Being A Challenge To Women (& REALLY Turning Them On) - Girls Chase

12/24/2014
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Tuesday, 23 December 2014
Being a Challenge to Women (& REALLY

Turning Them On)
(/users/chase-amante)
by Chase Amante (/users/chase-amante)

Tuesday, 8 January 2013
Back on the article about gym pickup (/content/gym-pickup-dos-donts-and-howmeet-girls-gym) ,
The Tool (one of our forum members
(http://www.girlschase.com/boards/) as
well) commented in asking about ways he
could meet girls in the gym as a member of the staff, without overstepping
professional boundaries:
Itwas8amandthisgirlwantedtoTanandshehadanotherhour
beforeshecouldtan(24hourlaw)soshebeggedanditoldhertowait
anotherhour,shestayedinthelockerroomandcameoutanhourlater,
sheaskedIfshecouldtanyet,Itoldher5moreminutesandaskedher
"sowhatbringsyoutothegymthisearlyonasaturday?workingout
beforeworkortoflirtwiththeguyatthefrontdesk?ShesaidHahaI
amnot.Isaid"youtotallyareandnowyourlieingaboutit...jeeze."she
saidhahaIguessIam.anywayjistofitIdeepdivedabitandgother
digitssayingyouracoolgirlweshouldgetsomecoffeesometime.she
saidsureandbaddabing.
AnywayasastaffmemberthingslikethisareriskyforIcanlosemy
jobifitwaseverfoundoutorImadeitawkwardforagirl.Sowould
youadvisethatthoseguyswhoareinfactthestaffnottrytopickup
girlsattheirowngym?
My advice to The Tool was to use barriers to get these girls chasing him; it
was, in effect, this: be a challenge to women.
http://www.girlschase.com/content/beingchallengewomenreallyturningthem
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In the article excerpt from my eBook entitled "How to Challenge Women

(/content/book-excerpts-how-challenge-women) ," I discussed why you want to be
challenging women, how it helps you, and what the potential risks are if you
take it too far. And I offered a few strategies from the book on not being too
little of a challenge.
But what about really being a challenge to women? Is it possible to use
conversation and communication to set things up so that women are
pursuing you, regardless of whether they were or weren't at first?
Sure, it's absolutely possible.
And, it's a heck of a lot easier than you might think.
"Why does she keep going for guys who don't treat her right?" says the nice guy
(/content/why-nice-guys-finish-last) to his friend, struggling to understand why
that girl he likes keeps falling for bad boys (/content/why-girls-bad-boys) despite
the fact that he's right there and would gladly give her everything she says she
wants. "Why can't she see I'd do ANYTHING for her? I'd give her exactly what
she says she wants!"
My guess is that anywhere from 60% to 80% of men in the Western world fall
into the "nice guy" category these days. These are the men who'd happily do
whatever it is women wanted to be with them - if only they could figure out
what women wanted (/content/what-women-want) !
But they can't. So, they just keep trying to do EVERYTHING for women, and
being confounded when women choose someone else over them.
But women don't want a man who'll do everything for them.
Quite to the contrary.
Women want men that they must work for.
To quote Bogg's and Ray's research on "The Heterosexual Appeal of Socially
Marginal Men (http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/01639620600721411) " again:
Surveyedwomenconsistentlyspecifypreferencesforegalitariandates
and/ormates.Acommonperceptionisthatmanyofthesesame
womenoftenselectconsortswhoareinscrutable,assertive,and
controlling,ultimatelybemoaningtheirchoices.Dominancehasbeen
experimentallyshowntoprovideinitialattractionadvantages.The
ByronicHero,avenerableliterarymodel,embracesprotagonistswho
possessextraordinarymasculinetraitsthatincludedominancebutalso
multiplepersonalflaws.ByronicHeroes,easilyidentifiedandplentiful
inpopularfiction,appearstronglytoresonatewithyouthfulaudiences
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andprovidealluringportrayalsofheterosexualrelations.Ina
classroomsurveyemployingslideimagesofpairedapparelmodels
andablinddatescenario,collegiatewomenslightlybut
significantlypreferredmodelsindependentlyjudgedto
projectByronictraitsoverequallyhandsomemenwho
appearedaffableandconventional.SubjectcommentsonByronic
modelsuniquelyincludedallusionstosexualandmysterious/rebellious
attributes.ItwasconcludedthatprojectionsofByronic
masculinityprovideinitialadvantagesinthesecuringof
heterosexualliaisons.
Even sitting in a classroom, without having so much as met the men, only
looking at images of them, women still rated as more attractive the men with
the bad boy-esque "flaws" than the equally attractive "flawless" men.
Why? Why is imperfect rated as more perfect than perfect?
If you ask me, there's one reason, and one reason only:
Attainability.
Attainability, Value, and Attraction

Think of attainability as a lens through which your value is viewed:
Too much attainability, and your value becomes too easy to see, and
thus not very exciting. There's no novelty of discovering anything new,
and a girl can easily reach in and grab whatever she wants. There's no
challenge.
Too little attainability, and your value becomes too murky, as if

you've intentionally obfuscated it. She feels like you're playing with her,
or out of her league. You're too unattainable, and she auto-rejects
(/content/secrets-getting-girls-staying-out-auto-rejection) .
Just right attainability, and she can see enough of your value to feel
like you aren't toying around with her, and enough to intrigue her, but
there's also enough murkiness on the lens that she can't really see
anything, and now she's struggling to wipe away the murk. She's curious;
her interest is piqued. She feels like she can get what's behind that lens,
but she needs to know what that is, first. Now she's interested... she's
desirous... and she's in pursuit.
Obviously, it'd be much better if your attainability isn't too high (no
challenge), and isn't too low (auto-rejection), but instead is just right (the
perfect balance of attainable and challenging).
And these men with Byronic traits tend to be exactly that.
If you had to put each of the following three boxes from above, who'd go in
which box?
Kyle, a great guy who goes out of his way to do whatever women ask of
him. He drives female friends around town, helps them with their
projects, and is ready for dinner, parties, or going out on a moment's
notice. Kyle frequently finds himself wishing he had more success with
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women, but he believes that if he just keeps spending time around them
and being as helpful as possible (/content/can-i-help-you) , at some point
he's bound to start finding success.
Clive, a perfect example of an all-around great guy. Clive's in great shape,
he's friendly, smart, charming, fun, and straightforward. He's one of those
guys you feel like Mother Nature blessed with unfair advantages in just
about every department. Clive doesn't have any great hidden secrets or a
"damaged soul;" his life, rather, is an open book, and he's happy to let
anyone who wants to read it.
Flip, an attractive guy with a checkered past. Flip's perhaps not what
you'd consider naturally good looking, but he has a certain edge about
him that you notice the moment you first meet him. Flip has his own
rugged style about him, an air of devil may care, and a tendency to shrug
off insults, challengers, and those wishing him ill-will like beads of sweat.
Flip's developed charisma about himself over the years, and when he
steps in the room everyone notices - and wonders what, exactly, his story
is.
That's right - Kyle's the nice guy who's too attainable and no challenge for
women at all.
Clive's the guy who's too good to be true and out of the leagues of most girls.
He's also not all that interesting, mysterious, or captivating, so he
paradoxically struggles to be seen as a lover despite his laundry list of good
qualities.
Flip, on the other hand, is just right; he's attractive enough that women want
to get to know more about him, mysterious enough that they never really feel
they've found out everything there is of interest about him, and just attainable
enough, due to his flaws and vulnerabilities, that girls feel like they can get
him.
Here's this perfectly imperfect man, with imperfections that must be
overcome. The girl needs to "save" this guy from his checkered past and his
flaws.
He's the bad boy that nice guys sit there and fume over the girls going crazy
for.
Working for Love

We know that women want men they
have to work for. And they need men
who are in that "just right" range of
attainability that puts men almost out
of reach... but not quite.
A big part of being maximally attractive to women is being just attainable
enough.
That is to say, you want to be an achievable goal to women (and not
completely out of a girl's league), while still being a challenge to women
enough that it doesn't feel like a shoe-in to get you.
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Why do women value men they have

to work for more highly? In fact, it's
true of ALL humans (and mammals,
for that matter): the harder we have
to work for something, generally
speaking, the more highly we value it.
Imagine I showed you into my house
and pointed out two coffee mugs
sitting there on a cabinet overlooking
the den. One mug, I explained, I'd
spent years scouring shops and
listings for in vain, before finally
having a friend locate one for me in a
remote part of Canada. I'd had it
shipped out here from there. The
other mug, I told you, I'd won at a
raffle at some party I'd gone to.
Which mug would you assume is
more valuable? Almost certainly the first, right?
Yet, I haven't told you anything about either mug's value. I haven't said what
they're made of, if they have any special designs, what their retail market
prices are. You just know that one mug I worked really hard for, and the
other I didn't, and you assume the one I worked hard for must be a lot more
valuable.
The amount of effort put into attaining something factors in directly to how
high we calculate its value.
This is why, among collector's objects (coins, stamps, trading cards, etc.), the
most valuable items are quite often the rarest objects. It isn't any special
property of the object itself that makes it so valuable... it's the level of difficulty
in acquiring it.
Same deal with your value as a man. If there are a million other nice guys in
town just like you... that makes you not so rare.
But if you're the Byronic male, attractive but flawed, rare and difficult to get,
preselected (/content/how-preselection-can-get-you-girls) and competed over by
women (/content/when-girls-compete-over-you) ... suddenly you start to look a lot
more valuable.
So how do you start being a challenge to women and getting them working to
acquire you? How do you know how to challenge enough, and when you've
challenged too much? And what do you say - and do - to make yourself into
that kind of challenge women want so much?
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To be a proper challenge to women, you need a handful of things:

