21/12/2015

TowardaMorePerfectUnionTheNewYorkTimes

Magazine

TowardaMorePerfectUnion
ByDAVIDJ.GARROW

MAY9,2004

MaryBonautovividlyremembersherfirstdayasalawyeratGayand
LesbianAdvocatesandDefenders(GLAD),thesmallpublicinterestlaw
officethatrepresentsgaysandlesbiansinthesixNewEnglandstates.
''WhenIcamehereonMarch19,1990,''sherecallednotlongago,''oneof
thethingswaitingformeonmydeskwasarequestfromalesbiancouplein
westernMassachusettswhowantedtogetmarried.''Atthattime,though,
shebelievedalawsuitseekingarighttogaymarriagehadnochanceof
successinanyAmericanappellatecourt.''Itwasabsolutelythewrong
time,''shetoldme,''andIsaidno.''
Agenerationortwofromnow,March19,1990,mayappearinhistory
booksthesamewaythatanotherdateappearsinaccountsofBrownv.
BoardofEducation:Oct.6,1936,thedaythatThurgoodMarshallaccepted
afulltimejobattheN.A.A.C.P.LegalDefenseFund.Marshall,too,saidno
formorethanadecadetopetitionerswhoaskedhimtochallenge
publicschoolsegregationintheSouth.Onlyin1950,asthelegallandscape
begantoshift,didMarshallfinallysayyes.
ForBonauto,thewaitwasshorterbuttheoutcomenolessmomentous.
''Isaidnotomanypeopleovertheyears,''sheremembered,''untilIfinally
saidyes.''In1997,Bonautoandtwootherattorneys,BethRobinsonand
SusanMurray,filedalawsuitattackingtheconstitutionalityofVermont's
exclusionofgayandlesbiancouplesfromtheinstitutionofcivilmarriage.
ThecasewentallthewaytotheVermontSupremeCourt,whichin

http://www.nytimes.com/2004/05/09/magazine/towardamoreperfectunion.html?_r=0

1/14

21/12/2015

TowardaMorePerfectUnionTheNewYorkTimes

December1999ruledintheirfavorbutinvitedtheStateLegislatureto
devisearemedy.TheLegislaturerespondedbycreatingthecountry'sfirst
ever''civilunions,''whichextendedtosamesexcouplesallthelegal
benefitsofmarriagewithoutgrantingtheactualname.
AshistoricastheVermontdecisionwas,Bonautowillforeverbe
rememberedforhermoreimportantvictorylastNovember,whenthe
MassachusettsSupremeJudicialCourt,inresponsetoalawsuitshefiledon
behalfofsevensamesexcouplesseekingmarriagelicenses,handeddowna
landmarkdecision,Goodridgev.DepartmentofPublicHealth,endingthe
exclusionofgayandlesbiancouplesfromcivilmarriageinthestate.The
ramificationsofGoodridgehavebeenfeltthroughoutthecountry:public
officialsinSanFranciscoPortland,Ore.NewYorkStateandNewJersey
wereinspiredtograntmarriagelicensestosamesexcouples(allsuch
licensinghassincebeenhalted),andapoliticalbacklashtookform,
culminatinginPresidentGeorgeW.Bush'scallinlateFebruaryfora
federalconstitutionalamendmentto''protectmarriage,''asheputit,from
''activistjudgesandlocalofficials.''
JustaswiththesocietywidedesegregationofAmericanlifethatslowly
followedfromBrownv.BoardofEducation50yearsagothismonth,what
willoccuronMay17,whenMassachusettsbeginsissuingfullfledged
marriagelicensestosamesexcouples,willmarkthebeginningofanew
socialera.KevinCathcart,executivedirectorofLambdaLegalDefenseand
EducationFund,America'soldestgayrightslawgroup,observesthatonce
fullycredentialedgaymarriagesbecomeareality,''youcan'tputthe
toothpastebackinthetube.''Manyindividualsandorganizationshave
helpedusherintheeraofmarriageequality,butBonauto'scontributionhas
beenexceptional.KateKendell,executivedirectoroftheNationalCenter
forLesbianRights,saysthat''Massachusettshashadthesuccessitdid
becauseofMaryBonauto.''Bonauto'spatient,quietlypassionateyetself
effacingadvocacymayhaveasfarreachinganeffectonAmericaasdidthat
ofThurgoodMarshall.AsBethRobinsonnotes,themarriageequality
movement''doesn'tstandontheshouldersofanyoneperson,''butthereis
nodoubtthat''theoneindividualpersonwho'sdonethemostformarriage

