kros.
As a result, girls often go undiagnosed
until academic challenges increase in
latter years. Does this mean boys have
ADHD more? No. It just means their conduct is often more noticeable, which can
lead to an earlier diagnosis than their
Screening for ADHD begins with an
evaluation by a primary care doctor or

ADHD continued on page 15

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Reflections of a Big Sister Mentor

The Jewish Youth Encounter Program, JYEP, is a Hebrew

School in Teaneck, where in addition to the children
learning in a classroom with their peers, they are paired
with a Big Brother or Big Sister, a teen mentor who tutors
them in Hebrew reading and language and serves as a
Jewish role model. The following is an essay written by
Elisheva Rothberg, one of the Big Sisters..
Throughout my JYEP experience I was fortunate to
be a big sister to two amazing girls, Sabrina, who has
been my little sister for the past four years, and Emilia,
who was my little sister for two years. My first day being
a big sister was probably one of the most memorable.
I was walking with JYEP Director Debby Rapps so she
could show me who my new little sister was, and she
walked me over to this third grade girl with long brown
hair. I was expecting the first week to feel stiff and a
little uncomfortable being that we knew nothing about
each other. But Sabrina didnt let things feel uncomfortable. Sabrina was outgoing and warm, and at that moment I realized this was going to be a great experience.
Throughout that first year Sabrina and I learned
the aleph bet together. We got really close; we became
friends. She would talk to me about her life and asked
questions about being Jewish and what it is like being
an observant Jew. She was always eager to learn and
wanted to learn more. She reviewed at home, and would
apologize when she forgot. We played bingo and matching games and we would even make some games up.
The following year at orientation I found out that
I would be having two littles that year, Sabrina and
Emilia. I was nervous about how that would work out
because Sabrina and I were already working together
and Emilia had no idea who we were. However, I quickly
realized when meeting Emilia she was outgoing too. After the first week it was like I was always the big sister
of Sabrina and Emilia. We taught Emilia all the games
we made up, and included her in all our jokes. Over
the two years all three of us worked together; we read
different stories and learned how to read and translate
sentences and phrases.
My siblings and parents at home loved being involved as well. When we invited Sabrina and Emilia
over for Chanukah, they got to know them. We all lit
the candles together, each one getting to light their own
menorah and reciting the blessing that we learned in
JYEP together. Afterwards we sat down for dinner of
yummy fried food. Before last Passover I decided to get
them excited about learning the story of the splitting
of the sea. They each got to create a cake in which we
made the splitting of the sea. Sabrina and Emilia got really into it as they iced the cake blue and decorated it
with assorted candies.
The Shabbatonim with JYEP were memorable. I
was able to share my love for Shabbat with Sabrina and
Emilia by them experiencing it first hand. I was able
to show them all the different customs that we talked
about in JYEP. It was another opportunity for me to get
to know my littles better, and to hang out with them
outside of the school setting. The Shabbatonim also
give the littles a chance to interact with one another
to create one big family filled with many little brothers
and sisters and big brothers and sisters.
JYEP has been an incredible experience. I may have
taught Sabrina and Emilia Hebrew and about Judaism,
but they taught me many things if not more. They gave
me a different perspective on life and on Judaism; they
made me realize many different things about myself
that I didnt know before. I am happy that they were my
littles and I will miss them next year. It made me realize
how much we have in common with all Jews, and there
is so much more that unites us than separates us.


Do Not Work, Do Not Create, And Do Not Pass Go on the Sabbath

he Almighty rested on the seventh

day, and so we must no work, no
light switching, no riding neither
car nor elevator. Reading is encouraged,
and also discussion, words of Torah and
Talmud, of course. But as the day wears
on, the young Shabbat observers grow
restless. The nap is too sedentary. The
walk in the park has limitations. Mincha
and havdalah seem unattainable.
The strain is eased with a device not
quite in the spirit of Shabbat perhaps,
but halachically unassailable. Its the
Monopoly game, which has absorbed
young and old for some 80 years.
The players span three generations.
Grandpa is the banker and chooses the
top hat as his token. Abba picks the
hand iron to insure a freshly pressed
shirt. Its the car, of course, for Devorah,
who just got her drivers license, and a
shoe for 13-year-old Yehuda, who has
become a runner. There are no more official tokens, but 10-year-old Eli found a
miniature horse, which, after some dispute, the other players agree to allow in
the game.
The fake money is distributed. The
dice are rolled. The game begins and so
do the arguments. Devorah lands in jail
and claims there was no due process.
She demands a writ of habeas corpus.
Yehuda wants to put all his houses on

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him out of the game. Thats not how one

honors ones father, but Monopoly, like
life, observes no such courtesies.
Eli finally gets a monopoly other
than railroads Baltic and Mediterranean Avenues, the cheapest property on
the board. He quickly builds houses, and
is accused of being a notorious slumlord,
providing no heat or hot water. Devorah
lands there, and threatens to organize a
rent strike because of deplorable conditions, but theres no Housing Court to
adjudicate the issue.
The game goes on. The players keep
circling the board. Play is adjourned so
Shabbat can be concluded properly,
then play resumes. A strategic moment
comes when Devorahs Chance card
tells her to Take a walk on the Boardwalk. She buys it, one of the two most
valuable properties on the board. The
other, Park Place, is in Yehudas portfolio, but, alas, is mortgaged.
The dice keep rolling. Grandma, a reluctant spectator, and 18-year-old Naftali,
just back from an evening of learning at
the kollel, offer suggestions to end the
game, but the dogged competitors will
have none of it. All the property has been
purchased. Abba owns a pristine strip of
yellow and red stretching from Kentucky
Avenue to Marvin Gardens. He wants to
build houses, but there is an outcry that
hes ruining the landscape and must submit to an environmental impact study.

