1. Why ay?

do youIn case
get emerg
inoftrouble
an for
ency,
blocking
wouldn't
an exit
youwhen
run out,
you're
too,standing
thereforeinNOT
the doorw
blocking the exit?
2. Why ons,
is it when
and the some
ctions
direproductssayyoudo not
haveturn
to upside
turn it upside
down?down to read the directi
3. Why is a square meal served on round plates?
4. Why is the 0 on a phone after 1 and not before 1?
5. Which way does a compass point in space?
6. Why naked?
are people allowed to put naked statues outside but why can't we run outside
7. Why do all superheroes wear spandex?
8. If mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes?
9. Why did Mary own a little lamb?
10. If a missing
they get
persontheey?mon
sees their picture on a milk carton that offers a reward, would
11. Why can’t a baby cry while it’s inside its mother?
12. If the president were gay, would his husband be the first man?
13. If you were
e thisawish"
geniewould
what
and a personyou do?asked you this wish, "I wish you would not grant m
14. Why are Pringles curved?
15. What happens if your snot freezes in your nose?
16. Why aren't safety pins as safe as they say they are?
17. If overalls are held up by the snaps at the top, then why do they have belt loops?
18. Why isanyit that
thing
its good
else? to score under par in golf but its bad to be “under par” in
19. Is Jerry Garcia grateful to be dead?
20. Why docake people
if they
say,
'tcan
eat
"You can't it?have your cake and eat it too"? Why would someone get
21. Can bald men get lice??
22. How come popcorn isn't a vegetable?
23. Do movie producers still say lights, camera, and action when it is a dark scene?
24. Did Noah have woodpeckers on the ark? If he did, where did he keep them?
25. Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are both the same number of letters?
26. Why is snow white and ice clear? Aren't they just different forms of water?
27. Why do they put the names of football teams on baseball caps?
28. If I hadr's
mylicense?
legs amputated, would I have to change my height and weight on my drive
29. How comedon'tyou
takepay e an
off th extra 25
pric e ifcents to get
you get something
something putoff?
taken on your hamburger but they
30. Why do we wash behind our ears? Who really looks there?
31. Why ismpting
it that iftosomething
eat? says, "do not eat" on the packaging it becomes extra te
32. If you were
to gounder
anywhereou
house wan
y arrestt? and you lived in a mobile home, wouldn’t you be able
33. If our body
side,temperature
no oneomfort is c is normally
able? 98.6 degrees, how come when it's 98 degrees out
34. What would happen if you were to feed a pig some bacon?
35. If scientists
now be were seeing
ever
oplepe going
f to
romfigure
the out
future?
how to travel through time, wouldn’t we
36. Do pyromaniacs wear blazers?
37. If you don't pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed?
38. If we had a president that was a woman, would her husband be the first man?
39. Why dohewe water?
have to wait till the water starts boiling before we can put pasta into t
40. If a criminal turns himself in shouldn't he get the reward money?
41. Why are rs?blue Christmas lights so popular? Aren't red and green the traditional colo
42. Why doslower
policewhen
officers
ingchasso
wear tight
meone?clothes and dressy shoes? wouldn't that make them
43. If London Bridge is standing why is there a song about it falling down?
44. Why iswo it that
hours?
people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every t
45. Why do birds bob their heads when they walk?
46.
47. Why is it when we ask for the check in a restaurant they bring us a bill?
48. How come wine and hard liquor doesn't come in cans, but beer does?
49. When lightning strikes the ocean why don't all the fish die?
50. If people
ingsay
dinner
if you
before
desse
eat dessert
rt ruin
before
your
dinner
appetite
it willfor
ruin
dessert?
your appetite won’t eat
51. Why do they call him a Skipper when he just stands there?
52. Why does
er)?"lake" come first (Lake Michigan) and "river" come second (Mississippi Riv
53. If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
54. If I raise the volume on my radio, does it use more electricity?
55. What would happen if: Everyone was to flush their toilet at the same time?
56. Do glow-in-the-dark objects stop glowing when somebody turns the lights on?
57. If you died
ther onhalfthe
onInternational
other
the side,
Dateline,
what dayandwould
half ofyou
youdie?
were on 1 side and the o
58. If someone crashes his or her car on purpose, why is it still a car accident?
59. If people with one arm go to get their nails done, do they pay half price?
60. If the weather
f its goingman toinsays
raor "it's anot?
50% chance of rain" does that mean he has no idea i
61. If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?
62. If Sunday is the holy day of rest why do we have to get up early for church?
63. When you rom snap
your thumb,
your
r whenfingers,
o your
doesmiddle
the sound
finger
occur
hits when
the palm
yourofmiddle
your hand?
finger releases f
64. Why are you IN a movie, but your ON TV?
65. Can't anybody
n’t they be who more
specif
has a job icgoand
in the
say"employees
"employeesonly"of this
doors
place
at only"?
restaurants? Should
66. Why doatpeople
things payonground
the
to go up tall
? buildings and then put money in binoculars to look
67. What is the parking situation like at the Special Olympics?
68. If the police
crimesee do they
some
op st orone committing
go to the aonecrime
theybut
were
areonontheir
thereway
wayto?
to investigate a
69. Seeing as cupid is so good at matchmaking, does he have a girlfriend?
70. Is an alcoholic just a drunk that's scared of a hangover?
71. If shampoo comes in so many colors, why is the lather on your head always white?
72. If a table is propped up can it be propped down?
73. If our planet
another is inhabited
planet
nhabit i with ed
creatures
with creatures
made bymade God...is
by the
it possible
Devil? that there's
74. Why do they put Canadian bacon on Hawaiian Pizza?
75. How come,has an in English
the ccent?
MiniaWheat’s They're
commercials,
attachedSweets
at the back,
has awouldn't
Brooklynthey
accent
haveand
been
Wheat’s
raised in the same place?