http://www.nytimes.com/2004/05/09/magazine/towardamoreperfectunion.html?_r=0

2/14

21/12/2015

TowardaMorePerfectUnionTheNewYorkTimes

isMary.''
AnativeofNewburgh,N.Y.,Bonautogrewupwithherthreebrothers
inwhatshedescribesasa''highlyCatholic''family.Herfatherworkedasa
pharmacistandhermotherasateacher.Bonautofirstcametotermswith
herlesbianidentityasanundergraduateatHamiltonCollegeinClinton,
N.Y.,butonlyduringherfirstyearoflawschoolatNortheasternUniversity
inBostonin198485didshecomeouttoherparents.Whenshejoineda
smalllawfirminPortland,Me.,in1987,Bonautowasoneofonlythree
openlygaylawyersinprivatepracticeinthestate.InPortland,shealsomet
herlifepartner,JenniferWriggins,nowaprofessorattheUniversityof
MaineSchoolofLaw.
Thelate1980'swereanauspicioustimeforayounglawyerinNew
Englandwithacommitmenttogayequality.In1989,Massachusetts
becamethesecondstate,afterWisconsin,toprovideantidiscrimination
protectiontogaysinemployment,housingandpublicaccommodations.
WhenGLADadvertisedforalawyertohelpenforcethenewlaw,Bonauto
jumpedattheopportunityandmovedbacktoBoston,accompaniedby
Wriggins.Bonauto'sworkatGLADintheearly90'staughther,shesays,
''howtobuild,brickbybrick,protectionsforgayfolks,''evenwhileshe
continuedtosaynoonmarriage.
Butthemarriagequestionwasstillverymuchonhermind.GLADwas
inundatedwithrequestsfromgaysandlesbiansforhelpwithlegal
difficultieschildcustodyandadoption,healthbenefitscoverage,
inheritanceandSocialSecuritysurvivorbenefitsthatwouldnothave
existedifsamesexcouplesenjoyedthelegalprotectionsandbenefitsof
marriage.Someofthoserequests,Bonautosays,are''searedintomysoul''
becausetheycamefrom''peoplewhoarecallingmesobbingfromapay
phonebecausetheirpartnerof24yearshasjustdiedandthesocalled
familyisinthehousecleaningitout.''Butprudenceprevailed.''Iwould
havelovedtohavebeenmarriedmyselfandwouldhavelovedtohavefiled
amarriagecase,''shesays,but''youhavetoapplyyourstrategicsensibility
toit.''