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the same street, but the Zoning Board

says he must divide them. Abba lands
on Income Tax, and says, hell just pay
10 per cent of his cash, but the revenue
agents say, No, you must count your
property also. These are profound legal
issues and theres no higher authority to
resolve them. The official printed rules
of the game have long been lost, and
Shabbat does not allow the use of the
computer for reference or the telephone
for consultation.
The game continues under protest. Eli
has acquired St. James Place and Tennessee Avenue, and wants to buy New York
Avenue from Grandpa to gain a monopoly.
Grandpa wont sell. You have to sell! Eli
insists with a Godfather-like menace in his
voice, but Grandpa holds firm.
Grandpa draws a Community Chest
card that says he won second prize in
a beauty contest. Amidst howls of derision, he collects $10.
Yehuda lands on Park Place, but
doesnt have enough money to buy it.
Devorah will loan him the money, then
buy it from him. No! is the ensuing uproar, but Yehuda manages to buy it by
mortgaging everything he owns.
Meanwhile Eli, like a Harriman or
Vanderbilt, has been collecting railroads.
The cognoscenti ridicule such a foolish
tactic until Abba draws a card that instructs him to ride the nearest railroad
and pay the owner double. It almost puts

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Grandpa, who owns both Water Works

and the Electric Company, is accused of
violating the anti-trust laws with an illegal
monopoly. But isnt that the name of the
game? is his bewildered reply.
Play is stalled while Devorah and
Yehuda, owners of Boardwalk and Park
Place, each try to buy the others property with unrealistic offers. Grandpa finally sells New York Avenue to Eli, who
now has no money to build, while Grandpa has money but no property to build
on. And Abba, under protest, is about to
take up residence in Devorahs luxury
hotel on Pennsylvania Avenue.
All the players are refueled with $200
payments for passing Go except for the
hapless jail inmates. This infusion of
money, like an anti-recession ploy, prevents failure of even the most reckless
junk bond entrepreneur. The game continues with no end in sight.
Finally Grandma has a scheme for
closure a melavah malkah fortified
with fresh pizza that no real estate colossus could reject. The assets of each
player are totaled. The game may be
over but not the arguments.
Ed Silberfarb was a reporter for the Bergen
Record in New Jersey, then the New York
Herald Tribune where he was City Hall bureau
chief. Later, he was a public information officer for the New York City Transit Authority and
editor of one of its employee publications.

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Teen Chef Eitan Bernath

Creates the Sweetest Thanksgiving
H e i d i M a e B rat t

o whats been cooking with

Teanecks favorite teen chef?
Plenty. Since his appearance
on the Food Network show, Chopped,
which aired more than a year ago in
September 2014, Eitan Bernath, an 8th
grader at Yavneh Academy, has turned
bar mitzvah, shot up four inches in
height, and has gotten his braces off so
now his sweet smile reflects his pearly
Poised and mature, Eitan, who is
busy with a full palette of day school responsibilities, has deepened his involvement in the kosher culinary world.
Hes spent the summer attending two professional cooking schools,
took an online culinary course on the
science of cooking offered by Harvard,
grew an enviable garden of vegetables
and herbs in his familys backyard,
blogged about cooking on his website, cookwithchefeitan.com, written
columns of his own recipes for a local
magazine, and sharpened his photography skills in order to add picture-taking
of his dishes to his culinary oeuvre.
It sure is a full plate.
At times I have to juggle school
deadlines and professional deadlines,
says Eitan, who is scheduled to be a
presenter at the upcoming 2015 Hazon
Philadelphia Jewish Food Festival and a
participant at the Kosher Bloggers Conference at NYU, among other upcoming
engagements and appearances.
But it is all a lot of fun and I would
not want it any other way. Also, I have
been able to meet many people in the kosher culinary world, and that has been
We asked Eitan if he could create a
few Thanksgiving recipes exclusively
for About Our Children, and he happily
obliged. He came up with two seasonal
desserts that take advantage of fruits of
autumn: pumpkin and cranberries.
Eitans Pumpkin Pie Parfait with a
Pistachio Rosewater Crumble is a nod
to the classic holiday pie, with a twist
that is ethnic and innovative, and pays
a bit of homage to his favorite cuisine:
Likewise, in his Thanksgiving Chocolate Chip Cookies, Eitan has added cranberries, which are traditionally used to
make the sauce of the big Thanksgiving
Day turkey. The cranberries give the
cookies a chewy and fruity bite.
He makes some mean cookies,