76. Why doe people,
them? Wouldn’t
suchpeople as S.W.A.T
aim for
or Seals
their head
wearorthe
crotch?
bulletproof vests where you can se
77. If you don't pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed?
78. How come stealing from one book is plagiarism, but stealing from many is research?
79. Can you fart and burp at the same time?
80. How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?
81. Have you ever heard of a raisin that is not dry?
82. If two identical
identical? twin brothers married identical twin sisters, would there kids be
83. If your glove is too big, does it still fit like a glove?
84. Is it possible to scream at the bottom of your lungs?
85. Since youd you havedo to
if there
were
pull over whena funeral
you see
coming
a funeral
downcoming
both sides?
down the road...what woul
86. If you can
a hardware
test drive ?store
cars at the dealer's, why not test-drive lawnmowers around at
87. Is there anything easier done than said?
88. Is it possible for a narcoleptic to have insomnia?
89. Since the U.S. says United We Stand, does that offend legless people?
90. If no one buys a ticket to a movie, does the movie still play?
91. Are you able to fart in heaven?
92. Why isn't sour cream really sour?
93. Do theysing re-use
them body
wouldn’
t care
bags? Oranyway?
do they throw them away and get new ones? The people u
94. Why isn’t the Q or the Z included on the phone
95. Why doay? doctors leave the room while you change? They’re going to see you naked anyw
96. If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?
97. Do ducks sneeze?
98. Why isater,
that when
they sinkfish
o the tdie in water,
bottom?
they float to the top, but when humans die in w
99. Don’t you find it weird we teach our kids: scrub a dub dub, three men in a tub?
100 Why do they call it "morning sickness" in the middle of the afternoon?
101 Did you know there is a page 666 in The Bible?
102 If money is the root of all evil then how come churches ask for it?
103 Can vampires donate blood?
104 If a fire truck
it go was
to? on its way to a fire and it passes another fire, which fire would
105 If you could walk through the walls, wouldn’t you fall through the floor?
106 How come and when
if youyou
go
the
go
inbin the front
ack door,
door you
of a would
church,endyouupare
in the
at the
front
back
of the
of the
church?
church,
107 If your named
will? Will and you are in the army do you get worried when people say fire at
108 Why is there an L in NOEL?
109 If you eatco-co
regular
crispies
rice
th crispies
reg
wi with
ularchocolate
milk? milk will it taste the same as eating
110 Why is Bra singular and Panties plural?
111 What are those little things on the end of your shoelaces called?
112 When you open a new bag of cotton balls, are you supposed to throw the top one away?
113 If they develop a supersonic train, will they give it a whistle?
114 Do fish ever get thirsty?
115 Why can't we sneeze with our eyes open?
116 If there were a knowledge contest, would the female winner be called Miss Informed?
117 If you stick on stickers on non-stick pans, would they stick on?
118 Why don't ducks duck when you shoot at them?
119 On a hamburger bun, why is the top bun always bigger than the bottom one?
120 Why does breaking a mirror mean seven years of bad luck when seven is a lucky number??
121 Can angels eat devils food cake?
122 If I think, and therefore I am, am I just a thought?
123 If ignorance is bliss, why aren’t more people happy?
124 Why do the thernumbers
way? on the phone go one way, but the numbers on the calculator go the o
125 Why do we tie shoes to the back of a car for newly weds?
126 Is it possible to do stand-up comedy sitting down?
127 Is bad a bad word?
128 If dinosaurs had sores.........what would they be called?
129 What does the T in T-Shirt really mean?
130 Why does the label
hicles whenon it'schildren’s
for CH Tylenol tell you not to operate heavy machinery or ve
ILDREN!?
131 Why do they call front seat shotgun?
132 Why are all farms red?
133 Do bald men wash their head with soap or shampoo?
134 Why is there not a Channel 1 on TV?
135 Why are there dents in a golf ball?
136 Why are the obituaries found in the "living" section of the newspaper?
137 How can someone be dirt poor, and another be filthy rich?
138 When you put 'THE' and 'IRS' together, it forms 'THEIRS'. Coincidence? I think not?
139 What would happen if u put a humidifier and a dehumdifier in the same room?
140 Are one handed people offended when police tell them to put their hands up?
141 If you built
usea time
dissapear
machine
causebe with they
all new
didn't
parts,
exist
when
then?
you went back would the parts you
142 How can sweet and sour sauce be sweet and sour at the same time?
143 Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
144 If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
145 If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?
146 Why do black olives come in cans and green olives come in jars
147 Did Noah keep his bees in archives?
148 If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a picture of a thousand words worth?
149 If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?
150 If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?
151 What happens to an 18 hour bra after 18 hours?
152 What if you're in hell, and you're mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?
153 Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
154 When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
155 What do mermaids eat?
156 If your plan is having no plan, do you have a plan?
157 If the energizer bunny attacks someone, is he charged with battery?
158 If anything's possible, then is it possible that nothing's possible?
159 Is atheism is a non-prophet organization?
160 If a baseball
s theisstadium,
hit outd is
ofan
cthe stadium,
aught travels
by a fielder,
completely
is it a home
aroundrun
theorworld,
an out?
re-enter
161 If a policecar,
o hasan theambulance,
right
way? a a fire truck and a mail truck are all at a 4 way stop wh
162 Why are all farms red?
163 why are rubber duckies yellow when most real ducks aren't?
164 Are there female leprechauns?
165 Do judges and lawyers do jury duty?
166 Do fish sleep?
167 Would it be possible for a solar car to travel faster then the speed of light?
168 Isn't it scary
ut together?
that the word "therapist" is the same as the words "the" and "rapist" p
169 Do sheep get static cling when they rub against one another?
170 On a telephone, why does ABC start on the number 2 and not 1?
171 Do pigs pull ham strings?
172 Do dumped farmers get John Deere letters?
173 Why do radio operators say "niner" instead of just "nine"?
174 Why do people say heads up when you should duck?
175 Why did Superman wear his briefs on the outside of his tights?
176 Does anyone actually kill two birds with one stone?
177 Why do they t all clocks
call the"tim
e"clock
clo where cks?you punch your time card called a "time" clock? Aren'
178 Why does blow and suck mean the same thing when we describe something being crap?
179 Can dogs have dog days?
180 When a male ady'sishusband
elected
called
be
president
if she
andwere
his wife
elected
is called
president?
the First Lady. What would a l
181 If you are born on February 29 of a leap year, when is your birthday?
182 Do birds pee?
183 Do siamese ? twins pay for one ticket or two tickets when they go to movies and concerts
184 Why do they call it 2% milk, if its 2% fat, not milk?
185 What do you say when someone says you're in denial, but you're not?
186 If you had x-ray vision, but closed your eyes, could you still see?
187 Have youedit everforthought
everythi
ng nob
what lifeody
would
wanted
be like
credit
if your
for?name was Anonymous? You'd get cr
188 If a watercounterclockwise
spins clockwise
when iwhent itdrains
drainsininthe
thesouthern
northernhemisphere...which
hemisphere, and waterway does
spins it spin at the equator?
