The 25 Best Two-Line Jokes Ever

7/29/2015
The25BestTwoLineJokesEver.#15IsPriceless.
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The 25 Best
Two-Line
Jokes Ever.
#15 Is
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POSTED 2 WKS
22 COMMENTS
1. Parallel lines have so

much in common.
It's a shame they'll never
meet.
2. My wife accused me of
being immature.
I told her to get out of my
fort.
3. Women only call me ugly
until they find out how
much money I make. Then
they call me ugly and poor.
WTF
SPOOKY
HAPPY
SCIENCE
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JOKE
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4. How many Germans

does it take to screw in a
light bulb?
One, they're efficient and
not very funny.
5. What do you call a dog
with no legs.
It doesn't matter; it's not
going to come.
13 Real North American Laws That Will

Have You Saying, WTF? Number 4 Is
Hilarious.
6. Someone stole my
Microsoft Office and
they're gonna pay.
You have my Word.
7. What's green, fuzzy, and
SHARE
if it fell
out of a tree it
would
kill you?
A pool
table.
This Woman Was Afraid That She'd

Never Feel
8. Apparently, someone in
gets stabbed every
London
52 seconds.
Poor bastard.
9. How do you find Will
Smith in the snow?
You look for the fresh
prints.
10 Of The Most Bizarre and Disturbing

Causes of Death, As Told By Medical
Examiners.
10. I went to a really

2/8
7/29/2015
emotional wedding the

other day.
Even the cake was in tiers.
11. We have a genetic
predisposition for
diarrhea.
Runs in our jeans.
The 50 States Of America If They Were

Actually People In A Bar. California Is
Perfect.
12. A physicist sees a young

man about to jump off the
Empire State Building.
He yells "Don't do it! You
have so much potential!"
13. A hot blonde orders a
double entendre at the bar.
The bartender gave it to
her.
14. Want to hear a word I
just made up?
Plagiarism.
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15. Why do cows wear

bells?
Because their horns don't
work.
16. What did the pirate say
when he turned 80?
Aye Matey.
3/8
7/29/2015
17. To the handicapped guy

who stole my bag You can hide but you can't
run.
18. I took the shell off my
racing snail, thinking it
would make him run
faster.
If anything, it made him
more sluggish.
19. And the Lord said unto
John, "Come forth and you
will receive eternal life"
But John came fifth, and
won a toaster.
20. Q: How do you think
the unthinkable?
A: With an itheberg.
21. Someone stole my
mood ring,
I don't know how I feel
about that.
22. I tried to catch fog
yesterday,
Mist.
23. The first rule of
Alzheimer's club,
4/8
7/29/2015
Is don't talk about chess

club.
24. Why does a chicken
coop have two doors?
If it had four doors it would
be a chicken sedan.
25. I told my wife she was
drawing her eyebrows too
high.
She looked surprised.
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5/8
7/29/2015
AmberJules
0 karma
17 hours ago
studies show that people are suspicious

of stairways, because they are always up
to something.
Thread
PeterWilliams
0 karma
21 hours
ago
I opens a bar on the moon but it failed there

was no atmosphere
Thread
OliverKirby
0 karma
22 hours ago
These are mostly horrible. Puns are the

lowest form of comedy.
Thread
Lassy
0 karma
Yesterday
If you don't like what you're reading, get

off the site.
Thread
RandyLittrell
0 karma
Yesterday
How do you tell the sex of a

chromosome? You pull down it's genes!!!
Thread
Lightpourer
0 karma
Yesterday
Two galaxies walk into a bar

The barman says to the rst one "I'll
serve you, but not your friend, he's
barred."
Thread
leonora
+1 karma
Yesterday
There are some rather disgusting racist

jokes here. Can they be deleted please.
Thread
Jukah711
0 karma
3 hours
ago
People that are easily offended need to

6/8
7/29/2015
either watch where they go (or what the

look at) or avert their eyes. Also, if you
are easily offended, you shouldn't really
be looking at Tickld.
Thread
leonora
-1 karma
Yesterday
There are some rather disgusting racist

jokes here. Can they be deleted please.
Thread
Joe_Black
-2 karma
Yesterday
How often does a Pakistani woman have

a crap? Every nine months.
Thread
Joe_Black
0 karma
Yesterday
This comment has been deleted.
Joe_Black
-2 karma
Yesterday
What did the Ethiopian say to the

skeleton on his back? Get off you fat
bastard!
Thread
Joe_Black
-2 karma
Yesterday
What do you call a Pakistani lesbian?

Minjeeta.
Thread
StephanieJadeWeaver
karma
+1
Yesterday
2 scientist
walk into
party for
scientists.
The rst
walks up to
the bar and
asks for some
H2O, the 2nd
comes and
asks for some
7/8
7/29/2015
H2O too. He
dies.
Thread
SawyerStan
0 karma
Yesterday
the guy who came up with 6 really

EXCELs at jokes
Thread
SawyerStan
0 karma
Yesterday
the guy who came up with 6 really

EXCELs at jokes
Thread
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The 25 Best Two-Line Jokes Ever

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7/29/2015

1. Parallel lines have so

14 Annoying Plot Holes That Might Just

4. How many Germans

13 Real North American Laws That Will

This Woman Was Afraid That She'd

10 Of The Most Bizarre and Disturbing

10. I went to a really

emotional wedding the

The 50 States Of America If They Were

12. A physicist sees a young

15. Why do cows wear

17. To the handicapped guy

Is don't talk about chess

Share this with your friends

Have your say

studies show that people are suspicious

I opens a bar on the moon but it failed there

These are mostly horrible. Puns are the

If you don't like what you're reading, get

How do you tell the sex of a

Two galaxies walk into a bar

There are some rather disgusting racist

People that are easily offended need to

either watch where they go (or what the

There are some rather disgusting racist

How often does a Pakistani woman have

This comment has been deleted.

What did the Ethiopian say to the

What do you call a Pakistani lesbian?

the guy who came up with 6 really

the guy who came up with 6 really

NEXT ON TICKLD COMMUNITY

I really hope my landlord

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