12 About Our Children NOVEMBER 2015

Chef Eitan Bernath chops pistachios for the dessert. Photos by Jerry Szubin

says his younger brother, Yoni, 10, a 5th

grader at Yavneh Academy and among
his biggest fans.
So what creates a teen chef?
Eitan began by watching his moth-

er, Sabrina Bernath, cook. But when he

was about 9 or 10, he started requesting
more exotic food, and his mother encouraged him to try his hand at preparing his own food. He took her up on the

offer, and the first dish he made, a basic

burritobeans and cheesehas
morphed into a more complex dish,
which remains a family favorite.
He loves science and is very good at


it, says Sabrina Bernath. He loves

how cooking changes food, that scientific aspect, so cooking was a form
of play for him.
That play became a passion.
And that passion, encouraged by his
mother, and his father, Jason Bernath, is what Eitan has been following through.
He says for his greatest inspiration, he learns from YouTube, the Internet, and from the Food Network.
His fateful appearance on
Chopped began when a friend,
who knew about his cooking skills,
sent an email about an open casting
call at the Food Network. Eitan and
his mother filled out the application,
not thinking that anything would materialize, but hoping. Lo and behold,
he was called for an interview. After a
few rounds, he made the cut, and appeared on the show choosing to go
on television with his kippah, a Jewish statement that has been widely
Eitans statement of his Jewish
pride on Chopped was even recognized by, among others, Chabad,
which honored him with its Tzivos
Hashem award celebrating the Power of Jewish Children at its annual
Watching this young man cook
is a pleasure. He demonstrated how
to make the Pumpkin Pie Parfait
with a Pistachio Rosewater Crumble for a reporter recently, preparing all the ingredients, and ever the
professional, had one already in the
oven baking. The kitchen was redolent with fragrance of the pumpkin
pie spices.
They have pumpkin spice mix,
but its better to use one separately
and mix them yourself, Eitan advises. This way you can control them
Not only was it a pleasure meeting Eitan and his family, but also I
got the pleasure of sampling the
The result?
Shall we say the proof was in the
puddingor in this case, the parfait.
The verdict?
Heidi Mae Bratt is the editor of About
Our Children.

Chef Eitan Bernath busy preparing the Pumpkin Pie Parfait.

Pumpkin Pie Parfait with a Pistachio Rosewater Crumble

For Pumpkin Cream:

1 15-ounce can of pumpkin puree
2 eggs
3/4 cup of dark brown sugar
12 teaspoon ginger
12 teaspoon cinnamon
14 teaspoon cloves
14 teaspoon nutmeg
14 cup of vanilla soymilk
14 cup of nondairy creamer

Thanksgiving Chocolate Chip Cookies

For Pistachio Crumble:

1 1/2 cups shelled pistachios
1 tablespoon rose water
2 tablespoons margarine
3 tablespoons sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons cinnamon
Other: Pareve whipped cream
1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.
2. With a handheld beater, beat
pumpkin puree, eggs and sugar in a
bowl until combined.
3. Add the ginger, cinnamon, cloves,
and nutmeg to the pumpkin mixture.
4. Then add the soymilk and nondairy
creamer and beat for 2 minutes.
5. Bake in a 9-inch round deep dish
for 45 minutes.
6. While the pumpkin mixture bakes,
melt the margarine.
7. Then crush the pistachios until they
are small chunks.
8. Combine the crushed pistachios,
rose water, sugar, cinnamon and melted margarine and stir until it forms a

Photos by Eitan bernath

lumpy paste.
9. Bake the crumble at 350 degrees
for 15 minutes until its crunchy and
slightly darkened.
10. Once cooled break the crumble
into smaller pieces with your hands.
11. To assemble the parfait, layer the
crumble on the bottom of a glass,
then cover with a thick layer of the
12. Finally, top the parfait with
whipped cream and sprinkle the top
of the three layers with some remaining crumble.

(Makes about 48 cookies.)

2 sticks margarine (softened)
2/3 cup granulated sugar
1/2 cup firmly packed dark brown sugar
1 large egg
1 tsp vanilla extract
2 cups all-purpose flour
3/4 teaspoon baking soda
3/4 teaspoon salt
1/3 cup pareve chocolate chips
1/3 cup chopped walnuts
1/3 cup chopped dried cranberries
1. Preheat oven to 375
2. Cream together the
margarine, sugar, brown
sugar, in a mixer until light
and fluffy.
3. Beat in vanilla and egg
until full combined.
4. Next add in the flour,
baking soda, and salt into
the mixer and mix until
5. Finally add in the chocolate chips, walnuts, and
cranberries and mix until

6. Drop the dough by

heaping tablespoons about
two inches apart on a
cookie sheet lined with
parchment paper.
7. Bake for 9to 12 minutes.
8. Cool the cookies for
one minute on the cookie
sheets then transfer them
onto a cooling rack.
9. Once the cookies are
completely cool, store in
an airtight container.