189 If you own a piece of land and there is an volcano on it and it ruins a
190 nearby town, do you have to pay for the property damage?
191 If you have verything
x-ray vision,
andually
actand youseecannothing?
see through anything, wouldn't you see through e
192 If it is a 50
your
mph head
per outsid
hour
e woul wind and
d youyoufeel
drive
theyour
wind? car at 50mph downwind, if you stick
193 Why does "closing up" a shop and "closing down" a shop mean the same thing?
194 Why do they ? call them "Animal Crackers" when there not even crackers...they're cookies
195 How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?
196 How do you throw away a garbage can?
197 Why in baseball
da? is it called the World Series if it is only played in the U.S.A & Cana
198 Why do old men have hair in their ears?
199 Why are things typed up but written down?
200 Why does caregiver and caretaker mean the same thing?
201 In some books, why do they have blank pages at the very end?
202 If you were to the
on afront,
planeldwou
you
going thebespeed
walking
of sound
faster than
and walked
the speed
fromofthe
sound?
back of the plane
203 If the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
204 What does OK actually mean?
205 what does the K in K-mart actually stand for?
206 Why do we feel blue? and what color does a smurf feel when they are down?
207 Why can't you eat pancakes for dinner?
208 Why do donuts have holes?
209 Why don't you hear thunder with heat lightning?
210 Do the different "M&M's"® colors taste different?
211 If your born at exactly midnight is your birthday on both those days?
212 If you're caught "between a rock and a hard place", is the rock not hard?
213 If one man here,"
says, how"it was
they
couldan
b uphillothbattle,"
be having
and troubles?
another says, "it went downhill from t
214 Why is it you can walk down a road, even if it goes uphill?
215 Why do we say "bye bye" but not "hi hi"?
216 Can blind people be dyslexic when they read Braille?
217 How do you handcuff a one-armed man?
218 Why do the ? call the angel of death an angel if all it does is bring pain and suffering
219 Why doesn't the glue in the bottle dry up?
220 If Luke took a bath, would the water be lukewarm?
221 If an anarchist
ve theirgroup
ownrnment
attained
gove political
? power, would they by principle have to dissol
222 If you decide that you're indecisive, which one are you?
223 Why is it chests?
we have the weight of the world on our shoulders but have to get it off our
224 Why does nally
everyone
came he from
speak
samt different
e place?
languages and have different accents if we all origi
225 Why do they call it a RUNNING BACK when he is running forward?
226 If you tell someone they are being judgmental aren't you being judgmental yourself?
227 Why do they call it your "bottom", when it's really in the middle of your body?
228 How come no matter what color the liquid is the froth is always white?
229 Why do British people never sound British when they sing?
230 Why do they call them guidance counselors when all counselors do is offer guidance?
231 Why do they call it "head over heels in love" If our head is always over our heels?
232 Can a hearse driver drive a corpse in the Car Pool lane?
233 Why is the name of the phobia for the fear of long words Hippopotomonstrosesquippedali
ophobia?
234 If someone youcan't see,
call peoplewhothey're
ca blind and if someone cant hear, they're deaf, so what do
n't smell?
235 How do they get those boats in those glass bottles?
236 Why would fly?superman want to leap over the tallest building in a single bound if he can
237 Why is it called a TV set when there is only one?
238 If it's zerocold
degrees
is it going
outside
to be today ? and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how
239 How did the headless horseman know where he was going?
240 Why do they call it an escalator if it takes you down?
241 Why is it called football when you hardly use your feet?
242 How come ividually?
some Little Debbie snack cakes come in a twin pack and others are wrapped ind
243 Do cows drink milk?
244 Can a guy named Nick have a 'nick'name?
245 If a person rth?
owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the ea
246 Since wehen seethey
littlejust
birdies
knock
get whened weout??
just get knocked out, what do little birdies see w
247 What is a male ladybug called?
248 Why are semi-trucks bigger than regular trucks?
249 Why is an alarm clock going "off" when it actually turns on?
250 If you wore a teflon suit, could you ever end up in a sticky situation?
251 How fast do hotcakes sell?
252
253
254 If you mated a bull dog and a shitsu, would it be called a bullshit?
255 Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?
256 Does the President have to pay taxes?
257 Why do they put "for indoor or outdoor use only" on Christmas lights?
258 If Draculaair?
has no reflection, how comes he always had such a straight parting in his h
259 If an ambulance
to help them?
is on its way to save someone, and it runs someone over, does it stop
260 Why is Grape Nuts cereal called that, when it contains neither grapes, nor nuts?
261 If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
262 Why do drugstores
prescriptions make
ilewhhe the sickalthy
walkpeople
all the
can
way
buyto cigarettes
the back of atthe
thestore
front?to get their
263 Isn't it kind
redofflag?
ominous to put your tax returns in the mail box and put up the little
264 What ever happened to an E grade? We have A,B,C,D,F but no E.
265 Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
266 Don't you find it worrying that doctors call treating you their "practice" ?
267 Do they have the word "dictionary" in the dictionary?
268 What do you call a female daddy long legs?
269 If croutons are stale bread, why do they come in airtight packages?
270 Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
271 If a transport
e thetruck
numbercarrying
he of cart a load
s inofthe
cars
pile-up?
gets into a car accident, does it increas
272 In Francer American
do people toast?
just ask for toast and get French toast? or do they have to ask fo
273 Why is it called a "drive through" if you have to stop?
274 Why does atemineral
next year?
water that has "trickled through mountains for centuries" go out of d
275 If Milli Vanilli fell in the woods, would someone else make a sound ?
276 Why are SOFTballs hard?
277 Do vampires get AIDS?
278 Why do toasters
o decentalways
human
ing wo have
be auldsetting
eat?that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which n
279 Why are they called goose bumps? Do geese get people bumps?
280 Why is it flavoring?
that lemon dishsoap is made with real lemons, but lemon juice is artificial
281 If you stole a pen from a bank then would it still be considered a bank robbery?
282 Is French kissing in France just called kissing?
283 Why can magicians make things disappear into thin air, but not thick air?
284 Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?
285 Why is the third hand on the watch called second hand?
286 Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
287 Who wasthingsthe first person
here, and to lookwhat
drink at aever
cow comes
and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly
out"?