1. To be able to read whether a woman sees you as too much or too little
challenge
2. To be able to both pull away and push ahead
3. To be able to inspire women to chase
I'm going to cover each of these sections below.
Reading Your Attainability

If you start dialing down how much of a challenge you are when you already
aren't much of a challenge, you're going to shoot yourself in the foot nice guy
style by making yourself far too attainable (and far too uninteresting).
On the other hand, if you start ratcheting up how challenging you are when
you already seem largely out of reach, you're going to throw girls into autorejection and soon find out what "bitterness" tastes like coming from women
scorned.
Thus, one of the most important abilities for being able to challenge women
properly is the ability to read where your attainability is at with any given
girl.
Can't you just learn the right things to say and do and say and do those same
things with every girl and you'll be fine?
No... because every woman you meet is going to view you differently and
place you somewhere else on her sliding scale of attainability.
For instance:
You might meet some ugly girl out at a bar, and she considers you way
out of her league, auto-rejects before you even say hello, and the moment
you start talking to her she treats you like the scum of the Earth.
Next, you may meet some beautiful girl, who also considers you out of her
league, and she acts cold and aloof, fearing rejection.
After her, you meet an ordinary girl surrounded by loads of male fans and
friends, and she sees you and automatically pegs you in her mind as
another probable fan, and immediately writes you off as "no challenge."
She's very nice and polite to you, because she doesn't want to hurt your
feelings - after all, it must suck never being able to be with someone as
amazing as her.
Right there alone, you have two women whose league you're out of - one ugly,
and one beautiful - and one who thinks she's out of YOUR league - an
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ordinary girl with a lot of "just friends (/content/just-friends-mans-worst-nightmare)

" male worshippers and emotional validators (/content/tactics-tuesdays-pick-andemotional-validation) .
And you can't go just off of looks, or any other characteristic - one girl might
think you're out of her league, and the next girl who looks exactly like her may
think you don't have a shot in hell with her, while the next girl after that who
looks exactly like those first two girls may think you're just perfect for her.
You can't go off appearances. You need to be able to read and adjust on the
fly.
How do you read attainability? You look for:
Aloofness: if women are acting distant and uninterested to you.
Compliance: if women are complying when you ask for investment.
Enthusiasm: if women are acting excited and interested to be talking to
you.
Rudeness: if women are acting spiteful and catty toward you.
If you need to remember those when you're out meeting women, just think
"ACER" - aloofness, compliance, enthusiasm, rudeness.
Aloofness is bad (you want less of it), compliance is good (you want more of
it), enthusiasm is good (you want more of it), and rudeness is bad (you want
less of it).
How do you know where your attainability falls with any given girl? Use ACER.
If a girl is:
Aloof +
Compliant Enthusiastic Rude +
... she's in auto-rejection or close to it, and you seem unattainable.
If she's:
Aloof Compliant Enthusiastic Rude ... you're in "no challenge" land and in real danger of entering the friend zone
(/content/how-get-out-friend-zone-mans-survival-guide) .
If she's:
Aloof Compliant +
Enthusiastic +
Rude ... you're exactly where you need to be with her, where she's neither aloof nor
rude, but IS both compliant and enthusiastic about being with you and talking
with you.
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Being a Challenge to Women (and Being Less

of One)
Once you know where you stand on attainability, you've either got to be more
of a challenge... or less of one.
So:
If your attainability could use a little reducing, be a challenge
If your attainability needs to be boosted, be less of a challenge
If your attainability is perfect, keep doing what you're doing
Much of the time, your attainability is going to be a little off, since you're
approaching women and that's an uncommon thing to do. The very nature of
approaching means you're going out on a limb and making it clear that
you're interested; you may come across as the one who's chasing, or you
may come across as someone who doesn't see her as a human being and
merely as a sex object.
It's common to approach women and have them be somewhat aloof at first.
This is actually auto-rejection, not no-challenge. They don't know you from
Jack, assume you're just another guy who doesn't care about them and is only
trying to get in their pants, and feel disgusted thinking how impersonally
you're treating them.
So, you respond by being equally aloof - you:
Act aloof not long after opening / you slow open
Give girls the bored look when they act aloof
Don't chase and don't get involved
This is not how normal men behave after the approach, and it intrigues most
women into wondering if you aren't actually different. They'll begin viewing
you as a person and not some stereotypical man who's chasing sex, and your
attainability goes up.
They begin to warm up to you and ask you questions and show interest.
What about the opposite though? The girl you approach who's NOT rude or
aloof, but also doesn't seem super excited to talk to you and doesn't give you
investment when you ask for it? This girl views you as not very challenging,
for whatever reason.
Could be the case you came in too energetic and not adhering to the Law of
Least Effort (/content/law-least-effort) . Could be you came across as nervous or
overly friendly or not a very sexy man (/content/how-be-sexy-man) .
It's worth knowing the "why" for training and perfecting purposes, but for
immediate purposes of troubleshooting attainability, it doesn't matter. All
that DOES matter is that you start being a challenge with this girl.
Acting aloof here doesn't work very well. When you try being aloof with a girl
who already sees you as "no challenge," it doesn't inspire chasing; it gets
viewed as "cute" or "pouty."
Instead, you must be directly challenging, e.g.:
Deep diving (/content/secrets-getting-girls-art-deep-dive) her and getting
rapidly to core issues you can get her qualifying herself
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(/content/qualifying-women-really-important) on
(see: "What Does She Want?
The 8 Things You Must Ask Her (/content/what-does-she-want-8-things-youmust-ask-her) ")
Chase framing (/content/secrets-getting-girls-chase-framing) her, setting up

sexual frames (/content/how-use-sexual-frame-turn-women) , and positioning
things so that she's the one who's doing the chasing
Compliance stacking (/content/compliance-stacking) and finding ways to get
her investing, even if it's very small amounts, and escalating that
investment until you are moving her around (/content/tactics-tuesdays-movegirls) and
getting higher levels of investment out of her
You can best think of it this way:
When a girl is cool, rude, and/or aloof with you, tone it down
with her, be calm, minimize investment, and get her comfortable around
you with you being very chill, relaxed, and not pressuring her or asking
for anything out of her at all to let your attainability rebound. Think of
this as "taking the pressure off."
When a girl is friendly, uninterested, and/or nice with you,

turn up the heat, get more demanding with her, really grill and probe her
on her background, dreams, and motivations, suggest that she's pursuing
you, and escalate investment from her to shift yourself out of being too
attainable. Think of this as "putting the pressure on."
You can use these challenge "gear shifts" to rapidly change how women see
you and make them alter their perceptions of your attainability and how
difficult it is to get what they want from you.
Inspiring Women to Chase

Once you've repaired attainability and you've got women feeling like you're
just within reach, how do you then get them pursuing you?
The secret is being a challenge to women in a few specific ways that
encourage them to chase.
Our three tools for doing this are:
1. Using barriers
2. Creating scarcity
3. Applying time limits
They work as follows:
#1: Using Barriers

A "barrier," in seduction terminology,
is a not-insurmountable obstacle that
you employ to get women to pursue
you. These are best used when you're
in a situation that it's easier for the
woman to deal with herself.
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For instance, you might be invite a

girl home (/content/invite-her-home) ,
but she's surrounded by friends and
you know if you ask her plainly and
simply to accompany you back, it's
going to be a problem. So, instead of
doing so, you say:
You know, I'd really love to invite
you somewhere alone with me
where it'd be just the two of us,
and we could have drinks and talk
and hang out just us. It's too bad
all your friends are around.
What this does is to:
Tell her what you'd like to do to
her / with her
Set a barrier up that stands in the way of this happening
Communicate to her exactly what she needs to do to make it happen
This is far more effective than simply saying, "I'd like to take you home,"
because it follows up with, "But I can't," then gives the girl an action to take if
she'd like to make it happen.
If she takes that action, and finds a way for the two of you to leave together
despite her friends (in this example), she's buying in and committing to what
the two of you will do together.
Then, no longer is this simply what YOU want to do... but it's what BOTH of
you want to do.
Obviously, you need well-balanced attainability mixed with attraction and a
fair amount of investment already for barriers to work - they won't inspire
women to action early on when they're still on the fence about you. Girls need
to be excited about and ready to take whatever the next step proposed by the
barrier is in order to take it.
#2: Creating Scarcity