About Our Children NOVEMBER 2015 13


Hear Ye, Hear Ye

Safeguarding the Health of Your Hearing

H e i d i M a e B rat t

ave you ever thought of getting an audiologist

evaluation for your pre-school child? Perhaps
not, but there are thousands of children in the
U.S. who have hearing loss. Hearing is critical to speech
and language development, communication, learning,
and literacy. Childhood hearing loss can be congenital,
delayed onset, acquired or progressive in nature. An
early hearing evaluation may be a way to prevent any
later problems.
About Our Children consulted Patricia E. Connelly, PhD, a pediatric audiologist at The Valley Hospital, Kireker Center for Child Development, and Donna
Szabo, AuD, director of audiology at Innovative Hearing
Solutions, for their expertise.
AOC: Why would a child see an audiologist?
Patricia Connelly: Delayed speech or language
development, that is, not meeting the developmental
milestones for producing the sounds of speech, making words, using or understanding words in meaningful
ways; for listening issues; if the child exhibits behaviors
that seem to be related to hearing; for ear infections; and
with issues having to do with academic performance.
AOC: When would they be referred to a medical

Patricia Connelly: Test results should always be
discussed with a childs pediatrician or primary care
provider. However, a referral to an otolaryngologist
(ear, nose, throat doctor) is indicated when the hearing test results demonstrate any kind of hearing loss,
transient or permanent, if examination of the ear canals
reveals drainage, blood in the ear canal, excessive wax
build-up or a foreign body.
Donna Szabo: Children should always see an ENT
first who would recommend a hearing test. If they see
an audiologist first and hearing loss is detected then
they should be referred to an ENT. Some children who
get ear infections or swimmers ear should always be
referred to an ear specialist.
AOC: What are the most common hearing problems faced by the pediatric population?
Patricia Connelly: Persistent fluid in the middle
ear from allergies, ear infections or problems with the
adenoids, transient hearing loss from middle ear fluid.
Donna Szabo: Conductive hearing loss due to ear
infections is very common in pediatrics. We are also
seeing teenagers as well as adults in our office who
experience hearing loss accompanied by tinnitus from
listening to loud music. Hearing loss in children is not

limited to these causes. Hearing loss from head trauma,

ear injuries such as a punctured ear drum or congenital
losses are also a concern for the pediatric population.
AOC: How can a parent safeguard their childs
Donna Szabo: Parents should limit the volume
and the time a child spends listening to music with
earphones. Avoid loud music or use earplugs when in
noisy environments such as parties, bar mitzvahs and
Patricia Connelly: Practice and reinforce safe lis-


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14 About Our Children NOVEMBER 2015


A Reason to Smile
tening habits. Use parental control ear
buds that are wired to limit the loudness
of the device. Insist on the use of hearing
protection earmuffs when participating
in activities with high noise levels, such
as when using gardening equipment
(mower, leaf blower, snow blower) or in
recreational activities (snowmobiling,
target shooting).
AOC: What is an acceptable level
of noise/music/sound to ensure that a
childs hearing is not compromised?
Patricia Connelly: When earphones
or ear buds are being used, the volume
should be set so that the listener can still
hear environmental sounds. This is not
only for hearing protection, but also for
personal protection and awareness of
whats going on around the child.
Donna Szabo: My rule of thumb is
that if someone other than the person

listening to music with earphones can

hear the music, it is too loud. Some personal listening devices come with output limiters and parents can set them to
safe listening levels. Adults and children
who ride the subways or are in loud environments tend to use music with earphones to drown out the noise. In doing
this they put themselves at risk for hearing loss due to noise exposure. Children
as well as young adults need to be aware
of the dangers of loud noise that doesnt
always affect their hearing at the time of
exposure but can cause problems in the
future. If they experience a decrease in
hearing and ringing in their ears following noise exposure they should see an
ENT and audiologist as soon as possible.

ADHD continued from page 9

That was one of the first things we

did educate ourselves, says Schumacher. We joined CHADD [Children and
Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder];
they have a wealth of information so
parents can stay on top of the issue and
learn how to help their child at various
stages of development. Another thing
thats important is to find someone you
can trust to care for your child.
After Codys diagnosis, the psychiatrist started the process of finding medication that would allow him to function
without affecting his personality. It took
about a year before we found the right
combo, says Schumacher, who states
they took the same route with Tyler. In
addition to the meds, we created charts
to help the kids to stay on task. We also
learned how to interact with them to
bring about positive rather than negative responses.
Marchman didnt experience the
same success with medication and opted to stick with non-prescription strategies to control Andrews disorder. In
addition to visuals and other techniques
we use at home, we also work closely
with the school to maintain balance in
the classroom, she says. There are
good days and bad days, but overall its
working well.
Indeed it is. This past spring Andrew
graduated from high school with aboveaverage grades and is now attending a
local community college. Cody and Tyler
are flourishing too.
Some people equate ADHD with IQ
but theres no correlation, says Kros.
In fact, some of the most accomplished
people in the United States have or
are believed to have had severe cases
of ADHD Bill Gates, Michael Phelps,
Steven Spielberg, even Abraham Lincoln yet they have all gone on to live
successful lives.

