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when a person who has multiple partners is making love, he or she may
not be totally present because of thinking about other sex partners.
A merger on such a high spiritual level is so intimate and complete that
without commitment the emotional damage could be devastating to one or
both parties. If you are not ready for a committed relationship, wait until
you are before embarking upon sacred sex. Being single is a perfect time
to work on the first principle, and then allowing your radiance and
projection to attract your soul mate to you.
The third principle: Be sensitive and communicate, communicate,
communicate.
There are no rules of etiquette in sacred sex, except that both parties agree,
and no one gets hurt physically, emotionally, or spiritually. It's not so much
what the couple does in sex as "how" they do itthe consciousness
brought to love making. This requires sensitivity and listening to the needs
and desires of each other. If the couple can listen to one another, free of
judgment, blaming, or criticism, true intimacy and trust will result in all
areas of the relationship. Remember, sacred sex doesn't start in the
bedroom; it starts in the coziness of the rest of the home.
The fourth principle: Develop a spiritual practice together.
In the first principle, we discussed the importance of developing one's own
relationship with the soul. To enhance your sacred sexual relationship, it is
also important to find ways of connecting to the Infinite togetherto see
the godliness in each other.
There are many ways couples can do this. Walking in the woods; reading
uplifting quotes, poems, or your wedding vows to each other; giving each
other massages; or doing a martial art together are just a few suggestions.
Brainstorm creative ideas with your partner. Yoga and meditation for
couples (Venus Kriyas) are also wonderful technologies for building that
relationship.
"If the feelings are aroused to the point of worship, and the Shakti (female)
worships the Shiva (male), and Shiva melts like nectar into her, then it is a
unity. But when it is not done as a worship, when she does not perceive
and receive him in divinity within herself, (when) he does not go in her as
the nectar of life and divinity, just to give to her, then it is not that act. It
only feeds the monstrous ego, and egos clash."
-Yogi Bhajan
The fifth principle: Nurture unconditional love and acceptance.
All of the above principles will nurture unconditional love and acceptance,
an absolute necessity in sacred sex. Sacred sex is not about the lustful
exchange of bodily fluids or the urgency of sweaty flesh. Yes, passion is an
ingredient, but much more happens. When each person is allowed to be,
and is appreciated and acknowledged for exactly who they are, free of any
"remodeling" agendas, true intimacy occurs and love blossoms.
Venus Kriyas can not be practiced for more than 3 minutes. Only one
Venus Kriya can be practiced within a one hour period.
To begin every Venus Kriya, sit down in front of your partner, put your
own hands together in prayer pose, and tune in by chanting Ong Namo
Guru Dev Namo three times. With your hands still together, look into your
partner's eyes and then bow your head in recognition of their God
consciousness.
Project love from your heart, and any other positive thought you want,
such as, "We deserve all the Universe can offer us," or "This meditation
will be a blissful, spiritual experience for both of us."
Upon completion of every Venus Kriya, put your palms together at the
heart center, say "Sat Nam" (acknowledging the truth in each other) and
thank your partner. Relax completely.
Here are 3 Venus Kriyas, a couples meditation, and a meditation you can
do on your own to open the heart:
Then each partner should place one hand over the other at his or her heart
center, right hand over left. Close your eyes and meditate on your heart.
Go deeply within to the center of your being.
Continue for 1.5 minutes. Relax.