http://www.nytimes.com/2004/05/09/magazine/towardamoreperfectunion.html?_r=0

3/14

21/12/2015

TowardaMorePerfectUnionTheNewYorkTimes

Intheearly90's,thestrategicandpoliticaldiscussionsamonggay
lawyersaboutmarriagewereintense.Themostoutspokenmarriage
advocatewasEvanWolfson,aLambdalawyerwhohadwrittenaprescient
studentpaperatHarvardLawSchoolin1983titled''SameSexMarriage
andMorality:TheHumanRightsVisionoftheConstitution.''Asimilarly
obscurearticle,byalittleknownlawyernamedNathanMargold,firstset
forththeconstitutionalgameplanthatThurgoodMarshallfollowedallthe
waytoBrownv.BoardofEducation.Wolfson'sdeepcommitmentto
pursuingthemarriageissueranintooppositionfromhiscolleaguesand
peers.Someofthemarguedthatmarriagewassounappealingan
institutionthataccesstoitshouldnotbeagaycivilrightspriorityothers
claimedthatirrespectiveofitsdesirability,pursuingarighttomarriagewas
anunattainablegoal.Thesedisagreementsoftenwerearticulatedat
meetingsoftheRoundtable,atwiceyearlynationalgatheringofgayrights
litigatorsthatoriginatedinthemid80's.WhenBonautoattendedherfirst
meetinginApril1990,Wolfsongainedacrucialally.''IrememberEvan
comingoverandintroducinghimself,''sherecalls.''HeandI,atthatpointI
think,weretwooftheveryfewpeoplewhofeltlikemarriagewassomething
thatneededtobefoughtforinthecourts.''
Thedisagreementscrystallizedin1991,whenseveralsamesexcouples
inHawaiipersuadedanattorneynamedDanFoley,aformerlegaldirector
oftheAmericanCivilLibertiesUnion'sHawaiiaffiliate,tofilea
constitutionalcasethere.BoththeA.C.L.U.andLambdadeclinedto
supportthechallenge,butWolfsontookanactiverole.Mostgaylawyers
gavethecaselittlethought,buttwoyearsafterFoleyinitiatedit,theHawaii
SupremeCourtissuedasurprisingrulingthatthestatewouldhaveto
demonstratea''compelling''reasonthesamelegalstandardappliedin
racediscriminationcasesinordertocontinueexcludingsamesex
couplesfromcivilmarriage.
''OncetheHawaiicourtruled,wewereinadifferentworld,''Wolfson
says.''Therewasthissenseofpossibility,thissenseofhope,thissenseof
empowerment.''Bonauto,too,sawitasaseachangemoment,especially
forpreviouslyambivalentgaylawyers:''ItwasreallywhentheHawaii

http://www.nytimes.com/2004/05/09/magazine/towardamoreperfectunion.html?_r=0

4/14

21/12/2015

TowardaMorePerfectUnionTheNewYorkTimes

SupremeCourtruledinMay1993thatpeoplesaidwehavetostandupand
takenoticeofthis.Ifacourtisgoingtostandwithus,shouldn'twebe
standingupforourowncommunity?''Thehighcourtreturnedthecasetoa
lowercourtfortrial,butfewexpectedthatthestatecouldmeettheexacting
standardthecourthadimposed.Wolfsoncelebratedwhathecalleda
''seismicwin''anddeclaredthatgayAmericansstood''onthevergeof
victory.''
Butmorethanthreeyearspassedbeforeatrialjudgefinallyruledthat
thestateindeedhadnotmettheHawaiiSupremeCourt'stest.Inthe
meantime,politicaloppositionmushroomed,bothnationallyandin
Hawaii.InWashington,opponentsofgaymarriagewonthesupportof
PresidentBillClintoninpassingintolawthefederalDefenseofMarriage
Act,whichlimitsfederalrecognitiontomalefemalemarriagesanddecrees
thatnostatehastorecognizesamesexmarriagesthatareperformed
elsewhere.InHonolulu,theStateLegislaturevotedinearly1997toplacea
constitutionalamendmentontheNovember1998stateballotthatwould
giveittheexclusivepowertodefinemarriage.
Proponentsofgaymarriageeagerlyawaitedadecisiveaffirmationby
Hawaii'stopcourt,butmonthspassedwithnoruling.Thecourtstillhad
notspokenwhenHawaiivotersadoptedtheantigaymarriage
constitutionalamendmentbyamarginof69to29percent.Foleyand
Wolfson'smuchheraldedvictoryhadturnedintoasourdefeat.
AsdishearteningasHawaiiwas,theoriginalconstitutionalvictorywas
anencouragingindicationofthepersuasivenessoftheequalityargument.
EarlyintheHawaiistruggle,WolfsonurgedBonautoandotherstoholdoff
onfilinganothermarriagecaseinasecondstate,butastheHawaiilogjam
draggedinto1997,Bonauto'spatiencewaned.''Iwasreallyuncomfortable
withleavingHawaiiouttherealone,''sherecalls.''Ijustfeltthatthiscan't
beaboutonestate.''
InJuly1997,astheHawaiicaselanguished,Bonauto,Robinsonand
MurrayfiledtheircaseinVermont.Hawaiihaddemonstratedthatawell