Creating scarcity is best done by contrasting yourself with others.
You never want to insult other men or other people, or it looks like you're
trying to take out the competition; but a few offhand remarks like, "Most guys
are weak," or, "Most people don't really know what they want," allow women
to more clearly recognize the things about you that set you apart.
Of course, this only works if these traits actually set you apart. If you say,
"Most guys are weak," but you don't exactly seem the pinnacle of strength and
dominance yourself, well, she's going to shrug her eyebrows as if to say,
"Huh?"
But if you actually are the opposite of the trait you point most people out as
having, women recognize this and instantly become a lot more aware of your
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scarcity.
You can show how impressive you are night and day, but if you never point it
out by contrasting it with what almost everyone else is doing and being, the
contrast never fully registers.
Make it register by making a few points.
(Obviously, if your whole conversation is, "Most people are this," and, "Most
people are that," you're going to wear that one out pretty fast. Use it sparingly
to get the right level of contrast running without overdoing it)
#3: Applying Time Limits

Anything that reduces your availability or the probably time window a girl
thinks she has to land you works here.
Most men try to make themselves infinitely available to women. "I will be right
here, waiting for you!" go the song lyrics. A lot of popular music contain lyrics
like that. The guy's so reliable that he's just going to WAIT for her... how
romantic!
Your lyrics will be more like, "Take it or leave it, babe... I ain't got time to
waste."
Why?
Imagine two girls:
Girl A tells you, "I'll wait for you as long as you need! You just call me or
text me anytime!"
Girl B tells you, "I like you, and I want to be with you. But I'm not waiting,
so choose."
Which girl has your respect, and which girl are you most likely to actually
want, desire, and date? Girl B by a landslide... not even close.
Why's it work this way? Well, we tend to intuit that the more valuable a
person's time is, the more valuable the person himself is.
So, if your time is so value-poor that you're willing to wait around for a girl, or
spend a lot of time pursuing her, then you must be value poor as well.
Ouch.
How do you apply time limits then, to get around being that sad little man
who's perpetually available?
You can do this with:
Laser focus on the person you're talking to. Truly busy people
tend to be some of the most focused you'll meet. But wouldn't you expect
busy people to be distracted? In some things, occasionally, yes; but with
socializing, if someone lets others interrupt and distract him, he's
simply communicating poor control of his time and attention. You can
get his attention any time, simply by interrupting him and asking for it. If
you're zeroed in on whomever you're talking to though, girls will know
they can't get your attention again simply by breaking your circle
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(/content/breaking-circle) ,
and will know they need to use what time they
have with you to advance things.
Not being available for social functions. Women will sometimes

test you out to see if you'll be a good fit for their friend zones by inviting
you to accompany them to social functions. You should always politely
turn these down. Make it clear that the only time you have available for
them is one-on-one time... don't waste time being a part of their group.
Slow correspondence response times. Taking a little while to

respond back to phone calls and text messages helps to establish some
scarcity. Not responding to emails and Facebook messages and texts and
other things some of the time (or much of the time) will do this as well.
When you're actually truly very busy, you'll do this naturally anyway.
When you're not there yet though, you can still slow down your
responses so as not to seem overeager.
Telling women you're moving out of town or not sticking

around. If this isn't the case with you, obviously, you can't really use it,
but if you're leaving town even in a year or so, letting women know in
conversation that you won't be around forever creates some time limits
for things to happen in.
One thing I don't advocate is the "false time constraint," where you tell a girl
soon after opening her that you've got to be going soon. Saying this
presumes that the girl doesn't want you there and wants you out of her
hair; it's used to "buy you some time" to win her over.
But if you're hanging around meeting women who don't want you around...
you're doing things wrong.
Skip the FTCs and focus in stead on being less available and being zeroed-in
on girls when you are available. Make your time quality time, and limited
quality time.
This is how you create the nonverbal feel of someone in high demand, and
really get girls chasing after you.
What's Being a Challenge to Women All

About?
Some people might tell you this is about "playing a game" or "seducing her."
Far from it.
Being a challenge is about flirting and intrigue. It's not a game; it's part of
human mating rituals. Women are attracted to men who challenge them; men
who do not challenge them don't switch on the mating dance (and then these
men get frustrated that women don't want them and complain about how
women go for all these "bad guys").
Is it a game if a man tells a woman he'd like to kiss her passionately, it's just
too bad there are so many people around? No. He's flirting and telling her
what she needs to do on her end (express interest; help get alone with him) if
she wants the same thing he does.
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Nor is it a game for a man to be zeroed in on women, or taking a while to

respond to messages (if he's genuinely busy, that is; you might consider it a
game if he isn't, though).
It's also NOT a game to point out that you are not like most people.
Remember, correcting attainability and being a challenge is about:
1. Reading attainability (too high, too low, or just right?)
2. Being a challenge, or less of a challenge (putting pressure on or taking it
off)
3. Inspiring women to chase (using barriers, scarcity, and time limits)
Keeping a close bead on attainability, monitoring it, reading it, and keeping
it balanced with challenging women is how you keep intrigue up, autorejection down, and get girls going with you - and hordes of nice guys
wondering why women keep pairing off with "bad boys" like you.
Ciao,
Chase Amante
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afe428dd0d6406b366252cf4204ec6e&source=ShareaholicPublishers&template=&service=5&ctype=)
3
3
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3
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power-shy)
awakening-how-have- compete-over-you)
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The Seductive her-doing-almostWhen Girls
Sex and Alcohol
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awakening-how-have2
sex and high school (/content/being-challenge-women-reallyher-doing-almost2
turning-them#comment-6091)
anything-bed)
2
Posted by studentofthegame on Wednesday, 9 January 2013
2
2
Post to Google+ (https://www.shareaholic.com/api/share/?
Hi chase I'm in high school and I now have a detailed process on getting
girls, moving faster,getting num bers etc.but when it comes to sex I have
a problem for one I don't have an apartment where can take the girl to
girlschase.com%2Fcontent%2Fbeing-challenge-women-really-turningand
I live with my parents and siblings.so I am confused on how can bed
women
fast being in this pickle.I don't want a case where they might
afe428dd0d6406b366252cf4204ec6e&source=Shareaholicwalk in on me or something which could seriously hurt my Morale.
Comments
Publishers&template=&service=304&ctype=)
Add to Reddit (https://www.shareaholic.com/api/share/?
Sex Without a Bed (/content/being-
challenge-women-really-turning-
them#comment-6107)
girlschase.com%2Fcontent%2Fbeing-challenge-women-really-turning(/users/chase-amante) Posted by Chase Amante (/users/chase-amante)

on Wednesday, 9 January 2013
afe428dd0d6406b366252cf4204ec6e&source=ShareaholicPublishers&template=&service=40&ctype=)
Post to StumbleUpon (https://www.shareaholic.com/api/share/?

Hey Student,
It's very possible to still take girls to bed even if you can't take them
girlschase.com%2Fcontent%2Fbeing-challenge-women-really-turningto bed where you live.
See this article for some ideas on how to handle

afe428dd0d6406b366252cf4204ec6e&source=Shareaholic-
your logistics
outside
of
bringing
girls
back
to
your
folks'
place:
Publishers&template=&service=38&ctype=)
Post
toExcerpts:
DeliciousGet
(https://www.shareaholic.com/api/share/?
Book
Girls in Bed (Without a Bed) (/content/booktitle=Being+a+Challenge+to+Women+
excerpts-get-girls-bed-without-bed)
Chase
girlschase.com%2Fcontent%2Fbeing-challenge-women-really-turningthem&notes=&short_link=&shortener=google&shortener_key=&v=1&apitype=1&apikey=19
afe428dd0d6406b366252cf4204ec6e&source=Shareaholic-
14/37
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Interested? (/content/being-challenge-women-really-turningthem#comment-6127)
Posted by Jack on Wednesday, 9 January 2013
Studentofthegame, I am in high school as well. Would you mind

contacting me? Would mean a lot! I have been looking to perfect a
process as I am I high school to take into account girls not willing to
have sex so soon and social issues as well. Thanks get back to me!
A few questions (/content/being-challenge-women-reallyturning-them#comment-6092)
Posted by Balla on Wednesday, 9 January 2013
Hey chase just have a few questions

1.How can I make my mind clear and stop planning things out with
expectations? The cat gets my tounge when I approach and I get upset
when things dont go my way with a girl. How do I let go and go with the
flow?
2.I've been applying what you wrote from the get taken seriously article,
but guess I haven't gotten it down all the way because girls still play
games. Should I be more aggressive with them and more demanding?
3. Don't all girls think that you want sex and if they didnt wouldn't you
be in the friend zone?
4. Will your programs be free when you join the membership?
Peace,
Balla
Re: A few questions (/content/beingchallenge-women-really-turningthem#comment-6108)