288 What do people in China call their good plates?
289 Can you sentence a homeless man to house arrest?
290 If feathers tickle people, do they tickle birds?
291 Does a postman deliver his own mail?
292 Do the minutes
or just the
on the
movi
e itse
movie boxeslf? include the previews, credits, and special features,
293 If the professor
a hole in onaGiligan's
boat
? Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix
294 Why doesn't a chicken egg taste like chicken?
295 Why is it that cargo is transported by ship while a shipment is transported by car?
296 Does peanut butter really have butter in it?
297 Do mimes watch silent movies?
298 Is the fear of flying groundless?
299 Why do people
ing? say "You scared the living daylights out of me" when daylight is not liv
300 Why do people
their crotch
pointnwhe
to
they
their wrist
askwhen
where asking
the bathroom
for the time,
is? but people don't point to
301 Why does p "there"
your OB-GYN
anyway? leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look u
302 If somebody vanished without a trace, how do people know they are missing?
303 Why are boxing rings square?
304 Why is it called pineapple, when's there neither pine nor apple in it?
305 Why is it called eggplant, when there's no egg in it?
306 Why do people never say "it's only a game" when they're winning?
307 What was the best thing before sliced bread?
308 Why do birds have white poop?
309 Can good looking Eskimo girls be called hot?
310 Why is an elevator still called an elevator even when its going down?
311 Why is an t be
electrical
called anlet.
outlet
in called an outlet when you plug things into it? Shouldn't i
312 If love is blind, how can we believe in love at first sight?
313 If you accidentally ate your own tongue, what would it taste like?
314 Do sore thumbs really stick out?
315 Why is it our
when notyour
in deaths
house
almost dead ? your on deaths doorstep, but when your actually dead y
316 Why do we scrub Down and wash Up?
317 What's the opposite of opposite?
318 If Practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, then why practice?
319 Why are ller
toe than
nail clippers
yourngerfi nbiggerails?
than finger nail clippers when your toe nails are sma
320 Is the opposite of "out of whack" "in whack"
321 If you try to fail and succeed, what did you just do?
322 Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
323 On the periodic
in the word?table, why do some elements have symbols with letters that aren't even
324 Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep?
325 Why do they
to becalleveryone?
it “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” when they know the answer is going
326 Why does goesBugs swimming?
bunny walk around the cartoon naked, but puts a bathing suit on when he
327 If a terminator is someone who kills, shouldn't an exterminator be the opposite?
328 How many people do you need to consider it a mass suicide/murder?
329 If a robber
people
tried tostart
rob
ing?
danc
a dance club and yelled, "Everybody get down", would all the
330 Why is a woman in a suit a "business person” but a man in a dress is a "transvestite"?
331 When pigs fart, does it smell like bacon?
332 Was Dawson Named After The Creek or Was The Creek Named After Dawson?
333 Could a tanning bed kill a vampire? If not would they get a tan?
334 How long is it until your relationship is considered a long-term relationship?
335 Can you make cheese out of human breast milk?
336 IF MONEY DOES NOT GROW ON TREES, WHY DO BANKS HAVE BRANCHES?
337 If you cut off a glowworm's tail would it be delighted?
338 How do you know which armrest is yours in the movie theaters?
339 If you say something is indescribable, isn't that describing it?
340 Do Dutch people always split the bill?
341 Can you sleep forever without being in coma?
342 Why is it called butterfingers when there is no butter or fingers in it?
343 If you shine a light into a mirror, do you get twice as much light?
344 How come f Huxtible?
it was called the Cosby Show when Billy Cosby's character was named Heathclif
345 If a Truckit is
getloaded
betterwith
elfumilHelium,eage?
would it weigh less than when it was empty? Wouldn't
346 Why is the blackboard green?
347 Why do they call it a black light when it's really purple?
348 Why do hotdogs come in packs of 8 when hotdog rolls come in packs of 10?
349 What do you call male ballerinas?
350 How come the sun makes your skin darker but your hair lighter?
351 If you dig?a tunnel straight through the earth, will you come out with your feet first
352 Why are pennies bigger than dimes?
353 Did they have antiques in the olden days?
354 Are zebras black with white stripes, or white with black stripes?
355 If Pringles
sealable
are "solid? good that once you pop, you can't stop" why do they come with a re
356 Is a sleeping bag a nap sack?
357 What came first, the fruit or the color orange?
358
359 Where does the white go when the snow melts?
360 Can blind people see their dreams?
361 If there's an exception to every rule, is there an exception to that rule?
362 Why do you click on start to exit Microsoft Windows?
363 Have you ever wondered why Trix are only for kids?
364 Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
365 Why do mosto thatcars
fast have
ony road
anspeedometers
? that go up to at least 130 when you legally can't g
366 Why do they call it "getting your dog fixed" if afterwards it doesn't work anymore?
367 If Wile Coyote had enough money for all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
368 If masochists
emselves?
like to so,
and
torture
arif themselves,
en't we allwouldn't
masochist?
they do it best by not torturing th
369 Why is it called lipstick when it always comes off?
370 If when people
hey said freak
to aving
be
out"hthey are
a person?"
said to be "having a cow", when cows freak out are t
371 Aren't you aretired
rhetorical
of people
estion
qu askings you
or not?
rhetorical questions and you don't know if they
372 Why is a person that handles your money called a BROKER?
373 Why do we age? leave expensive cars in the driveway, when we keep worthless junk in the gar
374 Why do they have handicap parking spaces in front of they skating rings?
375 What happens if someone loses a lost and found box?
376 Why do they call it taking a dump? Shouldn't it be leaving a dump?
377 What if the hokey-pokey really is what it's all about?
378 Where in the nursery rhyme does it say humpty dumpty is an egg?
379 If quizzes are quizzical then what are tests?
380 Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
381 Why do banks leave the door wide open but the pens chained to the counter?
382 What would happen if an Irresistible Force met an Immovable Object?
383 What's the difference between a wise man and a wise guy?
384 If Americans throw rice at weddings, do the Chinese throw hamburgers?
385 How can you chop down a tree and then chop it up?
386 How can you hear yourself think?
387 If corn oilbaby
is made
oil made
from
om?frcorn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is
388 Is a man full of wonder a wonderful man?
389 Is a hot car cool or is a cool car hot?
390 How come thaw and unthaw mean the same thing?
391 If The Flintstones
iving and wereFlintst
ones B.C.C and before America, why did they have Flintstones Thanksg
hristmas?