specialist who will inquire about family

history and perform exams to rule out
other health-related issues. Parents will
be asked a series of questions regarding
the childs lifestyle and behaviors. Teachers and other significant caregivers will
be consulted too. Information gleaned
will be evaluated alongside other criteria such as developmentally appropriate behaviors, how long symptoms have
persisted and if they appear in one or
more of the three subtypes before age
7. Doctors will then use a rating scale to
determine degree of impairment.
Although Schumacher didnt know
where to go for help with Cody, the boys
grandparents were friends with the head
of a local hospital and so consulted him.
He brought in a team of experts to evaluate Cody [and later Tyler] and he was
diagnosed with ADHD, combined type,
says Schumacher. When we found out
we were relieved; now we could work
on fixing the problem. Cody felt better
too because he could finally understand
why he behaved the way he did.
Andrews disorder wasnt addressed
so quickly. As he got older, Marchman
continued to create strategies to help
her son succeed, both at home and at
school. Then five years later while attending an academic workshop, she was
clued in. The speaker was talking about
ADD and learning disabilities when the
light bulb went on, Thats Andrew! I immediately called the pediatrician and
asked for an evaluation. By fifth grade
the diagnosis was made and an IEP [individual education plan] was in place
to help him succeed in school, says
If parents suspect their child has
ADHD, they should talk with their pediatrician, says Walkup. Equally important
is to read up on the condition and go to
reliable sources for information. There
is a number of websites that have false
data and if parents take that advice, it
can keep their child from getting help.



More than

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Heidi Mae Bratt is the editor of About Our


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At Northern Valley ENT, our team of audiologists and physicians work

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Denise Morrison Yearian is the former editor

of two parenting magazines and the mother
of three and grandmother of four.

About our Children NOVEMBER 2015 15




N O V E M B E R 2 0 15


Titantic Exhibition
at Liberty Science
Titanic: The Artifact Exhibition at The Liberty Science Center, opening Oct. 31, focuses on
the legendary RMS Titanics compelling human stories. It features more than 100 authentic artifacts set within replicas of cabins and other areas within the famous ill-fated ship.
Visitors will be drawn back in time to April 1912, when the ship embarked on its maiden
voyage and follow a chronological journey through life on the Titanic from the ships
construction to life on board, to the moments of impact and sinking, including a chance to
touch an iceberg, and the modern day efforts to recover and conserve the wreckage for
future generations. Liberty Science Center, 222 Jersey City Boulevard, Jersey City. 201200-1000. www.lsc.org.

The Big Apple Circus

Returns to the Big Apple
Big Apple Circus returns to the Big Top at Lincoln Center for the companys
38th season with an all-new show, The Grand Tour. The Grand Tour transports audiences to the 1920s, the advent of the modern travel era, when
the most adventuresome began to tour the world in ships, planes, trains, and
automobiles. With every seat less than 50 feet from the stage, audiences
attending the circus will be entertained by the world-class entertainers as
they perform acts from all over the world. Clowns, jugglers, acrobats and
aerialists from Africa, Asia, Australia, Europe, and North and South America
appear with ponies, puppies and more. Big Apple Circus, Damrosch Park
on Lincoln Center Plaza, Amsterdam Ave. and W. 62 St., Manhattan.

Wild Kratts
at bergenPAC
Power of Pictures
at The Jewish Museum
The Jewish Museum will present The Power of Pictures Family Day, a fun-filled day of
activities, on Sunday, November 15 from noon to 4 p.m. Children can design vibrant
posters at a drop-in art workshop; create a surreal family portrait; rock out in Russian
and English with the band Lyagushki; and explore the power of the camera to capture
the world around us through gallery tours of the exhibition The Power of Pictures: Early
Soviet Photography, Early Soviet Film. This event, for children age 3 and up, is free with
admission. The Jewish Museum,1105 Fifth Ave. Manhattan. 212-423-3200, www.


The Wild Kratts are back at bergenPAC

on Sunday, Nov. 15. Animated Kratt
Brothers, Martin and Chris, come to real
life in a classic Wild Kratts story. Through
hilarious pratfalls and amazing animal
wow facts, the Wild Kratts team rescues
a helpless animal friend and returns
her home. Through a mix of live footage and animation, The Kratt Brothers
produce a compelling product that children enjoy. Their live show brings their
PBS television show to life and engages
the audience. Through their adventures
the viewers learn that animals can take you anywhere in science. Two shows are
scheduled at 1 and 4:30 p.m. bergenPAC, 30 N. Van Brunt St, Englewood,
201-227-1030. www.bergenpac.org.


1. First through fifth grade students at

Ben Porat Yosef enjoyed a Discovery
Learning Day, BPYs unique STEEM
(science, technology, engineering,
English language arts, and math)
program, where they learned
estimating, measuring and comparing
the abilities of animals while testing
their own physical limits.
2. Characters such the Minions, Sponge
Bob and Elmo appear monthly at a visit
at the Character Tot Shabbat at the
Chabad Center in Franklin Lakes.
3. The Friendship Circle of Passaic
County recently sponsored its 3rd
annual family fun fundraiser walk. The
trek was part of its effort to support
its many programs for special needs
4. The Chief Rabbi of Israel, Rabbi David
Lau, recently visited the Chabad House
at Rutgers University during his final
stop on his visit to the U.S. The Chief
Rabbi was greeted by more than 100
students and faculty of Rutgers.