Posted by Chase Amante (/users/chase-amante)
Hey Balla,
Getting your mind to clear is something you can achieve by working
on "mindfulness;" that is, training your inner eye to turn its sight
onto your thoughts, and out onto the present world around you. By
focusing your thoughts solely on what's happening right now in this
given moment (e.g., exactly what thoughts you're feeling, emotions
you're experiencing, and what's happening in the environment
around you this instant), you turn off the conscious element of the
prediction engine of your brain and simply experience what's
happening around you.
Hard to say on the girls playing games. If these are still the same girls
from the past, yeah, they're just going to keep doing that. It's very,
very difficult to turn things around with women who already have
set opinions of you.
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12/24/2014
On sex - no, not all women assume you want sex! This is a common
misconception of a lot of new guys - they think they should play
things neutrally to disabuse women of the notion that they're just
after sex. But if a man isn't exuding sex, women will assume he isn't
turned on or interested.
As for programs, they'll be the same price they always were!
Cheers,
Chase
Hi Chase, While i was reading (/content/being-challengewomen-really-turning-them#comment-6094)
Posted by Anonymous on Wednesday, 9 January 2013
Hi Chase,
While i was reading this article i started to wonder if you have any notes
on flight attendant game and what kind of barriers can you use on a
plane if any
Flight Attendants (/content/beingchallenge-women-really-turningthem#comment-6109)

Hi Anon,
Flight attendants can be a little difficult to meet on-plane, simply
because they're in work mode and they're accustomed to men
hitting on them there anyway.
I've picked up flight attendants in nightclubs, but I haven't really sat
and tried to get a method down for it on a plane simply because of
the logistical difficulty. I've had friends pick up flight attendants on
their ways out of planes though, setting up dates and grabbing
numbers while waiting for the rest of the passengers to deplane. My
TOP recommendation would be to find out where the flight
attendants hang out in your city (there's typically one or two bars
that flight personnel gather at) and focus on meeting them there,
simply to give yourself more time to work and a more social setting
to work in.
If you're set on meeting attendants on planes, you'll need to come up
with some sort of pattern interrupt. I'd probably use a direct opener
so she knows exactly what you're about and then escalate things
quickly with pointed, personal questions on her if she's receptive to
the opener. Then most likely find out how much time she has in the
city you're landing in, or if she ever has layovers there. Swap cells
and plan to meet.
Chase
16/37
12/24/2014
Byronic (/content/being-challenge-women-really-turningthem#comment-6098)
I have several girls interested in me primarily because of my flaws, and

they have told me to my face that I am imperfectly perfect. I am
interested in this Byronic concept. Do you try to adapt byronic traits?
And can you do a post on them?
Great article btw
Re: Byronic (/content/being-challengewomen-really-turning-them#comment-6110)

Hey Anon,
Yeah, it's a neat topic. I have adopted Byron-esque qualities, yes.
We had another commenter on here asking for a post on
vulnerabilities, and I think this would tie in nicely on that. So I'll
probably look to do a post that ties in attractive vulnerabilities and
Byronic flaws, since they're largely one and the same.
Chase
Time Limit/Moving Slow? (/content/being-challenge-womenreally-turning-them#comment-6106)
I will be moving out of the country after I graduate from college in 5

months and I recently told that to girl that I have been dating. She
responded by starting to cry, and then saying she now wanted to move
slow, that she didn't want to get too attached emotionally, but that she
would be there with me all the way until I went to the airport.I was a
little taken back, didn't expect her to say that of all things, so I mustered
up a "look into my eyes" , so I just looked into her eyes with a deep gaze
and I came closer to her face and we started to kiss. Did that for a good
5 minutes, with a little whispering in the middle, and parted ways for the
evening. We both live with our parents, so moving her to my place,
which would be ideal for such a conversation, was not possible. I am
definitely not in the friend zone, but I've now disqualified myself for the
boyfriend role.
PROBLEM: she's shy (at least when sober... have avoided party dates like
the second coming of the bubonic plague thanks to GirlsChase), and I've
tried to escalate beyond touching/kissing, but no go. So I'm not really in
the lover role, am I?
She always shys away or giggles, killing the tension when I try to
sexually escelate, whether it be in a park or in my car. I don't want to
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12/24/2014
work too hard, crossing that fine line where aggressive becomes
unwanted/creepy touching. Wouldn't be surprised if this girl has only
slept with 1 or 2 different guys before. Comes from a somewhat religious
family... and so on.
I seem to be in a fourth zone: the guy who is exactly like a boyfriend,
super high attraction level, quite romantic, but a little safe and
predictable, all lacking the high important title of boyfriend. We've been
moving slow, but not on my wishes, on hers. She keeps citing not
wanting emotional attachment, but she's obviously attached to me a
great deal, then we just act like boyfriend and girlfriend without the
titles. I feel like the only way to progress with this girl sexually would be
to have a active relationship- otherwise, for whatever reason, she's not
giving into sex. Just my reading.
All the meanwhile, I like her a lot, but I've started to make myself more
scarse, not care as much, and see other girls because I'm not locking
myself into that. Abundance mentality for life.
Thoughts on this "fourth zone", as I'm starting to call it with my
buddies? Or how to salvage things with this girl, if it's not a lost cause?
Early Boyfriend (/content/beingchallenge-women-really-turningthem#comment-6112)

Hi Anon,
I actually have an old article on this phenomenon - what you and
your buddies call the "fourth zone," I call being the "early boyfriend."
Here's the article:
The Early Boyfriend: Why It's a Bad Idea (/content/early-boyfriend-whyits-bad-idea)
Unfortunately, there's not much you can do to get around that other
than start disconnecting your value from her. You can also have a sit
down and talk with her, and simply be honest with her, telling her,
"Look, I really like you. A LOT. But we do everything a boyfriend and
girlfriend do together except actually make love, and it's destroying
me. I can't be in a sexless relationship anymore... I want to be with
you, but you don't want to be with me. I understand that, but I can't
do it anymore. I can't spend time with you anymore; it's simply too
painful."
At that point, she's going to decide: either that, okay, she DOES want
to sleep with you... or, no, she still doesn't want to, and she'll say
goodbye.
You can't be mean, can't be bitter, you've got to be sad and you've
got to let her know why and let her know it's no fault of hers. Then
cut her off if she won't be with you.
Sometimes even if she won't sleep with you at first, being away from
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you will make her realize that she actually DOES want to be around
you enough that she's willing to sleep with you to not lose you /
retain you as her boyfriend and lover. Or she may decide she's better
off without you.
Either way, you won't be stuck in limbo anymore - either she'll be
yours, or you'll be free.
Chase
Being Challenging. (/content/being-challenge-women-reallyturning-them#comment-6111)
Posted by Maxz on Wednesday, 9 January 2013
Nice gem here Chase on being a challenge.

I had a question for you. I recently texted a girl I wanted to sleep with a
message saying I was thinking of her after seeing her at a function. Does
that show the guy is no challenge if he is sending the girl a thinking of
you message? Will love a reply on this one. Thanks.
Thinking of You? (/content/beingchallenge-women-really-turningthem#comment-6113)

Hi Maxz,
It depends on how she views your status relative to hers. If she views
you as roughly equivalent to her in value and status, then even if
she's going nuts over you, showing her this much affection when she
isn't your lover yet assures her that she has too much sway over you,
and immediately ups the stakes for you to become her lover.
Basically, it takes whatever amount of work you'd need to do to bed
her and double or triples it. Still possible, but it'll be a lot more
grueling.
There's another alternative, however: if you're so much higher in
value than her that she'd normally consider you far out of her league
and the very notion of you thinking of her makes her laugh (i.e., she
considers it playful teasing), you're okay. Think of how a girl would
feel if she got a, "Hey, I was just thinking about you," message from a
rock star after he saw her. She'd laugh, knowing that rock star sleeps
with a lot of girls and that he's sending her some playful sexual
banter (the intimation here is, because he's such a sexual guy, he's
thinking of her sexually).
Essentially, if she knows that there is NO WAY on Earth that you're
thinking about her longingly and romantically, you're fine. If she
thinks that's even the slightest possibility though, it's very damaging
to your cause, and you'll want to not do it with future girls.
Chase
19/37
12/24/2014
Badboy look VS James Bond look (/content/beingchallenge-women-really-turning-them#comment-6115)
Chase, my question is regarding style of dress and the perception they

give off.
Take for example the cliche bad boy look. Tight black shirt, biker jacket,
black boots, spiked hair, ect... You get the point.
Next take the "James Bond" look. Parted hair, wearing nice things such
as sweater vest and Blazers with nice black shoes.
Will dressing in the James Bond style make me look too "safe" and make
girls automatically slot me into a nice guy category?
I'm sure that a mans attitude/personality counts more. For example, if
the bad boy acts like a little girl most girls will find him unattractive. If
the James Bond looking guy is, well... like James Bond, then women will
find him attractive.
However, do you think I'm making it harder on myself by dressing more
"safe" than dressing like a bad boy?
Thanks Chase!
Clothes vs. Vibe (/content/beingchallenge-women-really-turningthem#comment-6139)

on Thursday, 10 January 2013
Hey Anon,
That's a real question of clothes vs. vibe.
i.e., James Bond has a very bad boy-ish vibe, so he can get away with
being in a suit. Put a guy who's not quite as rakish in a suit, and he
just looks polished and nice.
You can think of clothes as at first helping to compensate for a lack
of a vibe - e.g., the guy who's a little too nice still, so he throws on a
leather jacket to give him some edge.
Later, when your vibe is killer, you can use them to actually take
edge OFF, further enhancing the vibe. e.g., James Bond in a suit
instead of a leather jacket. The nice clothes stand out more because
they're adorning a man who so obviously exudes power and
confidence.
So, I'd say if your vibe needs some accentuation still, err on the side
of badder clothing. Once your vibe is VERY bad boy, start moving
toward nicer clothes to offset that and get contrast going on.
20/37
12/24/2014
Chase
excellent advice. (/content/being-challenge-womenreally-turning-them#comment-6116)
Posted by The Tool (/users/tool) on Wednesday, 9 January