http://www.nytimes.com/2004/05/09/magazine/towardamoreperfectunion.html?_r=0

5/14

21/12/2015

TowardaMorePerfectUnionTheNewYorkTimes

wroughtlawsuit,strongconstitutionalargumentsandasympatheticcourt
couldproduceavictorybutwerenotnecessarilysufficienttoprotectand
preserveit.Vermont,bycontrast,hadseveraldecisiveadvantages.Three
yearsearlier,thestateSupremeCourtissuedapioneeringopinion
approvingsecondparentadoptionforsamesexcouples,thusevidencing
sympathyforgayfamilies.What'smore,Vermont'sstateConstitution,
unlikeHawaii's,wasdifficulttoamend,creatingahighhurdleforanyone
eagertooverturnastateconstitutionaljudicialdecision.Inaddition,
RobinsonandMurrayhadbegunlayingcrucialpoliticalgroundworkby
creatingtheVermontFreedomtoMarryTaskForce,whichconducted
publiceducationworkofasortthathadneveroccurredintandemwiththe
Hawaiicase.
ThecasethatBonautoandhercolleaguesfiledassertedthatunderthe
''commonbenefits''clauseinthestateConstitution(Vermont'smore
expansiveversionofthefederalequalprotectionclause),theexclusionof
gaycouplesfromtherightsandbenefitsofmarriagewasunconstitutional.
Atrialjudgerejectedtheircomplaint,butonappealtheVermontSupreme
Courtendorsedtheirchallengetothestate'sdiscriminatoryconduct.That
December1999ruling,Bakerv.State,wasagayrightslandmark,butit
nonethelessleftthelawyers''crushed,''Robinsonremembers,becausethe
highcourtcalledforlegislativeactionratherthanorderingthatmarriage
licensesbeissuedtogaycouples.''Itwasapoliticaldecisionandnotalegal
decision,''Robinsonsays.WhentheVermontLegislaturetookupthe
court'sinvitation,aresultwas''civilunions,''inwhichthelegalbenefitsof
matrimonywereextendedtogaycouplesbuttheallpowerfulterm
''marriage''waswithheld.ThedistinctionevokedaphrasethatThurgood
Marshallknewalltoowell:''separatebutequal,''thepreBrownlabelfor
thefictionalfairnessofsegregation.
Bonautodecidedtotryagain,thistimeinMassachusetts,whereboth
thestateConstitutionandthehighcourtofferedadvantagessimilarto
thoseofVermont.Asummer2000meetingofthestate'sgayactivists
endorsedherresolve,andinApril2001shefiledGoodridge,hersecond
righttomarrycase,inBoston.Onbehalfofsevensamesexcouples,

http://www.nytimes.com/2004/05/09/magazine/towardamoreperfectunion.html?_r=0

6/14

21/12/2015

TowardaMorePerfectUnionTheNewYorkTimes

Bonautoassertedthatthestate'srefusaltograntlicensestogayandlesbian
lifepartnersviolatedMassachusetts'sconstitutionalequalityprovisions.
Thetrialcourtagainsaidno,andBonautoappealedtotheMassachusetts
SupremeJudicialCourt.Whenshearguedhercasetothesevenjusticeson
March4oflastyear,shebeseechedthemnottododgethequestion.Fearful
ofhowVermont'shighcourthadrenderedadecisionthatallowedfora
remedythatstoppedshortofactualmarriage,Bonautoinsistedthat''civil
unions''wouldnotsatisfytherequirementsoftheMassachusetts
Constitution.''TheVermontapproachisnotthebestapproachforthis
Courttotake,''sheemphasized,for''whenitcomestomarriage,therereally
isnosuchthingasseparatingtheword'marriage'fromtheprotectionsit
provides.Thereasonforthatisthatoneofthemostimportantprotections
ofmarriageistheword,becausethewordiswhatconveysthestatusthat
everyoneunderstandsastheultimateexpressionofloveandcommitment.''
TofollowVermont,shecontinued,by''creatingaseparatesystem,justfor
gaypeople,simplyperpetuatesthestigmaofexclusionthatwenowface
becauseitwouldessentiallybebrandinggaypeopleandourrelationships
asunworthyofthiscivilinstitutionofmarriage.''
WhileBonautowaitedforadecision,thelegalclimateimproved.Inthe
earlysummerof2003,theCanadianprovincesofOntarioandBritish
ColumbiajoinedBelgiumandtheNetherlandsinauthorizingsamesex
marriages.LateinJune,theUnitedStatesSupremeCourt,inLawrencev.
Texas,emphaticallyreverseditsinfamous1986decisionBowersv.
Hardwick,whichhadupheldthecriminalizationofprivate,consensualgay
andlesbiansex.Thehighcourt'svoidingofTexas'santisodomylaw
surprisedalmostnoone,butmostobserversexpectedanarrowruling
strikingdownonlythoselaws,likeTexas's,thatexpresslysingledoutgays.
Instead,JusticeAnthonyM.Kennedy'smajorityopinionoverturnedall
remainingAmericansodomylawsandexplicitlyrepudiatedBowers.
Kennedyenergeticallydeploredgovernmenthostilitytowardhomosexuals,
andhisexpansivelanguageseemedtoopenthedoortofulllegalequality
forgayAmericansjustasBrownin1954hadopenedwidethedoortoracial
equality.

