Attitude

There is a lot going on both before and after ‘attitude’. Our thoughts and feelings tend to
comprise our attitudes towards anything from the other person, to the weather to the world. And
shaping our thoughts and feelings are our beliefs and values. Both of which tend to have been
programmed into what is sometimes called the subconscious. And then there is ‘intention’,
which is also shaped by our beliefs and which also influences the formation of our attitude. You
could say that between intention and action is attitude. An awareness of our attitude tells us
much about our self at any given moment. Five attitudes in particular are probably worthy of
aspiration and the challenge of conscious creation.

• When you extend true love to everyone with selfless motivation that is
an attitude of kindness.

• When you send good wishes and generate pure feelings towards those
who are in deep sorrow that is an attitude of mercy.

• When you see the virtues rather than the weaknesses in others that is
an attitude of compassion.

• When you bless and uplift someone, even as they defame you, that is
an attitude of forgiveness.

• When you tolerate a situation and take responsibility as well as give

cooperation, even when not appreciated, that is an attitude of humility
and self-respect.

Each is also worthy of reflection.

When you extend true love to everyone with selfless motivation that is an attitude of
kindness

Three concepts meet and merge into one action - love, selflessness and kindness. Rarely seen
but often aspired to. Why? Probably because love has become more of a fuzzy idea, than a real
and authentic gesture. It seems ‘love’ is now one of the most misused words in our language.
To say ‘I love my country’ is not true love, but identification. To say ‘I love that movie’ is not
true love but a very transient stimulation. To say ‘I love my heroin or my chocolate’ is not true
love but more like a dependency, even an addiction! To say ‘I love you’ sounds good, feels OK,
but can easily be translated as I want you. Only the speaker knows his or her own motive. True
love is not identification, stimulation, dependency or desire. The extending of true love is
simply the extending of the self as a conscious and benevolent connection is made with the
other. It’s not even motivated by the thought, “I want to give”. That’s nearly love, but even that
is tinged by desire, and true love has no desire. Or does it? As soon as the self ‘wants’ then the
energy of the self, which is love itself, ceases to radiate naturally. It ceases to flow outwards
without distortion, and it tries to bring some part of the universe into itself. Ultimately love
neither gives or takes or wants. It simply is and it simply does. Without the distorting

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‘intention’ of giving, taking or wanting, the energy of the self simply radiates as it must,
creating the appropriate action as it must, and whoever it touches feels the gentle touch of
kindness, they feel touched, and we even say…’I was so touched’. Understanding the true
nature of love seems to be one of the deepest challenges at this particular time. And ultimately
all words are inadequate.

When you send good wishes and pure feelings to those who are in deep sorrow that is an
attitude of mercy.

This is not so easy when faced with the sorrow of others, especially if they are family or
friends. We tend to ‘sympathise’ and create sorrow for ourselves under the illusion that by
doing so we are giving support. It means we have either forgotten or not yet learned the real
meaning of empathy, which is to understand someone from their point of view by sensing their
perspective and their feelings/emotions without allowing our self to create the same emotions.
Empathy is also rooted in the energy of love. It is loves natural response when faced with the
suffering of another. Love is where empathy gets its strength not to be affected by the others
sorrows. The others emotion is a symptom of their momentary weakness, and being in the
company of someone who does not cry, but remains strong, can give them the strength to pull
themselves up and out of their emotional trough. In a world where we learn that the loving
thing to do is to ‘cry with’ the other, and thereby adding to their tears, it’s not easy to not to join
in and add to the sorrowfulness.

When you see the virtues rather than the weaknesses in others that is an attitude of
compassion.

It’s also not so easy to not judge others when the world seems to both encourage it and turn it
into a virtue. It’s a real challenge to look behind the apparent weakness or faults off another and
affirm the goodness that lies within. It first requires that we be able to do the same for
ourselves. We may do things that we may label bad or stupid but we are not an innately bad or
stupid person. Self-criticism is both toxic and disabling. To know our own innate goodness and
strengths becomes the only way we can see it genuinely in others. And as we do we give them
the gift of a higher vision of themselves than that which they have for themselves in that
moment. This is both a subtle and a spiritual empowerment. It empowers the other in a way
they may not even notice at the time.

When you bless and uplift someone even as they defame you that is an attitude of
forgiveness.

It is hard not to react and feel personally insulted when someone criticises or defames us. All
our conditioning wants to ‘be offended’. But it’s just another of egos games. It is really the
conditioning that is offended not the self. Whenever we take anything personally it just means
we don’t yet know ourselves as we truly are. We are still identifying with a false image we have
given to our self. When we know ourselves as conscious beings with no self-image, when we
are aware of our self only as consciousness, words cannot touch and therefore hurt us. The one
who would insult us is then seen to be suffering within themselves. Their words, and the energy
behind the words, are recognised as a symptom of their own discomfort. A need is discerned, so
love as compassion arises. And that is forgiving. Love senses the need of the other and makes
itself available. Because love is for giving! Naturally!

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When you tolerate a situation and take responsibility as well as give cooperation, even
when not appreciated, that is an attitude of humility and self-respect.

Perhaps this is the profile of ‘hero’. The hero is someone who saves the day. They have the
courage to step up and put themselves in danger, to take what seems to be a risk that few others
would dare to take. The attitude of humility is only possible where there is the courage to let go
of the illusion upon which the ego is based. It is always a false image that the self attaches to,
perhaps even for a lifetime, hence the courage that is required to let go or to ‘see though’ the
illusion to the truth. “I am not that (image)”. This is why humility cannot be pursued but arises
only when there is the courage to let go of the illusion that the fear is real. All fear arises from
the ego, and the ego is not real, so the fear is also unreal. Fear always loses its power when
reality is restored. Only then, when the self stops being busy in egos game of self protection,
can the self be fully available for all, which is co-operation in the most complete sense.

Question: Why do we often find generating the above attitudes difficult?

Reflection: The attitude of gratitude generates altitude creating the latitude to develop
aptitude – discuss (with yourself!)

Action: Stop twice a day this week and write down your attitude at the time, or the
attitude just past, thereby raising your awareness of your attitudes and their origins.