(/users/tool)
2013
Excellent read, Your advice on my question on the gym post has been
monumental. It has immensially upped my game because of the
challenges ive been implamenting. People definately should take this
one to heart it is in fact one of the larget game changers. Becuase of the
challenge, it makes women invest which allows you to gauge interest.
in some cases it is better to recieve more than to give ;)
Cheers, The Tool
Re: excellent advice. (/content/beingchallenge-women-really-turningthem#comment-6140)

Howdy Tool,
Extremely cool to hear you've been using challenges and barriers
and reaping some dividends from them. They're strong stuff once
you're already generating interest with women.
You're very right - they can help you tak investing to the next level,
and serve as a solid gauge to interest as well. Strong voodoo, this.
Chase
Hello Chase I haven't seen (/content/being-challengewomen-really-turning-them#comment-6117)
Posted by Vaughn on Wednesday, 9 January 2013
Hello Chase I haven't seen you in a few days. I wanted to just ask one
question but I read the comments so I wanted to ask a few more.
My first one was my own which is, Chase it is so hard for me to get sex
and to get these girls to comply, I dont know what else to say man it's
just driving me crazy that I can't get one girl I like to sleep with after
learning all your stuff. What am I doing wrong chase, what do I have to
do to get rid of this barrier from me getting sex? I was just thinking of
telling them I want sex and stop being indirect. Tell me what I have to
do.
Second one is what I got from Balla's comment response from you. How
do you change girls opinions about you and see you as a guy they want
to sleep with? I'm mostly talking about girls who know your very sexual
but you havent slept with.
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12/24/2014
Third one was from maxz, when he wrote about thinking of a girl, my
question is fantasizing about girls. I'm not putting them on a pedestal
but whenever I feel I'm close to getting a girl or I'm talking to a girl I like
i think of having a romantic time with them I think about having sex
with them even kids with them. Im not thinking of one girl like this, I'm
thinking of every girl that's attractive to me like this. Its like your article
about cant stop thinking about her where you say get more girls but my
problem is when i get a new girl i think about her then i go to another
and think about her and on and on. How can i stop this cycle. Thank
you!!!!
Becoming a Sexual Man / Stopping

Fantasizing (/content/being-challengewomen-really-turning-them#comment-6141)
Hey Vaughn,
I have an inkling that your third point is contributing to your first
two.
When a guy lets his thoughts run rampant and he starts getting
fantasies going on about girls, this tends to make him hesitant and
start treating girls with kid gloves. He won't move fast enough, won't
demand investment from girls, and won't treat them the way a man
with lots of options will. He effectively gives off loud, clear signals to
women that he isn't a guy with man options, and kills a lot of his
attraction.
Even if you don't have much of a sexual vibe down yet, if you're
meeting new women often and following a process that revolves
around moving girls and keeping things progressing forward in your
interactions, you should be getting dates and taking girls home at
least occasionally. Are you meeting 30 to 40 new women a week at
least and improving your approach with them as you are?
On the mental thing, you've really just got to train yourself not to
think about women you have any intentions of dating. The instant
you fantasize about a girl as being something important to you your
goose is cooked, and you'll start acting funny / hesitant / unmanly
around her. You've absolutely got to shift your thoughts off girls you
like and onto something else, which is where having projects and
passions you're working on come into play. It's no coincidence men
with great passions also do well with women - they have a lot more
to take up their thoughts, freeing them from overvaluing individual
women.
Chase
chase i need help man (/content/being-challenge-womenreally-turning-them#comment-6124)
22/37
12/24/2014
Hey Chase I'm the type of the guy who creates attraction on the first
sight.But then when I go on the dates looks like women losses interest
or I would get stucked with texting.! Now I started reading your articles
maybe a month ago and helped a lot especially with texting and setting
up dates now It's really easy and almost every girl responds to text
messages that I copied:) from you.! Also before I would never go for the
sex on the first date I guess I'm typicall nice guy who is trying to change
and deep diving I see a lot of improvements.But I get stuck when it
comes to second date. I didn't manage yet to get sex on the first date.
Here is the scenario in last 2 weeks I had 2 dates with 2 different
girls.Anyways with second one we were kissing and everything but no
sex she didn't want to go to my place.! Now for the 2nd date she
responds to msg but says like she is busy we can see eachother only for
short making excuses,if I want to see her to come where she lives which
is 30min drive.I get stuck on 2nd date how to escalate Chase.Should I
use more phone calls request more investment and how to react when
she requests investment from me. Like to come where she lives and we
can have short lunch.Thanks.!
Escalation Windows (/content/beingchallenge-women-really-turningthem#comment-6142)

Hi Anon,
Wonderful to hear you're seeing some progress, man. Sounds like
you've made some great headway from the days when women were
losing interest quickly!
Unfortunately with the girl in question in this comment, it looks like
you ran into an escalation window - see her:
Escalation Windows (/content/escalation-windows)
Essentially, once you start kissing a girl, you've opened the
escalation window to sex, and much of the time if you don't have sex
relatively shortly thereafter (within a few hours, and sometimes
much less... typically, it needs to be sometime before the mood is
broken), the window closes, the girl backward rationalizes that she
wasn't that interested in you and that's why the two of you didn't get
together, and things are over. That's why it's better not to kiss until
you have a girl alone with you.
There's not much to say here except save kissing until you're alone
with her for future girls, and keep getting out there and meeting new
girls. You'll get it down, don't worry.
Chase
Clarification (/content/being-challenge-women-really-turningthem#comment-6128)
Posted by M on Wednesday, 9 January 2013

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12/24/2014
Hi Chase,
I seem to have gotten some of my understanding of this reversed.
On deep diving: on the one hand, you're showing interest in her and in
getting to know her well, which seems to raise your attainability, and on
the other hand, you're "grilling" her and not letting her get away with
shallow or unsatisfactory answers, which seems to lower your
attainability (as you stated in this article). I guess the grilling part "wins"
if you do it properly, so that's why you put it in the decreasing
attainability section.
On being chill, cool, and undemanding: doesn't this make you appear
that you're not trying too hard to get her, so it would decrease your
attainability? I guess the "undemanding" part is what you meant to be
important here, which would put her at ease and increase your
attainability.
One other question: could you please write a post sometime on how to
be non-judgmental and more constructive and encouraging? Many
times I find myself thinking during a conversation, "Hmm, your career
path/school/etc. sounds pretty dismal...why are you so unambitious?
Not really sure what I can say that would be both encouraging and true."
The conversation of course shuts down pretty fast after that. But I know
that there IS something both encouraging and true I could say, and if I
didn't have that thought in the way, I would probably be able to relate to
the person and think to say it.
Best,
M
Re: Clarification (/content/beingchallenge-women-really-turningthem#comment-6143)

Hey M,
Yes, you're exactly right: once you're into deep diving, you're asking
the girl to qualify and explain herself to you, which she won't do if
she's close to auto-rejection. Instead she'll just ignore this, and you'll
get negative compliance. Deep diving does bring an attainability
boost, but only after the girl shares about herself and sees that you
understand and relate, and she typically won't do this if she's too
close to auto-rejection.You're basically letting things cool off and
calm down until she's ready for deep diving - and once you can get
that going, you're set.
The post on being non-judgmental - yes, that'd be a good one. I've
been meaning to write one for sometime, actually - just for good
measure, I've added it to the list (which I just realized I didn't have it
on before).
24/37
12/24/2014
Chase
Why do women want to work... (/content/being-challengewomen-really-turning-them#comment-6232)
Posted by Anonymous on Monday, 14 January 2013
Why do women want to work to get a man...if they have so much choice
with men why make the conscious decision to choose to put in more
work to get someone rather than not having to work as hard(assuming a
dominant sexy man wants to make life relatively easy for her)? Maybe
I'm lazy, but this is certainly not the path of least resistance.
Why Do Women Like Challenges?