5. Students in Glen Rock Jewish Centers

Hebrew school classes, specifically its
Kulanu, Achat and Shtaeem classes, had
the thrill of seeing a Torah unrolled as
they were guided through the historical
highlights of the Torah by Rabbi
6. Academies at Gerrard Berman Day
School second grader Jessica Krakovsky,
third grader Brielle Berger, and second
grader Eliana Nahomove show off their
miniature sukkahs that were built using
upcycled and natural materials for
the schools annual miniature sukkah
building contest.
7. Seventh grade students at the
Jewish Community Center of Paramus/
Congregation Beth Tikvah Hebrew
School engage in online learning with
educators in Israel. Students hail from
Paramus, River Edge, New Milford,
River Vale, Cresskill and Washington

8. Who better to learn than from

a professional? Broadcaster Sara
Lee Kessler recently spoke about
interviewing skills with the Moriah 8th
graders who are participating in the
Names, Not Numbers program.



The Good Life With Kids


To Our Readers: This calendar is a day-by-day schedule of events. Although all information is as timely as we can make it, its a good idea to call to
verify details before you go.

Sunday, November 1
Boo Zoo: At the Wildlife Conservation Society
Queens Zoo Boo at the Zoo will be 11 a.m. to
4 p.m. Highlights include face-painting, crafts,
pumpkin treats for the zoos animals and more.
For information, www.queenszoo.com.
Wandering Que: The famous Wandering Que
will be at Shomrei Torah, 19-10 Morlot Ave., Fair
Lawn from noon to 9 p.m. For information, www.
Calling All Jewish Teen Girls: CTeen is hosting
the first program of the year. In addition to getting to meet the crew, the teens will be visiting a
senior home. The program is at 1 PM. It will be
at the Chabad Center, 194 Ratzer Road, Wayne.
At the kickoff event, in conjunction with Mitzvah
Day, CTeen will be visiting a senior center and
bringing joy to the seniors.

Monday, November 2
Naomi Miller Sings: The Wayne Y is holding a
special Lunch & Learn presentation at 12 pm.
The community is invited to hear Joan Limans
story of After Bad Things Happen to Good
People. Naomi Miller will sing musical excerpts
from her show, A LimanAde Life. Free. 1 Pike
Drive, Wayne, 973-595-0100.

Saturday, November 7
Bargains Galore at Beth Or: Rummage sale
sponsored by the synagogues Sisterhood offers
great deals for gently used clothing, jewelry,
shoes, toys and other items. 7 to 9:30 p.m. 56
Ridgewood Road, Township of Washington. 201664-7422, www.templebethornj.org.

Sunday, November 8
Bargains Galore at Beth Or: Rummage sale
sponsored by the synagogues Sisterhood offers
great deals for gently used clothing, jewelry,
shoes, toys and other items. 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. 56
Ridgewood Road, Township of Washington. 201664-7422. www.templebethornj.org.
Ralphs World: Experience Ralphs World, the
mega-fun musical planet where kids rock out to
high-energy tunes of Grammy nominated Ralph
Covert. For ages 3 to 8. 11:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m.
Scheuer Auditorium. The Jewish Museum, 1109
Fifth Ave, Manhattan. 212-423-3200, www.

Friday, November 13

Tot Shabbat at Temple Israel & JCC: At 11 a.m.

Opportunity to participate in age appropriate services. Located at 475 Grove St. in Ridgewood. For
more information, 201-444-9320, email office@
synagogue.org or visit www.synagogue.
Cantorial Classics: Congregation Rinat Yisrael
in Teaneck will present a concert of Cantorial
Classics, featuring cantors Yanky Lemmer and
Yaakov Motzen, on Motzei Shabbat, November 14,
at 8 p.m.

Sunday, November 15
BCHSJS The Moriah School:11 A.M. at 53
S .Woodland St., Englewood invites teens and
parents to hear Hussein Aboubakr share his connection to Israel as a former Muslim and Egyptian
prisoner, imprisoned for studying Hebrew He survived torture, his own family disowning him.
The Amit Chanukah boutique: from 1 to 5 p.m.
At Congregation AABJ&D in West Orange. If you
are a vendor or know someone who is interested
in participating, please call 973-669-8421
The Power of Pictures: The Jewish Museum
presents The Power of Pictures Family Day, from
noon to 4 p.m. Children can design vibrant posters at a drop-in art workshop, create a surreal
family portrait; rock out in Russian and English
and more. The Jewish Museum, 1109 Fifth Ave.,
Manhattan, 212-423-3200. www.thejewishmuseum.org.
Fall Boutique: Early Childhood Department
at the Kaplen JCC on the Palisades holds its
annual Fall Boutique from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Also
on Monday, November 16, 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. All
proceeds benefit the Early Childhood special programs at the Kaplen JCC on the Palisades, 411 E.
Clinton Ave., Tenafly. 201-408-1435

Tuesday, November 17
End the Anxiety: Rifka Schonfeld, director of
S.O.S presents Paul Foxman, author of The
Worried Child and Dancing With Fear at 8:45
a.m. to 4 p.m. Merkaz Hasimcha, 1898 Bay Ave.,
Brooklyn. Limited slots available. 718-382-5437

Wednesday, November 18
Asthma Awareness: Pulmonologist Dr. Steven
Kanengiser of The Valley Hospital leads the program on some of the latest asthma treatments
for children. From 7 to 8:30 p.m. Township of
Washington Public Library, 144 Woodfield Road,
Township of Washington. To register 1-800 8255391, www.valleyhealth.com/events.