http://www.nytimes.com/2004/05/09/magazine/towardamoreperfectunion.html?_r=0

7/14

21/12/2015

TowardaMorePerfectUnionTheNewYorkTimes

AlthoughKennedystatedthatLawrence''doesnotinvolvewhetherthe
governmentmustgiveformalrecognitiontoanyrelationshipthat
homosexualpersonsseektoenter,''healsowrotethatsodomyprohibitions
''seektocontrolapersonalrelationshipthat,whetherornotentitledto
formalrecognitioninthelaw,iswithinthelibertyofpersonstochoose.''
Thephrase''whetherornot''wasexpresslysuggestive,andanangrydissent
byJusticeAntoninScaliadeclaredthatthemajority'sopiniondestroyedthe
possibilityofaconstitutionaldistinctionbetweenheterosexualand
homosexualmarriages.
Fivemonthslater,theMassachusettsSupremeJudicialCourthanded
downtherulingforwhichBonautohadbeenwaiting:anunparalleled43
decisionendingtheexclusionofgaycouplesfrommarriage.Themoral
influenceoftheLawrencedecisionontheMassachusettscourtwasmade
explicitattheverybeginningoftheGoodridgemajorityopinion,inwhich
MassachusettsChiefJusticeMargaretH.MarshallcitedLawrencethree
timesinherfirstthreeparagraphs.AsMattColes,headoftheAmerican
CivilLibertiesUnion'sLesbianandGayRightsProject,observes,Goodridge
''answeredthatquestionthatLawrencebegged.''Andwhile''Goodridgeis
theearthquake,''Colessays,''Goodridgeistheearthquakebecauseof
Lawrence.''
Bonautowassurprisedwhensomeobserversinterpretedthe
MassachusettsSupremeJudicialCourt's180daystayoftheruling,until
May17,asanunspokeninvitationtoMassachusettspoliticianstosubstitute
Vermontstylecivilunionsforactualmarriagelicenses.Butwhen
legislatorsformallyaskedthecourtforitsopiniononsuchamaneuver,the
fourmembermajoritybrusquelyreiteratedthatGoodridgewas''nota
matterofsocialpolicybutofconstitutionalinterpretation.''ThatFeb.4
announcementmadegaymarriagealegalcertaintyinMassachusettscome
May17,notwithstandingtheeffortsofGov.MittRomneytoblock
implementationofthecourt'smandate.
Bonautoremainswarilypreparedtoheadoffanylastminuteeffortby
thegovernor.Sheemphasizesthat''myfirstpriorityismaintainingthis