392 If a Man wrong?
is talking in the forest and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still
393 Why is it uthat whenthem,
believe autperson
if b tells you there's
someone tells over a million
you there's stars
wet in somewhere,
paint the universe you
yo have to touch it to make sure
394 If you fed a bee nothing but oranges, would it start making marmalade?
395 Why is it you get a penny for your thoughts, but have to put in your two cents worth?
396 If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
397 If the speed
t? of movement is slower than the speed of light - how fast is a moving ligh
398 why do you get on a bus and a train but get into a car?
399 Why is it good to be a Daddy's girl, but bad to be a Momma's boy?
400 How can something be new and improved? if it's new, what was it improving on?
401 Is Disney world the only people trap operated by a mouse?
402 Why did they name that underwear company fruit of the loom?
403 Why do grocery
n? stores buy so many checkout line registers if they only keep 3 or 4 ope
404 Why do the same ABCtune?
song, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and Baa Baa Black Sheep all have the
405 Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
406 How does Santa get into a house that doesn't have a chimney?
407 If you get cheated by the better business bureau, who do you complain to?
408 If you're in hell, and are mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?
409 What would Geronimo say if he jumped out of an airplane?
410 What would Cheese say if they got their picture taken?
411 Why are turds pinched off at the end?
412 I know you whelmed?
can be overwhelmed, and I know you can be underwhelmed, but can you just be
413 If Barbie is so popular, then why do you have to buy her friends?
414 Why does ally
Donald
wear anyDuck
ts?panwear a towel when he comes out of the shower, when he doesn't usu
415 If you takented?
an oriental person and spin him around a few times, does he become disorie
416 How come overtones and undertones are the same thing?
417 What would you use to dilute water?
418 What should one call a male ladybird?
419 How can military troops be deployed if they have never been ployed to begin with?
420 If you lived
you?
in Siberia and you wronged the Russians government, where would they send
421 Why do theyid when
call its
it an
ur
in asteroid
yo
ass when
? its outside the hemisphere but call it a hemorrho
422 If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?
423 Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
424 Aren't all generalizations false?
425 Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
426 Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
427 Can I get arrested for running into a Fire House yelling Movie! Movie!?
428 Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
429 Could someone ever get addicted to counseling? If so, how could you treat them?
430 Did Adam and Eve have navels?
431 Did the early settlers ever go on a camping trip?
432 Did you ever
e himnotice
in a car,
e
when
stic
h you blow
ks his
in head
a dog's
outface
the he
window!
gets mad at you? But when you tak
433 Do fish get cramps after eating?
434 Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
435 Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
436 Do one legged ducks swim in circles?
437 Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as 4's?
438 Does the little mermaid wear an algebra?
439 Does the Postmaster General need a stamp of approval?
440 Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
441 How can?overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike
442 How can someone "draw a blank"?
443 How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?
444 How can there be "self help GROUPS"?
445 How come rewSuperman
a gun at him? could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone th
446 How come you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?
447 How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
448 How do you know when yogurt goes bad?
449 How do you know when you're out of invisible ink?
450 How does a shelf salesman keep his store from looking empty?
451 How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
452 How fast do you have to go to keep up with the sun so you're never in darkness?
453 How is it possible to have a civil war?
454 If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
455 If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
456 If a tree falls
fun of
in it?
the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make
457 If a tree fell on a mime in the forest, would he make a sound and would anyone care?
458 If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
459 If a woman can be a meter maid, can a man be a meter butler?
460 If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
461 If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?
462 If God dropped acid, would he see people?
463 How many e anything
people thought
to
it do
jot of thewnPost-It
on? note before it was invented but just didn't hav
464 How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?
465 If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
466 If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away?
467 If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
468 If a bus station
do I haveis where
astati
worka bus stops,
on on and
my desk?
a train station is where a train stops, why
469 If a case of the clap spreads, is it then considered a case of the applause?
470 If a cat always
hat wouldlandshappen
ifon
youits feet,tied
andbuttered
butteredbread
breadon always
top oflands
a cat?butter side down, w
471 If a chronic liar tells you he is a chronic liar do you believe him?
472 If a dog sweats through his tongue, why does he have armpits?
473 If you wereabletraveling
to hear atit?the speed of sound and you turned on your radio would you be
474 If a mute child swears, does his mother make him wash his hands with soap?
475 If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
476 If all those
? psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working
477 If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
478 If inert is to be stationary, what is ert?
479 If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why does he keep doing it?
480 If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like?
481 If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
482 If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
483 If olive oilmmer
comes drowns,
from
heolives,
res
do t wheret havedoes
to drown
baby too?
oil come from? If one synchronized swi
484 If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
485 If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?
486 If quittersead"?
never win, and winners never quit, who came up with, "Quit while you're ah
487 If soap is used to make you clean, why does it leave a scum?
488 If someone se because
has a mid-life
'the
fincancrisis dwhile
himself?
playing hide and seek, does he automatically lo
489 If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with?
490 If someone ostage
with situation?
multiple
If su personalities
pergluethreatens
is so good,
to kill
whyherself,
doesn'tisititstick
considered
to the side
a h of the tube?
491 If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why's it still #2?
492 If the cops arrest a mime, do they have to tell him he has the right to remain silent?
493 If the Energizer Bunny attacks someone, is it charged with battery?
494 If the folks
? at the psychic hotlines were really psychic, wouldn't they call you first
495 If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?
496 If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?
497 If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
498 If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
499 If women ran the Pentagon, would missiles and submarines be shaped differently?
500 If womeney wear
wear a pair
a pair
bras?
ofof
pants, a pair of glasses, and a pair of earrings, why don't th
501 If you ate pasta and anti-pasta, would you still be hungry?
502 If you bear a child, why do you have a cow?
503 If you can read the marking, isn't that end already up?
504 If you can't
y dodrink
barsandhave
rking
drive,
pa whylots? do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and wh
505 If you dive into a pool of dry ice, can you swim without getting wet?
506 If you gotyouintomoney?
a taxi and he started driving backwards, would the driver end up owing
507 If you haveall it?
a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you c
508 If you haveriseabirthday
friend who
typar
forworks them?
for the Psychic Friends Network, should you plan a surp
509 If you have an open mind why don't your brains fall out?
510 If you havere closer
your finger
than
ey app
touching
th ear",
the rearview
how can mirror
that bethat
possible?
says -- "objects in mirror a
511 If you keep trying to prove Murphy's Law, will something keep going wrong?
512 If you playin?a blank tape at full volume and have a mime for a neighbor, will he compla
513 If you put freeze-dried coffee in the microwave, will you go back in time?
514 If you spend your day doing nothing, how do you know when you're done?
515 If you steal a clean slate, does it go on your record?
516 If you take a shower, where do you put it?
517 If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?
518 If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
519 If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia can you read correctly?
520 If you're traveling
s? at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happen
521 Instead of betalking
troubled
to nsecur
your
and iplants,e?if you yell at them would they still grow, only to
522 Is a castrated pig disgruntled?
523 Is it possible to be totally partial?
524 Is it progress if a cannibal learns to eat with a fork?
525 Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
526 Is there a Dr. Salt?
527 Isn't hot water already hot?
528 Can you grow birds by planting birdseed?
529 Just before someone gets nervous, do they experience cocoons in their stomach?
530 Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?
