Raising a Spiritual Child

Published on Tuesday, 03 July 2012 12:09 | Written by Swami Veda Bharati |

Many times seekers ask me questions about spiritual upbringing of children.

Often these questions are asked after a babys birth whereas the right time to ask the
question is even before getting married.
I have answered these questions in some detail in lectures and writings. Gurudeva Swami
Rama has written giving some necessary and inspiring messages.
However, the questions are still repeated. So, I shall repeat here what I have taught before
but in a summary form. At whatever stage of the presence of your child you are at, you
may start on these suggestions/instructions applicable to that stage.
First principle: children do not need to be trained. Parents need to be trained. All adults
need to be trained. Children will pick up spirituality the way they pick up language without
being taught. What is the level of spirituality in your joint life, dear parents?
2. A childs education begins minimum three years before conception. You are responsible
for the samskaras you are are creating in yourself during that period. Three years of
intensive gayatri mantra practice, and your child will be so intelligent that he will never
need to go to school. I have similarly taught appropriate Buddhist mantras to people from
Buddhist communities as three-year preparation for conceiving a child.
3. In the ancient Vedic Indian society, of which a few rare fragments are struggling to
survive today, there is a (a) special sacraments performed just before conception. There
are (b) (c) two sacraments performed during pregnancy. In the absence of formal
sacrament, or as an addition to it, keep your meditation practice with your diksha mantra
(mantra received at yoga initiation).
4. As soon as you know you are pregnant (this is addressed to both parents), ask for
gayatri mantra initiation and practice the same throughout pregrancy. People of different
religion may ask their spiritual guides to do similar practices each according to his/her
religion.
5. During pregnancy,
A. you are not only nourishing the childs body through the umbilical chord. You are (a)
creating his/her pranic body, (b) nourishing/creating his/her mind.
Whatever thoughts, feelings, emotions you carry in you, whatever impressions you give to
your mind, are passed on in a subtle way to the child in you.
B. So, see what pictures you hang in your rooms at this time, what movies you watch,
what books you read, what discourses you listen to. Do use this time to read the life
stories of spiritually advanced beings.

C. It is the duty of the spouse, the whole family and society, that they provide a peaceful,
calm, non-agitating environ for the pregnant one because you are doing this for the child,
that is, for the future constitution of the entire society.
D. I wish that the world economic system was not so intentionally hostile to women, to
mothers, to children. I wish it was not geared to destroy mothers and children. In some
societies, like India, mothers have three months maternity leave. In some crass and overexploitative economic systems they do not have a weak!
I wish that economically, and without harming their professional carriers, it was possible
for mothers to take the entire nine months off to concentrate on the child, and for the
fathers also to be able to take a long paternity leave as is happening in some societies.
E. Parents, family, meditate together at least during these 9 months.
F. Do remember that the major education of a child is during the nine months of
pregnancy. It is during these months that you are creating the child, forming/shaping the
child.
6.
A. The fourth sacrament of a child is soon after birth when (a) the parent or the family
Guru first recites OM into the childs ear (b) the mantra
Tvam vedosi
Thou art Veda; thy name is Veda (Wisdom, Knowledge, divine inspiration)
Is recited into the childs ear and (c) a bija-mantra is written on the babys tongue with a
gold stick dipped in honey thats not easy but the thought counts.
B. Thereafter there are many sacraments the details of these may be studied elsewhere.
7. In many societies
A. it is felt that the childs sub-conscious is still tuned to his/her past life. S/he is not yet
yours. In these societies no one makes purchases of childs clothes and things before birth;
does not start pulling the childs consciousness to us that early. They swathe the new born
in some sheets and that is all. Till later.
B. No one in these societies chooses the childs name beforehand for the same reason.
The time of the childs birth is immediately given to an astrologer. The astrologer matches
the time with one of the 108 stations of the moon. The figure of 108 is arrived by the
spaces between constellations each divided into four quarters. Depending on in which
quarter between which two constellations the moon was at the time of the childs birth,
accordingly, a matching syllable is chosen as prescribed for that constellation-quarter. You
may name the child beginning the name with that syllable. It is commonly called raashinaama, constellation name, and is kept secret, like a mantra, except for ceremonial