Thursday, November 19

Character Tot Shabbat: Join Sponge-Bob, the

Minion, Elmo and other characters for monthly
Tot Shabbat from 4 to 5 p.m. at the Chabad
Center, 375 Pulis Ave., Franklin Lakes.

The Scoop on Sugar: Nutritionist Janet Brancato

will explain how understanding the role of carbohydrates and importance of label reading are in a
healthy diet. Session from 7 to 8:30 at The Valley
Hospital Conference Center.

Saturday, November 14

Friday, November 20

Ys Broadway Gala: Broadway stars and local

young talent team up for Wayne YMCAs annual
gala at the newly renovated Rosen PAC. The
Saturday night show, which kicks off the Rosen
PACs 2015-16 season, stars four Broadway
actors and features a performance by the Wayne
Valley High School Chamber Choir. 1 Pike Drive,
Wayne. 973-595-0100.


Family Services at Temple Israel & JCC: 6:30

p.m. Opportunity to participate in age appropriate
services. Located at 475 Grove St. in Ridgewood.
For more information, 201-444-9320, email
office@synagogue.org or visit www.synagogue.


To Add Your Event to Our Calendar

Send it to:
Calendar Editor
About Our Children
New Jersey/Rockland Jewish Media Group
1086 Teaneck Road
Teaneck, NJ 07666
or fax it to: 201-833-4959
Deadline for January issue (published December 18):
Tuesday, December 8

Please continued from page 6

He said, Mommy, they arent supposed to throw food thats bad manners! And it started up a great conversation, says Riddell. Hes pointed out
situations in public too. Just recently
we were in a restaurant and another
child was having a bad moment. Nicholas said, Mommy, that boy is standing in his seat and yelling and throwing food; hes hurting my ears! I said,
Youre right. Thats bad manners.
When you see others displaying
either good or bad manners, it can be
used as a teaching tool, says Chenkin.
Just make sure you dont contrast another childs good manners with your
childs bad behavior: Look at how
polite that child is. Why cant you be
like that? This is belittling and can be
Even after he has been grounded
in social graces, your child may need a
few gentle reminders. When he forgets
to use eating utensils, offer a one-word
cue such as fork. If hes picking his
nose say, Would you like a tissue?
If this doesnt bring the desired response, wait and discuss it in private
so as not to shame or embarrass him.
You want your child to feel good
about these new skills, so rather than

Mind Your
Start early
Between the ages of 2 and 5, children are most receptive to learning
the rules of polite conduct. Begin with
developmentally appropriate manners
and expand your expectations as they
mature. Some courtesies such as saying,
Please and Thank You, staying seated during dinner and chewing with their
mouths closed are easy to understand.
Others such as greeting strangers, shaking hands or answering the telephone
may take more time to learn.

Offer incentives
One way to motivate children is to create a manners sticker chart. Focus on
one or two manners at a time and offer
stickers for desired behavior. When your
child has a good grasp on those, add
new ones to the chart.

lecturing him about what he isnt doing, offer positive reinforcement when
he does display good manners. Verbal
praise, a hug or a pat on the back goes
a long way, says Buker.
Riddell does this. When she joined
her son for a recent classroom party,
another mother privately pointed out
Nicholass well-mannered behavior.
He was sitting there with his
hands folded, quietly encouraging the
other kids to settle down, says Riddell. When the students got up to get
their food, I told him, You were being
good and doing what the teacher told
you to do. Im very proud of you. And
his face lit up.
Above all be consistent with rules
and expectations. And remember mind
your own Ps and Qs.
I think its important to live by
example because our kids are always
watching us, says Brown. Lately
when Zachary gets out of the car, hell
run to open the car door for me just
like his dad does. Then hell say,
Wasnt I a gentleman for you? And Ill
say, Yes you were. Thank you!
Denise Morrison Yearian is the former editor of two parenting magazines and the
mother of three children and grandmother
of four.

Convey clear expectations

Be specific with regard to the manners
you want to see. Instead of saying, Mind
your manners tell your child, When we
go to the restaurant I want you to . . .
and state your expectations clearly. This
removes any ambiguity in your childs
mind and gives him opportunities to succeed. Likewise, if your child is venturing
into an unfamiliar setting, coach him on
what to expect and what your expectations for his behavior will be.

Act it out
Role-playing is a fun way to build social
confidence. Use play phones to teach
your child telephone etiquette. Let her
practice greeting and shaking hands with
her stuffed animals and dolls. Before
going out for a nice dinner, make a
special meal with good dishes at home.
Encourage your child to get dressed up
then play out the scenario so she knows
what to expect.