531 Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
532 Shouldn't it be called a "near hit"?
533 Shouldn't it be some things in moderation?
534 Shouldn't there be a shorter word for "monosyllabic"?
535 There are 24 hours in a day, and 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
536 What came first the chicken or the egg?
537 What color is a chameleon on a mirror?
538 What color would a smurf turn if you choked it?
539 What did we do before the Law of Gravity was passed?
540 What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
541 What do sheep count when they can't sleep?
542 What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?
543 What does it mean if you break a mirror with a rabbits foot?
544 What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?
545 What happened to the first 6 ups?
546 What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
547 What happens when you call a 1-800 number collect?
548 What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?
549 What is another word for "thesaurus"?
550 What is the speed of dark?
551 What part of the monkey do you use a monkey wrench on?
552 What shouldt? you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plan
553 What's another word for synonym?
554 When blind butt?
people go to the bathroom, how do they know when they are done wiping their
555 When people lose weight, where does it go?
556 When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
557 When vultures are on their deathbed, are they ever tempted to eat themselves?
558 When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?
559 When your ingpet
there,
birdstarin
sees
g at cyou reading
arpeting?the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitt
560 When you're sending someone styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
561 Where are Preparations A through G?
562 Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
563 Who invented accents?
564 Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
565 Why are abuilders
Chapterafraid
11? to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren't afraid to have
566 Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
567 Why are the cabs from the Yellow Cab Company painted orange?
568 Why are there never any artist's materials in a drawing room?
569 Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
570 Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
571 Why are they called 'stands' when they're made for sitting?
572 Why are we afraid of falling? Shouldn't we be afraid of the sudden stop?
573 Why aren't there bulletproof pants?
574 Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
575 Why didn't Luke Skywalker tell Darth Vader to turn to the light side of the Force?
576 Why do airlines call flights nonstop? Won't they all stop eventually?
577 Why do bars advertise live bands? What does a dead band sound like?
578 Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
579 If your feet smell and your nose runs, are you built upside down?
580 Why do guys wear underpants?
581 Why do people who only eat natural foods drink decaffeinated coffee?
582 Why do they call it disposable douche? Is there a kind of douche you keep after using?
583 Why do they call them "apartments" when they are all stuck together?
584 Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
585 Why do they report power outages on TV?
586 Why do they sell a pound cake that only weighs 12 ounces?
587 Why do 'tug'boats push their barges?
588 Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
589 Why do we have hot water heaters?
590 Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?
591 Why do we put suits in a garment bag and garments in a suitcase?
592 Why do we sing 'Take me out to the ball game', when we are already there?
593
594
595 Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
596 Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
597 Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing?
598 Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?
599 Why doesn't "onomatopoeia" sound like what it is?
600 Why don't you ever hear about gruntled employees?
601 Why don't you ever see baby pigeons?
602 Why is aar person
not called
whoacist?
plays
a r the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race c
603 Why is a women's prison called a penal colony?
604 Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?
605 Why is it called a bust, when it stops right before the part it is named after?
606 Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one?
607 Why is it called 'after dark', when it is really after light?
608 Why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC?
609 Why is it ethat
on when
the radio?
you're
hy isWdriving
it when
and looking
a door for
is open
an address,
it's ajar,you
but turn
whendown
a jarthe
is open
volum
it's not adoor?
610 Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called a "near miss"?
611 Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?
612 Why is Mickey Mouse bigger than his dog Pluto?
613 Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
614 Why is the word "abbreviate" so long?
615 Don't you have to get up to get to the tape?
616 Why is there an expiration date on SOUR cream?
617 Why is there only ONE Monopolies Commission?
618 Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards?
619 Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
620 Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
621 Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
622 You know "Open
how most
somewhere
lse"?
packages
e say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says,
623 Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
624 After eating, do amphibians have to wait an hour before getting out of the water?
625 You know akethat
the
little
wholeindestructible
ne out
pla of black
the same
box substance?
that is used on planes, why can't they m
626 Are there seeing eye humans for blind dogs?
627 Have ex-bankers become disinterested?
628 Have ex-civil lawyers been distorted?
629 Have ex-locomotive engineers been derailed?
630 Have ex-mathematicians become dysfunctional?
631 Have ex-punsters been expunged?
632 How come toy hippos are always blue, or purple, when real hippos are brown?
633 Why is it ethat
a low
whenever
voice? you sing to the radio, your voice is higher? Even when you hav
634 Why is most lunchmeat bigger than the bread?
635 Is there aerature
certaindoestemperature
ualify
it q ataswhich
hot? it stops being qualified as cold? At what temp
636 If you were
youado pastor,
the weddin
gand
youryou were
self?getting married, would you hire a pastor, or would
637 Why is Joey short for Joe, when Joey has more letters?
638 Can someone have their head in the clouds and be down-to-earth at the same time?
639 If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they remember
640 that they forgot?