(/content/being-challenge-women-reallyturning-them#comment-6258)
on Tuesday, 15 January 2013
Hi Anon,
For exactly the same reason that men don't fall in love with the
women who throw themselves at them (calling these girls "sluts" and
treating them disrespectfully and disdainfully), but DO fall in love
with the one girl they cannot get (check out the very long comments
section at the end of "Can't Stop Thinking About Her? Here's Why
You Need to Meet More Girls (/content/cant-stop-thinking-about-herheres-why-you-need-meet-more-girls) ").
The human brain is wired to view things that are difficult to get as
more valuable, because they typically are. A man who challenges
women is one who isn't needy (which means he gets girls), is
comfortable with women (which means he gets girls), and prompts
them to begin investing in him (which signals to them that he must
be valuable for them to invest as they are).
Women select mates based on hard-coded genetic value. Essentially,
they want men who are good with women, because men who are
good with women will give them sons who are good with women,
and these sons will give them the best chance of spreading their
genetic legacy far and wide. This measure reduces in importance as
they age and begin looking to settle down; at that point, they
become more willing to "settle;" that is, to accept men who aren't
quite as challenging (or desirable). That's the age they begin to
declare that they're "tired of the games" (that they loved so much
when they were younger).
That's the long answer. The short answer is, men who are a
challenge to the right extent excite, thrill, tantalize, and scintillate
women into action in ways that men who are not a challenge simply
do not.
It's like the difference between playing a video game that's really,
really easy to beat, and one that's just challenging enough that you
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12/24/2014
can almost beat it but keep losing at the last moment. You REALLY
want to beat that latter one... but the former one, well... it's kind of a
bore.
Chase
The poker face (/content/being-challenge-women-really-turningthem#comment-6235)
Are pretty and in-demand women really afraid of rejection? I mean if

every time they go out they have potential suitors trying to get into
their pants dont they overtime develop a sense of superiority? I know I
would naturally if I had hundreds of women coming up to me all the
time.
Anyway, Ive tried dating such women, and a pattern I recognized that I
havent devised a solution to yet is that they usually take the poker
face approach to dating. In the beginning, they give no compliments
other than one or two, and certainly they give no indication that they
care about you other than by using non-verbals to hint that they might
care. Some real CIA shit that seems to be designed to have me asking
"Does she like me or not?" All the while deep-down they do feel strong
emotions but theyd never say anything. Its kinda like they withhold this
info in a power-play attempt because they fear that my ego would get
inflated by their strong affections for me.
This kinda behavior confuses me, and Im not certain as to how to act
with such women. And make them chase. But I want to LEARN! I assume
attraction and proceed accordingly, but I've found that they usually
never ever return the compliments unless directly asked "what do you
think about me." I've even had one girl say she doesn't inflate guys' egos
to which I responded I wasn't fishing for a compliment, for all I know
you could think my head is too big for my body, it's just a question. She
still took this question as a sign of insecurity and well we know how that
goes. Now it's not that I am needy and want compliments from women,
but it's my belief that if you have gone on couple dates and you really
like someone and that you want to keep around, youd treat them
special and say and do things you wouldn't do for everyone else. Clearly
you hold your own beliefs and stay assertive, but strive to keep things
zen and interesting. During the dating phase shouldn't you act in a way
that would entice the other person and have them say "hmm, if I keep
them around, I'd definitely get some good treatment!" instead of
obfuscating yourself and making them wonder "do they like me?"
Yet in my experience, these poker-face women dont engage in
charming behavior until you've won them over. No special treatment,
minimal amounts of compliments, obfuscation of their intentions and
desire, never calling or texting first, nearly no investment at all. Why?
And I am not the type of guy that chases. Nor do I have much of a desire
to inspire someone like this to chase me. Although it would be kinda
satisfying if I could. I usually give up and move on to something more
interesting.
Recently however, in my quest to become a better seducer, instead of
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giving up right away, I've persisted and tried chase framing, kissing,
touching, sexy eye contact, deep-diving, being more of a challenge etc,
and while I've gotten decent results sexually on occasion, I've rarely ever
had progress in getting the poker face to treat me well emotionally,
without me having to call them out on it. I feel like I shouldn't have to
tell or educate a woman on how to treat me well, that they should know.
But it appears like the poker-face doesn't think too much about how I
feel by her treatment (or lack thereof), rather instead she thinks more
about how I make HER feel. I can't confirm, but it's my hypothesis. A
relationship of any-kind is a two-way street and both parties must get
emotional satisfaction otherwise what's the point.
Here in this article you suggest a solution to my problems is to inspire
women to chase... instead of calling them out on their behavior. But if a
girl really likes you, and knows how to treat a man well, shouldn't this
inspiration to treat you like a king (once you have the characteristics she
seeks) occur almost spontaneously? There has to be an approach to
dealing with the poker-face to make them chase. Any
recommendations?
Girls that don't chase (/content/being-challenge-womenreally-turning-them#comment-6246)
Posted by Ash on Monday, 14 January 2013
I'm in the same boat. I've met a girl recently that doesn't chase, she
even tries to take control of texts etc. eg. Me: "When's good for you."
Her: "I'll let you know if that's cool?"
Yet she'll still text after meeting saying had a great time and we
should maybe do it again.
With this girl I'm left thinking, is she or isn't she interested... She
won't give me the usual signs of interest, on the outside it seems she
has no interest, doesn't flirt, doesn't laugh at everything I say etc,
but, she will do things when I give her commands; try this on, slide
down here a little. She will compliment and even ask when I'm free,
but then she can rarely meet up because she is so busy.
She is very nonchalant in her messages when she asks to meet up
("was seeing if you still wanted to meet, cool if not") I don't know if
she's not interested or if she's afraid of getting hurt. By the way we
met when she approached me, and she was very forward, but after
that night, before I even met her or text, POKER FACE, since then,
POKER FACE.
In one of your articles you suggest sticking to the 80 20 rule and
focus on the 20% of girls that are showing you interest but these
days I don't find those girls as interesting, I like girls like this one
that isn't obvious to me, more of a challenge. The thing is I don't
know whether she is interested and how to get girls like that, is it
just persistence in a non chasing type way?
I've tried to move things quickly, first time we were in underwear but
she wouldn't go further because she said she wasn't like that. Second
time we never got past making out and taking her top off.
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Is there something else we should be doing with girls that have as

the poster above says, POKER FACES
Re: Girls that don't chase

amante) on
Posted by Chase Amante (/users/chase-
Tuesday, 15 January 2013
Hey Ash,
Sounds like this girl IS chasing, in her own subtle way. She's
messaging you to meet up... that's a good sign, and that's chasing!
Sometimes you can accidentally chase when a girl's already
chasing you, and it causes a total reversal of the chase dynamic
where she's now running and you're now chasing. It happens. I
usually write these girls off as girls I messed up with, take note of
the lesson, and move on, though you can sometimes turn them
around if you're so inclined (depends if it's worth it to you or
not).
I think that's Ricardus's 80/20 you're referring to; mine would be
something closer to "focus on the 20% of girls who are meeting
up with you and doing what you tell or ask them to do!" (which is
pretty much what Ricardus means too).
You might be having problems with this girl because the
escalation failed, but it's not necessarily a death sentence... some
of the time you can still land these girls.
I'd guess that this particular one is of a somewhat different
variety than the one Anon was talking about (and I replied to
below your post); it sounds more like she isn't overly flirty, but
leads when she follows, only now she's being a bit evasive after
mating was initiated but not completed.
She'll have to logically decide she wants you at this point,
because now she knows what will happen. So however things
proceed, they'll go according to her decision: yes, she wants sex
with you, and will put herself in a position for it to happen, or no
she does not, and she won't.
All you can do is try and get her out and see what her decision is.
You can also try the failed mating attempt remedy I discussed in
the article on second date strategies (/content/3-second-datestrategies-make-her-flirt-and-swoon) ;
that one can be challenging to
pull off, but it's the highest percentage method when you've tried
and failed to escalate things to intimacy.
Chase
Re: Poker Face (/content/being-challenge-women-really-turningthem#comment-6259)
Posted by Chase Amante (/users/chase-amante) on Tuesday, 15 January 2013