Bnai mitzvah
Sarah Renee Bakal, daughter
of Miriam and Todd Bakal of
Upper Saddle River, celebrated becoming a bat mitzvah
on September 26 at Temple
Israel & Jewish Community
Center, Ridgewood.

Chloe and Ethan Childs, twins
of Hope and Kenny Childs
of Fair Lawn and siblings
of Ross and MacKenzie,
celebrated becoming bnai
mitzvah on September 5 at
the Fair Lawn Jewish Center/
Congregation Bnai Israel.



Rebecca Finkel, daughter

of Dr. Diana and Steven
Finkel of Fair Lawn and sister
of Mitchell, Scott, Shane,
and Alexandra, celebrated
becoming a bat mitzvah on
October 24 at the Fair Lawn
Jewish Center/Congregation
Bnai Israel.

Jack Goodman, son of

Michelle and Jordan
Goodman of Teaneck, celebrated becoming a bar mitzvah on October 10 at Temple
Emeth in Teaneck.

Olivia Fornasieri, daughter of
Belinda and Steven Fornasieri
of Wyckoff and sister of
Leo, celebrated becoming
a bat mitzvah on October
3 at Temple Beth Rishon in

Casey Frost, daughter of
Laura and Jeff Frost of
Mahwah and sister of Megan,
celebrated becoming a bat
mitzvah on October 24
at Temple Beth Rishon in


Alyson Cohen, daughter of
Laine and Todd Cohen of
Woodcliff Lake and sister of
Jenna, celebrated becoming
a bat mitzvah on October
24 at Temple Emanuel in
Woodcliff Lake.

Elizabeth Esterow, daughter
of Laura and Ken Esterow
of Wyckoff and sister of
Alison and Sarah, celebrated
becoming a bat mitzvah on
October 10 at Temple Beth
Rishon in Wyckoff.

Kyla Ginsberg, daughter

of Amy and Seth Ginsberg
of Englewood and sister of
Bryan, celebrated becoming
a bat mitzvah on September
26 at Temple Emeth in

Eden Glick, daughter of Lily
and Robert Glick of Closter,
celebrated becoming a bat
mitzvah on October 10 at
Temple Beth El of Northern
Valley in Closter.



Noam Greenstein, son of
Ami Greenstein and Deborah
Rivel of Teaneck, and brother
of Yoni and Maya, celebrated
becoming a bar mitzvah on
October 17 at Congregation
Beth Sholom in Teaneck.

Lucrecia Kleinmann, daughter of Veronique and Raphael
Kleinmann of Oakland and
sister of Leonora, celebrated
becoming a bat mitzvah on
October 10 at the Fair Lawn
Jewish Center/Congregation
Bnai Israel.

Isabel Kossoy, daughter of
Julie and David Kossoy of Fair
Lawn and sister of Nathan
and Emma, celebrated
becoming a bat mitzvah on
October 17 at the Fair Lawn
Jewish Center/Congregation
Bnai Israel.


brother of Ilana Beth, celebrated becoming a bar

mitzvah on September 26 at
Temple Emanuel in Woodcliff

Todd Pleeter of Hawthorne,

and brother of Josh, 11,
celebrated becoming a bar
mitzvah on September 12 at
Barnert Temple in Franklin

Melissa Reifman, daughter of
Robyn and Gary Reifman of
Upper Saddle River and sister
of Stephanie and Michael,
celebrated becoming a bat
mitzvah on October 3 at
Temple Emanuel in Woodcliff

Joshua Sanders, son of

Marcie and Scott Sanders of
Saddle River and brother of
Jeremy, celebrated becoming a bar mitzvah on October
17 at Temple Emanuel in
Woodcliff Lake.

Jordana Singer, daughter

of Bonnie and Craig Singer
of Paramus and sister of
Dylan, celebrated becoming
a bat mitzvah on September
12 at Temple Beth Or in
Washington Township.

Max Stupak, son of Ilysa and
Darren Stupak of Woodcliff
Lake and brother of Sarah,
celebrated becoming a bar
mitzvah on September 5 at
Temple Emanuel in Woodcliff

Derek Schulman, son of
Heather and Glen Schulman
of Upper Saddle River and


Jamie Nassau, son of

Kimberly and Curtis Nassau
of Wyckoff and brother of
Justin, celebrated becoming
a bar mitzvah on October
10 at Temple Beth Rishon in

Lili Pitkowsky, daughter of
Rabbi Joel Pitkowsky and
Ingrid Goldfein of Teaneck,
and sister of Jonah, celebrated becoming a bat
mitzvah on October 24 at
Congregation Beth Sholom in



Max Ross Fihma, son of Patty
and Larry Fihma of Woodcliff
Lake and brother of Sam,
Robin, and Allison, celebrated
becoming a bar mitzvah
on October 10 at Temple
Emanuel in Woodcliff Lake.

Ryan Goldstein, son of Amy

and Jonathan Goldstein of
Woodcliff Lake and brother
of Sammy and Harlow, celebrated becoming a bar mitzvah on October 17 at Temple
Emanuel in Woodcliff Lake.

Andrew Pleeter, son of Sandi
Pleeter of Ridgewood and



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