641 If you died with braces on would they take them off?
642 Why do mattresses have designs on them when they're always covered with sheets?
643 If a singer sings their own song during a karaoke party, is it considered karaoke?
644 If conjoined twins participate in sports, do they count as one or two players?
645 Why is shampoo clear but conditioner not?
646 Do cows have calf muscles?
647 How come s? French fries are not considered a vegetable, they are just deep fried potatoe
648 Do babies produce more spit than adults?
649 Why do they say "an alarm going off," if it is really going on?
650 How come only car keys are the only keys with teeth on both sides?
651 Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
652 Why is it the TWELVE days of Christmas when there is only one day of Christmas?
653 When something's
high? funny why is it called a "knee-slapper" when you actually slap your t
654 Why is it bs
that
more?
when babies are born they only weigh like 7 lbs yet the mom weighs 30 l
655 Since a running back runs forward, why is he called a running back?
656 If you die and you have a broken leg do they take the cast off?
657 Is sign language the same in languages other than English?
658 Why is "number" abbreviated as "no"? When there is no "o" in number?
659
660
661 Why do they ig one?
call the small candy bars the "fun sizes"? Wouldn't be more fun to eat a b
662 Do the security
o work?guards at airports have to go through airport security when they get t
663 Why do we s inteach
school kids
solved
that
that violence
America's
is not problems?
the answer and then have them read about war
664 Who gets to keep the pennies in a wishing well?
665 If you went ledback
her? in time and killed your mother would you disappear the moment you kil
666 If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
667 Why is Donkey Kong called "DONKEY" Kong if he's a monkey?
668 If a bunch of cats jump on top of each other, is it still called a dog pile?
669 How important
of just does
murdered
?a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead
670 Do the air bubbles that are created when you fart in water, smell when they pop?
671 When a boy that is
is named
nameder after
her
aft his mother?
dad, he is called 'Junior,' but what do you call a girl
672 Just whatinwas casetheof "Baby
an
cident
ac On Board"
? sign for? Did it help us decide which car not to hit
673 Does Hawaiian Punch come from Hawaii?
674 If your namerunch?is Mr.
CanCrunch,
yyou
unde cr andr you
water?
joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain C
675 If all of the
? Acme stuff doesn't work, why does Wile Coyote keep buying their products
676 364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from
677 strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that ?
678 Why is it bviously
when wewe laughdo? in school the teachers say do you find something funny? When o
679 Why do youWhere's havethat
toa"putpenn
extryour two
y going
centstooin"?but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"?
680 Why do people
r Machine call Machine
it? an ATM machine, but they know it's really saying Automated Telle
681 Why do people
er? say PIN number when that truly means Personal Identification Number Numb
682 Why is Christmas colors red and green when Santa's suit is red and white?
683 Why do you DELETE something on the computer, but ERASE something on paper?
684 Since there
be spelled
is a rulewrong?
that states "i" before "e" except after "c", wouldn't "science"
685 If the S.W.A.T
later? team comes to your house and breaks down your door, do they replace it
686 If the handicapped
end of the bathrooms
bathro
oms ? are for people who cant walk why do they put them at the
687 Why is it he
thatadult
on the
age eality
back
in r of a medicine
is 18? bottle it says "adult" is 12 and above, but t
688 Why do most people put more effort into their wedding than their actual marriage?
689 Why do dogs walk around in circles before lying down?
690 Can a metal plate in your head get rusted?
691 Do stuttering people stutter when they're thinking to themselves?
692 If the day before a holiday is called Christmas Eve, is the day after Christmas Adam?
693 Once you're
rnity? in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for ete
694 How come a pet?you can kill a deer and put it on your wall but it's illegal to keep them as
695 What do vegetarians feed their dogs?
696 Can someone give up lent for lent?
697 Why would Dodge make a car called Ram?
698 Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
699 Why is it when we duck they call us chicken?
700 Why is there a size 12-14, 14-16, 16-18, and so forth, but no 13, 15, and 17?
701 What did cured ham actually have?
702 If CD’s were spun in the opposite direction, would it say everything backwards?
703 If lava melts rock, wouldn’t the lava melt the volcano?
704 If a man has no fingers, can he press charges?
705 Can a blind man see his future?
706 Are children who use sign language allowed to talk with their mouth full?
707 Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
708 Why do people say, "you've been working like a dog" when dogs just sit around all day?
709 Can you write in pencil on an eraser?
710 How is it put
thatwheels
we putggage?
on
man lu on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to
711 Why is it ople
that when
really we
hum
hroughare
t humming
their nose,
and then
or their
we plug
mouths?
our nose, our humming stops? Do pe
712 Can you blow a balloon up under water?
713 Can crop circles be square?
714 How do they get the air inside the bubble wrap?
715 Why are there black lines on a basketball?
716 Does it really count in court when an atheist is sworn in under oath using a Bible?
717 Why are to there
protect
pictures
your
eyes offthe sun
romwearing
the sun? sunglasses when the purpose of sunglasses is
718 If you were
would bornyouexactly
say
were you
on 12:00
bornmidnight
in? on December 31st – January 1st, which year
719 If marriage means you fell in love, does divorce mean you climbed out?
720 Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed?
721 When a car is for sale and it has a balloon on it, does the balloon come with it?
722 If you are" parking
then when somewhere
30 your
min and
utesthearesigns
up can
in front
you park
of theinparked
the spot
cars
right
saynext
"30tominutes
you??
723 Why isn't the word 'gullible' in the dictionary?
724 When you ays see "partly
the weather
sunny
"; wha report t’s the
anddifference?
it says "partly cloudy" and then the next day it s
725 Can a person choke and die on a life savor?
726 Why are women and men's shoe sizes different?
727 What happens when you say “hi” to your friend on an airplane who's name is Jack?
728 If you took
till aa compass
north, sou
th, toeaouter space
st, andwould
west init still
space?point "magnetic north"? Is there s
729 Why is it illegal to put money in other people's parking meters?
730 Do people with big eyes see at a wider range than people with smaller eyes?
731 Do you ever
for? notice those red balls on the wires while your driving? Well what are they
732 Why do people who don’t want to go to hell bury themselves 6 ft. closer?
733 Why is the
lueSt.bird?
Louis baseball team the cardinals, but the Missouri state bird is the b
734 Why are public toilet seats never complete ovals?
735 Why is it called a soap opera when nobody sings?
736 Why does hejello
scenthave
virtuall
yadisa
smell when
ppears?
you add the powder in the water, but when it "gels" t
737 Can a unborn baby fart or burp?
738 If a baseball
round player
the bases,
hits
doesa thomehe runhome
over run
the count?
fence, but then dies before he can run a
739 If a General
se than
is a higher
a general
illneranking ss?
officer than a Major, then why is a major illness wor
740 Why don'tfloats?
they make Root Beer flavored ice cream? Wouldn't it be better than root beer
741 Why is there
akfast?never a full English dinner or tea but there is always a full English bre
742 What is the point in saying "may I ask" and then follow it up with a question?
743
744 Is it possible to be allergic to water?
745 When aneatheist
whole swears
truth
nothi
andon a Bible
ng butbefore
the truth
they since
testifythey
in court
don'tdo
believe
they have
in God?
to tell th
746 Why do cats like to dig their paws into something before they lay down on it?
747 If a pack gum,
of gum or says
also swallo
for
that eachwing
pieceit?is 10 calories, is that amount just chewing the
748 Why is there
info page
a littleincountdown
beginn
the ing
(likeof8,many
7, 6, books?