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Hi Anon,
Heres the problem with assuming that

pretty girls must have a superiority complex.
Imagine that every time you go out, women hit on you. Only it isnt
BEAUTIFUL women. Its okay women. And ugly women. And fat
women. And every now and again, women who are attractive
ENOUGH.
Then one day, a BEAUTIFUL woman walks up to this NEVER
happens. Are you afraid she might reject you?
Of course. Because, while you have abundance, you do NOT have
absolute abundance (%E2%80%9D/content/absolute-abundance%E2%80%9D)
, and the case is the same for every woman out there.
Ive never met a woman, ever, who was totally confident she could
get an amazing, high quality man open to her dream relationship at
the drop of a hat. It just doesnt happen.
So what happens is, if youre the kind of man that women actually
get excited about, then yes, ABSOLUTELY, they begin to fear losing
you, and fear rejection. The more attractive and exceptional you
make yourself, the more rare you become for progressively more
women, and the more you run into this.
On women giving you poker faces: I wouldnt spend much time
worrying about how women ought to treat you. Just assume that
they are going to react to you however you make them feel. If theyre
giving you a poker face, yes, exactly that you havent won them
over yet.
There are two solutions to this:
1. Get better at winning them over
2. Get your fundamentals so solid that theyre excited to meet you,
and AUTOMATICALLY won over
Personally, Ive always put more effort into the latter route than the
former because, like you, I dont like having to chase. I prefer
entering interactions already on the advantage, rather than coming
from behind.
The higher status / more beautiful / more emotionally validated a
woman is in any given situation, the tighter your fundamentals need
to be if you dont want this kind of reception. Theres no shortcut to
this; same as a girl dressed in sweat pants and a baggy t-shirt with
sloppy hair and no makeup and a voice that sounds like she spent the
last decade smoking two packs a day is going to get a different
reception from you than a girl who looks exactly like her, except
with sexy clothes, sexy hair, neatly-done makeup, and a voice like a
silver bell, you with tighter fundamentals is going to get a warmer
reception than you with looser ones.
Its really just a function of how you stack up: how good is your style
/ fashion / posture / smile / eye contact / walk / edge /
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smoothness / approach / etc. Did you come in smoothly or did you

stumble in? Did you pre-open? Did you have preselection or not?
Are you talking too fast or nervous, or is the tempo of your voice just
right and are you making ample use of pauses? Are you acting aloof
to get her chasing if shes acting aloof, and warm to reward her if
shes acting warm?
All these things and a thousand more come into play in influencing
whether you get a poker face or not. I wish I could say, Do this one
thing, and youll stop getting it, but this kind of reaction is really an
overall reaction to the complete package you present at any given
time.
So, the good news is, there are a thousand ways to tweak this.
And the bad news is, there are a thousand ways to tweak this.
Seek to improve a little bit every time you go out. Add another piece
your arsenal. And gradually, with time, and with enough
improvement, youll find you get this kind of reception less and less
and less, and a warm / enthusiastic / excited reception less and
less.
Almost forgot there is ONE quick fix you can play around with to
see if its this. Sometimes, YOU can be coming in too cold for women
(and you may not realize it). Where this is the case, women will often
automatically respond with coldness in kind. I was guilty of this for a
long time; what it was was, I was trying to protect my ego by not
putting myself out there until I knew a girl liked me. Unfortunately,
by hiding behind a veil of coldness, I inspired that very same
reception for myself in many of the more socially-attuned (that is to
say, beautiful) women I met.
Once I recognized it and trained myself out of the habit and instead
began acting passionate and warm and receptive instead of cold and
walled off and dispassionate, this poker face reaction went way, way
down.
Chase
I wasn't trying to say that (/content/being-challenge-womenreally-turning-them#comment-6264)
Posted by Anonymous on Tuesday, 15 January 2013
I wasn't trying to say that all of them have a superiority complex but
some certainly do act that way... until you challenge them and show
them that you don't think they're all that special...then they act like "oh
shit, who is this guy not walking on eggshells around me?!" and they
certainly do take note.
But at times it is possible that I may come across as being a bit too
indirect. It really depends on the girl. With some girls, it's easy to display
interest and they clearly know I'm interested and vice-versa, and with
others it's like I display interest, maybe not overly directly but still in a
way that I think is relatively obvious. e.g. Smiling, leaning in, chase
framing, and even saying I like x,y,z about you, etc without coming on
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too thick and appearing needy. Even with this I've still gotten the
occasional poker face. So maybe what I will do in the future is if I cannot
break thru the poker face barrier, continue being warm and more
overtly direct about my intentions (even though that kinda kills some
intrigue) and just let her warm up to me...at the very least I'll get some
more data points on their reactions. I certainly won't give up on this...
Thanks for everything you do here man. It's certainly wonderful to
understand the social dynamics of what's going on and being able to
read btwn the lines... it makes things more certain and thus more
confident.
Becoming More Approachable (/content/being-challengewomen-really-turning-them#comment-6279)
Hey Chase, it's so great we have the opportunity to have all of our
questions answered on here!
Anyway, whilst your site has certainly helped me in approaching girls on
public, at parties etc., I am yet to really get it on with any of the girls in
my school (in my final high school year) because of being a little
introverted and umm, strange for most of my time there! Basically, I can
read that theres attraction, plus I've been told countless times I am
considered one of the more attractive members of our year group, I've
just been a little too shy to act on it. Now my shyness has gone outside
of school, and I'm looking to engage girls in my school, I'm having
trouble trying to change their old opinions.
At the moment I'm working on being more open, and using the eye
contact tips you've talked about here and they're working a little. What
else can I do to a girl who finds me attractive, but is a little apprehensive
because of my low social status? I often find girls looking at me, then
quickly looking away before I can open, what can I do for this? And
finally, I sometimes find, more often at parties, a girl looking at me, looks
away as I engage her and continues to talk to me without eye contact.
This is very annoying, and I'd really like to know how to change it!
Thanks Chase, I know that as a rule of thumb it's best to just meet new
girls but honestly, I see this as like a challenge or a goal that I have to
fulfil. Te rejection in school can give your ego a knock!
Eagerly awaiting your advice,
Yours,
Matt Ramsey
Re: Becoming More Approachable

on Sunday, 20 January 2013
Hi Matt,
If a girl's apprehensive due to your status, the best thing you
can do (provided you can do it) is meet her somewhere it's just the
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12/24/2014
two of you where no one else will see her, get into a quick
conversation that lets her see she's wrong about you, and then
propose (confidently!) that the two of you meet up sometime (for
food, for instance). Trade numbers. Then, just keep it on the downlow unless you begin dating and she chooses to let people know.
Basically, she needs to know that you're going to protect her status,
because in a status-oriented environment like high school is, that's
more important than anything other than a boyfriend she's
absolutely nuts about.
You can also work on increasing your status - give yourself a status
reboost by showing up one day in a revamped style, with a cool new
haircut, and whether the initial wave of skepticism from people who
think you're pretending - they'll get over it and accept that this is the
new you, and then they'll start treating you very differently,
assuming you are acting very differently. At that point, things get
much easier. If they ask why the sudden change, you can simply say,
"I'll be in college in 8 months. And I'm not going as the weird kid. So I
want to start getting used to my new self now so that I'll have all the
kinks worked out by the time I get there."
Girls not making eye contact with you while talking to you - that's
very strange. Could just be they're very shy / not socially very welladjusted. Try leading and geting investment and compliance from
them and see how they respond.
Most of all... keep in mind it's still just high school, a weird /
memorable / unnatural environment unlike any you've ever
experienced before and any you'll ever experience again (well, unless
you spend a lot of time on Facebook, that is). Enjoy it, but there's a
lot more to come.
Chase
Thanks Chase, great advice, (/content/beingchallenge-women-really-turning-them#comment-6554)
Thanks Chase, great advice, added it all to my plan! (though i

think i will leave out the haircut, maybe just change my posture
or bulk up to revamp that style) I'm going to build up a little
strategy to create the attractions and make them a little more
intense whilst to cutting down the time I spend socialising in the
cafeteria, in the library on study breaks etc.
However there's still one or two things I'm not sure about. Firstly,
in the whole building social value thing, I'm not sure if I should
try to increase it by being seen with girls by other girls in school
and things. My plan is, as well as cutting back on my time spent
in school social, to not give the girls I want (the ones no ones got
yet) attention until I really make the move at something like a
party (and I've figured out a great strategy for this too :/).
However this will only work if I've become seen as a 'good catch'
before.
So the idea to keep limited, intense interactions to create
32/37
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attraction (with all girls) but only be seen studying with, having
coffee with, or walking around with the girls I don't want to
create a hard to get kinda idea for the ones I am trying to get?
Will they also subconsciously think 'wow matts talking girls more,
maybe he's coming out of his shell', raising my value and having
them more comfortable speaking to me at parties and the like?
This was incredibly difficult to write down haha, hard to explain! I
hope you understand.
Thanks for replying, in great anticipation of your next reply!
Matt
Resitance! (/content/being-challenge-women-really-turningthem#comment-6502)
Posted by Anonymous on Saturday, 19 January 2013
Hello Chase, there's this girl... haha she's not too bad, we go to the same
high school together and we have afew lessons together, i havent talked
to her much because when i do i expect to move fast and get her in bed
ASAP as i do with most girls, thing is ive been doing some background
research on why everyone of my pals one who is extreemly skilled with
getting women couldnt get her! she's one of the most beautiful girls in
school (according to my peers, to me she seems pretty average) and
hasnt had a boyfriend for afew years, most of her friends say its because
her last boyfriend hurt her so now she places a massive barrier on guys
who get to close to her. is there a way around this? can a move just as
fast with a girl who places alot of resistance? my social status as one of
the most handsome guys normally gets me to persuade any girl.
Valentines day is coming and before then i want to have signed the deal!
can i still use Push-pull (aka the dragon slayer) to get this girl, or will i
have to be indirect?
Second Question, can you move just as fast with someone you see
everyday? or will she not feel the time constraint and rather decide to
extend interactions
Last Question: if women percieve you as a player what should one do? i
think it makes some more preservative women go into auto-rejection, is
that true?
Conservative / Hesitant Girls