http://www.nytimes.com/2004/05/09/magazine/towardamoreperfectunion.html?_r=0

8/14

21/12/2015

TowardaMorePerfectUnionTheNewYorkTimes

victoryhereonthegroundinMassachusetts.''Mostopponentsofgay
marriagearereluctantlybackingaconstitutionalamendmentin
Massachusettsthatwouldprohibitgaymarriageswhileestablishingfully
equivalentcivilunions,butthemeasuremustobtainmajoritysupportin
the20052006sessionoftheLegislatureandthenwinapopularmajority
ontheNovember2006statewideballot.Opponentscanalsoputamore
extrememeasure,simplybanninggaymarriagesandcivilunions,before
Massachusettsvoters,butnotuntilNovember2008.Thusgaymarriages
willhavebeenhometownrealitiesinMassachusettsforatleasttwoyears,if
notfour,beforeballotstooverturnGoodridgecanbecast.Statewidepolls
showthat40percentofMassachusettsresidentsalreadysupportgay
marriages,andanother11percentexpressnointerestintheissue.Bonauto
saysthosenumberswillincreaseoncevotersseethat''gayfamilieshave
beenstrengthened,andnothinghasbeentakenawayfromyourfamily''in
themonthsandyearsafterMay17.
''Massachusettswasthebreakthroughwehadbeenbuildingallthese
10or12yearsofworktoachieve,''Wolfsonsays.TheimpactofGoodridge
ongaypeople,Bonautoadds,isimmeasurable.''Ithastakenmybreath
away,''shesays,''tohavesomanypeoplecomeuptomeandsay:'Ihadno
ideaallthewaysinwhichIhadincorporatedmysecondclasscitizenstatus
anddidn'tevenknowit.ForthefirsttimeIactuallyrealizeIamafulland
equalcitizen,andIdidn'tevenrealizealltheaccommodationsIhadbeen
making.'That,Ithink,iswhatistransformative.''
ButGoodridge'simpactwasfeltnotonlybygays.Hostilereaction
followedjustaswithHawaiiadecadeago,includingcriticalwordsby
PresidentBushinhisStateoftheUnionaddressonJan.20.Amongthose
intheaudiencethateveningwasthenewlyelectedSanFranciscomayor,
GavinNewsom,andBush'sremarksstartedNewsomthinking.
Twoweekslater,NewsominstructedhistopaidestolookintohowSan
Franciscocouldstartissuingmarriagelicensestohomosexualcouples.
Newsom'schiefofstaff,SteveKawa,phonedKateKendelloftheSan
FranciscobasedNationalCenterforLesbianRightslateontheafternoonof

http://www.nytimes.com/2004/05/09/magazine/towardamoreperfectunion.html?_r=0

9/14

21/12/2015

TowardaMorePerfectUnionTheNewYorkTimes

Friday,Feb.6.''Themayorwantstobeginissuingmarriagelicensesto
lesbianandgaycouples,''KawatoldanastoundedKendell.OnMonday,
KendellsuggestedtoNewsom'sstaffthatthepioneeringlesbianrights
activistsPhyllisLyonandDelMartinbecomethecity'sfirstlegallywedgay
couple.Threedayslater,onFeb.12,LyonandMartin,ages79and83,were
marriedatCityHall.Literallyovernight,Newsom'sinitiativetransformed
thegaymarriagestoryfromdryreportsofcourtrulingsintovividpictures
ofhundredsofhomosexualcouplesstandinginline,sometimesintherain,
outsideSanFranciscoCityHallinordertofollowinLyonandMartin's
footsteps.
PresidentBushuppedthepoliticalanteonFeb.24when,warningthat
the1996federalDefenseofMarriageLawmightnotwithstandjudicial
scrutiny,heendorsedafederalconstitutionalamendmenttodefine
marriageasa''unionofamanandawoman.''ReactiontoBush's
declarationwaslargelylukewarm,evenamongsomeRepublican
Congressionalleaders.Butwhenthegaymenandwomenofthe
RoundtableassembledonMarch1foralongscheduledmeeting,many
worriedthatfederalinterventioncouldupsettheircarefulstatelevel
strategy.EvanWolfsonpushedhiscolleaguestorespondtothedramatic
accelerationofeventsbyintensifyingtheirownlitigationinitiatives.Some
disagreed,worriedthatfurtherevents,ontopofMassachusettsandSan
Francisco,couldfuelareactionarybacklash.
Noconsensusemerged,buttwodayslateranotherunexpectedchapter
inthestruggleopenedinPortland,Ore.,whentheMultnomahCounty
Commissionauthorizedtheissuanceofmarriagelicensestosamesex
couples.ThePortlandeventsreceivedfarlessmediaattentionthanSan
Francisco's,buttheMultnomahmarriagessoonlookedmorelegallysecure
thantheCaliforniaones.OnMarch11thestateSupremeCourtorderedSan
Franciscoofficialstostopissuinglicensestosamesexcouples,andjoyous
scenesatSanFranciscoCityHallcametoanabruptandtearfulendafter
4,037samesexmarriages.TheCaliforniacourtisnowconsideringwhether
toholdtheSanFranciscomarriagesnullandvoid,andarulingdisallowing
thelicensesispossiblesometimethissummer.InOregon,atrialjudgehas