5, 4) near the bottom of the copyright
749 Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs.
750 How come only your fingers and toes get wrinkly in the shower and nothing else does?
751 Isn't it weird
Independence
that all year
theyDayround hand
your parents
you a package
tell you of
notexplosives,
to play witha fire,
lighter,
but and
on say have fun?
752 Are tomatoes fruits or vegetables?
753 How come or?lotion is colored, but when you put it on, it doesn't turn your skin that col
754 Doesn't a lightning rod on top of church show a lack of faith?
755 Are there pink lemons that make pink lemonade?
756 Why do we say "heads up" when we actually duck?
757 Whats a question with no answer called?
758 How do "do not walk on grass" signs get there?
759 When a store has double doors why do they only let you use one of them?
760 If there was
two ahalves
crumbcrumb?
ofona the table and you cut it in half, would you have two crumbs or
761 "What was Captian Hook's name before he had a hook for a hand?"
762 Do the actors
criminal
on they
Unsolved
playi
are Mysteries
ng? ever get arrested because they look just like the
763 Do bald people get dandruff?
764 Why doesn't baking soda freeze?
765 What if you
hes? were to ask a genie to grant you more than three wishes for one of you wis
766 If you made
colaty?
biscuits with chocolate milk instead of regular milk, would they taste cho
767 If you rented
new aormovie
a family
ember
andmwere have
late returning
to pay theit late
and fee?
then you died would someone you k
768 Can a person with no ears wear glasses?
769 Do the actors
they were
in theseen
nre-enactments
TVop ortraying
on Americas
the criminal)?
most wanted, ever get arrested (because
770 Are people who are allergic to nuts allergic to coconuts too?
771 If someone's peeing and halfway through they die, would they keep pissing or stop?
772 How come tatoes?
French fries are not considered vegetables, since they are just deep fried po
773 Can you still say "Put it where the sun don't shine " on a nude beach?
774 Do Jewish vampires avoid crosses or Stars of David?
775 Why is it child
that when
has imagina
adults
ry fri haveends
multiple
it's cute?
personalities it's schizophrenia, but when a
776 If you swallow a burp does it turn into a fart?
777 Can you put a gay man in a straight jacket?
778 Do they have burglar alarms at Christian bookstores?
779 Why do bullies
lve it? always ask "what’s your problem" when they're obviously not going to so
780 Do stairs go up or down?
781 When peopleeven say, funny","I’m
would
why
so tired itit'seven
not even
be funny
funny"
in the
or "my
first head
place?hurts so much it's not
782 Why is there a top line on lined paper if we never use it?
783 Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?
784 Why do the numbers on phones go down while the numbers on calculators go up?
785 If Hooters were to become a door-to-door service would they have to change
786 their name to Knockers?
787 If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit?
788 Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?
789 Can you make a candle out of your earwax?
790 When French people swear do they say pardon my English?
791 Aren't thee 'good
that got things
there
first?
that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the peopl
792 If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?
793 Can a fire truck park in the fire lane?
794 Can it be cloudy and foggy at the same time?
795 "Cute as a button" Is that supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute?
796 Can you breathe out of your nose and mouth at the same time?
797 Are marbles made of marble?
798 Why does the last piece of ice always stick to the bottom of the cup?
799 If you payy forback?a vacation
(Granted
you liand your ved) plane crashes on the way there, do you get you mone
800 Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat Macaroni?
801 Who wasthings the firsthereperson
rink
andwdto lookhat at comes
a cow and
out"?say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly
802 Who wasrst the
thing
firstthat
person
mesco outo say,t if"See
its butt"?
that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the fi
803 Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?
804 If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
805 Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?
806 Can you get cornered in a round room?
807 Why don't the hairs on your arms get split ends?
808 If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?
809 Why is it edillegal to park in a handicapped parking space but its ok to use a handicapp
toilet?
810 In that song, she'll be coming around the mountain, who is she?
811 How come derwe thansayhell'It's
cesincolder
hel than
l is supposed
hell outside'
to when
be fireisn't
anditbrimstone?
realistically always col
812 Why is it ing
thattoif eat?
something says, "do not eat" on the packaging it becomes extra tempt
813 Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?
814 Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?
815 Why are n't thetheycommercials
want peopl
the for cable
e withoutcompanies
cable to
onbuy
cable
thebutcable?
not on regular television? Do
816 "Have you outeverto Woman
noticeder?"Hitl
that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come
817 Isn't it funny
n Latin,
howand thes''tic
word
as 'politics'
in 'bloodsucking
is made up ofcreatures’?
the words 'poli' meaning 'many' i
818 Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear??
819 Why is it the
thatrestroom?
when you get out of a swimming pool, your urine is hotter when you use
820 Can mute people burp?
821 What happens if you put this side up face down while popping microwave popcorn?
822 Why is chopsticks
to eat with? one of the easiest songs to play on the piano, but the hardest thing
823 How come you play at a recital, but recite at a play?
824 If a fork were made of gold would it still be considered silverware?
825 If heat rises, then shouldn't hell be cold?
826 Why is there
then thatthe seeds
little
e onspace
ar
t insidehe outside?
strawberries, as if it was meant for a pit, and
827 Why isn'tllchocolate
beans aregetabl considered
a ve e?a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa beans, and a
828 Do they have girl’s bathrooms in gay bars?
829 Why is toilet bowl cleaning liquid only blue?
830 Why is it the
when loony
we bin?
talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into
831 Why do you go “back and forth” to town if you really must go forth before you go back?
832 Why doos shaped macaroni taste better than the normal kind?
833 Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown?
834 Why can't you get a tan on your palms?
835 If your sick
f snow,
for one
do week
you
ve toha
and onmake
one of
upthose
that day
days
in they
June?
had to cancel school because o
836 Why do dogs
face or
sniff
something
other
? dog’s bottoms to say hello, why don’t they just bark in their
837 Why do companies offer you "free gifts?" Since when has a gift NOT been free?
838 If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it?
838 You know the
orkexpression,
nights? "Don't quit your day job?" Well what do you say to people that w
raised in the same place?
t spin at the equator?
ave to touch it to make sure?
's not adoor?