occasions. These days this rule of secrecy is not strictly followed and the same may also
be the popular name.
8. Form the habit of relaxed, deep, diaphragmatic breathing. Every child is born breathing
diaphragmatically. Later s/he sees that parents and other adults are chest breathers and
s/he quits the in-born nature and picks up the bad adult habit. Then, later in life, s/he has
to go looking for yoga classes of the Himalayan Tradition to re-learn diaphragmatic
breathing.
If the parents have formed the habit of diaphragmatic breathing and then hug the child,
his/her natural habit is re-enforced, confirmed as correct and s/he continues to breathe the
way s/he did upon birth. Otherwise, many ailments like asthma may occur. My surmise, for
which I have no scientific data, is that it is the chest-breathing adults who cause asthma i
half the cases of that disease in children. So. Hug the child, breathing diaphragmatically.
That is his/her first lesson in yoga.
9.
A. Spend some time daily this way: wrap your meditation shawl over the child, hugging the
child while doing your relaxed deep breathing and mantra.
B. Here an aside: the women in India have the anchal free-flowing corner of the sari, or a
dupattaa or chunree over the shoulders. This serves as a source of emotional protection
and feeling of security for a young child; it is like the continuity of the placenta outside the
womb. It also solves teh problem of modesty when suckling the child in public.
Place the sari-anchal, dupatta or your meditation shawl over the child and do your mantra
and relaxed breathing while suckling the child on the breast. Fathers, you, too, wrap the
meditation shawl around the child and sit silent, doing relaxed breathing. The child will
learn quietness of the mind. That is the most profound training in meditation.
C. Hum or sing sacred hymns and verses or mantras, or prayers of your own religion while
holding the child. Recite these often.
D. Play the appropriate recordings of the above as well as softer kind of classical music
even as a child is falling asleep.
10. Once the child begins to understand verbal thoughts,
A. Hold the child in your lap and hum, sing, recite from sacred books. A large number of
children are still brought up in India listening to the mother reciting the Ramayana. Fathers
need to do the same.
B. There are graphic art cartoon books of spiritual stories available by hundreds to show to
the children and to read to them from those.
C. Tell the child the stories of the spiritual accomplished heroes like the Buddha, St.
Francis, the Sufi saints and so on.

D. You may devise games of enacting the episodes from these inspiring lives.
11. When the child is 3 years old, or may be a little older, it is time to put him to sleep for
a siesta or a nights rest by giving him/her a relaxation practice in a soft meditative voice.
For this to succeed, the adults own mind needs to be calm.
12. Some cultures have lost the habit of the family praying together and eating together.
If you have lost the habit, restore it; it is URGENT and important. There is nothing like
meditating together and eating together --- besides playing together --- to create family
bonding. Later, the child will not go looking for drugs.
If you follow the above, and add your own improvisations, by the age of five you have
completed the childs spirituality training. The rest is filling in the intellectual niches and
continuing to the above practices as much as possible.
Some may ask: What to do with the effects of negative thoughts that may have arisen. For
example, someone worries that she had thought aborting the child in the early stages of
pregnancy but then changed her mind. What undesirable unconscious effect would it have
on the childs psychology and development. The answer is : do not worry about few
moments of dark thoughts that occurred. Moonlight wipes off darkness. Follow the above
guidelines, improvising on the basis of the principles implied. The human mind is very
resilient. Do not sit there and flog yourself for some past negative thought. Rejoice in the
current moonlight.
Above all, as I said in the beginning, it is the spiritual training of adults that is important;
the children will pick it up the way they pick up your language.
Also important:
Do NOT
force the child; let him/her develop;
over-protect from undesirable company; simply explain. Children have good
judgement if they have been given proper values.
DO
let the child experiment with alternatives and choose. If the foundation you have given
is firm, the edifice will hold. TRUST in the childs innate wisdom.
So, from before conception, through all these periods of child training, it is important that
you learn your own Personality Orders like:
saumyataa: generating moon like calmness and pleasantness,

saumanasyam: beautiful-mindedness,
chitta-prasaadanam: making the mind a pleasant, thereby a clear, space.

Sadhana Tattva
Or
The Science Of Seven Cultures
For Quick Evolution of the Human Being
INTRODUCTION
(a) An ounce of practice is better than tons of theory. Practice Yoga, Religion and
Philosophy in daily life and attain Self-realization.
(b)These thirty-two instructions give the essence of the Eternal Religion (Sanatana Dharma)
in its purest form. They are suitable for modern busy householders with fixed hours of work.
Modify them to suit your convenience and increase the period gradually.
(c) In the beginning take only a few practicable resolves which form a small but definite
advance over your present habits and character. In case of ill-health, pressure of work or
unavoidable engagements replace your active Sadhana by frequent remembrance of God.
HEALTH CULTURE
1. Eat moderately. Take light and simple food. Offer it to God before you eat. Have a
balanced diet.
2. Avoid chilies, garlic, onions, tamarind, etc., as far as possible. Give up tea, coffee,
smoking, betels, meat and wine entirely.
3. Fast on Ekadasi days. Take milk, fruits or roots only.
4. Practice Yoga Asana or physical exercises for fifteen to thirty minutes every day. Take a
long walk or play some vigorous games daily.
ENERGY CULTURE
5. Observe silence (Mouna) for two hours daily and four to eight hours on Sundays.