http://www.nytimes.com/2004/05/09/magazine/towardamoreperfectunion.html?_r=0

10/14

21/12/2015

TowardaMorePerfectUnionTheNewYorkTimes

upheldtheMultnomahmarriagesbutalsoorderedthecountytohaltsuch
licensingatleasttemporarily.Acceleratedappellatereviewmayputthe
questionbeforetheOregonSupremeCourtthisfall,butconservativeshope
toforceapopularvoteonanantigaymarriagestateconstitutional
amendmenteitherthisNovemberorin2006.
ThegayandlesbianRoundtablelitigatorsenvisionfirstMassachusetts
andthenperhapsOregonembracingfullmarriageequalitywithinthenext
12months.Lambdaalsohaspotentiallypromisingconstitutional
challengespendinginNewJersey,NewYorkandWashingtonstatecourts
thatcouldprovesuccessfulwithinthenextfewyears.Longershotmarriage
casessomeofthembroughtbyattorneysnotactinginconcertwiththe
RoundtableorganizationsarealsounderwayinArizona,Florida,Indiana
andNorthCarolina.
Butratherthandwellonstatebystateprognoses,Bonautoandother
gayandlesbianlitigatorsprivatelyfocusupondelayinganyfederalcourt
considerationofsamesexmarriageissuesforagoodmanyyears.''What's
happenedinMassachusettshasbeenabeaconoffairness,hopeand
equalityacrossthecountry,''Bonautosays,but''Ithinkthatwhatitboils
downtoisavoidingthefederalpiece''foraslongaspossible.''Ihavetried
topleadwithlawyersnottogetoverlyambitiousaboutgoingintocourtand
challengingthefederalDefenseofMarriageAct,''shesays.''Ithinkalotof
timesthesecaseswouldariseastaxcasesbywealthyindividuals''whopay
disproportionatesumsbecauseoftheunavailabilityofmarriage.''Ican't
thinkofalesssympatheticprospect,''Bonautosays.''Iwouldlikethe
opportunityforstatestowrestlewiththisbeforewehavetogointofederal
court.''
OneimmediatechallengeBonautofacesisanattemptbyGovernor
Romneytoorderlocalofficialstoenforcealongignored1913statutethat
proscribestheissuanceofmarriagelicensestooutofstatecoupleswhose
marriagewouldbe''void''intheirhomestate.Romneywantstownclerksto
begindemandingproofofresidencyfrommarriageapplicants,but
individualclerkswillfacethechoiceofhowtoapplythestateinstructions,

http://www.nytimes.com/2004/05/09/magazine/towardamoreperfectunion.html?_r=0

11/14

21/12/2015

TowardaMorePerfectUnionTheNewYorkTimes

couplebycouple.
That'sexactlythecontextEvanWolfsonwants.AfterMay17,he
predicts,''foraperiodoftimetherewillbeapatchworkinwhichcouples
havethismixofexperiences,andinwhichnongaypeople,primarily,sitting
ontheothersideofthosedesksatthebank,attheclerk'soffice,atthe
schoolregistrar's,aregoingtohavetonowlookatarealfamilyandsay,
'AmIgoingtobetheonetosaythey'renotmarried?'''
Wolfsonsaysthatfirmbutpoliteinsistencewillprevail.''Thesecouples
aremarried,''hesays.''They'reasmarriedasanypeopleontheplanet.They
arelegallymarried.''AndfirstinMassachusetts,andthenprobablyin
Oregonandelsewhere,theevidencerapidlywillmount,inaphraseboth
BonautoandWolfsonspontaneouslyemploy,that''theskydoesn'tfall''
oncegaycouplesreceiveunquestionablyvalidstatemarriagelicenses.
''Movingitfromahypothetical,whenit'seasytobe'againstit,'toareality
of'thesearerealpeople,andwhodoesithurt?'''Wolfsonpredicts,will
fundamentallyalterthedebate.
BonautosaysthatthestrugglethatwillclimaxonMay17is
strengtheningAmerica.''Becauseofgayfolkswantingtogetmarried,''she
says,''therestofthecountryishavingateachinaboutwhatmarriageis.''
ThemostimportantlessonMassachusettsillustrates,sheadds,isthat''it's
marriageitselfthatissovaluableasaninstitution,andthatit'smorethan
thesumofitslegalparts.''
Whenaskedtotalkaboutherself,Bonautoinsiststhat''it'stotallynot
aboutme.''SincesheandherpartnerJenniferWrigginsandtheir2year
oldtwindaughters,towhomBonautogavebirthduringtheearlylitigation
ofGoodridgenowliveinMaineratherthanBoston,Bonautoand
Wriggins'sdesiretomarrymayfallvictimtoMassachusetts'snonresident
statutoryrestriction.BethRobinsonemphasizesBonauto's''modestyand
humility,''butinsiderswhofullyappreciatehowaverysmallnetworkofgay
lawyershasbroughtAmericatothethresholdofanothercivilrights
milestoneknowwhomtocredit.Disclaiminganydesireforan''architect''