on Sunday, 20 January 2013
Howdy Anon,
The problem with ultra-conservative / closed off girls is that they
can get their walls up to the point where they're rejecting out of
hand almost every man they meet. If you have even the slightest hint
of something they see as "threatening," you're out.
The best advice I have on getting around this one is tweaking your
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12/24/2014
vibe to the point that you don't set off any "threat" alerts. See "Better
Than Jerk (/content/secrets-getting-girls-better-jerk) " on that one.
As a player, you can get a lot of women, but there are some women
who are completely closed off to the player because they see him as
insincere, dangerous, scary, or manipulative. To get those girls, you
need to move to the next level of being a "genuine guy." The genuine
guy is still appealing to the same women the player appeals to, but
he's also appealing to the women with walls up.
So long as you don't flip any of her "danger" switches, you can move
quickly with her. You've got to be extremely smooth, though.
Otherwise, if you're not quite there yet, the best way to land a girl
like this is to get her comfortable over a series of dates, ideally held
in quick succession. For instance, she may not be open to sleeping
with you until Date #5, but there's nothing that says that Date #5
can't happen within 2 weeks of Date #1 if you schedule them well
and keep up momentum on running through your dates.
Re: someone you see everyday, usually this is much harder, because
the "risks" associated with a botched hook up are greater. e.g., if
you're a total stranger, she can take a chance on hooking up with
you fast because if it doesn't work out, well, she'll never see you and
feel awkward, and no one else will ever know. But if she sees you
everyday, she risks perpetual awkwardness, and she risks everyone
else finding out.
The less anonymous you are, the slower you end up being able to
move (typically).
Chase
Low attainability
(/content/being-challenge-women-really-
turning-them#comment-11605)
Posted by Anonymous on Monday, 22 July 2013
Hello Chase, another great article. But I have a question about

attainability.
There is this girl I really love and she is also my good friend. She has
been friend of mine since long ago but from 7-8 months ago, I am in love
with her. We chat like everyday on facebook and i know I am desperate
because I can't stay a day without talking to her. We don't meet much
because she's busy with her work except on weekend. We though meet
every morning since we go jogging together(there's another friend too).
I gave her too much attention that when we meet along with our other
friends, our friends sometimes tease us and I think they know I love her.
The problem here is she only thinks of me as a friend but I want her to
be more than friend. My attainability with her is very low. Since she's my
friend, she knows very much about me and to get out of friendzone I
tried to be scarce but problem is we go jogging every morning. (We live
not that far apart) I am jobless right now, im trying really hard to find
job.
What should I do to for right attainability and how I am supposed to
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12/24/2014
make her fall in love with me. Another problem is I am really bad at
conversations with girls and I think she wants financial security which in
my current situation, I can't provide.
Nowadays she isn't texting me as she used to because we used to text
each other all the time and about all the things. She hardly texts me or
only if there's important things. I think since she knew I'm in love with
her, she's acting little different and we are not having as funny
conversation as we used to.
Now please help me. How to get right attainability and how to get out of
friendzone and make her love me. We both are 24 years old.
On Being Clive (/content/being-challenge-women-reallyturning-them#comment-12145)
Posted by Ctown on Sunday, 4 August 2013
Hi Chase,
Great article. It's occurred to me that I'm often seen as the Clive. I've
had two recent relationships sabotaged because the hot girls (8.5s) were
"falling too hard" and "never liked anyone so much". Said it through tears
too. One tried to rekindle the relationship after a few months of self
improvement..
How does a person actually devalue themselves without doing chumpish
things? I hate how I seem to always bring out insecurities in really
beautiful women. It makes them not pursue (or very passively) but they
always leave a door open for me to pursue them. I'd like to be pursued
for once.
BEING A CHALLENGE THROUCH TEXT

(/content/being-challenge-women-really-turning-them#comment23983)
Posted by Anonymous on Saturday, 22 February 2014
If she sees me as being too easy through text, how do you go about
being challenging again, do i ignore her, or try and get her investing in
another way.
If i keep texting her to try and revert the situation am i not seen as
investing too much still?
The problem is that we think (/content/being-challengewomen-really-turning-them#comment-26788)
Posted by Anonymous on Saturday, 3 May 2014
The problem is that we think that our brilliant minds should always be in
control. The truth is that we can't really control the mating game, which
the chemical reaction we call love really is....
If you come across as the most eligible stud in the herd, you will get to
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mate with the most eligible girl even if her logic tells her that you are
probably spreading your seeds all over the place.....
From unattainable to too attainable (/content/beingchallenge-women-really-turning-them#comment-39188)
Posted by Leonardo on Wednesday, 3 December 2014
Great article, Chase. I am a freshman in college and I just got out of a

relationship that lasted most of my senior year of high school and that
summer. I initially got her because I was a challenge and made her work
by being (for lack of a better term) a total asshole. Then when we went
off to college we tried to do the long distance thing , and it started to fall
apart. This article really made me want to slap myself for not realizing
what was going on sooner, that my attainability got way too high and
she simply lost interest. Then, when she told me about having feelings
for this guy she thought was an asshole, i tried to play the white knight
card and that just killed it. Ah how I wish I would have found this article
a few months ago..oh well, there's always next time, eh? Thanks again
for a good read.
-Leonardo
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Being A Challenge To Women (& REALLY Turning Them On) - Girls Chase

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12/24/2014

Tuesday, 23 December 2014

Being a Challenge to Women (& REALLY

by Chase Amante (/users/chase-amante)

Back on the article about gym pickup (/content/gym-pickup-dos-donts-and-howmeet-girls-gym) ,

The Tool (one of our forum members

well) commented in asking about ways he

In the article excerpt from my eBook entitled "How to Challenge Women

Attainability, Value, and Attraction

Too little attainability, and your value becomes too murky, as if

Working for Love

Why do women value men they have

To be a proper challenge to women, you need a handful of things:

Reading Your Attainability

ordinary girl with a lot of "just friends (/content/just-friends-mans-worst-nightmare)

Being a Challenge to Women (and Being Less

(see: "What Does She Want?

The 8 Things You Must Ask Her (/content/what-does-she-want-8-things-youmust-ask-her) ")

Chase framing (/content/secrets-getting-girls-chase-framing) her, setting up

getting higher levels of investment out of her

You can best think of it this way:

When a girl is friendly, uninterested, and/or nice with you,

Inspiring Women to Chase

#1: Using Barriers

For instance, you might be invite a

#2: Creating Scarcity

#3: Applying Time Limits

and will know they need to use what time they

have with you to advance things.

Not being available for social functions. Women will sometimes

Slow correspondence response times. Taking a little while to

Telling women you're moving out of town or not sticking

What's Being a Challenge to Women All

Nor is it a game for a man to be zeroed in on women, or taking a while to

Get Your FREE eBook on Texting Girls

Sign up for our email insights series and get a copy of

Get Instant Access

Trying to piece together a seduction strategy bit-by-bit,

Post to Facebook (https://www.shareaholic.com/api/share/?

Add to Reddit (https://www.shareaholic.com/api/share/?

Sex Without a Bed (/content/being-

girlschase.com%2Fcontent%2Fbeing-challenge-women-really-turning(/users/chase-amante) Posted by Chase Amante (/users/chase-amante)

on Wednesday, 9 January 2013

Post to StumbleUpon (https://www.shareaholic.com/api/share/?

See this article for some ideas on how to handle

Posted by Jack on Wednesday, 9 January 2013

Studentofthegame, I am in high school as well. Would you mind

A few questions (/content/being-challenge-women-reallyturning-them#comment-6092)

Posted by Balla on Wednesday, 9 January 2013

Hey chase just have a few questions

Re: A few questions (/content/beingchallenge-women-really-turningthem#comment-6108)

Posted by Chase Amante (/users/chase-amante)

on Wednesday, 9 January 2013

Hi Chase, While i was reading (/content/being-challengewomen-really-turning-them#comment-6094)

Posted by Anonymous on Wednesday, 9 January 2013

Flight Attendants (/content/beingchallenge-women-really-turningthem#comment-6109)

Posted by Chase Amante (/users/chase-amante)

on Wednesday, 9 January 2013

Posted by Anonymous on Wednesday, 9 January 2013

I have several girls interested in me primarily because of my flaws, and

Re: Byronic (/content/being-challengewomen-really-turning-them#comment-6110)

Posted by Chase Amante (/users/chase-amante)