6. Observe celibacy according to your age and circumstances. Restrict the indulgence to
once a month. Decrease it gradually to once a year. Finally take a vow of abstinence for
whole life.

ETHICAL CULTURE
7. Speak the TRUTH. Speak little. Speak kindly. Speak sweetly.
8. Do not injure anyone in thought, word or deed. Be kind to all.
9. Be sincere, straightforward and open-hearted in your talks and dealings.
10. Be honest. Earn by the sweat of your brow. Do not accept any money, things or favour
unless earned lawfully. Develop nobility and integrity.
11. Control fits of anger by serenity, patience, love, mercy and tolerance. Forget and forgive.
Adapt yourself to men and events.
WILL CULTURE
12. Live without sugar for a week or month. Give up salt on Sundays.
13. Give up cards, novels, cinemas and clubs. Fly from evil company. Avoid discussions with
materialists. Do not mix with persons who have no faith in God or who criticise
your Sadhana.
14. Curtail your wants. Reduce your possessions. Have plain living and high thinking.
HEART CULTURE
15. Doing good to others is the highest religion. Do some selfless service for a few hours
every week, without egoism or expectation of reward. Do your worldly duties in the same
spirit. Work is worship. Dedicate it to God.
16. Give two to ten percent of your income in charity every month. Share what you have
with others. Let the world be your family. Remove selfishness.
17. Be humble and prostrate yourself to all beings mentally. Feel the Divine Presence
everywhere. Give up vanity, pride and hypocrisy.
18. Have unwavering faith in God, the Gita and your Guru. Make a total self-surrender to
God and pray: Thy Will be done; I want nothing. Submit to the Divine Will in all events
and happenings with equanimity.
19. See God in all beings and love them as your own Self. Do not hate anyone.

20. Remember God at all times or, at least, on rising from bed, during a pause in work and
before going to bed. Keep a Maala (rosary) in your pocket.

PSYCHIC CULTURE
21. Study one chapter or ten to twenty-five verses of the Gita or your scriptures with
meaning, daily. Learn Sanskrit, at least sufficient to understand the Gita in original.
22. Memorise the whole of the Gita, gradually. Keep it always in your pocket.
23. Read the Ramayana, the Bhagavata, the Upanishads, the Yogavasishtha or other
religious books daily or on holidays.
24. Attend religious meetings, Kirtans and Satsanga of saints at every opportunity. Organise
such functions on Sundays or holidays.
25. Visit a temple or place of worship at least once a week and arrange to hold Kirtans or
discourses there.
26. Spend holidays and leave-periods, when possible, in the company of saints or
practice Sadhana at holy places in seclusion.
SPIRITUAL CULTURE
27. Go to bed early. Get up at four oclock. Answer calls of nature, clean your mouth and
take a bath.
28. Recite some prayers and Kirtan Dhvanis. Practice Pranayama, Japa and meditation from
five to six oclock. Sit on Padma, Siddha, or Sukha Asana throughout, without movement, by
gradual practice.
29. Perform the daily Sandhya, Gayatri Japa, Nityakarma and worship, if any.
30. Write your favourite Mantra or Name of God in a notebook for ten to thirty minutes,
daily.
31. Sing the Names of God (Kirtan), prayers, Stotras and Bhajans for half to one hour at
night with family and friends.
32. Make annual resolves on the above lines. Regularity, tenacity and fixity are essential.
Record your Sadhana in a spiritual diary daily. Review it every month and correct your
failures.

Resolve Form
My Resolves:.........................................................
1. I will perform asanas, pranayama for __________ minutes daily.
2. I will take milk and fruits only in lieu of night meals once a week/fortnight/month.
3. I will observe a fast on Ekadasi days or once a month.
4. I will give up __________ (one of my cherished objects of enjoyment) once every
__________ days/months or for__________ days/months.
5. I will not indulge in any of the following more than once every __________ days/months
or for __________ months. a) smoking, b) cards, c) cinema, d) novels.
6. I will observe mouna (complete silence) for __________ minutes/hours daily and
__________ minutes/hours on Sundays.
7. I will observe Brahmacharya (celibacy) for __________ weeks/months at a time.
8. I will not utter angry, harsh or vulgar words towards anyone.
9. I will speak the truth at all costs.
10. I will not entertain hatred or evil thoughts towards anyone.
11. I will give __________ rupees of my income in charity.
12. I will perform selfless service for __________ hours daily/weekly.
13. I will do __________ malas of Japa daily.
14. I will write my Ishta mantra in a note-book daily for __________minutes or
__________pages.
15. I will study __________ slokas of the Gita daily with meaning.
16. I will maintain a daily spiritual diary.

17. I will get up at __________a.m. daily and spend __________hours in Japa and
meditation.
18. I will conduct Sankirtan with family members and friends daily for __________