http://www.nytimes.com/2004/05/09/magazine/towardamoreperfectunion.html?_r=0

12/14

21/12/2015

TowardaMorePerfectUnionTheNewYorkTimes

label,Bonautosays,''I'mhappytobeabricklayer.''
Wolfsonsays,''Ireallybelievewearegoingtowin,''andBonauto
agrees.''I'mveryconfidentwhattheoutcomeisgoingtobe,''shesays.She
isuncertainhowmanyyearswillpassbeforegaymarriagetriumphs
nationally,but,sheemphasizes:''Ireallythinkthattimeisabsolutelyon
oursidehere.That'spartofwhythere'ssucharushfromouropponentsto
amendthefederalConstitution.''Opponentsofgayrights,justlikethe
Roundtablelitigators,canreadthepublicopiniondatashowinghowheavy
majoritiesofyoungerAmericansreadilysupportsamesexmarriage.
Lambda'sKevinCathcartcitesthatpollingdatainexplaining''whyI
canbeconfidentandsleepsoundlyatnight.''Heacknowledgesthat''it's
verydifficultrightnowtopredictwhat'sgoingtohappen''inthemonths
andyearsimmediatelyahead,buthealsosaysthatwithoutadoubt''inthe
longrunwewin,''asentimentsharedbyWolfsonandBonauto.
''I'malittlelesssanguinethanalotofpeople,''Cathcartadmits,about
theverylongoddsthatmarriageequalityopponentsfaceinpushingforan
antigaymarriagefederalconstitutionalamendment.Bonauto
acknowledgesthatthepossibilityofstatewidevotesinMassachusettsin
2006or2008actuallyimpedesthemusteringofantigaymarriageforces
atthenationallevel,butatherweakestmomentsshe,too,focusesonthe
longtermdemographicimplicationsofcurrentpollingdata.''Thetimes
whenI'mstruggling,''shesays,''Ithink,DoIhavetowaituntilthosepeople
whoarenow10yearsoldare55beforewehaveequalityforallgayand
lesbianfamiliesinthiscountry?Andthat'sapossibility,butevenifthatis
true,that's45yearsfromnow.''
Lookingback50yearstoBrownv.BoardofEducation,most
AmericanshavenodifficultyindistinguishingthelegaciesofThurgood
Marshall,MartinLutherKingJr.andJohnF.Kennedyfromthoseofthe
segregationistgovernorsOrvalFaubus,RossBarnettandGeorgeWallace.
And50yearsfromnow,theoddsarethatAmericanswillhavelittle
difficultyindistinguishingthelegaciesofEvanWolfson,MaryBonautoand

http://www.nytimes.com/2004/05/09/magazine/towardamoreperfectunion.html?_r=0

13/14

21/12/2015

TowardaMorePerfectUnionTheNewYorkTimes

GavinNewsomfromthosewhoopposegayequality.AsKevinCathcart
asks,''Whichsideofhistorydoyouwanttobeon?''

2015TheNewYorkTimesCompany

http://www.nytimes.com/2004/05/09/magazine/towardamoreperfectunion.html?_r=0

14/14